My Summer as a Girl

[Alana]

"OK, Tom. Let's see you resist me in this."

Man, what was happening to me?

I checked myself out from the back. Very sexy, but I wasn't crazy about the fact that my bra strap was showing.
   

[Alana]

It reminded me of before, when my sisters were snapping my bra strap. I hoped they wouldn't do that to me, now. Not in front of Tom. I'd just die of embarrassment.

I went into the piano room, where Tom was waiting for me. He had brought some nice clothes of his own to wear, and he looked very handsome. Mom was there, too.

When he saw me, the old familiar look came into his eyes, bubbling over with lust. I can't believe Mom didn't notice.

"How do I look?" I asked.
   

[Alana]

"You are the sexiest woman I've ever seen in my life," he said.

Mom didn't react as though there was anything at all odd about him saying that. I guess she thought he was just making fun of me, like everyone else.

Melinda, as though my sisters had arranged it ( which they had ), said, "Mom, we've been thinking that we'd rather stay and eat here, tonight."

"Why?"

"Well, we're just tired out, is all. But Tom and Joanie can go by themselves, if they want to."

"Oh, so I don't get to go either, then?" asked Mom.

"Well, they're friends. Let 'em spend some time together."

My sisters were just bubbling over with excitement at the two of us having dinner together, but Mom didn't seem to notice.

"Is that what you two want?" she asked.

We said yes, so she agreed. Tom was to drive. He was sixteen and already had his license. She gave Tom her credit card to pay for the meal.

Tom drove us to the supper club. The night was heavenly. So romantic. I had no idea Tom could be such a gentleman on a date, opening the door for me, helping me with my chair, treating me like a lady. I was afraid to say a word out loud, lest I give myself away as a boy, but no one was staring, no one seemed to notice anything unusual about me.

When the music started, Tom stood and held out a hand to me. He didn't have to coax me at all. I took his hand, and he pulled me to my feet and led me to the dance floor. I'd never danced in a dress before, hell I'd only been wearing them a week, but I just stayed close to Tom and let him lead me across the floor. We danced close. I held on and tried to forget how much my feet were hurting in three-inch heels.

We went for a walk after dinner, Tom with his arm around my waist.

"What are you doing with me, Tom?" I asked. "You're so handsome and gorgeous. You could have any girl you want, and here you are, dating me. And I'm not even a real girl."

"You will be, one day."

I looked at him in surprise.

"In this world," he said, "you have to become who you are."

"You expect me to have that operation? Just for you?"

"Of course not. Not just for me, only because you want to. Because you're really and truly a girl inside. And I think you are."

"How do you know?"

"I don't. That's something you have to decide for yourself. But I hope you do become a girl, because---can I tell you a secret?"

"What?"

"I'm falling in love with you. I think I want to marry you, someday."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Tom, please don't say that if it isn't true. Don't play games with me."

"Of course it's true. I love you."

Before I could respond, he pulled me into an alleyway and kissed me.

We kissed for a very long time. When we stopped kissing and left the alley, we walked a little further and turned the corner. And there was a motel.

"Look at that," he said. "Do you think they would take your mother's credit card?"

"Tom, please don't ask that of me. This is all moving so fast. I mean, a week ago I was just an ordinary boy, and look at me now, in a sexy dress and high heels, going on a date with a handsome boy, and now you tell me you love me! I don't even know what you're going to ask me to do in a motel room, and I don't want to know! Please, let's just go back. This is all too confusing."

"Alright."

On the way back I saw a flyer posted somewhere.

"Look, Tom! There's a dance tomorrow night at the auditorium! Let's go!"

"Well, I don't know."

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun! Didn't you like dancing tonight?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to dance for hours and hours."

"Tom, it's not going to work for you to be the guy who doesn't ever do whatever he doesn't want to do. Sometimes you're just going to have to do some of the things your girlfriend wants to do."

And there it was. I had used the G word. I was his girlfriend.

"OK," he said. "On one condition. You wear that dress."

I looked down at myself, thinking he meant the sexy black dress I had on, but he was pointing at a shop window, and there in the window was the loveliest red chiffon dress I had ever seen in my life! OK, the whole dress wasn't chiffon, but the sleeves were. I could just imagine twirling across the dance floor in that dress, my full skirt swirling about my legs in nylons, Tom by my side.

"Do you want to buy it for me?"

"I'll use my own money. I brought some cash with me."

"Well, I guess I'll have to at least try it on. I can't resist trying it on."

We went into the shop together. Tom asked if I could try on the dress. I was still afraid to talk, still afraid I would give myself away.

I tried on the dress, and some red pumps to go with it. I came out of the changing room and awkwardly posed for my boyfriend. I was still a little nervous, being around other people as a girl.
   

[Alana]

"You are so luscious!" he said. I smiled.

The sales lady asked if I would like to wear it home. I nodded.

"Would it be possible for her to try on that gown, while we're here?"

I saw what he was referring to, and I blushed. It was a gorgeous wedding gown!

The sales lady was skeptical.

"Aren't you two a little young to be getting married?"

"OK, we're not getting married yet, but we will be one day," he said. "Look at her. Look at how beautiful she is. Can you imagine how lovely she'll be in that gown?"

I was just about dying of embarrassment.

"I really shouldn't let women try this on unless they're ready to buy," she said. "But you two make such a cute couple. I guess I can bend the rules, just this once."

I went with her to get changed. As I left, I gave him a look, to say, "What did you get me into, here?"
   

[Alana]

A wedding gown, is what he got me into, here.

When we were in the changing room together and she was helping me into the gown and veil, she said, "Hold on to that one, honey. He's a keeper. And he's crazy about you!"

I nodded, still terrified to speak.

I couldn't believe how heavenly it felt to wear a wedding gown! When I showed myself to Tom, he was at a loss for words, for a moment. He recovered, and said I looked absolutely angelic.

I smiled, and sat down in my gown. My feet were tired.
   

[Alana]

I changed back into my new red dress and red pumps. As she rang up the purchase, the sales lady said to Tom, "Quiet one, isn't she?"

We walked back to the car holding hands, the wind swirling and flipping up my skirt. I felt like it was the most romantic night of my life. In my other hand I held the black dress and pumps I had worn to dinner. My new red pumps felt like bedroom slippers compared to the black ones.

"We can never be friends again, can we?" I asked. "Not like we used to be. You'll only be wanting to see me in a dress from now on."

"I'm afraid that's true."

"I'm going to miss you as a friend."

"We've found something a lot better," he said, putting one arm around my waist, and pulling me in close for a kiss.

We were quite a hit at home when we came through the door, me in my new dress.

"What are you wearing?" asked Mom.

"This is called a dress, Mom."

"Where did you get it?"

"I bought it for her," said Tom. "I used my own money."

The indignation of my sisters was wonderful to behold, and I enjoyed it very much.

"Mom, why does Joanie get to have a new dress? Does he get to keep that?" asked Melinda.

"Of course he doesn't get to keep it; he's a boy! Tom, I don't understand, why are you buying my son dresses?"

"What son? I don't see any son here."

"Look, Tom, we've been kidding around with this thing, but let's not let it get out of hand."

"Mom, he bought me a dress because we're going to a dance tomorrow night in town."

"Is that so? And whose idea was this?"

"Mine. Look, Mom, I never asked to be a girl but I am one, and as long as I am, why can't I have a little fun? What's wrong with a dance?"

My sisters joined in the enthusiasm. If I got to go, why couldn't they go? My mother couldn't withstand the onslaught of all my sisters at once, and she gave in.

It was late, and my Mom wanted to turn in for the night. Tom went to his room, but there was to be no sleeping for me. My sisters dragged me off to Melissa and Melinda's room and wanted to hear every detail of my date with Tom. I got along better with my sisters that night than ever before or since. They hung on every word I said, and they were so jealous of me! I didn't tell them every detail, of course, but what I did tell them made them swoon with delight!

I felt more like a girl that night than I had even on my date with Tom. Maybe Tom was right. Maybe I was meant to be a girl.

Melanie loved my new dress. She kept asking to borrow it.

"No. It's mine," I said.

The next night, we all got ready for the dance as soon as dinner ended. Melissa and Melinda borrowed dresses from Melanie. Melanie was the only one who brought dresses, and they were all meant for me to wear. I slipped into my pretty red dress and went out to meet Tom. We were alone, and we kissed a little before my sisters showed up.

Mom decided she would stay home by herself. She said goodbye and told us not to stay out too late. As we went out to the car, my sisters were giggling merrily. I wished I had a high-pitched giggle, too.

Wouldn't you know it, at the dance there was a shortage of guys and a surfeit of girls. All the single girls in their pretty summer dresses stayed on one side of the hall and kept their eyes on the door, waiting for the next guy to come in by himself. But it was mostly couples. When a guy did come in alone, the girls couldn't afford to play hard to get. They snatched him up like raw meat thrown into a lion's cage. My sisters stood watching me dance with Tom, silently fuming. I couldn't help it; I laughed at them a little as Tom twirled me around the dance floor.

Whenever a boy came in and the girls excitedly gathered around him, I thought to myself, "I wish I were a boy."

But I am a boy. It's a boy in this dress, a boy curtseying to his partner, a boy adjusting his bra strap, a boy worrying about getting runs in his nylons.

But I didn't feel like a boy.

Hours passed like minutes. Tom was a wonderful dancer, and he made me a better dancer, just being with him. I thought to myself that I'm usually a person who gets cold easily and sneezes a lot, yet in that drafty dance hall in my dress with the chiffon sleeves, I never sneezed once. I thought perhaps it might have something to do with wearing high heels. My toes being pressed together that way was uncomfortable, but it kept my feet extremely warm. In fact, I couldn't recall sneezing once since I'd started wearing high heels.

I was so glad Tom had bought me my pretty new dress. The full skirt was a dream to dance in. And Tom never passed up a chance to twirl me around.

The dance was winding to a close after nearly two hours, and my sisters hadn't had a single dance. I admit it; I felt sorry for them. I said, "Darling, my sisters never got to dance with a boy. Why don't you dance them once around the floor before the night is over. Please? For me?"

"After they've been making fun of you for days?"

"I know, I know. But they went to a lot of trouble to give us a date together last night. Please? I'll just sit over here and wait for you."

So I sat and waited while he danced with my sisters. When he danced with Melissa he kept trying to watch me as they went around the dance floor, but there were too many other couples. He couldn't see me until he got closer, and when he caught sight of me, his face brightened considerably. The same thing happened when he danced with Melinda. I sat and watched, enjoying his attentions. Even when my darling danced with another girl, he just couldn't keep his eyes off me.
   

[Alana]

When he danced with Melanie, I decided to really give him something to look at. I posed myself unforgettably.