I Won't Take Off My Dress!

[Alana]

I was sitting on something. I reached behind me and pulled out my reading glasses. They weren't damaged, fortunately.

"You two have nothing to worry about. I had a little talk with Joey. He won't be coming back here."

"He better not, or we may have to contact the police."

"Nothing's happened you can tell the police about. Unless you think you can have me arrested for wearing a dress."

I took a look at Beryl, and thought it wouldn't be a bad idea for her to be arrested for the monstrosity SHE was wearing. But I didn't say it.

Beryl jumped up.

"I can't stand this!" she said. "Where's your loo? I need to go to the loo."

"Down the hall and to the right."

She left us, then came back and said, "I can't believe I'm about to ask this, but do you have any tampons?"

"Sorry. Fresh out."

While she was gone, Karl said, "I hope you're happy, upsetting my wife like this."

"I'm sorry about all this. But like I said, I had a little talk with Joey. Everything's fine."

"Everything’s fine. You sit there dressed like that and say everything’s fine. Why do you dress like this? Why are you wearing that dress?"

"Why not? Don't you like it? I thought you were a leg man, like Joey."

I deliberately pointed my legs in his direction, even more than I had been. He gave me an appreciative look, in spite of himself.

[Alana]

"What the hell were you doing, giving him that picture?"

"That was taken without my permission."

"I can't believe my son is gay."

"Oh, he's not gay and neither am I. We both got a little carried away, is all. But if you're intent on making a fuss about it, people might just think Joey actually IS gay. You wouldn't want that, would you?

Beryl came back in. They both made a few more confused, angry threats, and left.

Sunday morning, I got up and put on my formal lavender dress. I did love lavender. I even got out a little bouquet of artificial flowers I'd been saving.

I'd lost so much in the past week. This couldn't all be for nothing. I had to gain something, too. I was about to go outside my house in a dress for the first time. I was going to my conservative C. of E. church in my lavender dress. They might ask me to leave, they might remove me bodily, they might even prevent me from coming in. Or they might just ignore me and not say a word. In any case, I was going. And afterwards I intended to do a little dress shopping.

And if Joey hadn't been all over me, flirting with me and trying to kiss me, I doubt I'd have had the courage. I always thought everyone would laugh at me. But in the past week no one, not even my son, had ever laughed at me.

And then, standing at the window, I began to lose my nerve. Like before, just before Nick saw me in a dress for the first time. I thought I couldn't go through with it.

[Alana]

The phone rang. It was Beryl.

"Oh, hello Beryl."

"Hello, Crissy. I was hoping I'd get you before you left for church."

I was confused as to why she was calling me Crissy.

"What is it?"

"I want to invite you over for dinner and game night on Wednesday evening. We usually eat at about seven o'clock."

"Isn't that just for family?"

"Well, I'm making you honourary family. Will you be there?"

"Sure, if you want."

"Wear something sexy."

"I don't understand. You want me to wear a dress?"

"Do you have any dresses shorter'n what I saw?"

"No. That's my shortest. Beryl, what's going on?"

"Oh, you wouldn't believe what Karl did to me last night! He attacked me! I mean, in a good way. He tore my clothes off and made love to me with a crazy passion I haven't seen in quite a long time!"

"You don't really think that was due to me, do you?"

"Oh, I know it was due to you! He almost called me Crissy!"

"And you're OK with this?"

"What do I care who lights the fuse, as long as I'm around to enjoy the fireworks? Come on, Crissy, just between us girls, do me this favour."

"Of course. It's going to be awkward with Joey there, but---of course."

"Never mind Joey. You do all your flirting with Karl, understand?"

"Yes, dear. I'll see you there."

She said good-bye, and we both hung up.

I looked out the window, and wondered if I still had the courage to go to church this way.

"I said, "I won't---"

Oh, you know what I said.

As far as game night with the Erskines was concerned, it was mostly enjoyable, except that playing Twister in a short dress is not as much fun as you might think, especially if you’re not a big fan of letting everyone peek up your skirt. But I know the guys enjoyed it!

[Alana]

THE END
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