Mitch

[Sandra B]

1.
Mrs Langston was a foster mother.  She had fostered several children in her time, but now she was down to two – the last two, she had decided.  She was in her fifties, fostering had been a full-time job, and she wanted a rest and some personal time.
The two – well, there was Mitch, now nearly thirteen, and the latest arrival, Lucy, who was six.  Mitch was mixed race, with a dark skin, large brown eyes with long lashes, a quick laugh, and a gentle disposition..  Everyone who saw him commented on his beauty.  Lucy was the opposite - pale and fair, with a mischievous and even calculating nature.  Mitch had been with his foster-mother since he was small.  Lucy she had taken on only a year before.
Though Mrs Langston was single, having divorced her husband year ago, (on account of his being unable to cope with taking second place to a human menagerie), she had many friends, some of whom had been erstwhile foster children.  One such was Alice, now twenty-two, and three months pregnant.  The father had done a quick exit upon discovering that fact, but Alice, despite her own difficult childhood, had decided to have the baby and give it everything she had lacked.  She had a number of good friends, apart from Elizabeth Langston, and was confident there would be no shortage of support available.
To celebrate her decision, some of those friends had got together to plan a little surprise party.  They had convened in Elizabeth’s living-room to sort out the details over a glass of wine.  Someone – no-one could remember who afterwards – had made a joking proposition.  One of the company, Patty, had a toddler, a girl of two, and it was suggested that she should be put in baby things and presented to Alice as an overgrown example of what she was going to have to deal with in the near future!  But when the hilarity had died down, Elizabeth herself made a rather surprising interjection.
“I’ve got a better idea.  Why don’t we dress up Mitch, instead?  He’d make a very pretty baby.  That would be a real surprise for Alice!”
Her friends stared at her.
“Is that a serious suggestion?” asked Beth.
“I don’t know…it just occurred to me…”
“I can’t imagine him agreeing to that…”
They lapsed into silence.
“He might,” said Sarah, who knew Mitch very well, having babysat Elizabeth’s children for many years.  “He might just.  You know he loves dressing up and showing off.  He’s always doing it for me.  I think he’s going to be an actor when he grows up.  And he loves parties.  Maybe I could persuade him.  It would be amazing if I could.”
“So what have you got in mind, Elizabeth?”
“I don’t know.  I was just being facetious really.  Sarah, come on.  I know what you mean about him, but I can’t imagine he’d really…”
“Now you’re backtracking, Liz.  Let me try, anyway.  No harm done, right?”
Elizabeth laughed.  “No, absolutely.  Go ahead.  You have them this Saturday in any case.  Good luck!”
The conversation passed on to other matters, and for the time being the idea was forgotten.  Forgotten by all.  Except Sarah. 

[Sandra B]

2.
Sarah loved a challenge, and had decided to give this one her best shot.  She knew Mitch had a bit of a crush on her, so she decided to exploit it.  That Saturday afternoon, instead of her usual jeans and top, she put on a little black party dress, high heels, full makeup, and her most expensive perfume.  Mitch was duly impressed, his eyes opening even wider than usual as he answered the door.  Lucy, on the other hand, puckered her little forehead, wrinkled her freckly nose, and articulated an elongated “yuuuk…”
“Now, Lucy darling, don’t be rude, please,” said her mother.  “I have to go.  Sarah will give you your supper.  Behave, remember?  There’s a good girl.”
But Lucy did not behave.  She could sense there was something going on, and she wasn’t that fond of Sarah in the first place.  She hated the way Mitch played up to her every time she babysat – so eager to please, like her little puppy.  So she made herself as difficult as possible that evening, and Sarah was relieved when she was finally in bed and asleep.  Mitch, on the other hand, in his innocence, had no idea Sarah had any ulterior motive in appearing dressed up to the nines.  He happily embraced the eye candy – and would have literally embraced  it had he had the chance – and made himself agreeable to Sarah in any way he could.  Which was just what she wanted.  She encouraged him in his thespian displays that evening, from Gandalf to Deadpool, and finally invited him to join her on the couch.
“Mitch, darling, you really have a talent for acting, don’t you?”
“I dunno.  But I’m gonna be in the school play at the end of term.  Miss Hayward said so.”
“Really?  Who are you playing?  What’s the play?”
“It’s Romeo and Juliet…  Don’t know who I’ll be…”
“Romeo, of course!  You’d be perfect!”
Mitch blushed.  “Don’t think so…”
Sarah looked sideways at him, his black curly hair and long lashes.  If Miss Hayward’s got any sense, you will, she thought.
“So do you think you could play any role?”
“Dunno.  I’d try, anyway.”
“Well, I’ve just seen you can play an old man.  I loved the cracked voice, and the way you staggered along.  What about a baby?  Do you think you could play a baby?”
“A baby?”
“No, it would be impossible, wouldn’t it?  That’s asking too much.  I mean, apart from anything else, you’d just be too big…”
“Well, Sarah, acting isn’t just about appearance, Miss Hayward says.  She says it’s about believing you’re the person you’re playing…”
“Oh, I see.  Well, that makes sense.  So, when’s this play then?  I must come and see it.”
“It’s on the last day of term.  But…why were you asking about playing a baby?”
“Oh, it was nothing really.  I’m sure we’ll find somebody.  Or we’ll just forget all about it.  It was a silly idea, really…”
“Tell me…please…”
“Well…  It’s Alice, you see.  You know she going to have a baby?  Yes.  Well, we’re planning to give her a party…  Two weeks’ time.  You know, cheer her up, remind her we all support her.  Someone had this idea…as a laugh, we’d find someone to play her future baby, to burst in when she was least expecting it, or jump out of a cake, or something.  We just thought it would be a good joke.  But I can see it’s not going to happen…”
“I can do it!  Sarah, please!  Let me!”  The prospect of being the centre of attention was too much for Mitch.
“No, Mitch, really.  You don’t have to.  I mean, you’d have to dress up just like a baby, and everything.  And you have your play to rehearse for…”
“Don’t be silly!  Rehearsals will be in school time.  Please let me do it!  I bet I can be a great baby!” 
“Well…”
“Okay?  Deal, then?”
“If you’re sure…”
“I’m sure, Sarah.  I’ll do whatever it takes.  Boy, is Alice gonna get a surprise!”

[Sandra B]

3.
When Sarah relayed the news to the girls, they were ecstatic.  Elizabeth was also very impressed.
“You must have him wrapped around your little finger, Sarah.  But it’s not over yet.  Now it’s going to be your responsibility to get him into his babywear.”
“Yeah,” said Grace.  “And we’d better get started on that stuff without delay.  There’s less than a fortnight to go.”
“Can you handle that, Grace?  You’re in the rag trade.”
“No problem.  But it would be useful to have some measurements.”
“Course,” said Elizabeth.  “No problem.”
“And how’s he going to make his appearance?” asked Vivian.
“I have an idea,” said Patty.  “The other day I saw a big old-fashioned pram outside that junk shop on Wealden Road.  Must be fifty years old at least.  He could curl up in there under a blanket and we could wheel him in.”
“Haha.  Brilliant!” laughed Elizabeth.
“I’ll see if it’s still there.”

The pram was there, and Patty pushed it home – much to the amusement of her neighbours – and gave it a good clean and polish.  It had chrome wheels and a chrome handle, a black frame, and a black hood, which still worked.  It was much bigger than modern buggies, and quite wide – maybe it had been intended for twins.  She bought a little plastic-covered baby mattress to line it with and a fluffy blue blanket.  It would be a squeeze, but Mitch would just about have room to hide under the blanket.
Meanwhile Grace had got Mitch’s measurements and was organising his outfit.  She got some big kids’ pull-ups – the puffiest she could find – and from an adult baby supplier she got a pack of plastic pants, the smallest they had, which would fit him perfectly.  They were good quality – not too thin – in very nice rustling pastel blue plastic, with a design of scattered coloured stuffed animals.  Very sweet, she thought with a smile.  She was really enjoying her part in the surprise, and she was going to make sure it was not only a surprise for Alice, but possibly a surprise for Mitch himself too.  From the same source she got him a pair of bootees, in soft blue plastic, which were secured at the ankles with blue ribbons; and a pair of short matching socks, trimmed with white lace.  For his top she chose a stretchy little blue vest with short sleeves and a round collar, with “Baby Cool” in script embroidered across the front.  She also bought a blue and white changing bag, with all the equipment, together with accessories such as bibs, bottles and pacifiers, and even a soft toy and a rattle to keep him amused.  Satisfied she had obtained everything necessary for Mitch’s care and comfort, she reported back to her friends. 

A final meeting a week before the event made arrangements for the purchase and transport of food and drink – including non-alcoholics for Alice herself – and included a discussion about Mitch’s preparation – if any. On the whole it was decided he should have as little warning as possible of what he was in for – though Sarah was quietly hopeful he would comply without demur.
“He didn’t seem to object to the idea – and I did warn him what was expected…though I might have been a bit vague about the details…”

The plan was for the girls to arrive together just after lunch, all except Sarah.  Patty would bring the pram and park it to one side of the front porch, where Alice wouldn’t see it.  Meanwhile Sarah would be at Mitch’s house getting Mitch ready.  She’d then drive him to Alice’s, get him in the pram, and ring the bell at precisely two o’clock.  Alice would answer the door, Sarah would push the pram inside, and at a signal Mitch would spring out and embrace Alice as his mummy.
The first bit went off all right.  The problems started when Sarah began unpacking Mitch’s outfit.  He stared at the pull-up and the pants in horror.
“What’s that?”
“Baby clothes.  What do you think?”
“No…I thought you wanted me to wear a onesie or something…”
“Who said anything about a onesie?”
“No, but…I know…but…I can’t wear those…”
“Course you can.  Don’t be a wimp.”
“Is that a dummy?”
“A pacifier…yeah.”
“No!”
“Come on, Mitch.  You’re supposed to look like a baby.  You agreed, remember?  Anyway, it’s very calming to suc-k on a pacifier.  It pacifies, see?  Try it now and calm down.”
“No!”
“What are you afraid of?  I thought you were a brave boy.  Look, you don’t have a choice.  Everything’s arranged.  Everyone’s waiting.  And if you don’t play your part, I’ll be so disappointed.  I’ve told everyone you'd do it.  They’ll think I’m an idiot, and you’re a coward.  Don’t be silly.  They’re all your friends.  It’s only a bit of fun, after all.  I don’t know why you seem to think it’s such a big deal.”
Mitch looked chastened.
“Promise no-one will laugh at me…”
“Course not!  The joke’s going to be on Alice, not you.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true…  All right then, Sarah, but I’m only doing it because you asked me.  I wouldn’t do this for anyone else…  And never tell, okay?”
“No way.  Now come on, let’s get you ready.  We’re supposed to make our entrance at two.”

Sarah turned her back while Mitch undressed and put on his pull-up.  Then she sat his down to put on his socks and bootees, helped him on with his vest, which fitted him snugly and came down over the top of the pull-up, and finally held out his plastic pants for him to step into.  He wrinkled his nose but gingerly slipped his feet through the elasticated legs.
“They’re so…babyish!”
“Exactly,” laughed Sarah, pulling them up and snapping the elastic waistband in place over the bottom of his vest.  “There!  Very smart.  They’re such a pretty blue, and those little toys…”
Mitch grimaced.
“How does it feel?”
“It’s all very comfy, I suppose…”
“Of course.  That’s the point.  Baby’s need to comfy, and dressed in nice soft fabrics.  You look terrific.  Alice is going to have quite a surprise.”
“Yeah,” agreed Mitch, seemingly beginning to forget his embarrassment at the prospect of giving Alice a shock, “yeah, I’m gonna give her such a fright…”

[Sandra B]

4.
Mitch’s enthusiasm waned a little once they were in the car and on their way to Alice’s, and he became positively dismayed when they were forced to park a good two hundred yards from her house.
“Can’t you get any closer?”
“No room, as you see.”
“I can’t walk all that way.”
“Don’t be lazy.”
“You know what I mean, Sarah!  What if someone sees me?”
“Oh, really, Mitch.  Don’t be such a wimp.  There’s no-one around anyway.  Run if you must.  Go on.”
And he did,  with a quick glance up and down the road, he jumped out and sprinted for Alice’s gate.  He couldn’t have timed it worse.  He’d got a little over half way to his goal, when the door of the house next door to Alice’s opened, and two little girls emerged.  Mitch stopped dead,  Which way would they turn?  But his luck was out.  They exited the gate and turned straight towards him.  For a moment he was frozen in a state of indecision.  Should he bluff it out?  But they had seen him.  One was pointing, and the other clapped her hand to her mouth in disbelief.  His nerve failed him completely, and he turned and ran back to the car.  But by now Sarah was out and the doors were locked.
“Let me in!  Sarah!  They’ve seen me!  Please!”  He was in a state of total panic. 
“What’s the matter with you, Mitch?  Now you really are behaving like a baby.  Don’t be so silly.  Come on, let’s go.”  And she set off towards the oncoming girls.  Mitch hesitated, then fell in behind her, trying to keep her between himself and the girls.  But Sarah was having none of it.  She stopped and looked back. 
“Mitch!  Come here and hold my hand.  There’s nothing to be frightened of.”
By now the two girls had come level.  They were both gawping at the squirming Mitch with undisguised interest and delight.  One was about Mitch’s age, the other a year or two younger.  The elder spoke, without taking her eyes of Mitch for a second.
“Hi, Sarah.  Going to Alice’s?”
“Hi Lettie.  Hi Lorrie.  Yes, we are.  This is Mitch – you know, the boy I babysit sometimes?  Mitch, meet Lettie and Lottie, the Bradley sisters. They live next door to Alice.  Where are you two off to?”
“Just going to the shop,” said Lettie, tossing her long blonde hair, and smirking at Mitch, who had turned bright red and was staring at his bootees.
“Why is he dressed as a baby?” asked Lottie, with innocent directness.
“He’s turned into one from being babysat so often!” laughed Lettie.
“No, girls.”  Sarah was going to tell them about the prank, but her mischievous self took over.  “No…Mitch just likes attention, and babies get lots of attention. We’re going to Alice’s so he can show off to all my friends.  Call in later and say hi if you like.”
Mitch stared at her.  “No…that’s not…”
But the girls were gone, with a whoop and a “okay – see you later” from Lettie.
“Why did you say that?” Mitch fumed.
“Oh, relax, Mitch.  Stop being a big boy and get into character.  If you’d played your part properly just now you could have come out of that looking smart instead of like a sissy.”
Mitch didn’t say any more.  She was right in a way.  It all depended how you behaved.

They found the pram tucked to one side of the front porch.  Mitch climbed in, with Sarah’s help, and she stuffed the bag of accessories in next to him.  There wasn’t much room even though it was a big old pram.  His knees stuck up and the back of his neck was pressed hard against the frame.
“It’s only for a minute,” Sarah reassured him, as she spread the soft baby blanket over his body, and ratcheted up the hood.
She checked her watch and rang the bell.  While they waited, Mitch explored the bag, and chose a big blue pacifier on a ribbon, which he hung around his neck.  Elizabeth answered the door, and gave her a silent thumbs up when she saw the figure in the pram.  Then she led then down the passage to the living room.
“Alice, we have a little surprise for you, darling.  We thought a little practice wouldn’t go amiss…so…”
Alice was sitting at one end of the sofa.  Her eyes widened when she saw the pram.
“What is that?”
Sarah steered the pram to alongside the sofa.  Mitch was hidden behind the hood.  Sarah thrust in back all at once, and the ‘baby’ sprang, out and landed right next to the startled Alice.  Her glass of wine spilled all over her dress, and she let out a scream of surprise.  But before she could react further, Mitch had flung himself at her, hanging onto her dress like a baby chimp onto its mother’s fur, and began babbling, “Mummy!  Mummy!  It’s me – your new baby!   I’m born!  Baby wants cuddles and kisses” – (that was said with sincerity) – “and lots of love from his mummy…”  And he nestled his head against her breast.
Alice was recovering from the shock now, and pushed him away, but merely so she could get a good look at him.  Her frends were convulsed with laughter.
“Mitch!  Oh my god, I wondered what was going on!  Look at you!  Oh my god, you look incredible!  Little plastic pants, too!  Just like the real thing…  Better than the real thing, in fact, because you’re already so cute.  The cutest, coolest baby I’ve ever seen!”  She looked around at her friends.  “So who thought up this one, eh?”
“I think Elizabeth suggested it,” said Patty.
“I wasn’t serious – not at first, anyway.  But really it’s all down to Mitch.  If he hadn’t been so brave and agreed to it…”
Mitch looked proud of himself.
“Thank you, Mitch.  I’m grateful for the lovely surprise,” smiled Alice.  “Perhaps you’d stay being my baby all through my pregnancy, would you?”
Mitch blushed.
“No, I’m serious.  I mean really, you’re so good.”
Mitch, gratified at the impression he’d made, popped the pacifier into his mouth, and bounced up and down on the cushions while making happy baby noises, much to everyone’s delight.  Sarah looked at Elizabeth and winked, and Elizabeth raised her eyebrows slightly in reply.  She hadn’t been expecting such an enthusiastic performance.
“He is,” said Sarah.  “A natural actor, I’d say.”
“Baby Mitch?” said Grace, coming over and sitting down beside him.  “I was planning a party myself in two weeks.  Would you come and be Baby Mitch at my party too?  I’d be ever so grateful…”  And she embraced him warmly, enveloping him in a cloud of sweet perfume, and planted a little soft kiss on the side of his neck, which made him shiver with pleasure.  Without thinking he nodded eagerly in response – for which he got another kiss, this time on his cheek.
“You’re such a sweetie,” cooed Grace.
“Well,” said Patty, “if you’re going to Grace’s party, you’ll have to come to mine too, won’t you?”
“Okay,” returned Mitch, blithely, wallowing in the attention.
“Well, I can see we’re going to have to get you a few more outfits,” said Sarah, seriously.  “Can’t have you turning up to all these parties in the same old duds, can we?”
“Maybe a little pink next time?” suggested Grace.  “Pink is so pretty.”  And she bestowed an extra firm and slightly proprietorial cuddle on the boy at her side, giving him a fleeting pang of doubt – which, however, the pressure of her right breast against his ribs quickly dispelled.

[Sandra B]

5.
Mitch had been seduced by all the adulation, and was enjoying his new role as the centre of attention, which he sought to maintain with amusing baby behaviour and general cavorting.  As the party progressed, the wine flowed, and everyone slowly relaxed, he made himself useful by bringing in snacks and drinks from the kitchen, and receiving caresses and kisses in return.  He was beginning to understand the feminine weakness for babies – especially, it seemed, big, grown-up ones.  The ladies were entranced by his antics.
“He’s just too cute,” whispered Patty, while he was in the kitchen.  I hope this won’t be a one-off.”
“I think he’s actually enjoying himself,” returned Sarah.  “Let’s keep it that way, shall we?  I like him like this!”
So they indulged him to his heart’s content.  Alice was off alcohol, and couldn’t be tempted by even a sip of champagne.
“No, Grace, I’m not going to give in.  I’m the sort of person who crumbles once I’ve had a taste.  It’s all or nothing – so it’s going to be nothing.  Pregnant women and babies are not allowed.”
“Babies?  But surely a big strapping baby like that” – she nodded towards Mitch, who was in the act of proffering a glass to Patty – “could have the tiniest sip?”
“Well,” said Elizabeth, “maybe just a sip…”
So Mitch had a sip.  He coughed and choked a bit, then smiled and feigned drunkenness.  But he had got the taste, and on his next visit to the kitchen he helped himself to another sip…and then another…

It was a couple of hours before the ladies began thinking about supper, by which time Mitch, under the influence of the champagne, had quite lost any remaining inhibitions, and was now of the opinion this was his party, rather than Alice’s.  Between cuddling up to each of them in turn, he ran about proclaiming himself the naughtiest baby there had ever been, jumped on the table and performed a little dance of defiance, demanded they all played “he”, and even at one point threatened, with a hysterical laugh, that “baby Mitch gonna do a big wee in his pull-up”!  This suggestion may have been prompted by the fact he probably did need the toilet, but, rather to the disappointment of the company, it was not at this stage of proceedings acted upon, mainly because he was too busily engaged in showing off.  But his elation was about to be brought to a sudden ending.  There was a ring at the bell, Alice went to answer it, and the sound of voices was heard drifting down the passage.
“Sarah said we could come round later…if that’s all right, Alice.”
“Yeah, auntie Alice, if that’s all right…”
“Oh…it’s the Bradleys,” laughed Sarah.  “I’d forgotten I’d asked them round.  Mitch?  Now you’ll have two little girls to show off to, too.”
But Mitch had frozen in mid-cavort, his happy expression replaced by one of horror, and he was looking around for a place to flee.
“Come in, girls…” he heard.  That was enough.  He sprang to the door, and before they had entered the house he was half-way up the stairs.  He knew Alice’s house a little, and chose her bedroom as the one least likely to be invaded.  It was opposite the upstairs toilet, at which he hesitated, but in view of the imminent danger, he opted to go into hiding without delay.  And before the girls had arrived in the living-room, Mitch was secreted in Alice’s big wardrobe, hiding behind a row of dresses.

Downstairs, greetings having been said, the girls were invited to share supper, and offered preliminary drinks.  After a while Lottie, who had been looking around with a frown on her face, turned to Sarah.
“Where’s…”
“Mitch?  I don’t know, Lottie.  Haven’t seen him since you arrived.  He’s been so hyper today.  Jumping about like a jack-in-the-box, wanting to play games all the time…”
“It’s true,” added Patty.  “Earlier on he jumped up on the table and started dancing!”
“Really?” asked Lettie, a smile spreading over her face.  “So where is he?  Is he still in his baby things?”
“Oh, yes,” laughed Grace, “he loves his baby outfit.  You know what?  I think he’s probably playing hide-and-seek.  He probably wants you two to go find him!”
The girls needed no second bidding.  They jumped up and began to look behind chairs, then they ran in the kitchen, and then out into the garden.  They soon returned, out of breath.
“He’s not out there,” said Lettie.  “Can we search the house, auntie Alice?”
“Of course, girls.  Look carefully.  He’s a cunning little boy, that one.”

Meanwhile, up in the dark, warm, scented wardrobe, Mitch was feeling not at all comfortable.  The champagne was having its effect.  Not only was he feeling a little dizzy and sleepy, but now he really did need the toilet, and was regretting he hadn’t gone earlier.  Everything seemed quiet, so he decided to sneak across the corridor.  He had just opened the bedroom door when he heard the patter of feet on the stairs.  Quickly, and as quietly as he could, he retreated to his hiding-place and slid the wardrobe door shut.  He worked his way as far back into the corner as he could, bitterly regretting his decision to bypass the toilet earlier.  His needs were becoming more urgent every minute.
Ironically, Mitch’s surmise that the sanctity of Alice’s boudoir would be the least susceptible to intrusion proved correct, and it was almost ten minutes before he heard the door gently open and the sound of the girls’ voices – by which time urgency had turned to desperation, and he was biting his lip with the effort of containment.
“He must be in here, then,” whispered Lettie.
“Hadn’t we better ask auntie Alice?” said Lottie, nervously.
“No, she won’t mind, cos she would have said…”
Despite his best efforts Mitch could feel himself beginning to leak into his pull-up.  He gripped the front of his plastic pants, held his breath, and prayed they would go away quickly so he could dash to the toilet.  They seemed to take an age exploring every crevice of the room, until they finally arrived at the wardrobe.  He could hear them murmuring right outside the door.  He kept very still – at least, as still as he could in the circ-umstances.  At least he was well hidden behind the packed row of dresses.  Then the door was slowly slid aside.  Light flooded in.  He hoped against hope they wouldn’t start probing between the hangers, so it was with a surge of relief that he heard Lettie say, “Well, he’s not in here then.  Where can he be?”
The door started to slide shut.  It was half way, when Lottie exclaimed,
“What’s that?  Down there – look!”
Mitch’s relief turned to terror. 
Lettie gave a shout of triumph.  “Bootees!  In auntie Alice’s wardrobe?  I don’t think so!”  The dresses in front of Mitch were thrust apart, and there were the Bradleys, beaming with delight.  They had him fair and square.  The sudden dénoument was too much for poor Mitch.  He had been holding himself in for so long, and the shock of discovery undid it all in an instant.  With a whimper of relief and despair, he lost control, and gave way to the demands of nature.  He flooded his pull-up, the tightly-elasticated plastic pants ballooning with the sudden inundation.  The girls’ mouths fell open with disbelief.  Lottie was the first one to recover.  She ran to the door, threw it open, and shouted at the top of her voice.
“Auntie Alice!  Auntie Alice!  Come quickly!  Baby Mitch is doing a big wee in his nappy!”

[Sandra B]

6.
When Alice and the others came upstairs, the girls were sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to persuade Mitch to come out of the wardrobe.  But Mitch, in his embarrassment, had retreated into the recesses, and pulled the hangers together in front of him. 
“Auntie, Mitch won’t come out.  He’s soaked, but he won’t come out.  What shall we do?” asked Lottie, concerned.  Her sister, on the other hand, was smirking with suppressed delight.
“Don’t worry, darling.  Mitch?  Mitch.  Please come out, dear.  If you’re wet, we just need to get you into a new pull-up.  Mitch!  Speak to me, or I’ll have to come and get you.”
“No!”
“Mitch, darling,” cajoled Sarah, “please come out and get changed.  We’re just about to have supper.  Grace has made a lovely chocolate cake.  Just the sort you like, with white chocolate buttons all over.”
Silence.  Then,
“All right.  But send those two away.”
“Good boy.  Girls, could you please go downstairs?  We’ll be down in a minute.”
“But…” began Lottie.
“Come on Lots.  Let’s go down and have some crisps,” said her sister, taking her by the hand.
“But Lettie…”
“Come on.”  She led Lottie to the door.  “You go down.  I just need to use the loo.  Go on.”

“Have they gone?”
“Yes, they’ve gone.  Now come out,” said Grace.
Mitch slowly, reluctantly, emerged from the forest of dresses.  “I couldn’t help it.  I was hiding from them…”
“Don’t worry, Mitch darling, it’s nothing,” smiled Sarah.  But we’ll have to change you.  Alice, do you have some sort of plastic sheet we can put on the bed?”
Mitch looked alarmed.
“No.  I can change myself.  I…”
“No you can’t, sweetie,” said Elizabeth.  “You need to be cleaned properly.  Don’t worry, we have everything here that we need.  I’ll fetch the changing bag.”
Had Mitch been his usual alert self, there would have been no way he would have caved in to this suggestion.  But he was feeling very sleepy and demoralised, and no longer able to fight.  So he stood there passively, while a plastic sheet was spread on the bed, and his mother got back with the changing bag.  He being technically Alice’s baby, she assumed control.  She popped his pacifier into his mouth, which he accepted without demur.  Then she made him lie down while she pulled off his pants and the heavy, soggy pull-up.  Even the bottom of his vest was wet, so that too was discarded.  Then came the wiping, which was extensive and through, and in which all four ladies assisted.  They were so engrossed, they didn’t see the door open an inch or two, and Lettie’s eye appear in the crack.  She had had no intention of missing what she had hoped was going to follow.  And now her hopes were realised.  She was already recording the spectacle on her phone, and when the now semi-conscious Mitch was rolled onto his back she could hardly believe her luck, or keep her phone still.  Sarah was brandishing the wipes now, working from his navel down to his upper thighs, and paying particular attention to his private parts on the way, wiping his willy with utter disregard for any dignity he had left, by wrapping the wipe and her fingers round it and pulling it through as if it were some sort of flexible nozzle.  She did this several times.  At first it flopped back onto his tummy, but thereafter it began to show an inclination to remain standing, waving about like a reed in the wind.  At this, there was some chuckling from the ladies, and someone expressed the opinion it was time to get a new pull-up on him, “before he starts enjoying it too much”.  So on went the pull-up, followed by a new pair of plastic pants, and in lieu of his vest, Alice found an old pink jumper she used to wear when she was about fourteen, which fitted him as tightly as it must have fitted her.  By this time he was fast asleep, so, removing the soiled items and the plastic sheet, they left him to have a nap.

When they got downstairs, Lettie was sitting innocently eating crisps and watching television with her sister.
“Is he all right, auntie Alice?”
“Yes, he’s fine now.  We’ve left him to sleep for a bit.  Now let’s eat, shall we?”

Over supper, Lettie asked Alice,
“Auntie Alice?  Will Mitch be a baby again?”
“Oh, yes.  It’s been decided.  I’m not sure he realises it, but he’s going to play the baby now whenever we want.”
“Oh.  That’s nice.  He doesn’t mind, then?”
“He seemed to be enjoying himself today,” said Grace.  “And he did agree to come to Patty’s and my parties, didn’t he?  He can’t very well get out of it.”
“Will we get to come to your parties too?”
“Well, maybe.  We’ll have to see.  I’m not sure Mitch will be too happy having you girls there, after today.”
“We’ll think about it, girls,” said Patty.
“But…” began Lottie.
“Shh, Lottie.  They said they’ll think about it,” interrupted her sister.  “Thank you.  We’d like to, of course, but we understand…”
“Good girls,” said Alice.

It was past eight when Mitch emerged, looking rather chagrined, and not at all pleased to see the girls.
“What are they still doing here?”
“Don’t worry.  We’re just about to leave.  Care to show us out, Baby Mitch?”
“I’d be delighted.  And don’t call me baby.”
“Okay, Mitchikins.  Lead the way.  Bye auntie Alice.  Bye Sarah and Patty and Grace and Elizabeth.”
“Bye, girls.”
Mitch opened the front door.  Lottie went out first.  Lettie hung back.
“Well?  Are you going or what?”
“I just wanted to ask you, Baby Mitch.  Would you be our baby too, sometimes?”
“Your baby?”
“Mine and Lottie’s.”
“You’re joking, of course.”
“Ah.  Well, that’s a shame.”
“Is it?”
“Yes.  Cos it means I’ll have to show your friends at St. Luke’s Comp…this!”
She held up her phone.  The video was playing.  Mitch stared.  The colour drained from his face.
“How d-did you…”
“If you change your mind, give us a call.  Auntie Alice has my mum’s number.  Or call around – we live right next door.  You've got till Monday morning.  Bye!”

[Sandra B]

7.
Mitch was very quiet for the rest of the evening.  Everyone else having finished supper, he ate alone, and had an extra-large piece – it couldn’t be called a slice – of Grace’s chocolate cake, which was so delicious it did actually distract him for a moment from the cloud that was hanging over him.
“You like my cake then, Mitch,” said Grace, seeing him breaking off little extra pieces of icing.
“Mm, yes thank you, auntie Grace.  S’amazing…”
“Good.  Take the rest of it home if you like.  And I’ll make another one for my party – and some of those cinnamon buns, if you like.  You are coming, aren’t you?”  She looked at him hopefully.  But she needn’t have worried.  What he may have been dubious about an hour ago was now of little concern.  His thoughts were entirely distracted by the Lettie problem.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.  Thanks for the invite.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!”  She looked at her friends with faint surprise.
“We’ll have to find you a new outfit,” his mother chipped in, seeking to test his commitment.
Sarah frowned slightly and shook her head.  Surely that was a step too far at this stage.  But Mitch was unperturbed.
“Sure.  Whatever, mum.”  Cue mutual unspoken delight amongst the company.  But Mitch was frowning.  “Auntie Alice…?”
“Yes, Mitch?”
“Those girls from next door….”
“Letitia and Charlotte.  Yes?  What about them?”
“Nothin’.  I hadn’t really noticed them before.  Like…what school to they go to, fr’instance?”
“Oh, well, now I think Lettie goes to St. Cecilia’s, and Lottie…Lottie’s in primary, but I think Tabby – that’s her mum – I think she said she’ll be going to your school next year.  Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason,  Just wondered.”
He was trying to work out if there was any substance to Lettie’s threat.  He felt slightly relieved that she went to a school on the opposite side of town.  She wouldn’t even know who his friends were.  Then Alice, perhaps thinking he was developing some romantic interest in Lettie,  offered a further piece of devastating information.
“But I do know that her best friend goes to your school.  She may even be in your year.  What’s her name, now?  Ah yes.  Molly Caulker is it?  Slim girl with dark eyes.”
A shock ran through Mitch’s body.  Molly Caulker.  Yes, she was in his year.  Everybody was slightly frightened of her.  Posh, incredibly clever and confident.  You may not like her, but you didn’t get on her wrong side.  She always had the perfect put-down, delivered with icy ruthlessness.  If she ever got her hands on Lettie's video, what a put-down that would be!
The friends were slightly bemused by Mitch’s reaction.  When they discussed the matter afterwards, they came to the tentative conclusion that he must have a crush on Molly, and that it was conflicting with his feelings about Lettie.  They would have been surprised to know that he presently hated both of them with a passion!

Mitch spent the Sunday in a state of abject anxiety.  But he knew what he had to do, and he didn’t dare wait until Monday morning, just in case Lettie gave in to temptation early.  So late that afternoon he rang the Bradley’s number, (which he had obtained from Alice at the cost of knowing smiles and sickly simperings all round).

“Hello?  Is that Mrs Bradley?  Hello.  My name’s Mitch Langston.  Yes, that’s right.  Yesterday.  Yes.  Oh she did?  Could I possibly…?   Thank you.”  A brief pause.  “Lettie, it’s…  Yes.  It’s about…what you said.  Yes.  Okay, I’ll do it.  Yes, everything.  Yes, course, plastic pants!”  He was getting annoyed already.  “Fine.  No, I can’t bring that.  I can’t!  What am I going to tell them?  Why would I need a changing bag?”  He sighed.  “I see.  So let me get this straight.  You’re going to tell auntie Alice that I’ve agreed to this, you’re going to say you’ll need all the accessories…what, just for effect?  Yes, I know I supposed to be acting, but…   Yes, course she’ll agree!  She’ll think it’s the greatest hoot ever…   No, I do appreciate we couldn’t make it a secret.  Yes, they'll have to know.  Yes, I get it.  You know, if I go along with all this, they’re going to think I have the most massive crush on you, and I’ll do anything you want…   Yes, but that’s not the reason, is it, as we both know!  I’m not shouting!  Right.  When?  Friday?  But I’m supposed to be going out…  No, I’m not reneging.  Yes.  All right!  I’ll be there!  Yes, with everything.  I’ve already said!  Right.  Good bye!!”  And he slammed down the phone.
His mother was in the kitchen with Sarah.  Sarah winked at her and mouthed, “lovers’ quarrel”.