5.
Victoria, 7 February 2022
Dear Jeanette,
I’m sorry I haven’t replied sooner. I’ve been thinking over your very kind offer. It came as quite a surprise, as you probably expected – I really had no idea you would actually – well, offer to audition me. I hadn’t really thought it all through, I suppose. In fact, I only plucked up courage to tell my current girlfriend a couple of days ago. She screamed and hugged me and said I have to go and at least try out. Then, despite my asking her not to, she told my mother, and now both of them are on my back making plans for me.
You see, I’ve realised that dressing up at home and parading in front of an audience – that’s lots and lots of people – are two different things. I really don’t think I’m, well, pretty enough, or confident enough, to go through with such a thing. It was my dream a few months ago, but now I feel it must remain a dream, a fantasy. The girls’ clothes I had then were not very glamorous, and perhaps I was simply seduced by the beautiful things my girlfriend showed me on your website. And I write this even though my breasts have really grown in the last few months - though they’ve not so much filled out as grown longer, like fat little bananas, and the nipples are so sensitive, I have to wear a training bra now are they would drive me crazy rubbing against my shirt. It’s not so bad when they’re squashed up. But my boy parts are just the same, and as uncontrollable as ever. It makes life very difficult, especially as my friends at school are always teasing me about my bra and wanting me to show them what’s inside. Even the kids I babysit are fascinated by my little titties – one in particular, Jaqueline – she’s only eight – keeps asking me about them – like, why do I have them, do they feel nice, can she feel them, why am I blushing, etcetera.
Mummy has bought me a new dress. Before that all I got to wear were some cast of clothes that belonged to my cousin. She’s eighteen now. It’s a classic Alice dress. Yes, old-fashioned, I suppose, but I love it. My first real dress. It’s actually vintage, too, and made of a heavy blue satin. She even bought me an apron to wear with it, and strappy little shoes, like Alice wears in pictures. My panties and stockings I bought all by myself, though. Of course, none of my clothes are as beautiful as your designs. I would have sent you a photo – mummy’s taken enough of them, goodness knows – but I’m afraid you might be disappointed when you saw me. I love those beautiful long evening dresses some of your models wear. That’s what I would really like. To be honest, I was a bit shocked by your mention of the “little girl” look. I could never, never, wear such things, you know. My girlfriend said that next I’d be in baby girl clothes! Can you imagine? That made me very angry, and I shouted at her not to be silly. I’m a big boy of fourteen, did I say? Then mummy chimes up, “Ooh, darling, but you’d make a lovely baby girl”. I hate her sometimes.
So, Jeanette – I don’t know what to say. It all seemed so amazing in my imagination. But I think I’d be a big disappointment to you. I'm sorry.
Donna Mae. Xxx
Topic: A Series of Letters to a Fashion House (Read 6904 times)
