Ask Harriet: Hypnotized!

[Alana]

"Ask Harriet: Hypnotized!" by Alana
 
This is fanfiction about the FOX crossdressing sitcom "Ask Harriet." For those who are not familiar, the show was about a man who impersonates a woman in order to get a job. Jack Cody, an unemployed sports columnist, impersonates Sylvia Coco, in order to become the new advice columnist for the "Ask Harriet" column at the New York Dispatch.
   
Sylvia Coco got talked into attending a little charity do at the Waldorf, and Ron somehow wrangled an invitation, as well as Melissa. It was just walking distance from the New York Dispatch building, so they were told they could go in their work clothes. Sylvia wore his favorite outfit, the sexy tight blue silk dress he wore for the job interview. His first dress.

There was a hypnotist hired as entertainment, calling people up onto the stage and making them do various embarrassing things. Clucking like a chicken and so on. He called Sylvia up there. Sylvia didn't want to go, but Old Man Russell insisted.

When he had him under, he asked the audience, "Now, what shall we have Sylvia do?"

"I know," said Ron. "Make her think she's a man! In fact, you could make her think she's Jack Cody! That would be great! She does a great Jack Cody imitation."

So the hypnotist made Sylvia walk and talk and act like Jack Cody, and everyone got a big laugh out of it. Sylvia couldn't understand why everyone was laughing at him. The hypnotist asked him why he was wearing a dress. Sylvia looked down at the dress he had on, and just about freaked out.

"Ron!" he yelled. "You told them! How could you tell them! I'm gonna kill you!"

Then the hypnotist put Sylvia back under, and told him that he was once again Sylvia Coco, and once again a woman.

Later, as Ron and Sylvia were leaving the building, Ron started to wonder why Sylvia wasn't talking in Jack Cody's voice. He looked around, but there didn't seem to be anyone nearby.

"Jack, why aren't you talking like yourself? There's no one here."

"Jack? Who's Jack?"

"You are. You're Jack Cody. You're a man, you idiot! Remember?"

"What?! What the hell are you talking about? How could you say that to me? That's a terrible thing to say!"
   

[Alana]

"What's the matter with you, Jack?"

"What's the matter with you! Do you think that's funny? This is because of my big hands, isn't it? You know I'm sensitive about my big hands! Shame on you!"
   

[Alana]

"Jack, quit kidding around! You're really starting to scare me."

"Just shut up, Ron! Don't even talk to me!"
   

[Alana]

His eyelids flickered, and he fanned them with his hands.

"Take it easy. Don't get so upset," said Ron.

"Oh, shut up! I'm not going to cry! I wouldn't give you the satisfaction!"
   

[Alana]

He rushed past Ron and into the Ladies Room.

"What the hell is going on?" thought Ron. "Oh, crap! It's that hypnotism! Oh, I can't believe this!"

He took out his phone and started to Google hypnotism.

Melissa was in the Ladies Room, and she could see at once that Sylvia was upset.

"What's wrong, Sylvia?"

"Oh, that Ron! I could kill him! You'll never believe what he said to me! I can't say it! I can't repeat it! Don't ask me to repeat it! Oh, all right, fine, if you insist, I'll repeat it. He called me---he said I was---oh, I can't say it! He said I was---he said I was---a man!"

"What?! He really said that to you? He doesn't really think that, does he?"

"No, he was just making a stupid joke because of my big hands. Oh, that miserable little pipsqueak! I could just strangle that scrawny little neck of his with my bare over-sized man-hands!"
   

[Alana]

"Will you two just do it, already! Enough with the 'When Harry met Sally'!"
 
"What? What are you talking about?"
 
"This is just his own slightly demented way of getting you out of your panties."
   
Sylvia smiled.
 
"You really think that's it? He wants me?"
   

[Alana]

"Well, teasing a girl to get her attention hasn't worked since the sixth grade, but if anyone would try to bring it back, it would be Ron."

"Well, why doesn't he just ask me out like a normal person?"

"Sylvia, look in the mirror and see if you can figure out why he's a little intimidated. For an advice columnist you're a little slow on the uptake, sometimes."



"Yeah, but Ron looks like---you know---like Ron."

"You think you wouldn't be interested in him? I always thought Ron was kind of cute," said Melissa.

"Then why don't you date him?"

"Well, we almost did, once. I think it was his relationship with you that stopped it from happening. You two really should investigate the possibility. From the very beginning there was always some obvious sexual tension between you two. Everyone could see it. You're together almost constantly. Well, I have to leave, Sylvia. Don't let me stop you from using the facilities. Unless you think you'd rather use a urinal!"

"Oh, don't you start! Oh, I forgot to tell you the funniest part. Guess which man Ron accused me of being? Jack Cody!"

"Jack Cody! Like he'd ever put on a dress! That macho idiot!"

"I know, right? But I don't really have to tinkle, Melissa. I just came in here to get away from Ron. Sanctuary!"

"Don't forget, we have that print ad to shoot tomorrow. Wear your sexy little black dress. That should move the product. And don't forget, girl's game night tomorrow evening!"

"OK. Don't tell the girls what Ron said about me. I don't want them making fun of me. It's so humiliating to have someone say that about you, even if it is just a joke."

Melissa agreed, and they left together. Melissa gave Ron the skunk-eye as she passed him, which rattled him. He'd been checking out hypnotism on Google, and it seemed that a post-hypnotic suggestion could only last for 48 hours at the most. About the best thing he could do would be to humor Sylvia in this delusion, and try to protect his secret from being exposed. Ron thought about getting the hypnotist to undo the post-hypnotic suggestion, but he didn't know if the guy could be trusted to keep a secret.

Sylvia came up to him and said, "Ron, darling---"