Ask Harriet: Hypnotized!

[Alana]

"You gave me a key a long time ago. Remember?"

"Well, I'm going to have to ask you to give it back, right now. This is stalker behavior, Ron, and I'm not going to put up with it. I want you out of here right now. Don't make me get a restraining order."

"OK. But can I just ask you some questions, first?"

"No you may not."

"Sylvia, I was just curious about your childhood, that's all. Tell me about when you were a little girl."

"What exactly do you want to know?"

"Well, like what kind of things did you do?"

"Oh, the usual things. Playing softball. Playing hockey."

"Any football?"

"Yes, I think there was some football, but I quit. I figured out the boys were tackling me to get their hands on other things than the ball."

"Any sewing? Any dressmaking?"

"So I was a tomboy. So what?"

"Tell me about high school. Tell me about one dress that you wore to high school. Any dress."

Sylvia laughed and said, "I'm afraid I mostly wore pants in high school. Like I said, I was a tomboy. But I think I've more than made up for it since then."

"Did you go to the prom?"

"Of course."

"Tell me about the gown you wore to the prom."

Sylvia thought, and stared at him blankly.

"Come on, Sylvia, you didn't wear pants to the prom, did you? Tell me about your gown."

Sylvia kept staring at him, then said, "Well, who remembers things like that, anyway?"

"Women."

"What the hell are trying to say?"

"Tell me about your prom date. Some big, strong, handsome guy?"

Sylvia kept trying to remember.

"Tell me about your first date, Sylvia. Your first kiss with a guy."

Sylvia said nothing.

"Tell me about the first time you had your period."

"Stop it! Will you shut up! Why are you asking me this?"

"You know why, Jack."

"My name is not Jack. Don't call me Jack."

But he was sounding less and less sure of himself.

"You were hypnotized, Jack. And the hypnosis is finally wearing off."

"That's crazy."

"You're a man. You're Jack Cody."

Sylvia caught his reflection in the TV screen and stared.

"Could this really be true? Could I really be a man?"
   

[Alana]

"It's true, Jack."

"But I don't want to be a man! I don't want to be the one who has to ask for the dates and always has to pay! Men get to have two pair of shoes, tops!"
   

[Alana]

"We don't always get to be what we want to be in this world, Jack. The world could not accommodate that many ballerinas."

"But I don't know the first thing about being a man! I don't know how to walk like a man, I don't know how to talk like a man, I don't know how to do anything like a man! How could I pass for a man? Look at me! There's nothing the least bit masculine about me! Are these the soft, full lips of a man?"
   

[Alana]

"Jack, go in the bathroom, take off your wig and wash off all that make-up. Get out of your skirt and top and your boots and pantyhose and lingerie, and take a good look at yourself. It will all come back."

"No, I don't want to."

"You have to, Jack. If you're worried that you'll never get to wear another dress, don't worry. You're a man, but you still have to dress like a woman sometimes. It's part of your job."

"But if it's true what you say, if I'm really Jack Cody, how could Jack Cody humiliate himself like this? How could he have so little respect for himself as a man? Why would he do this?"

"Money. Please just trust me, Jack. It's better to know the truth."

He looked at Ron, and then sadly headed toward the bathroom. He looked back and said, "I feel like I'm never going to see you again."

"Of course you will. I'll be right here."

"But it won't be the same, will it?"

"Let's hope not."

Sylvia sadly went into the bathroom. Ron could hear the water running. Nothing else for ten or fifteen minutes. Then he heard the sound of a woman's scream. He almost got up and ran in, but he had some idea what Jack was seeing for the first time in two days. Better to let him go through that himself.

Jack Cody came out in a bathrobe. He cleared his throat a few times.

"Wow," he said. "That was---that was very weird. Even by my standards. Kind of like waking up in a strange room and not being able to remember where you are or how you got there. Only way, way more confusing. It was like Pinocchio, almost."

His voice sounded like Jack Cody's voice.

"Pinocchio?"

"Yeah, except it feels like someone made me into a real girl instead of a real boy."

"I'm thinking it's more like Cinderella. Someone gave you a beautiful gown so you could go to the ball."

"So that would make you my fairy godmother?"

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go with Pinocchio."

Jack sat down and said, "Thank you for being there to help restore me to sanity."

"Well, 'sanity' is kind of a relative term when it comes to you."

"Yeah."

"Do you remember anything from the past two days?"

"That's the worst part. I remember everything. I remember being so sure I was a woman. I even remember being attracted to men."

"Because Sylvia is supposedly attracted to men. You became this fictional character you've created. Listen, your date is still on his way over. You'd better call and tell him it's off."

Jack grabbed his cell phone and hesitated. He stared at it.

"I just learned how to talk like myself, again. If I talk like Sylvia, what if I slip back into it? What if I start thinking I'm a woman again?"



"I don't think that'll happen. If it does, I'll talk you through it."

He phoned Johnny and said, as Sylvia, "Johnny, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel our date, tonight. I have a little family emergency. Actually, I don't think it's a good idea for us to go out. You were asking before if I had a boyfriend? Well, I do. We were fighting, and I thought things were over between us, but I came to my senses. Yes, I'm sorry. These things happen. No, don't call me again, Johnny. Thanks but no thanks. Goodbye."

He rang off, and looked down at himself and said, as Sylvia, "Oh my gosh! What am I doing in a man's bathrobe?"

But Ron wasn't falling for it. He laughed, and Jack laughed.

Jack's phone rang, and he answered it. It was his ex-wife.

"Hello, Valerie."

"Hello, Sylvia. What pretty dress are you wearing tonight?"

"Very funny."

"Jack, guess what? I have a friend who's getting married, and we're suddenly short a bridesmaid. And when I told her I could get Sylvia Coco, well, that was it. Guess what you'll be doing in three weeks?"

"No."

"This is not a request, Jack. I know things about you. You wanted to be a woman, well, this is what women do for each other."

"No."

"I know what you're thinking. Ugly bridesmaid's gown. Well, not this time. This one is actually really pretty. Pink with white lace and ruffles. You're going to look adorable. I'll send you a picture of it."

"Don't make me do this, Valerie."

"You're first fitting is Tuesday afternoon at two. I'll come get you. That is, I'll come get Sylvia. Be ready, Sylvia!"

She rang off, and Jack said, "Damn it!"

"Tell the truth," said Ron. "Are you really upset, or are you just pretending to be?"

Jack looked at the picture and said, "You know, it's actually quite a lovely gown."
   
THE END