Betty Pearl's Sissy Stories 20.1
Sissy Story Archives (older stories) => 2011-2018 Sissy Stories => Topic started by: Alana on February 02, 2017, 03:22:32 PM
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"Ask Harriet: Hypnotized!" by Alana
This is fanfiction about the FOX crossdressing sitcom "Ask Harriet." For those who are not familiar, the show was about a man who impersonates a woman in order to get a job. Jack Cody, an unemployed sports columnist, impersonates Sylvia Coco, in order to become the new advice columnist for the "Ask Harriet" column at the New York Dispatch.
Sylvia Coco got talked into attending a little charity do at the Waldorf, and Ron somehow wrangled an invitation, as well as Melissa. It was just walking distance from the New York Dispatch building, so they were told they could go in their work clothes. Sylvia wore his favorite outfit, the sexy tight blue silk dress he wore for the job interview. His first dress.
There was a hypnotist hired as entertainment, calling people up onto the stage and making them do various embarrassing things. Clucking like a chicken and so on. He called Sylvia up there. Sylvia didn't want to go, but Old Man Russell insisted.
When he had him under, he asked the audience, "Now, what shall we have Sylvia do?"
"I know," said Ron. "Make her think she's a man! In fact, you could make her think she's Jack Cody! That would be great! She does a great Jack Cody imitation."
So the hypnotist made Sylvia walk and talk and act like Jack Cody, and everyone got a big laugh out of it. Sylvia couldn't understand why everyone was laughing at him. The hypnotist asked him why he was wearing a dress. Sylvia looked down at the dress he had on, and just about freaked out.
"Ron!" he yelled. "You told them! How could you tell them! I'm gonna kill you!"
Then the hypnotist put Sylvia back under, and told him that he was once again Sylvia Coco, and once again a woman.
Later, as Ron and Sylvia were leaving the building, Ron started to wonder why Sylvia wasn't talking in Jack Cody's voice. He looked around, but there didn't seem to be anyone nearby.
"Jack, why aren't you talking like yourself? There's no one here."
"Jack? Who's Jack?"
"You are. You're Jack Cody. You're a man, you idiot! Remember?"
"What?! What the hell are you talking about? How could you say that to me? That's a terrible thing to say!"
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"What's the matter with you, Jack?"
"What's the matter with you! Do you think that's funny? This is because of my big hands, isn't it? You know I'm sensitive about my big hands! Shame on you!"
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"Jack, quit kidding around! You're really starting to scare me."
"Just shut up, Ron! Don't even talk to me!"
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His eyelids flickered, and he fanned them with his hands.
"Take it easy. Don't get so upset," said Ron.
"Oh, shut up! I'm not going to cry! I wouldn't give you the satisfaction!"
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He rushed past Ron and into the Ladies Room.
"What the hell is going on?" thought Ron. "Oh, crap! It's that hypnotism! Oh, I can't believe this!"
He took out his phone and started to Google hypnotism.
Melissa was in the Ladies Room, and she could see at once that Sylvia was upset.
"What's wrong, Sylvia?"
"Oh, that Ron! I could kill him! You'll never believe what he said to me! I can't say it! I can't repeat it! Don't ask me to repeat it! Oh, all right, fine, if you insist, I'll repeat it. He called me---he said I was---oh, I can't say it! He said I was---he said I was---a man!"
"What?! He really said that to you? He doesn't really think that, does he?"
"No, he was just making a stupid joke because of my big hands. Oh, that miserable little pipsqueak! I could just strangle that scrawny little neck of his with my bare over-sized man-hands!"
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"Will you two just do it, already! Enough with the 'When Harry met Sally'!"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"This is just his own slightly demented way of getting you out of your panties."
Sylvia smiled.
"You really think that's it? He wants me?"
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"Well, teasing a girl to get her attention hasn't worked since the sixth grade, but if anyone would try to bring it back, it would be Ron."
"Well, why doesn't he just ask me out like a normal person?"
"Sylvia, look in the mirror and see if you can figure out why he's a little intimidated. For an advice columnist you're a little slow on the uptake, sometimes."
"Yeah, but Ron looks like---you know---like Ron."
"You think you wouldn't be interested in him? I always thought Ron was kind of cute," said Melissa.
"Then why don't you date him?"
"Well, we almost did, once. I think it was his relationship with you that stopped it from happening. You two really should investigate the possibility. From the very beginning there was always some obvious sexual tension between you two. Everyone could see it. You're together almost constantly. Well, I have to leave, Sylvia. Don't let me stop you from using the facilities. Unless you think you'd rather use a urinal!"
"Oh, don't you start! Oh, I forgot to tell you the funniest part. Guess which man Ron accused me of being? Jack Cody!"
"Jack Cody! Like he'd ever put on a dress! That macho idiot!"
"I know, right? But I don't really have to tinkle, Melissa. I just came in here to get away from Ron. Sanctuary!"
"Don't forget, we have that print ad to shoot tomorrow. Wear your sexy little black dress. That should move the product. And don't forget, girl's game night tomorrow evening!"
"OK. Don't tell the girls what Ron said about me. I don't want them making fun of me. It's so humiliating to have someone say that about you, even if it is just a joke."
Melissa agreed, and they left together. Melissa gave Ron the skunk-eye as she passed him, which rattled him. He'd been checking out hypnotism on Google, and it seemed that a post-hypnotic suggestion could only last for 48 hours at the most. About the best thing he could do would be to humor Sylvia in this delusion, and try to protect his secret from being exposed. Ron thought about getting the hypnotist to undo the post-hypnotic suggestion, but he didn't know if the guy could be trusted to keep a secret.
Sylvia came up to him and said, "Ron, darling---"
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"Darling!" said Ron in surprise.
"I really think it's time we rethought the whole 'just friends' thing."
And Sylvia gave Ron a smile so luscious and beautiful that Ron could've kissed him right there, if only Sylvia was an actual woman.
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"Sylvia, please---"
"I am angry about what you said to me, but I realize now it was just your own strange way of flirting. And I really do think there's a chance I might feel the same way you do."
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"Sylvia, let's not talk about this now."
Sylvia gave Ron a seriously romantic look, and said, "One kiss? Just to see?"
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Ron was so shocked he couldn't say anything. Sylvia puckered up and came closer.
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"Sylvia, we are friends! Just friends! That's it! I'm not interested in you that way!"
Dumbfounded, Sylvia stared at Ron and said, "Ron, women who look like me don't get rejected by men who look like you. And men who look like you don't get to reject women who look like me. That's not how the world works! What did I ever do to you, for you to treat me this way? It makes no sense!"
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"Please don't get hysterical, Sylvia."
"Oh, leave me alone! If you don't want me, I don't want you!"
He strode away as fast as his high heels could take him. Ron followed him out of the building.
"Where are you going?" asked Ron.
"Back to the Dispatch. I have some work to do. Leave me alone."
Ron grabbed him by the arm, and almost lost his grip because of the silky dress Sylvia was wearing.
"Let me go!"
"I just want to tell you, tonight, when you take off your girdle you might see something you weren't expecting to see. I want you to promise you'll call me if that happens. Me and no one else."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Now let me go!"
Sylvia shook him off and headed into the New York Dispatch building. Ron treated himself to the sight of him walking into the lobby. Ron knew he should be a gentleman and help Sylvia with the door, but he enjoyed seeing Sylvia struggle with the door in his sexy, tight dress. Ron didn't know which was more attractive, his pretty legs in nylons or his cute little butt in that clingy dress. It was one of those times, and there were many, when Ron just couldn't believe there was a man in that dress.
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"Well, the rest of the world thinks he's a woman, and now he does, too. Maybe I'm the one who's crazy."
If Sylvia were to make the discovery tonight that he's a man, hopefully it would all be over then. If not, Ron would just have to make sure that Sylvia's secret wasn't discovered. Sylvia had had electrolysis a long time ago, so shaving wouldn't be a problem, but Ron would have to be sure that Sylvia didn't take off his dress and lingerie and pantyhose in front of anyone else. It would be the end of Sylvia Coco's lucrative career if it got out that he's a man. Perhaps his readers might forgive him, though that was doubtful, but Old Man Russell would not be happy about being so attracted to someone who turned out to be a man. He would fire Sylvia, and probably sue him as well.
Ron took out his cell phone and called up Valerie, Jack Cody's ex-wife, to ask if she'd take custody of Blair, Jack's daughter, for the next two days. Valerie knew all about Jack's secret identity.
"Jack just has something he needs to do for the next two days."
"And I take it he'll be wearing pantyhose when he does it."
"Watch what you're saying, Valerie! Blair might hear you."
"Oh, don't worry about Blair. She's spending the night at a friend's place. Can't you talk Jack out of wearing dresses, Ron? You're the one who talked him into it. This not a healthy lifestyle."
"But he looks so beautiful as a woman!"
"Not healthy, Ron. Not healthy. I can't believe this is the same guy who wouldn't hold on to my purse for five minutes at the mall. And now he has one of his own. What the hell happened to him?"
"He's making too much money to quit, Valerie. Successful women don't quit."
"Even if they're men?"
"You can think of it as having an ex-husband who's secretly a superhero!"
"Swell. Except instead of fighting crime he's fighting to keep his slip from showing. Yeah, that's exactly the same."
"Please just tell me you'll take custody of Blair for two days."
"Why can't he ask me himself? What's he doing?"
"He'll tell you later."
"Oh come on, Ron! What possible secrets could he still have from me at this point? I know he wears dresses, for crying out loud!"
"Please. It's only two days, Valerie. He might even be done early."
"Oh, all right, but I'm stretched pretty thin right now, Ron. A friend is getting married, and we've just had a bridesmaid cancel at the last minute. But I guess Blair can stay with me, if it's only a few days. I don't know why I ever thought Jack would become more reliable, just because he wears lipstick and pantyhose now. I swear, I don't know why I ever married that woman!"
Valerie rang off, and Ron went home to his apartment.
When Sylvia got home that evening, he took off his dress and stepped out of his high heels, and when he took off his girdle, pantyhose, and panties he didn't see anything male. He saw only what his mind told him to see.
The next day Sylvia showed up in his tight little black coc-ktail dress for the print ad. It was on a set meant to look like a living room. Melissa was there, and Johnny the photographer was just setting up. The ad was supposed to be for a restaurant somewhere in Midtown.
Sylvia asked, "So what's the name of this joint we're plugging?"
"The Joint," said Melissa.
"Yeah, what's the name of the joint we're plugging in this ad?"
"The joint is called 'The Joint'," said Melissa, handing a prop menu to Sylvia.
"Oh, 'The Joint'! I see. Sorry for being dense. I can be such a silly girl, sometimes!"
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"Don't worry about it, Sylvia."
"Listen, if Ron shows up I don't want him here. He's banned from the set. Understand? I don't want him around. He's dead to me."
"Oh, Sylvia! Are you and Ron still fighting? I hate to see that. No one is ever so rich they can afford to throw away a friend. The one thing you can't get is new old friends."
"Well, you are my newest friend, Melissa, and I treasure your friendship more than any other, and that includes my friendship with Ron."
"Oh, thank you, Sylvia! I'm so glad I met you! I bless the day you first came in my office looking for work. You've really been an inspiration to me, and to all women."
"Oh, come here, Melissa!" He took Melissa into his arms for a hug.
The hypnotized Sylvia had no idea that he was hugging the woman who had fired him, and that he'd only ever started wearing dresses and high heels in the first place to get back at her.
"OK now, break it up you two," said Johnny the photographer. "Much as I like to see a little girl on girl action, we have an ad to shoot. Sylvia, I need you over here on the couch. Take the newspaper and pose on the couch, and try and find a really sexy pose."
"What did you have in mind?" asked Sylvia in a flirty way.
"Oh, I would never think of trying to tell you what's sexy," he said. "Surprise me."
So Sylvia posed with his legs in the air, displaying the newspaper with the ad.
Melissa said, "If that doesn't get their attention, their attention can't be had."
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After the photographer had enough photos, he approached Sylvia, who was sitting on the couch adjusting his skirt.
"There are some days I like my job more than others," he said. "Today was a very good day. You're a knockout, Sylvia, you know that? You're beautiful."
"Why thank you!" said Sylvia. "You're not so bad yourself!"
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"Listen, I know you've probably got a boyfriend and there's no point in asking you this, but all this talk of restaurants has made me hungry. I don't suppose---"
"Don't say another word, Johnny! I'd love to go out with you! You're a dreamboat!"
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"Wow! That was easy. Thanks for making it so easy, Sylvia. I was nervous, there."
"Well, I always feel so sorry for you men, having to make to make the first move and ask for the date, AND having to pay! When it comes to romance it seems like you men just have to do everything. I always try to make it easy for you if I can."
"Does that mean you're going to pay, too?"
"I'm not making it THAT easy."
"Can if pick you up tonight at seven?"
"Better make it tomorrow night. Tonight is girl's game night. I'm not missing that."
After exchanging information they said goodbye at the door, with a little more flirting involved, and as soon as Johnny was gone, Melissa said in a little sing-song voice, "Sylvia got a boyfriend! Sylvia's got a boyfriend!"
"Oh, Melissa! You!"
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"I'm glad to see you're finally not being so choosy. At last you're saying yes to a date. You know, I think it was having the fight with Ron that made you actually open up to some of the romantic possibilities out there. You just had all these unresolved feelings for Ron, you didn't know if you two were friends or lovers. Finally you're getting it straightened out. Listen, we wouldn't mind if you'd cancelled on us tonight."
"Cancel girl's game night just for a date! I would never do that to my girlfriends. Besides, you don't want to look too desperate. Listen, if there some place around here I can change? I don't want to wear a coc-ktail dress during the day."
Melissa directed him to a dressing room, where he changed into a grey skirt and velvet top he'd brought.
The rest of the day at the office Ron kept trying to get his attention, and Sylvia very disdainfully ignored him. Ron would call out Sylvia's name, and Sylvia didn't respond and walked away with his nose in the air. But it always seemed to Ron that it was always a very sexy walk, just to taunt Ron with what he couldn't have.
That evening he arrived at Melissa's apartment for game night wearing his velvet top and grey skirt. Along with Melissa, there was Janet and Joplin from work.
Melissa said, "Sylvia, I keep telling you, you don't have to wear a tight skirt and heels for game night! Wear something comfortable, like we are."
"I'm more comfortable in a skirt," said Sylvia. "There are already enough things that men get to do that we don't. Why should we give up one of the few things we get to do that men don't?"
"Sylvia, there aren't men here for you to impress," said Melissa. "This is a man-free zone. Just us girls."
"Oh, please! Like any man is going to be turned on by this outfit just because I wear a skirt! There are all these levels of sexiness, you know, and if most of my dresses are up here, this outfit is way down here."
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Melissa said, "OK, fine, you've convinced us, Sylvia. You're ugly. You're hideously ugly and no man would ever be turned on by you."
He said to Joplin, "I'm lucky to have a friend like her. Let's sit down, girls. I'm wearing heels."
They sat on the couch, but Sylvia never took his heels off. The games were on the coffee table in front of them.
"Speaking of picking out an outfit," said Melissa, "Sylvia's got a boyfriend! Sylvia's got a boyfriend!"
"Melissa, I have one date! We're not picking out curtains just yet!"
"You'd better call and tell me all about it, Sylvia, no matter how late it is! If you don't call as soon as you get home, you're not much of a friend!"
"IF I get home!" said Sylvia with a little bit of mischief in his eyes.
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Joplin asked who the guy was, and Sylvia said it was Johnny, the photographer who shot the print ad.
Joplin said, "Oh, I've seen him. He's cute! What are you wearing on your date, Sylvia?"
"Oh, I thought I'd go shopping tomorrow, if that's OK with you, boss. I need something girly to wear. I don't have enough girly dresses. I saw a beautiful floral chiffon dress in the window that I'm dying to try on."
Melissa said, "Oh come on, you don't want to wear something girly your first date. Wear something sexy. Wear that black leather miniskirt of yours."
"Are you sure? I don't want to scare him away on the first date."
"He fell in love with you when you were in that sexy black coc-ktail dress. If that doesn't scare him, nothing will."
Joplin said, "She should wear that blue silk dress she wore to the charity do. I love that dress!"
"But I just wore it yesterday!"
"So? He doesn't know. He didn't see you."
"But what if I run into someone I know? Oh, poor Sylvia, she only has one dress."
Melissa said, "You should wear that black lace top you have, Sylvia. That'll knock his eyes out."
Sylvia, not having any idea that he was a man, happily spent over an hour talking about his tops, skirt, and dresses, not only the ones he wore but the ones he had his eye on, and the ones he looking all over for, and what looked good on him and what didn't, and whether blue was his color or red was his color. Then one of them mentioned make-up, so they started talking about that. Then they started talking about their cycles. Then they started talking about guys.
Sylvia said, "Listen, if you ever want to date Ron, it's OK with me, Melissa. He'd dead to me."
"Oh, Sylvia, I hate to hear you talk that way! You should patch things up with Ron. If he wants to be just friends with you, you should respect that! You're so beautiful, I know you're used to getting any man you want, but sometimes even you have to let one get away."
"Oh, Melissa! I'm not---I'm not really that beautiful, you know."
"Yeah, I know you have to say that so we won't hate you. But---come on!"
The girls laughed, and Sylvia laughed, too.
Melissa yawned and asked, "What time is it?"
Joplin looked at a clock and said it was one in the morning.
"Oh crap!" said Melissa. "Pardon my French. I can't believe this happened again! How long have we been talking? And we never got to one game! This is the eighth time in a row! Why do we keep doing this? Don't ever tell anyone about this, girls, especially not a man. This is just the thing men would make fun of me for."
"Oh, the hell with them!" said Sylvia. "Why should we be ashamed of talking, just because men don't do it? Can you imagine four women sitting around watching a football game and none of them saying anything? If we want to get together and talk, we will get together and talk, and screw what any man thinks of it! We will not be defined by them!"
Joplin said, "Maybe we should stop calling it game night."
"We can call it whatever we want," said Sylvia.
So game night broke up and they all went their separate ways. Sylvia went home to his apartment. He sat and crossed his legs, and a contented smile came over his face as he thought of the night. He loved getting together with the girls, without any men around to get in the way.
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He was in such a good mood, he was even feeling charitable towards Ron. He thought that maybe Melissa was right, and he should patch things up with Ron. He even thought that maybe he should've told the girls that thing that Ron said, that joke about Sylvia being a man. They'd all get a good laugh about it. He should've trusted them not to make fun.
A man. Insulting as it was, the very idea was so ridiculous that he felt silly being mad about it. He'd never thought about it before, but he was so glad he was a woman. He loved the feel of lipstick on his lips and nylons on his legs. He loved buying a new dress and twirling in it. Of course, he sometimes had the urge to do some things that might be considered a little masculine, like going to the fights or smoking a cigar. But there was no reason a woman couldn't do those things. And there were so many things men weren't allowed to do. Wearing dresses wasn't the half of it. Melissa had said she was only hiring a woman to write the "Ask Harriet" column, and there was no problem with saying that. If anyone were to say they were only hiring men for a job, it had better be working in a Men's locker room.
Of course there were things about being a woman that were less than pleasant. That reminded him, he had to get some new tampons. He didn't have a single tampon in his purse.
He wondered what had become of Jack Cody. They lived together, and he hadn't been seen for more than a day. He was usually unreliable, but not this unreliable. He hadn't moved out. All his clothes were still there. Oh well, he'd show up eventually.
The next day, Sylvia came up to Ron, who was just standing around finishing his coffee. Sylvia wore his dark blue dress cut tight across the bosom. It had a teardrop shaped cutout at the neck. He was clutching his purse and had his coat draped across his arm.
"Ron, we need to talk," he said.
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"Oh hi, Sylvia. So you're not ignoring me today? Nice dress."
He looked down at the dress he was wearing and said, "Never mind that. I want to put an end to this silly fight we've been having. I was being immature. I shouldn't behave like this. I'm a grown woman."
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"Well, you're half-right, anyway."
"What?"
"Never mind. Continue."
"If you want to be just friends, I should respect that. Really, the only reason I ever made the offer in the first place is because I thought it was what you wanted."
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A beautiful woman, a real one, walked by, and Ron's attention wandered a little bit.
"Ron, would you please be so kind as to not stare at other women when we're having a conversation?"
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"I thought you wanted to be just friends?"
"That doesn't mean you have to be rude. Besides, she's nothing much. If you have to stare, at least stare at a woman who's prettier than I am. What has she got that I haven't got?"
"It's more what you've got that she doesn't that concerns me."
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"What does that mean?"
"Nothing. You never believe me anyway, so forget it. Wanna do something tonight? Just as friends?"
"I can't tonight. I've got a date."
"A date?"
"With Johnny the photographer. From the print ad."
"But you can't have a date!"
"You are just full of compliments today, aren't you?"
"Sylvia, I'm not kidding, you have to call and cancel your date! At least move it to some other time!"
"Oh, so now I'm taking orders from you, am I? So you won't have me but no one else gets to have me, is that it?"
"At least promise me you're not going to try to have sex on the first date."
"In what world, in what universe is that any of your business, Ron? You know, I've tried to give you a chance, but you are being just a mean little creep! Why are you so set against this date?"
"Because you're a man!" he whispered desperately. "You won't believe me, but I swear it's true!"
"Alright, that's it! I know you think that's just a cute little joke, but I swore I would never speak to you if you said that to me again, and that is it! I have had it with you, Ron! Goodbye!"
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He walked away angrily, tugging down his skirt as he went. Ron called after him, but he wouldn't stop or even look back.
That evening, Sylvia went back to his apartment and got dressed for his date. He didn't wear his black lace top, just a regular low-cut top, but he did put on his sexy black miniskirt. When he came out of his bedroom he was rather surprised to see Ron sitting there, waiting for him.
"What are you doing here? How did you get in here?"
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"You gave me a key a long time ago. Remember?"
"Well, I'm going to have to ask you to give it back, right now. This is stalker behavior, Ron, and I'm not going to put up with it. I want you out of here right now. Don't make me get a restraining order."
"OK. But can I just ask you some questions, first?"
"No you may not."
"Sylvia, I was just curious about your childhood, that's all. Tell me about when you were a little girl."
"What exactly do you want to know?"
"Well, like what kind of things did you do?"
"Oh, the usual things. Playing softball. Playing hockey."
"Any football?"
"Yes, I think there was some football, but I quit. I figured out the boys were tackling me to get their hands on other things than the ball."
"Any sewing? Any dressmaking?"
"So I was a tomboy. So what?"
"Tell me about high school. Tell me about one dress that you wore to high school. Any dress."
Sylvia laughed and said, "I'm afraid I mostly wore pants in high school. Like I said, I was a tomboy. But I think I've more than made up for it since then."
"Did you go to the prom?"
"Of course."
"Tell me about the gown you wore to the prom."
Sylvia thought, and stared at him blankly.
"Come on, Sylvia, you didn't wear pants to the prom, did you? Tell me about your gown."
Sylvia kept staring at him, then said, "Well, who remembers things like that, anyway?"
"Women."
"What the hell are trying to say?"
"Tell me about your prom date. Some big, strong, handsome guy?"
Sylvia kept trying to remember.
"Tell me about your first date, Sylvia. Your first kiss with a guy."
Sylvia said nothing.
"Tell me about the first time you had your period."
"Stop it! Will you shut up! Why are you asking me this?"
"You know why, Jack."
"My name is not Jack. Don't call me Jack."
But he was sounding less and less sure of himself.
"You were hypnotized, Jack. And the hypnosis is finally wearing off."
"That's crazy."
"You're a man. You're Jack Cody."
Sylvia caught his reflection in the TV screen and stared.
"Could this really be true? Could I really be a man?"
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"It's true, Jack."
"But I don't want to be a man! I don't want to be the one who has to ask for the dates and always has to pay! Men get to have two pair of shoes, tops!"
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"We don't always get to be what we want to be in this world, Jack. The world could not accommodate that many ballerinas."
"But I don't know the first thing about being a man! I don't know how to walk like a man, I don't know how to talk like a man, I don't know how to do anything like a man! How could I pass for a man? Look at me! There's nothing the least bit masculine about me! Are these the soft, full lips of a man?"
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"Jack, go in the bathroom, take off your wig and wash off all that make-up. Get out of your skirt and top and your boots and pantyhose and lingerie, and take a good look at yourself. It will all come back."
"No, I don't want to."
"You have to, Jack. If you're worried that you'll never get to wear another dress, don't worry. You're a man, but you still have to dress like a woman sometimes. It's part of your job."
"But if it's true what you say, if I'm really Jack Cody, how could Jack Cody humiliate himself like this? How could he have so little respect for himself as a man? Why would he do this?"
"Money. Please just trust me, Jack. It's better to know the truth."
He looked at Ron, and then sadly headed toward the bathroom. He looked back and said, "I feel like I'm never going to see you again."
"Of course you will. I'll be right here."
"But it won't be the same, will it?"
"Let's hope not."
Sylvia sadly went into the bathroom. Ron could hear the water running. Nothing else for ten or fifteen minutes. Then he heard the sound of a woman's scream. He almost got up and ran in, but he had some idea what Jack was seeing for the first time in two days. Better to let him go through that himself.
Jack Cody came out in a bathrobe. He cleared his throat a few times.
"Wow," he said. "That was---that was very weird. Even by my standards. Kind of like waking up in a strange room and not being able to remember where you are or how you got there. Only way, way more confusing. It was like Pinocchio, almost."
His voice sounded like Jack Cody's voice.
"Pinocchio?"
"Yeah, except it feels like someone made me into a real girl instead of a real boy."
"I'm thinking it's more like Cinderella. Someone gave you a beautiful gown so you could go to the ball."
"So that would make you my fairy godmother?"
"Yeah, you're right. Let's go with Pinocchio."
Jack sat down and said, "Thank you for being there to help restore me to sanity."
"Well, 'sanity' is kind of a relative term when it comes to you."
"Yeah."
"Do you remember anything from the past two days?"
"That's the worst part. I remember everything. I remember being so sure I was a woman. I even remember being attracted to men."
"Because Sylvia is supposedly attracted to men. You became this fictional character you've created. Listen, your date is still on his way over. You'd better call and tell him it's off."
Jack grabbed his cell phone and hesitated. He stared at it.
"I just learned how to talk like myself, again. If I talk like Sylvia, what if I slip back into it? What if I start thinking I'm a woman again?"
"I don't think that'll happen. If it does, I'll talk you through it."
He phoned Johnny and said, as Sylvia, "Johnny, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel our date, tonight. I have a little family emergency. Actually, I don't think it's a good idea for us to go out. You were asking before if I had a boyfriend? Well, I do. We were fighting, and I thought things were over between us, but I came to my senses. Yes, I'm sorry. These things happen. No, don't call me again, Johnny. Thanks but no thanks. Goodbye."
He rang off, and looked down at himself and said, as Sylvia, "Oh my gosh! What am I doing in a man's bathrobe?"
But Ron wasn't falling for it. He laughed, and Jack laughed.
Jack's phone rang, and he answered it. It was his ex-wife.
"Hello, Valerie."
"Hello, Sylvia. What pretty dress are you wearing tonight?"
"Very funny."
"Jack, guess what? I have a friend who's getting married, and we're suddenly short a bridesmaid. And when I told her I could get Sylvia Coco, well, that was it. Guess what you'll be doing in three weeks?"
"No."
"This is not a request, Jack. I know things about you. You wanted to be a woman, well, this is what women do for each other."
"No."
"I know what you're thinking. Ugly bridesmaid's gown. Well, not this time. This one is actually really pretty. Pink with white lace and ruffles. You're going to look adorable. I'll send you a picture of it."
"Don't make me do this, Valerie."
"You're first fitting is Tuesday afternoon at two. I'll come get you. That is, I'll come get Sylvia. Be ready, Sylvia!"
She rang off, and Jack said, "Damn it!"
"Tell the truth," said Ron. "Are you really upset, or are you just pretending to be?"
Jack looked at the picture and said, "You know, it's actually quite a lovely gown."
THE END