Betty Pearl's Sissy Stories 20.1
Sissy Story Archives (older stories) => 2011-2018 Sissy Stories => Topic started by: Alana on February 06, 2017, 02:11:59 PM
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Honorary Woman
By Alana
The tiny town of Endover California boasted no more than a few hundred residents. Norman Jones and his wife Mary moved there when Norman got a job as a town clerk. He worked in a drafty, cramped office in city hall with six other men and women.
He discovered there was an annual event in town called a “womanless beauty pageant,” which was pretty much what it sounded like. Only married men could compete. The men dressed as women and flounced around the stage in evening gowns. It was considered to be all in good fun, and all for charity. Norman didn’t really want to have anything to do with the thing, but he was pressured into it.
Norman didn’t do things by halves. If he was going to be in the pageant, he was going to win. He shaved his entire body, and Mary helped him with his make-up. He bought a new evening gown for the competition, and a wig. When he got there, he discovered that he was the only one there who was even trying. The other men hadn’t shaved their legs, and some of them didn’t even bothered to shave their beards. He won easily.
At the close of the ceremony, with a great deal of pomp and circ-umstance, they gave him a plague declaring him an “honorary woman.” The plaque guaranteed him “all rights and privileges granted to any other woman, including the right to wear dresses or skirts whenever and wherever desired, and the right to use the ladies room whenever so attired.” For a period of one year from the present day.
It was considered a big joke and lots of fun, but Norman came alive on stage as a woman in a way he could not have predicted. He loved wearing an evening gown and being a woman. He loved all the attention. Backstage, he asked his fellow contestants if any man had ever actually made use of the title.
“What do you mean?”
“You know. I mean, showing up somewhere in a dress.”
“Yeah, I guess that happens sometimes. Just as a joke, you know, an honorary woman will show up at a party in his wife’s dress. Not very often, though. Mostly people just forget about it.”
So the next morning, without even asking, he put on his wife’s lingerie and her orange floral dress with the little bow at the collar.
“Wow. So you’re really doing this, huh?” she said.
“Why not? I’m a woman.”
“Honorary woman. Well, I guess you might as well do it for one day and get it out of your system. Take good care of my dress. Don’t spill anything on it.”
He took the plaque with him, which he intended to set up in his cubicle for all to see.
Mrs. Lettinger, a divorced woman in her fifties, ran the office. She was the first to see him. He said hello.
“Hello, Norman. Or I guess we should call you Norma. Anything but normal, I guess. I see you’ve decided to exercise your rights as an honorary woman.”
“That’s correct. Like my dress?
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“Very pretty. I think I saw your wife in that dress a few weeks ago. Listen Norman, fun is fun, and I’m the first person to have fun, but we do have regulations, here. Men are required to wear suits and ties. Have fun for a day, but don’t get used to being a woman. And don’t peek at anything you shouldn’t in the ladies room.”
Norman didn’t like being told what to do, so the first thing he did was check the regulations.
The women all got a kick out of him, and they giggled whenever they saw him. The men just looked away, embarrassed.
When he took a corner too fast, he lost one of his high heels off his foot. He reached down to replace his shoe, and one of the women saw him. She giggled.
“See? Not so easy being a woman, is it?”
He glanced up and smiled at her.
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“I never said it was easy,” he said. “But it is so worth it.”
He fixed his shoe, and as he straightened up he allowed his hand to slowly glide up his nylon-covered leg. It felt delicious.
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That evening he ate dinner, still wearing a dress. His wife asked him when he intended to take it off.
“No hurry,” he said.
He didn’t take off the dress until bedtime, at which point he asked his wife if he could wear one of her nightgowns to bed.
“Oh come on, Norm! Hasn’t this gone on long enough?”
“I’m a woman. I refer you to my plaque.”
The next day he surprised her by starting to put on her lingerie again.
“What is this? Again? Come on! The ‘honorary woman’ thing is just a joke! No one does it all the time!”
“I’m a woman.”
“Seriously, how long do you intend to do this?”
“The plaque said I’m a woman for a year. At which point there will be another pageant and hopefully I can win again.”
He picked out her red dress and put it on.
“Not my favorite dress! Norm, I don’t know what you think you’re trying to prove, but if you’re going to wear dresses you can’t wear mine. Go out and buy your own.”
“OK. That’s fair.”
“Lingerie, too. And make-up.”
“OK.”
He grabbed a purse and was out the door, before she could insist he take off the dress he was wearing.
Mrs. Lettinger saw him in his wife’s red dress walking through the drafty hallway outside the office. A little breeze ruffled his skirt. He held it down, looking very pleased with himself.
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“Norman! What did I tell you yesterday?”
“It’s Norma, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, knock it off! I told you what the regulations say about proper attire.”
“Not quite. I looked up the regs. What they say is that workers are to come to work wearing either a suit and tie, or a skirt or dress. I’m wearing a dress.”
“That obviously means that men are---“
“That might be what it means, but that’s not what it says. It gives the worker a choice.”
“How long are you going to---“
“For as long as I’m an honorary woman.”
“But that’s a whole year! You can’t come to work in dresses for a whole year!”
“I refer you to my plaque. ‘The right to wear dresses or skirts whenever and wherever desired.’”
“That’s just a silly joke!”
“It’s a plaque with my name on it, and the name of the town. Looks pretty official to me. If you think you can fire a woman just for wearing a dress, you’re welcome to try.”
“You’re just an honorary woman.”
“When it comes to wearing dresses, it’s the same thing. If you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
“Oh, all right! But if you’ve got to wear a dress, stop playing with your skirt like a little girl. If you can’t behave like a man, at least behave like a grown-up!”
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“Sorry,” he said. “I can’t help myself. This dress feels so sexy on my body.”
The ladies laughed and giggled when they saw him, though they seemed rather surprised to see him in a dress again. Some of them asked him how long he intended to keep wearing dresses to work. He repeated his answer from before.
“For as long as I’m an honorary woman.”
This occasioned no end of surprise and gossip among the ladies.
Near the end of the day, a woman in a rather plain brown dress was trying to get a large box of folders off a top shelf. The only thing she had to stand on was an unsteady stool. Norman offered to help her, putting one foot on the stool, preparing himself to stand on it and get the folders.
“Norman, no! At least take off your high heels! You’ll fall and break your neck!”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll be fine.”
“Norm, don’t do it! I’m sure a man will be along soon to help us.”
She quickly put her hand to her mouth, realizing what she’d said. But Norman didn’t seem at all offended. If anything, he seemed complimented.
“Look,” he said, “we women can’t buy into this whole princess stereotype that says we’re incapable of the simplest tasks just because we wear high heels. Any one of us can do anything in high heels and a dress that a man can do in trousers and wingtips. Just watch and see if I can’t.”
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He climbed onto the stool and, balancing in his high heels, reached up and managed to get the box of folders down from the shelf without losing his balance. He handed them to her triumphantly.
“And by the way,” he said, “It’s Norma.”
That evening, Mrs. Lettinger drove out to Norman’s place to see him and his wife, just after dinner. She knocked at the door and apologized for intruding.
“Come in, Jane,” said Mary.
Mrs. Lettinger sat down. She had changed into slacks after work. Mary also wore slacks.
“Is Norman here?”
“No. He went out to the dress shop to buy himself some new dresses.”
“He what? You make it sound like there’s nothing wrong with that statement. Your husband is buying dresses to wear to work, and you have absolutely no problem with that?”
“Of course I have a problem with it, but what am I supposed to do?”
“You can do what women have done since the time of Lysistrata. You can deny him sex.”
“Oh, sure,” she said. “Yes, of course. I mean, I’m doing that already.”
But she wasn’t. She was very sexual, and not at all proud of the fact. She didn’t think it was very ladylike. The plain fact of the matter was that she was a woman who had to have sex every night, and she was lucky she had found a man who could keep up with her. Even if he did wear dresses.
“Mary, do you mind me you asking some things about Norman?”
“I suppose not.”
“Has he worn dresses before this?”
“I don’t think so. If he has, he’s done a good job of keeping it secret.”
“How about when he was a little girl? Uh---boy?”
“Definitely not. His mother told me everything about his childhood. The more embarrassing the detail, the more she loved to tell me. I can’t see her keeping a thing like that to herself.”
“Then why the hell is he doing this?”
“I don’t know. Well, for one thing, he can never see an opportunity go to waste. Give him a coupon and he’ll make sure to use it, even if it’s for something he has no use for. Tell him he’s allowed to do something that no other man in town is allowed to do, and he’s going to take full advantage. Plus he’s the kind of guy who loves to annoy and embarrass people. He gets bored sometimes and just has to upset the applecart for his own amusement. He’s a tummler. He loves to create a tumult. My best advice is to ignore him and stop giving him attention. Maybe he’ll stop.”
“Haven’t you thought that he might need professional help?”
“My ears are burning!” said Norman, coming into the room in his brand new sleeveless lavender floral dress. He leaned against the table and asked the ladies how they liked his new dress.
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“Very pretty,” said Mary. Mrs. Lettinger just sniffed.
“Norman, mind if I ask you a few questions?” ventured Mrs. Lettinger.
“Norma, please. Go ahead.”
He hopped up on the table and crossed his legs.
“Are you a transsexual? Are you planning on having the operation?”
“No.”
“Are you a transvestite?”
“Well, that’s an interesting question. I love wearing dresses. But as I understand the traditional definition of the word, I would have to say that, no, I’m not a transvestite.”
“Then why the hell are you doing this?”
“Well, I’ll tell you a little secret.” He leaned forward and whispered, in a conspiratorial manner, “It’s fun being a woman!”
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“Oh yeah,” said Mrs. Lettinger, “it’s nothing but fun. I wish I could personally introduce you to the fun four days we women have to go through every month, Norman.”
“Norma.”
“I am not calling you Norma! Are you seriously going to dress like a woman for the rest of the year?”
“I am a woman.”
“Honorary woman. And I would personally like to wish upon you a broken heel, a busted brastrap, a run in your nylons and a bee flying right up your skirt, all in the same two minutes.”
“Mrs. Lettinger, might I ask what the big deal is? Why should you even care if I wear dresses?’
“Look, I know it’s all in fun and it’s all for charity and all the rest of it, but I’ve always thought this whole ‘womanless beauty pageant’ was rather condescending and even a little hateful. A bunch of grown men dressed as women mincing and swishing around with limp wrists, acting like no woman ever would. It’s sickening! It’s bad enough once a year, but now I’ve got to look at you in pantyhose every day!”
“I’ve never complained about seeing you in pantyhose every day.”
“Oh, that is just about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! What are you trying to prove with this?”
“Nothing. I’m a woman and I wear dresses. It’s the most natural thing in the world. It’s fun wearing a dress. And let me tell you something---“
He hopped down off the table and did a twirl in his pretty lavender dress.
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“Twirling in pants results in ninety-eight percent less happiness.”
Mrs. Lettinger stood up and said, “I can’t fire you for this, but I am going to make things very tough on you at work if you persist.”
“Once again, I refer you to my plaque. I’m a woman.”
She left. Mary followed her to the front door and said, in a low voice, “Jane, take my advice. Ignore him. He’ll get bored and quit doing it when he stops getting attention.”
“He won’t get away with this,” she said, and exited dramatically.
That evening, Norman was hanging up all his new dresses in his closet. There was hardly room for them with all his suits, shirts, and pants hanging up.
“Why don’t we get rid of these useless clothes?” he asked. “Give them to Goodwill.”
“Honey, you’re only going to be a woman for a year.”
“Unless I win again at the next pageant. And let’s be honest. Who else are they going to give it to? I’m the prettiest one there.”
“You are so naïve,” she said. “You don’t actually think they’re going to give you the title again after a year of making everyone uncomfortable like this?’
“Why not?”
“Because they’re not, that’s why. Norman---Norma, if you don’t win, you are going back to wearing men’s clothes, aren’t you?”
“I will abide by the decision of the town. The town declared me a woman, and if they decide I’m no longer worthy of being a woman, I guess I’ll have to go back to wearing these old clothes, much as I hate it.” He picked up one of his ties and said, “Oh, how I hated wearing a tie! I’m so glad I’ll never have to wear one again. Hopefully forever.”
“But wearing high heels and a girdle isn’t a problem?”
“That’s totally different. If you want, I guess we can put these into storage. But I’d much rather get rid of them.”
“Fine, we can put them into storage tomorrow, I guess. Norma, now that you’re a girl, are you going to do your share of the housework around here?”
“Of course I am,” said Norman, although he didn’t think that was fair, considering the fact that Mary didn’t have a job outside the home. But being a woman wasn’t often fair. He knew that.
When Saturday came along Mary got a kick out of seeing her husband helping with the housework, struggling to do the cleaning on his knees in high heels and a dress with a full skirt that kept getting in the way. Mary herself wore jeans and a plaid shirt. She kept saying to her husband, over and over again, that she just wasn’t as feminine as he was.
When they were done, Norman undressed and took a shower. His dress was all dirty and his pantyhose were a dead loss. Luckily, he had bought several pair. He put on new lingerie and pantyhose and changed into his brand new pretty pink dress, and redid his make-up. Mary said he looked very pretty, and he thanked her.
“Don’t wait up,” he said as he grabbed his purse and went out the door.
On Saturday evenings Norman would usually go play poker, smoke cigars and drink beer and whiskey with his friends, Jim, Don, and Phil. Jim worked with Norman at City Hall, and originally brought him into the game. Jim was single, so he’d never had an opportunity to compete in the womanless beauty pageant, but Don and Phil were married, and had competed.
The game was at Don’s house. Don’s wife was out of town, so they wouldn’t be disturbed. Jim had told them Norman’d been wearing dresses to work all week, yet somehow they just assumed Norman would be dressed in men’s clothes for the poker game. So they were speechless when Don answered the door, and Norman entered in his girly pink dress.
Norman smiled. “Hi there, boys,” he said.
They stared at him, dumbfounded. Finally, Don said, “You’re wearing a dress.”
He stared down at his pretty pink dress.
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“You’re right!” he said. “How did this happen? I guess I must be a woman.”
Norman had fallen in love with his girly pink dress from the moment he’d tried it on, and he’d been saving it for the poker game, not even wearing it to work. He loved the idea of wearing a pink dress and being girly in the middle of this male enclave that stank of cigar smoke and stale beer, a place where guys talked sports and complained about their wives and spat and swore.
“We didn’t really think you’d---“
“Wear a dress? Why not? You were there when I was named an honorary woman, weren’t you?”
“Look,” said Don, “you don’t understand. That’s just a joke. That doesn’t mean you have to dress like a woman all the time.”
“But it means I can,” said Norman.
“Look, Norman---“
“Norma.”
“All right, Norma, then! I got the title one year, and I didn’t make use of it once.”
“You should’ve. It’s fun to wear pretty dresses.”
There was nothing anyone could say to that, so they went over to the table to play some poker. Jim was even kind enough to hold the chair for Norman. “Thank you,” he said, smiling sweetly as he sat down, smoothing his skirt beneath him.
Phil said, “I got the title too, once, and my wife kept wanting me to use it. That’s a hell of a thing, your wife nagging you to come to a party in a dress. I guess she should’ve married you, Norm. Norma.”
“Still smoking cigars?” asked Don, offering him one.
“No. I don’t want to get any ashes on my new dress. I love this dress.”
Norman kind of hoped one of them would compliment his pretty dress, but they didn’t seem to be in the mood.
They played for hours, and it would be fair to say that they felt a little inhibited having Norman around. Whenever one of them made some little stupid misogynistic comment they glanced at Norman to see how he would react, as though he were a real woman and not just an honorary one.
It galled them that Norman kept winning. He usually did, but that night it particularly annoyed and humiliated them to lose to someone in a pink dress.
Jim seemed less annoyed than the others, maybe because he was used to Norman. Norman asked Jim if he’d noticed the green silk dress one of the girls at work was wearing, and Jim said Norman would look very cute in that dress. Norman said that you really needed to have the figure for a dress like that. Then he said he was thinking of going with a different lipstick color and wanted to know what Jim thought. He greatly enjoyed Don and Phil’s discomfiture.
“Is this a poker game or a fashion show?” muttered Phil, who was losing worse than any of them.
After a lot of whiskey, Norman stood up and headed off to the bathroom.
“Deal me out,” he said. “Don’t wait on me. It’s going to take me forever to get out of this girdle.”
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As he left, he turned and said, “Now, don’t you boys talk about me while I’m gone!”
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But they did talk about him, and when the game broke up after midnight, Don said to him matter-of-factly, “Norma, we’ve been talking it over. We really don’t want you at the game if you’re going to wear a dress.”
Norman was hurt. He was reapplying his lipstick at the time, and he almost smeared it. He looked at Don with a wounded expression.
“Why not?” he asked.
“Look, it’s fine with us if you want to be a woman, but this game is just for the guys. Our wives understand that. If you’re willing to dress like a man, then fine. Otherwise, we’d rather you not show up.”
“You guys are just upset about losing to a girl.”
“Yeah,” said Don. “Whatever.”
He was upset. “Excuse me,” he said, with a little quaver in his voice, and left.
“Well, what did you expect was going to happen?” asked Mary when he told her. “This is a small town. They want people to fit in. Break the rules and you get ostracized.”
“But the town told me I’m a woman!”
“OK, fine, you’re a woman, and they don’t want women at their game. I don’t remember you getting upset about it back when you were a man.”
“That’s sexist.”
“Oh, boo hoo! Welcome to womanhood.”
On Sunday afternoon there was supposed to be a meeting of the garden club at Mary’s home, and she got a call from the President of the club saying that the meeting had been canceled at the last minute.
“But I’ve made sandwiches!” she said.
“Sorry, dear.”
On Monday Mary ran into a woman who asked her why she hadn’t been at the meeting of the club. She asked where it had been. It seemed that it had been moved to the President’s home at the last minute. So she went to the President’s house to confront her about it.
“Look, I’m sorry dear, but we just didn’t want to have the meeting with Norman coming down in a dress and acting all girly, wanting to be one of the girls. It would be disruptive. In fact, we’ve been talking it over, and we’d like you to remove yourself from the club for the duration of your husband’s little crossdressing adventures.”
“But that’s not fair! You can’t blame me for something my husband is doing! Why did this town ever start the whole ‘honorary woman’ nonsense if they weren’t prepared to follow through with it?”
“No man has ever carried it this far before, dear. We’re all a little bit concerned about him. Is he having some sort of a breakdown?”
“No, he’s not having a breakdown! He has a plaque that says he can wear dresses wherever he wants to. He’s just taking full advantage of it, that’s all.”
“He really needs to behave.”
Behave. She fumed, and stormed out of the house. She decided not to tell her husband ( or was it wife, now? ) about this. It would just be an argument, and it wouldn’t change his mind. When he made up his mind to do something, nothing could change it, and he was determined to be a woman for an entire year.
She came home and saw him looking through his dresses.
“Hi, honey. I’m trying to pick a dress for the camping trip.”
“Camping trip?”
“With Don, Jim, and Phil.”
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot about that. Honey, you’re not going camping in a dress, are you?”
“I’m a woman.”
“That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? Well, it doesn’t work this time. I’m a woman too, and I know better than to wear a dress and high heels on a camping trip. That’s just not practical.”
“Why not? We women can do anything in our dresses that men can do in pants, and just as well. Why shouldn’t I wear a dress?”
“Setting up camp, walking through the woods in high heels? Having to get on your knees in the dirt? You’ll ruin your pantyhose.”
“I always carry an extra pair.”
“I know what this is about. You just want to piss off those guys and embarrass them. I’ll bet you’re even looking forward to taking off your dress in front of them.”
“I can’t wait to see their faces when they see me in my slip!”
“You know they’re not going to take you, don’t you?”
“We’ll see.”
As the date for the trip loomed, he got a call from Don.
“Hello?”
“Norma, I know we invited you on the camping and fishing trip, but that was before. You can come, but not in a dress. Be waiting at the sidewalk with all your gear, and if we see you in a dress, we’re just going to keep right on driving.”
“We’ll see about that,” he said, and hung up.
He knew what he had to do. Don’s wife Melissa was back in town. He’d never met her, but he heard about who was in charge in that house, and it wasn’t Don. Norman changed into the pretty floral dress he was planning on wearing during the camping trip, and drove straight to Don’s house.
Don was out doing errands. Melissa let him in. As soon as he saw Melissa, he knew that this was a woman who was his equal when it came to girliness. There weren’t many women in town as girly and feminine as him, but Melissa was definitely one of them. She was cooking dinner in a beautiful white chiffon dress and a lacy white apron, and there was not the tiniest stain on either.
“Come in! Sit down! I’ve heard all about you, Norman---sorry, Norma. I hoped I would get to meet you some day. Everybody’s talking about you.”
She directed him to a chair, and sat opposite.
“What are they saying about me?”
“They’re saying you wear the prettiest dresses! And I agree! That dress is just darling!”
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“Thank you. I love your dress. It must feel wonderful to wear.”
“Oh, it does! I love to go dancing in it.”
“This is the dress I plan to wear on the camping and fishing trip I’m going on with your husband.”
“You’re going camping in a dress?”
“Everyone says that! Why not go camping in a dress? If you can cook and clean and do housework in that dress, why shouldn’t I be able to go camping in my dress? Are we supposed to be ashamed of being women or something? Are we pretending we’re men?”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. Wear that dress with pride, girlfriend!”
“Well, see, that’s the problem. Your husband Don won’t let me go on the camping trip in this dress. Or any dress.”
“Oh he won’t, won’t he? We’ll see about that. Don’t you worry about a thing, Norma. He’ll be there to pick you up bright and early on Saturday morning, and you make sure to have your lipstick on and your bra fastened. Don’t you dare wear pants! I never do.”
“Thank you so much Melissa.”
“Think nothing of it.” She put one hand over his and said, “We girly girls have to stick together. But if I help you, I have one condition.”
“What?”
“You have to let me borrow that dress.”
“Only if I can borrow yours.”
“Well, why don’t we try them on right now? I think we’re about the same size, aren’t we?”
“I’m a size six.”
“Me, too. Let’s go.”
She took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom. He was a little surprised she was willing to undress in front of him. It was refreshing to come across someone who was so accepting of him as a woman.
As they helped each other out of their dresses, his eye was caught by the open closet full of dazzling dresses in bright colors. Chiffons, silks, satins. He wanted to try them all on, but he thought he didn’t really know her well enough to ask. Funny, before he became an honorary woman he’d never even thought about dresses, and now it seemed he could think of little else.
“You know,” she said, “they’ve been doing this whole ‘honorary woman’ thing for decades now, and you’re the first who’s ever taken full advantage of it. It’s about time someone showed the world how wonderful it is to be a woman. Someone besides me, I mean. I hope you win next year, too. I’ve been looking for a friend in this town as girly as I am.”
“Thank you, Melissa. Could I call you Missy?”
“I love it when girls call me Missy! No one ever does. I can tell we’re going to be really good friends.”
They tried on each other’s dresses, and Norman said, “You look so cute in my dress!”
“Thanks. You look beautiful in mine. Do a twirl for me, Norma!”
He twirled, and they both laughed.
“I would lend you my dress right now,” he said, “but I had my heart set on wearing it on the camping trip.”
So they undressed and put back on their own dresses. They talked for a while longer, and parted reluctantly.
So it was that Norman was wearing his girly floral dress and carrying his fishing rod and tacklebox, with his sleeping bag under one arm and his purse under the other, standing by the side of the road waiting to be picked up by Don.
Don pulled up, and Jim gallantly jumped out of the car and held the door open for Norman.
“Hello, Norma,” Don said wearily.
When they pulled up to the campsite and started unloading tents and equipment, Norman did his part, and didn’t have any problem traipsing through the forest in high heels or setting up the tent while wearing his pretty dress. In the afternoon they did some fishing. Norman kept putting out a hand, hoping that someone would be a gentleman and help him into the boat, but no one did. He shared a boat with Don, and tried to get Don to bait his hook for him. Don refused, and looked at Norman with contempt.
For the most part, the day proceeded without incident, except that Norman got a fishhook caught on his skirt, leaving a small hole. Other than that he was able to do everything they were doing just as well as they did, and do it in a dress and high heels. He didn’t trip on his heels, he didn’t get his skirt caught on any bushes or brambles, he didn’t get a run in his nylons.
He did just fine. He even caught the most fish.
They cleaned the fish and got a campfire started. They didn’t bring any campstools to sit on, so they all had to sit around the fire on blankets they’d spread on the ground, which was easy for the men in their jeans and hiking boots, but Norman found it more difficult to get comfortable in his dress.
Finally, Don noticed Norman and said, “Oh will you cover yourself up!”
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“What?” asked Norman innocently.
“You know damn well what! Cover yourself up! You’re just doing that on purpose!”
He didn’t realize they could see up his skirt. He really hadn’t done it on purpose, but he enjoyed the effect it was having on them. He would’ve done it intentionally if he’d thought of it.
He gave them a sexy smile. Don scowled at him.
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He laughed and adjusted his skirt.
When it came time to go to sleep, they drew straws to see who would be sharing a tent with Norman, as though it were a terrible burden. Phil drew the short straw. They went in the tent together.
The men didn’t usually bring pajamas, just slept in their underwear.
“I can’t believe I got that fishhook stuck in my skirt!” said Norman as he took his dress off. “Did I tell you about that?”
“No,” said Phil as he looked away.
“And this is a brand new dress, too.”
Phil would have to look at him eventually, and Norman enjoyed his uncomfortable look as he saw Norman in just his slip, bra, girdle and pantyhose.
“Where’s my sleeping bag?” asked Norman.
“I don’t know. Look around for it.”
Norman looked around for his sleeping bag as Phil took off his clothes and got in his own sleeping bag. Norman couldn’t find it anywhere. He realized what’d happened. They’d ditched his sleeping bag as a little joke, so Norman would have to sleep in just his slip, and freeze to death.
Well, Norman wasn’t having it. He unzipped Phil’s sleeping bag and said, “Move over.”
“Excuse me?”
“We’re going to have to share your bag.”
“No we aren’t!”
“It’s either that or I’ll freeze. Move over.”
Norman forced his way into the bag, and Phil leaped out of it.
“I think I saw where your bag is!” said Phil, and dashed out of the tent. Norman laughed privately. Phil came rushing back in with the sleeping bag, and threw it at Norman.
In the morning all the men had to shave, and Norman was no different in that respect, except that he freshened his make-up afterwards. He shared a boat with Jim this time, and he noticed that Jim was being much nicer and more gentlemanly to him, helping him into the boat, baiting his hook for him, even complimenting him on the pretty dress he was wearing. Norman smiled, enjoying the attention.
All things considered, Norm enjoyed the trip very much, and he said so on the ride home. Don just glowered at him.
As soon as Norman got in the door, Mary grabbed him and kissed him and pretty near tore his dress off. Having to go without sex for a few days was making her crazy. She just about ruined his pantyhose, tearing them off him, and she broke a nail unfastening his bra.
When they were done, he said, “I wish you’d treat me more like a lady. Look what you’ve done to my pantyhose.”
“I’ll buy you a new pair, Norma. Let’s go again.”
The next weekend he got a phone call from Melissa, Don’s wife.
“Hi!” she said. “Guess what we’re doing!”
“Are we going dress shopping?”
“How’d you know?”
“It just kind of sounded like us.”
“Pick me up in ten minutes,” she said, and hung up without even waiting for him to say yes.
They were done with the housework, and Norman thought he just had to wear his pretty pink dress for the shopping trip. It might be a good way to bring up the little matter of the poker game. And, of course, he loved wearing it.
He changed his dress and told his wife, “Gotta go. I’m going dress shopping with Melissa. You know, Don’s wife.”
“Oh. Wait up and I’ll join you.”
“No, I think this should be just the two of us.”
“Why?”
“We just happen to share a particular taste in dresses, is all.”
“Norma, please tell me you’re not leaving me at home because I’m not girly and feminine enough to hang around with you and your new friend.”
“Well, I didn’t want to come right out and say it, but---yeah.”
“Do you think I’ve never been dress shopping before? I have just as many dresses as you do!”
“Mary, go to the closet, look at my dresses and look at yours. I don’t think there’s any question who’s the real girly girl in this house.”
“Oh, for crying out loud! You’ve been a woman for a month and you seriously think you do it better than I do?”
“That’s right! Because I make an effort! When you bother to put on a dress at all you put on some shapeless thing in a dull color like brown or orange. I’ve never seen you in a pink dress in your life! You don’t have ANY dresses this pretty!”
“I’m sorry it was such an insult to wear my dresses before you got your own!”
“Mary, I don’t have time to argue about this. Melissa is waiting for me.”
Norman drove over to Melissa’s house and parked out front. She let him in, and they both laughed when they saw each other. They were both wearing pink!
“I’ll change,” she said.
“No, let me change. Let me go in one of your dresses. I had my eye on a pretty one the other day.”
“Only if I can wear that gorgeous one you’ve got on.”
“Oh, you’d look so beautiful in my dress!”
Don was not around. He probably got out of there as soon as he heard Norman was coming over.
They went into the bedroom and helped each other out of their dresses. He put on a pretty aqua dress he liked, and she wore his pink dress. She posed before the full-length mirror, and said, “It’s darling!”
“Really? Your husband doesn’t like it much.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wore it to a poker game, right here in this house.” And he told her the whole story.
“You poor, dear girl!” she said. “Well, don’t you worry about a thing. He won’t get away with it. You’ll be at the next poker game, I promise.”
“I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”
“Not another word about it. Like I said, we girly girls have to stick together. There aren’t many of us left. Come on, let’s go buy ourselves something pretty.”
They got to the only decent dress store in town, a place called “Better Dresses,” and Melissa asked, “Is this where you bought this pink dress?”
“That’s right.”
“Show me where.”
They went to where he had picked up the dress, but there were none left. They asked the salesgirl, and she said, “Sorry, we’re out of stock. I can order you one, if you like.”
Melissa asked her to do that, so she got on the computer.
“Oh, no. Sorry, it looks like they discontinued that dress. You got the last one, Norman.”
“Norma,” said Melissa and Norman together, and both laughed.
“Well, don’t worry Missy, you can borrow that pink dress any time you like.”
“So you two are wearing each other’s dresses, now?” asked the salesgirl. “Strange.”
“What’s strange about it?” asked Melissa.
“Uh, nothing. Nothing. Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply---never mind.”
They started picking out dresses, and the other women in the shop stared at them, whispering and giggling. Norman heard them, but paid no attention.
They went to the changing rooms to try on their dresses. Norman heard her say, “Norma, come help me with these buttons in the back.”
“I can’t,” he said. “I’m just in my slip.”
“That’s OK. So am I.”
So he went into the changing room in his slip. There she was in her slip, too. He helped her put on the dress. She asked what he thought, and he said it looked perfect on her.
She also helped him try on a dress, and he asked her opinion.
“It’s beautiful, but a little big in the waist. But you can fix that on the sewing machine.”
“Oh, right. Of course,” he said, sounding a little uncertain of himself. She realized the problem.
“You don’t know how to sew, do you?”
“No,” he said.
It would’ve broken his heart for her to give him that look that women know how to do so well, that look that says, “typical man!” It seemed for a second as though she were about to do it, but instead she said, “Don’t worry, Norma. I’ll teach you. You need to learn how to sew in order to get your dresses to fit properly.”
“Thank you so much, Missy. I am learning so much from you.”
“Norma, do you know why I put on a pink dress today? I mean, the one I originally had on?”
“No, but I know why I did. I was worried I wouldn’t be girly enough. I’m so intimidated by your beauty and femininity.”
“That’s exactly why I did it, too.”
“Really? You couldn’t be intimidated by me!”
“Norma, you just have this inner glow of femininity about you that no one can learn. You look so sweet and girly in your girly dresses. You are just such an incredible woman.”
“Thank you,” he said, a little bit overcome, and gave her a hug.
They tried on dresses for hours, with other women in the shop seeming to watch their every move. They bought several dresses, and took them out to the car.
“What a beautiful day! Feel that breeze!” she said. “We should be wearing chiffon on a day like this. One day we should have a picnic in the park, and wear beautiful floral chiffon dresses!”
“I can’t wait!” said Norman. “I have the perfect dress! Let’s do it next weekend. I’ll make the sandwiches.”
“I’ll make the pie and coffee. You know, Norma, you look so pretty in my dress, you should keep it.”
“I would, but I know you’re only saying that so I’ll let you keep my pink dress. And you can’t.”
“Oh come on, Norma!”
“Sorry. But I meant what I said. You can borrow it any time you want.”
They went back to her house, and for the rest of the afternoon Melissa gave Norman a lesson on her sewing machine. Then it was time for Norman to leave, and Melissa had to regretfully take off the pink dress she was wearing and give it back to him. He took off the dress he had on and put on his pink dress, and left.
About an hour later Don came home and started to rant and rave.
“Melissa, is this really true? You were alone with that freak in a room, and you were both in your underwear?!”
“Slips! We were both in our slips in the changing room! So what?”
“So what! Melissa, people talk. Everyone saw you two together all afternoon, and now they’re going to think you two are having an affair!”
“An affair! That’s crazy! We’re both women. Why would I have an affair with another woman? I’m not a lesbian.”
“Melissa, you can go around calling him a woman all you want to, but that doesn’t make it so. He’s a man, and you know he is.”
“OK, technically she’s a man, but if she is, she’s a man who wears dresses! How can you be jealous of a man who wears dresses?”
“I’m not jealous of that freak! He’s probably gay, for all I know. But people talk. I’m the Mayor of this town and I can’t have people thinking you’re stepping out on me. Especially with that weirdo.”
“She is not a weirdo! Don’t you dare call her that! She’s my best friend in this entire town, the only one who really understands me. And let me tell you something. You are inviting her back into that poker game.”
“No! That’s where I draw the line.”
“Then you can sleep on the sofa tonight.”
The fight went on for another hour, and in the end she won, as she always did. She was going to continue to see Norman, and Norman would be invited back to play poker.
The next day Mary came to see Melissa at her home. Melissa invited her in and said, “Norma has told me so much about you.”
“We need to talk. Are you going someplace special?”
She eyed Melissa’s shiny lavender satin dress with the full circle skirt, which she wore with matching petticoats.
“No.”
“Melissa, you need to stop this. I’m really concerned that you’re encouraging my husband.”
“Shouldn’t you say ‘wife’? She is a woman, after all.”
“It’s hard enough remembering to call him ‘Norma.’”
“You know what it says on that plaque. She gets ‘all rights and privileges granted to any other woman.’ That includes the proper pronouns.”
“Melissa, please. We have to talk him out of doing this. I thought he would’ve grown bored with this by now. Why are you encouraging him?”
“I feel like I AM her. Women were always putting pressure on me to not wear girly chiffon dresses to work. Stay away from bright colors, don’t wear anything shiny. Conform. Be dowdy. Behave. Well, I don’t behave. I dare to be noticed, and so does Norma.”
“Yeah, but he gets noticed for an entirely different reason.”
“No. I think it’s the same reason. She wears pretty, girly, colorful dresses, and so do I. She accepts me the way I am, and I can’t say that about another woman in the entire town.”
“OK, I don’t know why I even bother saying this, but---Norman is not a woman!”
“You need to take a closer look at her. She’s more of a woman than you are.”
“Melissa, there’s no need to get insulting.”
“It’s just a fact. Look, I can see we’re not going to agree on this. Norma’s my friend and I’m not going to abandon her.”
Mary shook her head sadly.
“I just want my husband back,” she said. “I want to be married to a man, for crying out loud! Do you know I put on his bra by mistake the other day? If Don started putting on your clothes you wouldn’t be so understanding about it. This had better be over in a year.”
“I don’t think so. I’d get used to this, if I were you. Or get a divorce.”
The next day Norman wore his pretty pink and white floral dress to work. It was one of the ones he’d bought with Melissa. Jim came up behind him in the hallway and complimented him on his dress.
He turned and said, “Thank you, Jim! I love wearing it.”
-
Jim had gotten more and more gentlemanly and complimentary of late, ever since the camping trip. He was the only man in the office who treated Norman like a lady. When he did so in the presence of the women in the office, they all giggled.
Mrs. Lettinger had been giving Norman all sorts of extra work in retaliation, but it wasn’t making any change in his behavior. She saw him in his floral dress in the Ladies Room, and said, “Norman, I must say, if you do have to wear dresses, I’m glad you’re wearing something matronly and not going around dressed like a slut, like some of these women.”
“Thank you,” he said, but the remark made him think. Matronly? Who was she calling matronly? When he was alone he looked down at his dress and thought, “This isn’t matronly.”
-
He began to feel insulted, like she thought he didn’t have the legs for a short skirt. Later that day, he lost a heel going around the corner. Luckily none of the women saw him. He knew they would all laugh at him.
When he reached down to fix his shoe, he could barely find his foot in the vast expanse of skirt.
-
OK, he thought, that was it. If wearing a sexy, short dress would annoy Mrs. Lettinger, he was right on board with the project. He made up his mind to buy a new dress that evening, on the way home from work.
That evening, on the way to “Better Dresses,” he wondered if he should go for something that was both sexy and girly, or should he get a dress that was just plain sexy? He decided to be daring and get the sexiest dress they had, just to see what the reaction would be.
He tried on a very sexy, tight black dress with white piping about the bodice. He brought it to the counter. The salesgirl was the same one who had waited on Norman and Melissa the weekend before. They were alone in the store.
“Norman, don’t you think this has gone on long enough?”
“Norma.”
“Sorry. Norma.”
“How can you say that? I’m like your best customer!”
“How many dresses do you own, Norma? What are you going to do with them all when the year’s up and you’re not an honorary woman any more?”
“I could win the title again.”
“You’re not going to win the title again, Norma! Don’t be ridiculous! If they could take it back from you retroactively they would have.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You can’t go around annoying everyone in the town and expect they’re just going to let you do it again.”
“Do I annoy you?”
“No, but every woman that comes in the shop is always grumbling about ‘that sissy Norman who wears dresses.’ No offence.”
“None taken. Are you sure they’re not annoyed because I look prettier than they do?”
“I guess that’s possible. Let me ring you up. Wow, sexy dress! This is kind of a different style for you, isn’t it? You might get yourself a boyfriend in this dress.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You know I’m a married woman.”
“Of course,” she said, and rang up the purchase.
The next day he wore the dress to work. He was looking forward to Jim’s reaction, but Jim was in a meeting for most of the morning and wouldn’t get around to seeing him until later. The women in the office had a very subdued reaction. It seemed they didn’t like it so much when he wore something sexy and showed off his legs.
He had to look up the zoning regulations for a parcel of public land at the edge of town. He got the necessary book down from a high shelf by himself, and sat in a chair reading with his legs crossed.
Suddenly he heard a wolf whistle, one of those long, low whistles that sound like “swee-swoo!”
-
He looked up and smiled. The women nearby started to pay attention.
“Nice legs,” said Jim.
“Thank you,” he said, smiling sweetly.
He was done with the book. He stood and put it back on the shelf. Jim offered to help, but Norman said, “I’ve got it.”
“You’ve got one cute little rear end! Did anyone ever tell you that?”
“Not often enough!” he said, and smiled.
-
As Norman turned to go, Jim gave him a slap right on his ass!
Norman was shocked, and so were the women in the office. He almost got mad, but instead just smiled and said, “You naughty boy!”
He left. The women in the office weren’t giggling the way they used to. They seemed very annoyed.
Norman didn’t take this seriously. He had some idea that the other guys had put Jim up to it, getting him to flirt with Norman just to annoy him as he had annoyed so many others. Well, that was fair. Annoying people and making them uncomfortable was fun, and it seemed that now he even had a way to annoy the women in the office.
He enjoyed wearing that dress for the rest of the day, showing off his legs, and of course he got a wonderful reaction from Mrs. Lettinger, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Being slutty was almost as much fun as being girly. Almost.
That evening after dinner, he got a phone call from Jim asking him to come over. They had some things to discuss, he said. Norman gave his assent, then hung up and told his wife where he was going. It was walking distance. He wouldn’t need the car.
On the way out he encountered Melissa. She wanted to borrow his pink dress.
“What are you wearing!” she exclaimed.
“A dress.”
“That’s not how you dress.”
“You mean that’s not how YOU dress. Sometimes I like to wear something a little sexy.”
“Norma, I thought we had an understanding.”
“Missy, isn’t this just exactly the sort of thing you’ve been complaining about? Someone wanting you to conform, wanting to decide what you wear?”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. You look very sexy.”
“I’ll make it up to you. I’ll wear something extra girly on the picnic this weekend. Sorry, I have to go. The bedroom is in there. Feel free to borrow any of my dresses any time you want, Missy.”
Melissa left them, and Mary stopped Norman before he made it out the door.
“What picnic?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you. We’re having a picnic in the park this weekend.”
“And I suppose I’m not invited.”
“It’s just for us girly girls. You wouldn’t be comfortable.”
“Norma, are you having an affair with Melissa?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“Of course. Of course you’re not. I just wanted to pretend for a second that I had a normal husband who did normal husband things. I think I’d almost rather you had an affair with her than wear each other’s dresses.”
He grabbed his purse and left. Though Jim’s house was walking distance it still took twice as long as he thought. He forgot he was wearing a dress with a tight skirt, and could only take half a stride.
Finally he got there. Jim welcomed him in. He dropped his purse on a table.
“Why don’t you have a seat on the sofa,” Jim said.
Norman walked across the dimly lit living room to the sofa, his tight skirt stretched to the limit.
-
Norman sat down and crossed his legs, not even bothering to smooth his skirt beneath him. It wasn’t necessary in that tight dress.
Jim sat next to him, as close as humanly possible. He put his arm around Norman’s shoulders.
Norman smiled. He thought to himself, “He is really going all the way with this bit. But I bet he doesn’t try to kiss me. He wouldn’t have the nerve to do that.”
“You look very sexy in that dress,” said Jim. “Your legs are incredible.”
“Thank you.”
With his free hand, Jim started to stroke Norman’s leg. It did feel kind of sexy, in pantyhose. Norman wondered if the other guys were hiding in a closet somewhere, listening.
“You know,” said Jim, “I don’t think either of us can deny that there’s a certain attraction between us.”
“I’m sorry, Jim, but I’m going to be the one to deny it. I’m just not attracted to you. I’m sorry.”
He removed his hand from Norman’s leg.
“Oh,” he said.
“And I’m a married woman.”
“Oh.”
“Jim, I’m sure there’s a woman out there for you somewhere. Maybe there’s a ‘Lonely Hearts’ club here in town you could join.”
“Norma, I’m not the kind of guy who has any trouble getting dates.”
“Whatever you say, Jim. I should go.”
He got up and grabbed his purse.
“But I hope this isn’t the end of the flirting between us,” said Norman. “At work, I mean. It’s just a little harmless fun. I really like it when you slap my rump like that, especially in front of the girls. It’s fun.”
“As long as you wear dresses like that, I won’t be able to help myself.”
“Good night, Jim. I’m sorry you took our flirting seriously.”
“Good night.”
Norman left, but paused to peek in the window before walking home, expecting to see the other guys making an appearance. But all he saw was Jim sitting by himself.
Norman laughed out loud on the way home. Jim was really taking this thing as far as it would go.
But maybe he was serious?
In either case, Norman bought some new short dresses to wear to work. He found a green polka dot dress with a short skirt that was the perfect combination of girly and sexy. The next day he encountered Jim as soon as he got to work.
“Hi, Jim? How do you like my new dress?” he asked. There was a window open, and it was a little too breezy. He had some difficulty holding down his skirt.
-
“You are so sexy,” responded Jim. “I wish all the women in this office were as sexy as you are. By the way, your slip is showing.”
“Oh, sorry.”
And Norman would make sure to present his ass to be slapped. Always right in front of the women in the office.
-
After a few days of this, the women all showed up together at his cubicle.
“Norma, we want to talk to you about this. About Jim.”
“What about Jim?”
“We don’t like the way he’s been treating you. It’s not funny.”
“Well, I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“We feel he’s creating a hostile work environment.”
“Look, if there’s any complaining to be done around here, it seems to me I’m the one who’s supposed to be doing it, not you.”
“We want you to file a complaint. Sexual harassment.”
“It’s just a little harmless flirting.”
“Slapping you on the rump is not harmless flirting! It’s degrading!”
“Sometimes it can be kind of fun to be degraded.”
“I can’t believe you said that! You’re just siding with him because he’s a man!”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what it means! Norma, we have had to put up with seeing you in the Ladies Room and borrowing our lipstick and everything else, and we haven’t complained because you’re willing to commit to being a woman. Well, it’s time to show some solidarity with the other women in the office. You need to decide right now: are you a woman or are you a man?”
“I’m a woman. But that doesn’t mean I have to be exactly the same sort of woman you are. That doesn’t mean all women are the same, or that we all have to agree on everything. If you want to go forward with a complaint against Jim, go ahead, but do it without me. I say it’s just some harmless fun, and that’s exactly what it is.”
They left in a huff, and Norman went back to work.
Saturday was the picnic. Norman was as good as his word. He picked out a lovely green floral dress that was too girly for even him to wear to work, and he wore it with petticoats. Melissa wore a lovely yellow chiffon dress that made him drool. He had to try it on.
They spread down a blanket on the grass so as not to get grass stains on their dresses. There was a stiff breeze blowing, and both of them had a little trouble keeping their skirts down.
“Norma, dear, your petticoats are showing!” said Melissa.
-
“Sorry, Missy,” he said, adjusting his skirt. “I had this same problem on the camping trip.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, didn’t I tell you about it?” He related the story, and Melissa laughed.
“I would’ve loved to see their faces!” she said.
They both had to eat more or less one-handed, holding down their skirts with the other hand. They were beginning to think this picnic was not such a good idea.
“You look beautiful today,” said Norman. He usually preferred to receive the first compliment, but he felt Melissa had outdone him that day in point of girliness, and it was only fair that he acknowledge it.
“Thank you, dear. You look beautiful, too. Your dress is darling!”
“Thank you. I love yours. I hope this is another day when we’ll be trying on each other’s dresses. I can’t wait to see what I look like in yellow chiffon.”
“I can’t wait to try on yours.”
“Was it a mistake to wear petticoats today?”
“No, of course not. Of course, I think the mistake was that sexy black dress you wore the last time I saw you.”
“Not this again. It doesn’t hurt to wear something a little sexy now and then, Missy. You can still be ladylike in a sexy dress. I bet Don wouldn’t mind seeing you in something sexy occasionally.”
“Oh, don’t talk to me about Don! That man has been making me so mad lately! I swear, sometimes I just wonder what men are thinking! Don’t you? Wouldn’t you like to be a man just once, just to find out---“
She put her hand to her mouth, but Norman just laughed.
“Who, me?” he asked, putting one hand flatly against his chest. “Oh, no! I enjoy being a girl! I wouldn’t want to be a man for a minute! If I were a man, could I get away with wearing a beautiful dress like this? I don’t think so.”
She laughed.
“Can you imagine a man wearing that dress?” she said. “He’d look ridiculous! It takes a real girly girl like you to look pretty in a dress like that.”
“Thank you. Speaking of sexy dresses, could we stop by ‘Better Dresses’ on the way home? I have to pick up my new coc-ktail dress.”
Mary and Norman’s anniversary was coming up, and they had a reservation at the only decent French restaurant in town. So, naturally, Norman had ordered a brand new sparkly black coc-ktail dress to wear.
A few days before the big event, Mary said to Norman, “Look, I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. This is our anniversary, and you will wear a suit and tie, and no lingerie, and no high heels, and no make-up. If you want to wear pantyhose that’s fine, as long as nobody sees it.”
“We’ll see.”
“No, there’s no ‘we’ll see.’ Do it! It won’t kill you to be a man for one day. It’s our anniversary!”
On the day in question, Mary came out of the bedroom after getting ready, and there was Norman sitting there in his brand new coc-ktail dress.
-
“What are you doing in that dress? I told you to wear a suit and tie!”
He stood up and said, “Oh, I did better than that. I bought a brand new dress for our date.”
-
“Oh, what kind of a date is it going to be with both of us in dresses? I went to the trouble of getting one of your suits out of storage. What happened to it?”
“I put it back in storage where it belongs.”
“How am I supposed to be romantic with you when you’re in a dress? Everyone’s going to be laughing at us!”
“I’m sure they won’t. Let’s just go.”
“No. I married Norman. I’m not going anywhere with Norma.”
“OK, suit yourself.”
“No, YOU suit yourself.”
“It’d be a shame to waste our reservations, and even more of a shame to waste this dress.”
He picked up the phone and called Jim.
“Hello, Jim, this is Norma. No, everything’s fine. Oh, thank you. Thank you! You are so sweet! Listen, I have this reservation at ‘La Petite Maison’ and Mary suddenly decided she didn’t want to go. Oh, who knows? She’s being funny about something. So, I thought the two of us could go together. Yes, like a date. You are going to love my dress!”
Mary grabbed the phone and said into it, “Never mind, Jim. I’m going.” She hung up. She said to her husband, “Would you actually go on a date with that guy? With everyone watching?”
“Why not, if you won’t go?”
“Norma, I have to put up with women saying a lot of embarrassing stuff to me, but this is just too much. Everyone already assumes you’re gay, and you want to prove it to them, in front of everyone.”
“Do I look like someone who cares what people think?”
“Wait just one second,” she said. She went into the bedroom, and emerged a few minutes later in a pantsuit.
“One of us might as well wear pants,” she said.
“I will never understand why women wear pants. All the things men get to do that we don’t, why should we give up one of the few thing we get to do that men don’t? I would never wear pants.”
“Alright, let’s get this over with. This is going to be humiliating.”
They drove to the restaurant, and as soon as they entered all eyes were upon them. The women giggled and the men snickered. The waiter showed them to their table and held their chairs for both of them, Norman’s first.
The waiter took Mary’s order. Then he turned to Norman and said, “And for the lady?”
Norman smiled sweetly and gave his order.
“I hate this,” she said. “Everyone is looking at us. Laughing at us. At you. How could you do this to me on our anniversary? One little thing, I asked you. One little thing. Dress like a man. For most husbands that wouldn’t be much of a problem, but oh no, not you! You have to wear a dress. I know how much you love annoying people, but why do you have to annoy me? I’m your wife! You are so selfish; you can’t ever do anything for me. And you get away with it because I’m addicted to sex and can’t go a night without it. I have nothing to hold over you. Nothing! If I just had one little secret of yours, something I could threaten to reveal. But what secret could be bigger than the fact that you wear dresses?”
“That’s hardly a secret. By the way, your pantsuit is very nice.”
“Oh, so I’m supposed to tell you your dress is pretty, am I? Well, forget it!”
“Don’t you like it?”
“That’s not the point! Oh, why do I bother?”
“I have no idea. Excuse me; I need to use the Ladies Room.”
He got up, and left his purse at the table. Mary stared around the room at all the other diners peeking at her. They all looked away. There was a drunk guy at the bar, Mr. MacHenry, a very important man in town. When Norman came back from the Ladies Room, Mary saw him get up and stagger over to their table. He stopped Norman from sitting down.
“Hey there, Norma,” he said. “Why don’t you dump your friend and let’s you and me go paint the town red?”
“No thank you. Excuse me, I need to sit down.”
“No, I don’t think you need to sit down. I think you’re coming with me.” He grabbed Norman by the wrist.
“Let me go!”
“Come on, Norma, you look beautiful in that sexy dress. Let me take it off you in a nice motel room.”
“No! Let go of me! We’re having our anniversary!”
“You can’t walk around in a slutty dress like that and not put out! Who do you think you are?”
He grabbed at Norman’s skirt.
“Let me go! You’ll rip my dress!”
Norman slapped his face, but it didn’t stop him.
Mary was content to watch until she saw her husband forced against the wall, with MacHenry putting his hand up her husband’s skirt. She grabbed one of the waiters and said, “What are you doing? Stop him?”
“Ma’am, that’s Mr. MacHenry the bank president. He could foreclose on this place in a heartbeat.”
Mary grabbed Norman’s purse, looking for something, some pepper spray or something she could use. She found some dental floss, quickly wrapped it around her hands, looped it around MacHenry’s neck and yanked him away from Norman.
“Get away from my husband! Get your hand out of his skirt!”
There was a big brouhaha. Waiters came from all over. MacHenry was gasping for breath, holding his throat.
One of the waiters said to Norman, “Ma’am, we’re going to have to ask you to go.”
“What about him?” asked Norman.
“Only if he wants to.”
Mary complained, but Norman resignedly picked up his purse and left. Mary followed.
They walked to the park, which was deserted, and sat on a bench.
“I hope you’re not going to blame this on me, are you?” asked Norman.
“No,” she said, and laughed. “If nothing else, you got to experience some of the not so fun aspects of being a woman. Wasn’t so much fun tonight, was it? Are you OK?”
He looked down at his dress.
“I’m fine. I was so scared he was going to rip my dress, and I just bought it. Good thing I wear pantyhose or I could be dealing with a busted garter right now.”
-
“I’ve got to tell you, if you weren’t my husband, and if you weren’t a man and all, and if I didn’t really disapprove of you wearing dresses because you’re my husband and because you’re a man and all, and if I were a lesbian, and if you were a woman, which, let’s face it, you pretty much are by this time, I would be so turned on looking at you right now, because you look so sexy in that dress, and you have such pretty legs, and you are such a beautiful woman, Norma. You are so beautiful!”
“Thank you,” he said.
“You know, it wasn’t that long ago you would’ve cleaned that guy’s clock for him. Back when you were a man. So I guess now you’re just too feminine to stand up for yourself, is that it? I thought you were all about confronting the stereotype of the helpless woman.”
“I slapped his face.”
She laughed and said, “Hell of an anniversary. I wish I knew why you’re doing this. Don’t you ever get tired of everybody laughing at you like you’re a fool? I try to support you, Norma, but the things I’ve gone through for you! You know, they kicked me out of the garden club because of you.”
“They did? Really? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What’s the point? You wouldn’t have given up wearing dresses, would you?”
“No, but I can get Melissa to get you back in. This town is like a big high school. The popular ones control everything. Hey, I’ve got an idea. How about next anniversary we have a service reaffirming our wedding vows?”
“With you in a wedding gown, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Do I get to wear one, too?”
“If you like.”
“Norma, please promise me that you’ll go back to dressing like a man next year when you lose your title.”
“I promise. But only if I lose. And I’m going to win.”
“Sure you are.” She yawned and said, “I really do love you, Norman. Even if you do wear dresses. And pantyhose. And high heels. And a bra. And a girdle. And a slip. And lipstick. And panties. Life with you is never boring.”
“I love you too, Mary.”
“But you love your dresses more.”
Music was coming from somewhere across the street. Mary stood and held out a hand to her husband.
“Join me in an anniversary dance, m’lady.”
“Only if you lead,” he said.
“Naturally.”
They dance for a while until the music stopped, then Norman picked up his purse and they went home. The phone was ringing when they got there. Norman answered it.
“Oh, hi Missy. Oh, you heard, did you? News travels fast in a small town. No, I’m fine. He was only kidding around. I’m just worried MacHenry is going to make a big stink about it. No, Melissa, it’s OK, you don’t have to come over. I’m fine, really. Well, OK, if you want to.”
He hung up and said, “It’s Melissa! I’ve got to get out of this dress!”
“What? Why?”
“She hates seeing me in anything sexy. I’ve got a new floral dress she’ll love.”
“So you’ll dress up special for her but not for me?”
“We need a favor from her. Best not to set her off. Help me out of this dress!”
Together, they got him out of the sparkly black coc-ktail dress and into a nice, girly floral dress with a pleated skirt. He asked Mary to answer the door when she came, so he could make a big entrance out of the bedroom.
When Melissa arrived, he entered grandly and said, “Oh, hi Missy. Like my new dress?”
-
“Wow! That is gorgeous!”
“I knew you’d love it.”
“Well, you can’t be feeling too bad if you feel like wearing a dress like that. But that’s not what you were wearing to dinner, was it? My friend said you were wearing some sparkly black thing.”
“I know, but I just felt like showing you this dress.”
“Do a twirl for me, Norma.”
Norman spun in his dress, and the skirt flared beautifully. Mary rolled her eyes.
“Listen, don’t worry about that mess at the restaurant. I talked to his wife. He’s going to come here and apologize personally.”
Mary said, “I seem to be the only wife in town who doesn’t have perfect control over her husband.”
“And of course, there won’t be any trouble about your little assault, Mary.”
“Well, I should hope not!” said Mary.
Norman interrupted to mention that Mary had been kicked out of the garden club.
“Really? Why? Oh, what am I saying? This town, I swear! My gosh, you’d think we were living in Alabama or something! Don’t worry, Mary, I’ll talk to the club president. She owes me a favor. I’ll get you back in.”
“Thank you, Melissa.”
“Listen, you know I’d like to stay, but it’s late. I just wanted to make sure you’re OK, Norma.”
“I’m fine.”
“And if you think you’re not lending me that dress sometime, you’re crazy.”
“Only if I can wear to a picnic next weekend.”
“Yes! I thought that as soon as I saw you! It’s amazing how much we think alike.”
The next day MacHenry came and apologized to Norman, but it wasn’t a very sincere apology and wasn’t meant to taken as one. He said he’d just wanted to have a little fun with Norman. MacHenry clearly had nothing but contempt for Norman, despite the fact that they’d both been on stage together in evening gowns. But Norman didn’t really need an apology. He was just glad the incident was over. He thought of flirting with MacHenry a little, just to see what he’d do, but maybe it was better to just move on.
Time passed, as it does for all of us. Many months and many different dresses went by. Mary constantly complained about how many new dresses her husband was buying.
Norman got back into the weekly poker game, and he and Jim flirted openly with each other, right in front of the other two guys. Norman enjoyed it. He thought the flirting was fun, and he always enjoyed the discomfiture of the other guys.
It was just a couple weeks from the next “womanless beauty pageant,” and Norman was in “Better Dresses” shopping for an evening gown for the competition when he saw a cute velvet floral dress, very short and very tight. He thought “Jim will love me in this.” He bought it immediately.
The next day at work he managed to encounter Jim in his new dress right in front of where the ladies worked.
“Hi there, Jim,” he said, posing in his new dress.
-
“Wow!” he said. “You are a knockout! You look so sexy today!”
“Oh thank you, baby.”
Norman turned to go, and Jim slapped him right on the ass.
Unfortunately the women had seen this so many times, they didn’t even react any more. They were just weary of the whole thing and wanted it to be over.
When Norman left, he almost bumped right into Mrs. Lettinger. She said, “Tell me, Norman, why do you two continue to perform that little ritual for the girls when it’s obvious it doesn’t annoy them any more?”
“It’s fun.”
“Your wife told me you’d quit this nonsense if we’d ignore you and stop giving you attention. Doesn’t seem to have worked. Anyway, come in my office, Mr. Dress-wearer. I want to show you something.”
He followed her in, and she showed him an official looking doc-ument.
“It took some doing, but I finally got the dress code changed. Read.”
The doc-ument said that the dress code was now a suit and tie and appropriate shoes, for men. A skirt or dress, and high heels at least two inches, for women. Failure to maintain proper attire will result in dismissal.
“We’re close to the idiotic pageant, so I’ll forget about it until then. After that, whether you’re an honorary woman or not, if you come to work like this again you will be fired. Understand, Mr. Pantyhose?”
“Sure.”
At the doorway, she said, “You know, of all the things that God has done to make things interesting for us here on earth, I’m sure that the best of these was His plan to make men think that women have all the best of it in this world, and to make women think that men have all the best of it. I’m sure that one day I will find out which one of these is true, but probably not in this world, and probably not today.”
He wasn’t sure what he was going to do about this change. He thought about it. He decided that if he won the title again, and he had every expectation he was going to, he would continue to wear dresses to work. If she succeeded in firing him, he would just have to get another job. Maybe they needed another salesgirl at “Better Dresses”?
He really didn’t like being told what to do. He always followed the rules, but as far as he was concerned, the title of “honorary woman” meant that the only portion of the dress code that applied to him was the part about what women wear. That was his interpretation of the rules, and he felt certain it would prevail over Mrs. Lettinger’s interpretation.
That night, Norman thought about how close the next pageant was, and about Jim. He wondered if it was real, if Jim was really attracted to him. He was pretty sure it was a put-on, but all of a sudden he had an insatiable desire to find out for sure. He told Mary he was going out for a walk.
Before leaving, he wrote a short note that said, “Jim, I’m not really attracted to you. Just playing with you.” He put it in his purse, just in case he needed it.
He walked to Jim’s place. It was a cool night, and he could feel a bit of a breeze going up his skirt in his short dress. Though tight, his dress was stretchy enough that he could take a full stride, so he made good time. He got to Jim’s place and knocked on the door. Jim let him in, and he pretended to be in great distress. He dropped his purse on the table, like before.
“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be bothering you about this. It’s just that Mary and I had a fight. She just doesn’t understand me.”
He sat on the sofa and crossed his legs.
“She doesn’t understand that I was meant to be a woman. That I am a woman. In here.” He touched his chest with his fingertips.
He patted the sofa, and Jim sat next to him.
“It’s all over between us, Jim. Between Mary and me. And it’s all because of you. It’s all because I can’t get you out of my mind. Hold me, Jim.”
Jim put his arms around him.
“Kiss me.”
Norman closed his eyes and puckered his lips.
He kept his eyes closed and waited. It seemed like a long time, but he didn’t open them.
Finally he heard, “OK, I just can’t do this.”
He opened his eyes.
Jim said, “Look, this was just supposed to be a gag, just something to make you uncomfortable like you’ve been making everyone else uncomfortable. Maybe even get you to quit wearing dresses.”
“I knew it!” said Norman.
Jim was genuinely surprised.
“You were playing with me?” Jim asked.
“Like you played with me. But you can’t beat a girl like me at my own game. You were outclassed. Never underestimate the power of a woman. Even an honorary one.”
“OK, fine. You got me. You win.”
“But you’re still going to keep flirting with me at work, right? It’s fun.”
“You want me to keep slapping you on the ass? I should spank you, right now.”
Norman actually climbed across Jim’s lap, and waited, smiling. Jim was shocked.
“Go ahead. Lift up my skirt and spank me. I’ve been a naughty girl.”
“Will you get off me! You know I’m not going to spank you!”
“Don’t ever bluff with a girl like me unless you’re willing to follow through. And now I will leave you in the ignominy of your defeat. Good night.”
He stood up, tugged down his skirt and looked around for his purse.
Jim asked, “Why do you do it, Norman? Why do you keep wearing dresses when so many people are trying to get you to stop? Is it just to mess with people’s heads? Has it all just been pretending? You can’t tell me you don’t enjoy being a woman.”
“Of course I enjoy it. It’s fun.”
“How’d you know I was playing with you, anyway?”
“You’re a lousy actor. I, however, am an excellent actress. I know how to play a lady in distress. A lady in ‘this dress,’ I should say.”
“Would you really have been willing to let me kiss you, just to win your little game?”
“You know what they say. When the heels are on, the gloves are off.”
-
He grabbed his purse and left. He didn’t see any reason to reveal the little note in his purse. It wasn’t needed.
The night of the pageant, all the married men were back in evening gowns again. Norman wore his brand new pink evening gown, and he looked quite beautiful. He was nervous. He kept his sweaty palms close to the sides of his gown. He felt like the whole crowd was glaring at him, except Melissa, and it rattled him so much he found it difficult to smile. Yet he still looked prettier than anyone else up there.
-
But it didn’t matter. Everyone knew the fix was in. They gave the title to Phil. A stranger might’ve wondered why in the world they didn’t give the title to the only pretty one there.
Afterwards, Norman sat backstage, heartbroken. His wife had brought a brown suit for him to wear home. She had just gotten it out of storage that day. It was there hanging on a garment rack, waiting for him.
His wife said, “Come on, honey, it won’t be so bad, being a man again. You are one, after all. You’ll get used to wearing pants again. You won’t have to wear a bra, any more. Won’t that be good? Come on, let’s get you out of that evening gown.”
Melissa came sweeping into the dressing room in a red chiffon dress. “You were robbed!” she said. “Oh well, it doesn’t matter. Put your dress back on and let’s go have some dinner. Don’s waiting.”
“I can’t wear dresses any more, Missy.”
“What do you mean, you can’t wear dresses?”
“The town has told me I’m not worthy of being a woman any more. I have to go back to being a man.”
“You, a man? Don’t be ridiculous! You’re not a man.”
Mary said, “Yes he is, Melissa. There’s the suit he’s wearing home.”
She looked at it and said, “You’re seriously going to wear this? In public? In front of everyone?”
“It looks like I have to, Missy.”
“Why? You’re not going to let what’s written on some little plaque rule your entire life, are you?”
“I did before.”
“But you can’t! You’re a woman. Look at you! There’s no trace of any man there!”
Mary said, “Melissa, that’s enough! I’ve waited through an entire year of picnics and wearing each other’s dresses and seeing my husband’s pantyhose drying on the curtain rod. Enough’s enough! You are not going to force my husband to be a woman for the rest of his life!”
“I’m not forcing her to be a woman! She is a woman! You can’t do this! You can’t take Norma away from me!”
“His name is Norman. Please just give us a minute, Melissa. He needs to get changed.”
“No!” she said. In panic, she grabbed the suit and held it by one shoulder. “I won’t let you do this! You’re going to turn her into a phony! You just want to make her conform, like everyone else in this town!”
Mary grabbed the suit by the other shoulder and said, “Let go!”
“Norma, you’re my best friend here. We both know you’re more feminine and girly than any other so-called woman in this place. More than me, even! I can’t live without our picnics and trips to the dress store and all the other little things we did.”
“Maybe you can get Phil to go with you,” he said.
“Oh, Phil’s not going to do anything with the title! Who cares who has the stupid title? You should’ve won. Why are you doing this?”
Mary said, “Because my husband always follows the rules.”
“I don’t like this any more than you do, Melissa, but I have to do it. I lost the title. But maybe next year I might win again. Then Norma can come back.”
“Can’t you just wear your pretty dress tonight? One last night?”
“No. I’m late as it is. All the other guys are out of their evening gowns already.”
“Melissa, please don’t make a scene. Let go of my husband’s suit and give us some privacy.”
She let go of the suit and sadly walked to the door with slow steps, stopping on the way out to say, “Norma, you can parade around in a suit if you want to, but we both know that underneath it, you’re a woman. Do you think I would’ve undressed in front of you if you weren’t a woman? Don’t you know you’re a woman?”
“Not any more,” he said, sadly.
So Norman changed into his brown suit and went back to being a man. He hated wearing a tie, again. It took him quite some time to unlearn all the little feminine gestures he’d picked up. Though he wore suits to work, it was months before he stopped being worried every time he went through a door that he might get his skirt caught, or every time he went on an elevator that he might get his heel caught in the gap. He couldn’t leave a room without looking around for his purse. Outside, the slightest breeze would cause him to reflexively reach down to hold his non-existent skirt in place. He avoided some splinters sticking out of a door because he was sure they would cause him to get a run in his nylons. And a number of times he nearly went into the Ladies Room before changing course at the last second.
The men didn’t forbear when it came to making fun of him. Though he was back to wearing suits, they still called him Norma and said, “After you, Miss.” But he was immune to embarrassment, and just smiled in response. Jim didn’t flirt with him any more, though. There was no more slapping him on the ass.
Standing next to Norman at a urinal, a guy in the office said, “I’ll bet you’ve missed this!”
“Oh sure,” he said sadly. “Women get to wear beautiful dresses and evening gowns, get asked on dates, get their drinks paid for, get all kinds of attention. But we get to use the urinal, so---yay us.”
Sometimes people would see him walking past “Better Dresses” looking wistfully at the displays in the window. But he never went in.
He gave all his dresses to his wife, but most of them were either too girly or too sexy for her, and she seldom wore them. When she did, someone was sure to say, “Isn’t that your husband’s dress?” which embarrassed her no end.
He saw Melissa again. They approached each other on the sidewalk, and at first she looked at him without recognition. As they got closer, she realized who he was. She looked at him first with anger, then with sadness, then with regret.
He showed up that night at her door.
“I just wanted you to have this,” he said. “You always loved it.”
It was the pink dress.
THE END
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