Chapter 333.
There was a female attendant by the door, a young woman in a crisp white blouse and smart black skirt. She was well-disciplined, and the only reaction she showed was a slight widening of the eyes, which Tim registered and took for surprised admiration.
“Sir…”
She opened the door with a slight inclination of the head, which he took for respect, but which in fact served to hide an irrepressible grin. He was feeling pleased with himself. In full uniform, gloves and all, even those who had already seen him would pay attention. He strode boldly into the crowded room, head erect, wearing a faintly superior smile.
This side of the ballroom was occupied mainly by guests who hadn’t been invited to the ceremony. He passed casually between the tables, looking around as if searching for someone. The buzz of conversation faded as he passed, replaced by a stunned silence, broken only by gasps, and a little cry of surprise from a woman somewhere behind him. Ahead of him two women on adjacent tables had been chatting. But when they saw him they stopped and stared, open-mouthed. He gave one a friendly, condescending smile, and was about to pass on when she spoke.
“Are you…the pageboy?”
He stopped. “I am, yes.”
“Oh…gosh…” She fought back the urge to burst out laughing. “We…we’ve heard so much…about you… Now I see why.” She blinked, and stared at his shorts. “What an…incredible – I mean, absolutely amazing, outfit… We’ve never actually seen a real pageboy in a real pageboy outfit. Have we, Eileen?” she added, addressing the woman across the aisle.
“No, never… What’s your name, young man?”
“I’m Tim.”
“You look…well, so smart. Deborah told us to check you out… I mean, to make sure we said hello… Can I ask… Your shorts… Is that vinyl?”
They were clearly impressed. And so were their neighbours, to judge by the clicking of camera shutters from the nearby tables.
“Latex, actually,” he said, proudly. She looked closer, so he added, “in fact, it’s the highest grade of natural latex you can get. And the colours are very special.”
“They are…?”
“These colours will be trending next year. The fashion house assures me next year will be dominated by purple and pink in combination.”
“Goodness! Doris, make a note of that. Thank you, Tim. We’ll beat that in mind when we’re shopping for our new wardrobes.”
“No problem.”
“Could we…? I mean, would you mind if we took a couple of snaps? Perhaps a selfie?”
“Please, ladies. It would be my pleasure.”
He could never have spoken like that before ESDS…or before Shirley. He remembered how he had flunked Nicola’s first elocution class. But now… Not only was his outfit super cool, but he sounded classy and educated. He no longer stammered, or felt lost for words. He felt confident. Everyone was so pleasant and friendly, especially the more knowledgeable, mature women. Soon others were gathering round, complimenting him on his uniform.
“Tim, darling… “ one asked politely, extending a hand towards his shorts, “would you mind if I… They’re so well-tailored…”
“Not at all…”
She ran her fingertips down his flank.
“Laura. Feel that seam. Smooth as silk! And the frills! How on earth did they make them so perfectly regular? Who did you say it was?”
“Fantastex. You may have heard of them…”
“Yes, really amazing workmanship,” added her friend, Laura, teasingly tracing the front seam downwards from his belt buckle with a bejewelled fingernail, stopping short and bestowing the sweetest smile on him when she felt him tense with alarm. Soon ladies were queueing up to take photos, to chat and compliment him. Some were terribly discreet, other less so.
“Now I know what all the fuss was about!” commented one lady in a flowery dress, bending forward to admire his shorts. “What super little hot pants!”
Tim jibbed slightly at her calling them that.
“Well, they’re actually…” (“Actually” was becoming one of his favourite “classy” words.) “…they’re actually proper pageboy shorts. You can ask my outfitters, if you don’t believe me. They’re not far from here…”
“Oh, really?… Yes, I must go ask your outfitters, mustn’t I?”
The slight sarcasm was largely wasted on Tim’s swollen ego.
“Well Cynthia assures me that, to the best of her knowledge, this style of shorts is not available anywhere else in the country – and in latex, probably anywhere else in the world!”
He could have added “so there!” – but he just managed to stop himself.
Flowery dress decided to play along.
“Really? I believe you. I’ve never seen anything quite like them. Have you, Tracey?”
“I don’t think I have. Tim, darling… Please tell us. Where is Fantastex based? I would love to get something as unique as that for my daughter. I assume they do ladies’ clothing as well?”
This was all very gratifying. “Of course. I’d be delighted. Actually my aunt – see that lady over in the corner in the blue dress – she’s looking at us now – she can give you their business card.”
“Oh, perfect. Thank you.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me… I think these ladies are next…”