How JB Became Famous

[Toni]

Chapter X.XIX: JB's New Bed



Until I saw the empty boxes in my garage, I'd totally forgotten that all my new furniture was supposed to be in my room when I got home. Mommy couldn't even get the car into it and parked in the driveway. Mama's car was there too because she had come over to let the deliverymen in.



Mama came out because she had heard us drive up, and I ran to her as soon as Mommy had got me out of the car. We went straight to my room, and there it was.



I guess I'd known what it would be like, but it still made me feel bad, and I went and leaned against its bars. Mama came up behind me and asked if I wanted to get inside it. I nodded slowly, and she lifted me up and placed me in the crib. I sat there and brushed my hand across the bars until Mommy asked if I liked it.



I nodded yes, although I really, really didn't. It was white, and at both ends it had cute little animals, bunnies, squirrels, and kittens mostly, that looked like they were carved into the wood; they weren't colored though, just the same as the rest of the head and foot boards, you could just see them because of the shapes. There were little animals in the top rail of the sides too.



Mommy came over and rubbed my back and asked what the trouble was, and that's when I started to cry and said, "I don't want to be in jail, and I want to still sleep with you."



She picked me up and hugged me tight, and we sat in the new rocking chair that was in a corer. She said, "JB, baby, you can come and stay in my bed sometimes still, but you need your own bed too. It isn't a jail, honey, the bars are there to keep you safe; you do roll around a lot when you sleep and I don't want you to fall out. That would be horrible!"



I said, "Yeah, but I can never get out anymore. I can't come in in the morning and watch you sleep any-ever. And you look so sweet that way, Mommy. And I can't go watch cartoons, or wait for you by the shower. I just got to sit and be locked up."



Mama said, "Jade, you slept in a bed like this today. That was OK."



That was different, and also how I knew. But I didn't like talking and explaining all the time, and I was sobbing. But I manage to say, "That was nap; and I was scared it would take long for someone to come, and had to push button twice, and it was at school so no where to go."



"But, JB," Mommy said, "I'd worry about you running around the house alone, and I want to come in take my little baby out of bed somethimes."



"I don't want to be a baby all the time though, you can come at naps, and I won't run round when I not supposed too. Promise. Promise."



Mama said, "Marnie, you did say he had different modes, and you did get the extra rail to make this into a toddler bed."



"OK, baby love, we will fix you a big boy's bed, and then we will decide how you will know when you can get out and when you can't."



I smiled. And Mommy and Mama got screwdrivers, and I helped by holding things and finding little pieced that got dropped. And the bed was lower and it still had a rail almost the whole way, so it was still cozy and safe, but the rail didn't go all the way to the end of the bed so I could climb out at times; and Mommy put a timer on the dancing ballerina that Mama had gave me so I'd have one at home and at school, but she would only come on and dance at times I could get out, rest of time I had to just call and there was a walkie-talkie right in my room so Mommy could always hear me if I needed her.



And I climbed in and out about twenty times for practice, and the bed even had pads around the rails incase I rolled too far. And I said it could be a little girl's bed sometimes too, and Mommy and Mama said that it could too. And I loved it, but sometimes I could still stay with Mommy until I feel asleep; she promised.



And then I looked at the rest of stuff in the room, and I love it to. There was the rocking chair with a soft seat and back and even padded arms, and a toy box that was white and gold and looked like a treasure chest! And there was a bunch of drawers, but on top it had a pad and a rail so no one could roll off by accident, and that was for changing babies, but also for changing big kids too.



And when I was on the changing table the castle was right above me, and when I was in bed there was a rainbow above me, but I told you about those already yesterday.



Mommy went to get dinner fixed, and Mama stayed to play with me. We decided to play dress up and Mama helped me get into my costume that looked like the ballerina lamp that she had given me. It even had a tutu that was all rustley, and I tried to spin on my toes, but - know what - that is real hard. But I could hold my legs up and stuff and do lots of that stuff. And I walked all the way to the table on my toes when it was dinner time. Even though Mommy had made macaroni, which is hard to keep on a fork, I decided I didn't want anyone to feed me tonight, and got it all in by myself.



After dinner I had to do homework. I didn't have that much, but my new Math teacher had given me five whole sheets to do, and he told me to tell Mommy she couldn't help no matter how much she wanted to. The first of it was easy, easy. But the last was real, real hard, and I wished I had forgot to tell Mommy that.



While I was working Mama had to go home, but she and Mommy talked at the door, and she decided she was going to come back just to put me in bed tonight.



After homework I went potty and left my tutu off while I played with my trucks. Then it was bath time, and Mommy got in with me, after we washed and played with the boats and dolls I snuggled with Mommy in the water. I moved my hand down between her legs to feel inside her crack again; she smiled and said, "Gently, sweet baby," and I was. She put her hand on top of mine and put it over a little bump inside her. Then she pushed it down lower and to where there was a hole my finger could go in to. She kissed my forehead while I did that and left her lips right there.



She got up all the sudden and took me out of the tub, she dried off and dried me off, and we went into her bed. She lay down with her legs apart and had me lay next to her, then she took my hand and put it back inside her. And I put my lips on her nipple, and she stroked my hair. She started to get wet down there, and she got some of he juice on her fingers and put them into my mouth, it was kinda oily and salty but not bad. Then she started breathing hard, but didn't want me to stop.



Mama walked in and saw us. I held my arms out to her and she came and gave me a hug and lay next to Mommy too. Mama put her hand with mine and we both rubbed around Mommy's legs. Mama started to practice nuzzle with Mommy, and Mommy started to pant real fast. Then she sat up real fast and grabbed me in a tight hug, and kissed me on my tummy for a real long time and I giggled, and she put my fingers in her mouth and then in my mouth, so I could taste the juice again, and then Mama s*cked my fingers and then she and Mommy kissed again while they both hugged me almost too tightly.



Then Mommy lay down like she was real tired, and Mama picked me up, and we went into my room. When she laid me on my new changing table she asked me, "Did you have fun doing that, Jade."



I just grinned real big, and she smiled. After she had put all the creams and oils and powders all over me, and put me in my diaper, she lifted me off the table and asked what I'd like to wear to bed. I looked through all my t-shirts, but picked the long pale blue nightie I'd borrowed from Glyn the other night.



"That's a very pretty choice, Jade," Mama said.



"It's not fair that all the nice stuff to wear is only for girls, isn't it?" I said.



Mama said, "Certainly not, but I think you can start wearing lots of pretty things if you like, Jade. I'm going to take you shopping for some more things very soon, pumpkin."



I hugged her, but said, "But can't at school anyway."



"Well not at first, but maybe someday soon, sweetie. We will see."



After I had kissed Mommy goodnight, I nuzzled with Mama and had my bottle while sitting in the new big chair in my room. Mama put me down in my new bed, and it was nice to lie there and see the bars that kept me so safe then. I started pretending to taste candy on my thumb, and Mama put the soft yellow and white cover over me and kissed my nose.



When she turned out the last light stars came out all over the ceiling. That was the surprise in my room that I could only see in the dark. And they were wonderful too.

[Toni]

Chapter X.X.X: JB's Thoughts  



When I woke up the pink ballerina was already dancing, so it was OK for me to get out of bed. I carried both of my best bears into Mommy's room, but she wasn't there. Someone was under the covers but it wasn't Mommy.



I stopped and stared at the covers, then I heard the door open, and I went just inside the door to peek down the hall. I saw Mommy walking up the hall; what a relief! But she was all sweaty, and I didn't know why. I said "You OK? Who is that??"



She smiled at me and said, "I just went for a run, sweetheart, and that's just your Mama. Why don't you climb under the covers very quietly and nuzzle while I get a shower, baby?"



I went over, pushed the covers back, then lay next to Mama, and started s*cking her b*east; she didn't have a bra on to get in the way. In fact, she had nothing on, and while I nuzzled I let one hand go down between her legs and petted her inside like I had done with Mommy last night. Mama didn't wake up, but her hand started rubbing my bottom.



Mommy came back all wet and kissed the back of my head. Then she kissed Mama and said, "Nora, you should wake up. You don't want to miss this, hon."



Mama whispered, "Hush. You're going to mess up my lovely dream."



I smiled, and snuggled closer to her. Mommy kept rubbing her hair with a towel and went to the kitchen. She came back with a warm bottle of milk, and one of juice too. She sat down on the bed and said, "Sorry to tell you this, love, but you need to get up; you have just time to feed our little honey pot."



Mama sat up and stretched; she laid me across her lap and put the warm bottle in my mouth. "By the weekend I'll be able to do both of these things at once."



"That soon, Nora?" Mommy said.



"I've done it before. That gives me an advantage, Marn," Mama said. Then Mommy sat with an arm around Mama, and put my legs across her, so I was sitting in two laps at once as I drank my milk. When I was done Mama made me lean forward and rubbed my back. That made me burp, and some stuff came up too, but Mommy had a towel ready to catch it, and we all laughed.



Mama is supposed to be at school before the busses so she had to hurry. Mommy feed me breakfast, scrambled eggs, and I let her put it in my mouth because she asked, and I like that better in the mornings. Then we got dressed. She put me in a pair of light blue shorts that had a yellow string to tie in a bow that was supposed to shoe at the top and a top - I mean shirt - that was tie-dyed in big swirls of yellow and blue, which was about as pretty as anything a boy could wear with out being teased for being dressed-up.



It was the first morning of my new schedule and Mommy let Abby and me go to the infirmary at the end of her class again. Mama said I was going to get a morning snack everyday from now on; that meant a bottle of warm milk and a nuzzle.



Then I went to my new class, which was reading, which I took now instead of English. The teacher was an old lady, who talked real sweet to everybody, and had a young lady that helped her and talked real soft. In the class room was a spot that had pillows and a wall around it that was painted like a stone wall, and that was called the palace. We got to go in there if we finished our work for the day; they started me off real easy and I got to go there my first day! Even though I came late.



Once in the palace the teacher said we could do anything we wanted to as long as it was reading. Which was a joke, but still it was nice because we could read from lots of books, even comic books.



Both of those boys were in this new class too. Yeah, Carl and Henry, the idiots that had thrown water on me and tried to beat me up and got me played catch with and were in my arithmetic class and had tried to bother me yesterday too. And they got to go into the palace just after I did, and I think they only did their work to get in there with me, and I squeezzed into a corner and tried to ignore them, because the teacher said it was a reading palace not a talking and playing palace. But they kept talking to me anyway.



And one of them eventually said, "Hey, look, Jaden, we're real sorry about throwing water on you."



I just rolled my eyes and looked away. I wasn't that dumb, but then the other one said, "Yeah, we thought you were a boy. That was dumb, but you know with the clothes you wore and all. So we would never have done it, if we had known you were a girl. Really."



I chuckled by accident, and still didn't say anything, and the first one said, "Besides that isn't where girls would get wet anyway, so we would have had to think of something else; I mean to trick a girl - not that we would, because we aren't creeps."



I laughed at the parts about not being creeps, and said, "OK, whatever, quiet before we get in trouble," and they acted like I'd said something nice to them and they wanted me to, but at least they left me alone.



So that was the only new and weird stuff that happened that morning, and I didn't care that they thought I was a girl now, because they were just annoying now and not dangerous any more. At least for now.



After lunch just Abby walked me to the infirmary today, and she told me that Lee had had accidents again at home last night, and Lee wasn't even being taken on potty breaks unless she asked and was wearing pull-ups even to school.



I gave Abby a hug and told her she was nice right in the hall, because she was talking nicer about Lee now, but I don't know if she knew that's what I meant.



I went into my room and was playing with my bears while Abby and Mama talked in the hall, and they came in and made me stop right in the middle, and Abby said I was being fussy, and Mama said I always was just before nap time. But I wasn't being fussy at all; I was just busy right then.



Mama let Abby do almost all of getting me ready and they talked about doing things for Lee so I guess that was practice for Lee. Then Mama and I nuzzled and Abby was there and waited and we didn't hide what we were doing from her any more. Then Mama asked Abby if she wanted to give me my bottle and I was put in Abby's lap. As I s*cked he bottle my hand brushed up against Abby's boobies, and she didn't mind so I let it stay there, and then I was laid in the bed, both Abby and Mama kissed me before they pulled up the rail, and I feel asleep.



When I woke up the ballerina light was dancing. I didn't know if that was a sign like it was at home or not. I watched her and pretended I had candy on my thumb, and thought about things. I didn't like taking naps when they started but waking up felt good.



You might think that I had become a complete little kid, and I couldn't think about things or remember things any more, but that's wrong. I remembered that today was Tuesday, and I couldn't hear the bells in my room, but I knew it was just about the end of fifth period out in the school. It was after fifth period just one week ago that I got hit by a door and had an accident and Mommy cleaned me up.



Just one week and my life had changed a lot!! It's taken this long to tell you about all of the changes, and maybe that's taking too long, but it all seems kind of important, so I told it.''



I still knew I was thirteen years old, but I liked it being treated little, and I liked it getting hugs and held, even by the girls in my class. And sometimes I didn't mind when I had to talk to kids now and even talked in class and what I said wasn't always stupid now, even the teachers said so.



Just one week and I didn't mind when people thought I was very little, because they thought I was sweet and cute too, and I liked being those things now. And I wondered if it would be better if they thought I was a girl now, because then I could be sweeter and cuter too. But lots of people had seen my pieces, the ones between my legs - you know, and I didn't even mind that. I like not wearing clothes or just wearing panties, and no one minded. so maybe I could wear cuter clothes too and they would mind either.



Anyway when I started telling this story, I said I was going to become famous. Maybe you thought that I just meant that lots of people in Jr. High would know my name, and that already has started kind of. And I like that because even if someone was going to be mean to me now, there would be someone to help me near by.



But I meant a lot more than that when I said I was going to be famous. I meant that I was going to have things about me in the paper and even some on TV and get a medal and stuff like that. You will see.



But it is a couple of weeks later than now that all that started. I wanted you to know about my new life and new friends first, because that is part of what's going to happen. And there are still secrets, like the thing that happened last year that I still don't know all about, and that I should tell you how I learned them too.



Also, I want to tell you more about my playing with people and having fun and shopping, but tell me if you think I'm just talking about it to much.



I guess, I kinda don't want to get to the scary and sad parts to fast.



Right then, just after I had woke form a nap, I liked just being the very cutest kid in the whole school and being loved by lots of people, and I knew I was both those right then when I had just woke up. And that's the nice part to tell about and all.



I remembered I would be staying at volleyball practice all afternoon, and that I could go to PE in just my unders, and I pushed the button to call Mama because I wanted to get the afternoon started, NOW.

[Toni]

Chapter X.X.XI: JB Goes to Practice

Amanda came in with Mama, so fifth period was already over. Just like I had thought would happen yesterday, they did put me in the shirt with the teddy bear on it, but today I didn't mind any more. I even decided to take my bear, Holly, with me to classes (that was allowed as long as we didn't play with them during class time.).

Not even those two boys, Carl and Henry, said anything about my bear or the bear on my shirt, but they did ask me why I changed clothes, and I said, "Because I want to." And they said "good-bye" and "see ya'," when we left class, like we were friends now, and I just took Cindy's hand and walked away fast, and she teased me about having two boy friends all the way to the gym (but it was nice teasing, not mean teasing).

OK, then I wore just panties again all during PE class though Mommy said I could wear the shorts I already had on, but I didn't want to, because it's more comfortable the other way. And I stayed like that during volleyball practice too. After all the warm-ups when the team started real volleyball drills, Mommy told me to pick a girl to take me into the locker room to do business - you know, go potty - because I had had to at about this time yesterday, and Mommy wants to be safe and not have accidents when I don't have to. I picked Cindy because she still had a sore knee and had to not practice real hard yet, even though officially she is younger than me and she didn't mind. Then I sat on the bleachers and it was kind of dull because there weren't even any balls I could chase, so Holly and I had to just watched.

The cheerleaders were practicing inside on the mats because the grass was too wet (but the football team and both soccer teams were outside), and that girl from yesterday, Heather, called me to show them all how I put my legs behind my back. The cheerleaders told me that they all had to do a bunch of gymnastics for years (at our school that was the rule, so that just being pretty didn't mean you could try-out and get mad if you didn't make the squad), but they weren't that limber as I was. Then they tried to show me how to do some flips and stuff, but mainly I could just do summersaults and cartwheels because the others took lots of practice.

But I could do some of the jumps and landings that were part of the cheer stuff; and they asked me again, to be a junior cheer leader. (I decided that junior meant I hadn't done all the gymnastics, and not about my age, and also because I was little and acted little too, even though they knew I was as old as them. And now that seemed all OK to me, because it was OK to them too.) But I didn't want to make the volleyball team mad at me! Or Mommy! So I said maybe - for just half the practice - and I'd see about it.

While we were practicing, I was trying to do the dances with them (I wasn't good, but they didn't mind). At the end, I jumped in the air and landed in the splits (I knew what that was now.), and someone clapped and I looked around and saw it was my Mama. Mommy had told me she was coming to take me shopping, but I didn't know it would be this early.

Mama just waved to Mommy and was in a big hurry to go, because I had to do homework after shopping too and because traffic was starting. But even I knew I couldn't go shopping in just unders! But when I said that all the cheerleader girls laughed, and one said, "They aren't unders for you, Jade, because you don't have any overs over them." Which really was funny. But Mama said she was going to change me into something nice in the car anyway.

Mama's car was a whole lot smaller than Mommy's and only had two doors, so I stood close to one and she pulled something up my legs. She hadn't let me see all of them first, but I knew they were blue and white. She had them all the way up before I realized it was a skirt. I'd never worn one of those of course.

I think Mama thought I was going to cry or be fussy, because as soon as she had it all they way up she sat in the car seat and but me in her lap and hugged me and told me how pretty I looked and that it would be better for shopping for the things she wanted to buy tonight.

But I wasn't going to be fussy at all; I thought some girl time would be fun. And it was a really neat skirt too. It looked like it was three different skirts because the pieces over lapped, and the white part turned out to be lace in three rows all the way round and it was all rufflely and puffed out kind of, but not as much as the dress I'd worn for Mama's dinner a couple nights ago, because it didn't have petticoats and slips. Also, it was longer than the dress had been, but not much; it still would have been hard to sit like a lady with the skirt under me; I'd have to sit like a little girl with it just spread out behind, but that was fine by me, I didn't want to be a lady really yet.

And Mama smiled just because I was happy, and started to put me in my car seat, which was harder because there wasn't a back door, and before she had me in I jumped up because I remembered Holly. Mama said Mommy would get her for me, but I was real afraid she would forget because Holly was in the gym, not her office with my books and stuff. So Mama let me go get her, and when the girls saw me they all stopped their practicing, both the cheerleaders and the volleyball team, and they yelled that I was cute in the skirt and some even whistled, like is rude to do at girls but they were kidding. One of the cheerleaders said I should spin around and see if I could get the skirt up enough to show my 'overs' (she meant my panties, but called them that because of what I told you about.) and I did, and I could make the skirt fly out, but I don't think it was far enough to let people see anything. And someone said I should curtsy, and I thought that that was teasing and shook my head; but some more asked me, and I wasn't sure they were all being mean so I did, and they all smiled and giggled, which was different from when people laughed at me. So I smiled and giggled too, and me and Holly ran to get back to the car.

Mama drove us to a big Mall, the same one Mommy and I had gone to on Sunday to buy school clothes, but I didn't think anyone would remember me being a boy on Sunday. Before we went in Mama wanted to put some barrettes in my hair, and I asked  her if she could give me puppy-dog-ears like I had last night, but she didn't have the right kind of holders or ribbons, but the barrettes had rows of flowers on them and were pretty too.

I was going to tell you all about shopping and the hair cut I got, that didn't really make my hair shorter much, and about my new necklace and bracelet. But I took to much time talking about school and the cheerleaders. Those are important too; because it is Carl and Henry that helped me decide that looking like a girl was OK even around boys; and the cheerleaders is important because - I guess I'll tell you ahead of it happening - the volleyball team is going to say it's OK to be a cheerleader, because I'll do it at their games. So I'll have to talk about all the shopping stuff next time and, also, about how you shouldn't make every night something exciting for little kids, like the mistake that Mama and Mommy both had made.

[Toni]

Chapter X.X.XII: JB's Clothes and Haircut.

So we went into the store. It was the same store that Mommy and I had gone to first on Sunday, but nobody recognized me, because I was in a skirt this time I guess.

Mama just wanted to do tops, that's what she always calls shirts, and some prettier shorts here. The tops we got were really neat ones! Not any t-shirts, except one that I loved that was yellow and had pink shinny butterflies flying around on it. The rest were other kinds; they mostly only had strings to tie at the shoulders, but some had straps, and then came down a little to get to the real shirt part. One that I really liked was gathered up to a spot in the middle of my chest and when I had that on it looked sorta like I had real boobies, like a big girl. That one was white with lots of pink flowers above the boobie part then pink where it spread out below that. Another was purple all over and fit real tight but it didn't even come to my bellybutton so I could never wear it to school even if I started going there as a girl sometimes.

I only got two pairs of shorts, but finally I got some with some pretty designs on them. And that was all we were suppose to get at that store, but I asked Mama for some stretchy pants things that came halfway from my knee and ankle and were all rainbow strips going across, and though they looked like tights in a way they aren't because sometimes girls don't were anything over the tops, and I got a pink pair like that too. And Mama saw this jade colored shirt that looked like a boy's knit shirt with the color and all, but it was way long, and at the bottom it spread out into a pleated skirt, and that was neat even if it didn't have designs on it at all.

Then Mama wanted to go to a second store. It was fancier, I think and didn't have all the different parts but just had clothes for kid's, nice clothes mostly, and we started with dresses like Glyn had worn on the trip to the beach, and I got to get three of those. One, my favoritest, was yellow and orange and only had one place where it tied behind my neck, and when I wore it it kinda felt like it didn't touch me anywhere at all. The second favorite was a light pinkish-purple, that was all bunched together at the top in little tight ruffles kinda, and spread out from a waist (my Mama called it that but it was way above my bellybutton when I had it on). And the third also had two ties at the shoulders, but spread out right from the top and was yellow with big blue and pink flowers all over.

And I got three skirts too, one yellow and green and pink plaid, one very bright pink and stretchy and tight and short, and one that was three layers like the one I was wearing but pink and purple. Then I got an orange, a yellow, and a baby-blue pair of skorts, which I found out is what those things girls wear that make you think they have on a skirt but are really shorts.

The bad thing was that when Mama put them on me in the little room, she just made me stand on the bench a second, then she would take it off of me. Finialy I told her it wasn't fair that I could walk in them and see if the dresses were good for twirling and stuff, and I couldn't see them in a mirror. So then I got to walk back into the store and see the others, and we tried about ten, to pick all the stuff, and lots of the ladies that worked in the store told me how pretty I looked, and even some of the other mamas shopping smiled at me.

The other bad thing was that they all came down to my knee or under, but Mama said she could fix that with her sewing machine, and they would all be the right length, which was just below my bottom or else half way to my knees for some

I never use to like shopping, you know, but this was fun, because I got to look at stuff that I couldn't ever before, and I got to try different stuff, and didn't get yelled at when I had good ideas about what to buy. And even thought it was real, real long still, I decided to wear my best new dress, the yellow and orange one, out of the store.

Mama said we had one more store to go to after that one, and it was for even fancier stuff!! But she said we didn't have time before my hair appointment.

That scared me! I had just got all these wonderful clothes, and I was gonna get a hair cut! But Mama said that good hair people could make hair look nicer without making it shorter. I don't know how they can do that, and I was still worried a whole lot, but I promised I'd let them try and not cry until they were done.

While we were waiting we walked around looking just in windows and at some other stuff, and I practiced twirlling my new dress until I bumped into this man, and both Mama and I said we were very sorry, but he just smiled and thought it was funny. And we looked at this little counter in the middle of where you walked from store to store and they had necklaces and bracelets and earrings and stuff. I looked at all the pretty earrings mostly and wished I could get holes in my ears for them, but I didn't want it to hurt, and I didn't think I could do that and be a boy at school either though some boys did, but really it was usually the meanest boys, which was weird but seemed that way, because no one would say nothing to them, I guess.

While I was looking at some pretty earrings with diamonds in them, Mama called me over and she had bought something. I was a piece of green rock that was shaped like a little heart, and she put it on me with a gold chain so it only came down to where that little notch is in my throat, and she said, "A jade heart for my little Jade."

I smiled real big because it was the first necklace I'd ever, ever had, and when the girl selling stuff heard that was my name she went and talked to the other lady and came back and said I could have something else made of jade for half price. I was hard to pick but I decided on a bracelet of jade beads, but when I tried it on it was way too long for my arm, but the girl said I could wear it on my ankle until I was bigger. And I think it looked even nicer there. Really.

Then we had to go to the Hair cut place, and I walked slow and I had my thumb in my mouth as I went in, because I was scared about what they were going to do. Before, when I lived in group homes, we got hair cuts about every other month, and the man would just use those electric razor things and make the hair real short. Last spring I got sick on hair cut day by putting my finger way in my throat the way a girl showed me she got out of school some thimes, and they let me miss a hair cut. Then I move houses because they knew I might go with my Mom, and I didn't have a hair cut because it wasn't hair cut day while I was at that house. And my mom never took me to get a haircut because they cost money. So it had been almost eight months since I had had one, and I finally kind of liked my hair, though it was kinda messy looking, at least it wasn't dumb looking. Now it was going to be short again.

But this place was different right away. It smelled different, and I guess I should have known there were girls, as well as boys, getting their hair cut there (since I was a girl right then.). Also, they had ladies to do all the hair cutting. And a nice lady came over to me and talked to Mama about my hair and Mama said we wanted to look better but to let it get longer, and the lady didn't say, "Then why are you here to get it cut," or something. Instead she said, "OK, we can do a lot. Layering will bring out some of her nice little curls, and she should have bangs, I think."

I said, "I still want to have puppy-dog-ears. Do you know what those are?"

And the lady said, "Of Course! I specialize in kid's hair. How could I not know about the best ways?" and she smiled and had me climb up in the big chair and put a pink plastic cover with puppies playing on it all over me, and she tilted me way, way back and she washed my hair and asked me about my new necklace and ankle bracelet and what a nice name Jade was while she did everything.

And when she tilted me forward there was a boy that I didn't recognize coming to get into the chair next to me, and he said, "Hey! Hi, JB."

And I smiled and thought maybe it was a kid from school or something, and he said, "Remember? From the beach?"

And then he was under a blue cover, and all I could see was his face, and he was Greg, who I hadn't seen in clothes very much, so I said, "Hi."

And he wasn't getting his hair washed, just cut, and we talked while the two ladies worked on our hair for a long, long time, and I told him I didn't want short hair, and he said he didn't either, but they just put it in place at this barber's. And the ladies told us they were stylist, not barbers. And they didn't use those razor things on us at all.

And then when my lady was all done with clipping she turned me to look in the mirror, and it wasn't very much shorter at all, and did look fluffier, and I asked if she had things to do puppy-dog-ears, and she did." And she added bright yellow ribbon to them because she had seen my new dress.

But Greg said, "Boys don't wear their hair like that," real, real loud.

And because I had just remembered about all of that and him not knowing I was shopping as a girl today, I said, "But I'm not a boy, Greg!" and I hoped he would understand and be nice, but knew that most boys aren't.

And Greg said, "You are too. I felt your wiener."

And both of the ladies were real quite, and Greg's mother came over, and he looked real embarrassed and I felt like crying and might have been, and I jumped out of the chair to run to Mama. And I heard Greg say, "We had wiener, hot dogs, at the beach. And I thought you were a boy is all...." But I didn't wait to listen and Mama told the haircut lady that I was a bit of a tomboy, and didn't wear a top at the beach yet. And she smiled and said to come back, and was still nice but I don't know what she thought at all, and I wanted to never go back at all.

[Toni]

Chapter X.X.XIII: JB Is Frightened

I was really scared. What if that jerk came out into the mall and started pointing at me and yelling about me being a boy and my wiener even?

When we were out of the shop Mama grabbed me and picked me up. I think I was shaking, and Mama started rubbing my back as she carried me to a bench. I sat in her lap, and she hugged me and said it was all OK. Then she said, "Those two girls in the shop weren't surprise by what that boy said, Jade. They already knew, baby."

I stopped sobbing and looked at her face. She said, "Sweetheart, I know them, and they know that there are some girls that have to look like boys sometimes. They know how to give haircuts that work for girls like that, and that is why we went there. I think what he said about touching you might have surprised them, but they do know that children like to explore too."

"But the other people in the shop?" I asked.

"No one heard any of that, hon. Only me and his mama were in the back part. They all just wondered why you got so upset."

"Really?"

"Really. You feel better now? Because we still have to do more shopping and eat dinner. You ready?"

I shook my head; I wanted to just be held some more and Mama was OK with that. I put my head on her b*est and my hand too. I really wanted to nuzzle but knew this wasn't a good place of course. After a minute I said, "Can we go home and finish another time?"

Mama was stroking my hair and said, "We can if we must, pumpkin." People were walking by and saw where I was touching her, but she didn't mind and the people all just smiled.

Mama said, "You know we mostly bought clothes for a big girl so far. I wanted to get some for a cute little girl too."

"I want to nuzzle, Mama," I said.

"OH, well let's see if we can find somewhere to do that. First, we need to take some things to the car though. OK?"

I nodded, and she took my hand. We had to go back to the hair place to get the bags because I had left so fast, and I hid behind her as we went in. That boy was gone, think goodness, and the hair ladies smiled and said hello to me. Even though they were cutting other kids hair, they stopped and told me to come and look in the mirror; I hadn't really done that before.

I stood on one of the empty chairs, and the lady that had cut my hair held me, and pointed at the mirror and said what a pretty little girl was inside it, and I giggled because I thought there was one there too, a girl with curlier hair and with little pigtails, puppy-dog-ears, and bright yellow ribbons. The lady got a damp cloth and wiped my face off, and then she kissed my forehead and asked if I felt better, and I nodded and smiled, and Mama smiled too.

We had tons of bags, and it was hard for us to carry them all, but we did, and Mama and I carried on together, because we couldn't hold hands and get all of them.

We had just got into the parking lot when I heard that boy yell, "JB!"

I dropped all the bags started to run to our car. I was about to cross one of the paths between rows of cars when I heard the loud squeal and then a honk! And I jumped and dodged towards some parked cars and the car was still honking, and Mama ran up, she had dropped all her bags too, and the man in the honking car yelled, "Hold her hand, damn it, lady." And Mama came over, and she grabbed me, and I was already crying because that man had scared me so much, and Mama spanked me right on my bottom three times. And I cried louder, and she hugged me real tight and said, "Baby, baby Jade, please, please don't ever, ever do that again."  And she was kneeling and hugging and rocking back and forth, and I cried harder.

And that stupid lady and that stupid boy were walking towards us, and carring our stuff, and I tried to hide inside Mama, but they kept comming. The lady said, "Is he all right?" And Mama glared meanly at the lady but didn't tell her to go away.

The boy came over and said, "I'm sorry, JB. I didn't mean it."

Mean what? To get me hit by a car? To tell the world you had touched me there? What?

And his mother said, "Greg, does mean that, Jade, he would like to talk to you when you feel better. He has something to tell you." Then she gave a piece of paper to Mama and said, "Look at this and, then maybe you could meet us in the food court in a little while. Please." And she took Greg's hand and they walked away.

Mama stood up and looked at the paper, and then we picked up the bags, and she said, "Come on, honey, it's OK."

This time Mama carried more bags in one hand so she could hold my hand, and we walked slow. I noticed my bottom felt weird, but it took me several steps before I realized I was dirty. I whispered, because I was still crying, "Mama, I pooed."

Mama said, "I know," so it must have happened before she spanked me. "That happens when we are scared, pumpkin. It's OK."

She went and folded down the seat behind her seat in the car, the part next to where my car seat was. Then she piled all of the bags in the front and took my dress off. While I stood there in just my dirty panties she examined the dress to make sure it was all clean. Then we went to the back of the car and she opened it up, the triangle type part, and she put me in the back lying down, and then, right in the parking lot, she started to take my panties off of me. I just put my arms across my face and put my thumb in my mouth. Mama had a big bag she kept stuff for me in and when she started spreading the cream and powders around I started feeling nice again.

Mama handed me a picture to look at while she worked. It was a picture of a girl with short hair a pink bow in it and wearing a pink dress that had a tight pink top that was sparkly.

Mama started to put me in a diaper but I was afraid someone would see them with this dress and told her it was a big girl dress and the accident was only because I was scared. And she actually let me, just because I asked. She had a pink of pink panties in her bag and put those on me; she told me to keep them hidden as well as I would a diaper because they clashed with my yellow and orange dress. That was silliness because people are always supposed to keep there panties hidden, even little girls so no one worried about the colors matching, do they? 

Then she asked if I would mind having dinner with the girl in the picture, and I said OK, but could we nuzzle first. And she said we needed to tell them we were coming, and then we could. And we went back to the mall, and Mama held my hand the whole time of course.

When we got to the food court, there weren't many people there because it was a Tuesday, but I saw that boy and his Mother sitting over in an all most empty part was in the back, and Mama waved to them! And then she started walking back to that part, and I pulled on her arm because I didn't want to go there, and Mama got down on a knee and held my chin and said, "I thought you wanted to have dinner with the little girl in the picture, Jade?"

And I nodded and thought and looked at the picture and giggled, and Mama took the picture and put it back in her purse and said, "I don't know if Greg knows you have seen that, OK?" 

I smiled and Mama picked me up and we went to the seats in the back.

There was a long bench, and I sat next to Greg. He started talking about how sorry he was and how embarrassed and all that and, because I kept thinking about the picture and the hair ladies knowing anyway, it all seemed silly, and I went over and kissed his cheek all the sudden without thinking about it, and he blushed and got quiet.

Mama told them we needed some time alone before we ate, and Greg's mom said they would go and get the food for everyone. Then Mama moved over to the bench, took a shawl from her big bag, and undid her blouse and bra.

I opened my eyes real big and said, "Here?"

And she nodded. I looked around and saw that nobody was coming into this part of the eating area, I guess that was because it had little kid pictures around and some short tables and no one else had kids with them. So I lay across Mama's lap and got her nipple in my mouth and she put the shawl over my head and her shoulder.

Even though I didn't feel so bad about Greg and stuff, it was still real nice. And I heard Greg's mom tell him to hush when they got back, but didn't care if he knew I did this because I hadn't done it long enough yet. And I heard his mother whisper, "It wasn't that long ago that you did that, honey. Do you remember?" And I heard Greg say, "Uh huh."

Then he sat down next to me and I felt him pat my back, and that was OK too. Then he put his hand on my leg and I felt him grab my tube again, only not hard this time, but it took me by surprise, and I sat up real fast and said, "Hey!!"

And Greg blushed again, and mumbled "Na - sorry. Just wanted to see if you still had it, because you look so nice in the dress." And he obviously knew that was a silly thing to think that I didn't in only a few days, and I smiled and leaned back on to Mama's arm, but took Greg's arm and pushed it up under my dress and onto my panties. After he had felt my thing was still there he started to take his hand away, but I reached for it and put it back, and he let me and kept it there while I finished nuzzling. And it was OK with Mama and with his mother for children to explore.

[Toni]

Chapter X.X.XIV:JB's New Friend

Greg got his fingers inside the legs of my unders and was stroking my wiener, which was real hard. I gurgled even though I wasn't really drinking anything. Mama giggled; then she pulled away and said the food was getting cold. When I sat up Greg leaned over and kissed me, right on the lips.

Mama spread a napkin out on the table and she brook up my chicken pieces into even smaller pieces for me, and pored part of the bottle of juice into a sippy-cup. Greg's mom had some moist hand wipes, and she used them on his hands though he kept trying to do it himself, and even though my parts were clean because Mama had cleaned them in the car (I didn't tell them that though.

Greg's mom, who was called Ms Johnson, asked Mama to sit with her at a different table (and Greg told Mama he could help me, which is the kind of thing that still makes me chuckle because I knew I was older than he is, but that I really don't mind and even kind of like to hear.) I sat next to him on the bench and sometimes while I ate I'd but my hand on his pants and bush his tube and we just giggled a lot and told some joke, I guess, but I don't even thank we really even talked that much, but it was fun and, when we were done eating, he got a new hand-wipe and he made me let him wash my hands and face for me.

When we had finished eating I went over to Mama and asked if she had the barrettes I'd worn before my haircut, and she asked if I wanted to take out my pigtails. Of course I didn't, but didn't tell her what I want the barrettes for, and I took them over and made Greg let me put them in his hair. And I acted like I didn't know, and asked if he ever like to pretend to be a girl.

He didn't really answer the question; he said, "I don't look right, people would know."

I told him, "If you think you're a girl, people will think you are what you say you are. Just go into girl mode, Greg." Because I had found that out pretty good for myself lately.

He smiled and kept the barrettes in his hair, and the haircut ladies had obviously given him a haircut for girls that had to be boys sometimes too. I thought he looked like a cute girl (only not a real, real cute girl. Like some of the volleyball girls and lots of the soccer players, not like the cheerleaders though.), and I showed him himself in one of the mirrors they had around the tables we were at. He smiled when he saw himself.

I asked him what his name was in a whisper and he said it was Greg, like a dummy. So I said, "No, what is her name," and pointed at the girl in the mirror.

He said, "OH, don't know. Mom just calls me 'honey' and stuff when I'm dressed as a girl." That was the first time he had told me he did that, you know, and he put his hand over his mouth like he could take the words back that way, and I giggled at his silliness. He said, "Greta or Grace is all that sound like my name; I don't like those, and my middle name is dumb."

I asked what it started with and he said N. So I said, "How about Gene then," and he said, "Gina's better."

The grown-ups had finally finished eating and called us over. They both told Greg he looked cute, and smiled at the way I had fixed his hair all by myself

Greg's mom said they were going to come and help me pick out the party dress that we still had to get. (I hadn't known that was the kind of dress we still had to get, but I knew Mama wanted a dress that was for a littler girl than the other things we had got.) First Mama wanted me to go potty, just in case like always it seems even though I had gone in the parking lot a little while ago.

Greg's mom put her hands on his shoulders and made him follow us. Even though he had the barrettes in, he looked all around to make sure no one saw him go in, so I grabbed his hand to make him hurry. Mama and I went in to the special extra big stall, and Greg went into the one next to it. While we were in there I asked Greg what his favorite doll was. (I had learned that girls could talk while in those places, even though boys can't never.) He waited (I think he didn't know about girls being able to do that, or he just wasn't in girl mode enough yet.) and I had to ask again before he said it was "Sandy", which is one of the storybook dolls that goes with mine in the books, so I told him I had "Britney", which I did.

I wasn't sure if he really had that doll or was just pretending, but he started telling me about some of Britney's stories that I didn't know, so he sure liked the books for real at least.

I did need to pee a lot it turned out, so Mama was right about it being a good idea to try. After she got me cleaned up (she liked to wipe that part off too, although boys didn't do that.), I had to wait in the stall while she did her own business. And Greg and I kept talking through the walls, and I heard one lady come in while we did that, and she even reminded Greg about part of a story that he had missed (she had read it to her granddaughter she told us.)

Greg had had on a pair of baggy boy shorts and a soccer jersey that was way to big for him like most all kid's teams give their players. When Mama was done, and I got out of the stall I saw that he had taken the shorts off and let the shirt go down and it came almost to his knees, and you couldn't tell he didn't have shorts on, and I had seen some girls do that before. Also, his mom had made him take his socks off, and he had dark blue running shoes on and that looked more girlish without socks. His mom was bushing his hair and pulling his bangs around front and moving the part up to the middle, and then put the barrettes back like I'd done them.

I giggled when he was done, because now he looked better than almost any of the soccer girls did. I kissed him because I was so happy and tried to get him to pick me up, and he did but couldn't walk at all with me, so I got down and held his hand instead. And we walked ahead of the grown-ups to the next store and we skipped mostly, but if we got to fast our Mamas had to tell us to stop, and we would for a few steps, and Greg - I mean Gina - showed me how to skip in slow motion.

We finally go to the store that Mama wanted to go to. It was real small on the outside, but it had a mannequin of a lady dressed in a really, really extra, extra pretty dress in it window; I think it was only for princesses or queens maybe. Inside there were even more beautiful dresses, and they were all on the mannequin things or special frames, not just hangers like most stores.

Mama went to talk to a lady at the back o the store and Gina and I had to just look with out touching anything. Then Mama called to me and we went to a back room that was filled with clothes almost as fancy but for kids!

Lots and lots had real lace on the sleeves and came with special hats or rings of flowers for the hair. Mama went to some dress on the back row and made me stand very still and held them up to me. I thought they were all wonderful, but Mama put most of them back, even the one that was pink and had little shiny straps on the shoulders and the bottom part had a see-through dress part over the real dress under it, and it came all the way to the floor.

I knew she wanted littler girl stuff, so I guess that was too grownup. She picked about five, and we and the store lady went even further back to a room with a curtain, and Mama took my dress off me and I stood on a stool while they put the other things on me.

The first thing I got put in was blue and white and had this little flap at the back that had an anchor sewn on to it. It just dropped straight down from the shoulders with no waist at all and two big pleats that started right at the shoulders too, and it came almost to my knees, but the lady said that they could shorten it as much as we wanted to. It had a straw sailors hat that came with it that I thought was just real, real cute, but I don't think Mama liked it much.

The second one was made just the same way but it didn't have sleeves or the flap or the hat. It was bright, pretty yellow (One o my favorite colors!) and had a little, round white collar and a very, very big white bow at the neck with strings that hung down almost to the bottom of the dress. I was too long too, but that could be fixed! And Mama liked it almost as much as me!

The next one was pink (I think that is Mama's favorite color.) and it had a satiny top with a waist part that was too high now but was supposed to be right under where my boobies would be if I had had those, and below the satiny part it was velvet, or felt like it was, and had a see through layer over that. I think Mama liked it a lot.

The forth one was pink too. It had sparkly things around the whole top part and that came real low for the waist part, rather than real high, and the bottom stuck almost straight out and had a built in petticoat of stiff stuff. I liked it was shiny and all but, it fit real tight around my top and was real itchy, and I could hardly stand still while the lady fixed it.

That last was also pink again, and it looked most like the dress I wore at Mama's party the other day that I'd borrowed from Glyn, with a satiny top, a waist that was almost at my real waist but was supposed to be a bit closer to my bellybutton the lady said, and then a white, ruffly bottom part with roses in it, and it had a white collar with more roses, and a white ribbon for a belt that tied in back with bigger roses. And the lady said that it didn't need to be shortened because what they would do is raise the waist so that the ruffley part stopped at my bottom, and that I could wear either a pink or white petticoat under it.

She also said it had special panties that came with it too, and she went to get some that were the right size. They were even prettier than the rest of the dress; the same pink color, with white, ruffly, lacey trim around the legs, and more tiny roses in the lace. But they also had three rows of the lace with the roses going right across the bottom. And the lady pulled the skirt part up to where the waist should be, and Mama started to take off my panties, and I was real, real surprised, but when the lady saw my boy parts she wasn't surprised at all.

When Mama had the panties on me the lady said, "Nora, have you ever taped down things to make it look flat there. I know she doesn't show much but with some things, like these, it might be a good idea."

Mama said, "Well we have been using panties a size small. She doesn't mind and it holds things well, and I was thinking we could just use a pad occasionally. That would help with other problems too."

"Yes," the lady said, "but let me show you what to do. On more formal occasions, where things will show, or if she ever wants to wear tight shorts, taping might be a good idea. But it might be difficult if it is always that little button I just saw."

[Toni]

Chapter X.X.XV: JB and Gina



The lady started to unbutton the pink dress and Mama pulled the lacey panties off me. When I was naked they laid me down across two stools like the one I'd been standing on, and the lady started fiddling with my wiener. I was lying there with no clothes on and this woman that never even talked to me hardly was doing that?



I tried to wiggle and get away, but she said, "Be still, child, I need to make this grow a bit longer so I can show Nora something."



I moaned and reached for Mama, and she came and petted my head and put my thumb in my mouth. I left the thumb there but grabbed Mama's hand I pushed it down towards my middle. Finally she understood and said, "Maybe I should do this, Mary," and sat me on her lap and took over the fiddling.



That was much better. The lady said, "Stroke her little sack too, Nora, and make it more flaccid."



"It doesn't get much softer than it is, Mary," Mama said.



"I see," said the lady. "You have noticed she has only one testicle too."



"Yes, we have a doctor's appointment soon."



I was getting much more relaxed because of what Mama was doing, but then she said, "This is about as long as it gets, it does get stiffer though."



The lady said, "OK, lets see what we can do." I was laid down again and the Lady took my tube and folded it down to point at my bottom. She put it inside me but it must have gone too far because she took it back out and taped it down. Then she pushed my pebble up inside, and pulled on my sack, trying to get it wrapped over the tube and taped it like that. Then they put the panties back on me and stood me back up.



"See it is smoother," the lady said.



"But really, Mary, one would have to look very close to tell anyway, don't you think?" Mama asked.



"Oh, yes, Nora, but it might come in handy someday."



I put my hand down on the panties, and it sure felt different to me, all smooth and it wasn't really uncomfortable right now. The lady said, "Jade, don't do that when you are taped, honey. It could hurt if you got too hard, baby."



I pulled my hands away, but I did like the way it looked even if Mama thought it wasn't that different, and I liked wearing the pink lacey panties too.



"Can I show Gina?" I asked.



"Is that Greg's name?" Mama asked. "She's trying on some things too I think. Let's put the dress back on, and we will go find her."



I said, "I want to show her just these panties and how flat I am now. Please. Please."



Mama smiled at the lady, but said I should show Gina the dress too and, once i was in it, she took my hand and we walked, well I mostly skipped and dance, out to the shop, and some other ladies that were shopping smiled and giggled and asked if I could spin for them, and then we went into another room, and I saw Gina standing on a stool like I had been.



She had on a beautiful dress. It was all white and came almost to her ankles and a lady was pinning it there, and the sleeves were all billowy and fluffy and had ruffles at the cuffs and it had a bow at the neck, but a little one. And it had a pink velvet part all over her chest that came to a triangle pointing right to her privates and little beads on the edges of that part, and it looked like Gina had little bumps where her boobies would have been. She smiled real big when I came in, and I smiled back because she was so pretty.



Then I remembered and said, "Look at my bottom," and showed Gina the lacey ruffles at the back and then said, "and look her," and rubbed where my tube should be to show how smooth it was.



Gina mouth opened, and she said, "Where'd it go?"



And I said, "Mama and the lady hid it inside me!"



Then I had to go back so the lady could do the pinning stuff on my dresses, and they left the tape on while they did both dresses. Besides the last pink one with the little roses and the special, pretty panties, I got the yellow one with the long bow on it that I'd tried on second. And the only bad thing was I got no hat, but the lady had a straw hat with a blue ribbon that she said she would change to a yellow one and I could have that too when I came back to get the dresses on Friday.



When we were almost done with all the pinning and stuff, Gina and her Mom came in, and Gina was now wearing a pink blouse with tiny, flap-like sleeves and a long white dress, which might have been a slip really, and had ruffles of lace at the very bottom.



They watched as the lady used this special stuff that made the tape come off easier and she said was a good idea even though I still didn't have any hair at all down there. And Gina's mom asked lots of questions, so I guess that he had more of a problem with his tube showing then I did. I remembered it was bigger around.



We walked though the mall to the parking lot and this time didn't have any bags to carry because everything needed to be worked on. I put my arm around Gina and leaned against her as we walked, and she put her arm across my shoulder, and I said, "Are we going to be friends? Can you come over and play with me sometime?"



Gina said, "Maybe, but sixth graders don't really have first grade friends for all the time, Jade."



"I'm not really in first grade," I said, but I didn't tell her what grade I was in.



She chuckled and said, "Or second grade best friends either. But sure we can play sometimes, OK?"



"I could pretend to be bigger for a while, or you could pretend to be littler," I said.



She laughed and said, "I don't know if pretending would work with that."



"It works with being a girl, doesn't it? It can work with bigness too, at least for me. 'Sides, girls like to play with littler kids lots," I pointed out.



"Yeah, but remember I'm not really a girl."



"You not pretending hard enough! Do you want to be though?" I asked.



"Don't know. I like having a wiener; it fells good and girls ain't got nothing."



I giggled and said, "But girls like their crack too, and it feels nice inside them too."



"It does?" Gina said. She sounded surprised I knew.



"Yeah," I said, "and they get to wear pretty stuff and boys only get yucky stuff. You like that don't you?"



"Yeah, that is the good part, and the part my mom likes I think. I don't think my dad does though. We have to keep it secret from him and my big brother too. I don't want them ever to find out I like to dress up sometimes. After last weekend, I started being naked around the house, and both of them got used to that. I don't think they would to me wearing stuff."



"Oh, yeah," I said. I hadn't ever had many men I lived with, just the bosses at some of the foster homes, and they didn't like lots of things.



Gina said, "I like doing boy stuff, like riding bikes in the woods and wrestling around and climbing on stuff that girls only get to do sometimes."



I said, "Still it's better to be a tomboy than a sissy; you don't kid beat-up as much. And if we were boys right now we couldn't even hold hands or hug. And boys fight and tease and girls don't."



"I think it would still be better to be a boy who can do girl stuff it that were just possible. Some girls can be even meaner, you know, Jade. You'll find that out when you're older." Gina said. And I nodded because I remembered lots of girls like that at foster homes and my old schools.



We got to the place in the parking lot where we had to go different ways, and I kissed Gina on the lips and said, "Bye-bye." She hugged me then held her mom's hand as they walked away (That was another good thing about being a girl. But there were good things about being a boy, I just couldn't remember any right then.)



And I put my arms up and Mama carried me and I put my head on her shoulder because I was getting tried. We had to move the tons of bags from the front seat, and I had to pull my dress way, way up to get the car seat buckled between my legs.



When Mama got out of the parking space I stopped eating the pretend candy on my thumb and said, "Mama, are there boys that have to act like girls sometimes, like there are girls that have to be boys sometimes."



Mama said, "I think so, there are boys that accidentally got put in boy bodies, just like there are girls stuck in boys bodies, sweetheart."



That wasn't what I was thinking about, and I said, "But what if they have right body, but just gotta feel and act like girls sometimes. Is that OK?"



Mama didn't answer until she had made a turn, but then she said, "Of course, baby, that can happen too, honey."



I said, "Can I have a bottle, Mama?" And she pulled in next to a gas station and put some juice in one and gave me it. I drank it the whole way home, and didn't even hide it when we pulled up next to other cars because I was being real, real little just then, and nobody in the other cars minded at all.