Part 1
My problems started when I was a mere 11 months old, and one month after my sister was born. It was nothing I or my sister did, but my dad, he left us and went off with another woman. At that point my mother decided that I was not going to grow to be like him. She decided that I would become the baby of the family and that my sister Mary would get preferential treatment in all things.
My first real indications were on my sisterâs second birthday when my Aunty Helen came over for tea. She handed her present to Mary, which turned out to be two floral pinafores. Mary was very happy with her presents and mum said she could wear one of them at teatime.
It was at teatime when I realised just how my different life was going to be, when we got to the table my Mother lifted Mary and placed her on the booster seat that I had been using.
âThatâs my placeâ I said.
âIt wasâ said my mother âbut itâs meant for big children not babies who wear bibs, Maryâs a big girl now with a big girls pinny to wear. As youâre still using bibs you must be the baby and babies sit in high chairsâ said mum. I was about to comment when mum cut me off. âI donât want to hear it. I have made a decision and itâs final, until I say so you will sit there for all your meals and wear a bib.â This was unfair as mother had always placed a bib on both of us at meal times. Before I knew what was happening Aunty Helen was lifting me up and seating me in Maryâs high chair, causing Mary to giggle loudly, aunty then snapped the tray in to place effectively trapping me in.
âIâm not a babyâ I said emphatically indignantly which mum ignored.
âHelen can you sort out a nice pretty bib for our little babyâ said mother âyouâll find them in the draw over there.â My Auntie went over and opened a drawer
âI see you have both their bibs in this draw.â
âActually as Mary has got her pinnyâs now and all those bibs are for babies, they must all be Daniels now, so you can pick anyone you want and put it on him.â
âWell it will have to be this oneâ said my aunty with a big smile on her face. She turned round and to my horror she was holding up one of Maryâs bibs, not one of the plain ones either, this one was bright pink edged in white lace, embroidered on it were the words âMummyâs Girlâ. Despite my protests I ended up wearing it causing them all to laugh at the way I looked. To add to my humiliation Aunty Helen insisted on spoon feeding me herself even after I said that I could feed myself. Then once she had finished her tea, she removed me from the high chair and had me sit on her lap to drink milk from a babies bottle, even Mary had been using a feeder beaker for a while now.
My sister was enjoying this as she was allowed to feed herself and use my grown up beaker. I was placed back in the high chair whilst mum and aunty cleared the table. Once they had cleared up I was released from the high chair and went to remove the bib I was wearing. âLeave that onâ mum said âbabies have to wait for a grown up to remove their bibs, they certainly never remove their own, you can keep it on until bedtime now. I suppose I should sort out all the bibs for you, we donât need them all as we only have one baby to look after now.â So saying she picked up two carrier bags then pulled out the draw and followed us in to the lounge where she tipped all the bibs out on to the coffee table.
âWhat are the bags for?â asked my aunt.
âWell the bibs we keep will go back in the draw for baby to use, the rest we will split into those still good enough to go to a charity shop in one bag and the rest in the other to go for recycling.â
With the help of my aunt and my sister, I was told that I wasnât big enough to help, she first split them into boys and girls bibs. They then split up the boys bibs and placed them in the carrier bags.
âMum those bibs need to go on the drawâ I insisted.
âNo dear, you look so sweet in that bib you have on that I have decided you can wear Maryâs bibs as sheâs too old for them now.â
âBut I donât want girlsâ bibs, I donât want bibs at all.â
âBabies wear whatever their mothers want and all babies wear bibs and your mum is right, that bib really suits youâ my aunt said. I then spent a humiliating half hour as mum insisted I try on all my sisterâs bibs, or as my sister delighted in reminding me, they were now my bibs. In the end they kept the ten frilliest and girly bibs for me to keep whilst my aunt selected a further fancy one to take home promising me that I would wear it when we visited her.
As it turned out I ended up wearing these and others, equally girlish and humiliating, that I was bought until I was nine much to my humiliation and my sisters amusement.
When we did go to my aunts, as she had promised, I had to wear the bib, but not just at meal times as my aunt insisted I wear it all the time that I was at her house. The first time we went we arrived mid morning and no sooner were we in than my aunt produced the bib.
âIs that the bib from our house that you chose?â asked mum.
âYes, but you probably donât recognise it I added the lace frill and changed the ties for long pink ribbons to make it prettier.â
âWell it certainly is pretty. Daniel why donât you ask your aunty nicely to put your pretty bib on you?â Mum had recently added the embarrassment of making me ask for my bibs, sometimes having to ask my sister.
âPlease aunty can I wear that pretty bib?â My aunt obviously didnât want to make it easy for me.
âDo you mean can you wear your pretty baby girls bib, baby?â
âYes please.â
âWell say so then.â
âPlease aunty can I wear that⌠my pretty baby girls bib. Please?â I asked reluctantly.
âOf course you can cherubâ replied my aunt accompanied by giggles from my sister. She tied it on me tying the ribbons in to a big bow. âYou look so sweet. Now who would like a drink?â We all did. As it was a hot day it being early summer my aunt suggested we had our drinks outside. Wearing my bib I was reluctant to exit the house but was not given any choice. Aunty Helen spread a blanket on the lawn for Mary and I whilst mum sat at the table on a garden chair. Mary had brought two dolls with her and once we had sat down she held one out to me saying âHere we are baby I brought you a dolly to play with.â
âNo thank you.â
âDaniel donât be so mean, Mary has brought you a dolly and you will play dollies together or else.â Her tone left me in no doubt as to the painful alternative, so I reluctantly took the proffered doll. At this point my aunt returned with a tray of drinks.
My aunt placed cups of coffee for her and mum on the table and approached Mary and I, she handed Mary a glass of orange then to my horror held out a babies bottle of milk complete with rubber teat. I was going to complain to mum until I saw the look on her face.
âSay thank you then babyâ she said âand make sure you drink it nicely.â
âThank you aunty.â
âThatâs alright baby I knew you would prefer a bottle. Can you manage or would you like me to feed it to you or perhaps youâd like Mary to?â
âNo thank you aunty I can manage.â
I did not get to remove the bib until just before we left and even then was made to thank my aunt for allowing me to wear such a pretty baby girls bib.
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It was Maryâs persuasion that led to my having to use a high chair and wear a bib for all my meals until I started school. Every time Mum suggested I sit up at the table like a big boy Mary would point out something babyish about me and mum would agree and put me back in the high chair. It took quite a fight to get out of using my high chair and only managed it when Mary started to go to playgroup and started the day before I began school. I spent the morning working on mum until she agreed âas I was going to big schoolâ to put the high chair in the garage. Fortunately for me she did not bring it back in despite Maryâs attempt to get her to do so but my sister did convince her that I should still use my bibs, or perhaps I should say her bibs as mentioned before mum had only kept the bibs that Mary had worn.