Lost Souls

[nappy1]

Part 30

The shopping was the easiest part.  With her baby tucked up in the pram she was able to amble around the department store and gather the items she needed.  She would occasionally cast a maternal eye in his direction but Madison slept.

Soon she was able to carefully stash the shopping bags under the pram and head down the Mall.  She was pleased she was able to get the items she so needed – the nappy liners, nursing pads, two new nursing bras, a dozen new nappies of his own, and some adorable three piece pyjama sets – jacket, matching pilcher and footed crawlers.  Her selection of yellow, blue and lavender sets really made her day.  They weren’t really girlie she reasoned with herself, although they came from the baby girl section.  The colours could easily be used on a baby boy – her baby boy in particular. 

In the back of her mind she was mindful of his dirty nappy.  She couldn’t leave him in it for too long.  The last thing she wanted was a fractious baby with bad nappy rash.

She quickly headed to the Parents’ Room she had used earlier after finishing her shopping.  Jill was relieved to find it unoccupied.  She locked the door on entering and set about changing his nappy.  She turned him on his back ready to pick him up to lay him on the changing bench but stopped.  She didn’t want to disturb his slumber he looked so peaceful and angelic.  Instead she decided to change him while he lay in the pram.
Although she might be cramped for room, she reasoned, this tactic was in fact no different than changing him in his crib.  She readied everything she needed including a nappy liner which had been spread inside the clean nappy.

Slowly and methodically she lighted his dress and undomed his pilcher laying it flat.  This gave her a protective waterproof barrier between his very wet nappy and the pram mattress.  She smiled to herself at the sight of his drenched nappy.

“You’ve had a wonderful time, haven’t you angel,” she whispered mainly for her ears.  Madison stirred and shifted his legs bunching them together squeezing the wet cloth between them.  Jill chuckled to herself.  Carefully she extracted the nappy pins and opened the wet garment.  The pungent smell of poop and urine smacked her nostrils.  She didn’t recoil.  It was something she was used to. Using the damp front of the nappy she wiped most of the faecal matter into the nappy and then with a careful and measured upward wipe gathered the rest before balling it up and placing it on the floor.  Carefully gathering his ankles she washed his bottom with a damp cloth, dropping that to the floor before placing the clean dry soft nappy under his upturned bottom.  Gently she settled it on the soft mound before dousing his whole nappy area in baby powder and quickly and deftly pinning it in place.  The pilchers were then domed back in place before his dress was pulled down.  There!  He was changed and he barely stirred from his sleep.

Jill quickly tidied everything away, washed her hands before leaving the room.  She commenced her slow methodical walk around the Mall casually window shopping.  Occasionally she would glance at the small supine form in the pram before her.  Her baby was on full show and nobody had any inkling of what lay underneath and who he really was.  On the surface the baby girl lay – peaceful, unaware, innocent and trusting.  That was the key to it of course – the trust.  She was acutely aware that Madison had put his complete and total trust in her and she had not let him down.  It was a confidence builder for him but also one for her.  As far as Jill was concerned he had played his part almost flawlessly.  And she had delivered on completing the deception.  He needed the confidence to play the part of a baby and be a baby in every situation because that was the cornerstone to his continued existence and ultimate freedom from his past life.  Jill needed the confidence to continue with her plan for him - to shape its interior, exterior and structure. He gave her that confidence and she reciprocated. Jill, also, knew she had to be very careful in her planning and try to cover every eventuality, if that was possible, cover every bend and swerve on their combined journey.  She wanted a baby.  He wanted a mother.  She needed a baby.  He needed a mother.  Her greatest desire was to be the best mother.  His greatest desire was to be a…well Jill didn’t know that answer but every indication she received from Madison pointed to his desire to be a baby.  She may have tricked him initially but now he was fully immersing himself.  Jill had read somewhere – “Give me the child at seven and I’ll give you the man,” but in her case it was “Give me the child at ten and I’ll give you the baby!” A slow and satisfied smile crept across her mouth, around her eyes and over her body.  Everything was shaping up well, very well indeed.

Of course there was one nagging doubt, one dark cloud on the horizon – when would the authorities be notified.  When would his drunken father rouse himself from his alcoholic fog and think momentarily about his son, his well-being, and his whereabouts? How much time was there?  What were the warning signs?  How might the whole situation explode? And what repercussions would there be?  Would he do anything at all?  Would he care or notice his son’s absence?  Somehow Jill doubted this.  It was just a feeling, a notion, a vague apparition.  Time would tell.  There was no sense dwelling on it she mused.  Doing so would endanger his existence and hers.  She had to play each hand that was dealt and see which cards were played so counter strategies could be engaged.  Again, time would tell…

When she had seen enough Jill headed for the underground car park.  When the automatic doors opened she was hit by a sudden cool gust of air.  The day had definitely not improved.

After unloading everything into the large cavernous luggage area of the station-wagon she very gently and ever so carefully lifted her sleeping baby out of the pram and into his car seat.  He stirred and whimpered briefly flicking his eyes open and staring unseeing at her before closing them.  She buckled him in, closed the back door then placed the folded stroller in the luggage compartment.  Within a few minutes she had slowly cleared the car park and was speeding towards home.

Occasionally she glanced at her sleeping baby and smiled.  Yes, it had been a successful outing, a bit stressful at the start and appearance of the policemen had not helped but overall a good day.  Her decision to take him out in public had been justified.  He had passed her test.  He had behaved like a baby girl and everyone who came in contact with them had been fooled.  Certainly the attire she had dressed him in had contributed greatly to this guise.  But he had played a part himself.  He acted like a baby, performed like a baby and was a baby.  This part of her plan had been a success she just hoped the rest would be.

[nappy1]

Part 31

Jill nosed the large grey station wagon into the garage. She glanced into the back.  Madison was still asleep in his car seat.  Leaving him in the car she was able to get everything inside before turning her attention to him. Madison stirred as she lifted him from his car seat.  He moaned.  She adjusted him in her arms.  She snaked her fingers into the seat of his nappy.  He was wet but not overly.  Quickly she carried him through the cool afternoon and inside to the warm haven of the house.  As she walked through the kitchen she was able to ease the woollen jacket off him and start undoing the buttons on the back of the dress.  By the time she entered the nursery she was able to carefully slip the dress over his padded bottom and down his legs.  Jill smiled to herself.  She had lost count of the number of times she had done the same for Bethany.  She almost considered herself an expert at undressing sleeping babies.  In several swift movements she was able to remove his shoes and socks then lay the sleeping baby in the crib.  Carefully she covered him.  Caressing his head she planted a kiss on his head.

“Sleep peacefully little one,” she whispered then noiselessly raised the side of the crib, checked to make sure the monitor was on then stole from the room.  She had no idea how long he would continue to slumber.

Jill bustled around the lounge and kitchen sorting out food for Madison and folding nappies.  She kept an ear coc-ked to the monitor.  Part way through the afternoon the phone rang.  Jill intercepted it quickly before its piercing ring disturbed her baby.  It was a friend from the local pre-school, Lorie.

She hadn’t heard from Lorie since Bethany’s funeral.  She had been very supportive of Jill through her grief.  Jill was acutely aware that she was busy with Tyler who was the same age as Bethany and her little girl Kate who was probably eighteen months old.

The chat centred round the exploits of Lorie’s two children.  When the conversation swung around to Jill and what was happening for her she was caught in two minds whether or not to reveal the presence of Madison.  She decided to take the ‘bull by the horns’ and test the waters for a reaction from Lorie.  Jill mentioned that she was looking after her cousin’s little boy Madison.  Jill was in two minds as to whether she would reveal Madison was a boy or keep to the girl subterfuge. If Madison remained with her long term, which was her intention, the sudden gender switch could be hard to explain away. So now Jill was sticking her neck out.  She hoped the revelation would not come back to bite her. Lorie was quiet to start with. Jill went onto explain that her cousin had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and had asked Jill to look after the toddler. 

“A toddler Jill.  How old?” Lorie inquired her voice sounding brighter.

“Two,” replied Jill her heart in her mouth knowing she was lying.

“Oh just a bit older than Kate,” she remarked. “How long have you had him?”

“Just over three weeks,” Jill lied. “But I’ve got him settled into a routine.  The only problem is that his mother was still feeding him when she handed him over so I’ve had to start lactating so I can continue.  I asked the doctor what to do and his advice was to lactate and then gradually wean him.  He said that it is not fair on a little one to just make him go cold turkey,” Jill explained.

“Good grief that must have been difficult to start with,” sympathised Lorie.  “But you fed Bethany didn’t you?”

“Yes that’s why the doctor suggested I start because it would be easier for me to go down that path having done it before.”

“Yeah well I’ve heard that,” said Lorie. “I’ve got another friend who managed to do that with a foster baby she took in,” continued Lorie.  Jill listened with interest.  She hoped her story was convincing because if she could deceive Lorie then she could deceive anyone. “I suppose the boy’s not toilet trained either?” she inquired.

“Heavens no,” replied Jill.  “Far from it.  But that’s okay nappy changing is the least of my worries.”

“So how long have you got him?”

“At this stage I don’t know,” remarked Jill. “He can’t go back to his
mother she’s too sick.  And his father is nowhere to be seen.  My cousin’s parents do not keep good health and are not in a financial state to care for him and his mother has no other siblings so I’m it,” explained Jill.

“Well I suppose it will be nice to have a little one in the house again after Bethany,” remarked Lorie.

“Yes it is.  I know I missed Bethany but I didn’t think I’d miss having a baby but once he arrived I realised that I did.  It’s wonderful at the moment.  He gives me something to do and I suppose he allows me to get over the passing of Bethany.  Not that will ever happen but I suppose he eases the pain,” described Jill.

“Yeah well I suppose that’s true.  Anyway the reason for my call is quite simple.  What about coffee tomorrow?  I’ve felt guilty about not contacting you after the funeral but you know how it is with little ones…” Lorie’s voice trailed off.

“Yeah I know or at least I knew.  Yes, coffee would be lovely Lorie. It’ll be so nice to catch up properly and see little Kate and Tyler again.  I bet they’re mushrooming.”

“They sure are.  Kate’s beginning to walk and Tyler’s really trying to be the helpful little man. How about 11 o’clock?” suggested Lorie. “At the Murphy’s Coffee Emporium in the Scranton Mall there’s a playground nearby so the children can play.”

“That’s sounds marvellous,” replied Jill.  Just then she heard a cry over the monitor. “Look I’ve got to go Madison’s just woken up.”

“Sure,” said Lorie. “Look forward to seeing you and the baby tomorrow, bye.”

“Bye,” said Jill and hung up.  She stood motionless beside the telephone.  Her heart palpitating.  Had she just signed Madison’s death warrant?  Would he be recognised this time?  What had she let herself in for?  Up until now Jill had been congratulating herself on how careful she had been and her last action could unravel everything.  She realised she had now boxed herself in and had to find a way out so Madison’s existence could be preserved and her existence assured.  What could she do?  A simple phone to call to cancel the date was, of course, logical but that might arouse Lorie’s suspicion.  She could feign an excuse like Madison was ill but she knew that Lorie would persist and she’d have to commit to another date.  She had to think and ponder what she could do.  She had tonight to come up with a solution. Suddenly another call from Madison aroused her from her dilemma.  Jill sighed and headed towards the nursery.

[nappy1]

Part 32

Madison awoke and his eyes focused on the white bars of the crib, his crib.  His pacifier had slipped out and he lifted his head to look for it.  He found it under his chest so immediately put it back in his mouth.  He laid his head on the mattress.  He wriggled his bottom and felt the wet nappy slip over his skin.  Rolling over onto his back his hand went down to the thick cloth bunched between his legs.  Pressing the wet cloth into his groin he sighed.  It was strange but the wet cloth was reassuring.  Madison never in his wildest dreams would have thought that he would like being in nappies.  Images of his previous bedwetting in his ‘former life’ swam before him.  He cringed at his father’s assaults but smiled as visions of his mother’s sweet face swirled before him.  He could almost feel her reassuring fingers as she checked his nappy.  He smiled to himself when he remembered how she used to nappy him when his father was away.  They were good times never to be repeated, repeated that is until now.
Madison flexed his legs pressing the wet nappy further into his crotch.  As he released the cloth he felt his peenie spasm and warm pee trickled down between his legs and under his bottom to soak into the already wet thirsty cloth.  Madison didn’t have to think about or physically open his bladder.  It obliged all by itself.

As he surveyed the scene before him he reflected on the trip to the shopping centre.  He shuddered when he recalled seeing the policemen, yet was surprised they hadn’t bothered with him.  Everything Jill had told him turned out to be true.  Sure, he was suspicious of her opinion and certainly upset at how she had dressed him as a baby girl yet the ploy worked.  Those who looked at him certainly did not see a nearly ten year old Madison.  They readily acknowledged the infant and the woman with him as his mother.  He had to admit the disguise worked.  Once he had got over the initial trauma of the trip, being physically present in the building but once events unfolded he actually felt safe.  Maybe her ruse was going to work.  He shivered at the thought of dressing in more girls’ clothes but he knew it was a small price to pay in trying to deceive everyone after all he certainly did not want to go back to his abusive father.  Life with Jill was just fine at the moment.  If it entailed fulltime babying and regime of nappies, breastfeeds and bibs then he could cope.  It was a small price to pay.  Anyway she was just like his mother in many respects and he missed her most of all.

He scrambled to his knees then sank back on his soggy bottom.  Looking around he found the teddy Jill had left in his crib.  He reached for and hugged it.  Madison suddenly started passing wind.  Almost as an automatic response he lifted his bottom slightly off the mattress, clutched a bar of his crib using his spare hand to steady himself.  He grunted and pushed.  He smiled to himself as he felt the small void created between his wet bottom and the soggy cloth filled with a soft mushy deposit.  He felt it ooze out of its own accord.  Madison realised that he liked pooping his nappy.  He pushed some more then sank back onto his bottom squeezing the offensive product between himself and the nappy. He was now one wet and smelly baby.

He realised he wanted his ‘Mummy’.

“Muummeee,” he called. “Muuummmeee…eeee!” he wailed this time.  He sounded like a distressed infant. “Maaaaammmmaaaaa!”

Jill quickly dashed toward the nursery and pushed the door open.  Her baby was sitting up his crib and judging by the aroma in the room he had a dirty nappy.

Madison saw her immediately, dropped his teddy, grabbed the side of the crib and hauled himself to his feet.  His nappy drooped at the same time and the sticky ooze slithered from his bottom.

“Mummy! Mummy!” he called excitedly extending his arms to her.

“Hello darling,” she cooed as she draped herself over his small body and embraced him. “My, what a big sleep you had,” she continued. The aroma of the mess in his pants was strong.  Madison felt her pull the back of his nappy open.  He was used to it.  Jill saw the mess for herself. “Gosh bubby you have been a busy baby, again” she chuckled.  She kissed him tenderly on his head.  That was the third time today she mused. Madison gazed up at her with adoration in his eyes.

“Pooth Mummy,” he squeaked trying to look innocent.

Jill laughed.  “I think I know that darling.  Mummy can smell it and she saw it but you’re a clever baby for telling me.”  Madison beamed.
Dropping the side of the crib Madison fell into her arms.  Jill lifted out of the crib and laid him on the changing table.  Jill was surprised at how happy Madison appeared to be. 

“My you’re a happy wee chappy,” she cooed to him as she lifted his shirt out of the way and started opening his pilcher.  Madison went into a trance as Jill’s sure methodical movements lulled him.  She was careful and tender when cleaning his bottom. There was no look of recrimination in her face, no look of scorn, no judgemental behaviour, just the pure and utter concern and concentration of a mother looking after her baby’s needs.  Madison giggled and chortled as Jill rubbed soothing and sweet smelling baby lotion over his bottom and boyhood.  He felt his little peenie stiffen.  Jill glance at it knowingly and smiled indulgently.  She was pleased he loved his nappy change.  Lifting his ankles she slipped a fresh nappy in place.  She dusted him lightly with baby powder mixing its aroma with that of the oil.  Madison felt the oil slither between his bum-cheeks.  He sighed when Jill tightly pinned his nappy in place.  “There darling, does that feel better for my baby?” she cooed.  Madison all smiles.  Jill domed his pilcher in place then picked the wriggling little boy into her arms.  “Would bubby like a drink?” she cooed to him as she carried him from the nursery.  Madison jiggled excitedly in her arms at the thought of more food.

Jill carried her baby over to the large comfortable chair near the window.  She adjusted Madison until he was cradled in here arms.  Madison looked at her expectantly.  He knew what was coming next.  For some unexplained reason he was excited by the prospect of gathering her warm nipple in his mouth and savouring her milky nectar.  He knew he shouldn’t feel that way after all he was nearly ten, yet at that moment what did it matter.  He watched in anticipation as Jill undid the buttons to her shirt, remove her bra and expose her gleaming mammary.  Automatically Madison turned his mouth open ready for the soft morsel.  He felt it touch his tongue, closed his mouth suc-ked for all he was worth.  He gurgled in delight as the warm milk hit his mouth and dribbled his throat.

Jill smiled indulgently.  She was thrilled now that Madison was eagerly and happily taking her breast milk.  As far as she was concerned this meant one thing and one thing only – Jill was the perfect mother, nourishing her hungry infant, her baby.  As Madison nursed contentedly Jill started singing sweetly to him.  Madison let the soft words wash over him.  Never in his whole life had he ever felt so wanted, so loved, so desired, so secure and so happy. But there was still one problem niggling and nagging at Jill’s conscience; what was she going to do with Madison tomorrow? Now that she had now ‘exposed’ him to the world how was she going to protect him so he wouldn’t be obvious?  So he wouldn’t stand out as 10 year old Madison.

As Madison suc-kled Jill pondered a solution.  She could feel his firm and consistent tug on her nipple.  She watched as his small hand pawed at her breast.  He was suc-king harder and harder, it was then that Jill realised that while she had let her mind drift away her milk supply had dwindled.  She mentally stirred herself and slipped a finger between his lips and her creamy white mammary.  She eased the nipple.  Much to her surprise Madison started to mewl.

“It’s alright little one Mummy’s got more,” she soothed as she sat him up and manoeuvred him until he was cradled in her other arms and facing the other breast.  Jill adjusted her bra to accommodate the empty bosom and unclipped the other cup.  As her breast was exposed Madison started mouthing the soft white skin. “Here darling,” she cooed gathering her breast and rubbing the wet milky nipple over his lips.  Madison mewled in delight as his lips cupped her areola and suc-ked the warm soft morsel into his grateful mouth.  His body shuddered with relief as milk hit his tongue. “That’s it precious. Good baby,” she praised.

Jill allowed her mind to shift to her pressing dilemma again.  Suddenly she remembered that she had the ideal clothing for Madison.  It was a pair of beige coloured bib-front long trousers that she had purchased for Bethany intending to use them once she grew to school age.  They’d fit him perfectly she thought.  She surveyed his body.  Yes, they’d fit him exactly.  She even believed they would have enough room to accommodate his nappies.  Okay, beige was a boys’ colour at a pinch yet if she combined them with a yellow t-shirt, light brown knitted cardigan she had been given by old Mrs Turnbull from down the road, which Jill deemed not really girlie enough for her Bethany, then add a pair of white shoes and a yellow woollen hat with the white pom-pom, the guise might just work.  If he was bundled up in this outfit and his white dummy was added which covered his whole mouth he would almost be unrecognisable.  There was one drawback however. The trousers were not really designed for a toddler.  Nappy changing could be a challenge.  After further thought Jill realised that given her sewing skills she was sure she could alter the garment to allow for efficient and effective nappy changing.  She smiled to herself as she allowed her mind to switch its attention to Madison.  He had nearly finished nursing.

[nappy1]

Part 33

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly.  Jill found the trousers and also located some beige coloured buttons which she could sew into the inside leg seams of the clothing.  Madison played happily on the lounge floor crawling around after the toys and balls he had at his disposal. As she watched him on the odd occasion she smiled to herself.  There certainly wasn’t a big boy crawling around the floor.  She was amazed at how he had transformed into an endearing toddler.  Twice Jill changed his nappy.  He was happy and compliant as she laid him on the floor and efficiently changed him.  He cooed and gurgled with delight each time it happened.  The realisation dawned on Jill that he liked having his nappy changed.
By the time it came for dinner she had amassed everything she needed to set her plan into action.  As soon as she had Madison in his crib the sewing machine would fly into action.

After Jill had spoon fed a bowl of mashed vegetables into Madison preparations were made for his bath.  Outside breasting feeding and changing his nappy, this was another task Jill enjoyed.  It was another opportunity to strengthen the bond with her baby boy. 

Jill cleaned his face and lifted the boy out of the high chair.  She noticed as she put her hand under his bottom that he was wet again.  She put him on his feet and took his hand.

“Come on bubby,” she said in a sing-song voice. “Bath time.”  Taking his hand mother and toddler headed for the bathroom.

As Jill stirred the bubble bath into a soapy lather Madison tried to squeeze his small thin body in between his ‘mother’ and the bath tub.  Jill smiled to herself and let him slip in.  She could feel his frail body against hers and smell his hair.  She could hear the rhythmic slurp as he worked on the nipple of his pacifier.  Madison tried to reach the swirling foam but was restrained by Jill fearing he might over balance.  He turned around and pressed himself against her chest and stomach.  Jill kissed the top of his head affectionately as she watched the bath fill and the steam float above the surface.  Madison looked up at his ‘mother’ and began to chortle around his dummy.  This noise distracted Jill away from the water.  She wrapped one arm around him.

“Mmmmm Mummy’s gorgeous baby,” she murmured to him.  Madison smiled adoringly at her.  As far as he was concerned she was the dearest and most important thing in his life.  He simply adored her.  His hand reached up and touched her breast.  Jill smiled indulgingly at him but ignored his behaviour.  She wanted to see what he would do.  It wasn’t really a test per se, but she wanted to see if his actions truly reflected his developing baby behaviour.  She remembered Bethany doing this several times and managing to get to her breast to suc-kle.  She also recalled seeing other toddlers do it with their mothers when at play group with Bethany.

Madison allowed his dummy to slip from his mouth.  It fell to the floor with a clatter.  He started mouthing her shirt leaving wet patches.  She felt and watched as he pawed at her shirt until the buttons popped open.  He used his face to burrow inside her shirt only to be met by her bra.  Madison could smell the milk.  It was so enticing.  He clutched at the bra pushing it up until the breast flopped free.  His grateful mouth latched onto the wet nipple and he started suc-kling the warm milk.  Jill turned the taps off while Madison slurped and suc-ked.  She could feel his little body twitching and squirming as he took more of her breast.  Jill quickly dried her free hand and placed it gently on the back of his head and started stroking his soft blonde hair.  Madison mewled and suc-ked.  He tried to climb up her so Jill placed her hand on his thickly nappied bottom and gave him a boost.  Slowly she lifted his small body until it was cradled in her arms.  Madison continued to nurse.

While he nursed she slowly undid his pilcher freeing his wet nappy and dropped it to the floor.  She managed to untie his bib and let it fall.  Carefully she worked his arms inside his shirt and eased the garment up his body until it was bunched around his neck.  She extracted the nipple and quickly slipped the shirt over his head.  Madison whimpered but once free he eagerly gathered the nipple and continued to nurse. Jill stood with her semi naked baby still in her arms clad only in a white wet nappy.  She watched him nurse.  Madison’s action had confirmed fully in her mind that he had crossed over completely.  As far as she was concerned his action had discarded his ten year old psyche and now he was in the full grip of his baby alter-ego.  As far as she was concerned he was now an eighteen month baby and from here on in there would be no turning back.
Madison wriggled and squirmed in her arms.  She let him nurse for a few more minutes before slipping a finger into the corner of his mouth to break the seal.  His mouth came free and her nipple slipped out.  Madison mewled again.

“No more angel,” she cooed. “It’s bath time my sweet baby.  You can have some more after your bath,” she explained.  He continued to whimper but he really had no choice.  With one hand she unpinned his nappy and pulled the wet cloth away from his bottom and plonked him into the warm water.

After picking up the discarded baby clothing and placing them all in the nappy pail she proceeded to wash her infant.

Jill gave Madison a thorough bath paying particular attention to his bottom and nappy area.  She felt his hair didn’t need a wash so once she was satisfied he was lifted from the warm soapy water, wrapped in a towel and carried out to the kitchen and laid on the table.

Opening the towel she thoroughly dried his small frail body.  As she wiped every square centimetre she inspected his body for the bruising which had been so prevalent when he first arrived.  She was pleased to see that they were fading and had changed colour to a dull yellow.  His nappy rash had gone and other scratches and scraps had healed.  The healing of these physical injuries was important in her mind.  Now her focus would be on trying to heal his psychological and emotional wounds which she knew could possibly be deep and maybe long lasting.

Finally his body was dry.  Madison lay before her twitching and squirming just like a baby.  She leaned over his naked form and placed her hands under his head.  He looked at her his eyes scanning and rolling over the surface of her face.  She could feel his legs kicking and bottom wriggle under her stare.  Jill kissed his forehead.  Madison swallowed and allowed his fingers to touch and caress her face.  He stared cooing at her.  No sentence or words just soft satisfying sounds which appeared to slid from inside his soul.  Jill could tell he was happy and content.

“Is my baby happy?” she whispered at long last.

He stared at her. “Ah huh,” he gurgled.

She smiled at him. “That’s good baby,” she replied very sincerely. 

Releasing her hands she reached over and picked up a pink pacifier.  Madison’s mouth was open and moving in towards it direction before it was near him.  Jill slipped the infant soother in and he started suc-king contentedly.

Jill coated his body in baby powder and caressed it over his skin.  Gathering his ankles she slipped his night nappy in place, added more powder before pinning the bulky garment closed.  This was then covered with a pair of pink over-naps which were domed in placed.  Madison couldn’t see these properly because he was engrossed gurgling and cooing at his ‘mother’, but the seat of them was cover in white lacy ruffles.  They were the same type of nappy cover you would use on a baby girl.  Jill wasn’t concerned about what sex they were for.  As far as she was concerned they were functional and kept his bed dry and his wet nappy contained.  A white singlet was slipped over his head and his arms guided into the arm holes.  Lastly a pink winceyette nightie was slipped on and pulled down Madison’s body.  As Jill primed and preened the nightie she smiled to herself when she noticed it only cover part of his nappied rump.  As far as she was concerned it accentuated his baby cuteness.  Finally a white bib was tied in place and pink woollen booties slipped on his feet and tied at the ankles.  These would keep his feet warm. Now Madison was ready for a feed then bed.

Picking up her baby she headed into the lounge, turned on the television for the local news channel then settled herself in her favourite soft chair.  She firmly cuddled Madison as she affected these actions.  He clung to her like a baby.  Once she was comfortable she arranged her baby so he was cradled in her arms.  Madison became agitated when he realised what was going to happen.  Jill exposed her breast and Madison ‘dived’ in without any second bidding.  He sighed as his mouth filled with warm creamy milk.

Jill kept one eye on her nursing baby and the other on the television news.  She didn’t want to miss any of the broadcast.  She was keen to see if there was any reference to Madison’s whereabouts.  As the bulletin progressed it became apparent that nothing was forth coming.  Jill was disappointed because it was a clear signal that nobody cared about his welfare, nobody had missed his absence.  Yet, on the other hand she was pleased because it enabled her to build a firm bond with him, develop a loving mother-baby relationship and, all going well, cement his place in her heart and her life.  That was what she wanted more than anything.  Not so much for herself, although a baby in her life was just great but for the poor child himself.  He needed and deserved a new start, a clean slate and be cherished and cared for as the angelic child he was.  Therefore her treatment of him, her ability to care for him was tantamount.  How she did this had to be carefully planned and followed through.  Jill knew what she had to do and how she was going to do it.  Her treatment of him the day before was a precursor of things to come.  Her regime for tomorrow would add some dimension.  She knew that he did not want to become a baby girl and there was no way she was going to permanently take him down that track.  She would use the guise out of expedience and that’s all.  Eventually when things finally settled down, if they ever did, she would have her baby boy.  Until then it was a matter of taking each situation as it presented itself and act accordingly.  That was the essential reason why she revealed to Lorie that she had custody of a baby boy. 

Jill couldn’t remain a recluse for ever it wasn’t in her nature.  She had developed a long friendship with Lorie and she wanted to maintain it.  She knew she would have to reveal Madison to Agatha Turnbull down the road, her nearest neighbour and greatest support after the tragic death of her husband and young daughter.  Agatha was a perceptive old woman who would be difficult to deceive and nor would she want too.  Jill would have to plan that meeting carefully when it happened.  In the meantime the more she thought about tomorrow’s meeting the more confident she was feeling.  She had the perfect story worked out.

Slowly Madison’s tummy filled.  His eyes grew heavier but he fought to keep them open.  He wanted all her milk and he wasn’t going to fall asleep and leave any behind.  But his fight was fruitless.  He succ-umbed.  Jill smiled to herself as he lost his battle.  Her baby was now asleep.  She knew breast milk and nursing had that effect on little ones in the evening.  She remembered with fondness how Bethany always succ-umbed.   

With exquisite care she placed her baby in his crib.  After tucking him in, she kissed him tenderly, professed her love for him, raised the side of the cot and slipped out of the nursery.  Once outside the nursery Jill leaned against the door jam and wrapped her arms around herself and sighed.  God, being a proper mother again felt so good. Her baby was well nourished, clean and warmly tucked up for the night.  She rubbed her breasts and smiled.  It was wonderful to be using her breasts again for their intended purpose.  As far she was concerned having a baby at her breast was the ultimate feeling and sensation of proper motherhood.  It immediately transformed her into the ‘best’ mother in the world; giving her baby the ultimate gift of motherly nourishment – her breast milk. This life-giving nectar was the elixir of fulfilment and pleasure.  The fact that Madison now craved and desired her breast and its contents added to her sense of fulfilment.  Everything was now perfect and would be for a long time to come.  But a dilemma now awaited her attention.  What was she going to do about tomorrow?  She knew in her own mind what she wanted to do and now she had to do it. Slipping into the spare room she set to work.

[nappy1]

Part 34

Madison’s heart rate quickened as he neared his house.  His father’s car was up the driveway and that was unusual.  He dreaded to think what might lie within those four walls. He knew his mother would be there but was that going to be enough.  Whatever had prompted his father’s early return home it couldn’t be good.  He carefully dropped his bag in the laundry and removed his shoes.  He couldn’t hear his father’s droning voice.  That could be a good sign.  Gingerly he opened the door into the kitchen and was greeted by his mother’s bright and smiling face.

“Hello darling,” she gushed rushing over and wrapping him in her arms. “Did you have a nice day?” she asked.  Madison was looking around for any sign of his father.  His car was home so he had to be here.  His mother detected his wayward interest in her. “It’s okay sweetie Daddy’s not home he has gone away for a week or more to fix a huge break down in a factory down south so it’s just you and me,” his mother explained.  Madison let out a sigh.  He was sure his mother could feel the tension leave his body.  She picked him up and cuddled him. “Aww was my boy a bit frightened,” she whispered.

Madison nodded acknowledging his apprehension.

“It’s just you and me baby,” she cooed. “I know Daddy can be a bit tough on you sweetie but he means well,” she tried to explain.  Madison wasn’t convinced and judging by the tone in her voice she wasn’t either.  It was his mother’s attempt to reassure and play down his father’s affect upon him.

His mother carried him further into the kitchen.  Madison finally realised that there was a delicious aroma pervading the room. In his heightened state of anxiety he hadn’t registered the odour.  He realised his mother had been baking.  He loved her baking.  Unfortunately she only baked when his father was away.  He considered such a past-time a waste of time, effort but more importantly money.  Madison’s eyes fixed on the delicious delectables sitting on the bench fresh from the oven.  His mother noticed his gaze.

“Come on honey how about some afternoon tea,” she asked.  Madison was placed on his feet and he clambered onto a chair at the table.  He watched his mother bustle around making him a drink and gathering several freshly baked biscuits on a plate.  These were put in front of him.  As he nibbled on the delicious bakery he regaled her of his day at school.  His mother listened intently hanging on every word.  Madison loved sharing his day.

As he was finishing his repast his mother asked about homework.  Madison vigorously shook his head.  She smiled.

“That’s good darling,” she said sweetly. “How about an early bath, into some warm jammies then we can cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie.”

“Yes please,” he replied delighted at the suggestion. He loved cuddling up with his mother and watching movies especially so early in the day.  That was something his father actively discouraged.  Madison had a feeling that the warm bath and jammies may mean something else but he wasn’t sure especially so early in the day.

His mother took his hand and guided him down to the bathroom. While the bath was filling Madison allowed his mother to undress him.  He didn’t mind and he knew she liked too.  When his father was home he had to do that, as well as bathe all by himself.

After the warm swirling soapy bath was ready Madison climbed in and allowed himself to wallow in the warm water.  The steam clouded his vision and the rich sweet lavender aroma of the bubble bath filled his nostrils.  Madison inhaled deeply. His mother left the bathroom to prepare his pyjamas.  A few minutes later she returned and commenced bathing him.  Madison let her.  He loved the way she played the soft flannel over his skin at the same time ensuring he was thoroughly washed.  She brattled away to him the same way a mother did to her adoring toddler.  He hung on every word and let them slip and slide over him.  Her comments, statements and little phrases were not intended for anyone else’s ears but his.  He didn’t need to respond, indeed none was expected. Madison also knew that his mother loved to bath him and shower him with love and affection.  Although too old for such an activity his mother insisted and Madison was only too happy to comply. He loved it.

After a thorough and intoxicating ministration Madison was assisted from the bath and wrapped in a warm fluffy towel.  His mother ensured that he was thoroughly dry before guiding him into his bedroom.  Madison’s stomach lurched.  There, lying on the bed with his pyjamas was a neatly folded nappy and yellow front opening plastic pants.  Madison knew his mother hid these from his father.  In addition, he was acutely aware that this was the way she dealt with his bedwetting while his father was away.  His father would not allow her to engage in nappying his son believing that his ‘pissy’ son could just wallow in his own filth like a pig.  He only begrudgingly allowed Madison to use trainer pants at night but that was only at the insistence of his mother.

Madison allowed his mother to slip his singlet on then his pyjama top.
“Right darling,” she cooed. “Lie down on the bed so Mummy can put your nappy on.” 

Madison looked at her and noticed immediately her adoring look.  She affectionately stroked his head.

“Okay Mummy,” he replied and crawled on to the bed.  His mother bent over him and adjusted his body.  Without any words just a tacit understanding Madison raised his hips and his mother slipped the nappy underneath.

“Good boy,” she cooed a smile covering her mouth.  Then sprinkling baby powder over his bottom and boyhood she deftly pinned the nappy snugly in place.  Patting the soft mound between his legs she whispered, “Is that better darling?”

“Yes Mummy much better,” Madison whispered back.  He knew he needed nappies at night.  He hated waking up in a wet bed.  Despite what his father grumbled and his accusing look, Madison knew couldn’t help it.  His mother knew and understood that and never blamed or punished her son.  Madison knew, also, that seeing that he was in nappies early he would have to use them.  This he didn’t mind because his mother would lovingly change him.  His mother snapped the plastic pants in place then helped him with his pyjama pants.

Madison felt very toddlerish as he waddled out to the lounge and took his place on the couch.  His mother fixed the DVD in the machine.  Once she had resumed her seat Madison crawled onto her lap.  She wrapped her arms around him.  Madison just loved when she patted his nappied bottom and occasionally kissed his head.  This was his favourite place.

As Madison enjoyed the movie he noted a gnawing feeling in his stomach.  It was the same feeling he had had during the day but had managed to suppress it.  But now it was intensifying.  He started to wriggle under his mother’s embrace.

“Are you okay honey?” she asked with concern on her face and in her voice. “Does my little boy need to fill his nappy?” she continued.  Madison shook his head.  It wasn’t his bowel that was the problem it was his stomach.

He managed to settle and returned to the screen and the movie.  A few moments later his stomach lurched again this time more violently.

“Mummy!” he suddenly screeched.  Then his stomach erupted.
…………..

Jill had just managed to insert the last of the button holes along the inner seam of the long trousers.  Once she had the dozen or so buttons sewn on she’d be able to easily undo the seam and effect a quick and efficient nappy change without having to completely undress her baby.  The work was slow and tedious.  Jill’s mind consistently reflected on her conversation with Lorie and the how, by her own actions, she had now made Madison and herself even more exposed and vulnerable. She had just snipped the last thread when a piercing scream came from the nursery. Jill dropped the garment and dashed to the room.

Madison continued to scream.  His mind slowly cleared as the fog of sleep and the images of his dream dissipated.  As he bellowed he could feel a warm wet stickiness against the side of his face and the pungent foul odour of sour milk and vomit.  He lifted his head from the mattress as more bile coursed up his throat and cascaded down his chin.  Madison couldn’t, in his agitated state, fathom what was happening.  It was dark.  The raised sides of his crib suddenly gave the impression they were pulling in on him trying stifle and suffocate his very being.  At the same time his bottom spasmed and warm poop exploded into his nappy.  Now he was messy at both ends.  Suddenly his room was bathed in bright light and a pair of sure hands grabbed him under both armpits.

Madison continued to bellow and struggle against the hands.

“Hey, hey little one it’s okay Mummy’s here,” Jill soothed.  It was apparent as soon as she entered the nursery what had happened. “Awww darling it’s all over shhhhh…” Slowly she managed to roll the flailing boy onto his back.  Madison realised who it was.

“Maaammmmaaaaa…” he wailed as he saw that reassuring face and registered the associated warm voice.  As he lay on his back Jill retrieved his discarded bib and began wiping the worst of the vomit from his face and chin.  At the same time she noticed the browny-yellow ooze seep out of the crotch of his nappy.

“Oh darling,” she soothed. “Mummy will soon have her baby all better. I think a nice warm bath will make my baby feel better, won’t it angel?” 

She knew why he had vomited.  After he had filled up on breast milk earlier in the evening he had been in such a deep sleep that she had not taken the time to ensure he had released any wind from his stomach.  This had happened several times with Bethany and she knew from bitter experience what sort of mess was created and how distressed her babies would get.  Madison was distressed now.  He writhed and squirmed on the mattress.  It was important now for her to placate her baby, the bed could wait.  Slipping her hands under his neck and knees she carried Madison into the bathroom where he was deposited on the hard floor, no time for any covering.  Turning on the taps to the hand shower she allowed the water to run while she slowly undressed her baby.

Madison continued to cry.  He could smell the vomit and feel the stickiness around his bottom.  The taste of stale vomit in his mouth caught in the back of his throat and made him gag and feel even more miserable.  He had lost his dummy so missed its comfort.  He tried to put his thumb in his mouth but was prevented.

“No, no darling your mouth is all yucky and so are your fingers,” Jill said softly.  Madison cried as she took his only source of comfort away. “I know darling, I know.”  Slowly Jill undressed her baby with gentle unhurried movements.  These ministrations had a calming effect on Madison.  One by one his nightie, singlet and pilcher were removed.  With exquisite care Jill removed his nappy pins and slowly opened the soiled garment.  His bottom was an absolute mess.  This had been a real bowel explosion.  He was covered in vile faecal matter all over his whole nappy area.  Using what spare nappy was available she tried to remove some of the offensive matter.  She dare not show her distaste to Madison.  It would only upset him, after all the poor baby couldn’t help it.  Finally she lifted him under the armpits clear of the floor and stood him in the bath. 

Picking up the hand shower she tested the water temperature before spraying the very warm stream all over her baby.  Madison squeaked as the water touched his skin.  Using both hands to hold onto his ‘mother’ he stood uncertainly in the cold slippery bath tub while she rinsed his body.  Slowly the rinsing water ran brown as it gurgled down the drain.  Using a soft sponge Jill was able to rinse his body clean before smearing him in sweet smelling baby body wash was which was lathered all over his thin body.  Jill smiled to herself as his little peenie erupted and a pale yellow stream trickled out and joined the soapy suds as they cascaded and slithered down his body.  Madison was totally unaware of what his bladder had done until he saw the last drops of urine dribble into the soapy residue.  He looked at his ‘mother’.  Jill smiled.  Madison realised that her warm smile was her way of acknowledging and condoning his infantile act.

Once his body had been rinsed of all the soapy remnants she allowed the warm water to cascade over his head.  Madison blinked furiously as water spilled over his eyes and face.  In typical baby fashioned he poked his tongue to sample the water.  Jill ignored him.  Adding some baby shampoo to his hair she massaged his scalp as the suds slid down his face, neck and body.  Madison stood transfixed in the tub using one hand to clutch her shirt leaving a wet hand mark.  Jill could feel his tight grip.  It was not unexpected. Giving his hair and body a final rinse she shut the water off.  Madison stood dripping in the bath as he watched his ‘mother’ gather a large fluffy white towel and wrap it around his thin bony body. 

Gathering both hands around his thin waist Jill lifted her baby out of the bath dripping water on the floor.  Quickly she headed for the nursery and laid him on the soft yet firm changing table.  Using the attached belt she fastened it firmly over him to prevent him from rolling off.  Immediately Madison managed to extract one arm and his thumb found its way to his mouth.  He slurped and suc-ked it feverishly.  Jill reached over to a jar nearby and retrieved a clean yellow dummy.

Taking his thumb out she replaced it with the comforting soother. “There darling that’s better,” she cooed.  Madison gave her a relieved look.  Jill gave his tummy a reassuring rub.

Moving quickly to the adjacent drawers Jill grabbed the first clothes she laid her hands on and returned to Madison.  Dropping the clothes on the table beside her she unwrapped the towel and started slowly and methodically drying him.  Madison lay before her totally naked lying on a damp towel.  He wanted to cover himself out of embarrassment but couldn’t bring himself to do it.  What was the point?  Jill had seen him naked so many times he felt it was important to lie passively and soak up her ministrations.  Jill looked at him periodically as she worked her way slowly over his body.  Madison wriggled as the soft towel touched and caressed his most intimate parts.  Jill parted his legs and dried in the creases.  Madison’s little peenie stiffed slightly with her touch.  Jill smiled to herself.  As far as she was concerned he was just reacting to her soft tender touch and no more.  It was nothing sexual at all. She was pleased his body was healing of his physical scars.  He was still thin.  His ribs were quite apparent but his skin was now soft and glowed a healthy pink.  Jill prattled softly to him and Madison hung on every word, nuance and sweet syllable.  He let the words wash over him and allowed them to soak into his very being. He absolutely adored this woman.  Madison didn’t think he would ever replace his mother with someone else but his actions and reactions clearly showed he had.  He desired her. He wanted to please her.  Jill’s face was soft and glowing with adoration and love.  Madison could see quite plainly that she was besotted with him.  This gladdened his heart.  At last someone, apart from his late mother truly loved and cared for him.  By the time Jill had removed the towel from under him he was dry, warm and wallowing in the last vestiges of her caresses. 

Madison knew by instinct what was coming next.  Sure enough Jill gathered his ankles and lifted his bottom clear of the pad.  Looking down passed his dummy Madison watched as a warm inviting white nappy was placed under his rump.  When she deposited his bottom on the table Madison could feel the reassuring softness of the nappy touch his bum-cheeks.  Actually it was his nappy really.  They all were now.

Jill sprinkled baby powder all over his nappy area and torso.  She caressed the white powder over his skin.  Madison swallowed as he felt the tender fingers work their magic.  Jill knew by the look of ecstasy on his face that he was under her spell.  Slowly she pulled the thick soft white wad up between his legs.  Madison felt his legs spread as the thick nappy forced them apart.  He didn’t resist.  With a couple reassuring tugs his nappy was pinned snugly in place.  Madison continued to s_ck on his dummy.  Jill leaned over her baby.  Madison watched spellbound as her face neared his.  She kissed him tenderly on the forehead.  Jill inhaled his sweet baby aroma.

“Mama,” he chortled reaching his arms up to her.  Jill smiled and obliged slipping her hand under his armpits and lifting him into her arms.  Placing one hand behind his head she cuddled him warmly.  Madison wriggled and squirmed in her arms as he tried to nestle into her.  Jill’s hand slipped down from his head and gently rubbed his bare back.  Madison began to gurgle with pleasure. 

“Come on darling let’s go out to the lounge where it is warmer,” she whispered.

Gathering all the remaining clothes in one hand Jill exited the nursery and headed for the lounge.

[nappy1]

Part 35

Madison noticed the subtle change in room temperature once they entered the lounge. Although his nursery was warm it was slightly cooler in comparison to this room.  Jill pushed the door closed to the hallway allowing the lounge to contain and maintain its warmth.  She dropped the remaining clothes on the couch before putting her baby boy on his feet.  Madison stood motionless for a few minutes as he watched his ‘mother’ check the fire then disappear into the kitchen.  Madison’s hand slipped down and touched the wadded cloth between his legs.  He shuffled slightly on his feet and happened to catch a glimpse of himself in the glass doors of the china cabinet.  It was a piece of furniture he had largely ignored until now.

Up until now Madison had not really had a good look at himself.  He had been consumed with establishing his relationship with this other woman and trying to overcome the ordeals surrounding his previous life.  It was not that he was totally oblivious to what was happening it was just he hadn’t bothered to look at himself closely or take any overt interest. 
The image etched in the glass was not what he had imagined.  Sure, there was the tousled blonde hair and his skinny bony frame.  His skin looked healthier than before.  It had taken on a pink glow and this was not due to the warmth in the room.  His eyes focused on the dummy in his mouth.  The yellow plastic guard completely covered his mouth and nestled just below his nose.  He was surprised by this.  In his limited experience he thought infant soothers were smaller.  Maybe this was not one for a baby but made for an older child.  Regardless of its sized it sat squarely in his mouth and bobbled as he worked on the silicon rubber teat.  He watched as his hand slowly crept down and touched the soft fluffy cloth safely pinned around his bottom.  His nappy felt warm and soft.  It moulded to the contours of his body curving up into the small of his back, delicately cupping the backs of his thighs and ‘poffing’ out from his bottom.  The two silver nappy pins with their pink caps were clearly etched against the white cloth.

How old was he?  Well he certainly didn’t look like a ten year old.  Sure, he had always been small for his age.  He remembered how his mother used to worry about his small stature and lack of weight.  His baby book recorded him as fitting into the bottom five percent of the population for his age.  Even as a seven year old, prior to his mother’s death, he looked more like a three to four year old.  Now as a near ten year old people thought he was around six or seven.  This had never been a great problem to him.  His peers had grown up with him so did not see his small stature and petite build as an issue.  It tended to be the ‘imports’ into school who caused him the most grief.

Now as he surveyed his own image he was gradually forming conclusions in his own mind.  Without the nappies he could be thought of as perhaps a four or five year old but now in nappies the whole perspective had changed.  Without a doubt the fact that he was nearly ten had been permanently erased.  He just didn’t cut that image.

Jill decided to fill a bottle with cooled boiled water and add an infusion of lemon juice for Madison.  The mixture would be ideal in removing the taste of vomit in his mouth and throat.  She knew it worked for her so it had to have the same effect on Madison. Filling the bottle she squeezed the juice of half a large lemon, screwed the cap in place and gave it a good shake.  Jill looked about for Madison expecting to see her baby right behind her.  She walked towards the lounge and saw him looking at his image mirrored in the cabinet.

Madison saw her image loom up behind him. 

“There you are darling,” she cooed as she crouched down in front of him. “What are you looking at sweetheart?”  Madison turned to the images reflected in the glass.  Jill turned but she knew what he had been looking at. “Ahhh I see.  Have you been looking at the cute baby in the glass?”  Madison nodded.  Jill turned towards the cabinet and wrapped an arm around his waist.  Madison sidled closer.  Her hand slipped down his back and started caressing the fluffy seat of his nappy.  “What do you see darling?” she asked.  Madison looked at her unsure of what to say.  Jill waited patiently.  She could see him processing her question.

“Me,” he finally squeaked.

“Yes it is darling,” Jill assured him.  He knew that. “Look closely honey, do you see a ten year old Madison?”  Madison regarded her.

“No,” he managed to whisper.

“This is what I see each day sweetie and I like what I see,” she informed him. “I certainly don’t see a ten year old Madison. He’s gone, hasn’t he?”  Madison nodded as the realisation dawned on him. He knew he didn’t cut that image but hadn’t wanted to accept the fact and now hearing it from her really brought the reality home.  Tears started to well up in his eyes.  He blinked hard trying to stem the flow but slowly they rolled down his cheek.  Jill saw what was happening.  Her heart melted for him.  She didn’t want to upset him but she had just presented a cold hard fact. “Oh darling,” she soothed wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a warm embrace.  Madison leaned into her and collapsed.  He started sobbing.  Standing up Jill cuddled her distraught baby. “Let it all out sweetie,” she whispered to him. “Let all those tears go sweetie,” she continued gently patting his padded rump.  Madison could feel her hand pat his nappied bottom.  It was a sensation he liked. “I know it’s hard darling.  Everything has tumbled down for my wee boy, hasn’t it?”  Jill carried the distraught boy over to the couch and sat down with him.  She waited patiently as he sobbed into her shoulder. “What did you see in the glass darling?” she asked carefully.

“A baby,” he finally breathed quietly his voice muffled in her shoulder.

“That’s right sweetheart, a baby, a cute adorable sweet cuddly baby and that’s what I see every day when I look at you,” she reiterated. “Madison honey…look at Mummy,” she soothed as she gently lifted his head using a finger under his chin to turn his face towards hers. She smiled adoringly at him.  Picking up the bib beside her she dabbed the tears from his eyes and cheeks.  Madison continued to sniffle. “That’s better darling,” she cooed. “Now look at me angel.”  Madison gradually allowed his eyes to meet hers.  What he noticed was the tenderness etched in them. “You’ve always been a baby, haven’t you?”  He didn’t know what to say.  Maybe he had always been but had tried to shut it out. “Your mother knew that Madison,” she stated.  Madison blanched at that comment.  How could she possibly know that she had never met his mother? “She knew you were still a baby. You wet the bed didn’t you?”  He nodded. “And she knew you couldn’t help it and she tried to help you, didn’t she?”  Madison nodded again. “Now from what you have told me she used nappies when you were alone together, didn’t she?”

“Yes,” he whispered.

“And that was because she knew her little boy wasn’t ready to potty during the night,” Jill paused to allow that revelation to sink in. “You used to have some accidents in your panties during the day but your mother covered that up from your father, didn’t she?”  Madison dropped his eyes and nodded.  It was true.  The woman was slowly unravelling his previous existence and long held secrets.  Jill lifted his face again. “It’s okay baby I understand.  Your mother knew you struggled to keep your panties dry.  Did you have wee messes as well?”

Madison swallowed. “Nearly,” he finally replied.

“I thought so,” she affirmed. “And she used to dress you and bathe you when your father wasn’t around because you found those things a struggle, didn’t you?”  He nodded again.  “And you used to suc-k your thumb as well,” she questioned.

“Yeth.”

Jill nodded. “See all those things tell me that you were still a baby and your mother knew that and tried her very best to help you.  She was doing that only thing a loving mother could do and that was to love and care for little boy properly but your father made that difficult, didn’t he?”  Madison didn’t respond there was no point she was right.   Jill sensed that she had hit the nail on the head. “Did she sometimes let you have a bottle?” she probed gently.

“Yeth somethimes when Dad was not home,” Madison revealed.

“And all those things point to who you really were Madison…”

“But….” he cut in.

“But what darling?”

“I twied to be big…I fought I was a big boy…and when you found me I was still a big boy…” he trailed off.  He didn’t sound too convincing. “And when you found me I was trying to be a big boy but…?” he paused.  Jill waited. “But I kept slipping and being a… being a baby,” he sniffled.

“You couldn’t help it darling because inside you were really a baby and all I did was help you release that and let yourself go and be who you really are Madison.  As I said earlier you are a baby. You’ve always been a baby.  All you were doing was pretending to be a big boy but it was so hard, wasn’t it?”  Madison nodded at all these revelations as more tears trickled down his cheeks. “I could tell this a couple of days after I found you,” she said. “I knew by what you were doing and how you were acting that this was the true Madison.  The ten year old Madison has gone, hasn’t he?  He vanished that night on my front porch. He really was never there, was he?”

“No,” he acknowledged.

“And now I have in my arms the cutest little two year baby any mother could ever want,” she stated kissing him repeatedly. Madison swooned with pleasure at her actions. “That’s how old you really are.  From now on you are two years old, not in a physical sense because you were born nearly ten years ago but in an emotional, spiritual and psychological sense, understand?”  Madison didn’t really and Jill could see that. “You probably don’t.  All I want Madison to do is to be happy and be himself…just be the baby he really is and I promise I will try to make you the happiest baby alive. I will always care and protect you Madison.  I will always love and nurture you.  I will never be cruel or nasty or humiliate you.  I couldn’t do that.  You are an adorable little boy and someone I truly want,” she said softly and with complete sincerity.

Suddenly Madison flung his small arms around her neck taking Jill be surprise.

“I wuv you Mummy,” he lisped.  Jill was touched.  This was the first time the boy had revealed his true feelings towards her and she swooned with delight.  She tightened her embrace and cuddled him with all her being.

“And I love you baby,” Jill responded then waited. “Madison,” she finally said.

“Huh.”

“There is something else I need to say,” she said prising him out of her embrace and settling him on her lap.  He cuddled in.  He loved her warmth and the security he felt.  “Look at Mummy baby,” she said sweetly.  He lifted his face towards hers and she kissed him tenderly. “Mummy loves you too,” she continued. Then she patted the front of his nappy drawing his attention to them. “I have no intention of ever potty training you Madison, do you know what that means?”

“I fink so,” he lisped.

“And what does that mean to you?” she probed.

He touched his nappy, looked down at the white cloth bunched between his legs then up at her then swallowed. He took his dummy out and looked at the wet nipple then back at her. “I will always wear nappies,” he finally whispered.

“That’s right darling, you’ll always be in nappies and that’s because babies always wear nappies and you’re a baby, aren’t you?”

“Ah huh.”

“So you’ll always wear nappies, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered.  Jill could detect a look of relief on his face.

“You like your nappies, don’t you?” He nodded. “That’s good because I think you are the cutest baby in the world in your nappies.”  Madison blushed.  “Now that brings us to your present situation.” Madison looked at her with an air of expectation mixed with apprehension. “I promised after I first found you that you will not go back to your father and I will make sure of that.  It will mean that I will have to shelter you with whatever means I can muster, you understand?”

“Yes Mummy I understand,” he answered. “But…”

“But what darling?” she coaxed.

“But isn’t keeping me wrong?” he finally asked searching her face.
Jill paused to consider his question.  He was right of course.  By her keeping him she was in fact kidnapping him even though he found her.  But in the eyes of the law that didn’t matter.  Jill scanned his face then selected her words carefully.

“You’re right darling. Keeping you here is wrong. But you know you can leave at any time, don’t you?”

Madison looked at her. “Yes but I don’t want too,” he finally replied.

“In fact what your father was doing to you is far worse than what I’m doing but it doesn’t mean that this is right,” she responded.  “You need to choose Madison,” she stated with a degree of finality.  She wasn’t trying to be hard on him but given the situation he had to make the choice.  Admittedly Jill knew she had tried to make his decision easy with her treatment of him.

Madison’s mind was in turmoil.  He adored this person.  She had given him sanctuary, kept him warm, fed him, clothed and kept him safe.  He knew what would lay in store if he returned to his father.  That course of action was out of the question.  By running away he had had made his decision.  He flung his arms around her neck.

“I want you Mummy,” he mumbled into her shoulder.  Jill breathed a sigh of relief.

“And I want you Madison,” she gushed kissing him sweetly. “I want you with all my heart sweetheart,” she continued her voice suddenly croaky.  Quickly Jill composed herself. “Right darling so we have to work to keep you safe because I’m sure people will come looking eventually, you understand that don’t you Madison.

He lifted his head. “Yes Mummy I know that.”

“I will use whatever means at my disposal to keep you safe. Now if it means dressing you as a baby girl I will do it, understand?”

“Yes Mummy.”

“I promise Madison that I am not going to turn you into a girl.  That would be cruel and deny who you really are.  You’re a sweet little boy and that’s how you will live your life out but until everything is safe and assured you will be dressed according to the situation.  Tomorrow we are going to see a friend of mine.  She knows about you…” Jill stopped as she saw a surge of panic cross his face. “It’s okay sweetheart don’t be alarmed. All Lorie knows is that you are my two year old baby cousin whose mummy is very sick and dying so she has given you to me for adoption.  She knows you are a baby boy.  It would be silly and dangerous to dress you as a girl then later when everything is settled suddenly change you into a boy. Lorie would get suspicious then everything would surely unravel. So tomorrow you will be dressed as a two year old baby boy but there will be other times, other situations where you will be dressed as a baby girl. Do you understand Madison?”

“Yes Mummy I understand,” Madison replied and he truly did.

“Now I don’t want you get upset when I dress you in frilly dresses and baby panties because that is what baby girls wear, okay?” Madison nodded.  “I know it will be hard but just think about what we are trying to do and how we trying to hide you, okay?”

“Okay Mummy.”

Jill knew that she was talking to him like a ten year old because it was important to set the ground rules and ensure he fully appreciated the gravity of the situation and the drastic nature of the measures used to fit each situation.

Madison looked at her intently.  He felt his ten year old psyche rise even if it was only briefly. “I understand completely Mummy.  I don’t want to go back to my father. I want to stay here with you. You are a like my mother and that to me is important.  I loved my mother and miss her…” he paused to collect himself. This was difficult for Madison to suddenly reveal his inner most emotions. He swallowed. “I know you will never be truly like her no one could but I like the way you are and I want you for my Mummy,” he sniffled as more tears filled his eyes.

“You’re a brave little boy Madison,” Jill said sincerely and with tenderness. “I wouldn’t want to be like your mother. She sounds to me like she was a wonderful person and I wouldn’t want you to forget her.  She will always have a special place in your heart. I want to be your mother. I truly do but I could never really replace her.  As I said earlier I will always love and treasure you.  I will be a mother to you. You are a special little boy and the most adorable baby.”

Madison looked up at her and smiled. “Mum, Mum, Mum. Bub, bub, bub,” he chortled slipping his dummy back in and slipping back into baby mode.

Jill smiled broadly and chuckled at his sudden reversal. “Yes you’re Mummy’s bubby.” And she lifted him to cuddle him against her.  “Now I think it’s time to dress my baby then give him a nice drink,” she cooed.

Swivelling him onto her lap again she picked up the singlet and slipped it on him.  Then she picked up the pink pyjama top and helped guide his head and arms into the garment before tying up the pink ribbons at the neck and wrists.  She saw the matching crawlers and realised that she had grabbed the pink two piece footed baby suit.

This ensemble had been given to her by Agatha Turnbull again just before Bethany’s tragic accident.  Clearly the woman had made it herself because Jill knew she was a skilled seamstress.  Looking at the clothing at the time Jill knew it was totally unsuitable for her daughter.  It was very babyish yet had been made large enough to fit her even when she finally grew to school age.  She didn’t know what possessed Agatha to create such a garment.  She remembered the old woman saying that it would be ideal for winter but Jill could never dress her daughter in it.  It was totally unsuitable, besides Bethany loved her nighties.  She even objected when occasionally Jill dressed her in a one-piece sleeper. But Madison on the other hand was a different proposition.  It would suit him perfectly.  In fact Jill noticed it was slightly bigger than she had imagined.  She wasn’t sure whether that was because he was small or Agatha had made the garment big.  In addition, Jill felt sure that once he had the crawlers on he would look like an adorable baby girl.

Finally Jill tied the white bib around his neck.  She eased him back until he was cradled in her arms then slipped his dummy out, picking up the baby bottle of flavoured water she teased the wet nipple over his lips. 
Immediately Madison took the teat and suc-ked.  Straight away his mouth filled with cool lemon flavoured liquid.  It was refreshing and very pleasant.

“Good baby,” Jill cooed. “That’ll take away the yukky sickie taste in your mouth.”  Madison wriggled to get comfortable and allowed one of his hands to creep down and finger one of his nappy pins.  He felt so relaxed.
After a few minutes Jill decided he could hold the bottle himself because she knew she had to get the buttons in place on the trousers as well as sort out his crib.

“Come on darling Mummy wants her baby to hold his bottle so she can fix your bed up,” she stated as she lifted the small boy onto his feet. 

Madison took the bottle and stood in front of her.  Getting up she caressed his soft blonde hair. “Now stay here sweetie where it is warm Mummy will be back soon,” she advised.  Madison nodded shaking the refreshing contents of his bottle.

Jill slipped out of the lounge but left the hall door slightly ajar.  Madison watched her leave. He waddled over to the cabinet again and took in the sight of the baby boy drinking his bottle.  He smiled around the teat.  Perfect he thought.  He now felt happy and content.  The conversation with his ‘mother’ had released pressures and tensions which had been deeply suppressed and seemed to push in upon him.  Madison suddenly felt alive and carefree.  He had a new mother, new home and the beginnings of a new life.  The life of a two year old now sat easily on him.  This was what he wanted he now realised.  No more pretending, no more lies, no more needing to constantly convince himself that he was not what he was trying to portray.  He was a baby now.  He could now let his inner persona free. As he lowered the soothing liquid he watched as a wet patch slowly spread across the front of his nappy and down between his legs.  He smiled again.  He was now a wet baby.  No more trying to hold his bladder and struggling against his immature control. He didn’t have to worry about wet pants anymore now he was in nappies. They were designed to be used and he intended to do just that. To put it bluntly Madison realised he was now wearing his potty. The strange thing was he was not upset by this action nor the realisation that nappies now were going to be a permanent part of his life.  Madison liked the way his bladder had emptied of its own accord which now made him more like a true baby – a nappy dependent baby.

Jill quickly remade his bed and removed the soiled sheet and nappy.  Clutching the nappy bucket she exited the nursery and headed into the spare room to gather her sewing.  As she moved towards the lounge the door opened further and her baby boy was silhouetted in the frame.  She noticed his nappy drooped slightly.  As she drew closer his full image appeared – cute pink top, white bib, bottle in his mouth and a happy smiling face peering at her.  What a change of demeanour.  Standing before her now appeared to be a happy carefree toddler.  Obviously what she had said and revealed had had a remarkable effect on him.  He had changed and she liked what she perceived.  When she reached him his free hand grabbed her just like a baby.  She noticed he was wet.  Also she noted that he had almost finished the bottle.  Finally the audible suc-king of air confirmed this.

“Here Mummy,” Madison said a cute baby voice.

“Good boy,” she beamed. “Did my baby like that?”

“Ah huh.”

“Come on angel let Mummy change those wet nappies eh.”

“Ah huh.”

He scuttled across the lounge and grabbed his dummy lying on the couch and stuffed it into his mouth.  He smiled mischievously. Jill giggled to herself at his babyish action.  Grabbing some fresh nappies she knelt on the floor and folded them.

Madison grabbed her shoulder as he stood beside her. “Bub, bub, bub, na, na,” he chortled.

She grabbed him.  Madison let out a sudden squeak and gently she laid him on the floor in front of her.  “Yes darling its bubby’s nap-nap,” she confirmed. Then she reached over to the couch and grabbed the crawlers, pink pilcher, wipes and baby powder and arranged them beside her.
Madison wriggled and squirmed under her gaze then he flopped his legs open to reveal the wet mass between them.  Slowly and tenderly Jill changed his nappy.  Madison gurgled with delight at his ‘mother’s’ attention.  Soon another thick warm soft nappy was pinned around his nether regions.  Grabbing his ankles Jill slipped the opened pink pilcher under his padded loins and efficient domed it in place.  Madison felt the closing pilcher tighten his nappy around his bottom.  Finally, one by one Jill slipped his feet into the crawler and eased it up his legs ensuring his small feet were encased in the soft warm fabric.  She eased the crawler up over his padded loins manoeuvring his body like a baby.  She sat back on her haunches and cast her eye over his form.  The pink two piece footed ensemble had transformed him into a gorgeous pink bundle.  With his soft tousled blonde hair and yellow dummy in place he looked like a baby.  What made the scene even more realistic was that Madison lay on his back with his legs akimbo like a baby the thick nappy forcing his legs apart.  He looked at Jill then extended his arms.

“Mama,” he gurgled.

“Come to Mama precious,” she said reaching down and lifting him into her arms.  Standing up she cuddled him close and slowly headed towards the nursery.  Madison didn’t whimper as she laid him in his baby bed.  Rolling over onto his stomach he rubbed his face into the new nappy which acted as his pillow.  Jill smiled as she covered her baby boy.  Leaning over she kissed him tenderly on the side of his face.  Madison smiled.

“Mama,” he gurgled.

“Night, night my precious baby,” she whispered. “Mummy loves her baby boy.”  Tucking him in firmly Jill caressed his head once more before raising the side of the cot.  She was sure his eyes were fluttering as he tried to fight off sleep.

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[nappy1]

Sorry to keep everyone waiting.  A new installment. Enjoy!

Part 36

Jill sighed as the last thread secured the final button in place.  Her hands ached and her eyes were sore but the alterations had been done.  She looked at the clock.  It was a quarter to midnight.  Laying the finished trousers aside she quickly exited the lounge and crept into the nursery to gather the other clothes she wanted.  Using the hall light she managed to gather what she wanted and stole a quick peek at her baby.  She was pleased he was in a deep sleep.  In fact he hadn’t shifted from where she had tucked him in.  Good, she thought, hopefully the little talk has brushed away some of those nightmares little one.  It was a hope that’s all.

Once she had arranged the clothes on the coffee table for the morning she readied for bed.  The long hot shower relaxed her tired muscles and gave her an inner sense of wellbeing.   Before retiring she checked the fire to ensure it was bedded for the night.  Jill loved the log fire especially since she now had a baby in the house.  The heating appliance, in its suppressed mode still kept the house warm during the night.  She made sure the drapes were covering the windows before heading towards her room.  She made one final stop at the nursery to check her baby.
As she entered the darkened room the light cast from the hallway revealed her baby boy sitting up in his crib.  He was rubbing his eyes and whimpering quietly.
…….

Madison snuggled into the mattress.  It was great to be back in his bed.  It was a strange thought to have pass through his mind.  He now looked upon this baby crib as his bed.  He was ten and shouldn’t be entertaining such thoughts but the notion sat comfortably with him.  He was not ten anymore he was two and two year olds sleep in cribs.  And as he was two therefore this was his crib. He liked the idea.  He rubbed his face into the soft nappy spread over his mattress.  He could detect his smells in the bed.  He looked sideways to see his new mother bend over him and kiss him tenderly.  God she was lovely he thought.  She was his Mummy now, his saviour, his rock, his hope of salvation.

“Mama,” gurgled around his dummy.  He felt her soft hand gently caress his head.  He liked that.  He heard her mumbled words but they didn’t register as he fought the encroaching steps of sleep.  Through his sleepy haze he saw the side being lifted and he blinked when his nursery was denied light.  He sighed and slowly suc-ked his dummy as sleep took hold and his bladder emptied its warm liquid contents into the thirsty folds of his nappy.

Something aroused Madison from his delicious slumber but he didn’t know what it was.  He rolled over as his bladder erupted again causing warm pee to trickle down between his legs and over his bottom to be soaked up.  Rubbing his eyes he sat up trying to orientate himself.  He rubbed them again and started to whimper.  He wanted his Mummy to make everything better. Then he heard the unmistakeable sound of the side of his crib being lowered.

Jill dropped the side of the cot and lifted her warm baby into her arms.  Madison felt her reassuring warmth and could detect the unmistakeable smell of floral soap, shampoo and breast milk.  He rubbed his face into her shoulder.  He felt so reassured.

Reaching over to the nappy stacker she grabbed a ready folded nappy and dropped it in the end of his crib.  Then she gathered a single nappy from a pile beside the changing table and dropped beside the folded garment.  Finally the wipes and powder joined the mix.  Carefully she laid her baby back in his crib.  Madison started to mewl again.  Jill gave his tummy a reassuring rub. As Madison whimpered and wriggled Jill set about changing his nappy.  She knew he’d be wet.  Jill knew from past experience that changing a nappy when her baby woke was one sure way of settling them down.  She was now going to use the same ploy on Madison.  Slowly and methodically she removed his crawlers, opened his pilcher revealing a very wet nappy.  This was unpinned and removed.  Madison shuddered when the cool wipes touched his nappy area.  Jill whispered reassuring words to her boy.  Folding the single nappy she arranged it inside the already folded nappy, placed a nappy liner on top and slipped the fluffy pile under his up turned bottom.  Madison continued to whimper as the very thick nappy was pinned closed, the pilcher replaced then the crawlers eased into position.  Finally Jill gave her hands a wipe and picked her baby into her arms.

Again Madison snuggled into the reassuring warm body of his new mother. She didn’t say anything to him as she slowly exited the nursery, doused the hall light and slipped into her own bed warmed by her faithful electric blanket.

As she eased herself between the sheets she manoeuvred Madison until he was lying beside her.  She adjusted the bed side lamp until a very soft light was cast around.  Madison wriggled as he tried to get close to her.  Slipping her arms around him she drew him into her chest.  She prattled softly to him as he settled.  Madison’s eyes focused on the fluffy floral material of her nightie.  His small frail body was pressed against hers and he could feel and absorb the warmth radiating from her.  Madison felt her hand caress his head and felt her soft warm lips touch and linger on his forehead.  Then he watched spellbound as her nimble fingers slowly undid the buttons down the front of her nightie.  He was enthralled as her hand brushed aside the material and her soft white gleaming breast came into view.  The skin was soft and pallid and he could make out the myriad of tiny blood vessel snaking and wending their way under the surface of the white soft skin. Madison allowed his dummy to slip from his mouth before his very moist lips played over the warm surface.  He felt his mother’s firm hand guide his head in the direction of her nipple.  As soon as it touched his lips Madison opened his mouth and suc-ked the warm morsel in.  He tongued the nipple drawing more of warm mammary into his mouth.  He started to suc-k and was rewarded with creamy, warm breast milk.  He gratefully swallowed several mouthfuls before settling down. 

Jill sighed as her baby began to suc-kle. She loved having her babies snuggled up bed with her.  As far as she was concerned it was an essential part of the bonding process.  To feel their small warm bodies wriggle and squirm against her, to have their warm moist lips cupping her nipple, to have their gentle hands pawing at her chest was the ultimate sensual experience.  She had it with Bethany and now she was going to enjoy it with Madison.  But there would be one key feature which would set the two babies apart.  While Bethany would often come into her bed she wouldn’t stay and would eventually wriggle her way out, she firmly believed that with Madison it would be entirely different.  He seemed to crave her, want to be in her arms, and want to be touching her and be touched by her.  She was of the opinion that he would stay with her and cuddle.  That was the one thing she had noticed over the last few days – Madison was a cuddly child.  Now whether that was because he had lacked them previously or was just part of his nature she did not know, in fact she didn’t really care.  The fact that he wanted to be cuddled was enough for her.  Jill was more than ready to oblige.

Jill caressed his soft hair and whispered sweet endearments to him.  She noticed that he had stopped taking her milk and was now content just to tongue and suc-k her nipple.  Using it, she felt, like a dummy.  If he wanted to do that it was fine with her.  Jill allowed her free hand rub its way down his body until it rested on his thickly padded bottom.  She didn’t know why but she loved patting or rubbing his nappy and now this was no exception.  She shrugged her shoulders maybe it was a mother thing because she did the same with Bethany.

Madison couldn’t recall being returned to his crib.

When Jill awoke daylight was trying to etch its way around the edges of the drapes.  She lay quietly listening to the baby monitor for any signs that her baby was awake.  She looked at the alarm clock.  It was just after 7.30.  She thought after the late night and the disrupted sleep she would be tired but wasn’t.  Maybe now that she was in mother-mode her body and mind were adjusting themselves accordingly.  She rose, dressed and collected the morning newspaper.  She looked in on Madison.  He was still sleeping spread-eagled on his back but she could tell by the way his body was twitching that it wouldn’t long before he woke.

She quickly stirred the fire into life and opened the drapes.  The day was dull and overcast.  Having already been out in the elements she knew it was cold.  The perfect day for the clothing she had planned for her baby to wear.  She quickly scanned the newspaper for any news on Madison.  Still nothing.  She had time to catch the brief morning report on television.  Still nothing.  It had now been eight days since she’d found him and no-one had reported anything.  She checked and repacked his nappy bag and had some breakfast.  Jill knew she was meeting Lorie at 11 so knew she had plenty of time.  She heard some rustling over the baby monitor so headed to the nursery.

When Madison’s eyes flicked open he was staring at the mobile above his head.  He wriggled on the warm comfortable mattress.  With the crawlers on he felt deliciously warm.  He remembered snuggling up to his mother sometime last night and savouring her spongy nipple in his mouth.  He suc-ked on his dummy reassured by its presence.  The events earlier the previous evening danced through his mind.  Everything as far as he was concerned had changed for him.  His life suddenly gathered new meaning and appeared to be moving forward at last, moving forward in baby mode that is.  He flexed his legs pushing against the soles of his crawlers.  His nappy moved and slithered the wet cloth affirming its constant presence.  He planted his feet in the mattress and lifted his rump off the mattress as he did so his bladder erupted delivering its usual warm wetness into the already wet cloth.  The hot stream was strong and Madison dropped his bottom and opened his legs further as the pee flowed. He sighed a satisfied baby sigh.  Was his mother up?  When was she going to come a get him?

Jill pushed the door open.  She could see her baby lying on his back feet planted on his mattress and bottom elevated.  She smiled to herself.  Perhaps the dear boy was filling his nappy ready for her.  He would most certainly be wet.

Madison sensed her presence and turned then scrambled to his knees.  He clutched the bars of the crib as she approached.  Jill smiled adoringly at her baby.

Lowering the side of the crib she lifted the squirming little boy into her arms.

“Hello precious,” she cooed kissing him tenderly.

“Mama, Mama,” he chortled pleased to see her and wrapped his small arms around her neck.

Jill picked up a spare folded nappy from the stacker and carried her baby boy from the nursery.

Carefully she laid him on the blanket spread on the table.  Slowly she peeled off his crawlers, opened his pilcher and unpinned his soaked nappy.  Rolling the saturated cloth inside the pilcher she dropped them both on a chair beside her.  Using a warm damp cloth she thoroughly washed his whole groin and bottom.  Within minutes Madison was pinned into a clean soft dry nappy.  Putting him on his feet she let him follow her out into the laundry where the discarded baby items were tossed in the tub.  Scooping up her baby she carried him back into the lounge, tied a bib around his neck and settled him in her arms.  Opening her shirt and lifting her bra she allowed Madison to nuzzle her breast then suc-kle.  Madison wriggled and gurgled as he slowly filled his stomach with his mother’s warm creamy nectar.

Jill watched as her baby slurped, snuffled and grunted as he nursed. 
Occasionally Madison’s eyes met hers and he gave her a gorgeous smile which only caused milk to dribble out the side of his mouth.  When he had emptied the first mammary Jill carefully sat him to shift him to the other side.  As she did so he belched causing her to giggle.

“Good boy,” she acknowledged praising his infantile behaviour. 

As Madison nursed on her other breast Jill was acutely aware that over the past few days breast milk had formed most of his diet.  While it was essential, as far as she was concerned, in building up his immunity and establishing an appropriate nutrient pattern she was mindful that it would not be sustaining.  She needed to add more solid food to his regime.

Madison enjoyed the breast milk slipping down his throat.  He could feel it fill his tummy.  When he initially started breast feeding all those days ago he had been initially repulsed by the fluid.  The taste was unusual and when he belched it left an unsavoury after taste.  When he vomited the smell was repulsive yet the more he nursed the more he liked the milk.  One downside to existing on a breast milk diet was what it did to his digestion.  He had made his bowel motions very loose almost liquidy and his bowel tended to empty almost on its own accord.  He found that it didn’t sustain him so he craved regular top ups.

Madison slowed his suc-kling.  He was full.  Jill could feel his suc-k diminish as well as she was aware that her milk had stopped.  She carefully sat her baby to allow him an opportunity to release the wind trapped in stomach.  Madison could feel it roll around and started squirming to allow it to release.  Suddenly he emitted several large belches which eased the tightness in his stomach.

Jill put her baby on his feet.

She disappeared into her room to put the finishing touches to her makeup.  As she sat in front of the mirror the door to her room slowly swung open and Madison appeared.  Jill smiled at his baby form as it waddled towards her. By the way his nappy was drooping he was wet.  ‘Nothing unusual,’ mused Jill.  She didn’t mind after all he was a baby.
Madison draped himself over her lap.  Jill caressed his back and rubbed the seat of his nappy.  She smiled to herself. ‘It was at least it wasn’t full,’ she thought.  Using her lipstick she put the finishing touches to her lips then recapped the container.  As soon as she placed it on the dresser Madison reached for it. Jill gently grabbed his hand.

“Ta to Mummy,” she said softly holding his hand.  Madison looked at her then back at the lipstick. “Ta to Mummy,” she repeated.  “That’s not for babies,” she continued.  He let the capsule go and it clattered onto the dresser. “Good baby,” she praised putting the makeup item away in a drawer.  Picking up the mascara she added the finishing touches to her eyelashes.  Madison watched spell bound.  He had never seen anyone apply makeup, not even his own mother.  He reached up for it.

“No darling,” giggled Jill intrigued by his tenacity.  “That’s not for babies either.”  And she put it away and picked him up ignoring his wet condition and sat him on her lap an arm wrapped around his middle. Madison looked at himself in the mirror his blonde still in tousled disarray over his head and his dummy bobbling in his mouth.  He leaned back into her and he watched her kiss the top of his head.  Jill leaned close to his ear.  “Is bubby ready to get dress?”  Madison giggled and wiggled his head as her whispered voice and warm breathe tickled his ear.  “Because I know a little baby who’s got very wet nap-naps,” she said slowly ticking him in the ribs.  Madison squirmed to evade her fingers. “Come on angel,” she said turning him, standing and carrying him from the bedroom.  With her baby still in her arms she gathered all the clothes she had sorted out the night before along with a nappy change and headed back out to the kitchen.

She put Madison on his feet while she arranged everything on the table including the changing blanket.  She scooped him up and laid him before her on the table.  Madison looked at the pile of clothes beside him.  Judging by the colours present Madison hoped they would be boys’ clothes.  He looked at her as she folded the nappy ready for him.  With slow and unhurried movements Jill undressed her little boy.  Within minutes Madison was lying completely naked before her.  Carefully and gently Jill washed his nappy area again and dried it before coating it in sweet smelling baby oil.  His nappy was slipped under his up-raised rump and baby powder added before it was pinned closed.  Madison flexed his legs against the thick soft cloth.  Jill smiled indulgingly as she watched his reaction.  Madison felt less exposed now his nappy was in place.  Jill slipped a clean singlet in place before adding a yellow shirt which buttoned up the front and was tied at the wrists.  She slipped a clear plastic pilcher under his bottom and velcroed it around his nappy.  Madison felt his nappy tighten.  A pair of white socks was slipped over his feet before a yellow sweatshirt was pulled over his head, his arms inserted and it eased down his body.  Madison loved the attention he received when he was being dressed.  He wanted to enjoy every moment of it, so completely relaxed Madison allowed himself to be dressed like a baby.  Jill patted the mound between his legs before picking up the altered trousers.  Madison was relieved to see the tell-tale design of boys’ trousers.  This relief was mixed with the knowledge that he was not going to be dressed as a girl for this outing.  This pleased him more.  He smiled at his ‘mother’.  Jill noted his satisfied smile and was sure why he was pleased.  Slipping the trousers up his legs she adjusted the straps until they were crossed over his back and buttoned them to the front bib.  Madison looked down and could just make out the white rabbit embroidered on the beige coloured material.  He wriggled and squirmed, then giggled when he felt Jill’s soft sure hand slip under the garment and adjust his shirt and sweat-shirt.  He was ticklish. Finally she pulled the inner seams together and started to button them closed.  With the closing of each button Madison felt the garment tighten around his bottom and legs until his nappy was very snug.  When the last button was in place Jill stood back and admired the garment and her boy.  It seemed to fit Madison perfectly.  She stifled a grin as she looked at her baby boy lying on the table his legs akimbo like a small toddler with an obvious nappy bulge packing his crotch.  Finally she slipped on a pair of brown shoes securing the Velcro in place.  She lifted Madison into her arms and gave him a long cuddle patting his bulging bottom.

“Stand on the chair darling,” she cooed as she placed the boy on his feet.  She tied a white bib around his neck.  Then picking up a brush she arranged his curly, wavy blonde locks into some resemblance of order.

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