Betty Pearl's Sissy Stories 20.1
Menu => Active Sissy Stories => Topic started by: nappy1 on August 20, 2010, 01:46:29 AM
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Lost Souls
Part 1
Madison dragged his tired 10 year old body along the street. The cold air bit into his lungs causing them to hurt. He broke into a run again. He didn’t know how long he could keep going. The cold wind snapped at his bare legs. His feet were wet where the holes had let in the water. His thin tattered clothes failed to keep out the wind as it knifed through the thin protection. To make his situation worse his pants were wetand the cold fabric of his shorts and undies was beginning the chafe between his legs. But run, he had too. He had to get away as far as he could from his father. He could still feel the pain where his father’s fists had attacked his body. He could still feel the impact of his father’s foot in his back. How he got out he didn’t know. Madison had heard stories of how adrenaline took over in vital minutes and could push the body beyond its limits in self-preservation. Well that’s what happened earlier that evening.
As was typical when Madison arrived in from school his father was blind drunk and staggering about with fury and menace in his eyes. The simple act of dropping his school bagat the back door had unleashed a torrent of verbal abuse and then the fists started. The poor boy cowered under the wild blows many missing their mark but enough got through poor Maddie’s defences to leave telling blows. His adrenaline took over and when his father stumbled in trying to land another savage kick Madison seized the opportunity to half crawl and half stumble out the back door and roll down the hill behind the house and land in the grassy gulley. It took several minutes for him to gather his strength before he ran from the section, down the road and away. How he was able to summon the strength and energy was quite beyond him.
His stumbling jog diminished to a staggering walk. Many times he stopped to find his bearings look behind him then kept going. It was sheer dogged determination that kept him going because he had to get away. Get away as far as his body would allow him, away from his father and the terror that was present.
Madison collapsed. The cold was making its presence felt. He had given up shivering a while ago. He has now disorientated. He had to find somewhere out of the biting lethal wind. Then he saw it a glow not too far away. He forced himself to his feet and headed for it. As he neared it he realised it was window to a small cottage partially sheltered behind some trees. He made for it oblivious to the branches clawing at his body as he fought his way through the trees. He noticed through his blurring vision that the cottage had a partially enclosed veranda along its front. He staggered up the steps and slumped in the corner. At least the wind was no so savage here. Then he slept the dreamless slumber of one exhausted beyond their limits.
Jill Scott heard the thump then passed it off. Jill was in her early thirties, a tall woman with shoulder length brown wavy hair and a fulsome body. Her hair showed the odd wisp of grey and laughter lines could be detected at the corners of her eyes. Possibly a falling branch or a pinecone on the floor she mused. Both explanations were quite plausible given the windy conditions. She had noted that autumn seemed that have arrived sooner than in the past. Surely another long winter was fast approaching. She gazed at the lazy flames in the log burner. Oh well at least she was warm. She shuffled in her warm chair and returned to her book.
Jill’s opened her eyes and stared at the clock – 6.05. Jill was an early riser. She had always been and when Bethany arrived more so because that little bundle of energy was eager to start her day early as well. In the twelve or more months since her passing Jill still maintained the same routine. She peered through the curtains. Although still relatively dark a break in the horizon to the east forecast yet another bleak autumn day. The cottage was still warm from the log fire smouldering in the lounge. Donning her dressing gown she flicked open the damper, tossed a couple of logs onto the glowing embers and allowed the fire to stir itself into life. Her ample breast swayed beneath her warm fleecey nightie. Theses breast once nourished her adoring daughter but now remained barren. She flicked a wisp of hair away from her face as she watched the logs spark into flame. Within minutes a quiet roar could be heard from the heating fire box and the room began to take on its warm inviting glow. She shuffled down the hall to the front door to retrieve her morning newspaper and the day’s milk. Jill enjoyed the first part of the day browsing through the newspaper and sipping her first mug of tea for the day.
Jill opened to front day to be met by a blast of cold air. She pulled her dressing gown tighter and headed quickly down the path to retrieve the paper. Just as she mounted the steps a dark shadow in the corner of the veranda caught her eye. Perplexed she moved over to check the shape. She waited for her eyes to grow accustomed to the dim light. Her hand went to her mouth. She could make out the dishevelled blonde hair and slim white legs. It was a child.
“My God,” she whispered as she touched the supine form. It was cold. Quickly she reached inside the front door and switched on the veranda light. Therewas a small child curled up in the corner its lank blonde hair hanging over its face, its thin shirt and shorts looking dirty and damp, its white legs scratched and its shoes encased in mud. Crouching down, she touched the child’s face. It was cold although she did detect a shallow wisp of warm air from the nostrils. Instantly she knew what to do. Her years as an emergency nurse began to kick in. With some effort she slipped her arms under its knees and shoulders and carried the cold seemingly lifeless body indoor kicking the door closed behind her.
Jill entered the bathroom. The child had to be warmed and quickly otherwise what life it held may be lost. Laying the child on the floor she started running a warm bath. Quickly she bustled into the nursery which had once been Bethany’s room, picked up a thick blanket, a pink pyjama top, three nappies and pins. At the same time she pulled down the duvet in the crib. The crib had remained made up since Bethany’s passing. She didn’t have the heart to dismantle anything that reminded her of her lively three year old. Now the crib would have some use again.
Jill returned to the bathroom. The bath was filling nicely. The water was warm but not too hot. She looked at the small creature lying on the floor in a semi curled position. Scrabbling through a draw in the vanity she found a pair of scissors. She had decided that the only way to get the poor child’s clothes off was to cut them off. Besides the clothes looked dingy and not worth saving. She set about the process. Jill cut the shirt away revealing a dingy grey singlet. She this away and the sight that befell her eyes was horrifying. The child’s chest and back had bruises, fresh bruises possibly recently inflicted. Jill studied the child’s face. She noted a flicker of an eye lid and a slight pursing of the lips. The child’s hair was dirty yet she could perceive the blonde tinge. It fell about in gentle waves and felt soft to the touch. It was long possibly just short of shoulder length. The eyelashes were black and long, the nose pert and the lips full and cherub-like. She noted the skin was soft and tender and the facial features fine. Possibly a little girl Jill mused as she dumped the singlet aside.
Jill noticed a strong presence of stale urine. The poor creature had wet its pants at some point. Gingerly she started cutting the damp and smelly shorts away. Soon they joined the two other items. This revealed the underwear which were pale blue in colour and styled similar to a little boys. Finally she sliced away the underwear and the sex of the child was on show.
She looked lovingly at the sleeping face.
“You’re a wee boy, sweetie,” she said softly. “Judging by your size probably around 6 or 7.” She shook her head sadly. This little fellow had had a real tough time. “I don’t know who you are little one but you’re safe with me,” she whispered. She noted around his little peenie and sack was an angry red rash. If he had been her child she would have said it looked like nappy rash, but given his condition it was probably a combination of prolonged exposure to wet pants and poor hygiene. As she gently parted his legs the rash extended between his legs along the inside of his thighs and over his bottom. “You poor wee mite,” she said softly. It was apparent that he had had wet pants before. The rash was in keeping with the rest of his being. The unwashed hair, the malnourished skin, the poor flesh and muscle on the bones and his sallow skin. Finally she removed the socks and shoes. All the items were destined for the fire.
Jill tested the water and found it warm enough to take the body. While the child lay on the floor she prepared the items she was going to use.She made sure the blanket was laid out and covered with several towels. She had decided that once there was sufficient warmth in the small body that she would wrap him in the combination and carry him out by the fire.
Carefully she lifted the cold limp body into the warm water. Immediately his legs and arms jerked at the sudden increase in warmth. This was a good sign she mused. Maybe he was not as ‘far gone’ as she had initially thought. Slowly she immersed the boy in the water until his head was exposed and began to softly rub the flannel over his body in an effort to stimulate the blood and encourage the warmth into his system. She grinned when the water between his legs went yellow momentarily. His bladder had just involuntarily emptied.
Jill kept up a constant vigil regularly replenishing the warmth in the water and releasing some of the cooler liquid as she attempted to keep a consistent temperature. While she was rubbing the flannel over his body she cleaning him too. More bruises started to show especially on the buttocks, upper arms and thighs.During this time she took the opportunity to wash his hair and soon had it looking soft.
Finally after almost an hour of attention she noted his skin was starting to show some colour. More significantly his cheeks and lips started to glow pink. His eyelids flickered and his head jerked and rolled slightly. He was slowly coming round, more out of a deep unconscious state to a heavy sleep mode.
Carefully she lifted the dripping boy laid him on the pallet of towels and wrapped him warmly in the blanket and carried him out to the lounge and laid him on the floor in front the very warm fire. The lounge was very warm. This was made more so by the drapes remaining closed giving the room and inviting, cosy, close environment. She kept an eye on his face.
Despite the fact that he was a little boy she had very little choice in terms of clothing to use. She had decided to make use of some of Bethany’s clothes especially her pyjama tops and singlets. The fact that they were pink was unavoidable. At least the pyjama top had small stars over it. At this stage the type and colour of the clothes was immaterial, as long they were functional and warm was all that mattered. In terms of pants the decision was easy. She would use nappies. It was a matter ensuring that any bedding wasn’t wet while he slept. Once he was up and moving around then maybe she would alter things.
Jill knelt down beside the boy. The heat from the fire was intense. She reached over and closed the damper slightly. The flames in the firebox died slightly and there was an audible creaking as the firebox cooled. She picked up the nappies and opened them out. They were some she had used on Bethany but were still very white, fluffy and the red salvage edge still intense. Placing two together she expertly folded them into a kite shape. Jill was certain that although they were baby nappies they would fit him given his very slender frame. She folded the third to act as soaker pad which was placed down the centre.
Slipping over to the boy she opened the blanket and spread it out. The boy shivered. It was obvious to her that his body had registered a change in temperature.
“Right little one let’s get you dressed,” she murmured. Carefully she grabbed his ankles together and lifted his bottom slipping the nappy in place. Once his bottom settled on the soft cloth she gently opened his legs and began to smear a thick coating of white salve over the rash. “There, that will take of that sweetie,” she murmured. While his legs were still apart she folded the nappy over his groin ensuring his little peenie was pointing downwards. “Better to wee in the nappy little one than out of it,” she clucked. With two very firm tugs she pinned the nappy closed with two yellow-tipped nappy pins. She patted the bulk between his legs. “There darling that’ll keep you dry,” she said with a satisfied tone. Jill noted how the thick wad between his legs kept them apart. She could picture him toddling around the lounge in a thick nappy. She smiled at the thought.
Carefully she slipped the pink singlet over his head and guided his arms into the holes. And moving him around like a baby she eased the singlet down his body. It fit him which surprised her. It fitted her three year old daughter yet it fitted him as well. The fact that it was pink didn’t matter. She picked up the pyjama top and slipped over his head, guided his arms into the sleeves and much the same as for the singlet rolled his body until she had it in place. Jill fastened the buttons at the neck and tied the ribbons under the throat and around the cuffs. She leaned back to admire her handy work. He was beautiful was the only word she could think of. She brushed his hair so it wasn’t too tangled, then slipped a pair of thick pink socks on his feet. They were more like booties than socks.
When she was satisfied she covered him with the blanket again. What he needed now was something warm and sweet in his tummy. She puzzled over this problem as she entered the kitchen. Delivering the liquid was easy it would have to be in a baby’s bottle but what to give him was the puzzling question. After she had retrieved the eight bottles she had once used on Bethany she happened to open another cupboard by mistake and noticed a tin of infant formula. ‘Maybe that was the answer,’ she mused. After checking the use by date she decided to make up one bottle but add two teaspoons of sugar to sweeten it. The formula would provide sustenance and minerals, she reasoned, while the sugar would provide a glucose hit. She filled the bottle with warm water and shook the contents vigorously until it was all dissolved. After screwing the cap in place she checked the nipple to ensure the holes were big enough then it was placed it in the microwave to give another warming boost. Now, would he take it given his deep sleeping state? He may not detect the presence of the rubber nipple in his mouth. These two questions ran through her mind.
Returning to the warm lounge she placed the full bottle on a nearby table and carefully picked up the limp sleeping body and sat on the couch cradling the wrapped bundle in her arms. His pinkish face was framed with the blanket. Easing the blanket off his head she managed to fasten a white bib around his neck. If he vomited the bib would catch it and not the blanket, then she rubbed the warm rubber nipple over his lips. Some of the formula dribbled out coating his lips.
“Come on little one,” she whispered as she managed to push the nipple over his lips but hit his teeth. Using a spare finger managed to forced his teeth slightly apart and slip the nipple further into his mouth resting it on his tongue. She could feel the soft resistance offered by his tongue and rubbed the nipple over its surface stimulating it. At the same time some of the mouth dribbled further into his mouth and caught in the back of his throat. He gaged momentarily then she heard a reflex swallow. She did the same thing again this time giving the bottle a squeeze causing the formula to squirt into the back of his throat. Again he gaged and swallowed. Then she felt his tongue move over the teat and give a reflex s_ck. This was a good sign. A reflex swallow followed and then another s_ck. Finally after several minutes his suc-king became rhythmic. She was elated. He had taken the bottle. Her only fear now was whether his stomach would accept the formula or reject it.
Jill watched as his jaw worked on the teat. The swallows were regular. His eyes flickered then opened. Jill saw a pair of very dark brown eyes staring unseeing at her. Then they closed. He wriggled his body. Swapping hands she manoeuvred her free hand under the warm folds of the blanket until she found the soft thick cloth of the nappy bunched between his legs. She probed the surface then softly snaked her fingers inside the nappy. He was still dry.
She extracted her hand refolded the blanket and resumed holding the bottle. She smiled adoringly at him.
“Good baby,” she cooed. “Drink it all sweetie. It’ll do you good.”
His suc-king slowed then stopped. She rubbed the teat inside his mouth. There was a feverish suc-king then it slowed to a stop. She did this several times. It was apparent he had slipped into a deep sleep again. She carefully withdrew the bottle and checked the contents. He had taken over half which in her mind was a good start. When he regained more consciousness he would undoubtedly take more. She dabbed his lips and chin with the bib mopping up any excess. Slowly she stood and took him down to the nursery placed him in Bethany’s crib. She bent over and kissed his forehead.
“Sleep tight little one whoever you are,” she murmured then raised the side and stole from the room.
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Here you my dears the next installment.
Part 2.
Throughout the morning Jill made regular trips to the nursery to check on him. She noted he had moved and had managed to kick part of the blanket off. During one trip she turned the baby monitor on instead of making regular trips. When he awoke she would hear him. Jill continued to bustle around the house. She made up all the baby bottles with formula. She folded more nappies leaving some in the nursery, some in the hall cupboard and a small pile in the lounge near the couch.
A whimper caught her attention. She headed to the nursery. On opening the door she was met by the small blonde headed boy sitting up in the crib rubbing his eyes. As she advanced towards the crib he looked at her and moved to the back and jammed himself against the far rail. Jill lowered the side. The frightened boy looked at her with fear in his eyes.
“Who are you? Where am I?” he whimpered with fear and uncertainty in his voice looking about the room. Then he noticed the nappy bunched between his legs. He looked at her in horror. “What…..” he paused.
Jill reached for him but he tried to evade her grasp. “It’s alright little one you’re safe. I’m not going to hurt you,” she cooed softly. Her voice seemed to have an effect as he appeared to slump before her eyes. She lifted him into her arms but he began to struggle.
“Noooo! Nooooo!” he squealed as he tried to climb out of her arms. She held him firmly.
“Shhhh…..Shhhhh it’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you little one. I want to help you sweetheart,” she said as she continued to hold him firmly. He continued to struggle then Jill felt the fight go out of him and he began to cry. He slumped into her as his body became wracked with sobs. She tried to soothe him. Jiggling him gently like one would with an unhappy baby, she rubbed his back and paced the nursery. Her hand slipped to his nappied bottom. He was wet.
A few minutes later his sobs slowly subsided.
“S…s….sorry,” he wept. “I…I…I peed.”
“Is that all,” she giggled. “I’ll soon have that fixed up sweetie,” she reassured him and carried him out of the room and down into the warm lounge.
She sat on the big linen covered couch and laid him in front of her. His eyes darted around the room.He had a frantic look in his eyes. Jill reached for his pyjama top but his hands grabbed hers.
“Don’t,” he pleaded.
“It’s alright sweetie. I’m not going to hurt you.” She continued to push his top and singlet up. His body language told her that he was becoming highly agitated. When she reached for the nappy pins he jerked away.
“No! No! Please. You’ll see….”
“See what darling? That you’re a little boy. I already know that,” she chuckled. “How do you think the nappy got there?” He whimpered and shook his head. Jill stopped. The last thing she wanted to do was frighten him. After all, judging by his physical condition that was bound to happen. Her hand rested on his knee. He jerked. “Well as I see it we can do two things,” she reasoned. “Either you let me change you out of that wet nappy or I leave it and you become uncomfortable and hurt your bottom more. It’s your choice,” she pointed out.
Jill waited. She could see the turmoil in his eyes and the frantic jerks his body was making.
“Well sweetie, what will it be – dry nappy or wet nappy?” she quizzed.
“Dry…” he whispered and burst into tears. Again her maternal instincts kicked in and she picked him up and enveloped him in a warm cuddle. This time he seemed to melt into her. Her hand patted his wet bottom as she waited for him the control himself.
“Ready?” she whispered to him. He nodded. “Good boy,” she cooed kissing him tenderly on the side of the head. Again she laid him on the couch. As he tried to wipe the tears from his eyes Jill reached for the nappy pins and withdrew them from the cloth. She carefully pulled the wet cloth away from his groin and looked at his rash. It looked slightly better. “Just relax little one,” she whispered as she pushed his legs up raising his bottom. Quickly the wet nappy was replaced by a dry one and his bottom settled down on the soft cloth.
“Do I…” he stopped.
Jill raised her eyebrows. She knew what he wanted to say but was too embarrassed to say it. “What wear nappy?” she quizzed. He nodded slightly. “I think so sweetie until you are stronger then we’ll have a think about it, okay?” she suggested. “It will be safer than having wet beds or pants won’t it,” she reasoned. He nodded no too convincingly. “Good boy,” she reassured him. “Now hold still baby,” she said as she began to wipe his bottom. He jerked and let out a wail.
“Ooowww,” he squealed and more tears slipped down his cheeks.
“I know darling, it hurts but you’ve got a nasty rash and I have to clean it and put cream on it to make it better, okay,” she explained looking at him.
“Yesss….” he said shakily wincing every time she wiped his bottom.
“There all done,” she said quite satisfied. “What a brave boy,” she stated. Carefully yet firmly she pulled the nappy into position and pinned it snugly closed. “There, one clean baby,” she cooed. He smiled weakly at her. Jill, again,pulled him onto her lap. He leaned against her. “What’s your name sweetie?” she asked softly.
He looked up at her. “Madison. Madison Herbert,” he said softly.
“Madison,” she repeated. “What a lovely name. Can I call you Maddie?” she asked. She felt she had to because some people do not like their names shortened. She was used to being called Jill considering her proper name was Jillian.
“Yes,” he whispered. “Some people do.”
“Well I’m Jill Scott and this….” said Jill looking around the room. “Is my little house.”
They sat in silence. Madison shivered slightly.
“Cold sweetheart,” Jill whispered.
“Uh-huh,” he murmured.
Jill stood lifting him into her arms and carried him down to the nursery. She picked up the blanket he had been wrapped in and draped it over him then tucked him into it. He snuggled into her for warmth. It was important for her to keep him warm. He was still vulnerable despite her earlier efforts. She carried him out into the warm lounge.
“Would you like a drink?” she asked quietly.
“Uh-huh,” he replied.
Madison was still unsure of his surroundings and of this person he was cuddled into. He couldn’t remember how he got here and that worried him. He was concerned at the way he was dressed – a 10 year old wearing a nappy didn’t fit with his image of himself. What he did know was that this person Jill was caring, gentle and kind. Much like his mother had been. He liked that. His bottom felt better considering he was used to the sting of the rash he always seemed to have. And the nappy, despite the fact that he definitely wasn’t a baby, felt soft and comfortable. As for wetting the first one well that wasn’t unusual for him especially since his mother had gone and his father’s change in attitude, wet pants seemed to dog him although he tried to cover it as much as he could and to a large extent he had been successful. His tummy rumbled but that wasn’t unusual it always did. He was always hungry and amazed himself how he managed to get through each day with minimal nourishment.
Jill walked into the kitchen still with the boy cuddled in her arms. She removed a bottle from the refrigerator and heated it in the microwave. With the bottle warmed she made her way back to the couch and soon had him sitting on her lap. She opened the blanket slightly and pulled his bib out. Madison saw what she did and his eyes widened. He hadn’t seen that before. More baby clothes. What on earth is happening to me? First the nappy, now the bib, what next? Jill saw his anxiety.
“Don’t worry about the bib,” she said attempting to reassure him. “I put it on earlier just in case you vomited. I think I’ll leave for the time being just in case,” she said quietly. He accepted her explanation but he wasn’t too happy. What choice did he have he reasoned with himself. She was in control after all. He let her fiddle with the white bib until she had it spread over his pyjama top and blanket.
When he saw the baby’s bottle he started to pull back.
“Nooooo…I’m not a baby,” he squealed. “Why can’t I have a cup?”
Jill was patient. She gave the bottle a slight shake.
“It’s quite simple sweetie,” she said. “It is important to keep you hydrated yet have something in your tummy. This way I can control what you have and how much you get. When your body has been through a major crisis like you had, the first thing it will do is throw back anything it doesn’t want in your tummy,” she explained. “Now we can help that by drinking small amounts slowly. A baby’s bottle only holds a small amount and you can only get it out by suc-king it so controlling the flow, understand?”
He nodded slightly although he was not convinced. Maybe she was trying to turn him into a baby after all he was wearing nappies and a bib, the bottle was the next step.
Jill can see that he was finding the situation hard to come to grips with. She looked at him and gave him a warm smile.
“I know what you are thinking angel,” she said. “You think I’m treating you like a baby.” He nodded. “Well, in a way I am but only because you are ill at the moment and not able to help yourself,” she continued laying all the cards on the table. There was no use lying or being deceitful. She had to win his trust and this was the only way to do it. “Do you see that?”
“Yesss,” he whimpered as more tears rolled down his cheek. He really did feel retched and there was no way he could help himself at the moment, he knew that. He really had no choice but trust this woman he barely knew.
Jill picked up the corner of the bib and dabbed his eyes.
“You really are in a bad way aren’t you precious,” she cooed. He nodded and sniffed. “Just let me take care of you, okay?” she inquired.
“Okay,” he whispered. He really didn’t have the energy to meet her head on, nor the heart. She really was being so kind and gentle.
“Now, do you want the drink?” she asked quietly. He nodded. She lifted the bottle and rubbed the warm teat over his lips. He tentatively passed his tongue over his lips and the end of the teat sampling the warm liquid. It tasted thin but sweet. He opened his open slightly and Jill slipped the warm teat in. It rested on his tongue and he could feel the liquid dribble on to his tongue causing him to swallow. He took a tentative suc-k and was rewarded with more.
Jill was pleased when he took the teat. She heard him swallow then noted a slight tug as he took his first suc-k. Within minutes he was suc-king on the contents. “Good boy,” she cooed. “That’ll make you feel better baby.” There, she said it again, called him baby. Maybe he was. At the moment he didn’t care the warm liquid whatever it was, tasted nice and he wanted more.
Jill looked into his eyes. She could detect a degree of contentment. He sighed and she felt his body relax. Good, she thought, you’ll soon be wanting more bottles then the babying part will get easier and easier. She watched as his mouth worked on the nipple. She could almost feel him working on her nipple. It was an image which floated through her mind. Maybe, she mused just maybe. After all, her beloved Bethany still liked to nurse at least twice a day even at the age of three nearly four.
Madison began to ever so slightly cuddle into her. Jill could feel his minute movements and smiled inwardly. He felt him sliver slightly. That could mean one or two things either he was feeling cool or he had just wet himself. Suddenly he coughed and spluttered around the teat. Quickly it was removed and Jill held his bib to his mouth in case he vomited. He continued to cough. She gently wiped his mouth and chin. She realised that he had tried to swallow too much too quickly and it had caught in his throat.
“Careful sweetie,” she cooed. “Did that go down the wrong hole?” she chuckled. He nodded and grinned weakly. His tongue passed over his lips and Jill decided to wipe his tongue just to see how he would react. It was an old trick she used to play on Bethany and she always chuckled and giggled and would want to do it again and again. He smiled again and withdrew his tongue. He poked out slightly again and again she wiped it. He smiled. Yes, she thought, he’s starting to relax. She sat him up. Putting the bottle down she passed one arm around his waist and she gently rubbed his back with the other. Suddenly he belched then blushed at his babyish behaviour. “Good boy,” she cooed. “It’s better to have that windies out.” He belched again.
She waited for a few minutes to see if any more wind was dislodged then she cradled him in her arms again and teased the nipple over his lips. This time he took it without a murmur and starting nursing. She leaned down and kissed him affectionately on the forehead. She watched as he snuggled down to finishing nursing. At the same time his eyes began to blink repeatedly. It was clear he was fighting to keep them open. He shivered again. This time she snaked her free hand under the folds of the blanket and parted them. His pyjama top had ridden up exposing the soft pink skin of his back and tummy. It also accentuated the look of his nappy. She touched the white padding between his legs. It was damp. Jill managed to slip her fingers into the seat of his nappy. It was wet, just as she thought. His earlier shiver was a reaction to wetting. His body was deliciously warm.
Occasionally he would open his eyes and look at her. All this time he suc-kled on the teat. Finally he was suc-king air. She extracted the nipple. He had taken the whole bottle. She was elated. The warm formula would help him immensely.
“Good baby,” she cooed. He flicked his eyes open again then closed them. Carefully she dabbed his lips and wiped his chin of the excess milk. She could tell he was drifting into a deeper sleep. Yes, she mused, the whole bottle will soon make its presence known. You are going to be one wet baby when you wake.
Madison felt deliciously warm. The milk sat comfortably in his stomach. His mouth could still feel the sensation of the rubber nipple even after he had finished. He wriggled his body and snuggled further into the warm blanket and the body of this woman. His nappy felt wet although he didn’t remember doing it. His body wanted him to sleep. His mind wanted him to sleep and his heavy eyes were telling him they wanted to close. He surrendered.
Jill sat watching him intently. He was asleep she could see that. Ever so gently she brushed a strand of blonde hair from his temple. He certainly was a beautiful child. She agonised over how anyone could harm and abuse such a beautiful creature. He looked so baby-like lying in her arms, so innocent, so accepting and so trusting. Yes, she decided, he would make an adorable baby, boy or girl. She certainly had the clothes for a girl. She could picture him in one of Bethany’s pretty dresses. Even her shorts, shortalls, dungarees and long pants would serve him well if he objected to the feminine touch and insisted on preserving his boy image.
Very carefully she stood with her ‘baby’ and headed to the nursery. She stopped at the changing table. She had no intention of changing him even though he was wet. The nappy would take a couple more wettings. No, she had something else in mind. Jill reached into a plastic box to one side and retrieved a white dummy with a blue ring. It was one of Bethany’s, but one she hadn’t used. While she was standing at the table she gently rubbed the rubber nipple of the pacifier over his lips. Amazingly he let it slip into his mouth and she could see it bobbling in his mouth. Yes, my darling, you’ll make a beautiful baby. With that she placed the slumbering boy in the crib, rewrapped his blanket, raised the side of the cot and stole from the room after checking the baby monitor was on.
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Here we are my dears. Another part to the saga. I must say I ma heartened by the responses I have received. This story is one which is unfolding gradually as I plan it. Enjoy!
Part 3.
Jill felt satisfied with herself as she rinsed the bottle under the warm water. She was confident he would slip into his new role. It was obvious that his past was traumatic and his presence at her house meant he obviously had intentionally escaped from whatever environment was threatening his existence. It was going to be so wonderful having a baby back in the house. She missed Bethany so much. Perhaps, this little creature would be a good substitute. Time would tell. She rubbed her hands over her breasts. Her nipples felt unusually sensitive. Maybe it had been caused by the cold wind earlier that morning. She shrugged and passed it off.
Jill bustled around the cottage keeping an ear to the baby monitor. She decided to wash the nappies Madison had used. Finally these were hung on a clothes stand to dry above the fire. She gazed at the white cloth hanging limp. It was great having nappies drying around the house again. She realised how she missed this aspect which she had taken for granted when Bethany was alive. She could picture a line full of nappies fluttering in the breeze together with a mixture of baby clothes. Oh well it was start she mused.
Suddenly a piercing shout blasted from the monitor. Jill dropped what she was doing and quickly headed to the nursery. When she entered Madison was kneeling against the rail wailing. His dummy was hanging limp from its chain and his nappy drooped from his hips. Jill rushed over and managed to prize his hands from the bars, drop the rail and lift the frightened boy into her arms. Immediately he gripped her shirt and wailed piteously. He was wet that was evident. Jill also detected the odour of a poopy nappy. Whatever had woken him had also frightened him.
Jill patted his wet bottom and jiggled him in an effort to pacify him. She paced the nursery.
Madison didn’t remember being placed in the crib. He looked above and saw the face of his father rise over the end of the crib. He looked menacing and Madison began to whimper.
“What the f_ck are doing you little bashtard?” he slurred and reached for him. Madison cowered and grabbed the bars. “Come here little sod. I’ll get you,” he growled spraying saliva and stale alcohol over his face as his hand reached out to grab the quivering boy. Madison held the bars tighter and started screaming to scare his drunken father away. At the same time his bowels let go filling his pants. He screamed and screamed. The next thing he felt himself being lifted and wrapped in a pair of warm arms and soft voice penetrated his senses.
“Shh…shh…shhh!” she soothed. “Mama’s got you baby. You’re safe baby. Shh…shhh!”
Madison continued to cry but the noise gradually abated. Finally his cries subsided to sobs and he buried his face into her shoulder.
“Good baby,” she cooed. “That’s better. Everything will be alright,” she continued. “Come on little one let’s get this wet nappy changed then you’ll feel better,” she suggested.
Jill happened to notice the blanket he had been wrapped in was wet so she gathered that and headed out of the nursery and deposited it in the laundry. With Madison still his arms she managed to spread a thick towel on the table then lay a fresh nappy and the necessary supplies beside it.
“Are you going to let me change that yucky nappy?” she asked quietly. Still sobbing the little boy nodded. Before she laid him down she picked up his pacifier. “Here, sweetheart have your dummy it’ll make you feel better,” she said quietly as she put it to his lips. He took it and started suc-king it vigorously. “Good boy,” she said softly. “You had a pretty bad dream didn’t you sweetheart?” Madison nodded still sniffling.
“I…I…p…po…” he stammered but couldn’t get the words out as fresh tears slipped down his cheeks. He was so embarrassed to admit to such a babyish action.
“Shhh….shhhh…” Jill soothed. “I know darling you’ve got a poopy nappy.” This statement brought fresh sobs. “Hey, hey sweetie. It’s okay. These things happen. After all it’s only a nappy and they wash,” she continued. “I’m sure it won’t be your last poopy nappy,” she assured him. Madison said nothing and let her soft words wash over him. Then he realised the gravity of the last statement. Did she say he’d be doing it again? No it couldn’t be! After all he was nearly 10 years old and 10 year olds don’t poop their pants. Mind you 10 year olds also don’t drink from baby’s bottles, s_ck on dummies and wear nappies just like he had been doing. Maybe he was a baby. He was certainly behaving like one. This would be his third nappy change. Maybe he could…no he couldn’t get use to this…or could he?
Jill gently laid the boy on the table. He looked at her face through teary eyes. She picked up his bib and gently dabbed his eyes and wiped his nose tweaking it in the process. While she lifted his pyjama top he looked around the kitchen. He could see the two empty bottles on the bench and what looked like another waiting in a jug. His head snapped back to her when he felt her remove the nappy pins. Her disarming smile helped ease his rising anxiety.
As Jill pulled the nappy away from between his legs Madison opened them and lifted them to curl them near his tummy. It was a reflex action but it drew an affectionate response from Jill.
“Good boy,” she cooed impressed at his response and she started to carefully wipe his bottom with cleaner parts of the nappy. Madison jerked and whimpered. “Shhh little one I know it hurts but the rash is starting to heal nicely,” she responded. “Just hold still sweetie that’s the boy,” she said. Madison could feel her gentle ministrations. Although his bottom still hurt it was not as bad as had been earlier. Jill finished the task with a couple of cool wipes then she rolled the nappy in on itself and placed it aside. Madison saw this and was inwardly horrified when he saw the yellowy cloth. He realised that he had done that and a rush of confusing thoughts flittered through his mind. His thoughts were interrupted with a warm soft nappy pulled up firmly between his legs. He sighed as she pinned it closed. Jill sensed his sigh and smiled inwardly. Yes, she thought, he was coming along nicely. He didn’t fight the nappy change in fact he readily accepted it. As she readjusted his pyjama top she cooed softly to him.
“There we go baby one clean and dry little boy,” she smiled. Madison smiled weakly at her, with that she lifted him into her arms kissing him affectionately on the forehead.
Even though he barely knew this woman he was beginning to accept and trust her. She was gentle, warm and kind. The soothing words she consistently used were washing over him and he was beginning to love the attention. Her actions reminded him of his mother. She was similar. A gentle cheerful woman full of love and affection for him, he suddenly realised how much he missed her. This other woman was picking up those pieces and in his mind slowly repairing the puzzle.
Jill put the boy on his feet. Madison looked at her unsure of his balance. He grasped a nearby chair for support before taking a couple of tentative steps. He stopped. Jill smiled at him as she picked up his soiled nappy.
“Just wait here darling while I get rid of this,” she explained and left the room heading to the laundry. Madison stayed where he was. He was unsure if he could or should follow. He still felt weak and didn’t trust his ability to stay on his feet. His free hand caressed the soft bulk between his legs. It felt reassuring although in his mind it shouldn’t. Eventually Jill returned. He had remained where she left him. He looked adorable with his tousled blonde hair, dummy bobbling in his mouth, white bib, pink pyjama top, white thick nappy and pink booties. He presented a picture of toddler innocence. When she reached him she lifted him effortlessly into her arms. Immediately he spread his legs and wrapped them around her waist. She reached for the warm bottle and carried him into the lounge. Gently she laid him on the couch then sat beside him then reached over and slipped his pacifier from his mouth.
“Here darling,” she cooed and rested the warm rubber nipple on his lips. Madison took the bottle and immediately started nursing. He hadn’t asked for the bottle and she certainly didn’t ask if he wanted it. She just assumed he would take which he did. Jill held the bottle for a few minutes while Madison suc-ked the warm contents into his tummy his deep brown eyes fixed on her. She captivated him. He didn’t know why, maybe it was her warm, caring demeanour, maybe the aspects of ‘his mother’ coming through, or maybe she was providing something for him he hadn’t had for a long time – a loving mother. In addition he noticed the ever present hunger pangs, which had always appeared to gnaw constantly at his stomach and mind, were no longer present. It had suffered that pain for such a long time that it felt strange not having it there. Oh, it was a wonderful feeling to have a full tummy and this warm liquid just seemed to soothe his inner being and fill him with contentment. He never wanted to ever have that empty feeling constantly in his psyche.
Jill watched him as he nursed. He hadn’t baulked at the bottle. He hadn’t fought to have his nappy changed. Maybe just maybe he was slipping into the role she was planning for him. He certainly looked a picture a baby cuteness nursing his bottle. She watched as one of his hands idly searched for his soft wavy blonde hair and started playing with it.
“Here darling you hold your bottle. I’ve got things to do,” suggested Jill. Madison used his free hand to grasp it. Jill left the couch, checked the fire and disappeared down the hall.
Madison looked around the room. It had a comfortable warm feel. He noticed the nappies hanging from the clothes airier and blushed. They were his, he knew that. The carpet looked thick and inviting as did the comfortable chairs. He saw an array of paintings on the wall and the photographs. Yes the photographs. He detected pictures of a baby, and a toddler and a little girl. So there was a child in the house yet he hadn’t seen her. Then there were the pictures of a lady, whom he recognised as Jill, and a man holding the girl. A man! He shuddered. He didn’t want to meet him that’s for sure, especially if he was anything like his father.
His free hand ventured down and started caressing the soft fluffy nappy between his legs. He wriggled his bottom and the softness played over his skin. His peenie started to thicken inside its soft cocoon of cloth. Suddenly a high pitched tweeting caught his attention.
-
Part 4
The noise appeared to come from the window. Madison rolled off the couch and waddled in that direction. He ignored the reflection of himself in the glass and peered out into the garden. He saw a tidy garden festooned with immaculate shrubs and tall trees. These trees were now in the grip of autumn and their leafy mantle was rapidly withering away. He watched as the mixture of brown, gold and orange leaves skipped and danced over the lawn chased by a keen wind. He felt a presence behind him and looked up. Jill was standing over him her hands resting lightly on his shoulders. He continued to s_ck on his bottle. Soon he could feel Jill’s warm fingers play through his hair. It felt wonderful. He leaned back into her as he did so his bladder emptied without any warning. He felt his nappy grow warm and ignored it.
There it was again the high pitched tweeting. Madison followed it with his eyes. A small grey bird with a long flicking tail was darting and frolicking among the leaves and branches.
Madison pointed to the creature.
“What dat?” he asked around the nipple of the bottle.
Jill eyes saw what he was referring to and chuckled. “That’s a fantail darling,” she explained. “Haven’t you ever seen one?” she asked. He shook his head. Jill smiled. “They’re cheeky little birds but fun to watch. I love them. Whenever I’m out in the garden they’ll come dancing around me catching the insects that are disturbed. They’ll fly right up to you and follow you around. I’ll show you one day,” she suggested. He nodded.
Madison continued to look out the window. He loved the soft action of her fingers through his hair. It was so soothing and intoxicating.
“Where dis house?” he asked looking around for the sign of neighbours.
“My little house is about 5 kilometres outside Overton on the main road to Stanton,” she explained. Madison nodded although he had no idea where that was. “Where’s your house sweetie?” she asked softly. Madison took the bottle from his mouth and little milk dribbled down his chin and onto his bib. Jill saw this reflected in the window and gently leaned over him and used the bib to wipe his chin. His eyes twinkled when he looked up at her.
“I live in Kilmarne,” he replied a little apprehensively.
“Kilmarne,” Jill said to herself as she tried to orientate herself in her mind. Then the realisation hit her. “Kilmarne!” she repeated incredulously. ”That’s on the other side of Overton. Do you mean to say you walked over 20 kilometres to get here,” she stated aghast at the very suggestion.
“I don’t know. Probably. I don’t remember,” he replied.
She was astounded. For him to make a journey of that magnitude in terrible weather was remarkable and amazing. “What an incredibly brave boy,” she crooned allowing her fingers to continue smoothing his hair. “Won’t your Mummy be worried about you?” she ventured to see what his response would be.
“No,” he responded which surprised her. “She’s dead.” Jill gasped.
“Oh my God you poor boy,” she said sadly and she was. “What about your Dad won’t he miss you?” she continued. She felt his body stiffen. “Maybe we need to get you back to him,” she suggested. Suddenly Madison spun round, dropped his bottle and wrapped his arms tightly around her legs. He was becoming agitated.
“NO! NO! NO!” he shrieked grasping her even tighter. “Don’t send me back! Please don’t!” he shouted. Now he was very agitated. “Please, please I’ll do anything. Promise you won’t send me back.” By now Jill was shocked at his reaction. Swiftly she picked the heartbroken boy into her arms. Immediately he clung to her tighter than ever and started to wail. He was so sad and dejected. She cuddled him close placing one hand behind his head and the other on the seat of his wet nappy. Slowly she walked around the room trying to calm him down. “Promise you won’t,” he wept.
“You poor, poor baby,” she soothed. “I promise darling. I won’t send you back,” she replied. It was out before she realised what she was saying. Now she had to somehow make good on her promise. That last thing she needed to do was to show him that she was a liar and unreliable. How she would keep this promise? She had now presented herself with a huge problem but she felt she was obligated to deliver. “I promise darling, I promise,” she repeated over and over again to reassure him. It was beginning to work. She could feel his body slowly relax and his sobs subside until the occasional sniffle was heard. “Madison baby, did your father hurt you?” she said to him very softly.
“Yes,” he whimpered.
“Were you naughty?”
“Noooo,” he whimpered.
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” he stammered. His reply perplexed her.
“I don’t understand honey,” she cooed. Jill waited for him to regain his composure. She sat down on the couch and swung him onto her lap until he was cuddled into her. She used his bib to wipe his eyes and clean his nose. “Take your time honey,” she softly suggested.
Suddenly he opened up to her and everything poured out in a jumble of words and statements. He mentioned about his mother’s death and his father’s heavy drinking, and the lack of food, and the physical assaults when his father was blind drunk. He mentioned how frightened he had become, how hungry he was, how dirty and unkempt he had become. He spoke of his fear when at home of being unable to do anything in case he provoked his father. Finally he spoke of the night which brought about his ‘escape.’ Jill was astounded and shocked at what she heard. The blatant abuse made her angry and more determined to protect this little boy and keep him with her. When he mentioned about his mother’s untimely death from big headaches she realised how much the boy missed his mother and what she was doing was similar, in many ways, to what his mother used to do, with a few exceptions.
Exhausted after his emotional and psychological ordeal Madison closed his eyes and slept. Jill cradled him in her arms. God he was beautiful, more so now she was aware of his torrid ordeal and desperate journey. At this moment she had a tired infant in her arms. That was the picture he presented. He stirred slightly and she managed to slip his dummy into his mouth. Immediately he began to s_ck it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the wet patch in the front of his nappy grow bigger. Yes, she mused, he was just a baby, really.
Jill knew from her experiences with Bethany that this type of sleep induced by pent up nervous energy lasted a short time, maybe twenty minutes to a half hour. She continued to cradle him. He twitched and wriggled as he slept. His dummy continued to bobble in his mouth sometimes vigorously. She could almost see the images he had related being replayed while he slept. She felt his nappy grow warm again this time soaking the seat of his nappy and her hand.
Finally his eyes flickered open and he nuzzled her slightly.
“Are you okay sweetheart?” she whispered. He nodded and nestled in closer. “I think I need to change a wet bottom,” she cooed. He looked at her and nodded slightly. Madison knew he was wet but it didn’t concern him. After all she would fix him up and make it all better.
Jill reached over to the table beside the couch and retrieved a fresh nappy. At the same time she gathered the wipes and cream. She was pleased she had the foresight to place some supplies close by. It had always proved ideal for Bethany and now it was doing so for him. She noticed a towel lying over the back of the couch and grabbed that too. The last thing she wanted to do was to lay him on the couch and wet the fabric. Standing with him still cradled in her arms she managed, with some effort, to spread the towel over the couch. She knew he didn’t want to be put down. He seemed to constantly pull himself closer to her. Finally she laid him on the towel and sat beside him. At the same time she smiled lovingly at him and she watched him melt before her eyes.
Madison was at Jill’s mercy. He lay on the couch hands beside his head and a very wet nappy bunched between his legs. He sighed and suc-ked his dummy. Jill touched the wet cloth.
“My, what a very wet baby,” she cooed as she carefully lifted back his pyjama top exposing his soft tummy. “Yes he is. Yes he is. A very wet baby,” she continued as she caressed his tummy. Madison smiled around his dummy. Jill was thrilled. It was the first time he had smiled at her out of genuine trust. “Wow what a gorgeous smile,” she declared. This induced a broader response. Jill reached for the nappy pins and slipped them from the cloth. As she pulled the wet nappy away from his groin he parted his legs to allow her more access. “Good baby,” she said softly as she pushed his ankles until his bottom was clear of the nappy enabling her to remove it. Taking a few wipes she wiped his bottom. Madison flinched slightly when she touch the rash. Jill acknowledged his pain with a reassuring smile.
Deftly Jill slipped a fresh nappy under his bottom, rubbed soothing cream over his rash then pinned the nappy closed.
“There darling,” she responded. “One clean dry baby.” Madison quickly rolled onto his knees and before Jill could leave the couch and crawled to her and she responded by taking him in her arms again. He definitely needed reassurance now she mused as he snuggled in. It was clear to her that he was putting all his trust in her now and that was exactly how she wanted it.
With her ‘baby’ still in her arms she took the wet nappy to the laundry placing with his other soiled nappies ready for her attention. Jill returned to the lounge and sat down again. At this point it was important for her to maintain that tangible link to him. In a way it was part of the bonding process she was building.
Finally she seated herself on the couch with Madison on her lap. He nestled into her again and she wrapped her arms around him. There was a long silence until Madison looked up at her with soulful eyes.
“Where’s da children?” he asked quietly around his dummy.
Jill looked at him for a moment considering his question. “There are no children,’ she said softly. Madison looked puzzled. He looked towards the photos then back at her.
“But…” he paused.
“Ahh those,” responded Jill. “I had a daughter,” she admitted. He still looked bemused.
“Where…?”
“Oh she’s died just over a year ago along with her Daddy,” Jill continued her voice developing a faraway tone. Madison’s eyes widened and Jill could see the shock in them. “One Saturday they were on their way into Sheridan to swim. She liked swimming and my husband Rob was teaching her. Anyway a large truck drove through an intersection without stopping and drove straight into them killing both of them…” Jill’s voice trailed off as she looked at the photos on the wall. Recounting the tragedy again was difficult. Madison could feel her arms tighten slightly around him. He wanted to squirm but didn’t. Jill kissed him tenderly, almost absentmindedly on his head. “She would have been five now you know,” Jill volunteered softly. “She would have loved school,” she continued. She looked at him. “Bethany was a pretty girl you know. Just like you.” Madison blushed. Jill realised then what she said. “Oh I’m not suggesting that you are a girl sweetie. It’s just that you are a beautiful boy and she was a beautiful girl. She had big brown eyes, long dark hair, a cute button nose and a smiling mouth that was always laughing and smiling. She was a happy girl, very busy and energetic,” Jill described with immense pride in her tone. Madison quickly picked up the impression that he would have liked this girl now he knew her name. It was a pretty name and he liked it. He knew a Bethany at school and she was nice. “I really miss them both but especially Bethany,” whispered Jill. She looked at him again. “Just like you miss your Mummy. I suppose, in a way, we are both lost souls looking for that important someone in our lives,” suggested Jill. Madison had no idea what she was talking about but, yes, he did miss his Mummy. Suddenly he turned in her arms and flung them around her neck. This action caught Jill by surprise. When he nuzzled his face into her neck she wrapped her arms lovingly around him pulling him closer. Her hand went to his padded bottom and she started to pat it. At the same time she began to kiss the side of his face. Madison could feel his nappy being patted and the warm soft cloth being rubbed over his bottom. It felt wonderful and reassuring. He knew it shouldn’t because after all he was ten not two, but all the same it was great.
“Mummy,” he whispered before he could stop himself. Jill was touched. This boy, she barely knew and had only ‘found’ a few hours ago was now calling her ‘Mummy’ a word she hadn’t heard, and thought she would never hear again after Bethany’s passing. Madison was embarrassed. He hadn’t intended to call her Mummy but it slipped out. He kept his face buried too scared to show it, such was his embarrassment.
Jill figured he was embarrassed and started rubbing his back by way of reassurance. Now was the time she thought. Now was the time to set everything on track, in her mind especially.
“Would you like me to be your Mummy?” she whispered to him. Madison was surprised slightly by the question and didn’t respond initially. “Would you?” she probed. “Look at me darling,” she asked. Madison lifted his head and looked at her. Jill noted immediately that he was suc-king his dummy quite vigorously. He looked into her eyes. He wanted to answer but had trouble getting it out. “Do you darling?” He nodded.
Jill’s eyes lit up. “Oh baby of course I will,” she cooed pulling him into an affectionate hug. “Of course I will,” she repeated. “You are such an adorable boy who wouldn’t want to have you for themselves.” Silence prevailed. Jill decided to embark on the next step in her plan. She could feel him relax under her embrace. Now was the time she mused. “Madison darling, I have something I would like to ask you, can you look at me honey?” she asked. Madison lifted his head and looked at her. Jill noticed immediately how relaxed his face looked. It was almost as if her acceptance of him as his mother had lifted an enormous burden off his tiny, frail shoulders.
“Yeth Mummy,” he lisped. She kissed him affectionately on the forehead.
“Would you be my….”
“Yeth,” he interrupted before she had time to finish.
“…Baby,” she finished. Madison knew he had just agreed to something without hearing the full question. He thought she was going to ask him to be her son not her baby. “You know what you have agreed to?” she quizzed. He looked at her.
“I fink so,” he lisped but he was still slightly confused.
“You have agreed to be my baby,” she clarified. “Understand?”
“I fink so.”
“You have to be sure sweetheart,” she reasoned. It had to be his decision. She wasn’t going to pressure him. He had to agree and be happy with that. He nodded. “You know what it means darling?” she asked.
“I fink so,” he murmured.
“You need to be sure little one,” she said. “You tell me what it means so I know you understand.”
Madison looked at her intently. He had a number of vague thoughts in his mind but was too hesitant to voice them. He shifted on her lap and his nappy rubbed between his legs. Jill waited patiently. This was important for her so she could hear it from him.
Madison swallowed and suc-ked on his dummy.
“Just tell me what you think when you are ready,” offered Jill her voice in a whisper. Madison nodded.
A few minutes ticked by. Madison could feel his bladder fill. He fidgeted. He let the dummy slip from his mouth. Jill immediately picked up the corner of his bib and wiped his mouth and chin.
“Ahhh…” he paused. “I…I...drink bottles and have a dummy. I sleep in a crib and I…I…” he paused again and looked down then looked up blushing. “I wear nappies.” There it was out and immediately he hid his face in her shoulder out of sheer embarrassment.
“Yes darling,” she concurred. “You’re right. You’ll be my baby, okay” she probed.
“Yeth,” he whispered and nestled in closer.
Jill picked up his dummy. “Here darling,” she inquired. Madison turned his face and took the rubber nipple and starting suc-king. “Good baby,” she cooed. He sighed and his bladder emptied. Jill felt his nappy grow warm and smiled. Oh yes you are my baby now she said to herself.
-
Yes there is more. Enjoy!
Part 5.
Jill resisted the urge to change him. He was going to have a bath soon after a light dinner. He could wait until then. After all he will have to get used to being in wet nappies she thought.
“Come on darling,” she finally said. “How about some din-dins?” Without waiting for an answer she left the couch and carried him out into the kitchen. Jill headed for the highchair near the far wall and dragged it over near the table. Pulling back the tray she slipped him in and secured the tray in front.
Madison sat secured in the highchair. He looked around the kitchen. It felt strange sitting in the infantile chair. He could feel the dampness of his nappy press into his crotch and bottom. He fidgeted. He wasn’t sure about what the future held. What had he let himself in for? Why had he been so hasty with his answer? He continued to s_ck his dummy. At least to him it felt reassuring. suc-king his thumb was one habit he had always had. His mother indulged him and even encouraged his use of a pacifier at bedtime right up until her untimely death. But his father on the other hand was less tolerant. Once they were alone he made Madison’s life difficult if the boy had his thumb in his mouth. As for using his pacifier that ceased because his father threw them out.
“Only babies use these!” he scowled.
Often Madison would be met with a slap to the hand or face if his thumb was there. Even at night when curled up in his bed, often sobbing to himself, his father would come into his room and rip his out of his mouth, sometimes tying his hands up or even cuffing them to the bed. He was blatantly cruel but it didn’t stop the very insecure boy from indulging secretly in his only comfort. Now with Jill it was different. She was encouraging his use of a pacifier and Madison took to it readily.
He watched as Jill prepared something at the bench. He couldn’t see what she was doing but whatever it was smelt delicious.
Jill decided that scrambled egg would be a perfect light meal for him. She was still cautious about putting anything too heavy or bulky in his stomach. After all with his seriously under nourished condition it was important to slowly lift his nutrition levels. She decided she would make herself an omelette later after she had put him down for the night.
Occasionally she would steal a glance at him. He looked positively angelic strapped in the high chair. In fact she was surprised how well he fitted into the infant furniture. She could see him idly swinging his legs and caught a glimpse of his white nappy bunched between his legs. To her he looked every inch a toddler. His pacifier bobbling in his mouth, the white bib tied around his neck and his delicate hands pawing absentmindedly at the tray of the chair confirmed the image in her mind. Yes, she thought, he was going to be a perfect baby. Given his very thin and short stature he certainly did not look like a near 10 year old, not even a 6 or 7 year old. At present he looked every inch a three to four year old. She would slowly and carefully make him totally dependent on her for everything.
Having made the scrambled egg she stirred it to cool even spooning some to her lips to test its temperature. The last thing she wanted to do was burn his mouth. Madison saw her do this and he began to dribble with saliva dribbling down his chin behind the shield of his dummy.
Jill approached the high chair stirring the egg. She settled herself in front of him greeting him with an affectionate smile. She removed his pacifier with a ‘plop’. She noticed the wetness behind his dummy, picking up the corner of his bib she wiped his chin and mouth.
“Is my baby hungry?” she cooed as she filled the first spoonful. Madison had his mouth open before it was full. “Oh sweetie you are,” she cooed as she placed the spoonful in his mouth. The taste in Madison’s mouth was exotic. He crushed the smooth textured food and swallowed it opening his mouth for the next spoonful. Jill prattled to him as she fed him. She couldn’t keep up with his demand. At one point he closed his mouth early and the egg cascaded down his chin and bib and onto the tray of the chair. “Whoops sweetie careful darling,” she Jill as she scooped it up and placed it in his mouth. “My, what a hungry baby,” she stated as the bowl quickly emptied. With the last spoonful she wiped his mouth with the spoon. “All gone sweetheart,” she said showing him the empty bowl. Madison pouted. He had thoroughly enjoyed the meal. “Never mind darling you can have a small sandwich with marmite while I get your bath ready,” she stated as she placed the bowl on the bench and prepared the sandwich. The small wedges were placed on his tray and she left the kitchen while he ate it.
Madison loved marmite sandwiches especially when he suc-ked the bread to extract the rich yeasty flavour. It did not matter whether the marmite was spread on crackers, toast or as a sandwich filling he liked to lick and s_ck the slightly bitter yeast extract spread. His mother often chided him for this habit because he would inevitably smear his face with the remnants of the rich black paste but she never stopped him. She used to chuckle at the messy condition which often resulted. This never happened with his father because he never got marmite sandwiches or marmite at all. The only food which tended to appear was bread which was often dry and stale as most of the money in the house was spent on booze with bread being added as an afterthought. He was thankful for school lunch which enabled him to widen his diet slightly but still not enough to improve his nutritional intake. Thus, slowly over time Madison lost weight and condition.
He enjoyed the sandwiches. He happily suc-ked out the juice of the dark rich filling. He could feel the juice run down his chin but he didn’t care. This was the first time had had one of these sandwiches since before his mother’s death and he was savouring every morsel and every drip of the spread and saliva mix. He happened to look down and noticed the dark stains where his marmitey saliva had dribbled down his bib. He picked up a piece of soggy bread and put it in his mouth. Boy it was good.
Jill reappeared in the kitchen to see how he was progressing with the sandwich and retrieve him for his bath. Her mouth dropped when saw the condition he was in. His face was smeared with marmite and soggy bread. His hands were a gooey mess and she could see bits of soggy bread on the tray of his chair. He was every inch the picture of a messy toddler.
“Oh, what a messy baby,” she chided him softly as she tried to wipe his face and hands with his already dirty bib. He looked up at her and gave her a sloppy marmite and bread grin. “Don’t you smile at me your mucky baby,” she chuckled. “You really enjoyed that didn’t you little one?” she asked not expecting an answer as she unclipped the tray of the chair and lifted him out of infant apparatus and placed him on his feet. Taking his sticky hand she led him down to the bathroom. Madison toddled unsteadily alongside her. He still wasn’t sure of his balance. Jill was acutely aware of this as she felt him lurch slightly. She put it down to his dire predicament earlier that day. She felt confident that this situation would rectify itself over the coming days as he gained strength and reaped the benefit of a proper diet.
As Madison toddled down the hallway with Jill holding his hand he could feel the nappy rub between his legs and around his bottom. It was the first time he had walked in a nappy as throughout the day he was either being carried around, cradled in her arms or standing in one place. The sensation was unusual but not unpleasant. The presence of the bulky cloth was accentuated by its wet condition. This made it droop between his legs. He had been in nappies all day and already was becoming used to them. He knew in the back of mind that this would continue after all he had agreed to be her baby and as her baby he would be confined to nappies.
He was stirred from his day dream when he stopped beside the bath. He looked at the steaming water and the soapy foam floating on the top. The steam snaked up from the water bringing with it the aroma of the bubble bath that his ‘mother’ had added. Jill knelt in front of him and he looked at her. She smiled.
“Right little one let’s get you in the tub eh,” she said and began to remove his bib and pink pyjama top which were dropped to the floor. These were followed by his singlet. “Hold on to Mummy,” she urged. Madison grabbed her shirt to steady himself as he watched her remove his booties. Now he was standing just clad in his wet nappy. “Now this nasty old wet nap-nap,” she cooed and she removed both nappy pins and the wet garment flopped to the floor with a soggy ‘splot’. “Right baby into the tub,” she said as she lifted him by his armpits and placed him in the warm water.
As he sat in the warm water Madison watched her pick up his clothes and drop them a hamper labelled ‘My Baby’s Clothes’ and drop his wet nappy into a large light blue pail. Probably a nappy bucket, thought Madison, for my nappies. Jill returned to the bath knelt down and picked up a large white flannel and began to rub it gently over his back. Madison revelled in the sensation. It felt great as the soft wet fibres caressed his sensitive skin. He looked up at her. Jill lathered up the flannel and began to wash his chest and arms along with his back. She rinsed him off with quantities of warm water.
It had been a long time since anyone had bathed him. He remembered his mother bathing him and knew it was something he enjoyed. He wasn’t sure now though. He was a bit apprehensive about it now after all he was nearly ten and could wash himself and he didn’t really know her. After his mother had passed away he managed to snatch the odd shower only after his father had collapsed into a drunken sleep. During the summer it was different because he was able to use class swimming as an opportunity for a daily ‘bath’ and sometimes snuck down to the local stream to wash and swim as well. As the weather cooled this practice became fraught. So this was first real and proper bath in a while. Of course he couldn’t remember the bath he had been given very early that morning.
Jill sensed his apprehension about her giving him a bath but she was determined to make it a truly wonderful experience. She could feel the tenseness in his thin fragile body. She cast her eyes over the bruises on his tiny frail torso as the flannel caressed his chest. Her heart ached for him. How they must have hurt. How could anyone do this to such a beautiful and angelic creature especially his father of all people who is supposed to be protecting his child not assaulting him. Jill knew in her own mind that he would never experience anything thing like that ever again now he was with her. Maybe he might receive the odd smack to his nappied bottom if he ever misbehaved but it would only be a ‘correctional tap’ not an all-out assault. She sincerely hoped that the sensuous actions of the flannel would penetrate his defences, reassure his mind and relax his being, and start that vital bonding and trust which was necessary. She smiled at him lovingly as she rinsed the soap off him.
“Lie back darling,” she cooed and she coaxed him lie in the warm water supporting him under his neck and shoulders. Madison shuddered slightly and twitched in the water. “It’s alright precious Mummy wants to make sure her baby boy is clean and fresh, okay,” she whispered. He nodded slightly swallowing the build-up of nervous saliva in his mouth. Slowly Jill washed his arms again then worked her way down his body and legs to his feet. He twitched when she washed his feet. He was ticklish. Then she worked her way up the inside of his legs. Madison could feel the flannel massage its way up towards his groin. “Leggies apart darling so Mummy can wash your botty,” she asked. He looked at her intently and swallowed again but parted them as the flannel reached his inner thighs. Jill could feel him spread his legs. “Good baby,” she praised. Madison took a sharp breath in when she started washing around his peenie and caressed his little sack. Again Jill gave him a reassuring smile. She worked the flannel down between his legs and worked her fingers between his bum-cheeks then over his little globes. “What a good boy?” she cooed. “Such a good baby, aren’t you eh. There, nice clean botty and a lovely clean baby boy,” she said lifting him to a sitting position. With a final rinse of the flannel she washed his face and ears. When she removed the flannel he looked at her and a small smile crept along his shiny face. He had enjoyed that bath. He shouldn’t been worried or embarrassed about her ministration because she had been wiping his bottom every time she changed his nappy and this was really no different. “Was that good darling?” she asked.
“Yes Mummy,” he whispered.
Jill released the water and lifted him under his armpits and stood him on the bathmat where she wrapped him in a large soft pink bath towel and gave his body several vigorous rubs before lifting him into her arms and exiting the bathroom. Madison felt relaxed and deliciously warm. The pink towel seemed to trap the warmth inside.
Jill carried the warm damp body into the nursery and laid him on the changing table. She opened the towel and continued to dry him. Madison lay in front of her transfixed as she rubbed the towel over every square millimetre of his skin. He didn’t ‘bat an eyelid’ when carefully parted his legs and wiped the creases in his groin, around his bottom and peenie. In fact he became slightly embarrassed as his peenie began to thicken when she dried it. Jill ignored it. Before he was aware of what he was doing, his thumb was in his mouth and he was happily suc-king the warm morsel.
Just like Bethany used to do mused Jill. She used to do it when she was content so she hoped that was the case for him. She ignored it initially as she focused on drying him thoroughly. Madison felt his body being rolled around like a baby as Jill removed the damp towel from under him. She leaned him and reached into a dish above Madison’s head. His eyes followed her but he couldn’t see what she doing. His thumb remained in his mouth. Jill grabbed a pink pacifier.
“Let’s take this out sweetie,” she cooed as she gently pulled his thumb from his mouth. He let her. “Here darling this is better,” she continued as she placed the rubber nipple against his lips. Madison opened his mouth and the pacifier slipped in. He started suc-king it immediately. The nipple was bigger than the one he had had earlier in the day and the shield was bigger covering all his mouth and resting just below his nose. The rubbery bulb filled his mouth more but the sensations it produced as his mouth worked on it were just the same if not better. Jill was pleased. It was obvious now that the pacifier was going to be become an important part of his life. She watched it as it bobbled in his mouth. She leaned over and kissed him tenderly on the forehead. She heard him sigh. Yes, she thought, he was content.
Jill picked up the baby powder and sprinkled a generous amount over his body and rubbed it all over. Picking up his ankles together she lifted his legs back and slipped a clean thick nappy under his bottom. She let his feet go and was amazed that he left them bent over his tummy in the classic nappy change position. She picked up the baby oil and started to massage it over his bottom, sack and peenie. Picking up the discarded bath towel she wiped her hands. Smiled lovingly at him she pulled the nappy up between his legs the thick cloth spreading his legs wider. Just before she closed the nappy she picked up his peenie and slipped it down between his legs.
“Let’s point your little person down there eh, so my baby’s wee-wees goes into his nappy,” she happily explained. Madison could feel her shift his little tool and place it carefully then covered it until it was cocooned in the soft nappy. Deftly she pinned the nappy snugly closed. Madison looked down as she inserted the two pink-tipped nappy pins into the cloth and closed them with a ‘click’. Jill patted the thick cloth bunched between his legs. “All snug as a bug,” she cooed. Next she pushed his legs back again and slipped a pair of yellow pilchers under the nappy and velcroed them closed.
Madison watched as she slipped a yellow pair of soft woollen booties over his feet and tied the ribbons. The whole time Madison lay on the table allowing his new Mummy to dress him like a baby. He did nothing to help in fact he didn’t think anything was expected of him. This was confirmed when he felt his head being carefully lifted and a singlet was slipped over and his arms inserted then his body was rolled from side to side as the garment was eased down his body and pulled down over his bulky bottom. Jill picked up a yellow pyjama top with small brown bears dotted over it and did the same. His head was lifted, the top slipped over his head, his arms threaded into the sleeves and his body moved as it was eased down his body. Madison could feel her tying the yellow ribbon at his throat and wrists. Finally a pink bib was tied around his neck.
Madison wasn’t sure about the use of pink things. Yellow he didn’t mind after all it could be a boy’s colour but pink was a different proposition. Then he figured that these clothes he was being dressed in probably belonged to her daughter. He was amazed that they fit him. He knew he was small for his age. That was something he had been bullied over right through his schooling but he didn’t think he was that small unless, of course, her daughter had been bigger than your average toddler. That was it, he satisfied himself, that was the only possible answer.
Before he knew he could feel his ‘Mummy’s’ hands slip under his armpits again and he was lifted into her arms.
“Come on little one,” she cooed as she settled him on her hip and straightened his bib and pyjama top and started to exit the nursery. “Time for a nice warm bottle, eh.” Madison looked at her not saying anything. There really wasn’t anything to say she was doing everything for him including making his decisions and answering his questions for him. He placed his arms around her shoulder and looked around as they walked down the hallway and into the lounge where Jill dropped the damp towel over the fireguard then carried on into the kitchen.
Madison saw the nipple of a bottle protruding out of a jug which had small wisps of steam escaping. Jill picked up the bottle and gave it several shakes before drying it and heading into the lounge and the large comfortable couch.
After seating herself she swung him around until he was cradled in her arms. Madison nestled in. It felt warm and snug. He could feel the warmth radiant from her body adding to the warmth provided by the bath. He began to feel sleepy. Jill watched as he stifled a yawn.
“I think my little boy is a very tired baby, eh,” she cooed as she adjusted his bib and slipped his dummy out of his mouth. After wiping his chin she placed the dripping rubber nipple on his lips. Immediately Madison took the warm nipple and starting nursing. Jill could see and hear his audible suc-ks. He was guzzling the warm formula. “Wow, wow little one slow down. You’ll fill your tummy with wind,” she crooned as she withdrew the nipple momentarily. Madison mewled. He wanted the bottle especially the warm sweet liquid inside. Jill smiled at him as she reinserted the nipple and he started nursing.
Madison loved the sensation of the warm rubber nipple over his tongue and the roof of his mouth. With each s_ck his mouth filled with the deliciously soothing liquid. Whatever it was tasted magical. He could feel his tummy filling each time he swallowed. Jill could hear his swallows too. Madison shifted in her arms and nestled closer. He could feel his body relax. He felt so tired, so sleepy. Jill watched his eyes close then open quickly. He was fighting the onset of sleep. He closed his eyes again and this time his suc-king slowed. He sighed deeply and resumed suc-king vigorously only to slow again. Jill looked at the bottle. He was about three quarters of the way through it.
“Come on little one,” she whispered. “Just a little more.” Madison stopped suc-king. Small bubbles gurgled into the bottle as the air rapidly filled the space. Jill rubbed the nipple over his tongue. He began to s_ck again for a few minutes then stopped. Jill could see he was asleep. His breathing had slowed. Slowly she extracted the nipple and the milk that was in his mouth oozed out over his chin and onto his bib. Carefully Jill wiped away the excess. Looking at the bottle she noticed that there was only a few millilitres left. Well, she mused, at least he had taken most of it.
Very carefully she lifted him until he was propped against her with his head on her shoulder. He wriggled and squirmed. Supporting his padded bottom with one hand she patted and rubbed his back. He squirmed again. He was just like a baby she chuckled to herself. Suddenly he released several burps.
“Good baby,” she whispered as she continued to rub his back. He burped again and nuzzled her shoulder. Carefully rising to her feet she carried the sleeping infant to his nursery. She had a feeling jiggling in the back of her mind that this could be a restless night. After untying his bib and easing his dummy into his mouth she laid the sleeping child in the crib, adjusted his pyjama top and slipped her fingers into the legs of his nappy. He was wet but not overly. After brushing his soft blonde hair over his forehead she leaned over him and planted a soft but loving kiss on his forehead. He wriggled slightly and suc-ked vigorously on his pacifier. Jill covered him with the warm duvet, raised the side of the crib, checked to make sure the baby monitor was on and his night dimmed to its lowest level then stole from the nursery. Before exiting completely she turned and looked over in the direction of the crib and hugged herself. Oh yes it was great having a baby in the nursery once more.
-
Part 6
There he was again drunkenly lurching towards him. Madison cowered away and furtively looked for a way to escape. He knew he was quicker than his drunken father whose clumsy movements made evading him easy. Madison felt the table behind him. He was trapped.
“Come here you little bashtard,” his father slurred as he lunged for his son. In his befuddled mind this boy was the sole reason his life had spiralled out of control. It was he that caused his beloved Maria’s death. The whinny little brat. Why had she gone and left him to look after this good-for-nothing weakling. Madison screamed and ducked as his father tried to grab him.
“fuc-kin’ little shit you won’t get away from me,” he slurred as he tried to lash out at the small defenceless boy. Madison screamed again as the toe of his father’s foot slammed into his knee. God it hurt! What had he done? Madison was perplexed as he evaded his belligerent father. Nothing! He hadn’t done anything. Just been there. That seemed enough these days. He screamed again.
Jill jolted awake with the first scream. Madison! He flew out of bed and bounded into the nursery. Her baby was thrashing about in his crib trying to evade something. Quickly she dropped the side of the crib and grabbed the wriggling mass. Madison struggled and screamed again and again. With effort she managed to clutch him to her body and avoid his flailing arms and legs. She held him tight and waited for his struggles to subside.
“Sh…sh…sh… baby it’s Mummy,” she whispered in an effort to quieten and soothe her struggling baby. “Open your eyes darling and look at Mummy,” she cooed.
Madison could hear that soothing voice he had come to recognise. He rubbed his face into Jill’s shoulder. He lifted his head and could just make out her face in the dim light.
“Mummy…” he croaked.
Jill smiled lovingly at him. “Yes darling. You’re safe sweetheart. Did you have a bad dream?” she cooed.
“Yeeess…” Madison’s voice wavered.
“Oh darling that nasty man won’t get again sweetheart. You’re safe with Mummy. Mummy will protect her baby,” she said quietly her heart ached for him. It was apparent to him that he had been through some torrid times and his mind was still replaying them. Jill paced the nursery slowly in an attempt to pacify him. She knew and could feel he was agitated. “Shh…shh…little one it’s alright,” she whispered. Madison continued to grizzle.
“Make the pictures stop Mummy!” he grizzled. “Make them go!” Madison was referring to the lasting images from his nightmare. Every time he closed his eyes he could still see and smell his father’s aggressive approach. It frightened him to his core. He didn’t want to be plagued by these for ever. He would never cope.
“It’s okay sweetie. Mummy will help make them go away. She will,” she cooed to him. “Let Mummy change your nappy first then she’ll help, okay.”
“Okkayy…” he whimpered.
Jill carried him to the changing table and carefully laid him down. Madison continued to grizzle.
“Make themgooooo…” he grizzled moving his head from side to side.
Jill leaned over him and caressed his forehead brushing his blonde locks aside and kissing him softly.
“Shush little one. It’s going to be okay,” she reassured him. “Mummy promises to make them go.” Madison had lost his pacifier in his bed so Jill reached over behind his head and retrieved another pink dummy and slipped it onto his mouth. Madison took it immediately and starting suc-king it vigorously highlighting his agitated state. Quickly Jill folded back his pyjama top, opened his pilchers spreading them under him. She removed his nappy pins.
“My, what a wet wee baby,” she cooed to him. He continued to grizzle. Deftly she lifted his legs and removed the wet cloth. When she wiped his bottom he grizzled louder and tried to move away. His bottom was still tender. “Sorry darling but Mummy has to clean your botty. Try and be a good baby for Mummy and lie still,” she explained. He stopped moving trying to please her. “Good baby,” she praised softly. “You’re such a good bubba,” she reassured him.
Madison could hear her soft, smooth reassuring voice through his grizzles. In slightly less than twenty-four hours he had come to love the sound of her voice. It was so soothing and calming, yet loving and full of affection. Jill took advantage of his compliance to finish carefully wiping his bottom and applying some healing cream. Madison felt his legs being lifted and the soft touch of the nappy against his bottom. His grizzling subsided slightly as his ‘Mummy’ pulled the soft cloth between his legs and snugly pin it closed. Jill replaced his pilchers and pulled his pyjama top down.
Jill slipped her hands under his arm pits and lifted him into her arms.
“There we go precious a nice dry botty. Now come on Bubby Mummy’s got something that might help her little one,” she said softly as she clutched him to her chest. Madison continued to grizzle as he rubbed his face across her fleecy nightie. Jill slowly walked across the nursery towards a large comfortable armchair nestled in the corner of the room. She settled herself into its soft cushions and manoeuvred him until he was cradled in her arms facing her chest slightly.
Madison could feel himself nestling in her arms and was sure that a warm soothing bottle would be placed in his mouth. It was comfortable and soft. He could feel the warmth radiating from her body and he wanted every bit of it. He waited in anticipation for the warm rubber nipple even though it should have been contrary to proper ten year old behaviour. He could almost taste the warm milk. He didn’t care about what should be expected of him. He was doing what his mind was telling him and what his body wanted. But most importantly he was doing what his new Mummy wanted him to do. After all it was food and he craved it. He ignored the rustling and fiddling taking place in front of him. He continued to s_ck his dummy in anticipation.
Jill decided while she was changing his nappy that a new phase was needed for him. He was highly agitated and the nightmare had upset him. She knew from past experience with her beloved Bethany that a period of quiet nursing often settled her and allowed her to sleep. She was going to try this tactic with Madison. She wasn’t sure how he would react. In fact she expected firm resistance because it was going to signal another direction in his assimilation, another route for him to travel to babyhood. Ultimately her goal was to have him breastfeeding, to be totally dependent on her for everything – his food, his warmth, his clothing, his hygiene and his security – to be her baby. Although she had no milk at the moment she felt that it was a matter of another day or two before she would begin lactating. She had been working with the breast pump and taken some lactation inducing medication she had purchased in case she needed to use them with Bethany. Allthese action were designed to initiate proceedings. Already her breasts were tingling and having Madison nurse from tonight onwards would stimulate them more.
When Jill was satisfied with the way she had Madison situated she undid the buttons of her nightie exposing her large white breast with its prominent nipple and areola. In the dim light the creamy skin gleamed slightly. Jill pinched and massaged the nipple causing it to expand. She looked at Madison nestled in her arm. He was suc-king his pacifier, still whimpering quietly with his eyes closed. Jill shifted her right hand until it was carefully placed behind his head. He didn’t move. She felt no resistance. Very carefully she withdrew his dummy dropping it in her lap. He whimpered. Leaning over him she whispered very softly to him.
“Come on darling Mummy’s got something very special for you.” Madison heard her voice and responded lifting his face towards the soothing tones. Jill moved his head towards her nipple until it touched his lips. “Open up darling. Open up for Mummy,” she cooed pressing the warm soft nipple against his lips. He responded and parted his lips. Instantly Jill inserted the nipple into his mouth. She kept pressing and probing. “Open wider precious,” she coaxed. Again he responded and opened his mouth wider and Jill pushed the nipple further into his mouth until touched his tongue. “s_ck sweetheart s_ck,” she encouraged him. Once again Madison reacted and starting suc-king.
Madison could feel the pressure of Jill’s hand on the back of his head. He ignored it. He trusted her. He felt the soft warm rubbery nipple on his lips. This wasn’t the warm bottle he had been expecting. He was drawn to her soothing voice probing his defences and fingering through his subconscious. He was spellbound by its lilting and smooth tone. He responded immediately as the voice requested. It was cajoling him yet encouraging him as well. He took the soft morsel into his mouth and started to s_ck. It was a different texture as he passed his tongue over it and pressed it to the roof of his mouth. He could feel it expand and rest on his tongue. He continued to suc-kle like he did with his pacifier and he liked suc-king that.
Jill was thrilled. He hadn’t fought against her. She had carefully used her soft reassuring voice to mould him around to what she wanted and he had responded. His s_ck was strong.
“Good bubba,” she crooned softly sighing. He had taken her. “Mummy is so pleased with her baby,” she continued to encourage him. “Such a good, good baby. Keep nursing honey it’ll help.”
Madison followed her instructions. He wanted to please her and he wanted to be a good baby. To him it seemed the right thing to do after all she was helping him and he was putting his trust in her. He felt safe in her arms. He could feel her aura envelope him and form a protective cocoon around him. Not even his father or anyone else would get him. She would be his protector, his saviour. Madison knew he was slipping under her spell and he was powerless to stop it. She was providing something which had been missing from his life ever since his mother had gone; that all important love and nurturing. His father certainly didn’t provide it and now this woman, a person he had known less than twenty-four hours was now providing it in vast quantities, more than he could ever want. Madison loved and wanted to soak up as much as he could.
Jill was feeling pleased with the way everything was progressing. He was nursing, quite contentedly suc-kling from her breast. Proper breastfeeding was only a matter of time and he would do it, she knew and sensed it. She smiled to herself as he snuggled closer and took more of her breast into his mouth. Carefully she removed her hand from behind his head and lovingly caressed his temple and cheek. Madison shuddered at the silky touch. It was intoxicating. He wriggled his bottom allowing the soft nappy to rub over his skin. He really felt like a baby now.
Jill noted his grizzling had stopped. She could feel his small body relax. She let him suc-kle for a while then very carefully broke the seal around his lips, removed the nipple and picked him up until he was lying with his head on her shoulder. She patted his padded bottom and rubbed his back. He murmured slowly and snuggled his face into her neck. She could feel his warm breath on her skin. His breathing was steady and shallow. He was dozing. He wriggled in her arms and murmured again.
“Ssshhh….little one. You can have some more in a moment. Such a good baby, aren’t you precious? Mummy’s dear, dear baby boy,” she cooed ever encouraging, ever brainwashing him. He rubbed face across her fleecy nightie and felt his bladder empty involuntarily and his nappy slowly grew warm and wet.
Jill shifted him until he was cradled in her other arm, opened her nightie exposing her other breast at the same time turned his head. He opened his mouth as the nipple reached him and he immediately started suc-kling again. Jill sighed he had searched for it himself. Perfect, she thought, you’re a real baby now.
-
Part 7.
Madison’s eyes flicked open. He was lying on his tummy in his crib his pacifier playing over his tongue. He was enjoying the pleasant sensations the rubber nipple offered. He couldn’t remember when his Mummy put him back to bed. Anyway what did it matter! His nursery was lighter. Some daylight was fingering into the room around the edges of the drapes. He shifted and felt the bulky nappy rub between his legs. He knew he was wet. He could feel the warm wet mass between his legs.
Waking up wet was nothing unusual for Madison. This had been happening over the previous eighteen months to two years. The deteriorating atmosphere at home combined with his highly stressed state was more than enough for his sensitive bladder and precarious control. Before his mother’s untimely death if he wet his bed she was always loving and understanding about it. She was quick to reassure her little boy that accidents do happen, they were not his fault and she knew he couldn’t help it. She had left the plastic mattress protector on his bed, washed his bed linen and pyjamas. She encouraged him to wear thick training pants under his pyjamas which helped absorb any accident but still required his bedding to be changed. He was not a frequent bed-wetter maybe once or twice a fortnight. His father ignored the situation content to leave his wife to deal with it but he was not impressed with his son’s infantile behaviour.
After his mother died everything changed. His father’s intolerance showed. Poor Madison suffered some ignominious and brutal punishment that went with a wet bed once his father was in charge. There were frequent sessions where his wet bottom smacked and his face rubbed into the wet linen. Over time Madison developed coping mechanisms to avoid the violent reaction of his father. He would wake before his father, remove his sheets and clothes bundle them up and hide them washing them once his father left for work and drying them in his room. This worked well overall but occasionally he would be caught and severely punished. Once his father became obsessed with the booze Madison had to walk a thin line. The alcohol only made his father more volatile and provoking him often proved fraught and very dangerous. Madison worked out after several violent incidents to wait until his father passed out on the couch in a drunken stupor then use the opportunity to wash his bedding and clothing and let it dry overnight. The down side to this was it made his room damp and caused it to smell musty and mouldy.
He tried to keep himself as clean as possible but it wasn’t always possible. He knew on many occasions he would arrive at school smelling of stale urine. He was bullied incessantly and called a ‘piss-pot’ or ‘pissy baby’ by his uncaring and vindictive peers so this did nothing alleviate his stress. Summer was perfect because he could swim as often as he liked, and did. This enabled him to wash and maintain a level of hygiene but the faint smell of urine continued to linger within his clothes. Winters really proved problematic, but he tried. He fought a constant battle against a rash which dogged him during the winter. The summer sun did help with the healing especially when he swam in the river naked as many of his peers did.
He felt warm and cosy. His eyes played around the nursery – his nursery now. He could see the changing table under the window not far from his crib. A soft arm chair was resplendent in the corner of the room in front of a tall set of cupboards with huge doubles. He noted a small table beside the chair and a play pen in close proximity. Another set of cupboards adorned the wall on the other side of the door way with a chest of drawers placed strategically between it and the changing table.
His eyes focused on the bars of his crib. He fidgeted and realised he was peeing again into his already wet nappy. What control he had over his bladder had now completely evaporated. This was not surprising as he knew his control was tenuous at the best of times. He reached out and figured the bars, in doing so his hand brushed over the soft fur a pale yellow soft toy placed near him. He hadn’t seen it when he awoke earlier. Madison allowed his fingers to play across the soft fur. Its touch was velvety. Where had it come from he mused? His ‘mother’ must have placed it in his bed during the night. He smiled at her thoughtfulness. He hadn’t had a cuddly toy of his own ever since his mother passed away. Any of the toys he owned had ‘vanished’ during one of his father’s many clean ups. It nearly broke his heart when his cherished Fuzzy Bear disappeared but he was too frightened to ask his father about its fate. Madison pulled the bear towards him and cuddled it.
Madison rolled over onto his back and stared at the mobile dangling above him. He cast his eyes around the sides of the crib which towered above him. He kicked the covers off and pushed his foot through the bars as he cuddled his new toy to his chest. He was enjoying his baby bliss. He really didn’t have anything to worry about because he knew his ‘mother’ would take care of him. He suc-ked blissfully on his pacifier working his fingers into the soft fur of his new cuddly toy. Occasionally he would glance in the direction of the door hoping his Mummy would appear. He missed her.
Jill was dozing. She had been awake for a while and had quickly shut down the alarm clock before its piercing ring disturbed her baby. She often woke before its call. She rubbed her hands over her breasts. They were very sensitive this morning and appeared to be more fulsome. Not long she thought and her milk would be in. She couldn’t wait to have her baby lying beside her filling his tummy with her wonderful nectar and listening to his contented gurgles. She imagined she could still feel little Maddie suc-king on her nipples after last night’s proceedings. It was great she thought. She reflected on the time when Bethany was in her nursery. Jill loved breastfeeding her daughter and looked forward to each time as a chance to cement her bonds with her beautiful daughter. She was longing for the same pleasure from Madison.
She lay under the warm covers both ears tuned into the baby monitor. Was he awake? She listened intently for any signs. She could hear his rhythmic suc-king as he worked on his pacifier. She could make out his fingers playing over the bars of his crib. She heard the rustling as he moved around on his mattress. He was probably awake.
‘Call out for Mummy,’ she willed him. ‘Go on sweetie call out for Mummy I want to hear that lovely word.’ It was a word she loved hearing and never tired of. She considered herself a very good mother. She loved being a mother. As far as she was concerned the maternal pangs had always been there right from when she was a girl and were still stronger than ever. Motherhood sat squarely with her as it fitted in beautifully with her nurturing and loving nature. “Come on little one call Mummy,” she whispered to herself.
Madison wriggled around on his back rubbing his bootie covered foot over the bars the warm sodden mass of his nappy hugged his groin. He kept looking towards the door of his nursery for her to appear. Perhaps he should call her to see what sort of reaction he’d get.
“Mummy…” he called around his pacifier. “Mmmmmuuummmmmyyyyy!”
He hoped she wouldn’t be angry but he wanted to see her and feel her embrace.
Jill heard his quiet cry. It was music to her ears.
“Go on darling,” she whispered. “Just once more.”
Madison strained his ears to her if she had responded. Nothing.
“Mmmmuuummmmmyyyy,” he called slightly louder this time.
Jill smiled to herself as she left her bed, donned her dressing gown and slippers and headed to the nursery. Her baby was calling. She quietly stole across the hall and crept into the nursery. She could see his foot on the bars of the crib. She saw him hold the teddy up and gaze at it. When she reached the side of the crib she leaned over. Madison saw her loom over the crib and he smiled broadly. She had come to get him and she wasn’t angry.
“Hello Bubby,” she cooed as she cast her eyes over him and what a beautiful picture of baby innocence he portrayed. He tousled blonde hair was spread over the mattress. His dummy was bobbling contentedly in his mouth. His yellow pyjama top had ridden up revealing his soft pink tummy and clearly exposing his heavily nappied condition. She could see glimpses of white nappy outside the leg openings of his pilchers as his leg moved and his feet were still encased in the yellow booties. “How’s my baby boy this morning eh?” she cooed. His smile widened and he kicked his legs. He tossed aside his teddy and raised his arms to her. He was inviting her to take him and cuddle him for ever. Jill released the side of the crib and reach in to gather him. Placing her hands under his armpits she lifted him into her arms enveloping him a warm affectionate cuddle. Madison immediately snuggled into her warm body.
“Mummy, Mummy, Mummy,” he squealed delightedly. He was genuinely thrilled to see and be with his saviour. Jill hugged him closely patting his padded bottom and kissing him repeatedly on the side of his face.
“Such a happy baby this morning, aren’t you? And so pleased to see Mummy,” she cooed. She could feel him nod as she slipped a couple of fingers onto his nappy. She knew he would be wet but she liked to check. That action further confirmed his baby status. “Ohhh what a wet baby darling, a very, very wet baby,” she stated. He giggled he knew he was. “Come on darling let Mummy change her baby’s wet nappy,” she said as she laid him on the changing table.
Jill was unruffled in her movements and soothing with her touches as she stroked the wisps of blonde hair from his brow smiling adoringly at him as she did. Madison was captivated by everything about her. She was like his mother so kind warm and affectionate. It was obvious to him that she loved him dearly although he couldn’t see why she should. She didn’t really know him. She only knew what he had told her and yet all that had been swept aside. Jill could see a sparkle in his eyes and a clarity and innocence in his face. To her he was all that she wanted, even though he was nearly ten, that didn’t really matter to her. As she surveyed him he looked no bigger than a small five year old physically, and now the way he was dressed he was every inch an adoring toddler. She remembered when taking Bethany to play groups some mothers of little toddler boys remarking on the fact that well behaved little boys were the sweetest, loving and most angelic creatures on the planet. Of course Jill would scoff to herself because her daughter was the sweetest thing on the planet and she could be. Now she was seeing it before her eyes. This little boy; and he was little, was one of those sweet angelic little baby boys. Even though he had only been in house for just over a day he was simply adorable and she loved every inch of him.
Jill lifted his pyjama top and caressed his tummy. Madison squirmed and wriggled under her touch his eyes fixed on her soaking up her image. Then quite out of the blue he thrust his arms up to her.
“Wuv you Mummy,” he chortled. Jill’s heart leapt. She was taken by his sudden and sincere admission. She responded immediately by lifting him into her arms again and cuddling him warmly.
“Mummy loves you darling,” she whispered softly. “Mummy loves her baby boy with all her heart,” she continued and she meant every syllable.
Madison was so happy. It was the first time in a long, long time that anyone he said that to him. He lifted his head off her shoulder, looked her square in the eye then pressed his dummy into her cheek. Jill was overcome.
“Oh darling, are giving Mummy a special bubby kiss?” she asked quietly. He nodded and did it again. She responded and laid him back on the changing table. “Come on my sweet, sweet baby Mummy needs to change your nappy now, okay,” she asked. He and nodded smiled at her.
Using careful and unhurried movements she set about changing him. His nappy was saturated. He certainly needed thicker night nappies, she mused, or maybe I could change him more frequently the night, she pondered. She would think about that. Certainly once she introduced night feedings then a nappy change would be part of the process.
After the wet cloth was removed she set about cleaning his bottom. He winced slightly but her reassuring smile soothed him. Finally he was creamed, powdered and repined into a warm dry nappy. She decided to replace his pilchers and did so with a pair of clear vinyl which showed every fold of his white nappy and the yellow headed nappy pins. His stomach growled. She widened her eyes.
“I think my baby needs something in his tummy,” she said lovingly as she caressed his stomach. “How about a nice warm bottle eh?” He nodded and smiled. He loved his bottle especially the warm ‘milk’ she used. Picking him up, she carried him out to the lounge. While he was perched on her hip she opened the drapes to reveal the day outside.
Madison could see the trees moving and the white clouds floating across the sky. Shafts of sunlight lit up the garden. It actually looked pleasant outside. Jill noted the brisk wind blowing the dead leaves around the garden.
“Great a nice day,” she said to herself. “A good drying day,” she continued as she reflected on the basket full of nappies and baby clothes waiting for her in the laundry. Still with Madison on her hip she crossed to the log burner. She put Madison on his feet while she attended to the fire. Madison clung to her nightie as she stirred it into life. He could feel some warmth radiating onto his legs. Jill pressed him closer so she could fix the fire up and not put him in danger. When she was satisfied and the glowing embers had stirred to life she picked him up and headed for the kitchen. Madison didn’t mind being carried like a baby. As far as she was concerned he was a baby so he might as well enjoy the attention, besides he liked being with her.
Jill retrieved a full bottle from the fridge, shook it and placed it in the microwave to heat. While the bottle heated she crossed the kitchen and Madison watched her as she pulled open the kitchen drapes. Madison looked out the window and could see a large shed in one corner of the section and next to it garage both buildings skirted by trees. Like the garden he saw out of the lounge window it was well cared for and dotted with shrubs and tall trees. He watched the branches waving around in the breeze. He was mesmerised by the waving canopies and the myriad of scuttling leaves skirting around the section. The microwave ‘dinged’ and Jill crossed the kitchen to retrieve the bottle. Madison clung to her as she shook the bottle and offered it to him. Madison looked at her and took the bottle. He was appeasing his craving for food so couldn’t resist the offer. Jill took his pacifier out and he put the teat in his mouth and started suc-king – boy it was good.
Jill was pleased he had taken it from her and wanted to drink immediately. He clearly wanted the bottle. She carried him into the lounge and seated herself on the large comfortable couch swinging Madison onto her lap. Madison kept the bottle in his mouth. He wanted and liked it. The warm fluid was drifting into his tummy appeasing the gurgles within.
Jill made him comfortable on her lap and allowed him the lie back until he was cradled in her arms. She smiled at him as she took control of the bottle. Madison continued to guzzle on the contents. He nestled in closer and wriggled his bottom inside his nappy. Another troubling gurgle was making itself known. His bowel was full demanding attention and emptying. Madison tried to ignore it and tighten his sphincter muscles to prevent any mishap. He responded to Jill’s smiles with smiles of his own. This only caused milk to seep out of the corner of his mouth and down him chin. Several times Jill carefully mopped up the seepage with his bib. Madison wriggled his bottom again. A small amount of wind escaped into his nappy. The pressure in his bowel was building. Now he was in a quandary. What was he going to do? He could remove the bottle and ask his new Mummy to take him to the toilet or even put him on a potty. Perhaps she might take pity on him and accede to his request. He would be depending on her not wanting to clean up a poopy bottom. But what about his bottle, he wanted it and certainly did not want to give up his milk. Then, again he could starting crying and plead for assistance. His upset condition might encourage her to take pity on him and help him. Again he would have to give up his bottle and the milk would get cold while she attended to him. The idea of drinking lukewarm milk didn’t appeal to him. Of course he could let nature take its course, continue to savour the milk, act as though nothing was happening and quietly fill his nappy. He continued to let the soothing milk trickle down his throat and seep into his tummy suppressing the gurgles and the hunger pangs.
Jill slipped his bottle into her other hand so she could use the TV remote to flick the device into life. She wanted to track the news to see if there was any mention of Madison’s ‘disappearance’. Her attention was drawn into the newscast and was not focused in Madison’s situation.
Madison had decided. His need for nourishment and craving for food outweighed his desperate need to make himself comfortable. He relaxed and focussed on savouring each drop of milk. His bowel cramped and the pressure was building. As he relaxed so did his bowel. He could feel the poop push its way into his nappy. It stopped momentarily so he pushed slightly watching her face for any reaction. The poop resumed its slow and gradual evacuation. He shifted and Jill looked at him to check that he was okay. She resumed holding the bottle in her original hand. She studied his face. His face twitched. She felt his bottom shift and knew instantly what was happening – he was pooping his nappy. She knew the signs all too well. Bethany had done it often enough except she tended to telegraph her activity by interrupting her nursing and reddening her face as she pushed to offending discharge into her nappy. Madison was trying to be more discrete, not wanting to draw attention to his action.
He stared at her and gazed intently into her face. He was acutely aware of what was happening in his nappy. He could feel the soft poop fill a void between his bottom and his nappy then push its way up behind his little nut-sack, and ooze between the cleft in his bottom.
“Are you okay sweetheart?” she asked quietly. Madison nodded not wanting to interrupt the flow of milk. “Have got some windies in your tummy?” she asked. He shook his head in denial. Jill then detected a dull aroma wafting from his pants. She knew immediately what he had done but kept quiet. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him, embarrass him or even humiliate him. She knew all too well that he was giving into his body’s natural urge and at the same time undo years of conditioning – ‘thou shalt not mess ones pants’. Equally he was blatantly undoing years of training and control. She was secretly pleased he was giving into this babyish behaviour.
Madison raised his outside hand reached up and touched her lips. As he stretched he grunted at the same time causing his nappy to fill completely and his bladder started to empty in sympathy. Jill smiled and kissed his fingers then made a snatch them with her lips trying to catch them. Madison pulled them away and giggled around the teat of the bottle. At the same time he could feel the poop spread over his bottom. It was feeling he thought he would find repugnant and was surprised at how pleasant it felt. He felt really babyish now. He hoped that she wouldn’t be angry with him, punish him then leave him in the full garment. He wriggled his bottom slightly and felt the soft mush move and smear over his skin. He knew he was undoing his control but the taste of the milk and its soothing feel in his tummy was more important as far as he was concerned. After all, he reasoned, he had committed himself to being her baby yesterday so he might as well do as baby’s do – poo his nappy.
After all to quote her comment the day before when he had the sudden accident – ‘it’s only a nappy it’ll wash.’ He sighed as the last of the soft ooze slipped out of his bottom. His bowel was empty now it was time to really focus on emptying his bottle. He suc-kled in earnest.
Jill returned to the television mindful that her baby had just filled his pants. She smiled inwardly – his first real poopy nappy, she mused, but it won’t be his last. There was nothing on the newsreel about him which was pleasing. There would be no police out searching and disturbing their bliss at this early stage. She was drawn from the screen when Madison started to s_ck air. He had finished his bottle.
“Good boy,” she cooed as she extracted the teat from his milky mouth and set it on the couch beside her. “What a good baby,” she crooned wiped the excess milk from his lips and chin. Madison lay in her arms looking at her face. His tummy was nearly full but he had a bloated feeling. He shifted slightly causing the contents of his nappy to move. Jill brushed a wisp of hair from his brow then slipped her hands under his armpits and carefully raised him until he was lying upright again her chest his head resting on her shoulder. She placed one hand under his padded bottom squashing the contents over his bottom while the other starting patting and rubbing his back. Madison knew what she was doing – she was ‘burping’ him. He started to feel uncomfortable and squirmed under her hold. “Come on darling let’s get those windies out of that little tummy,” she said quietly. He squirmed then suddenly released a series of loud belches. He blushed at his infantile behaviour. “Aww good boy that’s better little one. And some more sweetie. There must be more in there,” she continued as she patted and rubbed his back and at the same time patting his padded bottom. He lifted his head to look at her in doing so he release another couple of knots of wind at the same time some sour milk spurted into his mouth and out of his mouth before he could stop it. He felt it dribble down his chin. “Whoops Maddie just a wee spill little one,” she said as she used his bib to wipe up the mess.
Jill could smell the aroma wafting from his pants.
“Has my baby got poopy nappies?” she cooed. He stared at her not wanting to admit it. “I think he has,” she smiled at him. “Yes I do,” she chuckled tickling his ribs causing him to squirm and giggle under her assault. “Mummy have a look eh,’ she suggested and she laid him across her lap. Jill lifted his pyjama top and opened his pilcher. “Hold still sweetheart so Mummy can check her little boy’s nappy,” she said affectionately. Madison lay motionless as she fiddled with his pilcher. Jill lifted his leg aside and peered into his nappy. She could see his bottom and nappy were smeared with a yellowy brown ooze. The smell was strong but not offensive. She knew it wouldn’t be because his diet, over the previous day, had consisted mainly of baby formula so the smell would not be as overpowering. “My you have been a busy baby, haven’t you?” she chuckled looking at him with wide eyes wonder. “Yes you have. Yes you have,” she grinned tickling his leg causing him to wriggle, squirm and giggle under her advance. For Jill this was a deliberate ploy so he would feel the state of his nappy and get use to the sensations. Eventually he would be encouraged to the point where filling his nappy would be natural and being in them for a period of time would be second nature because she wouldn’t always be able to change him immediately under some circ-umstances. She was pleased with his reaction. “Come on bubby you lie on the couch while Mummy finds some clean pants for her baby,” she grinned as she carefully laid him on the couch, picked up the empty bottle and disappeared out of the room.
Madison lay on the couch suc-king his dummy and watched the television. He wasn’t really focused on it. He was more focused on the sensation of his first proper poopy nappy. A nappy he had deliberately filled. He felt calm, his Mummy was not angry in fact she was pleased with him and had expected it after all he really wanted to please her.
Jill returned to the lounge armed with the items she needed. As she approached the couch she marvelled at the sight of her little boy lying innocently on the couch moving his legs at ease with his messy condition. As far as she was concerned a major hurdle had been crossed on his path to babyhood and he had taken it in his stride. The next hurdle would be proper breastfeeding once her milk came in. He had accepted her breast but that was only dry suc-king almost the same as suc-king on a pacifier. The real thing would really test his resolve and whether he was actually going to completely enter long term babyhood.
-
Jill settled herself on the end of the couch and affectionately caressed his bulky crotch.
“Come on little one,” she cooed. “Let Mummy see what sort of parcel you’ve got in these pants,” she continued as she lifted his top and undid his pilchers. She watched his face. He was calm and contentedly suc-king his pacifier. Clearly having a dirty nappy did not concern him and this pleased Jill. She opened the plastic pants and slipped the pins from the nappy. “Gosh what a smelly baby,” she cooed as she pulled the cloth down his crotch wiping the mess down into his nappy. At the same time the smelly aroma escaped in the room but Jill ignored it. It was no worse than when she used to change Bethany. At the same time, she lifted his bottom clear of the nappy depositing most of the mess into the damp and dirty cloth below. Quickly she rolled the messy nappy inside the pilchers and deposited it on the floor. While she held his ankles to raise his bottom she wiped him clean with a few wipes before slipping a clean nappy underneath.
Madison sighed as he soaked up Jill’s ministrations. Occasionally he would look down past his chest and watch her. He was enjoying it. He now liked nappy changes. She was gentle and her touch was tender. She lovingly smeared his bottom with cream. Madison didn’t flinch. The action of her fingers over his sensitive skin only served to calm him. This pleased Jill also because it meant the rash was well on the way to healing. He sneezed when she dabbed the tip of his nose with baby powder then sprinkled his bottom with a generous coating as well. The smell of baby powder filled the immediate vicinity eliminating the odour of the dirty nappy. Jill giggled at his reaction. He smiled in response. As she pulled the nappy firmly up between his legs he spread them further.
Jill smiled at his action. “Good bubba,” she cooed as she wrapped the nappy around him and pinned it snugly closed. She searched for his yellow pilchers she thought she had brought with her. She shrugged at her thoughtlessness and pulled his pyjama down. Oh well she thought an unprotected nappy will suffice in the meantime although she would have to be vigilant and make regular checksto see when he was wet because she did not want little wet patches on her carpet or furniture. Secretly she liked seeing her babies in unprotected nappies occasionally. It added to their baby innocence. Leaning over him she smiled adoringly at him as she lifted him into her arms again placing her hand under his soft padded bottom. Madison wrapped his arms around her neck and snuggled in. He loved being wrapped in her arms.
“Does my baby want some toast and jam?” she asked as she carried him towards the kitchen.
“Uh huh,” he chortled around his dummy. ‘More food’ he thought. He couldn’t get enough at the moment.
“All right darling Mummy will make you some toast and put some yummy jam on when she makes her breakfast,” she replied as she slipped him into the highchair and closed the tray.
Madison sat in the highchair swinging his legs and pawing at the tray while he watched her cook the toast and smear it in a red coloured jam. The smell of cooking toast made him drool. The saliva trickled down behind the shield of his dummy and onto his bib. His eyes lit up when she placed a plastic platter in front of him and he made a dive for the cut morsels. Jill slipped his dummy out of his mouth and wiped his wet chin with his bib. Madison grabbed the nearest piece and jammed it in his mouth. The taste was exotic especially the sweet tang of the raspberry jam. He drooled and a mixture of toast crumbs, jam and saliva trickled down his chin and onto his bib.
Jill watched amused as he attacked the toast. Very soon he was a jammy mess with the red conserve smeared over his mouth, chin, fingers and bib. She disappeared briefly when she noted he had been distracted by the food. When she reappeared a few minutes later with the newspaper in her hand the sight of her messy baby made her giggle.
“Oh look at you,” she chided him softly. “Such a messy baby,” she continued. He looked at her and gave her jammy smile. She shook her head and resumed her place at the table and ate her breakfast while scanning the newspaper. Occasionally she would cast a glance at Madison to check his progress. He was a mess. Jill was unperturbed after all he was a baby and babies made messes. She was more interested in the contents of the newspaper.
Jill carefully scanned each page for any news or inquiries, no matter how small, of Madison’s whereabouts. She found nothing. Obviously his disappearance hadn’t raised any suspicions or his father appeared unconcerned. She resumed her breakfast confident that their bliss would not be disturbed.
Madison finished his toast. He looked at his hands and bib they were a sticky mess but he didn’t care. He had always been a slightly messy eater. His mother was unconcerned by his behaviour and would readily clean him up or send him to the bathroom to do so. But his father was different. Madison could tell when he looked at him that he was not impressed by his son’s lack of cleanliness in the simple act of eating. Of course after his mother died his father was less forgiving occasionally smacking his face or removing his food if the behaviour persisted. Madison tried very hard to clean his act up but occasionally he still incurred his father’s wrath. It came to a point where Madison, in an effort to avoid his father’s attention would eat slowly and deliberately but even this sometimes brought about unwanted attention. Poor Madison lived in a state of constant fear and confusion. At school it was okay because other children were untidy and a simple wash in the toilets rectified the situation. At home he was afforded no such luxury so meal times became a battle ground, a torture chamber, a gastronomic minefield which Madison tried valiantly to wend his way through sometimes failing. So when Jill appeared unperturbed by his immature eating habits it enabled him to relax and enjoy each morsel without fear of retribution. Being able to simply be a messy baby played right into his hands.
Jill turned the last page of the paper. As she did so she looked across at Madison. He had finished his toast and was a jammy mess. She sighed. She rose from the table and retrieved a white sippy cup half filled it with juice and placed it on his tray. Madison looked at her and reached for it.
“Two hands darling,” she insisted. Madison complied and began guzzling the cool contents. Some of the juice split out the side of his mouth, down his chin and onto his bib. Jill left the kitchen momentarily and returned carrying a clean bib and a flannel. She wet the flannel. Madison finished the refreshing juice and dropped the cup.
Jill smiled at the messy boy.
“What a messy baby,” she chided again softly. “Hold still sweetie so Mummy clean you up.” Jill held his head and washed his face. Madison was initially startled and allowed his ‘mother’ to wash his face. Jill removed the flannel revealing a damp but clean face. “Ah there you are bubby,” she joked. “I couldn’t see my baby before because of all that jam and toast.” She removed his dirty bib and replaced it. She set about cleaning his hands and gave the tray a quick wipe. “Come on darling,” she said as she removed the tray and lifted him out of the highchair. Madison reached up to her so she lifted him into her arms. “That’s better a nice clean baby,” she cooed kissing him on the forehead although she could still smell the remnants of jam and bread. He wrapped his arms around her and placed his head on her shoulder.
“Tuddle Mummy,” he chortled around his dummy. “Me want tuddles Mummy,” he repeated.
“Okay darling,” she said softly and returned to the lounge and sat on the couch. “Just for a short time sweetie because Mummy’s got lots to do,” she continued as she slipped him onto her lap. He cuddled in. Then an idea struck her. I wonder she mused….
Opening her dressing gown she undid the buttons on her nightie and opened her top revealing her large creamy breast. Madison watched as he laid his head against her shoulder. He was spell bound. Was she….
“Come on darling,” she whispered to him as she eased him down until he was cradled in her arm. Madison’s face was close to her breast. He could feel the warmth radiating from her body. Jill smiled adoringly at him. Madison looked at her then at the breast. His heart was pounding. She wanted him to suc-kle on her breast that was clear to him. Could he do it? Nine year old boys didn’t do this. But was he really a nine year old boy, in fact nearly ten, now. Not really. Given the way he was dressed and the way he was treated he was more like an eighteen month old toddler. He was a baby now. He had agreed to that. Babies nurse from their Mummy’s and this woman was now his Mummy. He could see the expectation in her eyes. But she wasn’t going to force him. Jill watched him closely almost reading the turmoil flitting across his eyes. He sighed and turned towards her breast opened his mouth, took her nipple in and starting suc-king. Jill was thrilled. He had made the decision himself. It was clear to her that when her milk did arrive he would breastfeed quite happily.
Gently taking his head she turned him slightly so he was facing her breast. His soft pink lips were cupped around her breast and he was suc-king quite strongly and rhythmically. Slipping her other hand between his legs she pulled him closer and starting rubbing his soft nappied bottom.
“Good baby,” she whispered. “What a good baby,” she reassured him. “Keep suc-king darling. That’s it,” she encouraged. “Is that good sweetheart?” she asked. Madison looked up at her and nodded slightly. He could feel the nipple caress his tongue and the roof of his mouth. It was like suc-king his dummy although the teat was softer. Jill started to hum softly to him. Her baby was exactly where he should be – breastfeeding from his Mummy.
Madison relaxed and worked into a rhythm. Suddenly his bladder gave way and Jill felt his nappy slowly grow wet. She smiled to herself. He was a real baby now. Madison took no notice of his bladder he was focussed on enjoying the nipple in his mouth.
Jill let him nurse for a few more minutes before slowing extracting the nipple and sitting him up she shifted him around until he was facing the other breast. Madison did not need an invitation. As soon as Jill exposed it he moved in and latched onto her nipple and started suc-kling.
Jill continued to hum very softly to him. Madison could hear the soft tune and allowed it to wash over him. He really loved being in her presence.
“My baby can nurse from Mummy whenever he wants,” she offered. “Understand bubby,” she probed. Madison looked at her and nodded. “Anytime darling okay,” she reiterated. He nodded in acknowledgement. “Just say ‘tuddles Mummy’ and Mummy will help, okay,” she suggested. He nodded again.
About ten minutes later Jill carefully removed her nipple and wiped his mouth and her breast. She cuddled him closely before standing up and carrying him into the nursery. He was laid on the changing table, a pink dummy slipped into his mouth then his wet nappy changed. This time Jill made sure to dome some pink pilchers in place.
She leaned over him and kissed him on the cheek.
“Okay bubby Mummy’s going to put you on the floor in the lounge in front of the television. She has got a nice box of toys as well for you to play with so you can play there while Mummy gets her chores done, okay,” she said.
“Otay Mummy,” he chortled. She lifted him and carried him into the lounge and deposited him on the floor, then changed the channel on the TV to an appropriate little children’s programme. She disappeared and returned carrying a large plastic box. Jill dumped the contents on the floor in front of him.
Madison watched as an assortment of toys tumbled and scattered over the carpeted floor. He stared at the array of objects before him. What would he choose? There was plenty to choose from the multitude of dolls, soft toys, blocks, rings, rattles, plastic cars and trucks - a real treasure trove, toys suitable for a toddler not a nine year old. Madison looked at the TV and was initially captivated by the animated cartoon. Finally he tired of the programme and turned his attention to the toys.
Meanwhile Jill slipped down to her room to dress for the day while he was distracted. At the same time she tidied the nursery and prepared some clothing for her baby. When she was satisfied she headed to the kitchen pausing in the lounge to check on her baby. He was happily playing with the coloured blocks. She smiled to herself. She slipped into the kitchen to clean his high chair, did the dishes and the other tasks which needed her attention. Occasionally she would glance into the lounge to check her baby. He was crawling around the floor gathering the toys he wanted. She loved the way his padded bottom wriggled as he crawled. She noted the bib dangling from his neck and the dummy bobbling in his mouth. What she liked most was the glimpse of white nappy peeping out the leg of his pilchers. To her he was engrossed in his baby play. She touched her breasts lightly and caressed them. She could still feel the action of his suc-king and also they were very sensitive and starting to appear and feel more fulsome. While she watched her baby she realised she should take the opportunity to hang his washing on the line while the stiff breeze was about.
Madison was engrossed in his play. He didn’t think that baby toys would hold his interest but he was focussed on arranging the blocks in patterns so he could perhaps run some cars over them. He suc-ked contentedly on his pacifier. The rubber nipple caressed his mouth. He could still feel the warm soft nipple from his mother’s breast. That was a feeling all of its own - a feeling that he could get quite used too. He reflected on those minutes spent suc-kling on her breast. At first he thought he would be repulsed by it but once he started he enjoyed it. To him it felt the most natural thing to do. Maybe something else was missing from his world – perhaps the tender attention of an adoring mother as her baby nursed. He loved the feel of her warm but firm grasp, the warmth of her soft body and the beating of her heart. It was all so reassuring, so protective. He felt untouchable when he was in her arms, a feeling he had never experienced before and he loved it.
Madison ignored the sensation of his bladder emptying into his nappy. A warm feeling between his legs was the first indication he got of his action. I wonder what Mummy’s doing he mused as he sat on his padded bottom clutching a block and watching new images play on the television. He dropped the block and crawled towards the kitchen. He rocked back on his bottom and looked around. She wasn’t there. He waited a few moments determining what he was going to do. She must be in my nursery he thought so he crawled through the lounge pausing in the doorway of the hall. Again he rocked onto his bottom and listened for any sign of her. He missed her.
“Mmmmuuuummmmyyyyy…..he called tentatively. There was silence.
He crawled down the hallway to the entrance of his nursery. He expected to see her bustling about his cot. The room was empty. He felt panic rise and a little panicked cry emerged from his throat. Where was she? He saw another door next to his. She must be in there he figured. He crawled to that door and pushed it open. It was a room he hadn’t seen before. As the door opened he expected to see his mother appear. The room was quiet, empty. He saw a large pushchair in one corner, a bassinet against the wall and mixture of miscellaneous cases, blankets, boxes and a child’s tricycle. Now he was becoming anxious. He suc-ked more vigorously on his dummy. His chest began to heave and tears started to sting his eyes. He wiped them away when he realised that she could be in her room. He quickly crawled across the hallway and entered her room half expecting to see her at the duchess or fussing around her bed. The room was quiet and still.
“Mmmmmuuuuummmmyyyyy…” he wailed louder. She was nowhere to be found. A note of panic rose to a crescendo. He became very agitated and tears welled up again. He hurriedly crawled down the hallway towards the lounge but stopped because the profusion of tears impeded his vision. He sat on his damp bottom when a realisation hit him. Maybe she had gone and left him. Maybe at this moment she would be talking to the police or his father about the need to come and get him. No she wouldn’t do that but she certainly wasn’t in the house.
“MMuummmyyygoonnne,” he murmured causing more tears of unhappiness and despair to run down his face. She had left him. Suddenly he opened his mouth his dummy slipped out landing on the floor at his feet and began to wail piteously. He was so traumatised by the possibility that he became rooted to the spot. He could have checked outside properly but that notion had not entered his head. He was locked the present quite beyond all rational thought.
Jill gathered the basket of freshly laundered clothes and slipped out the back door while Madison was playing quietly. She smiled to herself as she crossed the expanse of green to her clothes line. Yes, today was a perfect drying day, a brisk breeze and warm sun to dry her washing. She commenced the laborious task of hanging the items. She sighed as gradually the line filled and fluttered with white nappies. Madison’s nappies she mused, my baby’s nappies. She watched them twisting and fluttering in the breeze. She remembered with fondness the many days when she did the same with Bethany’s nappies. It was so great having a baby back in the house and her life. She now felt whole. As she bent to pick up the first of several pilchers she stopped. She thought she could hear a cry. Jill listened intently. Nothing. She shrugged her shoulders and picked up the first pair. As she bent to pick up the second pair she thought she heard it again. Again listened intently then she heard the plaintive wail of a baby in distress. My baby she thought. Jill dropped the pilchers and pegs and dashed towards the house. As she drew nearer the noise became louder and more frantic.
“My God what can be wrong?” she asked herself as she mounted the back steps. She could hear him wailing in the distance and the indistinct burble of “Mummy gone…Mummy gone,” interspersed between the crying.
As she entered the kitchen Jill knew he was in the hallway because the noise was coming from that direction. As she hit the doorway she saw Madison. He was sitting limp in the middle of the hallway facing the front entrance wailing, tears flowing, his body showing absolute despair.
“Maddie darling Mummy’s here,” she called and he half turned towards her voice.
Through his crying Madison heard that familiar voice. It was her – Mummy but it couldn’t be she was gone in his mind. He couldn’t see through his teary haze.
“Maddie darling,” she cooed. “What’s wrong with Mummy’s baby?” she crooned stooping towards him. Madison was facing her. He could hear the voice he had come to cherish and align with warmth and protection. Indistinctively he raised his arms towards her. “Mummy’s here sweetheart. She hasn’t gone.” She saw his red face, tear splattered cheeks, snotty nose and wet saliva drench lips and chin. His chest was heaving and his body wracked with disconsolate sobs. Madison felt the familiar hands slip under his armpits and he was engulfed in that now familiar embrace. His Mummy had him. “Come on baby,” she said softly. “You poor, poor baby. Mummy’s got you now precious,” she continued in that soft loving tone which he knew and loved.
Jill wrapped her arms around him, lifted him into her arms, placed one hand under his padded bottom and the other behind his head as she pressed his face into her shoulder. Immediately she could feel the mixture of snot, saliva and tears soak her blouse but that was the least of her worries. He was a miserable wreck. Clearly he had thought she had abandoned him. Now it was crucial for her to run some immediate damage control.
-
Thank you everybody for being so patient. I feel fully rested after a months holiday. I apologise for not honouring my promise of another instalment before Christmas but events conspired against me. Well here is the next part. Enjoy!
Part 9
Jill carried her sad and dejected baby into the warm lounge. Madison continued to weep his frail body heaving with sobs. Jill slipped her fingers inside his pilcher. His nappy was very wet. She figured that would be the case after all she learnt with Bethany that if you’ve got an anxious upset baby you’ve more wet nappies. She paced the lounge as she endeavoured to pacify him. Slowly, very slowly he began to calm although the occasional sob was emitted.
Madison was beside himself with melancholy. He felt retched and unhappy. As far as he was concerned his life had reached rock bottom. He honestly believed that she had left him. He couldn’t, within his enclosed and shabby world, reason that that was not the case and that her ‘disappearance’ had a plausible explanation. His life had been in tatters before he was found and it appeared to him that it was starting to come together now she had abandoned him. His narrow jaundiced view of his world could not reconcile anything else. Suddenly she had been there but who had she brought with her? Who was going to take him away? He waited for another set of hands to grab him and take him away forever. He shuddered and shook in anticipation. The only arms who had hold of him were hers. His new ‘Mummy’ was holding him, embracing him, smothering him with kisses and soft soothing words. Suddenly he felt stupid. His summation of the situation and her actions were in conflict.
Jill repeatedly kissed her baby affectionately and whispered soft soothing words to him.
“Shh…shhh little one Mummy’s here. Mummy hasn’t left you darling she has been here all the time,” she cooed. “I wouldn’t leave my baby all by himself. I couldn’t do that to my gorgeous baby,” she softly explained. Jill sat carefully on the soft couch still cuddling her distraught infant. Madison sobbed into her shoulder. He rubbed his face across the soft fabric of her shirt. His Mummy smelt warm and reassuring. He could detect various fragrances which were synonymous with her – the herbal shampoo, the lavender body fragrance, the floral fragrance of fabric softener and lingering odour of laundry powder.
Jill manoeuvred him until he was sitting on her lap his head lying on her soft breast one arm wrapped around him while the other hand caressed his back. He looked up at her through his tears with a forlorn expression on his face. Jill smiled adoringly at him.
“Mummy’s poor, poor baby,” she cooed. “Aww such a sad bubby,” she murmured smoothing his hair over his forehead and wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes with his bib. Gently she wiped his mouth and chin then wiped the snot from under nose. He was a picture of abject misery. She kissed tenderly on his nose. He buried his face in her breast. “Mummy loves her baby so much,” she whispered. “So, so much,” she emphasised. Those words lit a small glow inside his body. Nobody had said that to him for such a long time. “Come on bubby,” she whispered to him. “You have some tuddles with Mummy.” Slowly she cradled him in her arms. She knew what she needed to do. Slowly she opened her blouse and lifted her bra as she turned his head. Madison saw the enticing warm nipple appear in his view. Without any invitation he latched on and started to s_ck vigorously on the warm soft morsel. “Good baby,” she whispered. “That’s it. That’s what my baby needs, isn’t it sweetheart?” He looked at her through his tears, whimpered and nestled in closer into his mother taking more of her breast. Mummy tasted so good, her nipple was so comforting.
“Mummy was outside little one that’s all,” she explained. “She was hanging my baby’s nappies on the line that’s where she was Bubby.” He felt stupid as the gravity of his silly and unrealistic behaviour was revealed. He released her nipple momentarily.
“Sorry Mu….” Jill cut him off with finger on his lips and inserted the nipple back in his mouth. He took it.
“It’s alright sweetie,” she continued. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. Mummy is the one who should be sorry for upsetting her baby. She should have told you where she was. Mummy would never leave her baby. He needs his Mummy doesn’t he?” she asked. Madison nodded and whimpered. “Of course he does,” she smiled kissing him on the side of his face.
Jill let him suc-kle for quite a while until she was satisfied he had calmed down. He really was in a fragile state of mind she mused. She couldn’t leave him by himself in his present frame of mind. He now needed her more than ever.
Finally she removed her nipple. He whimpered slightly but allowed himself to be cuddled against her. As she cuddled him Madison felt her fingers slip inside the legs of his nappy. He knew what she was doing – probing for wetness. He knew he was wet, very wet yet he couldn’t remember when it had happened or even how often.
“Maddie darling look at Mummy,” she whispered to him. Madison lifted his head and looked at her with a forlorn expression on his countenance. Jill was touched by his forlorn look. “Oh such a sad baby,” she cooed kissing him tenderly. “Listen to Mummy sweetie. You’ve got a very wet nappy so Mummy is going to change you, okay.” He nodded. “Good boy,” she reassured him.
Jill slipped her hands under his armpits and started to lift him to lay him on the couch. A startled looked crossed his face and made a grab for her shirt.
“No! No! Mummy, don’t leave me,” he screamed and tried to pull himself into her. “Nooooo!” he screeched flailing his feet. His sudden behaviour startled Jill momentarily. Madison began to resist her efforts to lie him down.
Jill clutched him close again to stifle his struggles.
“Hey, hey little one settle down. Mummy’s not going to leave you,” she said in an effort to calm him.
“Yes! Yes!” he screeched. “Don’t leave me pleeeasse…”
“Don’t be silly Madison,” she said sharply. “I’m not going to leave you all I want to do is change your nappy, so settle down.” She held him firmly. Slowly he stopped struggling and started to cry. He was frightened, so frightened.
Jill waited for a few minutes before trying again.
“Madison sweetie your nappy is wet isn’t it?” she asked him quietly.
“Uh huh…” he whimpered.
“Right so Mummy needs to change it, understand?” she probed.
“Uh huh…”
“Do you want Mummy to put you into a nice dry nappy?” she questioned probing away at his defences.
“Yes Mummy,” he whispered as he fidgeted feeling the very wet cloth around his bottom.
“Okay so Mummy is going to lay you on the couch so she can fix you up, understand.”
“Yes Mummy…” he whispered.
“Good baby,” she cooed as she lifted him again. This time he didn’t resist as she laid him on the couch in front of her. “Good baby,” she reassured. “You be a good baby so Mummy can change your yucky wet nappy,” she said softly. “Okay.” He nodded and immediately put his thumb in and started suc-king. She smiled at him. He had lost his dummy but Jill didn’t mind as long as was calm. She could tell by his arms and legs that he was still nervous and uptight. It was clear to her that she couldn’t leave him by himself at the moment he was too fragile. “Now Mummy is going get a clean nappy for her baby boy, okay,” she explained. He nodded and watched her closely as she left the couch, crossed the room and retrieved the things required from a pile on the table near the fire. Jill was aware that he was watching her every move. It was just as well that she had supplies at hand rather than having to go to the nursery because she didn’t think he would have let her leave the room.
She returned to couch and started to change him. Once she opened his pilcher she could see he was soaking wet. Slowly and using unhurried movements she lovingly removed the wet garment, wiped him clean, applied more cream to his bottom and doused him with baby powder before pinning the nappy snugly closed and replacing the pilchers.
As soon as she patted the soft mound between his legs Madison quickly rolled over and scampered for her lap. Jill grabbed him in her arms and pulled him into a warm embrace. This action didn’t surprise her given his present state. She affectionately rubbed his back as she felt him snuggle in. Her other hand went to his bottom and started patting it. Madison could feel the dull pat on his padded bottom. She did it every time she cuddled him and he was beginning to like it.
“Come on darling have some more tuddles,” she cooed in his ear. Slowly she manoeuvred him until he was facing her other breast. Madison watched in anticipation as she opened her shirt and lifted her bra. The brown nipple was enticing and he took it immediately. It was an action he couldn’t stop himself from doing. Its soft brown texture and the creamy white softness of her breast lured him in. He knew nine year old boys didn’t do this but he couldn’t resist. The nipple expanded to fill his mouth as he suc-kled contentedly.
Jill looked down at him adoringly. Her baby was where he wanted to be and where she hoped he would remain. His s_ck was strong and sent shivers through her body and down into her womanhood. Bethany had the same effect on her when she nursed. Her panties always became moist after feeding. The same was happening now.
Madison suc-kled contentedly. He was safe in his Mummy’s arms. No one would get him now. He had his Mummy’s protection. Slowly his eyes began to droop. He was finding it hard to keep his eyes open. Good, thought Jill, he needed to sleep but where was she going to put him. His crib was out of the question at the moment. The way he was behaving at the moment it would appear as a prison cell. Certainly not on the couch because he could roll off. Then she remembered the large pushchair in the spare room; her beloved Ian’s pushchair.
Ian had been her older brother. Unfortunately he had been born with extreme cerebral palsy. Her father had a pushchair specially made for him as wheel chairs had proved to be inconvenient. The pushchair was c-umbersome itself but had been perfect for him as he was able to lounge in it as his spasming body refused to allow him to sit up. It was ideal when the family went on outings especially to the local park which Ian loved. Jill enjoyed pushing her brother around in it because despite its size and c-umbersome looking nature it was, in fact, easy to push and manoeuvre. Ian had used it right up until just after his nineteenth birthday when a sudden illness hit him from which he never recovered. From then until the time Jill left home to marry Rob the pushchair remained in Ian’s room. When her parents decided to sell the family home and move into a much smaller house they decided to dump the vehicle. When Jill discovered their intentions she couldn’t bear to see one of the few tangible links to her beloved brother vanish forever. Against Rob’s wishes she took the pushchair and its contents and stored it in the spare room with some thought of using it for her own children. As it turned out she didn’t use it for Bethany so there it remained a silent and immobile reminder of love and affection past.
As Jill looked at Madison sleeping in her arms her nipple still in his mouth she realised that it would be ideal for him. So carefully, very carefully she removed her nipple. Madison fidgeted slightly making suc-king noises with his mouth but still slept. She covered her breast and very carefully laid him on the couch. He wriggled momentarily but continued to slumber. Jill headed to the spare room as quickly as she could in case he woke and noticed she had gone.
She found the pushchair where she had left it those years ago and removed the sheet that protected it from gathering dust. Stacked on the mattress were a number of Ian’s items which her mother must have placed there and Jill hadn’t checked when she brought the vehicle home. She fingered through the items and sighed. There were several pairs of large plastic pants that would be too big for Madison at the moment but may well fit him as he got older. Also there were several footed sleepers again too big for her baby now, a couple of body shirts with buttons in the crotch, several large bibs and what looked like a couple of dozen large nappies. Unfortunately Ian was incontinent right up until his untimely death so was in nappies full time. Again they were too large for Madison but would be ideal when he got older. He was using Bethany’s baby nappies at the moment and they were perfect.
Carefully she moved the pram. In all reality it was a pram. In fact calling it a pushchair was a term of convenience design to mask its true function and protect the dignity of the user. After she had moved some cases, Bethany’s bassinet, her plastic bike and a multitude of boxes Jill found she could attempt to shift it. It was hard manoeuvring the pram but with some effort it was free and she wheeled it towards the lounge. As she passed the hall cupboard she stacked all of Ian’s items except for four of his large nappies inside. These would be ideal to use as mattress and pillow covers. Satisfied she had all she needed she wheeled the pram into the warm lounge.
As she entered the lounge her eyes went to Madison. He hadn’t moved from where she had left him. After she had arranged the nappies until they covered the mattress and the pillow she very gently lifted the sleeping boy and deposited him in the pram. She rubbed a yellow dummy she had gathered in her way, over his lips and it slipped into his mouth. He started to reflex s_ck immediately. She covered him with a light rug lifted the hood and wheel the pram into the kitchen so she could keep an eye on him.
-
Here is the next part. Sorry about the wait. This one is not as long as the others. I think that some are too long. Anyway!
Part 10
Madison felt very comfortable. He loved curling up on his mother’s lap in the evenings. He could feel her loving arms around him as he laid his head on her breast. It was one of those pleasant evenings. His father was away on one of his business trips. He had to go away occasionally for up to a week or more at a time. When he was away Madison’s mother doted on her son. He was deliciously cosy after a gloriously warm bath and his nappy felt soft and comfortable. His bottom was encased in the soft and luxurious cloth. When he moved it hugged his thighs and lower back in its soft caress. It was sensation he was initially diffident about but as the evening wore on he began to enjoy it and overcome his initial embarrassment.
Madison’s mother had talked him into wearing a nappy. He usually wore training pants to bed for his wetting and although they did soak up most of the flow his bed invariably ended up damp. His father forbade the boy to use nappies. He wasn’t a baby and needed to grow up he scowled on numerous occasions. As far as his father was concerned Madison was just lazy and defiant, and it was only his mother who prevented the boy from being severely disciplined. His mother had spoken very softly to her boy and managed to talk him wearing a nappy. Madison was unhappy for fear of what his father would do but his mother insisted he would never find out. Also he was acutely embarrassed about the whole notion. He wasn’t a baby he told his mother. But it was through her tender and affectionate reassurance that the six year old had agreed to being nappied for the first time since he was a toddler.
Madison got the surprise of his life after his mother had bathed him, pinned him into his first nappy since he was a toddler and dressed him in his shortie pyjamas. He saw himself in the large mirror in the hall way. He could see the bulk under his pyjama shorts as well as a large amount of white nappy protruding below the leg. He was stunned at how babyish he looked but his mother sensed his apprehension and lovingly reassured him. Her words settled his inner turmoil and he did agree inwardly that he did look cute and adorable. In addition she had produced a new dummy to further settle his nerves. She wanted him to use it instead of suc-king his thumb. Of course Madison willingly obliged.
Now he felt happy and cosy nestled in his mother’s arms. He wriggled and the nappy moved. The dummy felt great in his mouth. He had always been a thumb suc-ker and of course used a dummy when he was little. His father had seen to it that all his dummies vanished as he approached school age. This broke his heart so he sought the comfort of his thumb much to the chagrin of his father. So when his mother produced a new dummy he was overjoyed.
Jill glanced over at the pram as she folded some of his dry nappies. He was restless, moving his arms and legs about and suc-king vigorously on his dummy. His rug had shifted uncovering him. Maybe he was dreaming again she mused. At least it didn’t appear to be a nightmare. For that she was thankful.
Madison could feel a pressure on his bowel. He didn’t really want to mess himself. After all the nappy was only when he happened to wet. His bowel was becoming more uncomfortable and small wisps of gas escaped into his nappy. He looked up longingly at his mother. She could sense that her boy was uncomfortable.
“Is your nappy too tight sweetie?” she asked softly. He shook his head. “Do you need to go wee-wees,” she continued. He shook his head again fidgeting even more.
“I…I…I need to do…” he trailed off afraid to voice what was happening in his bowel.
“Number twos?” she confirmed. He nodded. His mother smiled at him. “That’s okay sweetie Mummy will change you when she puts you to bed,” she reassured him. Madison was perplexed. Was she saying what he thought she meant? Was she acknowledging his need to fill his nappy? Surely not, yet the inference was there. “Come and give Mummy a cuddle,” she cooed and with that she picked him up until he was cuddled against her his head nestled on her shoulder. This act ensured his sphincter muscle opened and the motion started to slither into his nappy. Madison grunted involuntarily.
Jill stopped what she was doing. He still seemed unusually restless. The audible grunt caused her to check him. As she scrutinised his face she watched it screw up slightly as he slept. He flexed his legs and opened them. It was then that she caught a faint odour of poop. He was filling his nappy in his sleep. She smiled to herself as yet another hurdle was being crossed on his journey to babyhood.
“Good bubba,” she whispered as she straightened his bib. Very carefully she shifted his leg until a gap was produced between it and his nappy opening a vantage point for her to peer inside. Sure enough she could see a large lump of brownish yellow squashed between his bottom and the white cloth. She was pleased. Carefully she released his leg and let him slumber.
Madison could feel his nappy filling. It was an unusual sensation as the cloth stretched and pulled on his nappy pins to accommodate the lump. He felt his bladder give way. He grunted again as his mother rubbed his back in a reassuring way.
Madison nuzzled into her neck and the last of the motion oozed up between his legs.
“Finished darling?” she whispered in his ear. Madison nodded.
“Yes Mummy,” he whispered his warm breath tickling her neck. He was embarrassed and blushed. He stayed cuddled into his mother for quite a while occasionally shifting his bottom. He could feel the lump move. It was a sensation he found quite pleasant despite his initial misgivings.
-
Part 11
Something jolted Madison into consciousness. His eyes flicked open and rested on the creamy beige canopy over his head. He was disoriented. He hadn’t seen that before. He reached up gingerly with his hand and touched it. It was cool and soft. As he glanced down he saw the large handle down towards his feet. He continued to look about and moved his body to get a better view of his surroundings. Then it dawned on him – he was lying in a pram. Out of the corner of his eye he spied the golden fur of his teddy. He twisted to reach for it. At the same time he felt the sensation of a large semi-soft lump wedged between his bottom and his nappy. He had pooped his nappy in his sleep.
Jill happened to re-enter the dining room as Madison’s hand swung over to grab his teddy. She grabbed the waiting nappy off the table and approached the pram.
As Madison shifted his gaze from his teddy as his ‘Mummy’s’ face appeared in view. He smiled broadly around his dummy. His smile was reciprocated.
“Hello darling,” Jill cooed reaching into the pram and gathering his small hand in hers. “My, that was a big sleep for a little boy,” she continued. “My baby must’ve been really tuckered out, eh.” Madison responded with another broad smile. He loved the sight of her. In his mind she was the most reassuring and loving thing in his universe.
“Mummy, Mummy,” he chortled excitedly.
“I know sweetheart you are so pleased to see Mummy,” she replied affectionately rubbing his chest. “I know what my little one needs right now,” she suggested and she disappeared out of his sight. Madison was nonplussed for a moment and was about to protest when she reappeared holding a warm bottle. “What’s this darling?” she cooed in an enticing voice. Madison suddenly realised that he was hungry. Jill reached into the pram and gently extracted his dummy from his mouth. A trail of saliva followed it. Jill wiped his mouth. Madison saw the bottle coming towards him and he automatically opened his mouth and raised his head to meet it. As Jill slipped the warm teat into his mouth Madison started to guzzle on the contents. The milk filled his mouth and he swallowed it in large gulps. Jill slipped the teat from his mouth momentarily to slow him down. He whimpered.
“I know you want it bubba but you need to slow down or you will choke and make yourself sick,” she said. He looked at her registering her request. As she reinserted the silicon nipple she warned him again, “Now just slowly little one.” He complied. Jill noticed his guzzling had subsided to a consistent s_ck and she was praised him softly. “Good baby, good baby,” she cooed. “You hold it darling so Mummy can have a look at her little boy’s pants. I think my baby’s got poo-poo pants, hasn’t he?” she crooned. “Yes he has. Yes he has,” she lovingly chided him rubbing his tummy. Madison smiled at her around the teat acknowledging her summation. “Lie still sweetheart and drink your bottle so Mummy can fix up your nappy.”
Madison gazed around the bottle as Jill eased his legs apart and opened the snaps on the crotch of his bodysuit. With practised eased she folded the garment over his chest and opened his pilchers. The smell of poop became stronger. Madison looked around his bottle and saw her reach for and unsnap the nappy pins. Jill looked lovingly at her baby boy. He was a picture of baby bliss as he worked on the teat of the bottle. She could hear the regular swallows amid his audible suc-ks and snorts as drained the bottle. Madison was mesmerised as the warm formula filled his tummy and dulled the pangs of hunger.
“Is that a nice bottle darling?” she cooed. He nodded shaking the contents as he did so. “That’s a good baby,” she reassured him. Just then she pulled the dull yellowy wet cloth away from his groin revealing a large browny-yellow lump. Her eyes widened as she looked at him. “My, what stinky bubby,” she lovingly chided fanning her nose in a melodramatic way. “Whew! You have been a busy baby in your sleep.” Madison wasn’t sure how to respond to her comments. Was she being mean or just playing with him? He scanned her face only to see the affectionate smile he had come to love and realised she was playing. He smiled in response causing some formula to dribble out of the corners of his mouth. Leaving the nappy open she reached up instinctively and wiped his cheek and chin with his bib. Madison kicked his legs slightly. Jill giggled and resumed her task. Gently she pushed his legs up wiped down between his legs and groin in one fluid movement removing most of the offending waste. Taking the nappy from underneath him she repeated the movement wiping the back of nappy over his bottom then rolled soiled garment in on itself and dropped it on the floor. Meanwhile Madison happily guzzled the bottle. He revelled in her ministrations. She was firm yet gentle and there was certainly no recriminations present in her look or manner.
Using a couple of cool baby wipes his bottom was cleaned and a clean nappy slipped under it. Presently after a generous dusting of baby powder his nappy was firmly and snugly pinned closed, his were pilchersresnapped in place and the domes of his body suit firmly snapped shut pulling the nappy snugger into his groin. Jill quickly wiped her hands with a wipe before reaching and easing her boy into her arms. Madison laid his head on shoulder still with his bottle firmly planted in his mouth. He could feel her hand rub his back as she walked into the warm lounge and sat on the couch. With ease she swung him around until he was cradled in her arms and she took hold of his bottle so he could finish nursing.
Madison gazed into his eyes and scanned her face. The silicone nipple slipped over his tongue as he suc-ked the milk down. He fidgeted slightly easing himself into her embrace. He really loved being in her presence. He really loved being touched, caressed, stroked, cuddled and kissed by this woman who was now presenting herself as his mother figure. He felt so at home. The memories of his mother had become more vivid since he had been with Jill. In many ways Jill’s treatment of him mirrored some of the actions of his mother. Now more than ever he missed her.
As the milk slowly filled his tummy Madison thoughts returned to the present. Why was he allowing himself to be treated like a baby? Maybe, in his inner subconscious, there were latent feelings waiting to be triggered – baby feelings. Maybe he was really a baby at heart and the treatment he was receiving was freeing all the associated emotions. His mother had babied him especially when his father was not present and Madison had accepted it. But what he knew for certain was that as a nine year old boy this shouldn’t be happening. Nine year olds do not s_ck pacifiers, drink from a baby bottle, suc-kle on breasts orwear and use nappies, this much he knew. He wanted to fight it but he couldn’t. He lacked the will power. Perhaps he didn’t want to anyway. He could feel himself slipping further and further into babyhood yet he knew he was not being forced into it. Secretly he wanted it to happen and was more than happy to let matters take their course. He knew that he was being lavished with vast amounts of love and affection; all of it genuine, that he knew and understood. The interesting thing was that he craved it; the more he got the more he wanted. This was an aspect that had been missing from his life since his mother’s passing. There was no doubt that in the dark recesses of his mind he liked being treated like a baby, he wanted to be a baby now more than ever, in fact he was a baby end of story. If he was going to be completely honest with himself he liked suc-king his pacifier. He always had. He liked drinking from bottles because it meant food. He liked suc-king on Jill’s breast because it allowed him to be really close to her which he craved. And he liked wearing nappies. They were warm, reassuring, soft to the touch and soft on his skin and besides he now needed them. Without them he felt naked and exposed. It was gratifying to hear the metallic ‘click’ when the nappy pins were snicked together. He didn’t mind wetting or pooping his nappies. When it came to the reality of the situation he had no bladder or bowel control anyway. Deep down the simple act of having his nappy changed was yet another chance for him to be close to Jill and absorb her gentle ministrations.
As the last of the milk trickled down his throat Madison had reached a monumental decision – he was a baby and he was going to act like one. He was going to give in to his subconscious feelings and for the first time in his short turbulent life he truly felt free and happy. He felt that he was now truly where his mind and body wanted to be. He sighed and began to s_ck air from his bottle.
Jill had private thoughts of own as she repeatedly cast her eyes over his face and body then probed the depth of his eyes.Judging by the way Madison’s eyes were glued to her he was in a world of his own.
‘I wonder what you are thinking about little one?’ she said to herself. He was certainly lost in his thoughts and enjoying the contents of the bottle. He was now taking straight formula. Over the past few days she had decreased the amount of sweetening until she had abandoned it and he appeared to enjoy it just the same. ‘Good,’ she thought. ‘Because you’ll be on it for a few more years yet. Yes that and the breast milk my sweet baby.’
She had noticed the change in him over the few days he had been in her home. The frightened little boy was slowly slipping away although the bouts of anxiety were still present especially if this morning’s episode was any indication. She knew that those moments would continue for some time to come until his situation was completely relaxed and his inner insecurities had been appeased. Jill had also noticed subtle changes in his behaviour and mannerisms. They were becoming more baby-like. His skin was becoming softer and showing more condition, his hair was shinier, and his face clearer. He had a ravenous appetite that was obvious to her, but again she knew this was the result of prolonged food deprivation. She would continue to monitor his intake closely because the last thing she wanted was a chubby baby. She noticed, as well, that he was becoming increasingly dependent on her not only from the nappy changing and feeding viewpoint because they were natural, but from the attachment viewpoint. He was anxious about being separated from her and craved her presence, her touch and her embrace. Again she could understand why he was heading in that direction. He wanted safety and security. After all had he not escaped from a life threatening situation, if the bruises and abrasions on his body were any indication of what he had been through. Jill had promised that he would not return to whatever environment had been his home, even an abusive home, and she was determined to deliver on that promise.
It was clearly that the tragedy associated with her Bethany had left a gaping hole in her life. It needed filling and Madison was slowly but surely filling it. Jill scanned Madison’s face as he continued to guzzle his bottle. He fidgeted slightly moving closer into her.
‘How could anyone be so cruel to such a beautiful boy?’ she mused. It upset Jill that anyone, especially a parent, could be so abusive and cruel to their own child. She grew up in a loving environment with warm, doting parents. She had continued the same behaviour when Bethany arrived. Never in her wildest dream would she have inflicted any extreme physical pain on her daughter. She had been the light of her life. To see the end product of extreme physical abuse was sickening and heart wrenching. She could still see the signs of the bruises Madison had and inwardly shuddered. Her heart went out to him. At that point she was determined more than ever to prevent any repeat of that action. This beautiful creature was going to receive her undying protection and care, her undying love and affection.
-
Chapter 12
The audible noise of her baby suc-king air roused her from her thoughts.
“Good boy,” she cooed softly as she extracted the teat. Madison’s mouth remained partially open and the residue of milk trickled out the side. Quickly Jill wiped his mouth and chin with his bib. Madison lay motionless in her arms. His tummy was full and if he moved he felt sure he would spill some of the contents of his stomach. He felt his nappy grow warm as his bladder emptied involuntarily. “I think my little boy’s got such a full tummy that he’s frightened to move. Isn’t that right angel?” she smiled.
Madison stared at her. He knew she was right. Carefully Jill sat the boy up and turned him until he was lying against her front with his head on her shoulder. Madison bent his legs slightly as he nestled against her. He felt her hand rest on the seat of his bulky nappy. With her hand Jill gently patted his back. Madison knew that she was burping him like a baby. He had seen the same treatment on the rare occasions when he went shopping with his mother. He had seen other mothers with babies do the same thing and now it was being done to him. He knew he should have been embarrassed and attempt to struggle against her. This didn’t happen to nine year old boys. By the same token nine year old boys don’t have bottles either. At this point he didn’t care. It felt nice lying cuddled against Jill. Her hands were reassuring and her embrace warm and secure. Madison felt himself wanting to oblige her. He squirmed because he could feel discomfort in his stomach. It wasn’t the discomfort associated with nausea he knew what that was like. No, this was a similar pain you get when you eat something too fast, eat too much or as had been happening to him over the last few years, suddenly eating something substantial after a period of very little or no food. He could feel the pain roll around. It was becoming unbearable. He started to whimper as he squirmed.
“I know darling,” soothed Jill patting his back more firmly. “There’s windies in that tummy and they won’t come up, will they angel?”
Madison pulled his legs up to help relieve the discomfort and buried his face into his bib which Jill had placed over her shoulder. Why would she do that he thought? Suddenly, without warning he released a resounding belch. At the same time some of the formula he had recently consumed spurted out of his mouth in a wet gush soaking into the bib. Madison was embarrassed and whimpered at his infantile behaviour. Jill grinned when she heard and felt the spill. She was pleased with his display of pure infantile behaviour. Yes he was coming on very well she thought. There would be a lot more feeds and a lot more spills as he slipped further and further into babyhood, of that she was certain. Immediately she lifted his face to examine it, wiped his chin and mouth with a dry part of the bib and looked at her shoulder. There was a slight damp patch on her but his bib was soaked. It had caught most of it. Another baby badge she thought referring to the spill. She remembered fondly how Bethany did the same when she was little. She wanted more and hoped to get more ‘baby badges’ from this little one. As far as she was concerned it was a sure sign that he was getting plenty and that she was a good mother.
“Good baby,” she cooed. “That’s better isn’t it. Just a wee spill precious. Never mind Mummy’ll get a clean bibbie for her baby,” she informed him.
Madison was astounded by her action. He expected her to be angry with him for his disgusting behaviour. After all he had just vomited onto her shoulder that was the only way to describe it. He burped again but this time it was not as dramatic. Immediately the pain in tummy had gone and he felt better. Jill carefully eased herself out of the chair and still with Madison in her arms she slowly walked to the cupboard in the hallway retrieved a clean bib and returned to the chair. Carefully she eased him until he was sitting in her lap, removed the wet bib and replaced it.
Meanwhile Madison took in all the sensations. He loved it. It was more attention. He leaned into her. He wanted her. He wanted to remain there forever which, of course, he knew wouldn’t happen. Jill wrapped her arms around him and kissed him fondly on this head repeatedly. She really adored this delicate and frail creature.
After a few minutes of warm cuddles Madison fidgeted on her lap. His nappy was wet that was certain. He looked up at her and received a kiss to the tip of his nose. Jill caught the fresh aroma of regurgitated formula in his breath and clothing. To her it was purest baby smell there was, that, and the smell of a poopy nappy and baby powder. She loved the baby smells. They were scents of innocence, of dependence, of need and of motherhood. She rubbed his pacifier over his lips. Madison took it immediately and started suc-king. He loved his pacifier.
“Okay little one Mummy’s going to put you on the floor,” she said softly. Madison looked at her.
“Stay Mummy,” he whimpered.
“I know you want Mummy to stay and cuddle but she has a lot of very important things to do sweetheart, okay,” she asked sincerely.
He tried to melt into her more prolonging the inevitable. Jill could sense his apprehension and understood it fully but there were things that had to be done most of them related to his well-being. She caressed his face and brushed a wisp of soft blonde hair across his brow.
“Perhaps if Mummy changes her Bubby’s wet nap-nap,” she suggested. “Then…when Mummy puts the wee man on his feet and he can follow Mummy around and be her helper, okay?” she inquired.
Madison took in her suggestion. It wasn’t what he wanted but there wasn’t a lot he could do about it. He nodded slightly.
“Good boy,” she praised and laid him on the couch. She retrieved a clean nappy from the stack nearby and set about changing him. He wasn’t that wet but Jill felt that this would placate him. She knew in her mind that his nappy could hold at least two wettings maybe even three but in this instance it was unimportant. Madison felt he had won because his Mummy was going to change him and that usually took a while because she was always loving, tender and thorough throughout the process. He watched her closely revelling in the intoxicating sensations associated with a nappy change. Already in his short time in this house he enjoyed them. Jill knew this which was one of the reasons for acquiescing on this occasion. Madison sighed as the soft warm nappy was drawn snugly between his legs and firmly pinned. Jill patted him lightly on the front of his nappy. Madison smiled.
“There precious one dry baby,” she cooed lifting into her arms for one final cuddle. Then he was put on his feet while she picked up the soiled garment. Madison stood unsteadily on his feet trying to gain his balance the thick padding between his legs causing him to stand feet apart. Straight away he could feel the nappy pull on the nappy pins, hug his groin and bottom, caress his lower back and hug the backs of his thighs. Jill watched him with interest. He was like a toddler just finding his feet and trying to learn the art of walking. He clutched at her skirt for support. Jill was patient. He looked up her almost willing her to lift and carry him but she resisted. “Come on bubby,” she coaxed. “Come with Mummy and be her helper.” She took a step and Madison had no option but tentatively toddle with her.
That’s how that afternoon played out. Everywhere Jill went Madison was with her clutching her dress or his arms wrapped around her leg. At one point she ventured outside to retrieve the rest of the laundry. He tentatively followed her and clung to her. While she removed the items from the line he looked around the expanse of ground. He watched the trees waving in the breeze. He followed the leaves as they skipped across the bright lush green grass. He wanted to chase them and feel the soft grass on his feet but he didn’t want to leave his haven. He shivered. It was cool outside although the sun was shining. The wind whipped around his bare legs and snuck up the leg of his nappy. It fingered its way through his soft fine hair caressing his head with its cool breath.
He was mesmerised by the clouds scudding across the blue expanse of sky. In fact he was oblivious to what Jill was doing. He saw the large double sheds and the broad concrete path which led to them. He wondered what secrets lay behind the large dark brown doors. He felt Jill’s hand caress his head and he looked up at her. She smiled warmly at him. He took the opportunity to see if she would lift him. He lifted his arms.
“Up Mummy,” he chortled around his dummy. Jill looked at his appealing face and acquiesced.
“All right darling,” she said and stooped lifting him by his armpits into her arms. He had won. Madison immediately snuggled into her. She was warm. “Oh Bubby you’re cold sweetheart,” she frowned at him with concern. “Let’s get you inside before you catch a chill.” With some effort she was able to shift him to her hip and carry the loaded laundry basket on the other. Mother and baby quickly moved indoors.
Once in the warm kitchen Jill placed the basket on the table then lifted Madison into a full cuddle. Her fingers moved with practised ease and slipped into his nappy. He was wet. Madison could feel her probe his nappy. He was becoming used to that behaviour.
She kissed him sweetly on his nose then put him on his feet. He shuffled forward and clutched her. Jill wasn’t going to change him. He wasn’t that wet. While busied herself with sorting and folding the laundry Madison remained firmly holding her. It is going to be an interesting night ahead she thought. If he was this clingy now she could see bed time turning into a battle. She sighed at the thought. Maybe it will be temporary she hoped. Another worry was gnawing away at her. She hadn’t read or seen any missing children reports. This concerned her. Not from the viewpoint of having to give him up. That was not going to happen, but more from the standpoint that nobody had inquired as to his whereabouts or his welfare, not even his father. Jill was acutely aware that this was a small community and a missing child would create interest because it rarely happened.
She felt his hands leave her and she casually looked down. Madison was toddling towards the large window in the lounge. This intrigued her. ‘I wonder what is so interesting to attract his attention after the clingy way he had been behaving,’ she thought. She watched his padded bottom wiggle as he toddled over towards the large lounge window. There was no doubt about it he looked like a toddler. Good she thought with immense satisfaction.
Jill returned to her task but occasionally stole glimpses of her baby. Whatever was outside was holding his interest. She finished folding the last nappy and decided to see check his nappy again on the pretext of what was actually intriguing him.
She padded over the thick carpet glancing quickly at the log fire to check the fuel. It would need a top up before she bathed him. Jill stood behind him and caressed his hair. She felt him shiver and jump slightly then gaze up adoring at her his dummy bobbling in his mouth.
Madison grew bored with clinging to her. It was apparent that she was too busy to give him all the attention he wanted. She hadn’t even changed his nappy after she checked him. He knew he was wet and hoped that she would take the time and change him. It was going to be another opportunity for him to have her completely to himself but it didn’t happen. In fact he was miffed that she put him down and started folding the laundry. After a while he grew tired of clinging to her. While it was nice being in her presence, it was not having the desired affect from his point of view. His mind turned to the little bird, the fantail she told him earlier, which had flitted and danced around the shrubs in front of the window. Its antics were fascinating and he was spellbound by what it did. Maybe it was out there again. Madison left the haven of her skirt and toddled through the lounge heading towards the large window.
The shadows and movement created by the wind were alluring. He was drawn towards them. It was almost as if they were beckoning him. “Come, come little Maddie see what we have. We see you little Maddie.”
-
Part 13
He reached the window and peered through the opaque glass. He ignored his reflection. He didn’t need to dwell on it. He knew what he looked like. He knew what he felt like - a toddler pure and simple, a little toddler as well. He could feel his damp nappy droop slightly but it didn’t concern him. So what if he was wet. Weren’t most toddlers! Gazing outside he watched the trees and leaves heaving and dancing to the tune of the wind. At least, he mused, I’m not out there. He knew it was cold. Where is that little bird? ‘Come on little bird I want to see you,’ he willed. He was so wrapped up in his world that he didn’t see the reflection of Jill stand behind him until he felt her fingers softly slip through his hair. He looked up at her leaning slightly back at the same time. The action of her fingers through his hair and over his scalp was soothing. Jill looked down at his angelic face with his dummy bobbling in his mouth. She gently brushed a wisp of hair away from his brow. Madison smiled at her.
“What are you looking at angel?” she asked softly. He was distracted momentarily as his gaze returned to the window. Then he pointed through the glass.
“Bird!” he chirped.
Crouching down beside him Jill wrapped an arm around his slender waist and looked out the window with her face close to his.
“Are looking for the wee fantail?” she whispered so the message was for his ears and his ears alone. He nodded. “Have you seen him?” He shook his head then he turned and gazed at her before flinging his arms around her neck. Jill embraced him fondly and she could feel him push himself into her. She extracted herself. “Well, maybe, if you look very carefully and ask it very softly it might come out,” she suggested using simple toddler psychology and softly rubbing his back. Madison turned his attention to the vista outside. Jill decided to take the opportunity to check his nappy. She knew he was wet but he needed to get use to regular nappy checks. She let her hand rub over the seat of his nappy and gently squeeze it looking for any deposits. She knew, also, that he was not poopy but it was a good pretext to check on him. Madison could feel her hand knead the seat of his nappy. It was a sensation he was not used too and had not felt before. Again it would be another one for her mannerisms that he would have to get used too. ‘Why would she do that? What was she feeling for?’ he mused. Maybe, just maybe she trying find out if he had pooped his nappy. Well he knew he hadn’t. Then he felt her fingers slip in between his legs. He parted them automatically. “Good baby,” she whispered. “Just a wet baby. No poo-poos,” she sang. He was surprised by the second statement but it also confirmed his suspicions. Madison knew he hadn’t filled his nappy. He would have known if he had done that, maybe! “You look out for the wee bird darling,” she said as she stood and gave his head one last caress. “It just might come back if you’re a good boy.”
“Uh huh.”
Madison’s eyes shifted focus and he watched her disappear into the kitchen.
Madison lost track of time. Also the bird, he so wanted to see flitting around the window, never came. He was disappointed. Suddenly he felt himself being lifted into the air and being cradled in his new mother’s arm. He didn’t struggle because he knew it would only be one person – his new Mummy.
“Come on precious din-din time,” she informed him. He gazed at her as she carried him into the kitchen. In one swift movement he was slipped into his high chair and the tray closed.
Madison idly swung his legs as he allowed her to feed him. More food he thought and that was fine with him.
“Open wide bubba,” she cooed periodically and, of course, Madison obeyed. Very soon the bowl was empty, his tummy full with his bib and face showing the remnants of the orangey pureed vegetables. He watched as she placed the bowl on the bench and returned with another shallow plastic dish on which a sandwich had been cut into small segments. “There you go sweetie, you enjoy your sandwich while Mummy gets your bathie ready,” she said kissing him on the top of his head. Jill smiled to herself. He smelt of vegetables, stale formula and pee. A real baby smell she chuckled to herself.
Madison attacked the small cubes of bread. The taste explosion in his mouth was fantastic. Marmite! She did it again. She had filled his sandwich with his favourite spread. As he squashed the bread to the roof of his mouth the marmite oozed out flooding his tongue with the strong yeasty flavour causing his mouth to salivate even more allowing a mixture of saliva and marmite to trickle out and down his chin and coat his bib. Madison revelled in the moment.
By the time Jill had his bath organised and a rug spread on the lounge floor with his night clothes in position Madison was a gooey mess. When Jill entered the kitchen her eyes focused on the messy boy in the high chair. She chuckled audibly to herself.
“Maddie what a messy, messy baby,” she softly chided him. Jill wasn’t upset. She knew he would do this. It just gave him a more babyish appearance. It was also a deliberate ploy on her part. Just another small step towards his full babification. She picked up his bib and tried to wipe his face. Madison struggled against her. She was fighting a losing battle. “What a yucky bubby,” she chided. He mewled then grinned at her when she released him. “It’s not funny you…you yucky bubby,” she grinned. “I know you think you are clever,” she cooed. “Was that yummy?’ she asked brightly.
“Uh huh,” he replied grinning with a marmitey smile.
“Come on precious straight into the tub for you,” she said as she unlocked the tray and lifted him out of the infantile chair. Placing him on his feet she guided him in the direction of the bathroom. He toddled along beside his ‘Mummy’ her hand gently behind his head as she guided his progress. His wet nappy drooped and sagged between his legs and swayed with each step.
Once in the bathroom Jill knelt in front of him and slowly peeled off his clothing. Finally, once his heavy wet nappy splattered to the floor she picked him up and deposited him in the warm soapy water. Madison played with foamy bubbles while Jill cleared away clothing placing each in the appropriate bucket.
Madison lay in the water allowing her to play the soft flannel over his sensitive body. He was mesmerised by her ministrations. Mind you he loved being bathed. He always had only in the years after his mother’s death did his opportunities to bathe properly disappear and even then he was only able to snatch brief showers while his drunken father lay passed out in an alcoholic stupor on the couch. Madison knew that once his father had reached that situation the chances of being disturbed were minimal, but he still had had to be careful.
Jill watched Madison’s face intently. She could see he was under her spell, so to speak. He was so relaxed he was limp in her hands. He didn’t struggle against her or prevent her from washing his more private places. He was putty in her hands - a floppy baby. Jill cast her eye over his thin body. The bruises, so apparent a several days ago were now beginning to yellow off and fade. He was clearly not in any pain anymore. His nappy rash had almost disappeared. She reminded herself to keep his bottom clean with plenty of creams and oils and frequent nappy changes. The last thing she wanted was a fractious infant to contend with.
“Is my little boy enjoying his bath,” she asked him quietly. She saw him swallow.
“Yes Mummy,” he whispered nodding his head. His use of ‘Mummy’ made her heart leap. Yes, she was going to be his ‘Mummy’ no matter what it took. Also the sheer fact that he had used the word confirmed in her mind his view of her. Obviously, Madison saw her as his mother. The assimilation was beginning to make the connections in his mind.
Slowly and deliberately Jill continued to rub the soft flannel over his sensitive body. She knew he would be lulled by its action and she watched his face closely. Madison swallowed again deeply and fidgeted slightly in the water. He sighed as the flannel played over his skin over and over again. It was almost as if Jill was playing his body like a well tuned instrument. Finally she stopped then washed his face thoroughly.
Madison’s world was momentarily plunged into a dark warm damp void which suddenly emitted an intense beam of light when the flannel was lifted. Jill stared at his shiny face and scanned the pools of his eyes.
“Come on darling such a nice clean baby,” she cooed as she sat him up, removed the plug causing the water to seep away then lifted the dripping boy out by the armpits and stood him on the fluffy bathmat while she enveloped him in a large soft fluffy towel. She thoroughly patted and rubbed him dry. Discarding the towel she lifted the naked little boy into her arms and exited the bathroom.
Madison could still feel the actions of the towel long after it had stopped floating over his skin. He clutched at Jill as she placed him naked on her hip and carried him towards the warm cosy lounge. Madison wasn’t used to being handled this way. He looked at her, then down the hallway. He could feel his little peenie rub against her skirt.
When Jill entered the lounge Madison could see a large pink blanket spread on the floor and an assorted of objects placed to one side. He could clearly see the folded nappy, the baby powder and nappy pins. There was another pink and white garment he did not recognise. He knew straight away that everything was intended for him.
Jill swung the boy around effortlessly and laid him on the blanket. Madison looked around the lounge. It looked different from his position on the floor. He could feel the softness of the blanket on his back, bottom and legs. He could feel the radiated warmth from the log fire and its gentle seeping heat waves wash over him. His eyes moved over the items in the room. They all held a different perspective to him. He could see angles, shades and squares that he hadn’t seen when was standing or sitting. As he was taking in the ‘new’ sights his hand absentmindedly made its way to his mouth and he starting suc-king it for no apparent reason than it was there and it seemed the right thing to do. Jill’s quiet voice brought him out of his trance.
“Oh don’t s_ck your fist sweetheart. This is better.”
Madison’s turned his head to look at her. At the same time she removed his fist and rubbed his pacifier over his lips. He took it immediately savouring the silicon teat as it slipped over his tongue. Jill smiled sweetly at him as the white dummy bobbled in his mouth. She scanned his body again as it lay before her completely naked and at her mercy. Apart from the period in the bath this was the first time she was really able to indulge in a full inspection of his body and evaluate his physical condition. There was no doubt about it, in her mind he was a beautiful child despite the brutal ravishing and ill-treatment which had been his afflicted on his frail body. His skin was soft and pink after his bath. He was slender with very little extra fat. His body certainly show the evidence of poor nutrition. His ribs did show. She felt certain that the care she was going to lavish on him would rectify this condition over time.
She picked up the baby powder, sprinkled a generous amount over his body and began to rub and massage it in. Soon his torso, bottom and groin were covered in the white sweet smelling scent. She gathered his ankles and lifted his bottom clear of the blanket and slipped the folded nappy underneath before allowing it settle back in place. Madison was caught by surprise as she manipulated his legs and bottom like a newborn baby. He felt Jill place her hands gently on his thighs and spread them apart. He didn’t resist.
“Leggies apart,” she cooed. Madison was completely relaxed. There was no point resisting she was in control. He swallowed hard as the nappy was pulled firmly up between his legs. The bulk of the cloth pushed his legs further apart and before he realised he felt the firmness around his waist and heard the distinctive ‘clicks’ as the nappy pins were closed. His bottom was now enveloped in a thick warm shroud. It was a feeling that he was now used to and strangely enough looked forward too. He knew he shouldn’t be pinned into nappies but it was a small price to pay for all the fringe benefits he was receiving – the warmth, the cuddles, the affection, the security and, of course, the food.
Jill lifted his head slightly and slipped a singlet over it before guiding his arm through the armholes and easing the garment down his body. While he was lying in front of her he watched her slip some pink and white woollen socks over his feet and tie the ribbons firmly around his ankles. He was surprised at the colour. They could almost be regarded as girlish but he didn’t say anything. Also, he had was suspicious of the ‘socks’ themselves. They looked like baby booties. They couldn’t be, he reasoned, she wouldn’t do that to him or would she?
“Sit up darling,” Jill said softly as she helped him to sit in front of her. Madison looked down between his legs and saw the bulky white of the nappy bunched between his splayed legs. He was oblivious to what Jill was doing until he felt a soft garment being slipped over his head. He lost his vision momentarily until his head was free and his arms were being guided into the long sleeves. As Jill eased the garment down his body Madison took stock of what was happening. Again the garment was mostly pink with white lambs and rabbits dotted over it. When it was finally in place he realised what it was – a nightie. His heart raced and he felt his pulse quicken. He was may be a baby now but he was certainly not a girl. He let out a frightened squeak and started to cry.
-
Part 14
Jill was surprised by this sudden outburst. Madison looked at her with tears in his eyes.
“I…I…I…n…n…not a….” he paused slowly dissolving it more tears. His chest heaved. “A…a…girl,” he cried.
This caught Jill by surprise. It had not been her intention to treat him like a girl at this point in time. The clothing was purely functional and it was all she had for him to wear. She lifted him into her arms immediately as he sobbed and placed one arm under his padded bottom as the other used his clean bib to wipe his eyes.
“Oh darling,” she soothed. “Of course you’re not a girl Mummy knows that. She knows you’re a gorgeous little boy. But I don’t have any little boy clothes at the moment sweetheart. The only clothes that Mummy has got for her darling baby boy to wear are the clothes that used to belong to my little girl,” she explained. “You remember Mummy talking about her little girl Bethany who used to live with me?” she reminded him. He nodded slightly. He remembered. “Mummy didn’t mean to upset her baby,” she cooed as she tried to placate him. “Mummy hasn’t been able to go shopping for little boy clothes since you’ve been here. You understand that don’t you darling?”
Madison realised the truth of her comments. They hadn’t left the house except to go outside since he ‘arrived’ several days ago. She was right when he reflected. She had mentioned that she had had a little girl. Of course he had seen her photo and she had told him but in his confusion he had forgotten. He looked at her with tear filled eyes and nodded.
“There, see you remember, don’t you,” she assured him. Madison nodded again.
“Yeesss…” he quavered.
“Mummy has to keep her baby boy warm somehow, doesn’t she?” Jill explained in simple terms as she adjusted his nightie until it fell down his body and partially covered his nappied bottom. He nodded. He could see the sense of that. “Besides you look adorable in it and it will make changing your nappy easy for Mummy, won’t it?” she probed moving her head trying to gain his attention. Madison caught her eye and blushed when mention was made of nappy changes. “There now you understand darling, don’t you?” she continued.
“Yes Mummy,” he whispered and flung his arms around her neck.
“Oh darling,” Jill enthused as she squeezed him an embrace kissing him on the forehead. “Now stand in front of Mummy gorgeous so she can finish dressing her baby boy.” Jill was determined to firmly reinforce his gender at this juncture. The last thing she wanted to do was to humiliate him and further attack his very fragile subconscious. Madison noted that she was frequently using the words ‘baby’ or the phrase ‘baby boy.’ It was almost as if she was consistently and continually reinforcing his position which, of course, she was. With every use of those words and phrases he was slowly becoming resigned to his situation. He was a baby now there was no denying it. The psychological impact of those words was slowly imprinting themselves on his psyche. They were, and she was, slowly but surely brainwashing him. Yet the intriguing realisation from Madison’s point of view was that he couldn’t resist and even more noteworthy was the fact that he didn’t want to resist them.
Madison watched as Jill tied the white bib she had used to dry his eyes, around his neck. Then felt the soft bristles of a baby brush as she placed his curls and waves into some order.
“There,” Jill said quite satisfied as she leaned back slightly to take in the full view of him. He was a picture of baby cuteness. The soft nightie fell to mid-thigh length, his feet were encased in soft woollen booties, the large white bib was spread over his chest, the white dummy bobbled in his mouth and the thick nappy showed quite prominently below the hem of the nightie. They encased his bottom, curved down the back of his thighs and gathered in a white mass between his legs causing him to stand with his legs apart. He gazed at her. To Jill he also had the delicious aroma of a freshly bathed baby. It was a scent which she loved. “Come to Mummy darling,” she said as she wrapped him in her arms. “Mmmm what a sweet smelling baby,” she cooed as she suc-ked in his aroma deeply and stood exhaling at the same time. “I know what my baby boy needs right now,” she said as she headed into the kitchen.
Madison knew immediately what was coming when she walked over to the bench. He could see the teat of a bottle warming in a jug, the steam slowly fingering its way into the air before dissipating. She had a bottle for him. He started to salivate around the nipple of his pacifier. More food he thought. He certainly couldn’t complain about that amount of sustenance he was receiving, it seemed consistent, regular and plentiful. As far as he was concerned he was making up for lost time, for all those days, weeks, months and years of poor, irregular nutrition. Madison clutched at Jill tighter. Jill sensed his change in grip and knew why.
Madison watched in anticipation as Jill took the bottle of formula out of its water bath and gave it several shakes before wiping the outer surface free of water. She put the bottle down and hitched him further onto her hip. Madison felt the bulk of his nappy rub over his peenie and slip around his bottom. Jill slipped his dummy out of his mouth and let it dangle down on the end of its chain which had been fastened to his bib.
“Here darling,” she said proffering the bottle to him. Madison opened his mouth to take it and Jill grinned as he did so and slipped it inside. Madison started to suc-k out the contents immediately. “Here sweetheart you hold it,” she asked.
Madison grabbed it continuing to enjoy the warm fluid. Jill carried him into the warm lounge and paused to gaze out the window as the day light ebbed away. She could see her image mirrored in the glass and with her baby on her hip. Her attention focused on the small child. He was happily suc-kling his bottle with his other arm around her shoulder. She hitched him higher on her hip. His nightie rode up revealing the white of his nappy on full display. Jill could just make out the nappy pin etched against the white background. She noted he was idly swinging his foot back and forth his pink bootie scribing a low arc. Jill averted her gaze from the image and focused on him. She fiddled with his bib picking up one corner to dab his chin where formula had dribbled out.
Madison gazed at her but not really seeing. He was more intent on enjoying the warm formula savouring every mouthful as it trickled down his throat.
“Is that good?” she whispered. Madison roused himself and nodded as his suc-king action on the teat quickened. Of course he was enjoying, why wouldn’t, he after all it was food and he loved his food.
Jill’s gaze returned to the vista beyond the glass. She could feel the coolness radiate off it. She would have to close to drapes soon to preserve the warmth in the room. She needed the warm environment for her baby. Her ear was attuned to his guzzle and swallows as Madison lowered the contents of his bottle. She grinned at the little grunts and snorts as he worked on the teat.
The daylight outside was diminishing rapidly. The cloud was beginning to bank up and the wind continued to blow with the same vigour. With the increasing cloud it threatened to turn the weather into a more dismal affair. She hadn’t heard any weather forecast but she knew from past experience that similar conditions to this had deteriorated into rain. ‘A wet day,’ she mused. ‘Don’t really want it if I’m shopping tomorrow.’ She shrugged. ‘Can’t do anything about it anyway,’ she thought. ‘Got to get those things. I need them.’
Steadily she shuffled along still with her baby attached to her hip and closed the heavy deep red velvety drapes. Slowly the last vestiges to the day were closed like the final curtain on a happy play.
Jill crossed over to her favourite chair and swung Madison onto her lap. She reached for the TV remote and the electronic device sprang into life the sound from the programme riding over the sounds of her baby’s nursing. ‘Just in time,’ she thought, ‘The news hasn’t started.’
She cradled Madison in her arm and took hold of his bottle. Madison looked at her and let go of the warm glass receptacle. Jill could feel the strong tug as he suc-ked on the teat. She smiled adoringly at him pulling him closer to her. Madison stopped suc-king and let the air gurgle into the bottle before resuming. He fidgeted slightly acutely aware of her warm body. He loved the closeness of her. It was something he craved. He felt safe. No words passed between mother and child only tacit understandings and knowing looks. Just then the familiar music of the news programme took her attention away from him.
Madison could hear the television droning in the background. He really wasn’t tuned in. His tummy was filling and he was beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable from the bloating in his stomach and the pressure in his bowel. He wriggled slightly trying to alleviate his situation. His bowel spasmed but he ignored it.
Jill looked down as he moved, as she did so Madison suc-ked the last dribbles of lukewarm formula followed by air. She extracted the nipple and placed the empty vessel on the table beside her chair.
“All gone sweetheart,” she cooed as she watched the residue of milk in his mouth oozed over his tongue and lips and slither down his chin. Picking up his bib she carefully wiped his mouth. Jill carefully sat him up cuddling him close and started rubbing and patting his back.
Madison could feel his back being rubbed and patted. He squirmed in her lap as he tried to get comfortable. Suddenly he burped several times. Jill praised him. Fortunately they were dry but he could still savour the after taste in his mouth.
Jill remained focused on the news bulletin. She became perturbed as the programme progressed that his disappearance had not rated a mention. ‘Surely someone must be concerned for the boy’s well being’ she thought. It had now been three days since he had arrived and there was still no sign of concern from the outside world. She tightened her hold on him not wanting to let him go. Madison didn’t mind he just snuggled into her more. He felt uneasy though. His bowel was really springing to life and wanted urgent attention. Madison tried to put it aside and concentrate on being safely wrapped in his ‘mother’s’ arms.
The newscast came to an end. Jill sighed and kissed him tenderly on his head. She loved the intoxicating baby scent he emitted. The sweet mixture of baby shampoo, soap, baby powder and formula caressed her nostrils. She couldn’t get enough of the aroma. She stirred herself from her dream and picked up the empty bottle. At the same time she teased Madison’s pacifier over his lips which he took great alacrity. Jill slipped the small boy off her lap and placed him on his feet.
Madison stood there momentarily trying to gain his balance. He looked up at her as she rose from the padded chair and took the empty bottle in the kitchen. A few moments later he heard water running. At the same time his bowels stirred into life again.
Madison toddled into the kitchen to see what his ‘Mummy’ was doing. As he took tentative steps his nappy caressed his bottom and inner legs. He stopped. He glanced in the direction of the hallway. He ignored the images playing on the TV. He took a few steps in that direction. He didn’t hear Jill walk behind him.
“Where are you going darling?” she asked sweetly. He turned and stared at her than back at the dark cavernous hallway then back at her. Jill could see where his attention was focused. “Stay out here sweetheart with Mummy darling,” she suggested. Madison just stared. He could feel his bowel really beginning to churn. He knew it wouldn’t be long before he would be filling his nappy.
Jill paused momentarily then resumed her seat and altered the programming on the screen. Madison took the opportunity to inch towards the inviting darkness beyond the room. Jill smiled to herself as she saw him inch towards the open lounge door. Outside she could hear he wind tugging and whistling around the house. Madison stopped again. It was about to happen. He looked back at Jill and his face became transfixed. He had lost the fight and his bowel was slowly emptying into his nappy. Jill knew immediately what he was doing. She recognised the telltale sign of a baby filling their nappy. She had seen it so many times in Bethany.
Madison couldn’t move. He could feel the smooth slimy mess creep into his nappy and fill the small void between his bottom and the warm cloth. He grunted involuntarily and the mess increased its urgency to fill his nappy with greater enthusiasm.
“What are you doing Bubby?” she asked. Her voice stirred Madison to life. He pointed down the hallway.
“Dere!”
“What’s down there sweetie?”
He had to think fast to deflect her attention away from what he was doing in his pants.
“Teddie!”
“Oh you want your Teddie, do you?”
“Uh huh,” he nodded.
“Alright come with Mummy and we’ll get it,” she said leaving the chair and taking his hand.
Slowly he waddled down towards his room. Each step caused the mess in his nappy to slip and slither around. When they reached his crib Jill reached in and gathered the furry toy and placed it in his arms stroking his hair as she did so. Then she sniffed the air. “Has my baby done something in his nap-naps for Mummy?” she cooed. He looked at her not bothering to reply. “Mummy check eh,” she said. Jill turned him around and leaned over pulling the back of the nappy away from his back and bottom and peered down. The strong smell of poop smacked her in the nostrils. She could see a pale browny yellow mess coating his bottom and the nappy. “Oh dear my bubby has filled his pants,” she remarked as she further confirmed her suspicions by kneading the seat of his nappy.
Madison could feel the poop smearing over his bottom. Jill knew she didn’t need to do this but she wanted to reinforce his babyish behaviour even more. “Come on gorgeous Mummy change your pants,” she paused and looked at the nursery clock. “It’s nearly time of my baby’s bed time.” With that she lifted him off his feet laid him on the changing table.
-
Part 15
Madison lay quietly on the table suc-king his dummy and cuddling his teddy. Jill fussed around him preparing his night nappy and pilchers. Leaning over him she ‘beeped’ the shield of his dummy and smiled adoringly at him.
“My, what a stinky bubby?” she grinned and tickled him in the ribs. Madison squirmed and giggled. He was ticklish.
Jill noted the sparkle in the small boy’s eyes. He lay passively on the changing table his teddy cuddled in his arms and his fingers pawing at the velvety soft fur. He watched Jill as she folded back his nightie exposing his soft tummy and cute little belly button. He sighed and suc-ked contentedly on his dummy. He could feel the sticky messy inside his nappy but was unperturbed by its feel. His gaze shifted to the nursery, his nursery, as Jill removed his nappy pins. He felt his nappy loosen.
Madison hadn’t really taken any notice of the décor in the room. He noted it was painted in a soft tranquil cream colour, almost nondescript in fact. It showed no bias to either sex, neutral in its toning. The crib, now his, was white and for the first time he noticed the yellow stencilled rabbit on the foot board. The drapes were pale yellow as well. It was almost as if Jill had not wanted to lean towards any gender in her selection of the décor. It was as if she was preparing the room for either a boy or girl. Even the double cupboards which contained all the clothes were white. Madison knew that within those cavities was a range of girl’s clothing yet he hoped that maybe there would be something suitable for a boy, even a small boy like him. As he contemplated his surroundings he could feel his ‘mother’ open his nappy and start the grisly process of cleaning his bottom.
“My, my little one you are a messy baby,” she cooed to him which brought him out of his trance. He looked at her without registering any response to her comment. Jill caught his eye and smiled affectionately at him. “Never mind bubby, Mummy will soon have you clean and sweet smelling again,” she continued as she wiped his bottom with the cleaner parts of the nappy before rolling it up and discarding it into the nappy pail. Madison tentatively shifted his bottom against the cool baby wipe when Jill began wiping him clean. Jill noted this reaction but said nothing. Finally a clean double night nappy was placed under his bottom, he was coated generously in baby oil and baby powder before the thick stack was pinned snugly on. Instantly Madison noted the thickness of the nappy as his legs were kept splayed apart from the thick padding of cloth between his legs. Jill fastened his pilchers in place before lifting the warm limp child into her arms. Madison immediately snuggled into her his teddy wedged between them.
“Come on bubby,” she whispered as she carried him towards the padded chair near the crib. “How about some snuggles with Mummy before byes-byes time eh?” Madison didn’t answer but snuggled into her more as his measured response. Jill wasn’t expecting a reply she knew in her own mind that he would like that.
She eased herself into the soft padding of the chair and manoeuvred him until he was cradled in her arms. Madison watched spell bound as she undid the buttons to her shirt and removed her luscious breast from the confines for her bra. He swallowed half in expectation and half in anticipation. This shouldn’t be happening he echoed in his mind but what could he do to stop it; that’s if he wanted to stop it.
Jill gently removed his dummy dragging a trail of saliva from his mouth and let the infantile device hang from its chain. She wiped his mouth before turning him towards her breast dangling before his face like an over ripe melon ready for the plucking. She gently placed her free hand behind his head guiding him towards the luscious morsel. Madison’s eyes focused on the large brown nipple like it was an irresistible beacon against a sea of creamy white.
“Come on little one open up for Mummy,” she whispered alluringly. Madison couldn’t resist. He automatically opened his mouth on request and felt the soft, warm nipple pushed against his tongue. He let slid along before closing his mouth and starting suc-king it. The nipple expanded and crept along his tongue filling his mouth.
Jill was thrilled with the way he latched on. It was instinctive in action and natural in execution, almost as if it was second nature to him. She adjusted his body until he was comfortable then removed her hand from behind his head and slipped it in between his parted legs and started gently patting his thickly padded bottom.
Jill let her ‘baby’ nurse on both breasts for a while. She noticed that he was beginning to doze for long periods and slow his suc-king only to rouse himself and engage in a flurry of suc-kling before diminishing again. She also noted that he swallowed a number of times but then dismissed it as baby reflex as a result of too much saliva in the mouth.
Madison quickly settled into a nursing rhythm. Even though he was initially hesitant this quickly subsided. He actually loved the feeling on the soft nipple in his mouth. It had a strangely calming effect on him. What he also noted to was the number of times he had to swallow because of an apparent build up of excess fluid. The fluid had a creamy sweet taste unlike anything he had had before. The more it happened that more he realised that it was a mixture of his saliva and some breast milk he was drinking. He ignored the possibility choosing instead to savour the feeling of her nipple inside his mouth. Gradually he allowed himself to relax so much that sleep finally slipped in to take him over.
Finally Jill, with exquisite care removed her nipple from his mouth, wiped it with his bib and replaced his dummy, then with practised ease she laid the sleeping infant in his crib and tucked him in for the night.
As she quietly left his room taking the smelly nappy pail with her she stopped in the lounge to wipe her breasts. It was then she noticed the telltale signs and smell of breast milk. She was exulted. She was lactating that was abundantly clear but she was uncertain as to how much he had received but she knew she would soon find out.
-
Part 16
Madison lay huddled in his pee soaked bed listening to the sounds of the house but more importantly listening for the ominous sounds of his father. It was quiet at the moment. His very dark room was oppressive. The cold sheets on his bed had awoken him. He had no idea what time it was. CRASH! What was that? His body jerked with the sudden noise and his senses heighten in anxiety and anticipation. ‘The door,’ he thought, ‘did he lock it?’ He had to out of necessity. It was his protection against his unpredictable father. He had left it unlocked one night much to his cost. The memory of that beating was still vivid in the small boy’s mind many months after the event. CRASH! There it was again.
"fuc-kin’ little shit!” he heard his father slur. “Leavin’ his fuc-kin’ trash around for a man to fall over,” he cursed in his drunken manner. “Where are you you little bashtard?” he ranted crashing down the hall and thumping on the boy’s door. Madison whimpered. He hoped the lock would hold. “Come here you fuc-kin’ piesha filth. I’ll teach ya to kill ya mother. LET ME IN!!” he shouted hammering on the door and rattling the handle. Suddenly there was a regular thump against the door. His father was trying unsuccessfully to break it down. Madison let out a frightened whimper again and wet himself and his bed again in fright. The hammering increased and Madison started to cry his wails getting louder as he back away from the door and jammed his frightened wet body against the wall.
“NNNNOOOOO!!” he wailed. “NNNNNOOOO…..”
The piercing cry jolted Jill awake.
“Jesus Christ Madison…” she muttered as she dashed swiftly into his nursery. In the subdued lit of the night light she could make out the crumbled form of her baby huddled on the mattress wailing and crying pitifully. “Mummy’s coming baby,” she said anxiously as she crossed the floor to lower the side of the crib.
Immediately Madison sat bolt upright and shrieked at the sound of her voice. Jill lifted the quivering body into her arms.
A different voice pierced his subconscious. It wasn’t his father’s. It was a voice he knew but it wasn’t his mother’s. It was a voice he rapidly equated with safety and protection.
“Muuummmmeeee…” he wailed and sat up like a lever on a catapult. At that moment a sure pair of hands grabbed him and cuddled him closely.
“Ssshhh…ssshhhh….” Jill soothed the frightened boy. “Mummy’s here bubby. Mummy’s got you. You’re safe now,” she continued to soothe him, her voice soft and smooth.
Madison rubbed his face into her shoulder. He recognised her straight away. Her smell was familiar to him as was her embrace and soft soothing voice. He continued to cry but not as dramatically as earlier.
“Mummy…” he sobbed his voice choked with tears and its tone racked with desolation and despair.
“It’s alright precious Mummy’s got you. You’re safe now,” she reassured him quietly.
“Make it stop Mummy,” he wailed. “Make the man stop Mummy…” he cried.
“The man’s gone darling. It’s only Mummy here now. He’s gone darling,” she said as she slowly paced the floor of the nursery patting his thickly padded bottom, rubbing his back and jiggling him to pacify him. Finally Madison started to calm down. Jill sensed this. “Alright sweetheart Mummy change your nappy,” she suggested and carried Madison towards his crib. On the way she grabbed a nappy change from the pile beside the changing table, the baby powder and wipes and dumped them into the crib. She gently laid Madison on the soft mattress. Madison started to whimper again and rub his eyes.
“Da man gone Mummy?” he asked looking around his crib.
“Yes darling he’s gone,” Jill cooed. It was clear to her that Madison had had another nightmare. The night terrors were gripping him. She needed to delve deeper to understand what was at the root of his frightened state. “What man was it darling?” she asked softly caressing his head. Madison’s eyes widened in terror and they darted around searching the room, searching his crib.
“He…he here…” he breathed his face and voice betraying his frightened plight.
“No darling. Who is he?”
“Da…Daddy…” whimpered Madison and a fresh paroxysm of tears issued forth.
“Are you scared of Daddy?” she probed softly.
“Yesss….” he stammered.
“Why darling? What did he do?”
“He…he…” Madison sobbed trying to get the words out his chest heaving.
“It’s alright precious take your time and tell Mummy.”
“He beat me…” he wailed. Jill gasped in shock.
“Why darling? Were you naughty?”
“Yes…!” the miserable shrieked. “Yes!”
“What did you do?”
“I…I wet my bed and wet my pants and…and I…I…k…killed my Mummy…” he howled. “I…I killed her she died. I killed her!” Jill was perplexed. How could he have killed his mother? Something was not right.
“What do you mean darling? Tell Mummy,” she coaxed quietly still caressing his head. Madison was becoming hysterical. She reached in and picked up the distraught boy and cuddled him close to her breasts. She sat in her padded chair and cuddled him on her lap. He continued to sob unable to say anything. Jill was determined more than ever to get to the bottom of this story. Maybe it will provide a glimmer of light into his background and perhaps shed a ray of hope on what she could do to salvage his soul. “Shhh darling it’s alright,” she soothed. “Tell Mummy when you are ready.” She had already decided to delay his nappy change, this was vastly more important. Besides he would never settle while he was in this distraught condition.
It took a few minutes but she could feel his agitation begin to subside.
“He…he said I killed Mummy by giving her a sore head and making her look after me,” he finally blurted out.
Jill was dumbfounded. “What do you mean darling?” she asked. This had to be explored.
“He… he said I caused her to get a sore head be…because I…I…I made her worry,” he sobbed. “He…he called me a ‘pissy baby’ and a ‘peehead’ because I wet and she had to clean me up bu…but I couldn’t help it. I…I…was scared….” He broke down again.
‘My God,’ she thought, ‘How cruel!’ The boy’s father had poisoned his mind and taunted him inflicting massive psychological abuse on the boy by blaming him for his own mother’s demise. Jill was outraged. She gathered her composure and marshalled her response carefully.
“Maddie baby look at me,” she asked very soothingly. Madison looked at her with tear swollen eyes. His face was blotchy from crying. His nose was running and his cheeks stained with tears. “My poor, poor baby,” she cooed kissing him affectionately on his forehead several times. “You didn’t hurt your Mummy darling,” she explained quietly.
“Yes! Yes! I did!” he screeched. “Yes I did! After she died he beat me and hurt me. He wouldn’t give me much to eat. He said I did…”
“No sweetheart listen to me little one. Listen to me little one. Listen to me,” she repeated over and over again. Madison stopped looked at her through tear laden eyes. “You didn’t hurt your Mummy. Your Daddy was wrong, very wrong. He was cruel to blame you. It wasn’t your fault you wet yourself. That happens when little children are frightened,” Jill explained carefully. “Your Mummy did not get a sore head because she worried about you and had to clean you up. All Mummies worry about their babies and help them. I worried about my little girl and now I’m very worried about my baby boy but I haven’t got a sore head. That’s what Mummies do sweetheart. That’s what we all do,” she reiterated.
Madison shook his head. “That’s what Daddy said,” he insisted. “That’s…” Jill put a finger over his lips to silence him.
“No Madison that is not right. Your Daddy was wrong and he knows that. Your Mummy died because she was sick. From you have said I think she got cancer which took her away. It was nothing you did. Absolutely nothing. You were a sweet loving boy for your mother. You need to understand that baby,” Jill emphasised. “Your father was being horrible to you. He was passing his guilt onto you because he couldn’t help your Mummy so he blamed you, he blamed the doctors and he blamed the hospital, didn’t he?”
Madison remembered how his father had cursed the doctors and hospital for not doing enough then he turned his angry on the defenceless boy. She was right.
“Didn’t he? Do you remember daring? He frightened you didn’t he?”
“Yes…” his voiced wavered. “He did. I was scared,” he wailed. “He started drinking lots and there wasn’t much to eat. When he was drunk he would hurt me. He was always drunk. I think he lost his job as well because he was drunk. I would hide in my bedroom and lock the door. I was too scared to go home after school. He would try to get me. The only food I had was what was at school and sometimes stale bread which he got. That was all I was allowed to eat.” Madison was now sobbing openly again.
Jill was seething when she heard what the poor little mite had to live with. She clenched her hand grabbing the baby blanket squeezing it until there was no life in it. ‘The cruel bastard’ she said to herself, ‘The cruel bastard.’ She gathered her composure. “He did get you, didn’t he?” she asked. He nodded. “Of course you were scared. Of course you were. Any little boy would be,” she soothed repeatedly. Jill decided to change tact now she knew part of the story but there had to be more. She felt Madison shiver.
“Oh baby you’re cold,” she stated and she rose and crossed to the crib and retrieved his warm fleecy baby blanket and wrapped it around his small frail body then sat back in the chair. Madison felt the warmth from the blanket and cuddled in closer his thumb finding its way into his mouth. He started suc-king it frantically. Madison relished the feeling of his thumb. He knew that it was comforting. His anxiety and agitation had reached a new high. Jill ignored his infantile reflex. Although she preferred he use his dummy at this juncture it didn’t matter as long as he was able to calm down it didn’t matter how it was achieved. When she thought he was ready she spoke to him quietly.
“What was your Mummy like baby? Tell me all about her.”
-
Part 17
He slipped his thumb out and gazed at her. Why did she want to know about his Mummy? Nobody had ever been interested in his Mummy and at this moment he really, really missed her more than anything else on this planet.
“My Mummy?”
“Yes darling tell me about your Mummy.”
“I miss my Mummy,” he blubbered and the floodgates opened again.
“I know you do darling. All little boys miss their Mummies.”
“I…I…loved my Mummy…” he sobbed.
“Of course you do darling all babies love their Mummies,” she soothed caressing his back. “Tell me about her. What was she like?”
“Sh…she was nice and g…gentle. Sh…she cuddled me and cared for me…” he sniffled.
“Of course darling that’s what Mummies do for their babies. Keep going
darling, what did she do?”
“When Daddy was away she…she put me in nappies to stop my bed from getting wet and…and she let me suc-k my thumb,” he said softly.
“Well that makes sense darling. Your Mummy was being very helpful to her little boy because loved him and wanted him to feel better,” Jill explained. “But why did she do it only when your Daddy was away?” Jill asked a little puzzled.
Madison was silent. Jill could sense he was struggling with the words and trying to maintain his composure which taking its toll. “Be…because he...he smacked me if I suc-ked my thumb and wouldn’t let Mummy put me in nappies at night because he said pissy babies need to be taught a lesson for wetting themselves…” he paused. Jill was surprised at how easily all this was tumbling out. It was almost as if he had been waiting to unload and his cup was now running over. “He…he…tried to smack me but Mummy stopped him. He wouldn’t hit me when she was there. Mummy tried to make things better. She changed my bed and helped me get cleaned up. But Daddy was angry. I know he was I could see it.”
“I bet you could darling. I bet you could,” she murmured. “You are a very brave baby for tell me this and your Mummy was a wonderful Mummy,” she emphasised. “Did your Daddy know what she did to you when he was away?” she asked.
Madison shook his head. “No…” he whispered. “Mummy and I kept it a secret.”
“Wow that was brave,” Jill said brightly which brought a smile from the boy. “Did your Daddy go away often?” she asked.
“Yes about every six weeks,” he replied.
“It must have been awful when he wasn’t away,” she stated.
“Yes…”
“Madison darling did you like your Mummy putting you in nappies?” she asked. Jill had to determined how compliant he was or whether he was forced because this was going to set her course for him from that moment on.
Madison looked at her and swallowed. He wanted to suc-k his thumb at that moment. He didn’t want to betray his true feelings for fear she would ridicule him. Jill could see he was wrestling with the question but she needed to know.
“Did you darling? Don’t be embarrassed sweetie I won’t laugh or say anything mean I promise,” she repeated with sincerity and empathy in her voice.
He swallowed again. “Yes…” he whispered then he paused to allow the gravity of his answer soak in. “At first I was scared…then…” he paused again.
“Go on darling, you can tell me.”
“Then I liked it be…because my bed was dry and…” he trailed off.
“And what?”
“I…I felt Mummy was…”
“Helping for you feel better…” she cut in.
“Yessss…” he whispered then buried his face in her breast out of embarrassment.
“That shows you darling that your Mummy loved you because he knew you couldn’t help it so she was helping you to make it all better. She was being a good Mummy and being very sensible, wasn’t she?” Jill explained.
Madison looked at her. “Yes,” he whispered again. “And she even let me use a dummy…” he trailed off again and hid his face embarrassed by his admission.
“That’s wonderful darling you really had a wonderful Mummy,” Jill said. ‘Now for the next step,’ she mused. “Did you like your Mummy treating you like a baby?” she probed.
“Yes,” he replied his face still hidden.
“Can you tell me why?”
“I don’t knowww….” Jill could detect a waver in his voice.
“Do you think it might be because she loved you and cared for you and didn’t want to see her little boy suffer at the hands of his horrible Daddy?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know.”
“I think so,” confirmed Jill. “I really think so.” She paused many thoughts pulsed through her mind. “Madison darling look at me,” she asked. He lifted his head. Jill could see his eyes scanning her face. He was frightened. It showed on his face and especially in his eyes. “Madison, I will never hurt you, ever,” she affirmed. “Your father will never hurt you again, ever. I promise,” she said softly her own voice starting crack. “No baby of mine will ever be hurt and abused the way you have been darling, ever,” she continued tears slipping down her cheek. His plight had touched her very soul. To hear him pour his heart out drove through to her inner core. “You…you…” she was faltering but he had to hear it. She swallowed. As she did so she could see tears dribble down his cheeks again. “You are my baby now. You are my baby forever darling. I will never let you go, never,” she gulped wiping her eyes on the corner of the blanket. “I will protect you, love you and take such great care of you,” she emphasized. “Do you understand precious?”
He nodded.
“You are a beautiful sweet baby boy and I love you dearly,” she cried with that she picked him up and cuddled him close to her his face against hers their tears mingling. “I will make sure you are warm. I’ll make sure you have plenty to eat. I’ll make sure you are safe and I’ll even make sure you are clean,” she whispered to him her hand resting on his padded bottom. “All I want Madison to do is some simple things…” she paused.
Madison lifted his head. Jill could feel his warm breath on her cheek and the warmth radiate from his face.
“What…” he asked tentatively.
Jill kissed the side of his face tasting the salty tears. “All I want my sweet boy to do is call me ‘Mummy’ and be my sweet, sweet adorable baby boy. Can you do that precious?”
“Yes Mummy.” And he pressed his face against hers and she hugged him tight. Jill and Madison savoured the moment.“I love you Mummy,” he whispered so angelically and so sincerely that Jill thought her heart was going to explode. Yet strangely enough she knew he meant it.
Madison had never felt so happy as he did at that moment. He felt as though a gigantic oppressive weight had been lifted from his heart. At this moment he was no longer stabbed by repressed guilt. He had no reason to be scared or frightened. Madison also knew in his child-like mind that these feeling would return but now that he had faced them, spoke about them they seemed to have diminished slightly. Equally Jill knew that although he had ‘broken’ and poured his heart out there was still a long way to go. There would be more dreams, more misery and more melancholy. She knew it would take years to partially repair the assault on his esteem, allay his fears and quell his guilt. The hurt would never go. It would only lessen over time. This was what she had committed herself too. She knew too that helping him would help give her a chance to grieve properly for her beloved Bethany and Robert. He would be therapy for her too.
-
I thought I would give you a bonus double enjoy.
Part 18
Madison laid his head on her shoulder savouring her closeness. Carefully Jill slipped her hand under the blanket and between his legs. Madison parted them allowing her access.
“What a good baby,” she cooed acknowledging his submissive behaviour. He felt her fingers worm their way into his nappy. Madison spread his legs wider and lifted his bottom away from her to make it easier. “Good baby,” she praised. Her fingers probed his nappy. He was very wet. “What a wet baby,” she crooned. “Come on precious let Mummy change your nappy then Mummy’s got something special for her baby.”
Madison didn’t answer. He sighed and snuggled in more.
Carefully Jill rose and carried him over to his crib. She laid the sweet boy on the soft mattress again. Madison looked at her. Jill could see a renewed sparkle in his eyes. He kicked his legs and smiled at her.
“My new Mummy,” he cooed.
Jill smiled lovingly at him. “Yes darling I’m your new Mummy,” she affirmed. She watched him slip his thumb in his mouth. Looking around the crib she located his dummy. “Here darling this is better for my baby.” He let her remove his thumb and replace it with the white dummy. He suc-ked it happily. Jill gently folded his nightie up his chest and back. She rubbed his soft tummy. He smiled at her and squirmed slightly. Her touch was soft and made him ticklish. The sensation sent tingles of pleasure through his body.
As Jill undid his pilchers Madison started to gurgle at her. She looked him. His face was a picture of abject happiness at the moment. He seemed to be in a state of bliss. Then he started to coo and gurgle around his dummy. He shuffled his legs. He was playing to her.
“Is my baby trying to tell Mummy a big story?” she cooed to him. “Are you darling? You tell Mummy all about it,” she encouraged. As she undid the nappy pins he continued the gurgle and babble like any happy baby. Jill touched his nappy. “My sweetheart what a wet baby,” she repeated. With that she gathered his ankles and lifted his bottom clear of the wet nappy that same way you would do with a young baby. For all intents and purposes he was a young baby at the moment. She pulled the bundle of wet cloth away and dumped it on the changing table. While his bottom was raised she wiped it clean with some wipes before slipping the dry nappy in place. She gently placed his soft bottom on the warm mound of fleecy cloth and continued to wipe around the rest of his nappy area.
Madison soaked up all her ministrations. Every stroke with the wipe sent quivers through his being. He continued to gurgle and coo. He didn’t care at that moment what he sounded like. He loved what she was doing to him and he wanted to acknowledge it. He knew he wasn’t a baby but that was what he felt like. In fact he far as he was concerned he was a baby. He had left his previous psyche behind. From now on the nearly ten year old Madison had gone. He was not going to return. Never! In its place was the sweet angelic baby Madison.
Jill started to brattle to him just like any mother of a sweet adorable baby would do. She listened to his coos and gurgles and responded in a way only mother can. She rubbed baby oil all around his bottom and nappy area then dusted it with a generous coating of sweet smelling baby powder. She pulled the bulky nappy up between his legs spreading them apart. Madison shuffled his legs again acknowledging the imminent safety of his nappy. He swooned with delight as the soft cloth engulfed him. He was safe and protected. His Mummy ensured that it had happened.
Indeed as far as Madison was concerned his nappies were an essential part of him. They defined him as the baby he wanted to be. Jill pinned them snugly closed and refitted the pilchers before pulling his nightie back in place. She looked at him and gently caressed his tummy. She reached in and lifted him to her.
“Come to Mummy bubby,” she cooed as she rewrapped him in the warm fleecy baby blanket. “Mummy’s got something that my baby wants.”
Jill carried him to the chair and seated herself. She cradled the small boy in her arms then adjusted the blanket so his face and chest were exposed. She slipped his bib around his neck and velcroed it closed.
Madison watched as she undid the front of her nightie exposing her large creamy white breast with its dark brown nipple winking at him. Jill turned him to face her at the same time Madison opened his mouth and his dummy slipped out. Immediately he latched onto her nipple as soon as it touched his lips. He suc-ked hard several times and the nipple slipped further into his mouth filling it with its warm smooth texture. At the same time warm creamy fluid filled his mouth causing him to swallow. He suc-ked again and again and was rewarded with more of the intoxicating fluid.
Jill watched intently as his lips expanded around her nipple and took more of her breast. Then she saw and felt his mouth work on her nipple. His s_ck was strong. It sent shivers through her body and down into her womanhood. She could feel her vagina moisten. She loved breastfeeding. As far as she was concerned it was one of the most orgasmic feelings in the world apart from sex itself. She knew he was suc-kling her milk. Her baby was home and she was now a complete mother again. She knew now that her bond with him would strengthen with each breastfeed, with each cuddle and each nappy change. Motherhood was a vocation she was perfect for because she was a fantastic mother. She now felt fulfilled.
Jill let her baby suc-kle for at least fifteen minutes before moving him to the other breast. He mewled when she moved him which surprised her.
“I know darling you want some more,” she cooed. “Mummy’s got more sweet milk for her baby.” She touched his lips again and he latched on immediately and started extracting the nourishing baby milk. Jill stroked his temple. “Good baby. That’s it. You drink Mummy’s milk. It’s all yours precious,” she whispered in a low soothing voice which penetrated Madison’s subconscious and skirted around his conscious sensibility. He was in baby bliss.
Slowly, ever so slowly Madison felt his eyes grow heavy. He tried to keep them open but he was too relaxed, too tired to fight it. Jill watched him doze then eventually sleep as his suc-king slowed and stopped.
She carefully extracting the wet nipple and wiped his milky lips before slipping his dummy in and carrying him over to his crib. She wanted to take him to bed with her but fought the urge. ‘No,’ she told herself, ‘not now. Later, if he wakes again I’ll take him into my bed and let him nurse. Besides,’ she affirmed to herself, ‘there will be plenty of other times to have him with me.’
She removed his bib and smiled to herself. He was so tired he hadn’t even let her burp him. She bent over him and kissed him tenderly on the side of his head.
“Good night my precious baby boy. Sleep tight gorgeous. Mummy loves you.” She carefully raised the side of the crib dropped the cold wet nappy in the nappy bucket, wiped her hands, turned the night light down further and headed towards her own bed. She chuckled to herself as she noticed the circular wet patches on her nightie caused by the excess milk on her nipples. ‘Another baby badge,’ she mused. Jill decided she wouldn’t worry about her nursing bra tonight but from tomorrow she would have to wear it.
Part 19
Jill’s eyes flicked open. Daylight was beginning to sneak between the drapes and the window jamb gradually illuminating the room. She coc-ked an ear listening for her baby. As she moved in the warm bed and her hand brushed the wet front of her nightie. She lifted the covers and noticed two damp circles from her breasts. They were leaking milk. She caressed them feeling the wetness against her skin and sighed contentedly. She was now a proper mother. Her milk was ready her for her baby. To Jill feeding her baby was the ultimate pleasure. It ensured complete fulfilment as a mother. When Bethany was alive she used to look forward to each feeding as the complete joining of her and her baby; the complete and ultimate bond of love. Now she was going to do the same with Madison. She was now going to build that final firm bond between him and her; the mother and baby bond and once that was established it was going to be maintained in the ensuing years. Oh yes in her scheme of things he was going to be breastfed for years to come, after all that’s what proper mothers do. To Jill the first important hurdle was to gradually erect that desire in him to want to feed. She was going to let him set the pace and the frequency, in short let him demand feed. She wanted her milk to be the firm basis for his diet just supplemented with small amounts of carefully selected solid food to maintain some bulk together with the occasional bottle of formula as a top-up. She sighed again and smiled to herself as her plan was set.
Jill rose from her bed and donned her fleecy gown. The house was a little cool but a couple of logs on the fire would soon remedy that. As she exited her room she couldn’t resist stealing a peek at her baby. She eased the nursery door open and allowed her eyes to grow accustomed to the dim interior. She crept across the carpet. Jill could see his small body lying prostrate in his crib. His nightie had ridden up exposing his soft pink tummy, his pilchers and nappy on clear display. His face was turned towards the opened bars. She could hear the distinctive audible suc-king as he worked on his dummy. His hair was tousled and flowing over the mattress and his forehead. His long dark eyelashes were clearly etched against his soft pink cheeks. His arms lay palms up near his head and one bootie clad foot was clear of his covers.
Jill stood for many minutes absorbing the adorable image of her baby. This was no near ten year old boy now she was watching but an adorable toddler – cute, cuddly, adoring, loving and needy. She watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically. He stirred and moved his head, suc-ked harder and his legs flopped open leaving his nappy and pilchers bunched between his legs. He was still in a deep, peaceful slumber. She hoped he was dreaming pleasant baby dreams. By the look on his face he seemed untroubled and serene. She was tempted to cover him but decided against it. She wanted him to wake naturally. The baby monitor was going so she would hear his plaintive cries. As quietly as she entered she stole from the room pulling the door closed behind her.
Jill headed for the front door to retrieve the morning paper. As she opened the front door she greeted by a cold breath of wind. It whipped around her gown causing her to pull it closer. Swiftly she floated down the steps and picked up the cold white news printed tabloid. At the same time she collected the single bottle of milk. This was not for Madison but purely for her. She stole a look at the morning sky before returning to the warm comfort of the house. Heavy grey clouds scuttled across the sky. The air temperature was cold. There was a heaviness in the atmosphere which threatened the possibility of rain. Jill was amazed at the sudden unpredictability of late autumn weather, bright and sunny one day then cold and threatening rain the next. The front yard was a mass of leaves of varying autumn hues. There was a job waiting to be done, when and if, the weather co-operated. The leaves would make excellent mulch for her shrubs. She would certainly need to wrap her baby up against the autumn chill when she ventured out later in the day.
Quickly Jill disappeared into the sanctuary of the warm house. She entered the kitchen to place both items on the table before rekindling the fire. As she did so she coc-ked an ear to the monitor. Silence! It was essential to raise the room temperature ready for her baby especially when he started crawling and toddling around. With the milk safely in the fridge she decided to scan the paper for any news on the search for Madison. With her baby still asleep it was an opportune time. As her eyes slowly scanned the pages she felt a sense of unease. It wasn’t unease prompted by any loss on her part, after all she had what she wanted – another baby, it was unease in response to Madison’s predicament. There was nothing in the paper; no indication that anyone actually cared about his wellbeing. There was no brief police report, no printed concern from an anxious and worried father about the whereabouts of his son. Nothing! How could anyone not say something, anything? Not even an appeal through the printed media for any information concerning his whereabouts? Nothing! Although she didn’t want to lose him or offer any information, it was the apparent neglect and uncaring feelings from others which troubled her. He was not missed. It certainly appeared to fit with Madison’s description of his father. This troubled her because it almost as though he had been discarded like a redundant part. Even the early morning television news didn’t shed any more light.
Madison’s eyes flickered open. He stretched and rubbed his eyes. He could feel his wet nappy cocooning his bottom. He wriggled and shifted on the mattress. He allowed his eyes to grow accustomed to the dim light in the room. The crib rails towered over making him feel small. He curled his legs up and noticed the yellow booties on his feet at the same time his bladder erupted without warning and he felt the warm pee seep through the already wet cloth and trickle over his nappy area and down between his legs. He couldn’t stem the flow. His control had gone. He should have been troubled by the thought but he wasn’t. Madison realised that he didn’t care. Any way his ‘Mummy’ while give him a clean dry nappy. He rolled over onto his tummy and buried his face in the mattress before lying on his tummy his face looking out between the bars. He suc-ked his pacifier contentedly. He loved his pacifier, mind you he always had.
Madison tried to remember what happened during the night but only fleeting images appeared. He remembered being lifted and cuddled. He also remembered having his nappy changed. Somewhere he remembered suc-king something soft and reassuring and swallowing some warm creamy liquid but he wasn’t sure. He wriggled his bottom again. He loved the way the wet cloth slid over his skin. He lay there for quite a while allowing his eyes to take in the sights in the nursery, his nursery. Where was his teddy? He lifted his head and surveyed his crib. There it was wedged in the corner. He pulled his knees under his tummy and felt the wet nappy tighten over his bottom. He buried his face in the mattress again before lifting himself to a sitting position the wet nappy squashed under his bottom. He reached for the teddy and started to bury his fingers in the fur. He wanted his ‘Mummy’ now. His stomach growled. He was hungry.
“Mama…Mama…” he called and waited to see if he could hear any footsteps. He was about to call again when the door moved. He snapped his head in its direction and saw his ‘Mummy’s’ face peer around the door. There she was. He watched her crossed towards him as she did so he scooted onto his feet and clutched the bars of the crib. He felt his nappy droop and pull on the nappy pins. He reached out to her. “Mama…Mama…” he squealed excitedly. He grabbed her gown and tried to pull himself in and climb out to be with her but his feet kept slipping down the rails. Madison could smell her immediately. There was a mixture of aromas – stale soap powder, a slight fragrance of wood smoke and the scent of stale milk. As quickly as she was with him she left to open the drapes. He whimpered. He wanted her. Soon she was back wrapping him in her arms and kissing him tenderly. He looked at her as she lifted his nightie and pulled his nappy back. He knew he wasn’t poopy at least he didn’t think so. Anyway, he thought, he would’ve felt it and perhaps smelt. He passed off this action and let her continue ignoring her. When she lowered the rail of kiddie bed he flopped into her and grabbed her gown. At last he was in her arms being wrapped in a warm cocoon.
The nappy change was wonderful as far as he was concerned. She was everything she had been over the previous three days – gentle, caring and loving. He was mesmerised by her actions. Finally after she had tied his bib he was picked up, smothered with kisses which he loved before giving her one of his own.
Madison had always been a loving child. He displayed his affection demonstratively especially to his mother who always responded, but his father was a different proposition. When Madison tried to show his love and affection for his father it was either grudgingly accepted or not even acknowledged or reciprocated. This used to perplex him and upset him as well. What had he done to deserve this apparent rejection?
Sometimes he would ask his mother and she would be understanding, yet made excuses for his father which would leave his mind in further turmoil. Sometimes he would see other men, maybe fathers holding their boy’s hands or cuddling them. When he saw this he felt a sense of loss and betrayal, even jealousy.
-
Part 20
“Mama…Mama,” a little voice echoed over the monitor. She smiled. Her baby was awake. Jill bustled down the hall and paused by the nursery door. She slowly opened it and peered around the oak panel. He was sitting in the middle of his crib picking at his teddy. She pushed it open wider and entered. Madison’s head snapped around and he quickly got to his feet and stood clutching the crib rail. Jill was taken by his image – tousled dirty blonde hair, dummy bobbling in his mouth and his nappy clad pilcher drooping below the hem of his nightie. He was positively beaming and bouncing on the mattress. As she crossed the room he reached his arms towards her. “Mama…Mama…” he chortled. When she reached him she kissed his head tenderly as he grabbed at her. She extracted herself and quickly opened the drapes filling the room with more natural light. Madison watched her leave him to open the curtains. He whimpered slightly he wanted her.
Jill grinned to herself when she heard the whimper. He wanted her that was apparent. She crossed back to the crib. Madison grabbed her again as she lovingly wrapped her arms around him and tried to climb the smooth rails to get into her arms. She kissed him again.
“Hello angel,” she cooed to him.
“Mummy…Mummy,” he chortled excitedly gripping her gown and clawing at the smooth rails with one bootie clad foot.
He smelt of baby powder, stale milk and urine, a typical early morning baby smell. It was a smell she thought she had lost when Bethany departed. It was a smell she always found intoxicating. What intrigued her was the way he grabbed and pawed at her. This was different. This was something Bethany never did. He tried to climb the rail again.
“Stand still bubby so Mummy can check you,” she said softly. He looked at her with large deep brown eyes. Jill reached over him. As she did so he rubbed his face over her gown. She lifted his nightie and pulled the back of his nappy open and peered down between the cloth and his pink bottom. Her nose was assailed with the pungent smell of urine but there was no poos smearing his nappy and bottom. She knew he wasn’t dirty but she wanted him to get used to having his nappy checked. She released the cloth and allowed his nightie to fall. Madison pulled away and looked at her. “Just a wet baby,” she smiled beeping his pacifier. He smiled at her. Jill released the side of the crib and immediately he flopped into her arms. She gathered him and he threw his arms around her neck and cuddled in.
Jill carried him over to the large cupboard as she retrieved a change of nappies. She returned to the changing table and gently laid him down. With unhurried movements she lovingly changed his nappy. Madison lay passively in front of her readily accepting of her ministrations. He cooed softly around his dummy as she carefully and thoroughly wiped his bottom and nappy area. He flexed his legs slightly as she pulled the thick, warm, absorbent nappy up between his legs and pinned it firmly yet snugly around his loins. Jill decided not to cover them with any plastics preferring instead to see his unprotected nappy. Anyway, she mused, he’ll probably need changing when it was time to dress him.
She recalled how adorable and babyish he was the evening before as he toddled around the lounge and crawled over the carpet. His thick white fluffy bottom winked at her and shouted baby. Even when he sidled down the hall way on the pretext of wanting his teddy only to hide and fill his nappy she thought was so cute. She noted once he had messed his nappy he seemed unperturbed by the contents and happily continued to play.
Carefully she reached under his nightie and pulled down his singlet before doing the same to his nightie. Finally she picked up a clean bib from a pile beside the table and tied it around his neck rolling him onto his side to do it. When he was back on his back she flattened the infantile cloth over his chest. Madison lay still allowing her to do as she wanted, manipulating his body like a new-born. Jill leaned over him and Madison watched her move closer. He blinked then smiled reaching up to clasp her. Jill slid her hands under his armpits and lifted him free of the changing table and with him suspended in mid-air she brought him closer until his face touched hers and she smothered his face with kisses. She expected him to squirm away like Bethany used to do but he didn’t. He reached his arms out and grabbed her placing dummy-filled mouth on hers. Jill was touched by his display of affection. There was no doubt about it he was an affectionate cuddly child.
She heard her friends at play group state on many occasions how their little boys displayed the same attributes while those with girls recounted more stand-offish behaviour. The boys seemed to want to display and share their affection. Jill used to pass it off as idle boasting but now she was experiencing it first-hand. Jill pulled him into her and placed an arm under his soft bulky bottom. He flung his arms around her neck and buried his face into her neck. She could feel him try to melt into her. His tummy gurgled. Madison pulled himself upright and gazed at her. Jill lifted his nightie.
“What was that?” she cooed. “Was that an empty tummy calling to Mummy?” He looked down then placed both hands over his tummy and giggled. Jill rubbed his tummy. Madison could see her hand, his thick nappy and the yellow tipped nappy pins. He leaned into her trying to hide his stomach as it growled again. “Come on angel I think Mummy needs to put something in there before gets too growly,” she grinned and left the room and carried him down to the warm lounge.
Jill stopped by the fire and partially closed the damper. The lounge was quite warm. With Madison still clinging to her she crossed to the large expanse of windows and pulled back the drapes. Jill gazed outside momentarily. She knew what it was like outside then she allowed her focus to hone in upon the image mirrored in the glass. Madison tried to twist and turn to look out the window. Jill shifted him onto her hip. She hitched him up. Madison wrapped his small legs around her waist. He felt the soft nappy rub over his peenie and press into his crotch.
Jill was mesmerised by the image reflected in the glass. There she was standing clasping a baby to her hip. A scene that had been played many times with Bethany but now she had a new baby. Her eyes scanned his image. His nightie had ridden up exposing his nappy. His pink legs were wrapped around her hips and his bootie clad foot was etched against her gown. She could make out his dummy bobbling in his mouth. Of course she could hear him suc-king on the infantile soother. She noted his tiny pink hand grabbing the front of her gown. He seemed transfixed by what was outside. Jill was able to gain an appreciation of his size in relation to her and at that moment he looked tiny. In fact, she reflected, he looked like a baby which confirmed in her mind her treatment of him. For all intents and purposes he was a baby. That’s where he was functioning at this present point in time. There he will stay she decided.
Madison was transfixed on the images beyond the glass. He knew it was cold outside, it looked it and he could feel a draft radiate off the glass. He looked for his little friend, the little fantail. To him it symbolised freedom yet dependence. The bird was free to flit and flutter around the garden yet was dependent on the foliage on plants or the ground to be disturbed liberating his food. In a way that’s how Madison felt. He was ‘free’ from his father’s clutches and physical abuse yet he was dependent now on his new ‘Mummy’ for all his needs – food, warmth, clothing and cleanliness. His eyes scanned the buffeted shrubs and trees then followed the leaves as they dashed past him. Occasionally his eyes shifted focus and watch his ‘mother’ then scanned himself. His nine year old psyche, both physical and psychological, were gone replaced by that of a baby. All he saw when he gazed at himself was a baby. Is that what he really looked like? Surely no one would recognise him the way he was now. And to top it all he liked what he saw. He had accepted and assimilated all its trappings. He wanted to be a baby. By losing himself in the baby world he hoped he would leave behind all his hurt, all his disappointments, all the sadness which had permeated his existence. And just to celebrate his new found joy and contentment he wet his new nappy.
Jill stirred herself from her daydream.
“Come on bubby,” she said softly hitching him up on her hip again. “I think it’s time my baby had something nice in his tum-tum.”
Madison brought himself back to the present and looked at her then laid his head on her shoulder. ‘Yip,’ he thought, ‘something to eat would be nice.’
-
Part 21
Jill walked over to the large comfortable couch and settled herself into the comfy cushions. Madison looked around perplexed. She hadn’t gone to the kitchen to get his bottle. That’s what he wanted and expected. He was swung around until he was settled on her lap. His stomach growled again. He started to mewl hoping she would see the error of her action and get his bottle.
“I know darling my baby’s hungry,” she cooed. “It’s alright little one Mummy’s got something for you,” she continued as she rearranged his bib and laid him back in her arms. It must be beside her he reasoned to himself. She must have got it earlier and now it was cooling ready for him beside the couch. Jill slipped his dummy from his lip trailing a line of saliva over his chin. She smiled and wiped his chin.
Madison watched as she opened her gown and parted her nightie exposing her fulsome breast. He swallowed. When he looked at the large brown nipple it was glistening. He watched spellbound as she pinched it and a drop of creamy fluid appeared.
“Okay little one time for some breakkie,” she cooed as she turned him to face her breast. Madison felt a surge of panic. He had had snuggles over the past three days but nothing was forthcoming. He had been content to suc-k her nipple the same way he suc-ked his dummy for comfort and security but this was going to be different. Madison felt her hand on the back of his head guide him towards the glistening tumescence. He wanted to resist but he felt himself being drawn towards it. It touched his lips and he instinctively opened his mouth and suc-ked the nipple in. Immediately his mouth filled with warm creamy fluid. It had a thin taste unlike anything he had had before. He swallowed and his stomach rejoiced. The more he suc-ked the more he was rewarded. He moved in closer and took more of the nipple in his mouth until it almost filled it. The milk gurgled down his throat. It was a steady flow and he had to swallow quickly before his mouth filled again. He sighed and relaxed and nursed quite contentedly. Now he was a real baby he thought.
Jill was thrilled at the way he quickly latched on. She could hear his hurried swallows and feel his firm strong suc-k as he extracted more and more of her nourishing fluid. As far as she was concerned her baby was home and where he should be – on her breast. That’s where he would remain in the years to come from her perspective.
Madison could feel her fingers lovingly stroke his temple and caress his cheek. It was as soothing as was the milk which filled his tummy. He felt her hand slip between his legs and start patting his thick nappied bottom. As he nursed he could hear the rhythmic dull ‘whamp’ ‘whamp’ as his ‘mother’s’ hand patted his bottom. It was a sensation he liked. He looked sideways at her. Jill smiled when she saw him gazing up at her, her nipple firmly wedged in his mouth. He smiled back and a trickle of milk oozed out of the corner of his mouth.
He was lost in his thoughts as he nursed. His mind dwelt upon his present situation. Who would have thought that he would have ended up here, in this home, so far from his? All he had been intent on doing was to get away from his father; as far away as possible. Maybe it was luck that brought him here, maybe it was good fortune. Maybe it was co-incidence or perhaps destiny, whatever it was he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned he felt safe, wanted and loved for the first time in his life. The fact that he was now in nappies, virtually babied around the clock and was now suc-kling breast milk didn’t matter. Madison savoured every swallow of the infantile ‘formula’. It was soothing and filling. He could feel his hunger being dulled. He wriggled his bottom. The soft cloth of his nappy reminding him of his new status. He smiled inwardly. He loved it. His new ‘mother’s’ arms and warm body cocooned him and wrapped themselves in a shroud. So he had to behave like a baby – so what? It wouldn’t be hard for him. He knew that because deep down he was a baby. He hadn’t really grown up; perhaps he had physically but certainly not psychologically.
Jill watched as he lifted his small delicate hand and rested it on the top of her breast his small fingers lightly pawing at her skin. She remembered how Bethany did the same. It was almost as if he was wanting greater contact with her, and saying with his baby-like movements – ‘This is mine Mummy.’
‘Yes sweetheart it is yours darling,’ she said in her head. ‘It will always be yours.’
Madison loved the way the swollen nipple caressed his tongue and mouth as he suc-ked. When he drew the nipple across his tongue he was rewarded with warm milk. suc-k, swallow, suc-k, swallow he told himself as he set his own rhythm. He wriggled his bottom again and pulled his legs up slightly. He grimaced and stopped suc-king momentarily. He could feel his ‘Mummy’ patting his bottom. Then his bowel opened involuntarily and a warm ooze wormed its way out and coated his bottom and nappy. Madison suddenly felt himself push in a reflex action and more of the warm mess seeped out in a steady motion.
Jill watched her baby intently. His eyes looked dreamy and the large dark eye lashes fluttered. His nostrils flared and relaxed almost in sync with his suc-king. She could see the muscles in his jaw work in unison as they suc-ked the nourishment from her mammary. Suddenly he stopped suc-king and grimaced and low growl rumbled in his throat. She stopped patting his nappy but rested her hand instead. There, she could feel it. He was filling his nappy in the same manner as any baby. She felt him tense and grunt as more poos, this time a steady flow, could be felt entering his nappy. The cloth moved as the waste filled any space. She lightly rubbed his seated. His eyes flicked towards her then he resumed nursing again.
Madison could feel the stead ooze of poop fill his nappy. He couldn’t stop it even if he tried. Anyway he didn’t want too, the milk he was drinking was more important to him. That, and showing his ‘Mummy’ what a good baby he was. He looked at her fleetingly. She had a knowing look on her face. She knew what he had done.
“I think my baby has just filled his nap-nap, hasn’t he eh?” she stated quietly. “Have you got a parcel for Mummy to clean up, eh?” Madison looked at her. There was no need to respond she knew he had. He grinned around her nipple. “I know you think you’re clever, don’t you?” she continued playfully.
Jill cast her eye along his slender, delicate body. His nightie had ridden up exposing his pink tummy and back. His nappy was snugly pinned around him. At this moment he looked more like a baby than ever. Madison shifted his legs and poos slithered over his bottom. His bladder had emptied at the same time but he hadn’t felt it. He knew he had because the front and side of his nappy were warm and wet. He lifted his leg to scratch it with his free hand. Jill caught and caressed it. Madison looked at her and smiled. Jill took the opportunity while his leg was open to peer between the soft skin of his thigh and the fluffy white cloth. She could see the yellowy-brown paste smeared over his bottom and upper leg as well covering his nappy. At this point she needed those nappy liners more than ever. This nappy, she was sure, would need a good soak in Napisan.
Finally she noted that his swallowing had become intermittent. Her breast had surrendered all of its nourishment in the meantime. Using a finger she delicately slipped it between his lips and her breast to break the seal. Madison relaxed his mouth and the nipple slowly wormed its way out. Jill quickly wiped her breast on her nightie before letting it slip out of sight. Madison rolled away and gazed at her his mouth partially open and breast milk coating his tongue, lips and chin. Jill could see it pooling in the corners of his mouth. She lovingly wiped his mouth with his bib. He let his legs slump further trapping the mess in his nappy against him. He didn’t care at the moment. His tummy was nearly full and he was basking in the last mouthfuls.
Jill reached over to the stack of freshly folded nappies on the table beside the couch and took one. She draped it over her shoulder. Should he spill which was likely, she mused, she didn’t want the ‘baby badge’ on her gown.
“Come on little one,” she cooed as she slipped her hands under his armpits. “I think there’s some windies rolling around in that wee tum-tum,” she crooned. Ever so slowly she lifted him until he was propped against her his face facing behind her and over the nappy. She placed one hand firmly under his bottom. This squashed the poopy mess into his bottom and nappy then she used the other to gently pat his back.
Madison knew he was being ‘burped’. He was used to it now. He ignored the squishing sensation when she supported his bottom. He squirmed because he could feel an uncomfortable tightness in his stomach. Without warning he belched loudly then again and again.
“Good boy,” praised Jill and a quiet motherly tone. He burped again and a rush of regurgitated breast milk flooded out of his mouth, down his chin and over the nappy. He burped and the same infantile spill happened again. Jill reached up and gently eased him off her shoulder. “My, my, what a wee piggy eh. A wee piggy bubby,” she soothed as she wiped his mouth and chin. Madison knew by her tone she wasn’t angry or disgusted. She kept patting his back. Madison knew there was very little wind left. His stomach had lost its tightness and was more comfortable.
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Part 22
After a few more minutes Jill decided it was time to change him before giving him more.
“Come on angel,” she soothed. “Mummy had better change a wee bubby’s poopy nap-naps.” She carefully lifted him from her shoulder, turned and placed the spare nappy on the cushion of the couch beside her before laying him on it. If he split again the nappy would catch it and not mark the cushion.
Madison looked at her as he lay in front of her his legs slightly bent. He could smell the residue of his milky spill on the nappy he was lying on. His hands were palm up beside his head. He watched as she reached behind her and retrieved several freshly laundered nappies. He gazed spellbound as she opened them out, place them together and proceeded to fold them. He watched as she folded another single nappy and placed it on top of the fold. To Madison it felt strange to observe her preparing something he was going to wear. He hadn’t seen her do it before. Whenever she had changed him before the folded nappies were ready and waiting, this time she had to prepare them. They were his nappies and eventually he was going soil them in some way. It was this basic realisation which had struck Madison.
Jill was gentle and caring as she went about the grisly task. Madison lay passively soaking up her ministrations. He could feel the breast milk sitting comfortably in his stomach. He turned and looked at the log fire with its lazy flame dancing around the firebox. He belched and his mouth filled regurgitated breast milk, a taste which Madison found unpleasant. It oozed out of the corner of his mouth, trickled down the side of his face and pooled on the nappy covering the couch. Jill heard him belch and saw the white ooze course out of his mouth. Quickly she wiped up the infantile mess with a spare cloth.
“Oh dear little one,” she cooed as she wiped his face. “A wee sickie eh.” Her voice wasn’t accusatory or tinged with any malice. It was soothing and coated with concern like any mother would for her baby.
Once he was cleaned up she returned to the smelly task of changing him. She smiled at him as she lifted his nightie out of the way and rolled him sideways so she could do the same up his back. He was used to being manipulated like a baby. She patted the bunched cloth between his legs. Madison allowed them to flop open. Jill looked around to reassure herself that the wipes were within reach. She knew this was going to be a messy affair so she wanted everything at her fingertips.
She removed the nappy pins from the cloth and gingerly pulled the wet cloth away from his groin. His bottom was smeared in the creamy brown waste. Using the cleaner parts of the nappy she wiped his bottom until most of it had been scraped into his nappy. Madison could feel every sweep of the cloth over his bottom. He lay impassively on the couch enjoying the sensation. He loved having his nappy changed because his ‘Mummy’ was always so gentle and caring. Next he was thoroughly washed with a cool flannel followed my some scented baby wipes. When she was satisfied that he was clean his nappy was slipped under his small bottom, copious amounts of baby powder added then it was pinned snugly in place. Madison sighed after the second nappy pin was snapped closed. Jill gently patted the soft white mound between his legs as though she was checking there was enough nappy in place. Leaning over she slipped her hands under his armpits.
“Come to Mummy precious,” she cooed and lifted Madison into her arms. Immediately he snuggled into her his face buried in her neck. Jill could feel his warm breath caress her neck. It sent luxurious shivers down her spin. She loved it when her babies snuggled in like that and Madison more so. Bethany didn’t do it very much but Madison was clearly a very cuddly child. This was what Jill was struggling to reconcile. Madison was clearly a very cuddly and affectionate child. His actions over the last couple of days had confirmed this, yet why would someone want to reject him. Surely, she reasoned, having a cuddly child was the ultimate for any mother or any parent. It meant in her mind that that child recognised and wanted the warmth, closeness and affection from their parent and was prepared to reciprocate in return. Her feelings were reinforced when Madison snuggled into her more. She could feel his little bottom inside his nappy as she caressed his naps. Why would his father, having lost the boy’s mother turn, savagely reject the closest creature in his life. To her it was beyond comprehension. Madison continued to wriggle and snuggle in.
“Is my baby okay?” she whispered in his ears.
“Mmmmmmmm…” he murmured.
“Do you like having cuddles with Mummy?” she asked softly.
“Mmmmmmmm…”
Both just savoured the moments. Then very gently Jill shifted the small boy until he was once more cradled in her arms. As she opened her nightie again Madison turned toward the gleaming wet nipple and was drawn to it like a magnet. Jill didn’t need to coax or guide him it was in his mouth and he was suc-kling before she knew. She relaxed letting down her milk. Madison’s mouth began to fill quickly again and initially he struggled to keep up with the flow. Finally he managed to control it and let his tummy continue to fill. Jill scanned his fragile body. He was smaller than any near ten year old she had ever met. His arms and legs were slender, his hands and feet small. His face was narrow and his blonde hair fell over his head in beautiful waves and curls. It shone in the morning light cascading through the lounge windows. It had lost its lank, straggly greasy unkempt look. She watched his jaw work on her nipple and could see his throat contracting as he swallowed her nectar. His nightie had ridden up exposing his lower torso with his ribs outlined against his skin. The nappy cupped and wrapped itself around his loins completing his baby-like appearance. She was pleased that he had now become attuned to being in nappies. He needed them now anyway. She smiled to herself in the realisation that he would probably never be out of them. What surprised her was the fact that he was wearing baby nappies and they fitted him beautifully. That gave a true indication of how delicate and frail he was.
Jill also wondered whether his present physical condition was the result of all the emotional, physical, and psychological abuse he had received. He was certainly well under nourished. She watched with love glowing in her eyes as his tiny hand kneaded her breast and his small body wriggled and twitched just like a young baby.
Madison couldn’t wait for her to expose her breast. He craved for what she had inside them. He had already partially filled his tummy on the infantile nectar and wanted more. He knew that boys’ of his age just didn’t suc-kle on breasts or drink breast milk, yet he didn’t care. What age was he, he questioned himself? He knew he was nearly ten because his tenth birthday was close. Yet he didn’t feel like ten and didn’t want to be ten. His head and heart were saying to him in subtle ways – “You’re nearly two Maddie, that’s how old you really are. You want to be two. You’re only a baby Maddie, a cute toddler. That’s what you really are, aren’t you?” His subconscious was now taking over and Madison found himself nodding as he guzzled the milk. His new mothers’ arms always were warm and inviting, her breasts were now his to get food, his nappy felt soft, comforting and safe, his pacifier always felt reassuring and ultimately he felt at home. That was it – he was at home.
Gradually Madison noticed the milk flow was slowly diminishing. Which was good because his stomach was so full as the milk sloshed around that he thought he would burst. Jill broke the seal and extracted the wet milky morsel. Wiping it on her nightie she slipped it away from view. Madison lay in her arms frightened to move his tummy full to capacity. He was certain that if he moved some of it was bound to find its way out of his mouth. Jill looked at her baby as he lay in her arms at her mercy. His mouth was partially open and she could see the residue of milk on his tongue and mixed with his saliva. Some had already found its way over his lips and down his chin, while more was slowly trickling out of the corner of his mouth and down his cheek. She used his bib to mop up the excess.
“My baby’s got such a full tum-tum, hasn’t he?” she cooed affectionately dabbing his tongue causing the young child to smile. “Oh yes he has. Oh yes he has,” she prattled to him. Madison was lapping up the attention. He bent his knees, flexed his bottom and allowed his legs to flop open. Jill watched as a small wet spot appeared in the front of his nappy.
Madison could feel his peenie spasm and a warm wet sensation melt over it and into his nappy. He realised that once it had happened he was wetting himself. He felt no urge, no sudden building of pressure, it just happened and he couldn’t stop it. His bladder now had a mind of its own. Jill wasn’t too concerned. She was sure he would wet again before she dressed him. The most important thing was to wind him then get herself organised.
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Part 23
Carefully she picked him up, cuddled him against her and started the back rubbing and nappy patting routine which worked on him. Madison could feel the milk sloshing around in his tummy and the knots of wind rolling around within it. He wriggled and squirmed.
“Come on angel bring those bubbles up for Mummy, that’s the boy,” Jill cooed. Madison wriggled some more and Jill made sure his bib was under his face in case of any wet releases. Madison pulled his legs up as he did so several loud belches escaped followed several more including a large gurgling sound. Jill heard and knew what it was. “Good boy,” she praised. “What a good baby,” she affirmed. Gently lifting his head she surveyed the liquid damage. A large creamy white liquidy curd was running down his chin and dripping on to his bib. On the bib was a large wet curdy mess. She wiped his face. As she did so another belch produced more in a quicker torrent. Jill caught it in the bib before reaching for the single nappy still on the couch and pushed that under his face to mop up the rest. “My, my what sickie baby,” she softly chided him but Madison knew she wasn’t angry. He knew from previous situations it was just her maternal instinct and the soft reassuring way she had. He smiled sickly at her before another mouthful of milky ooze coursed out of his mouth. This time Jill pushed the bunched nappy under his chin to catch it. Madison laid his head on her shoulder and into the nappy. He could smell the stale vomit and recoiled slightly. He also knew that it was from him. “Is there any more windies in that wee tummy,” cooed Jill. “He’s been such a wee piggy, hasn’t he,” she soothed warmly.
Jill cuddled him. When she was certain that he had settled she lifted him up and stood. Kissing him repeatedly and affectionately on the cheek she spoke softly to him.
“Mummy’s going to put her baby on the floor now so she can get herself dressed, okay.”
Madison nuzzled her and murmured incoherently. Carefully she eased him until was sitting on the floor. She removed his bib and replaced it with a clean yellow one. Then adjusted his nightie before gathering his soiled nappy, the vomit ridden nappy, wet bib and headed for the laundry.
Madison sat on the floor watching her move through the kitchen. He suc-ked his dummy and allowed his fingers to touch the wet patch between his legs. He could feel the after taste of the curdled milk in his mouth. As he suc-ked his pacifier its presence slowly dissipated. He looked down at his waist his hand under his nightie. As he moved his hand his nightie moved revealing the white cloth bunched between his legs and some of the white nappy captured under his legs. He rocked over onto his hands and knees and crawled towards the kitchen his bib dangling from his neck. He could feel his damp nappy caress his bottom and inner thighs. He knew he didn’t have to see this image to know that he looked like a baby.
As he neared the kitchen Jill re-emerged from the laundry and her eyes fell on her baby crawling towards her. He stopped in mid stride looking at her. He giggled and quickened his pace towards her. Jill’s eyes shone as she watched her baby crawl towards her. It was a sight she loved and could remember with fondness when Bethany was at that age. To her the crawling stage was the most delightful.
“Mum…mum…mum…mum…”he chortled excited as he crawled towards her. Jill crouched down and waited for him. “Bub…bub…bub…bub…”
“Come on precious,” she said excitedly holding her arms out to him. “Yes come to Mummy Mummy’s bubby.”
When he arrived she lifted him into the air and cuddled him again. He really loves his cuddles she mused. “Mum…mum…bub…bub,” he chortled. She kissed him and cuddled him fondly before putting him in the floor at her feet. He looked up her. As he did so he burped again and more curd squeezed out behind his dummy shield and down his chin. Jill saw it and immediately removed the infantile device, clean it, wiped his mouth and chin with his bib before slipping his pacifier back into his waiting mouth.
Madison sat on the floor near the table watching her bustle around the sink preparing her own breakfast. He watched her consume two large glasses of water before settling in her chair at the table to consume her breakfast while she carefully scanned the newspaper in case she overlooked anything earlier. Occasionally Jill would cast an eye in his direction just to check on him. She could see him fondling his nappy as it curved around his thigh. He was watching her then occasionally his attention would wander elsewhere all the time his dummy bobbled in his mouth.
Madison crawled closer to her until he was sitting next to the chair. Jill looked down and affectionately caressed his soft wavy hair before resuming her task. He grew bored so he rocked over onto his hands and knees and crawled towards the lounge. Jill glanced in his direction and watched the white padded bottom winking at her as he made his way. He stopped and twisted slightly on one thigh and looked back it her to see if she was taking any notice of him before resuming his journey. Madison reached the toy box on the floor and studied its contents before exploring the many and varied objects. His nappy grew wet and warm again but he ignored it.
-
Greetings all. Just a short post this time. Enjoy.
Part 24
Suddenly Madison felt a pair of sure hands slip under his armpits from behind and before he knew it he was cradled in his Mummy’s arms looking at her smiling face. He closed his legs and bunched them squeezing the wet nappy between his thighs. Jill kissed him on his dummy. He smelt of stale milk, urine and baby powder - the epitome of baby smells.
“Come on darling Mummy needs to dress her baby so we can go out,” she cooed.
Madison shivered at the thought and started to s_ck his dummy vigorously. He could feel his anxiety build. He didn’t want to venture out. In the house he was safe and anonymous. No one knew he was here and that was way he wanted it to remain. He pondered these thoughts as he watched the ceiling change as he was carried down to his nursery. Occasionally he would steal a glance at his new mother unsure of what she intended.
Jill could feel his body tense when she mentioned the trip out of the house but she had a plan for that. Her plan relied on his complete cooperation. She was not going to force him but use guile and stealth to put it into action. She laid him on the changing table and leaned over him.
Madison studied her face. He was apprehensive. Jill kissed him tenderly. She gently folded back his nightie then eased his arms out of the sleeves before discarding it aside. Madison moved his legs and bunched them together squashing the wet cloth between his thighs. She folded back his singlet before reaching for his nappy pins and extracting them from the damp cloth. Lifting his bottom she pulled them away and dropped them into the nappy pail beside the table. Madison heard a dull thud as they hit the plastic receptacle. Very gently she cleaned his bottom with several scented baby wipes before slipping a dry nappy under his upraised derriere. Madison sighed as he was powdered and his nappy snugly pinned closed. When he saw her pick up and open the pink ruffled over-nappy his eyes widened. He grew very anxious and started to wriggle about.
“NO MUMMY! NO MUMMY!” he screeched in alarm and tried to roll over to escape. “NO MUMMY! NO MUMMY!”
Jill was momentarily stunned at his sudden outburst then grabbed him before toppled off the table.
“Madison! Madison baby,” she called in alarm. Madison attempted to scrabble away.
“NO! NO! I BOY! I BOY!” he screeched. “I BOY! NO GIRL! NO GIRL!” he screamed as he struggled under her grasp. She dropped the over-nappy and with some effort she managed to lift his struggling squirming body into her arms. He continued to wriggle and struggle against her firm hold. “NOT GIRL! NOT GIRL! WAAAaaaaaahhaaaaaaaa!” he cried and broke down into paroxysm of sobs and wails.
Oh my god, thought Jill, what’s happened? What have I done? Then it dawned on her the pink frilly over-nappy had precipitated his overt reaction. She realised she had to handle the next part very carefully if she was going to implement her plan; her plan to save him and save herself.
Jill paced the nursery jiggling Madison in her arms trying to console him. He was very distressed and extremely upset. His struggles had subsided but he continued to wail and sob. Finally they began to subside as well.
“Shhhh little one everything’s going to be alright,” she soothed him.
“Not girl,” he sniffled. “Not girl Mummy.”
“Of course you aren’t darling. Mummy knows that. You’re my gorgeous baby boy. You always will be,” she said quietly. “You always will be my gorgeous baby boy, always,” she emphasised over and over again.
Jill slowly walked over the large comfortable chair near his cot. The ‘cuddling chair’ as she liked to think of it. After seating herself she gently manoeuvred Madison until he was cuddled into her. She noted his nappy was wet which didn’t surprise her. She knew from experience that anxious babies meant more wet nappies than normal. Madison rubbed his face over her shoulder inhaling the fragrance of her perfume, the lingering smell of breast milk and the hint of fabric softener and laundry powder in her clothes. His new Mummy always smelt so comforting and reassuring. But in his present state of mind he was not feeling that comfortable or reassured. He didn’t like what she might be trying to do. He wasn’t a girl. He had made that very clear then and the previous evening. He thought he could trust her but that trust did not extend to being turned into a girl. He was a boy and wanted to remain so.
Jill was reflecting on how she was going to handle the next few minutes as she rubbed his back and patted his damp nappy. She knew he was fragile and the last thing she wanted to do was destroy any self-esteem or self-respect he may have left. His father had made a successful job of destroying most of it. Also she didn’t want to lose any trust she may have built up. His trust of her was crucial to their relationship. He had accepted the babying and was clearly suited for the role.
“Madison darling look at Mummy please,” she pleaded softly. He did not respond initially but left his face buried in her shoulder. “Look at Mummy angel,” she softly coaxed. Madison lifted his head and looked at her through tear blurred vision the occasional sob slipping from his throat. “Oh baby,” she cooed when she saw his tear blotched face and red eyes. “Oh baby Mummy’s sorry if she upset her baby boy,” she said softly. Jill could feel a lump come to her throat. He looked to forlorn and lost. She kissed him tenderly and repeatedly on his cheek tasting his salty tears. His eyes still brimmed full of tears.
“Waaaahaawaaaaa,” he broke down again. She felt terrible but knew exactly what she had to do. Quickly she cradled him in her arms and slipped out her breast from her open shirt and rubbed her damp nipple over his lips. Madison took it immediately and nursed quickly. It was something she didn’t want to do but it was essential to calm him. It was an extreme solution to an extreme situation.
Madison gulped what milk was available. He didn’t need it he knew that but in his mind he felt his Mummy wanted to fix things. After all he really wanted his new Mummy despite what had happened. Jill knew there wouldn’t be a lot of milk after his big fill not more than an hour and a half ago but it would be enough. She let down all she could and let him take what he wanted. Gradually his suc-king slowed until he had almost stopped. He was now tonguing her nipple. It was almost, in her mind, that he wanted to hold onto her.
Finally Jill eased the nipple out, wiped it and slipped it away. She expected him to protest but he just lay in her arms. Jill studied him closely. She watched his eyes dart to her and away. She started to caress his fine hair and face. He didn’t flinch. Madison loved her touching him. To him it made him feel wanted and desired. Jill plucked up the courage now that he had settled.
“Madison darling Mummy loves her baby boy,” she whispered each word filled with sincerity. “Do you understand that precious?” she continued. He looked at her and nodded slightly. “Mummy would never hurt you sweetheart, ever,” she whispered. “But Mummy needs to tell you something very important little one, understand?” He nodded. “Good boy,” she crooned. “You’re Mummy’s baby boy aren’t you?” He nodded. “Of course you are sweetie,” she affirmed. “Now, Mummy needs to go to the big shop darling and she is going to take her baby with her, that’s you darling, okay,” she pressed. He nodded uncertainly. “Good boy,” she cooed leaning down and kissing him. Madison lifted himself and immediately Jill cuddled extra closely and extra warmly. He laid his head of her shoulder burying his face in her neck. Jill could feel his warm breath puff on her neck as he breathed rapidly. He was still anxious she noted by the pace of his breathing. She patted his nappy. “Mummy has a plan when she takes her baby out with her later. Mummy wants to show everybody what a beautiful baby she has but she wants to hide her little boy as well,” she explained then paused for quite a while to allow her convoluted description to sink in.
Madison was confused by her comment. How can she want to show him off yet hide him as well? He stirred and slipped his thumb in and began suc-king it. Jill reached over to the small table beside the chair and retrieved one of his dummies.
“Here darling this is better,” she said proffering the pale blue infant soother. Madison opened his mouth and was soon suc-king of the comforting rubber nipple. Jill smiled to herself when she heard the rhythmic slurps emanating from him. When she was sure he was settled again she started. “When you arrived here you were a big boy, weren’t you?”
“Mmmmmmm,” he slurped.
“Now Mummy can’t take a big boy out, can she?” she questioned. He shook his head.
“Me baby Mummy,” he lisped.
Jill chuckled. This comment provided so much relief. “Of course you are angel. You’re Mummy special baby, but if Mummy takes the big boy there could be people looking for that big boy and they might take him back to his Daddy,” she explained. He stiffened.
“No…no…no…” he vehemently replied shaking his head.
“No darling we don’t want that but if Mummy takes a baby boy out people might still see Madison even though he’s an adorable baby because they will still see the boy, understand sweetheart,” she explained slowly and carefully. He looked at her intently but was uncertain where this was leading. Jill waited for some sort of acknowledgement from Madison. “Do you understand what Mummy just said?” she asked.
He looked at her with puzzled expression suc-king on his pacifier. Finally he shook his head.
Jill had a feeling he didn’t. She had to carefully select her words. “You understand that if, say a policeman, saw the big boy they will take him,” she started.
“Yeth Mummy,” he lisped.
“Good boy,” she praised. “Now if the policeman sees a little boy but he still looks like Madison he will say ‘gee I see Madison he should be taken back to his father’ and he will take you…”
“But I little boy Mummy not big…” Madison interjected.
“Of course you are darling but you still look like that big boy even though you are wearing cute little boy clothes and lovely fluffy nap-naps that won’t stop him. Do you see?” she replied patiently. Suddenly a light went on in Madison’s head. She was right. He would still look like the boy in a picture especially his face. Maybe she’s going to put makeup on me like his mother used to do and it used to change her looks. It made her look prettier.
Jill could see the look of realisation cross his face.
“Me not wear stick Mummy,” he lisped.
“Stick!” she replied looking puzzled. “Stick! What do you…?” she trailed off until she realised when he could be referring to. “Oh lipstick,” she laughed. “Oh darling,” she continued hugging him closer. “Babies don’t wear lipstick darling. That’s not what I was talking about. Mummy needs to hide you sweetie.”
“But Mummy me going too,” he lisped his reply.
“Of course you are. I mean Mummy will make you look different so you don’t look like a baby boy,” she tried to explain. Now she was coming to the difficult part. After the way he reacted when he saw the pink ruffled over-nappy this could be a challenge.
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Part 25
Jill settled Madison on her lap and cuddled him closely. She was acutely aware of his wet nappy but that was the least of her worries.
“Madison baby,” she resumed. “Mummy wants you to listen very carefully. What I have to say might be hard for you, understand.” Madison nodded. “Mummy is…Mummy is going to dress you as an adorable baby girl.” There it was out. She felt Madison stiffen. She watched his face and suddenly his bottom lip quivered, his dummy slipped out and he started to cry.
“NO! NO! I’m not a girl,” he wailed. He was heartbroken. She pulled him closer but what surprised her was that he didn’t resist.
“Shhh…shhhh Mummy knows you’re not a girl she’s already said that but we need to be practical. If you look like a boy they will take you. If you don’t look like a boy but look like a girl you will be safe. Mummy promises,” she said softly. She felt she was being harsh but that was the cold hard reality. Jill waited until he tried to regain his composure. She was patient. “Mummy doesn’t want to lose her adorable baby boy. If that happened she would be very sad,” she continued lifting him up into the shoulder hold cuddling him close until his face was buried in her neck then kissed him on the side of his head. “Now Mummy promises that you will only be a baby girl when we are out, but at home you will always be my gorgeous baby boy. The baby boy I’ve always wanted,” she reassured him in a quiet soothing voice.
Madison continued to sniffle. He was upset about the idea of dressing as a baby girl but he could see her logic. He didn’t want to leave her. He was safe and secure with this woman whom he now regarded as his mother.
“No want panties Mummy,” he murmured.
Jill chuckled again. “Of course not darling panties are for big girls and besides they will not fit over your nappies precious. No Mummy promises you will not wear panties, okay?” she probed. He nodded in understanding.
“No want dat,” he spat flinging his arm back and pointing in the general direction of the change table and the discarded pink pilcher. Jill knew what he was referring to.
“Okay sweetheart Mummy promises you won’t wear things like that. Any way I think I have something that will be better,” she confided. “Now you do understand that Mummy is going put a pretty dress on you, don’t you?” she asked. He looked at her his lip quivering but his head nodding in understanding. She was relieved that that hurdle had been crossed but it had taken some small sacrifices along the way.
“Not home,” he lisped looking at her.
“No darling, no dresses when we’re at home,” she promised even though he was already wearing Bethany’s nighties and pilchers. She knew there were shorts, shirts and long pants that were in pastel colours which could pass as boys’ clothes. She knew there were also rompers and onesies as well which he will be wearing but when he was at home those didn’t matter. “Are you ready for Mummy to finish dressing her baby?” she asked. He sighed but she could tell he wasn’t happy but was ready to be compliant. As she stood and headed back to the changing table she asked one more thing. “Maddie darling can you do one thing for Mummy that will make Mummy very happy?” He looked at her dummy bobbling in his mouth.
“Uh-huh,” he nodded.
“Can you show Mummy what an adorable baby you are when we go out?” she asked. “If the people see what a beautiful baby I have they won’t worry about who you really are. If they see a good baby it will make Mummy happy and it will trick other people,” she continued as she laid him on the change table.
“I be dood bubba,” he lisped. Jill smiled and kissed him.
Quickly she changed his wet nappy. Picking up the table restraint she fastened it across his tummy. Madison looked at her in alarm but Jill was quick to reassure him. “It’s okay darling Mummy needs to make sure her baby doesn’t roll off and hurt himself while she gets his clothes,” she explained caressing his legs.
Madison watched as she headed for one of the large cupboards. The restraint felt uncomfortable against his stomach. He reflected on the news she had given him. He was going to wear a dress. He wasn’t happy at the prospect but trusted her assurances. After all what choice did he have? He could see her thinking and understand her logic. He didn’t want to go anywhere near his father. At least, he conceded, he wasn’t going to wear panties. He watched as she gathered something light blue from a hanger then gathered something white from one drawer and several articles from another which he couldn’t see.
Jill returned to her baby and laid the various items of clothing beside the table. She smiled at him as she undid the table restraint. He watched as she picked up the plastic article. Jill gathered his ankles and lifted his nappy covered bottom clear of the table and slid the item in place.
“Mummy found some plastics for her baby,” she said and she pulled them up between his legs and velcroed them firmly across his tummy pulling his nappy snugger. Madison looked down passed his singlet and noticed they were clear plastic and rustled. He looked adorable encased in the plastic cover. Jill didn’t bother to tuck any of the protruding nappy inside the pilcher. She loved seeing flashes of nappy showing.
Madison could see the folds of his nappy and the pink tip of his nappy pins. They were better than those fluffy girlie things he mused. He looked down as she picked up each foot in turn and slipped a white cotton sock followed by a pair of white Mary Jane style shoes which were buckled in place.
“Sit up angel,” she cooed as she helped him into a sitting position.
Madison looked down and could see the white nappy bunched comfortably between his legs encased in their plastic prison. He could even see stray pieces of nappy poking out below them. His Mummy hadn’t bothered to tuck his nappy inside. He blanched when she picked up the pale blue dress. She eased it over his head then guided his arms into the long sleeves. It was a made of brushed cotton with a large white Peter Pan collar, short bodice with an appliqued rabbit of the chest. It was gathered under the bodice and fell to his hips. Madison felt the soft material caress the skin on his arms and shoulders. It felt warm and soft. Jill tied the blue ribbon at his throat and did the small buttons down his back. The fit was amazing.
This dress was one she had bought for Bethany to wear once she grew to school age. At the time of its purchase Jill decided it would be ideal for school until she had the necessary uniform. It fitted him beautifully which gave her a greater appreciation of how small and delicate he was. Once she had tied the ribbons around his wrists she primped and preened the pleats. He looked adorable. Picking up the soft white woollen matinee jacket she eased this up his arms ensuring the sleeves of his dress remained in place then did the three buttons up at the throat. Finally she laid the white collar of the dress outside then tied a pale yellow bib in place. Jill was thrilled with the look.
“Now,” she cooed. “Mummy will do her little ones hair and then he’s all ready to go out with Mummy.” Picking up a hair brush she brushed his waves and curls until they shone falling uniformly down his head. She brushed it back either side of his face and brushed a short fringe in the front. Picking up two hair clips with large white ribbons attached she slid these into either side of his hair just above the temple. She took a pace back to admire her handiwork. Madison looked at her. “Oh my god,” she breathed. “Don’t you look beautiful,” she gushed. Madison certainly didn’t feel beautiful. He felt sure he looked absolutely stupid. “Come to Mummy sweetheart,” she cooed lifting him into her arms. “Let’s have a look in the mirror.”
Jill carried him out of the nursery and into her room. She slipped him on to his feet facing the large mirror on the wardrobe door. Madison gasped and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. Staring back at him was the image of a cute little toddler girl with pretty ribbons in her shining blonde hair, blue dummy bobbling nervously in her mouth, pretty blue brushed cotton dress falling from her shoulders, soft white warm woollen jacket adorning her body, yellow bib spread over her chest and dainty white socks and shoes on her feet. The image which captivated Madison was the bulky nappy showing below the hem of his dress encased in its vinyl cover. The dress came down to mid-thigh leaving a lot of bulky nappy exposed. He could see the soft white folds and pink tipped nappy pins. What surprised him was that he actually looked like a very pretty nappy-dependent toddler girl. Any vestiges of Madison the boy, even the little boy were gone. Maybe his new ‘Mummy’ was right she could ‘hide’ him. He watched as his hand ventured down and touched the hem of his dress. Then the mirror was filled with his Mummy’s image as she crouched down beside him.
Jill was amazed by his image. She felt she had hidden him so well. She slipped her hand up the back of his dress and adjusted his singlet then primped the dress as well. She caressed his padded bottom making the vinyl over-nappy crinkle.
“Don’t you look beautiful?” she whispered as she ran her fingers lightly through his cascading hair. Madison didn’t respond. He was still trying to take in the image. “Mummy’s beautiful little baby girl, aren’t you?” she continued. He still didn’t respond. Immediately he turned and flung his arms around her neck pulling himself into her.
“Mama. Mama,” he chortled. Jill wrapped her arms around him cuddling him tightly one hand resting on his padded rump. Madison laid his head on her shoulder still looking his image now firmly wrapped in his Mummy’s arms. He could see the white nappy showing below the leg of the over-nappy. He had to finally admit to himself that he did look cute.
Jill kissed him tenderly. “Come on Mummy’s gorgeous angel let’s get ready to go,” she said. “Mummy’s not going to use your real name while we are out,” she explained. “You are going to my beautiful Madeleine, alright baby,” she suggested. “Mummy’s very pretty Madeleine.” He looked at her not acknowledging the name change. He knew, again, he had very little choice in the situation. If the name was part of ruse then he had to cope with it. She stood with him in her arms. “Right angel Mummy just needs to get her little girl’s nappy bag then we’ll be away.” And she left her room heading for the kitchen.
When she sat Madison on the kitchen table there was a large pink coloured bag decorated with balloons and dancing fairies sitting waiting. He looked up at her then at the bag. Jill smiled at his innocent face.
“That’s your nappy bag darling,” she explained as he reached out to cling to her. She pulled it alongside him and unzipped it. “See little one Mummy has to be ready for her baby,” she explained as she rummaged through it ensuring she had all she needed and showing him the items.
Jill had packed the bag before Madison woke that morning. It was a task she relished organising and preparing for her baby. She hummed to herself as went through her mental checklist. She packed six nappy changes mainly because that’s how many she used to take for Bethany. She wasn’t sure with Madison although she had noted that he was a frequent wetter. She included a couple of single nappies to act as spill catchers, baby powder, wipes, a couple of moist cloths, two jars of baby food just in case he became overly hungry. She intended to breastfeed him while she was out so these were only a precaution. A change of clothes went in. Jill knew from her experience with Bethany that little ones can be unpredictable and suddenly vomit down clothing or their nappy can leak. She decided to put in a bottle of formula but it was only for an emergency. Jill added a spare dummy, a couple of extra bibs and a bottle of diluted apple juice in case he was thirsty. There, she was satisfied she felt she had every eventuality covered.
Madison still clung to her. She could feel his hands clutching her shirt. She could also feel him quiver slightly. He was nervous that was the only explanation because the house was warm. Zipping up the nappy bag she slung the bag over her one shoulder then did the same to her own bag.
“Right sweetheart Mummy’s ready,” she cooed as she lifted him into the shoulder hold. Madison clutched her tightly gripping her shirt. Carefully Jill headed for the back door locking it behind her.
Standing in the entrance way the full blast of the cold weather hit her. As she readjusted Madison she shivered, at the same time Madison clutched his mother even tighter. The wind cut into him. It whistled up under his dress. He couldn’t understand why girls’ wore such a cold impractical garment. Jill quickly made her way across the yard and into the relative sanctuary of the garage.
Madison was confronted with a large grey metallic coloured station-wagon with large comfortable seats. Even his father’s car wasn’t as flash and modern as this vehicle. Unshouldering the nappy bag Jill opened the left hand rear door and carefully placed her baby in the car seat. With a couple of minor harness adjustments Madison was safely belted in. He wriggled in the infant contraption the crotch strap pressing his nappy into his groin. When she closed the door Madison felt trapped and closed in. His eyes feverishly darted around the car interior and through the windows for any sign of her. The car jolted as the rear door closed before Jill climbed into the driver’s seat. She looked around at her baby and smiled. Madison stared at her his mouth frantically working on the rubber teat. Jill could sense his anxiety.
“It’s alright darling,” she said softly. “I know you are frightened little one but Mummy will protect her baby girl.” Madison shuddered when she used the word ‘girl’ because he wasn’t one.
Carefully Jill reversed the car out of the garage and as the door closed automatically she gunned the engine and they were soon gliding down the shingle driveway which skirted the boundary of the property. After stopping momentarily at the exit to check traffic conditions she swung the car left and sped in the direction of Stanton half an hour’s drive away.
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Part 26.
Madison eyes darted back and forth. He wasn’t taking in the scenery. Every kilometre, as far as he was concerned, was taking him away from his sanctuary into the arms of those waiting to drag him back to his father. By now his nappy was wet. He looked at his ‘mother’ steering the car further and further into unknown danger. His bottom lip started to quiver as the first tears trickled down his cheeks. His dummy slipped out as the first wails erupted. He could hold back any more. It was all too much for him – the girls’ clothes, the shopping trip, everything.
Jill got the shock of her life when Madison burst into tears. She knew why and her heart ached for him. She pulled over to the side of the road and looked back at him. He was a tear streaked mess.
“Shhh it’s alright baby,” she tried to console him but nothing was working
Madison was too upset and worked up to calm down. Jill exited the driver’s seat and climbed in the back beside him. Madison could see her through his tears. Snot was running down his face and his nappy was soaked. He reached out to touch her. Jill felt tears sting her eyes and a lump was forming in her throat. She wanted to comfort her baby so there was only one thing she could do. With nimble fingers she released his seat restraints. She slipped her hands under his armpits.
“Come to Mummy,” she said her voice wavering. With some difficulty she lifted him from the infant seat and into her arms. She cuddled him close to her chest his legs astride her lap and kissed him repeatedly tasting his salty tears. “Mummy’s poor, poor baby. I know, I know little one,” she cooed rocking him. Jill slipped her hand between herself and his sobbed wracked body and managed to slip her fingers inside his pilcher causing it to crackle as she did so. His nappy was soaked. She knew it would be. Kissing him tenderly she prattled softly to him trying to console him. “Mummy’s here my sweet baby.” Jill knew she had to change him. She wasn’t going to leave him in a very wet nappy until she arrived at the shopping centre. That was risking nappy rash and having a factious baby to compound her problems. With difficulty she looked over the back seat into depths of the wagon trying to sight the nappy bag. Still clutching him she managed, with a great deal of effort, to manoeuvre the bag until she had retrieved a nappy, the wipes and powder.
“Alright angel Mummy’s going to change her baby’s wet nap-nap then he’ll feel better,” she cooed. Madison snuggled into her clutching her shirt. Opening the back door she eased her way out laying him on the seat in the process. Madison continued to cry. Swiftly Jill lifted his dress and opened his plastics laying them open on the seat. Madison shifted his legs and bunched them together. Gently she parted his legs and removed his nappy pins. Quickly she pushed his legs up and pulled the wet nappy away and dropped it on the floor. She shivered as she quickly wiped his nappy area. If it was cold for her it would also be cold for him.
Madison whimpered and his crying increased in intensity. “I know angel,” she said softly. “Mummy’s nearly finished.” She slipped the dry nappy in place, powdered him and pinned it closed. The pilchers were domed closed before his dress was pulled down. Moving in she lifted him and slipped into the car again holding him as she closed the door shutting the cold weather out. Madison clutched at her pulling himself into her. Jill shuffled around with her shirt. Madison could smell her milk. “Come on darling Mummy,” she cooed cradling him close. Her damp nipple touched his chin and Madison opened his mouth searching for the comforting morsal. “Here darling,” she whispered as she pushed the nipple passed his parted lips. Madison mewled. Feeling the soft nipple touch his tongue he opened his mouth and suc-ked the nipple in and was rewarded with her maternal nectar. He nursed feverishly even though he didn’t need the milk. “Good baby,” she praised. Madison looked at her through his teary eyes and fixed her with a stare. His Mummy smelt and tasted reassuring. Madison didn’t think he would ever feel like this but the more he had her soft morsel in his mouth the more he wanted her. He slurped and suc-ked. Jill sighed as she felt his firm tugs on her mammary. It was something she loved and enjoyed.
It took nearly ten minutes before she felt he was ready to be put back in his seat so she could recommence the journey. He didn’t mewled when she carefully extracted her nipple. Using his bib to wipe it she slipped it from view and readjusted her bra and shirt. Madison remained cradled in her arms. She caressed his head and cheek stooping to kiss his forehead. In doing so she could smell the milk on his breath.
“Come on darling Mummy put her baby back in his seat so we can keep going,” she explained quietly. He blinked at her but didn’t respond. Madison knew they had to keep heading into the unknown, the uncharted territory which lay in wait. With some effort Madison was placed back in his car seat and belted in. As she was adjusting the restraints he grabbed at her again. Jill smiled at her baby and kissed him again. “It’s going to be okay sweetheart Mummy promises,” she said looking into his brown eyes. His eyes darted across her face he was searching them for any signs of doubt. All he could see was concern and warmth. Jill backed out of the car taking the wet nappy with her. Quickly she deposited it in a plastic bag along with the discarded wipes before wiping her own hands. She slipped in behind the wheel and the car headed on its journey.
Fifteen minutes later she eased the vehicle into the crowded car park of a large shopping complex. Madison’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He had never been to anything so large and expansive. It caused him to temporarily forget about his predicament. Jill decided to park under the complex out of the biting wind. Slowly the car wound its way under the cavernous concrete complex. Jill took one of the ‘parents’ parks near the glass entrance into the shopping precinct. This thrilled her because she was now a mother once again with a beautiful baby in her care.
Jill stopped the car and looked back at her baby, his eyes were everywhere and he was clearly captivated by his surroundings.
“We’re here darling,” she cooed to him affectionately caressing his leg. Madison looked at her and smiled around his dummy.
“Mmmmm….Mum...Mum…baaba...baaba…” he chortled.
“Yes darling you’re Mummy’s bubba,” she beamed.
She exited the car and moved the pushchair from the back and placed his nappy bag in the tray under the infant vehicle before gathering bundle of joy from his car seat. When she opened the back door he beamed at her with outstretched arms. Her nimble fingers released the restraints and she gathered him into her arms closing the door behind him. She kissed him tenderly and readjusted his dress before slipping her fingers inside his nappy. He was wet but not overly. Madison was gazing around the car watching people and cars come and go. He looked at his mother and pointed at a large red vehicle.
“Mmmmmmm…” he chortled. Jill followed his arm and noticed the large bright red four-wheel drive heading towards the exit. She chuckled to herself.
“It’s a big truck isn’t darling,” she agreed. She was taken by his obvious interest in something as simple as that. “Come on angel,” she said giving him a warm cuddle. “Let’s see what’s in the big shop, eh.” Jill adjusted the soft yellow and pink blanket covering the mattress of the push chair and settled Madison inside. He gazed at her his dummy bobbling in his mouth as she adjusted his dress and socks. Jill was fortunate that the infant carriage had an adjustable handle. This enabled her to rearrange it so the seat was facing her then she could keep an eye on her baby.
When she was satisfied Jill pushed the infant carriage towards the large automatic doors. They swished open and she was hit by the sudden warmth from inside.
Madison could feel the smooth ride afforded by the baby carriage. The mattress was soft and even though he should have been embarrassed at riding in such device he ignored it because he was comfortable. He let his eyes wonder around the environment inside. He knew he was wet but that didn’t concern him. He should have been very conscious of his attire but that was pushed to the back of his mind.
His senses were assailed by a myriad of sights, sounds and smells. The many coloured lights captivated him from the flashing neons with their spectrums of colours and hues to the bright signs and models. The piped music was everywhere together with the murmur of many people and the different sounds emanating from the depths of the many shops and boutiques. He didn’t know where to look. He had never been in such a fascinating place, a real Aladdin’s cave. He twisted and turned trying to take in everything.
Jill was amused by his reaction. Gone was the anxious baby of twenty minutes ago and in its place a spellbound and captivated toddler. She watched him twist and wriggle as his eyes followed the sights. She saw him turn on the mattress and kneel against the back of the pushchair to gaze at the sights ahead. She watched his little padded bottom wriggle and his delicate hands clutch the back of the seat. She could see a wet patch on his seat but wasn’t concerned. Madison tried to stand up to see more. Jill stopped the carriage.
“No Madeleine darling,” she quietly admonished him gently grabbing him under the armpits. “Mummy doesn’t her baby girl to fall,” she explained as she turned and reseat him.
“Mmmmmm….Nummmmmm,” he gurgled pointing at some bright shop over her shoulder.
Jill resumed her journey down the concourse. Again Madison twisted around until he was looking ahead. He didn’t want to miss a thing. He felt his bowel cramp but ignored it. As his head followed the direction of sound loud music his nappy started to fill. He grunted involuntarily before looking ahead again. Unconsciously he spread his legs as his nappy filled with soft poop his bladder spasming at the same time. Jill happened to look at when she detected the seat of his nappy expanding and begin the droop. She chuckled to herself. Her baby was filling his nappy and he was totally oblivious to it. Jill suddenly had to swerve to avoid a group of young teens careering down the concourse not looking where they were heading. Madison over balanced with the sudden lurch of the pram landing on his bottom squashing the contents of his nappy. Jill screeched when she saw him topple stopping the pram suddenly to rescue him.
“Ooooo Maddie darling,” she shrieked and pulled him to his feet scowling at the thoughtless actions of the overgrown teenaged oafs. He giggled at her. She smiled at him. “You think that’s funny,” she grinned. Then she wrinkled her nose. “Has my baby got poo-poo naps,” she inquired. Madison looked at her.
“Mama,” he chortled grabbing at her.
“Stand still little one,” she said leaning over him and flipping up his dress. Madison fidgeted. He could feel the stickiness in his nappy. “Stand still honey,” she repeated and pulled back his pilcher and nappy peering down between his pink bottom and the white cloth. Jill could see the creamy-brown mass smeared inside. “Oh bubby you have been busy. What a stinky baby,” she cooed releasing the garments. Sitting him down in the pram she headed for the nearest Parents’ Room.
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This will be my last post for a while. I'm going away. Enjoy!
Part 27
Jill steered the pushchair down the wide corridor to the baby room at the end. As she neared the door it swished open and she entered. It closed behind her. The stale smell of urine, baby powder and air freshener hit her nostrils. It was empty. Jill left the pushchair beside the entrance to a cubicle and retrieved the nappy bag depositing it on the bench within. She moved to the pram. Madison looked up at her as she approached.
“Mum…mum…mum…mum,” he chortled reaching up his arms. “Bub…bub…bub…bub.”
“Oh Mum…Mum to you too,” Jill mimicked lifting him into her arms and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re a stinky bubby that’s what you are,” she chuckled as she laid him on the brown vinyl changing pad. Jill arranged everything she needed to change him. Madison lay contentedly on the pad an audible suc-king could be heard. Jill smiled to herself when she heard the baby reflex suc-king. She carefully folded his dress back over his tummy ready to remove his nappy pins revealing his soft pink stomach. She could see the outline of his ribs. He was so thin and fragile. His tiny waist disappeared into the thick white cloth of his nappy. Madison watched her every move. He shifted his legs and the poos smeared further over his bottom and nappy. Suddenly Jill buried her face in his tummy and blew wind into the skin causing a ‘farting’ noise to be produced. She was blowing ‘raspberries’. A game which Bethany enjoyed and never tired of, she wondered how he would react.
A startled look passed over Madison’s face and he suc-ked in a gulp of air before letting out a shriek causing his pacifier to be dislodged. He wriggled and bucked and squirmed and shrieked as Jill continued to with the same behaviour. Then she stopped and looked at him. He was panting, his eyes sparkled, his face flushed but a clear grin was spread over it. He moved his hands to touch the area of his tummy just recently attacked when Jill caught his hands and attacked again. More shrieking and squealing ensued. Jill could tell by the tone of the screams that he was enjoying the game. She stopped and let his hands go. Again he tried to protect his tummy and again she grabbed them and did the same.
“MUUUMMMMEEEEE!!!” he squealed bucking around on the changing mat. Jill stopped and looked at him. He was in a highly aroused state. She slipped her hands under his tiny shoulders feeling the bones through his clothing, lifted him towards her face and kissed warmly on the nose. Madison giggled at her. “More Mummy. More Mummy,” he giggled. Jill opened her eyes wide then attacked his tummy again producing the same high pitched, vigorous response. He tried to roll away from her only to be rolled back and to have more ‘raspberries’ blown into his already sensitive skin. Again she lifted him and he wrapped his arms around her neck pulling himself in.
“Mum…Mum…Mum…Mum…Mum…Bub…Bub…Bub…Bub,” he chortled with glee. Jill lifted him into her arms and cuddled him. Madison cuddled in wriggling within her embrace totally oblivious to the sticky miss in his nappy.
“Yes gorgeous you’re Mummy’s Bubby, aren’t you?” she said to him affectionately. “Come on little one Mummy change her bubba’s stinky nap-nap,” she suggested depositing him gently back on the vinyl pad. Madison wriggled as Jill refolded his dress over his chest, opened his pilcher then slipped the nappy pins from the cloth. “Lie still sweetheart so Mummy can clean your botty,” she said softly. Madison stopped wriggling. Gingerly Jill pulled down the nappy between his legs to be greeted by a yellowy-brown stick concoction smeared all over his bottom, between his legs and over his little ‘nut-sack’. The smell was pungent but she didn’t bat an eyelid. Sure it was smelly but Bethany had produced worse concoctions. Lifting his legs back she used stray parts of the nappy to wipe most of the goo into the nappy. While holding his ankles she used the ready dampened cloth to clean his bottom.
Madison had found his pacifier and was happily suc-king it. He gurgled in delight as she gently cleaned his bottom. He was passed being embarrassed or self-conscious about the process. His new ‘Mummy’ had cleaned his bottom so many times over the preceding days that it was becoming part of his existence. In fact he found having his bottom cleaned and his groin caressed quite intoxicating. He was sure his little ‘tool’ was starting to thicken as she cleaned it.
Jill smiled to herself as she felt his peenie thicken and pulse slightly. She knew he was becoming aroused by her ministrations but not a sexual way. He was like any baby simply aroused by the intimate touches associated with nappy changes. She had seen it when friends of hers changed their little boys at play group when she took Bethany.
Finally after using a couple of baby wipes she was satisfied he was clean. She slipped the prepared nappy under his bottom coated both with a generous amount of fragrant baby powder before allowing his bottom to rest on the thick cloth. Using some wipes she quickly wiped her hands. She watched in amusement as Madison kicked his legs before allowing them to flop open. Jill took the opportunity to pull the clean infant garment up between his legs pushing them further apart and pin the nappy snugly closed. Madison continued to gurgle. Jill was amazed at how happy he was. The game she had played had had its desired purpose, to relax him and ease him into a more of a baby state. Quickly the pilchers were refastened and his dress pulled down. Jill lifted him onto his feet while she disposed of the offensive nappy and dirty cloth in a plastic bag and discarded the wipes in the rubbish bin before washing her hands again.
Madison stood unsteadily beside her the very thick nappy forcing his legs apart. He grabbed her legs for support. Jill looked down as she repacked the nappy bag.
“Mum…Mum…Mum…” he chortled to her and lifted his arms to her the same way any toddler would who wants their mother to pick them up. Jill zipped up the bag then stooped and lifted him passing an arm under his padded bottom to support. She readjusted his dress and bib, ‘beeped’ his nose before picking up the bag. Madison clung to her. She exited the cubicle. Just as she dropped the nappy bag to the floor, the door to the room whished open and in walked another young mother pushing a stroller with a young boy strapped in. He stared at Madison and Madison reciprocated. He pointed at Madison and grunted turning to his mother. She half turned.
“What do you see darling?” she cooed. “Another bubby,” she queried. The toddler repeated the same response. “That’s a pretty wee girl darling. Her Mummy’s probably just changed her nappy just like I’m going to do with you,” she said sweetly to her child. “Come on Mr Stinky Pritches,” she cooed as she lifted the boy clear of the stroller. The young mother smiled at Jill. “Cute baby,” she stated.
“Thank you,” smiled Jill. “You’ve got a handsome wee man there,” she continued.
The young mother blushed and kissed her little one. “Yes he is then I’m allowed to say that,” she giggled wiping the boys mouth and chin with his bib.
“Course you are,” agreed Jill. “Our babies are always the best,” she went on with laughter in her voice. “The cubicle is free,” she indicated. “Sorry about the odour but I had poopy baby to clean up.”
The young mother laughed. “Oh don’t apologise. Like I always say anywhere and anytime, eh Mr Poopy Britches,” she giggled and lightly jabbed her little boy in the tummy. He squealed and doubled up.
“You’re not wrong about that,” concurred Jill. “But we wouldn’t be without them,” remarked Jill.
The young mother looked at her little boy and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re right about that,” she concurred.
Madison touched her chest and murmured behind his dummy. “I know darling you’re hungry,” she soothed. “Excuse me,” she said to the young mother. “I need to feed her before she starts to get cranky,” she explained and walked towards the bench in the corner.
“You go ahead while I see what little parcel this little minx has left for me,” she laughed as she grabbed her own nappy bag and headed into the cubicle closing the door behind her.
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I'm back. Another instalment for everyone. Enjoy!
Part 28
Jill sat on the bench and deposited Madison on her lap as she did so. She reached into the side pocket of the nappy bag and retrieved the bottle of apple juice. She cradled Madison in her arms, slipped his dummy out and replaced it with the teat. Madison suc-ked the cool liquid immediately. The sweet diluted taste of apple juice filled his mouth and sent a series of intense taste pulses through his senses. He turned his head towards her chest and guzzled on the cool liquid.
Jill was pleased he had taken it. She felt he didn’t need milk at the moment. It was more important to address his thirst.
Madison was happily guzzling the cool juice when the door to the cubicle opened and the young mother emerged guiding her toddler in front of her. He immediately made a bee-line towards Jill and Madison.
“Uuuunnnn,” he chortled pointing at Madison.
His mother had just replaced his nappy bag and looked around.
“Yes sweetie the baby’s having a drink. Come here darling Mummy’s got a drink for you,” she offered. He turned and toddled towards his mother then stopped and turned to look at the pair.
“Bubba,” he murmured.
“Yes dear it’s a bubba, just like you. Come here rascal,” she grinned and grabbed the young boy depositing him into his stroller, taking his pacifier out and pushing the teat of a bottle into his mouth. The small boy took the bottle and sat back in the stroller and could be heard drinking the clear liquid. The mother fiddled with the harness until she was satisfied her little boy was safely restrained.
Jill looked down at Madison. Some of the juice had trickled out the side of his mouth. She careful picked up the corner of his bib and wiped it away.
“She’s a beautiful wee girl,” the young mother gushed. She was standing near Jill looking at Madison. “How old is she?”
“Nearly three,” replied Jill. “Yip she is a beautiful wee thing, aren’t you darling?” she cooed to Madison. “Mind you I’m allowed to say that,” she laughed. The young mother joined her sharing the joke that only mothers understand. She looked across at her little boy. “How old is your wee fellow?” asked Jill.
“Nearly two,” she replied. “He’s a good wee boy, aren’t you darling?” The boy fidgeted and smiled around the teat. “Well I had better get going plenty to do and not much time to do it,” she remarked as she checked her boy.
“I know the feeling,” responded Jill as Madison started suc-king air.
“Take care,” said the young mother sincerely as she manoeuvred the stroller towards the door. It swished open.
“We will,” replied Jill and the young mother left. Jill sat Madison up after removing the bottle and depositing it back in the bag. She wiped his mouth then stood turning him into the front hold. As she deposited the bag on the floor Madison belched. “Oooo good girl,” she cooed then deposited him into the pram before placing the nappy bag under the carriage. They left the Parent Room and head out into the main thoroughfare.
Jill joined the throng as she wended her way through the large shopping complex. Madison reclined in the pram taking in all the sights. He started to twist around to see more. Jill smiled to herself he was clearly captivated by the environment. She watched as he twisted around until he was kneeling gazing out over the back of the pram. His dress had ridden up exposing his plastic covered nappied bottom.
Madison was spellbound by the sights and sounds around him. He had never been in a place so large and so busy. He was mesmerised by the antics of the people. He felt the front of his nappy suddenly grow warm and wet. He ignored it. Suddenly he spied two policemen walking towards them among the crowd. He stiffened and clutched at the pram tightly.
Jill saw him stiffen and his small knuckles grow white. She looked around to see what would have suddenly brought the change in his demeanour. Then she saw the blue uniforms and caps of the two policemen. They were strolling towards them involved in an animated conversation. Her heart jumped and its beat quickened. She knew she had to remain calm if not herself she had to for Madison’s sake.
Madison started to shiver in fright. His heart started to pound. Now he was in trouble. This was surely the end of the line. He could visualize what would happen. They would take him with them and arrest his new ‘mother’. He would be back to his father and god knows what he would do. He could almost feel the fists pounding his small frail body. Madison couldn’t cope with the possible scenario. His lip started to quiver and he slumped into the pram and started to cry.
Jill stopped the pram immediately. He was distressed that was obvious and she knew why. She knew, also, she had to play this very carefully.
“Madeleine darling what’s wrong baby,” she cooed in concern coming to his aid. She lifted him into her arms. Immediately Madison drew himself into her almost as if he was trying hide inside her. He cried and cried. “Oh baby it’s alright Mummy’s got her little girl,” soothed Jill rubbing his back. “Is my baby hungry is that what’s wrong angel?” Jill said softly watching the policemen out of the corner of her eye. One looked in her direction momentarily then back to his partner and continued the conversation. Clutching the quivering body of her baby Jill slowly pushed the pram through the mall.
Jill knew perfectly well that her actions and behaviour towards Madison were criminal. She knew all too well that if the law intervened she would be arrested and charged with kidnapping even though Madison had arrived at her house and she had sheltered him. In the eyes of the law that did not matter. It was her responsibility to return him to the authorities so he could go back to his family. Equally she knew that she could not and would not do that. She had made a solemn promise to Madison to protect him. Protecting him meant keeping him safe and away from those forces likely to injure him. She hitched him up with an arm under his bottom as she pushed the empty pram through the complex.
Madison was slumped against her his face close to her neck. She could hear him frantically suc-king his dummy for all it was worth. From the warmth emanating from his nappy she knew he had wet himself. That was not unexpected given the gravity of the situation. She could feel him clutch at her shirt and pull himself tighter. His crying had subsided to a quiet sniffle.
“It’s okay darling,” she said softly and she walked slowly through the mall. “Mummy’s got you. You’re safe with Mummy angel,” she softly assured him.
The policemen drew level with them then continued on their way without even acknowledging their presence. Sure they would have been seen that was the nature of these people. It was their job to scrutinize people as they patrolled the complex but a mother and baby did not rate on their radar. They were not least bit interested in them. Jill had done the right thing in carrying Madison. It cemented the mother and baby picture.
Madison looked past Jill’s head and watched the two policemen saunter down the concourse. He was relieved that more distance was being put between them and him. He felt Jill pat his bottom in a reassuring way. Madison continued to grip her shirt. He was still unsure and nervous. Just because they were walking away did not necessarily mean they wouldn’t come back. Jill half turned and watched the pair disappear.
“It’s okay sweetie they’re going. See, they didn’t take any notice of you. I told you they wouldn’t see that boy, didn’t I?” she said softly in his ear.
“Ah huh,” he murmured.
“All they saw was a gorgeous baby girl with her Mummy, didn’t they?” she went on.
“’Pose so,” he mumbled.
“Of course they did darling. You continue to behave like a good baby and everything will be fine. I’ve got you. You’re safe with me,” Jill reaffirmed. She had to reinforce his predicament. He was a baby pure and simple. He would always be baby. That’s where his destiny lay. And slowly, ever so slowly Jill was moulding him in that direction. Madison nuzzled her neck. Jill smiled to herself.
Jill continued to walk through the vast shopping complex carrying her baby and pushing the stroller. She headed for a large coffee shop. It was necessary to get out of the ‘public’ and into somewhere more discrete. In addition she needed a break and a chance to gather herself. Inside she was fluttering away, her heart was pounding and she was sweating slightly. It had been a close call. Jill felt the nervous tension just as much as her baby after all her very existence was on the line too. She knew very well that she would have been up for a kidnapping charge regardless of the circ-umstances. Madison was not legally her baby that was the reality.
Jill managed to steer the stroller in the café and up to the counter as these thoughts and realisations bounded through her mind. While Jill waited she rubbed Madison’s in a reassuring manner. She could still feel his small body trembling. She could tell by the warmth radiating from his bottom that he had wet his nappy in fright. That she could understand because after all the situation had been disconcerting for her but it had to be more so for him. His existence would have been seriously under threat had those policemen been really on the prowl for him. They obviously hadn’t and that was in some way comforting.
The customer in front moved on and Jill approached the counter and the mild aged woman behind it. She eyed Jill and Madison up and down then smiled broadly.
“How can I help madam?”
Jill quickly ordered a muffin, two glasses of water and tea for herself. After she paid the bill she hitched Madison up and looked a bit uncomfortable.
“And I was wondering if I could feed my baby in here?” inquired Jill a little tentatively.
“Sure madam. If you need a bottle warmed I can certainly do that, it’s no problem,” the woman responded.
“Oh no it’s not that,” Jill replied looking for the right words. “I mean ‘feed’ her,” she emphasised. The woman looked puzzled momentarily then the implication of Jill’s question hit.
“Oh you mean breast feed,” she asked. Jill nodded. “Of course madam, feel free. In fact if you sit in the nook down the end of the café…” and the woman leaned over the counter and point down to the end of the room to a set of comfortable chairs. “If you go down there and make yourself comfortable I’ll bring everything to you,” she stated. “Any way why should you ask?” she finished.
Jill was relieved and starting patting Madison’s back as he started to nuzzle her neck again and whimper slightly. “Oh I thought I’d ask because I know some places frown on mothers feeding their babies. They say it offends the customers,” she described.
The woman nodded in understanding. “Have no fear here madam. We don’t have a problem with that. Any mother can feed their baby and if anyone complains you direct them to me and I’ll sort them out,” she responded in a caring way. “We have an open door policy here so if your baby needs a feed you feed her,” she said looking affectionately at Madison. She stroked Madison’s hair. “She’s a gorgeous wee thing, isn’t she,” she bubbled. Jill smiled broadly and relieved then looked at her baby.
“Yes she is,” she said softly. Madison whimpered. “It’s alright darling Mummy will give you something soon.”
“That’s right you attend to her and I’ll bring your order over. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve had little ones of my own and when they want a feed they have to have it. Now you go right ahead,” she said in a satisfied and authoritative manner. “Oh and madam if you leave the stroller by the door it’ll be safe and it’ll mean you won’t have to try and negotiate your way passed tables. In fact can I help?” she offered.
Jill looked at the stroller and realised she would need his nappy bag. “Ahhh yes if that’s no trouble,” she asked hopefully.
“No problem. Just a minute…” the woman paused and scanned the area behind her. “Amelia,” she called and a dark haired teenaged girl appeared from a side door.
“Yes Mrs Higginson,” she said as she emerged from the side room and removed her rubber gloves.
“Ah Amelia can you help this mother with her stroller?” she asked. “As you can see she’s got her hands full with her baby,” the lady iterated.
“Yes Mrs Higginson,” the girl replied and bustled around the end of the counter.
The lady turned to Jill. “Just go with Amelia she’ll fix everything then I’ll bring your order down.” Just then Madison mewled again but this time there was some agitation in it.
“I know bubby,” whispered Jill kissing the side of his head. “Ssshhhh…” she soothed as she followed Amelia.
The young café assistant took the stroller and propelled it towards the entrance and an alcove just inside the door.
“Do you need anything?” she inquired of Jill.
“Yes please could you bring her nappy bag it’s in the tray underneath.”
“Certainly madam,” the young girl responded bending down to retrieve the bag. Jill waited patiently. “This way madam,” she directed and walked ahead of Jill down to the comfortable chairs tucked away in the corner. She stood aside as Jill passed her. “She’s a beautiful baby,” the girl remarked sincerely. Jill stopped and rubbed her baby’s back again.
“Do you think so?” she inquired.
“Oh yes she is, she’s gorgeous. How old is she?” the young assistant inquired.
“She’s two,” responded Jill. “Aren’t you precious?” she said quietly to Madison. He whimpered and buried his face further into her shoulder suc-king vigorously on his dummy. “She’s a bit fractious at the moment because she’s hungry,” continued Jill.
The girl nodded. “They’re gorgeous at that age. I’ve got a two year old brother and he’s neat, a bit naughty,” she giggled. “But really cute.” She lifted the nappy bag and placed it in one of the chairs. “I’ll put this here and you make yourself comfortable. Mrs Higginson will be along soon with your order,” she remarked and left.
Jill settled herself in the other comfortable chair shifting her baby until he was settled on her lap. She looked around the café as she slowly undid the buttons of her blouse and unclipped the strap on her nursing bra. The café was certainly busy. It seemed to be quite a popular place. There were different sorts of people either engaged in earnest conversations, pawing over newspapers, talking on cell-phones or tapping away in computers. They seemed to ignore the mother and her baby. She got the occasional glance but nothing of significance.
Jill turned her attention to her baby. He was her priority. She cradled him in her arms turning him towards her chest. Madison mewled some more and let out a squawk which surprised him. He wanted her more than anything.
“I know darling,” Jill cooed to him. “Mummy’s got some milk here angel.” And she removed his pacifier then gathering her breast in one hand and the back of his head with the other she pushed the soft fleshy morsel into his partially open mouth. Immediately Madison whimpered and suc-ked the nipple in. It started to tease his tongue. He suc-ked hard and warm milk filled his mouth which caused him to swallow. His stomach rejoiced.
Jill sighed as her baby started to ingest the milk. She hitched him closer and more comfortable on her lap. She rejoiced as his firm and regular suc-kling sent orgasmic waves through her body. She loved breast feeding. She kept a soft maternal eye on her baby. She could see his jaw working on her breast. She could hear his audible swallows and watch his throat regularly contract. She marvelled as his free hand softly stroked the soft pearly white skin of breast. To her this was the ultimate maternal experience. As far as she was concerned this made her the best mother in the world. She rejoiced in her ability to satisfy her baby.
She removed her hand from behind his head there was no need to hold it. She wasn’t forcing him to feed he was doing it because he wanted too. Jill lovingly shifted a lock of his blond hair away from his eye. She affectionately stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers. Madison’s deep brown eyes focused on her. To Jill it felt as though he was drawing her into him. The occasional blink did not interrupt his gaze. She leaned down and kissed the side of his head. He smiled at her around her nipple. She could see the milk on his lips. Removing her hand she preened the folds of his dress and inspected the white creases and folds of his nappy inside the transparent plastic pilcher. The silver nappy pins winked at her as they worked to hold the cloth together. The pink tips represented safety and security as they hid sharp tip that could pierce anything and latched the pin tightly shut. She stroked his bottom feeling the soft padding through the plastic and warmth radiating from the wet cloth. She knew he was wet. She was interrupted from her wanderings by a voice.
-
Thanks for the encouragement. Here is another part. Enjoy!
Part 29
“Here’s your order madam.” It was the café manageress. She smiled indulgently at Jill and her baby. “She seems quite satisfied,” she remarked as she cast a look at Madison. Jill looked down at her gorgeous baby then back at the woman.
“Yes she’s happy,” she concurred.
“Now everything is here and if you need anything else just ask one of the waitresses,” the woman indicated.
“I will, thank you,” replied Jill.
The woman leaned closer to look at Madison.
“I must say she’s a beautiful wee girl,” she affirmed. There was a warmth and caring tone to her voice. Jill’s chest swelled. The woman reached down and stroked Madison’s soft blonde hair. He ignored her. He should have been frightened but he was in his mother’s arms and this other woman seemed to pose no threat. “I’ll leave you to it,” she said quietly.
Madison continued to fill his tummy. Although he didn’t think he was hungry he was surprised how hungry he was as the milk hit his stomach. He began to relax and let the orgasmic action of the nipple in his mouth lull him into a trance. He could hear Jill’s hearting beat and felt the warmth of her body. He snuggled in further enjoying the firmness and security of her embrace. As he relaxed more warm pee soaked into his nappy. It was so easy now. There was no thought required, no urge to answer when his bladder had enough it emptied on its own accord. Madison didn’t mind wet nappies. They still remained warm long after they were wet. He was beginning to accept being in poopy nappies now too.
Jill slowly drank the water and nibbled on her muffin as her baby nursed. She could feel him pull more firmly on her nipple which meant the milk flow was diminishing. She carefully removed the nipple, wiped it on his bib before tucking her breast securely out of sight. She looked around the café. Nobody appeared to be paying her any attention. She sat Madison up and started to rub his back. At the same time she repeatedly kissed his head each time breathing in the aroma of baby shampoo. Madison squirmed and belched.
“Good girl,” she cooed to him wiping his mouth. She moved him into the front hold ensuring his bib was over her shoulder. He burped again. “Oh what a good bubby,” she murmured. Madison shuffled in her embrace in doing so his legs parted as he slipped down to lay his head on her shoulder. Jill patted his bottom then using her free hand slipped it between his legs. Madison automatically parted his legs more and poked his bottom out slightly to allow her access. She kissed the side of his cheek acknowledging his gesture. Carefully she slipped open two of the side domes to his pilcher and slipped her hand between his legs and felt his nappy. He was very wet. Then she slid her hand over the wet cloth and kneaded his bottom checking for poop. She knew he wasn’t poopy but she liked to check. Anyway he needed to get used to her doing that. It was part of looking after a baby. “Just a wet baby,” she whispered to him. He murmured. Slipping her hand out Jill closed the pilcher and adjusted his dress.
Jill carefully cradled him in her other arm. Before removing her breast she gathered a cool wipe from the restaurant tray to wipe her hand of his pee.
He lay passively in her arm watching her clean her hand. The breast milk lay nicely in his tummy. Something about her nappy check stirred something inside him. Suddenly he had the urge to poop. He spread his legs slightly and gaze into her eyes and pushed.
Jill watched him closely as she cleaned her hand. The fixated stare and the subtle movement of his legs and bottom spelt one thing and one thing only – he was going to fill his nappy. Her hand slipped under his dress and caressed his tummy.
“Good girl,” she cooed. To Madison it was the way it was said almost like an encouragement, an acknowledgement for his need, a recognition of his body’s desire. He pushed and as he did so he grunted his face growing slightly red and his bowel obeyed and evacuated the warm sticky ooze into his nappy. Once it started flowing Madison relaxed and it oozed out between his butt-cheeks flowing in a steady motion like lava wending its way methodically down a slope. Jill smiled at him alleviating his worry and condoning his baby action. She leaned down to kiss his forehead. “That’s a good baby,” she murmured.
Madison ignored the mass in his nappy and turned towards her chest. He was now signalling to her that he wanted what she had behind her blouse. Carefully Jill extracted her full mammary and teased to dripping morsel over his lips. Madison took it straight away and was happily adding to the milk in his tummy.
When Jill saw he was nursing contentedly she finished her tea then shifted his leg, flicked open a dome on his pilcher and eased the nappy away from the back his thigh peering into the void. She could see the yellowy-brown mess coating his bottom and nappy. She smiled to herself. ‘That’s my baby,’ she said to herself.
Mrs Higginson reappeared a few minutes later.
“How’s everything going dear?” she asked softly.
Jill looked at her. “Everything is great,” she said softly.
“How’s the wee one?” the woman inquired.
Jill looked adoringly at her baby. “She getting sleepy,” she acknowledged. “And she must have had enough because she’s just filled her nappy,’ she giggled.
Mrs Higginson chuckled as well. “I always tell my daughter if you get a full nappy during a feed the baby is thriving and getting plenty,” she admitted. “You know where the baby change facility is dear,” she asked.
Jill nodded. “Yes I do, thanks.”
“Can I get you anything else?” the woman asked as she placed the used dishes on the tray.
“No thank you. You’ve been so kind,” said Jill in full sincerity.
“Like I said earlier dear it is no problem all part of our service. Just let me know when you leave and I’ll get Amelia to help,” she said and left the table.
By this time Madison was in a light sleep. His suc-kling had slowly diminished. Jill slipped the nipple from his mouth, wiped it and tucked it inside her bra. She slipped his pacifier in his mouth then closed the buttons on her blouse.
She eased her arms under both his armpits and lifted him into her arms rising from the chair as she did so.
“Come on my sweet baby Mummy change your nappy then we’ll see about the rest of the shopping,” she said softly. Jill didn’t know why she said it because Madison was now asleep and didn’t murmur or stir when she cuddled him against her chest and headed out of the café.
-
Part 30
The shopping was the easiest part. With her baby tucked up in the pram she was able to amble around the department store and gather the items she needed. She would occasionally cast a maternal eye in his direction but Madison slept.
Soon she was able to carefully stash the shopping bags under the pram and head down the Mall. She was pleased she was able to get the items she so needed – the nappy liners, nursing pads, two new nursing bras, a dozen new nappies of his own, and some adorable three piece pyjama sets – jacket, matching pilcher and footed crawlers. Her selection of yellow, blue and lavender sets really made her day. They weren’t really girlie she reasoned with herself, although they came from the baby girl section. The colours could easily be used on a baby boy – her baby boy in particular.
In the back of her mind she was mindful of his dirty nappy. She couldn’t leave him in it for too long. The last thing she wanted was a fractious baby with bad nappy rash.
She quickly headed to the Parents’ Room she had used earlier after finishing her shopping. Jill was relieved to find it unoccupied. She locked the door on entering and set about changing his nappy. She turned him on his back ready to pick him up to lay him on the changing bench but stopped. She didn’t want to disturb his slumber he looked so peaceful and angelic. Instead she decided to change him while he lay in the pram.
Although she might be cramped for room, she reasoned, this tactic was in fact no different than changing him in his crib. She readied everything she needed including a nappy liner which had been spread inside the clean nappy.
Slowly and methodically she lighted his dress and undomed his pilcher laying it flat. This gave her a protective waterproof barrier between his very wet nappy and the pram mattress. She smiled to herself at the sight of his drenched nappy.
“You’ve had a wonderful time, haven’t you angel,” she whispered mainly for her ears. Madison stirred and shifted his legs bunching them together squeezing the wet cloth between them. Jill chuckled to herself. Carefully she extracted the nappy pins and opened the wet garment. The pungent smell of poop and urine smacked her nostrils. She didn’t recoil. It was something she was used to. Using the damp front of the nappy she wiped most of the faecal matter into the nappy and then with a careful and measured upward wipe gathered the rest before balling it up and placing it on the floor. Carefully gathering his ankles she washed his bottom with a damp cloth, dropping that to the floor before placing the clean dry soft nappy under his upturned bottom. Gently she settled it on the soft mound before dousing his whole nappy area in baby powder and quickly and deftly pinning it in place. The pilchers were then domed back in place before his dress was pulled down. There! He was changed and he barely stirred from his sleep.
Jill quickly tidied everything away, washed her hands before leaving the room. She commenced her slow methodical walk around the Mall casually window shopping. Occasionally she would glance at the small supine form in the pram before her. Her baby was on full show and nobody had any inkling of what lay underneath and who he really was. On the surface the baby girl lay – peaceful, unaware, innocent and trusting. That was the key to it of course – the trust. She was acutely aware that Madison had put his complete and total trust in her and she had not let him down. It was a confidence builder for him but also one for her. As far as Jill was concerned he had played his part almost flawlessly. And she had delivered on completing the deception. He needed the confidence to play the part of a baby and be a baby in every situation because that was the cornerstone to his continued existence and ultimate freedom from his past life. Jill needed the confidence to continue with her plan for him - to shape its interior, exterior and structure. He gave her that confidence and she reciprocated. Jill, also, knew she had to be very careful in her planning and try to cover every eventuality, if that was possible, cover every bend and swerve on their combined journey. She wanted a baby. He wanted a mother. She needed a baby. He needed a mother. Her greatest desire was to be the best mother. His greatest desire was to be a…well Jill didn’t know that answer but every indication she received from Madison pointed to his desire to be a baby. She may have tricked him initially but now he was fully immersing himself. Jill had read somewhere – “Give me the child at seven and I’ll give you the man,” but in her case it was “Give me the child at ten and I’ll give you the baby!” A slow and satisfied smile crept across her mouth, around her eyes and over her body. Everything was shaping up well, very well indeed.
Of course there was one nagging doubt, one dark cloud on the horizon – when would the authorities be notified. When would his drunken father rouse himself from his alcoholic fog and think momentarily about his son, his well-being, and his whereabouts? How much time was there? What were the warning signs? How might the whole situation explode? And what repercussions would there be? Would he do anything at all? Would he care or notice his son’s absence? Somehow Jill doubted this. It was just a feeling, a notion, a vague apparition. Time would tell. There was no sense dwelling on it she mused. Doing so would endanger his existence and hers. She had to play each hand that was dealt and see which cards were played so counter strategies could be engaged. Again, time would tell…
When she had seen enough Jill headed for the underground car park. When the automatic doors opened she was hit by a sudden cool gust of air. The day had definitely not improved.
After unloading everything into the large cavernous luggage area of the station-wagon she very gently and ever so carefully lifted her sleeping baby out of the pram and into his car seat. He stirred and whimpered briefly flicking his eyes open and staring unseeing at her before closing them. She buckled him in, closed the back door then placed the folded stroller in the luggage compartment. Within a few minutes she had slowly cleared the car park and was speeding towards home.
Occasionally she glanced at her sleeping baby and smiled. Yes, it had been a successful outing, a bit stressful at the start and appearance of the policemen had not helped but overall a good day. Her decision to take him out in public had been justified. He had passed her test. He had behaved like a baby girl and everyone who came in contact with them had been fooled. Certainly the attire she had dressed him in had contributed greatly to this guise. But he had played a part himself. He acted like a baby, performed like a baby and was a baby. This part of her plan had been a success she just hoped the rest would be.
-
Part 31
Jill nosed the large grey station wagon into the garage. She glanced into the back. Madison was still asleep in his car seat. Leaving him in the car she was able to get everything inside before turning her attention to him. Madison stirred as she lifted him from his car seat. He moaned. She adjusted him in her arms. She snaked her fingers into the seat of his nappy. He was wet but not overly. Quickly she carried him through the cool afternoon and inside to the warm haven of the house. As she walked through the kitchen she was able to ease the woollen jacket off him and start undoing the buttons on the back of the dress. By the time she entered the nursery she was able to carefully slip the dress over his padded bottom and down his legs. Jill smiled to herself. She had lost count of the number of times she had done the same for Bethany. She almost considered herself an expert at undressing sleeping babies. In several swift movements she was able to remove his shoes and socks then lay the sleeping baby in the crib. Carefully she covered him. Caressing his head she planted a kiss on his head.
“Sleep peacefully little one,” she whispered then noiselessly raised the side of the crib, checked to make sure the monitor was on then stole from the room. She had no idea how long he would continue to slumber.
Jill bustled around the lounge and kitchen sorting out food for Madison and folding nappies. She kept an ear coc-ked to the monitor. Part way through the afternoon the phone rang. Jill intercepted it quickly before its piercing ring disturbed her baby. It was a friend from the local pre-school, Lorie.
She hadn’t heard from Lorie since Bethany’s funeral. She had been very supportive of Jill through her grief. Jill was acutely aware that she was busy with Tyler who was the same age as Bethany and her little girl Kate who was probably eighteen months old.
The chat centred round the exploits of Lorie’s two children. When the conversation swung around to Jill and what was happening for her she was caught in two minds whether or not to reveal the presence of Madison. She decided to take the ‘bull by the horns’ and test the waters for a reaction from Lorie. Jill mentioned that she was looking after her cousin’s little boy Madison. Jill was in two minds as to whether she would reveal Madison was a boy or keep to the girl subterfuge. If Madison remained with her long term, which was her intention, the sudden gender switch could be hard to explain away. So now Jill was sticking her neck out. She hoped the revelation would not come back to bite her. Lorie was quiet to start with. Jill went onto explain that her cousin had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and had asked Jill to look after the toddler.
“A toddler Jill. How old?” Lorie inquired her voice sounding brighter.
“Two,” replied Jill her heart in her mouth knowing she was lying.
“Oh just a bit older than Kate,” she remarked. “How long have you had him?”
“Just over three weeks,” Jill lied. “But I’ve got him settled into a routine. The only problem is that his mother was still feeding him when she handed him over so I’ve had to start lactating so I can continue. I asked the doctor what to do and his advice was to lactate and then gradually wean him. He said that it is not fair on a little one to just make him go cold turkey,” Jill explained.
“Good grief that must have been difficult to start with,” sympathised Lorie. “But you fed Bethany didn’t you?”
“Yes that’s why the doctor suggested I start because it would be easier for me to go down that path having done it before.”
“Yeah well I’ve heard that,” said Lorie. “I’ve got another friend who managed to do that with a foster baby she took in,” continued Lorie. Jill listened with interest. She hoped her story was convincing because if she could deceive Lorie then she could deceive anyone. “I suppose the boy’s not toilet trained either?” she inquired.
“Heavens no,” replied Jill. “Far from it. But that’s okay nappy changing is the least of my worries.”
“So how long have you got him?”
“At this stage I don’t know,” remarked Jill. “He can’t go back to his
mother she’s too sick. And his father is nowhere to be seen. My cousin’s parents do not keep good health and are not in a financial state to care for him and his mother has no other siblings so I’m it,” explained Jill.
“Well I suppose it will be nice to have a little one in the house again after Bethany,” remarked Lorie.
“Yes it is. I know I missed Bethany but I didn’t think I’d miss having a baby but once he arrived I realised that I did. It’s wonderful at the moment. He gives me something to do and I suppose he allows me to get over the passing of Bethany. Not that will ever happen but I suppose he eases the pain,” described Jill.
“Yeah well I suppose that’s true. Anyway the reason for my call is quite simple. What about coffee tomorrow? I’ve felt guilty about not contacting you after the funeral but you know how it is with little ones…” Lorie’s voice trailed off.
“Yeah I know or at least I knew. Yes, coffee would be lovely Lorie. It’ll be so nice to catch up properly and see little Kate and Tyler again. I bet they’re mushrooming.”
“They sure are. Kate’s beginning to walk and Tyler’s really trying to be the helpful little man. How about 11 o’clock?” suggested Lorie. “At the Murphy’s Coffee Emporium in the Scranton Mall there’s a playground nearby so the children can play.”
“That’s sounds marvellous,” replied Jill. Just then she heard a cry over the monitor. “Look I’ve got to go Madison’s just woken up.”
“Sure,” said Lorie. “Look forward to seeing you and the baby tomorrow, bye.”
“Bye,” said Jill and hung up. She stood motionless beside the telephone. Her heart palpitating. Had she just signed Madison’s death warrant? Would he be recognised this time? What had she let herself in for? Up until now Jill had been congratulating herself on how careful she had been and her last action could unravel everything. She realised she had now boxed herself in and had to find a way out so Madison’s existence could be preserved and her existence assured. What could she do? A simple phone to call to cancel the date was, of course, logical but that might arouse Lorie’s suspicion. She could feign an excuse like Madison was ill but she knew that Lorie would persist and she’d have to commit to another date. She had to think and ponder what she could do. She had tonight to come up with a solution. Suddenly another call from Madison aroused her from her dilemma. Jill sighed and headed towards the nursery.
-
Part 32
Madison awoke and his eyes focused on the white bars of the crib, his crib. His pacifier had slipped out and he lifted his head to look for it. He found it under his chest so immediately put it back in his mouth. He laid his head on the mattress. He wriggled his bottom and felt the wet nappy slip over his skin. Rolling over onto his back his hand went down to the thick cloth bunched between his legs. Pressing the wet cloth into his groin he sighed. It was strange but the wet cloth was reassuring. Madison never in his wildest dreams would have thought that he would like being in nappies. Images of his previous bedwetting in his ‘former life’ swam before him. He cringed at his father’s assaults but smiled as visions of his mother’s sweet face swirled before him. He could almost feel her reassuring fingers as she checked his nappy. He smiled to himself when he remembered how she used to nappy him when his father was away. They were good times never to be repeated, repeated that is until now.
Madison flexed his legs pressing the wet nappy further into his crotch. As he released the cloth he felt his peenie spasm and warm pee trickled down between his legs and under his bottom to soak into the already wet thirsty cloth. Madison didn’t have to think about or physically open his bladder. It obliged all by itself.
As he surveyed the scene before him he reflected on the trip to the shopping centre. He shuddered when he recalled seeing the policemen, yet was surprised they hadn’t bothered with him. Everything Jill had told him turned out to be true. Sure, he was suspicious of her opinion and certainly upset at how she had dressed him as a baby girl yet the ploy worked. Those who looked at him certainly did not see a nearly ten year old Madison. They readily acknowledged the infant and the woman with him as his mother. He had to admit the disguise worked. Once he had got over the initial trauma of the trip, being physically present in the building but once events unfolded he actually felt safe. Maybe her ruse was going to work. He shivered at the thought of dressing in more girls’ clothes but he knew it was a small price to pay in trying to deceive everyone after all he certainly did not want to go back to his abusive father. Life with Jill was just fine at the moment. If it entailed fulltime babying and regime of nappies, breastfeeds and bibs then he could cope. It was a small price to pay. Anyway she was just like his mother in many respects and he missed her most of all.
He scrambled to his knees then sank back on his soggy bottom. Looking around he found the teddy Jill had left in his crib. He reached for and hugged it. Madison suddenly started passing wind. Almost as an automatic response he lifted his bottom slightly off the mattress, clutched a bar of his crib using his spare hand to steady himself. He grunted and pushed. He smiled to himself as he felt the small void created between his wet bottom and the soggy cloth filled with a soft mushy deposit. He felt it ooze out of its own accord. Madison realised that he liked pooping his nappy. He pushed some more then sank back onto his bottom squeezing the offensive product between himself and the nappy. He was now one wet and smelly baby.
He realised he wanted his ‘Mummy’.
“Muummeee,” he called. “Muuummmeee…eeee!” he wailed this time. He sounded like a distressed infant. “Maaaaammmmaaaaa!”
Jill quickly dashed toward the nursery and pushed the door open. Her baby was sitting up his crib and judging by the aroma in the room he had a dirty nappy.
Madison saw her immediately, dropped his teddy, grabbed the side of the crib and hauled himself to his feet. His nappy drooped at the same time and the sticky ooze slithered from his bottom.
“Mummy! Mummy!” he called excitedly extending his arms to her.
“Hello darling,” she cooed as she draped herself over his small body and embraced him. “My, what a big sleep you had,” she continued. The aroma of the mess in his pants was strong. Madison felt her pull the back of his nappy open. He was used to it. Jill saw the mess for herself. “Gosh bubby you have been a busy baby, again” she chuckled. She kissed him tenderly on his head. That was the third time today she mused. Madison gazed up at her with adoration in his eyes.
“Pooth Mummy,” he squeaked trying to look innocent.
Jill laughed. “I think I know that darling. Mummy can smell it and she saw it but you’re a clever baby for telling me.” Madison beamed.
Dropping the side of the crib Madison fell into her arms. Jill lifted out of the crib and laid him on the changing table. Jill was surprised at how happy Madison appeared to be.
“My you’re a happy wee chappy,” she cooed to him as she lifted his shirt out of the way and started opening his pilcher. Madison went into a trance as Jill’s sure methodical movements lulled him. She was careful and tender when cleaning his bottom. There was no look of recrimination in her face, no look of scorn, no judgemental behaviour, just the pure and utter concern and concentration of a mother looking after her baby’s needs. Madison giggled and chortled as Jill rubbed soothing and sweet smelling baby lotion over his bottom and boyhood. He felt his little peenie stiffen. Jill glance at it knowingly and smiled indulgently. She was pleased he loved his nappy change. Lifting his ankles she slipped a fresh nappy in place. She dusted him lightly with baby powder mixing its aroma with that of the oil. Madison felt the oil slither between his bum-cheeks. He sighed when Jill tightly pinned his nappy in place. “There darling, does that feel better for my baby?” she cooed. Madison all smiles. Jill domed his pilcher in place then picked the wriggling little boy into her arms. “Would bubby like a drink?” she cooed to him as she carried him from the nursery. Madison jiggled excitedly in her arms at the thought of more food.
Jill carried her baby over to the large comfortable chair near the window. She adjusted Madison until he was cradled in here arms. Madison looked at her expectantly. He knew what was coming next. For some unexplained reason he was excited by the prospect of gathering her warm nipple in his mouth and savouring her milky nectar. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way after all he was nearly ten, yet at that moment what did it matter. He watched in anticipation as Jill undid the buttons to her shirt, remove her bra and expose her gleaming mammary. Automatically Madison turned his mouth open ready for the soft morsel. He felt it touch his tongue, closed his mouth suc-ked for all he was worth. He gurgled in delight as the warm milk hit his mouth and dribbled his throat.
Jill smiled indulgently. She was thrilled now that Madison was eagerly and happily taking her breast milk. As far as she was concerned this meant one thing and one thing only – Jill was the perfect mother, nourishing her hungry infant, her baby. As Madison nursed contentedly Jill started singing sweetly to him. Madison let the soft words wash over him. Never in his whole life had he ever felt so wanted, so loved, so desired, so secure and so happy. But there was still one problem niggling and nagging at Jill’s conscience; what was she going to do with Madison tomorrow? Now that she had now ‘exposed’ him to the world how was she going to protect him so he wouldn’t be obvious? So he wouldn’t stand out as 10 year old Madison.
As Madison suc-kled Jill pondered a solution. She could feel his firm and consistent tug on her nipple. She watched as his small hand pawed at her breast. He was suc-king harder and harder, it was then that Jill realised that while she had let her mind drift away her milk supply had dwindled. She mentally stirred herself and slipped a finger between his lips and her creamy white mammary. She eased the nipple. Much to her surprise Madison started to mewl.
“It’s alright little one Mummy’s got more,” she soothed as she sat him up and manoeuvred him until he was cradled in her other arms and facing the other breast. Jill adjusted her bra to accommodate the empty bosom and unclipped the other cup. As her breast was exposed Madison started mouthing the soft white skin. “Here darling,” she cooed gathering her breast and rubbing the wet milky nipple over his lips. Madison mewled in delight as his lips cupped her areola and suc-ked the warm soft morsel into his grateful mouth. His body shuddered with relief as milk hit his tongue. “That’s it precious. Good baby,” she praised.
Jill allowed her mind to shift to her pressing dilemma again. Suddenly she remembered that she had the ideal clothing for Madison. It was a pair of beige coloured bib-front long trousers that she had purchased for Bethany intending to use them once she grew to school age. They’d fit him perfectly she thought. She surveyed his body. Yes, they’d fit him exactly. She even believed they would have enough room to accommodate his nappies. Okay, beige was a boys’ colour at a pinch yet if she combined them with a yellow t-shirt, light brown knitted cardigan she had been given by old Mrs Turnbull from down the road, which Jill deemed not really girlie enough for her Bethany, then add a pair of white shoes and a yellow woollen hat with the white pom-pom, the guise might just work. If he was bundled up in this outfit and his white dummy was added which covered his whole mouth he would almost be unrecognisable. There was one drawback however. The trousers were not really designed for a toddler. Nappy changing could be a challenge. After further thought Jill realised that given her sewing skills she was sure she could alter the garment to allow for efficient and effective nappy changing. She smiled to herself as she allowed her mind to switch its attention to Madison. He had nearly finished nursing.
-
Part 33
The rest of the afternoon passed quietly. Jill found the trousers and also located some beige coloured buttons which she could sew into the inside leg seams of the clothing. Madison played happily on the lounge floor crawling around after the toys and balls he had at his disposal. As she watched him on the odd occasion she smiled to herself. There certainly wasn’t a big boy crawling around the floor. She was amazed at how he had transformed into an endearing toddler. Twice Jill changed his nappy. He was happy and compliant as she laid him on the floor and efficiently changed him. He cooed and gurgled with delight each time it happened. The realisation dawned on Jill that he liked having his nappy changed.
By the time it came for dinner she had amassed everything she needed to set her plan into action. As soon as she had Madison in his crib the sewing machine would fly into action.
After Jill had spoon fed a bowl of mashed vegetables into Madison preparations were made for his bath. Outside breasting feeding and changing his nappy, this was another task Jill enjoyed. It was another opportunity to strengthen the bond with her baby boy.
Jill cleaned his face and lifted the boy out of the high chair. She noticed as she put her hand under his bottom that he was wet again. She put him on his feet and took his hand.
“Come on bubby,” she said in a sing-song voice. “Bath time.” Taking his hand mother and toddler headed for the bathroom.
As Jill stirred the bubble bath into a soapy lather Madison tried to squeeze his small thin body in between his ‘mother’ and the bath tub. Jill smiled to herself and let him slip in. She could feel his frail body against hers and smell his hair. She could hear the rhythmic slurp as he worked on the nipple of his pacifier. Madison tried to reach the swirling foam but was restrained by Jill fearing he might over balance. He turned around and pressed himself against her chest and stomach. Jill kissed the top of his head affectionately as she watched the bath fill and the steam float above the surface. Madison looked up at his ‘mother’ and began to chortle around his dummy. This noise distracted Jill away from the water. She wrapped one arm around him.
“Mmmmm Mummy’s gorgeous baby,” she murmured to him. Madison smiled adoringly at her. As far as he was concerned she was the dearest and most important thing in his life. He simply adored her. His hand reached up and touched her breast. Jill smiled indulgingly at him but ignored his behaviour. She wanted to see what he would do. It wasn’t really a test per se, but she wanted to see if his actions truly reflected his developing baby behaviour. She remembered Bethany doing this several times and managing to get to her breast to suc-kle. She also recalled seeing other toddlers do it with their mothers when at play group with Bethany.
Madison allowed his dummy to slip from his mouth. It fell to the floor with a clatter. He started mouthing her shirt leaving wet patches. She felt and watched as he pawed at her shirt until the buttons popped open. He used his face to burrow inside her shirt only to be met by her bra. Madison could smell the milk. It was so enticing. He clutched at the bra pushing it up until the breast flopped free. His grateful mouth latched onto the wet nipple and he started suc-kling the warm milk. Jill turned the taps off while Madison slurped and suc-ked. She could feel his little body twitching and squirming as he took more of her breast. Jill quickly dried her free hand and placed it gently on the back of his head and started stroking his soft blonde hair. Madison mewled and suc-ked. He tried to climb up her so Jill placed her hand on his thickly nappied bottom and gave him a boost. Slowly she lifted his small body until it was cradled in her arms. Madison continued to nurse.
While he nursed she slowly undid his pilcher freeing his wet nappy and dropped it to the floor. She managed to untie his bib and let it fall. Carefully she worked his arms inside his shirt and eased the garment up his body until it was bunched around his neck. She extracted the nipple and quickly slipped the shirt over his head. Madison whimpered but once free he eagerly gathered the nipple and continued to nurse. Jill stood with her semi naked baby still in her arms clad only in a white wet nappy. She watched him nurse. Madison’s action had confirmed fully in her mind that he had crossed over completely. As far as she was concerned his action had discarded his ten year old psyche and now he was in the full grip of his baby alter-ego. As far as she was concerned he was now an eighteen month baby and from here on in there would be no turning back.
Madison wriggled and squirmed in her arms. She let him nurse for a few more minutes before slipping a finger into the corner of his mouth to break the seal. His mouth came free and her nipple slipped out. Madison mewled again.
“No more angel,” she cooed. “It’s bath time my sweet baby. You can have some more after your bath,” she explained. He continued to whimper but he really had no choice. With one hand she unpinned his nappy and pulled the wet cloth away from his bottom and plonked him into the warm water.
After picking up the discarded baby clothing and placing them all in the nappy pail she proceeded to wash her infant.
Jill gave Madison a thorough bath paying particular attention to his bottom and nappy area. She felt his hair didn’t need a wash so once she was satisfied he was lifted from the warm soapy water, wrapped in a towel and carried out to the kitchen and laid on the table.
Opening the towel she thoroughly dried his small frail body. As she wiped every square centimetre she inspected his body for the bruising which had been so prevalent when he first arrived. She was pleased to see that they were fading and had changed colour to a dull yellow. His nappy rash had gone and other scratches and scraps had healed. The healing of these physical injuries was important in her mind. Now her focus would be on trying to heal his psychological and emotional wounds which she knew could possibly be deep and maybe long lasting.
Finally his body was dry. Madison lay before her twitching and squirming just like a baby. She leaned over his naked form and placed her hands under his head. He looked at her his eyes scanning and rolling over the surface of her face. She could feel his legs kicking and bottom wriggle under her stare. Jill kissed his forehead. Madison swallowed and allowed his fingers to touch and caress her face. He stared cooing at her. No sentence or words just soft satisfying sounds which appeared to slid from inside his soul. Jill could tell he was happy and content.
“Is my baby happy?” she whispered at long last.
He stared at her. “Ah huh,” he gurgled.
She smiled at him. “That’s good baby,” she replied very sincerely.
Releasing her hands she reached over and picked up a pink pacifier. Madison’s mouth was open and moving in towards it direction before it was near him. Jill slipped the infant soother in and he started suc-king contentedly.
Jill coated his body in baby powder and caressed it over his skin. Gathering his ankles she slipped his night nappy in place, added more powder before pinning the bulky garment closed. This was then covered with a pair of pink over-naps which were domed in placed. Madison couldn’t see these properly because he was engrossed gurgling and cooing at his ‘mother’, but the seat of them was cover in white lacy ruffles. They were the same type of nappy cover you would use on a baby girl. Jill wasn’t concerned about what sex they were for. As far as she was concerned they were functional and kept his bed dry and his wet nappy contained. A white singlet was slipped over his head and his arms guided into the arm holes. Lastly a pink winceyette nightie was slipped on and pulled down Madison’s body. As Jill primed and preened the nightie she smiled to herself when she noticed it only cover part of his nappied rump. As far as she was concerned it accentuated his baby cuteness. Finally a white bib was tied in place and pink woollen booties slipped on his feet and tied at the ankles. These would keep his feet warm. Now Madison was ready for a feed then bed.
Picking up her baby she headed into the lounge, turned on the television for the local news channel then settled herself in her favourite soft chair. She firmly cuddled Madison as she affected these actions. He clung to her like a baby. Once she was comfortable she arranged her baby so he was cradled in her arms. Madison became agitated when he realised what was going to happen. Jill exposed her breast and Madison ‘dived’ in without any second bidding. He sighed as his mouth filled with warm creamy milk.
Jill kept one eye on her nursing baby and the other on the television news. She didn’t want to miss any of the broadcast. She was keen to see if there was any reference to Madison’s whereabouts. As the bulletin progressed it became apparent that nothing was forth coming. Jill was disappointed because it was a clear signal that nobody cared about his welfare, nobody had missed his absence. Yet, on the other hand she was pleased because it enabled her to build a firm bond with him, develop a loving mother-baby relationship and, all going well, cement his place in her heart and her life. That was what she wanted more than anything. Not so much for herself, although a baby in her life was just great but for the poor child himself. He needed and deserved a new start, a clean slate and be cherished and cared for as the angelic child he was. Therefore her treatment of him, her ability to care for him was tantamount. How she did this had to be carefully planned and followed through. Jill knew what she had to do and how she was going to do it. Her treatment of him the day before was a precursor of things to come. Her regime for tomorrow would add some dimension. She knew that he did not want to become a baby girl and there was no way she was going to permanently take him down that track. She would use the guise out of expedience and that’s all. Eventually when things finally settled down, if they ever did, she would have her baby boy. Until then it was a matter of taking each situation as it presented itself and act accordingly. That was the essential reason why she revealed to Lorie that she had custody of a baby boy.
Jill couldn’t remain a recluse for ever it wasn’t in her nature. She had developed a long friendship with Lorie and she wanted to maintain it. She knew she would have to reveal Madison to Agatha Turnbull down the road, her nearest neighbour and greatest support after the tragic death of her husband and young daughter. Agatha was a perceptive old woman who would be difficult to deceive and nor would she want too. Jill would have to plan that meeting carefully when it happened. In the meantime the more she thought about tomorrow’s meeting the more confident she was feeling. She had the perfect story worked out.
Slowly Madison’s tummy filled. His eyes grew heavier but he fought to keep them open. He wanted all her milk and he wasn’t going to fall asleep and leave any behind. But his fight was fruitless. He succ-umbed. Jill smiled to herself as he lost his battle. Her baby was now asleep. She knew breast milk and nursing had that effect on little ones in the evening. She remembered with fondness how Bethany always succ-umbed.
With exquisite care she placed her baby in his crib. After tucking him in, she kissed him tenderly, professed her love for him, raised the side of the cot and slipped out of the nursery. Once outside the nursery Jill leaned against the door jam and wrapped her arms around herself and sighed. God, being a proper mother again felt so good. Her baby was well nourished, clean and warmly tucked up for the night. She rubbed her breasts and smiled. It was wonderful to be using her breasts again for their intended purpose. As far she was concerned having a baby at her breast was the ultimate feeling and sensation of proper motherhood. It immediately transformed her into the ‘best’ mother in the world; giving her baby the ultimate gift of motherly nourishment – her breast milk. This life-giving nectar was the elixir of fulfilment and pleasure. The fact that Madison now craved and desired her breast and its contents added to her sense of fulfilment. Everything was now perfect and would be for a long time to come. But a dilemma now awaited her attention. What was she going to do about tomorrow? She knew in her own mind what she wanted to do and now she had to do it. Slipping into the spare room she set to work.
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Part 34
Madison’s heart rate quickened as he neared his house. His father’s car was up the driveway and that was unusual. He dreaded to think what might lie within those four walls. He knew his mother would be there but was that going to be enough. Whatever had prompted his father’s early return home it couldn’t be good. He carefully dropped his bag in the laundry and removed his shoes. He couldn’t hear his father’s droning voice. That could be a good sign. Gingerly he opened the door into the kitchen and was greeted by his mother’s bright and smiling face.
“Hello darling,” she gushed rushing over and wrapping him in her arms. “Did you have a nice day?” she asked. Madison was looking around for any sign of his father. His car was home so he had to be here. His mother detected his wayward interest in her. “It’s okay sweetie Daddy’s not home he has gone away for a week or more to fix a huge break down in a factory down south so it’s just you and me,” his mother explained. Madison let out a sigh. He was sure his mother could feel the tension leave his body. She picked him up and cuddled him. “Aww was my boy a bit frightened,” she whispered.
Madison nodded acknowledging his apprehension.
“It’s just you and me baby,” she cooed. “I know Daddy can be a bit tough on you sweetie but he means well,” she tried to explain. Madison wasn’t convinced and judging by the tone in her voice she wasn’t either. It was his mother’s attempt to reassure and play down his father’s affect upon him.
His mother carried him further into the kitchen. Madison finally realised that there was a delicious aroma pervading the room. In his heightened state of anxiety he hadn’t registered the odour. He realised his mother had been baking. He loved her baking. Unfortunately she only baked when his father was away. He considered such a past-time a waste of time, effort but more importantly money. Madison’s eyes fixed on the delicious delectables sitting on the bench fresh from the oven. His mother noticed his gaze.
“Come on honey how about some afternoon tea,” she asked. Madison was placed on his feet and he clambered onto a chair at the table. He watched his mother bustle around making him a drink and gathering several freshly baked biscuits on a plate. These were put in front of him. As he nibbled on the delicious bakery he regaled her of his day at school. His mother listened intently hanging on every word. Madison loved sharing his day.
As he was finishing his repast his mother asked about homework. Madison vigorously shook his head. She smiled.
“That’s good darling,” she said sweetly. “How about an early bath, into some warm jammies then we can cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie.”
“Yes please,” he replied delighted at the suggestion. He loved cuddling up with his mother and watching movies especially so early in the day. That was something his father actively discouraged. Madison had a feeling that the warm bath and jammies may mean something else but he wasn’t sure especially so early in the day.
His mother took his hand and guided him down to the bathroom. While the bath was filling Madison allowed his mother to undress him. He didn’t mind and he knew she liked too. When his father was home he had to do that, as well as bathe all by himself.
After the warm swirling soapy bath was ready Madison climbed in and allowed himself to wallow in the warm water. The steam clouded his vision and the rich sweet lavender aroma of the bubble bath filled his nostrils. Madison inhaled deeply. His mother left the bathroom to prepare his pyjamas. A few minutes later she returned and commenced bathing him. Madison let her. He loved the way she played the soft flannel over his skin at the same time ensuring he was thoroughly washed. She brattled away to him the same way a mother did to her adoring toddler. He hung on every word and let them slip and slide over him. Her comments, statements and little phrases were not intended for anyone else’s ears but his. He didn’t need to respond, indeed none was expected. Madison also knew that his mother loved to bath him and shower him with love and affection. Although too old for such an activity his mother insisted and Madison was only too happy to comply. He loved it.
After a thorough and intoxicating ministration Madison was assisted from the bath and wrapped in a warm fluffy towel. His mother ensured that he was thoroughly dry before guiding him into his bedroom. Madison’s stomach lurched. There, lying on the bed with his pyjamas was a neatly folded nappy and yellow front opening plastic pants. Madison knew his mother hid these from his father. In addition, he was acutely aware that this was the way she dealt with his bedwetting while his father was away. His father would not allow her to engage in nappying his son believing that his ‘pissy’ son could just wallow in his own filth like a pig. He only begrudgingly allowed Madison to use trainer pants at night but that was only at the insistence of his mother.
Madison allowed his mother to slip his singlet on then his pyjama top.
“Right darling,” she cooed. “Lie down on the bed so Mummy can put your nappy on.”
Madison looked at her and noticed immediately her adoring look. She affectionately stroked his head.
“Okay Mummy,” he replied and crawled on to the bed. His mother bent over him and adjusted his body. Without any words just a tacit understanding Madison raised his hips and his mother slipped the nappy underneath.
“Good boy,” she cooed a smile covering her mouth. Then sprinkling baby powder over his bottom and boyhood she deftly pinned the nappy snugly in place. Patting the soft mound between his legs she whispered, “Is that better darling?”
“Yes Mummy much better,” Madison whispered back. He knew he needed nappies at night. He hated waking up in a wet bed. Despite what his father grumbled and his accusing look, Madison knew couldn’t help it. His mother knew and understood that and never blamed or punished her son. Madison knew, also, that seeing that he was in nappies early he would have to use them. This he didn’t mind because his mother would lovingly change him. His mother snapped the plastic pants in place then helped him with his pyjama pants.
Madison felt very toddlerish as he waddled out to the lounge and took his place on the couch. His mother fixed the DVD in the machine. Once she had resumed her seat Madison crawled onto her lap. She wrapped her arms around him. Madison just loved when she patted his nappied bottom and occasionally kissed his head. This was his favourite place.
As Madison enjoyed the movie he noted a gnawing feeling in his stomach. It was the same feeling he had had during the day but had managed to suppress it. But now it was intensifying. He started to wriggle under his mother’s embrace.
“Are you okay honey?” she asked with concern on her face and in her voice. “Does my little boy need to fill his nappy?” she continued. Madison shook his head. It wasn’t his bowel that was the problem it was his stomach.
He managed to settle and returned to the screen and the movie. A few moments later his stomach lurched again this time more violently.
“Mummy!” he suddenly screeched. Then his stomach erupted.
…………..
Jill had just managed to insert the last of the button holes along the inner seam of the long trousers. Once she had the dozen or so buttons sewn on she’d be able to easily undo the seam and effect a quick and efficient nappy change without having to completely undress her baby. The work was slow and tedious. Jill’s mind consistently reflected on her conversation with Lorie and the how, by her own actions, she had now made Madison and herself even more exposed and vulnerable. She had just snipped the last thread when a piercing scream came from the nursery. Jill dropped the garment and dashed to the room.
Madison continued to scream. His mind slowly cleared as the fog of sleep and the images of his dream dissipated. As he bellowed he could feel a warm wet stickiness against the side of his face and the pungent foul odour of sour milk and vomit. He lifted his head from the mattress as more bile coursed up his throat and cascaded down his chin. Madison couldn’t, in his agitated state, fathom what was happening. It was dark. The raised sides of his crib suddenly gave the impression they were pulling in on him trying stifle and suffocate his very being. At the same time his bottom spasmed and warm poop exploded into his nappy. Now he was messy at both ends. Suddenly his room was bathed in bright light and a pair of sure hands grabbed him under both armpits.
Madison continued to bellow and struggle against the hands.
“Hey, hey little one it’s okay Mummy’s here,” Jill soothed. It was apparent as soon as she entered the nursery what had happened. “Awww darling it’s all over shhhhh…” Slowly she managed to roll the flailing boy onto his back. Madison realised who it was.
“Maaammmmaaaaa…” he wailed as he saw that reassuring face and registered the associated warm voice. As he lay on his back Jill retrieved his discarded bib and began wiping the worst of the vomit from his face and chin. At the same time she noticed the browny-yellow ooze seep out of the crotch of his nappy.
“Oh darling,” she soothed. “Mummy will soon have her baby all better. I think a nice warm bath will make my baby feel better, won’t it angel?”
She knew why he had vomited. After he had filled up on breast milk earlier in the evening he had been in such a deep sleep that she had not taken the time to ensure he had released any wind from his stomach. This had happened several times with Bethany and she knew from bitter experience what sort of mess was created and how distressed her babies would get. Madison was distressed now. He writhed and squirmed on the mattress. It was important now for her to placate her baby, the bed could wait. Slipping her hands under his neck and knees she carried Madison into the bathroom where he was deposited on the hard floor, no time for any covering. Turning on the taps to the hand shower she allowed the water to run while she slowly undressed her baby.
Madison continued to cry. He could smell the vomit and feel the stickiness around his bottom. The taste of stale vomit in his mouth caught in the back of his throat and made him gag and feel even more miserable. He had lost his dummy so missed its comfort. He tried to put his thumb in his mouth but was prevented.
“No, no darling your mouth is all yucky and so are your fingers,” Jill said softly. Madison cried as she took his only source of comfort away. “I know darling, I know.” Slowly Jill undressed her baby with gentle unhurried movements. These ministrations had a calming effect on Madison. One by one his nightie, singlet and pilcher were removed. With exquisite care Jill removed his nappy pins and slowly opened the soiled garment. His bottom was an absolute mess. This had been a real bowel explosion. He was covered in vile faecal matter all over his whole nappy area. Using what spare nappy was available she tried to remove some of the offensive matter. She dare not show her distaste to Madison. It would only upset him, after all the poor baby couldn’t help it. Finally she lifted him under the armpits clear of the floor and stood him in the bath.
Picking up the hand shower she tested the water temperature before spraying the very warm stream all over her baby. Madison squeaked as the water touched his skin. Using both hands to hold onto his ‘mother’ he stood uncertainly in the cold slippery bath tub while she rinsed his body. Slowly the rinsing water ran brown as it gurgled down the drain. Using a soft sponge Jill was able to rinse his body clean before smearing him in sweet smelling baby body wash was which was lathered all over his thin body. Jill smiled to herself as his little peenie erupted and a pale yellow stream trickled out and joined the soapy suds as they cascaded and slithered down his body. Madison was totally unaware of what his bladder had done until he saw the last drops of urine dribble into the soapy residue. He looked at his ‘mother’. Jill smiled. Madison realised that her warm smile was her way of acknowledging and condoning his infantile act.
Once his body had been rinsed of all the soapy remnants she allowed the warm water to cascade over his head. Madison blinked furiously as water spilled over his eyes and face. In typical baby fashioned he poked his tongue to sample the water. Jill ignored him. Adding some baby shampoo to his hair she massaged his scalp as the suds slid down his face, neck and body. Madison stood transfixed in the tub using one hand to clutch her shirt leaving a wet hand mark. Jill could feel his tight grip. It was not unexpected. Giving his hair and body a final rinse she shut the water off. Madison stood dripping in the bath as he watched his ‘mother’ gather a large fluffy white towel and wrap it around his thin bony body.
Gathering both hands around his thin waist Jill lifted her baby out of the bath dripping water on the floor. Quickly she headed for the nursery and laid him on the soft yet firm changing table. Using the attached belt she fastened it firmly over him to prevent him from rolling off. Immediately Madison managed to extract one arm and his thumb found its way to his mouth. He slurped and suc-ked it feverishly. Jill reached over to a jar nearby and retrieved a clean yellow dummy.
Taking his thumb out she replaced it with the comforting soother. “There darling that’s better,” she cooed. Madison gave her a relieved look. Jill gave his tummy a reassuring rub.
Moving quickly to the adjacent drawers Jill grabbed the first clothes she laid her hands on and returned to Madison. Dropping the clothes on the table beside her she unwrapped the towel and started slowly and methodically drying him. Madison lay before her totally naked lying on a damp towel. He wanted to cover himself out of embarrassment but couldn’t bring himself to do it. What was the point? Jill had seen him naked so many times he felt it was important to lie passively and soak up her ministrations. Jill looked at him periodically as she worked her way slowly over his body. Madison wriggled as the soft towel touched and caressed his most intimate parts. Jill parted his legs and dried in the creases. Madison’s little peenie stiffed slightly with her touch. Jill smiled to herself. As far as she was concerned he was just reacting to her soft tender touch and no more. It was nothing sexual at all. She was pleased his body was healing of his physical scars. He was still thin. His ribs were quite apparent but his skin was now soft and glowed a healthy pink. Jill prattled softly to him and Madison hung on every word, nuance and sweet syllable. He let the words wash over him and allowed them to soak into his very being. He absolutely adored this woman. Madison didn’t think he would ever replace his mother with someone else but his actions and reactions clearly showed he had. He desired her. He wanted to please her. Jill’s face was soft and glowing with adoration and love. Madison could see quite plainly that she was besotted with him. This gladdened his heart. At last someone, apart from his late mother truly loved and cared for him. By the time Jill had removed the towel from under him he was dry, warm and wallowing in the last vestiges of her caresses.
Madison knew by instinct what was coming next. Sure enough Jill gathered his ankles and lifted his bottom clear of the pad. Looking down passed his dummy Madison watched as a warm inviting white nappy was placed under his rump. When she deposited his bottom on the table Madison could feel the reassuring softness of the nappy touch his bum-cheeks. Actually it was his nappy really. They all were now.
Jill sprinkled baby powder all over his nappy area and torso. She caressed the white powder over his skin. Madison swallowed as he felt the tender fingers work their magic. Jill knew by the look of ecstasy on his face that he was under her spell. Slowly she pulled the thick soft white wad up between his legs. Madison felt his legs spread as the thick nappy forced them apart. He didn’t resist. With a couple reassuring tugs his nappy was pinned snugly in place. Madison continued to s_ck on his dummy. Jill leaned over her baby. Madison watched spellbound as her face neared his. She kissed him tenderly on the forehead. Jill inhaled his sweet baby aroma.
“Mama,” he chortled reaching his arms up to her. Jill smiled and obliged slipping her hand under his armpits and lifting him into her arms. Placing one hand behind his head she cuddled him warmly. Madison wriggled and squirmed in her arms as he tried to nestle into her. Jill’s hand slipped down from his head and gently rubbed his bare back. Madison began to gurgle with pleasure.
“Come on darling let’s go out to the lounge where it is warmer,” she whispered.
Gathering all the remaining clothes in one hand Jill exited the nursery and headed for the lounge.
-
Part 35
Madison noticed the subtle change in room temperature once they entered the lounge. Although his nursery was warm it was slightly cooler in comparison to this room. Jill pushed the door closed to the hallway allowing the lounge to contain and maintain its warmth. She dropped the remaining clothes on the couch before putting her baby boy on his feet. Madison stood motionless for a few minutes as he watched his ‘mother’ check the fire then disappear into the kitchen. Madison’s hand slipped down and touched the wadded cloth between his legs. He shuffled slightly on his feet and happened to catch a glimpse of himself in the glass doors of the china cabinet. It was a piece of furniture he had largely ignored until now.
Up until now Madison had not really had a good look at himself. He had been consumed with establishing his relationship with this other woman and trying to overcome the ordeals surrounding his previous life. It was not that he was totally oblivious to what was happening it was just he hadn’t bothered to look at himself closely or take any overt interest.
The image etched in the glass was not what he had imagined. Sure, there was the tousled blonde hair and his skinny bony frame. His skin looked healthier than before. It had taken on a pink glow and this was not due to the warmth in the room. His eyes focused on the dummy in his mouth. The yellow plastic guard completely covered his mouth and nestled just below his nose. He was surprised by this. In his limited experience he thought infant soothers were smaller. Maybe this was not one for a baby but made for an older child. Regardless of its sized it sat squarely in his mouth and bobbled as he worked on the silicon rubber teat. He watched as his hand slowly crept down and touched the soft fluffy cloth safely pinned around his bottom. His nappy felt warm and soft. It moulded to the contours of his body curving up into the small of his back, delicately cupping the backs of his thighs and ‘poffing’ out from his bottom. The two silver nappy pins with their pink caps were clearly etched against the white cloth.
How old was he? Well he certainly didn’t look like a ten year old. Sure, he had always been small for his age. He remembered how his mother used to worry about his small stature and lack of weight. His baby book recorded him as fitting into the bottom five percent of the population for his age. Even as a seven year old, prior to his mother’s death, he looked more like a three to four year old. Now as a near ten year old people thought he was around six or seven. This had never been a great problem to him. His peers had grown up with him so did not see his small stature and petite build as an issue. It tended to be the ‘imports’ into school who caused him the most grief.
Now as he surveyed his own image he was gradually forming conclusions in his own mind. Without the nappies he could be thought of as perhaps a four or five year old but now in nappies the whole perspective had changed. Without a doubt the fact that he was nearly ten had been permanently erased. He just didn’t cut that image.
Jill decided to fill a bottle with cooled boiled water and add an infusion of lemon juice for Madison. The mixture would be ideal in removing the taste of vomit in his mouth and throat. She knew it worked for her so it had to have the same effect on Madison. Filling the bottle she squeezed the juice of half a large lemon, screwed the cap in place and gave it a good shake. Jill looked about for Madison expecting to see her baby right behind her. She walked towards the lounge and saw him looking at his image mirrored in the cabinet.
Madison saw her image loom up behind him.
“There you are darling,” she cooed as she crouched down in front of him. “What are you looking at sweetheart?” Madison turned to the images reflected in the glass. Jill turned but she knew what he had been looking at. “Ahhh I see. Have you been looking at the cute baby in the glass?” Madison nodded. Jill turned towards the cabinet and wrapped an arm around his waist. Madison sidled closer. Her hand slipped down his back and started caressing the fluffy seat of his nappy. “What do you see darling?” she asked. Madison looked at her unsure of what to say. Jill waited patiently. She could see him processing her question.
“Me,” he finally squeaked.
“Yes it is darling,” Jill assured him. He knew that. “Look closely honey, do you see a ten year old Madison?” Madison regarded her.
“No,” he managed to whisper.
“This is what I see each day sweetie and I like what I see,” she informed him. “I certainly don’t see a ten year old Madison. He’s gone, hasn’t he?” Madison nodded as the realisation dawned on him. He knew he didn’t cut that image but hadn’t wanted to accept the fact and now hearing it from her really brought the reality home. Tears started to well up in his eyes. He blinked hard trying to stem the flow but slowly they rolled down his cheek. Jill saw what was happening. Her heart melted for him. She didn’t want to upset him but she had just presented a cold hard fact. “Oh darling,” she soothed wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a warm embrace. Madison leaned into her and collapsed. He started sobbing. Standing up Jill cuddled her distraught baby. “Let it all out sweetie,” she whispered to him. “Let all those tears go sweetie,” she continued gently patting his padded rump. Madison could feel her hand pat his nappied bottom. It was a sensation he liked. “I know it’s hard darling. Everything has tumbled down for my wee boy, hasn’t it?” Jill carried the distraught boy over to the couch and sat down with him. She waited patiently as he sobbed into her shoulder. “What did you see in the glass darling?” she asked carefully.
“A baby,” he finally breathed quietly his voice muffled in her shoulder.
“That’s right sweetheart, a baby, a cute adorable sweet cuddly baby and that’s what I see every day when I look at you,” she reiterated. “Madison honey…look at Mummy,” she soothed as she gently lifted his head using a finger under his chin to turn his face towards hers. She smiled adoringly at him. Picking up the bib beside her she dabbed the tears from his eyes and cheeks. Madison continued to sniffle. “That’s better darling,” she cooed. “Now look at me angel.” Madison gradually allowed his eyes to meet hers. What he noticed was the tenderness etched in them. “You’ve always been a baby, haven’t you?” He didn’t know what to say. Maybe he had always been but had tried to shut it out. “Your mother knew that Madison,” she stated. Madison blanched at that comment. How could she possibly know that she had never met his mother? “She knew you were still a baby. You wet the bed didn’t you?” He nodded. “And she knew you couldn’t help it and she tried to help you, didn’t she?” Madison nodded again. “Now from what you have told me she used nappies when you were alone together, didn’t she?”
“Yes,” he whispered.
“And that was because she knew her little boy wasn’t ready to potty during the night,” Jill paused to allow that revelation to sink in. “You used to have some accidents in your panties during the day but your mother covered that up from your father, didn’t she?” Madison dropped his eyes and nodded. It was true. The woman was slowly unravelling his previous existence and long held secrets. Jill lifted his face again. “It’s okay baby I understand. Your mother knew you struggled to keep your panties dry. Did you have wee messes as well?”
Madison swallowed. “Nearly,” he finally replied.
“I thought so,” she affirmed. “And she used to dress you and bathe you when your father wasn’t around because you found those things a struggle, didn’t you?” He nodded again. “And you used to suc-k your thumb as well,” she questioned.
“Yeth.”
Jill nodded. “See all those things tell me that you were still a baby and your mother knew that and tried her very best to help you. She was doing that only thing a loving mother could do and that was to love and care for little boy properly but your father made that difficult, didn’t he?” Madison didn’t respond there was no point she was right. Jill sensed that she had hit the nail on the head. “Did she sometimes let you have a bottle?” she probed gently.
“Yeth somethimes when Dad was not home,” Madison revealed.
“And all those things point to who you really were Madison…”
“But….” he cut in.
“But what darling?”
“I twied to be big…I fought I was a big boy…and when you found me I was still a big boy…” he trailed off. He didn’t sound too convincing. “And when you found me I was trying to be a big boy but…?” he paused. Jill waited. “But I kept slipping and being a… being a baby,” he sniffled.
“You couldn’t help it darling because inside you were really a baby and all I did was help you release that and let yourself go and be who you really are Madison. As I said earlier you are a baby. You’ve always been a baby. All you were doing was pretending to be a big boy but it was so hard, wasn’t it?” Madison nodded at all these revelations as more tears trickled down his cheeks. “I could tell this a couple of days after I found you,” she said. “I knew by what you were doing and how you were acting that this was the true Madison. The ten year old Madison has gone, hasn’t he? He vanished that night on my front porch. He really was never there, was he?”
“No,” he acknowledged.
“And now I have in my arms the cutest little two year baby any mother could ever want,” she stated kissing him repeatedly. Madison swooned with pleasure at her actions. “That’s how old you really are. From now on you are two years old, not in a physical sense because you were born nearly ten years ago but in an emotional, spiritual and psychological sense, understand?” Madison didn’t really and Jill could see that. “You probably don’t. All I want Madison to do is to be happy and be himself…just be the baby he really is and I promise I will try to make you the happiest baby alive. I will always care and protect you Madison. I will always love and nurture you. I will never be cruel or nasty or humiliate you. I couldn’t do that. You are an adorable little boy and someone I truly want,” she said softly and with complete sincerity.
Suddenly Madison flung his small arms around her neck taking Jill be surprise.
“I wuv you Mummy,” he lisped. Jill was touched. This was the first time the boy had revealed his true feelings towards her and she swooned with delight. She tightened her embrace and cuddled him with all her being.
“And I love you baby,” Jill responded then waited. “Madison,” she finally said.
“Huh.”
“There is something else I need to say,” she said prising him out of her embrace and settling him on her lap. He cuddled in. He loved her warmth and the security he felt. “Look at Mummy baby,” she said sweetly. He lifted his face towards hers and she kissed him tenderly. “Mummy loves you too,” she continued. Then she patted the front of his nappy drawing his attention to them. “I have no intention of ever potty training you Madison, do you know what that means?”
“I fink so,” he lisped.
“And what does that mean to you?” she probed.
He touched his nappy, looked down at the white cloth bunched between his legs then up at her then swallowed. He took his dummy out and looked at the wet nipple then back at her. “I will always wear nappies,” he finally whispered.
“That’s right darling, you’ll always be in nappies and that’s because babies always wear nappies and you’re a baby, aren’t you?”
“Ah huh.”
“So you’ll always wear nappies, okay?”
“Okay,” he whispered. Jill could detect a look of relief on his face.
“You like your nappies, don’t you?” He nodded. “That’s good because I think you are the cutest baby in the world in your nappies.” Madison blushed. “Now that brings us to your present situation.” Madison looked at her with an air of expectation mixed with apprehension. “I promised after I first found you that you will not go back to your father and I will make sure of that. It will mean that I will have to shelter you with whatever means I can muster, you understand?”
“Yes Mummy I understand,” he answered. “But…”
“But what darling?” she coaxed.
“But isn’t keeping me wrong?” he finally asked searching her face.
Jill paused to consider his question. He was right of course. By her keeping him she was in fact kidnapping him even though he found her. But in the eyes of the law that didn’t matter. Jill scanned his face then selected her words carefully.
“You’re right darling. Keeping you here is wrong. But you know you can leave at any time, don’t you?”
Madison looked at her. “Yes but I don’t want too,” he finally replied.
“In fact what your father was doing to you is far worse than what I’m doing but it doesn’t mean that this is right,” she responded. “You need to choose Madison,” she stated with a degree of finality. She wasn’t trying to be hard on him but given the situation he had to make the choice. Admittedly Jill knew she had tried to make his decision easy with her treatment of him.
Madison’s mind was in turmoil. He adored this person. She had given him sanctuary, kept him warm, fed him, clothed and kept him safe. He knew what would lay in store if he returned to his father. That course of action was out of the question. By running away he had had made his decision. He flung his arms around her neck.
“I want you Mummy,” he mumbled into her shoulder. Jill breathed a sigh of relief.
“And I want you Madison,” she gushed kissing him sweetly. “I want you with all my heart sweetheart,” she continued her voice suddenly croaky. Quickly Jill composed herself. “Right darling so we have to work to keep you safe because I’m sure people will come looking eventually, you understand that don’t you Madison.
He lifted his head. “Yes Mummy I know that.”
“I will use whatever means at my disposal to keep you safe. Now if it means dressing you as a baby girl I will do it, understand?”
“Yes Mummy.”
“I promise Madison that I am not going to turn you into a girl. That would be cruel and deny who you really are. You’re a sweet little boy and that’s how you will live your life out but until everything is safe and assured you will be dressed according to the situation. Tomorrow we are going to see a friend of mine. She knows about you…” Jill stopped as she saw a surge of panic cross his face. “It’s okay sweetheart don’t be alarmed. All Lorie knows is that you are my two year old baby cousin whose mummy is very sick and dying so she has given you to me for adoption. She knows you are a baby boy. It would be silly and dangerous to dress you as a girl then later when everything is settled suddenly change you into a boy. Lorie would get suspicious then everything would surely unravel. So tomorrow you will be dressed as a two year old baby boy but there will be other times, other situations where you will be dressed as a baby girl. Do you understand Madison?”
“Yes Mummy I understand,” Madison replied and he truly did.
“Now I don’t want you get upset when I dress you in frilly dresses and baby panties because that is what baby girls wear, okay?” Madison nodded. “I know it will be hard but just think about what we are trying to do and how we trying to hide you, okay?”
“Okay Mummy.”
Jill knew that she was talking to him like a ten year old because it was important to set the ground rules and ensure he fully appreciated the gravity of the situation and the drastic nature of the measures used to fit each situation.
Madison looked at her intently. He felt his ten year old psyche rise even if it was only briefly. “I understand completely Mummy. I don’t want to go back to my father. I want to stay here with you. You are a like my mother and that to me is important. I loved my mother and miss her…” he paused to collect himself. This was difficult for Madison to suddenly reveal his inner most emotions. He swallowed. “I know you will never be truly like her no one could but I like the way you are and I want you for my Mummy,” he sniffled as more tears filled his eyes.
“You’re a brave little boy Madison,” Jill said sincerely and with tenderness. “I wouldn’t want to be like your mother. She sounds to me like she was a wonderful person and I wouldn’t want you to forget her. She will always have a special place in your heart. I want to be your mother. I truly do but I could never really replace her. As I said earlier I will always love and treasure you. I will be a mother to you. You are a special little boy and the most adorable baby.”
Madison looked up at her and smiled. “Mum, Mum, Mum. Bub, bub, bub,” he chortled slipping his dummy back in and slipping back into baby mode.
Jill smiled broadly and chuckled at his sudden reversal. “Yes you’re Mummy’s bubby.” And she lifted him to cuddle him against her. “Now I think it’s time to dress my baby then give him a nice drink,” she cooed.
Swivelling him onto her lap again she picked up the singlet and slipped it on him. Then she picked up the pink pyjama top and helped guide his head and arms into the garment before tying up the pink ribbons at the neck and wrists. She saw the matching crawlers and realised that she had grabbed the pink two piece footed baby suit.
This ensemble had been given to her by Agatha Turnbull again just before Bethany’s tragic accident. Clearly the woman had made it herself because Jill knew she was a skilled seamstress. Looking at the clothing at the time Jill knew it was totally unsuitable for her daughter. It was very babyish yet had been made large enough to fit her even when she finally grew to school age. She didn’t know what possessed Agatha to create such a garment. She remembered the old woman saying that it would be ideal for winter but Jill could never dress her daughter in it. It was totally unsuitable, besides Bethany loved her nighties. She even objected when occasionally Jill dressed her in a one-piece sleeper. But Madison on the other hand was a different proposition. It would suit him perfectly. In fact Jill noticed it was slightly bigger than she had imagined. She wasn’t sure whether that was because he was small or Agatha had made the garment big. In addition, Jill felt sure that once he had the crawlers on he would look like an adorable baby girl.
Finally Jill tied the white bib around his neck. She eased him back until he was cradled in her arms then slipped his dummy out, picking up the baby bottle of flavoured water she teased the wet nipple over his lips.
Immediately Madison took the teat and suc-ked. Straight away his mouth filled with cool lemon flavoured liquid. It was refreshing and very pleasant.
“Good baby,” Jill cooed. “That’ll take away the yukky sickie taste in your mouth.” Madison wriggled to get comfortable and allowed one of his hands to creep down and finger one of his nappy pins. He felt so relaxed.
After a few minutes Jill decided he could hold the bottle himself because she knew she had to get the buttons in place on the trousers as well as sort out his crib.
“Come on darling Mummy wants her baby to hold his bottle so she can fix your bed up,” she stated as she lifted the small boy onto his feet.
Madison took the bottle and stood in front of her. Getting up she caressed his soft blonde hair. “Now stay here sweetie where it is warm Mummy will be back soon,” she advised. Madison nodded shaking the refreshing contents of his bottle.
Jill slipped out of the lounge but left the hall door slightly ajar. Madison watched her leave. He waddled over to the cabinet again and took in the sight of the baby boy drinking his bottle. He smiled around the teat. Perfect he thought. He now felt happy and content. The conversation with his ‘mother’ had released pressures and tensions which had been deeply suppressed and seemed to push in upon him. Madison suddenly felt alive and carefree. He had a new mother, new home and the beginnings of a new life. The life of a two year old now sat easily on him. This was what he wanted he now realised. No more pretending, no more lies, no more needing to constantly convince himself that he was not what he was trying to portray. He was a baby now. He could now let his inner persona free. As he lowered the soothing liquid he watched as a wet patch slowly spread across the front of his nappy and down between his legs. He smiled again. He was now a wet baby. No more trying to hold his bladder and struggling against his immature control. He didn’t have to worry about wet pants anymore now he was in nappies. They were designed to be used and he intended to do just that. To put it bluntly Madison realised he was now wearing his potty. The strange thing was he was not upset by this action nor the realisation that nappies now were going to be a permanent part of his life. Madison liked the way his bladder had emptied of its own accord which now made him more like a true baby – a nappy dependent baby.
Jill quickly remade his bed and removed the soiled sheet and nappy. Clutching the nappy bucket she exited the nursery and headed into the spare room to gather her sewing. As she moved towards the lounge the door opened further and her baby boy was silhouetted in the frame. She noticed his nappy drooped slightly. As she drew closer his full image appeared – cute pink top, white bib, bottle in his mouth and a happy smiling face peering at her. What a change of demeanour. Standing before her now appeared to be a happy carefree toddler. Obviously what she had said and revealed had had a remarkable effect on him. He had changed and she liked what she perceived. When she reached him his free hand grabbed her just like a baby. She noticed he was wet. Also she noted that he had almost finished the bottle. Finally the audible suc-king of air confirmed this.
“Here Mummy,” Madison said a cute baby voice.
“Good boy,” she beamed. “Did my baby like that?”
“Ah huh.”
“Come on angel let Mummy change those wet nappies eh.”
“Ah huh.”
He scuttled across the lounge and grabbed his dummy lying on the couch and stuffed it into his mouth. He smiled mischievously. Jill giggled to herself at his babyish action. Grabbing some fresh nappies she knelt on the floor and folded them.
Madison grabbed her shoulder as he stood beside her. “Bub, bub, bub, na, na,” he chortled.
She grabbed him. Madison let out a sudden squeak and gently she laid him on the floor in front of her. “Yes darling its bubby’s nap-nap,” she confirmed. Then she reached over to the couch and grabbed the crawlers, pink pilcher, wipes and baby powder and arranged them beside her.
Madison wriggled and squirmed under her gaze then he flopped his legs open to reveal the wet mass between them. Slowly and tenderly Jill changed his nappy. Madison gurgled with delight at his ‘mother’s’ attention. Soon another thick warm soft nappy was pinned around his nether regions. Grabbing his ankles Jill slipped the opened pink pilcher under his padded loins and efficient domed it in place. Madison felt the closing pilcher tighten his nappy around his bottom. Finally, one by one Jill slipped his feet into the crawler and eased it up his legs ensuring his small feet were encased in the soft warm fabric. She eased the crawler up over his padded loins manoeuvring his body like a baby. She sat back on her haunches and cast her eye over his form. The pink two piece footed ensemble had transformed him into a gorgeous pink bundle. With his soft tousled blonde hair and yellow dummy in place he looked like a baby. What made the scene even more realistic was that Madison lay on his back with his legs akimbo like a baby the thick nappy forcing his legs apart. He looked at Jill then extended his arms.
“Mama,” he gurgled.
“Come to Mama precious,” she said reaching down and lifting him into her arms. Standing up she cuddled him close and slowly headed towards the nursery. Madison didn’t whimper as she laid him in his baby bed. Rolling over onto his stomach he rubbed his face into the new nappy which acted as his pillow. Jill smiled as she covered her baby boy. Leaning over she kissed him tenderly on the side of his face. Madison smiled.
“Mama,” he gurgled.
“Night, night my precious baby,” she whispered. “Mummy loves her baby boy.” Tucking him in firmly Jill caressed his head once more before raising the side of the cot. She was sure his eyes were fluttering as he tried to fight off sleep.
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Sorry to keep everyone waiting. A new installment. Enjoy!
Part 36
Jill sighed as the last thread secured the final button in place. Her hands ached and her eyes were sore but the alterations had been done. She looked at the clock. It was a quarter to midnight. Laying the finished trousers aside she quickly exited the lounge and crept into the nursery to gather the other clothes she wanted. Using the hall light she managed to gather what she wanted and stole a quick peek at her baby. She was pleased he was in a deep sleep. In fact he hadn’t shifted from where she had tucked him in. Good, she thought, hopefully the little talk has brushed away some of those nightmares little one. It was a hope that’s all.
Once she had arranged the clothes on the coffee table for the morning she readied for bed. The long hot shower relaxed her tired muscles and gave her an inner sense of wellbeing. Before retiring she checked the fire to ensure it was bedded for the night. Jill loved the log fire especially since she now had a baby in the house. The heating appliance, in its suppressed mode still kept the house warm during the night. She made sure the drapes were covering the windows before heading towards her room. She made one final stop at the nursery to check her baby.
As she entered the darkened room the light cast from the hallway revealed her baby boy sitting up in his crib. He was rubbing his eyes and whimpering quietly.
…….
Madison snuggled into the mattress. It was great to be back in his bed. It was a strange thought to have pass through his mind. He now looked upon this baby crib as his bed. He was ten and shouldn’t be entertaining such thoughts but the notion sat comfortably with him. He was not ten anymore he was two and two year olds sleep in cribs. And as he was two therefore this was his crib. He liked the idea. He rubbed his face into the soft nappy spread over his mattress. He could detect his smells in the bed. He looked sideways to see his new mother bend over him and kiss him tenderly. God she was lovely he thought. She was his Mummy now, his saviour, his rock, his hope of salvation.
“Mama,” gurgled around his dummy. He felt her soft hand gently caress his head. He liked that. He heard her mumbled words but they didn’t register as he fought the encroaching steps of sleep. Through his sleepy haze he saw the side being lifted and he blinked when his nursery was denied light. He sighed and slowly suc-ked his dummy as sleep took hold and his bladder emptied its warm liquid contents into the thirsty folds of his nappy.
Something aroused Madison from his delicious slumber but he didn’t know what it was. He rolled over as his bladder erupted again causing warm pee to trickle down between his legs and over his bottom to be soaked up. Rubbing his eyes he sat up trying to orientate himself. He rubbed them again and started to whimper. He wanted his Mummy to make everything better. Then he heard the unmistakeable sound of the side of his crib being lowered.
Jill dropped the side of the cot and lifted her warm baby into her arms. Madison felt her reassuring warmth and could detect the unmistakeable smell of floral soap, shampoo and breast milk. He rubbed his face into her shoulder. He felt so reassured.
Reaching over to the nappy stacker she grabbed a ready folded nappy and dropped it in the end of his crib. Then she gathered a single nappy from a pile beside the changing table and dropped beside the folded garment. Finally the wipes and powder joined the mix. Carefully she laid her baby back in his crib. Madison started to mewl again. Jill gave his tummy a reassuring rub. As Madison whimpered and wriggled Jill set about changing his nappy. She knew he’d be wet. Jill knew from past experience that changing a nappy when her baby woke was one sure way of settling them down. She was now going to use the same ploy on Madison. Slowly and methodically she removed his crawlers, opened his pilcher revealing a very wet nappy. This was unpinned and removed. Madison shuddered when the cool wipes touched his nappy area. Jill whispered reassuring words to her boy. Folding the single nappy she arranged it inside the already folded nappy, placed a nappy liner on top and slipped the fluffy pile under his up turned bottom. Madison continued to whimper as the very thick nappy was pinned closed, the pilcher replaced then the crawlers eased into position. Finally Jill gave her hands a wipe and picked her baby into her arms.
Again Madison snuggled into the reassuring warm body of his new mother. She didn’t say anything to him as she slowly exited the nursery, doused the hall light and slipped into her own bed warmed by her faithful electric blanket.
As she eased herself between the sheets she manoeuvred Madison until he was lying beside her. She adjusted the bed side lamp until a very soft light was cast around. Madison wriggled as he tried to get close to her. Slipping her arms around him she drew him into her chest. She prattled softly to him as he settled. Madison’s eyes focused on the fluffy floral material of her nightie. His small frail body was pressed against hers and he could feel and absorb the warmth radiating from her. Madison felt her hand caress his head and felt her soft warm lips touch and linger on his forehead. Then he watched spellbound as her nimble fingers slowly undid the buttons down the front of her nightie. He was enthralled as her hand brushed aside the material and her soft white gleaming breast came into view. The skin was soft and pallid and he could make out the myriad of tiny blood vessel snaking and wending their way under the surface of the white soft skin. Madison allowed his dummy to slip from his mouth before his very moist lips played over the warm surface. He felt his mother’s firm hand guide his head in the direction of her nipple. As soon as it touched his lips Madison opened his mouth and suc-ked the warm morsel in. He tongued the nipple drawing more of warm mammary into his mouth. He started to suc-k and was rewarded with creamy, warm breast milk. He gratefully swallowed several mouthfuls before settling down.
Jill sighed as her baby began to suc-kle. She loved having her babies snuggled up bed with her. As far as she was concerned it was an essential part of the bonding process. To feel their small warm bodies wriggle and squirm against her, to have their warm moist lips cupping her nipple, to have their gentle hands pawing at her chest was the ultimate sensual experience. She had it with Bethany and now she was going to enjoy it with Madison. But there would be one key feature which would set the two babies apart. While Bethany would often come into her bed she wouldn’t stay and would eventually wriggle her way out, she firmly believed that with Madison it would be entirely different. He seemed to crave her, want to be in her arms, and want to be touching her and be touched by her. She was of the opinion that he would stay with her and cuddle. That was the one thing she had noticed over the last few days – Madison was a cuddly child. Now whether that was because he had lacked them previously or was just part of his nature she did not know, in fact she didn’t really care. The fact that he wanted to be cuddled was enough for her. Jill was more than ready to oblige.
Jill caressed his soft hair and whispered sweet endearments to him. She noticed that he had stopped taking her milk and was now content just to tongue and suc-k her nipple. Using it, she felt, like a dummy. If he wanted to do that it was fine with her. Jill allowed her free hand rub its way down his body until it rested on his thickly padded bottom. She didn’t know why but she loved patting or rubbing his nappy and now this was no exception. She shrugged her shoulders maybe it was a mother thing because she did the same with Bethany.
Madison couldn’t recall being returned to his crib.
When Jill awoke daylight was trying to etch its way around the edges of the drapes. She lay quietly listening to the baby monitor for any signs that her baby was awake. She looked at the alarm clock. It was just after 7.30. She thought after the late night and the disrupted sleep she would be tired but wasn’t. Maybe now that she was in mother-mode her body and mind were adjusting themselves accordingly. She rose, dressed and collected the morning newspaper. She looked in on Madison. He was still sleeping spread-eagled on his back but she could tell by the way his body was twitching that it wouldn’t long before he woke.
She quickly stirred the fire into life and opened the drapes. The day was dull and overcast. Having already been out in the elements she knew it was cold. The perfect day for the clothing she had planned for her baby to wear. She quickly scanned the newspaper for any news on Madison. Still nothing. She had time to catch the brief morning report on television. Still nothing. It had now been eight days since she’d found him and no-one had reported anything. She checked and repacked his nappy bag and had some breakfast. Jill knew she was meeting Lorie at 11 so knew she had plenty of time. She heard some rustling over the baby monitor so headed to the nursery.
When Madison’s eyes flicked open he was staring at the mobile above his head. He wriggled on the warm comfortable mattress. With the crawlers on he felt deliciously warm. He remembered snuggling up to his mother sometime last night and savouring her spongy nipple in his mouth. He suc-ked on his dummy reassured by its presence. The events earlier the previous evening danced through his mind. Everything as far as he was concerned had changed for him. His life suddenly gathered new meaning and appeared to be moving forward at last, moving forward in baby mode that is. He flexed his legs pushing against the soles of his crawlers. His nappy moved and slithered the wet cloth affirming its constant presence. He planted his feet in the mattress and lifted his rump off the mattress as he did so his bladder erupted delivering its usual warm wetness into the already wet cloth. The hot stream was strong and Madison dropped his bottom and opened his legs further as the pee flowed. He sighed a satisfied baby sigh. Was his mother up? When was she going to come a get him?
Jill pushed the door open. She could see her baby lying on his back feet planted on his mattress and bottom elevated. She smiled to herself. Perhaps the dear boy was filling his nappy ready for her. He would most certainly be wet.
Madison sensed her presence and turned then scrambled to his knees. He clutched the bars of the crib as she approached. Jill smiled adoringly at her baby.
Lowering the side of the crib she lifted the squirming little boy into her arms.
“Hello precious,” she cooed kissing him tenderly.
“Mama, Mama,” he chortled pleased to see her and wrapped his small arms around her neck.
Jill picked up a spare folded nappy from the stacker and carried her baby boy from the nursery.
Carefully she laid him on the blanket spread on the table. Slowly she peeled off his crawlers, opened his pilcher and unpinned his soaked nappy. Rolling the saturated cloth inside the pilcher she dropped them both on a chair beside her. Using a warm damp cloth she thoroughly washed his whole groin and bottom. Within minutes Madison was pinned into a clean soft dry nappy. Putting him on his feet she let him follow her out into the laundry where the discarded baby items were tossed in the tub. Scooping up her baby she carried him back into the lounge, tied a bib around his neck and settled him in her arms. Opening her shirt and lifting her bra she allowed Madison to nuzzle her breast then suc-kle. Madison wriggled and gurgled as he slowly filled his stomach with his mother’s warm creamy nectar.
Jill watched as her baby slurped, snuffled and grunted as he nursed.
Occasionally Madison’s eyes met hers and he gave her a gorgeous smile which only caused milk to dribble out the side of his mouth. When he had emptied the first mammary Jill carefully sat him to shift him to the other side. As she did so he belched causing her to giggle.
“Good boy,” she acknowledged praising his infantile behaviour.
As Madison nursed on her other breast Jill was acutely aware that over the past few days breast milk had formed most of his diet. While it was essential, as far as she was concerned, in building up his immunity and establishing an appropriate nutrient pattern she was mindful that it would not be sustaining. She needed to add more solid food to his regime.
Madison enjoyed the breast milk slipping down his throat. He could feel it fill his tummy. When he initially started breast feeding all those days ago he had been initially repulsed by the fluid. The taste was unusual and when he belched it left an unsavoury after taste. When he vomited the smell was repulsive yet the more he nursed the more he liked the milk. One downside to existing on a breast milk diet was what it did to his digestion. He had made his bowel motions very loose almost liquidy and his bowel tended to empty almost on its own accord. He found that it didn’t sustain him so he craved regular top ups.
Madison slowed his suc-kling. He was full. Jill could feel his suc-k diminish as well as she was aware that her milk had stopped. She carefully sat her baby to allow him an opportunity to release the wind trapped in stomach. Madison could feel it roll around and started squirming to allow it to release. Suddenly he emitted several large belches which eased the tightness in his stomach.
Jill put her baby on his feet.
She disappeared into her room to put the finishing touches to her makeup. As she sat in front of the mirror the door to her room slowly swung open and Madison appeared. Jill smiled at his baby form as it waddled towards her. By the way his nappy was drooping he was wet. ‘Nothing unusual,’ mused Jill. She didn’t mind after all he was a baby.
Madison draped himself over her lap. Jill caressed his back and rubbed the seat of his nappy. She smiled to herself. ‘It was at least it wasn’t full,’ she thought. Using her lipstick she put the finishing touches to her lips then recapped the container. As soon as she placed it on the dresser Madison reached for it. Jill gently grabbed his hand.
“Ta to Mummy,” she said softly holding his hand. Madison looked at her then back at the lipstick. “Ta to Mummy,” she repeated. “That’s not for babies,” she continued. He let the capsule go and it clattered onto the dresser. “Good baby,” she praised putting the makeup item away in a drawer. Picking up the mascara she added the finishing touches to her eyelashes. Madison watched spell bound. He had never seen anyone apply makeup, not even his own mother. He reached up for it.
“No darling,” giggled Jill intrigued by his tenacity. “That’s not for babies either.” And she put it away and picked him up ignoring his wet condition and sat him on her lap an arm wrapped around his middle. Madison looked at himself in the mirror his blonde still in tousled disarray over his head and his dummy bobbling in his mouth. He leaned back into her and he watched her kiss the top of his head. Jill leaned close to his ear. “Is bubby ready to get dress?” Madison giggled and wiggled his head as her whispered voice and warm breathe tickled his ear. “Because I know a little baby who’s got very wet nap-naps,” she said slowly ticking him in the ribs. Madison squirmed to evade her fingers. “Come on angel,” she said turning him, standing and carrying him from the bedroom. With her baby still in her arms she gathered all the clothes she had sorted out the night before along with a nappy change and headed back out to the kitchen.
She put Madison on his feet while she arranged everything on the table including the changing blanket. She scooped him up and laid him before her on the table. Madison looked at the pile of clothes beside him. Judging by the colours present Madison hoped they would be boys’ clothes. He looked at her as she folded the nappy ready for him. With slow and unhurried movements Jill undressed her little boy. Within minutes Madison was lying completely naked before her. Carefully and gently Jill washed his nappy area again and dried it before coating it in sweet smelling baby oil. His nappy was slipped under his up-raised rump and baby powder added before it was pinned closed. Madison flexed his legs against the thick soft cloth. Jill smiled indulgingly as she watched his reaction. Madison felt less exposed now his nappy was in place. Jill slipped a clean singlet in place before adding a yellow shirt which buttoned up the front and was tied at the wrists. She slipped a clear plastic pilcher under his bottom and velcroed it around his nappy. Madison felt his nappy tighten. A pair of white socks was slipped over his feet before a yellow sweatshirt was pulled over his head, his arms inserted and it eased down his body. Madison loved the attention he received when he was being dressed. He wanted to enjoy every moment of it, so completely relaxed Madison allowed himself to be dressed like a baby. Jill patted the mound between his legs before picking up the altered trousers. Madison was relieved to see the tell-tale design of boys’ trousers. This relief was mixed with the knowledge that he was not going to be dressed as a girl for this outing. This pleased him more. He smiled at his ‘mother’. Jill noted his satisfied smile and was sure why he was pleased. Slipping the trousers up his legs she adjusted the straps until they were crossed over his back and buttoned them to the front bib. Madison looked down and could just make out the white rabbit embroidered on the beige coloured material. He wriggled and squirmed, then giggled when he felt Jill’s soft sure hand slip under the garment and adjust his shirt and sweat-shirt. He was ticklish. Finally she pulled the inner seams together and started to button them closed. With the closing of each button Madison felt the garment tighten around his bottom and legs until his nappy was very snug. When the last button was in place Jill stood back and admired the garment and her boy. It seemed to fit Madison perfectly. She stifled a grin as she looked at her baby boy lying on the table his legs akimbo like a small toddler with an obvious nappy bulge packing his crotch. Finally she slipped on a pair of brown shoes securing the Velcro in place. She lifted Madison into her arms and gave him a long cuddle patting his bulging bottom.
“Stand on the chair darling,” she cooed as she placed the boy on his feet. She tied a white bib around his neck. Then picking up a brush she arranged his curly, wavy blonde locks into some resemblance of order.
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Part 37
The drive to meet Lorie was totally different to the last car trip, Jill mused, as the car droned its way towards their destination. The occasional glance in the rear view mirror confirmed in her mind that Madison was in a different frame of mind. He appeared happier even content. She watched him momentarily as he gazed out the car window his dummy bobbling in his mouth and his small fingers pawing at the thick mound between his legs. Today he was every inch a gorgeous toddler boy. With the large shield of his dummy covering his mouth, the large white bib tied around his neck and the white woollen hat with its resplendent yellow pom-pom really accentuated his toddler-like appearance. In fact it covered his head very well and allowed a few wisps of his blonde locks to escape. To look at Madison at this point in time you wouldn’t have been able to tell that he was actually a ten year old boy or even that he was in fact Madison Herbert. Jill smiled to herself as she watched her baby. Given the circ-umstances it was a clever disguise and all Madison had to do now was play his part which she was sure he would do with perfect aplomb.
Madison relaxed in his car seat. Although he felt anxious about this trip it was nothing like the anxiety he felt during their last excursion. The baby girl attire and the fact he was appearing in public really set him going. But today was slightly different. Sure, he was venturing into public again but this time he was ‘himself’ so to speak. Not ten year old Madison but two year old Madison instead. He was a boy; okay a baby boy, but a boy nonetheless. The anxiety he felt was largely over his public exposure and meeting this other woman. Although the fear of being recognised played heavily on his mind, it was more how he would be accepted by another person, more importantly another woman. Would that person see through the guise? Would they jeopardise the whole situation? Would it be the beginning of a downward spiral? Madison knew exactly what he had to do. He had to be a very convincing toddler and throw his entire being into his ‘baby’ role.
Finally Jill nosed the large silver wagon into the car-park outside another shopping complex. Madison looked around as Jill gathered objects from the back of the vehicle. It was a different complex from the one visited a few days earlier. In fact it looked a bit familiar but Madison couldn’t think where it was. He shrugged his small shoulders as he felt his nappy grow warm and wet.
Madison jumped as the side door opened. It had stirred him from his musings. Jill smiled at him as she unbuckled his baby seat harness. She slipped her hands under his armpits.
“Come to Mummy darling,” she cooed lifting him out and depositing him in the large stroller. After buckling Madison in Jill secured the car and headed into the shopping complex pushing the stroller in front of her.
Madison’s eyes scanned the car park and the imposing complex. As with all these places people were moving to and fro - men, woman, teens, children, whole families or just mothers with young children or babies either pushing strollers or prams. Madison realised that he was just part of that throng, part of the latter group, a baby being pushed by his adoring ‘mother’. Apart from the occasional glance most people largely ignored them.
Jill entered the mall. Immediately they were hit by a cacophony piped music, voices and the general noise of humanity as it went about its business. Madison became increasingly anxious as the stroller rolled into the cavernous shopping arena. He glanced repeatedly at Jill hoping for some sign of empathy. Jill looked at her boy and sensed his increased agitation. She stopped beside a setting of seats. She unclipped the harness and lifted the boy into her arms. She could feel him shaking. Embracing him warmly she rubbed his back and patted his bulky bottom.
Kissing him tenderly on his cheeks she whispered to him.
“It’s alright darling you’re safe with me. Nothing is going to happen, trust me.” He buried his face into her neck. She felt his warm breath and his cool nose touch her skin. She could hear his frantic suc-king as he worked hard on his dummy. Madison bunched his legs up and tried to climb her. Jill spoke softly and soothingly to him. Each word designed to placate his fragmented ego and boost his faltering esteem. The words were couched carefully to calm and soothe him and slowly, ever so slowly, they worked. Finally Madison lifted his head and looked at this woman, this person who was now his surrogate mother. He scanned her face and looked into her eyes. He could see the warmth and sincerity within them. She was right, he thought, he could trust her, she would protect him. Out of impulse he wrapped his small arms around her neck.
“Mummy…” he squeaked.
Jill sighed. “Yes darling I’m your Mummy. You’ll be fine baby,” she said reassuringly. “You’ll be fine.” After a few more minutes she replaced him back in the stroller and buckled him securely before proceeding further into the mall.
A few minutes later Jill sighted Lorie sitting at table near a playground across from a busy café. Lorie must have seen her because she stood and waved. Jill quickened her pace. As she drew closer Jill could see a large black stroller with a little dark headed girl strapped in. She couldn’t be any more than eighteen months old. What was even more intriguing was that she was the spitting image of her mother. Kate was dressed in a cute plain pink dress with a matching woollen cardigan over the top. She was lounging in stroller with a pink dummy in her mouth. Jill noted the pale pink plastic pants obviously covering a thick nappy. Finally she was wearing a pair of white socks with black shiny patent-leather shoes. She was indeed a very pretty girl. She wondered where Tyler was.
Lorie approached a few paces towards the pair then stopped as Jill neared. As soon as the stroller was level with her Lorie peered around the canopy. Her eyes lit up.
“Oh my God! Oh my God Jill he’s beautiful. He’s really gorgeous,” she gushed. “Aren’t you precious?” she continued leaning in and undoing the harness. “Here gorgeous come to Auntie Lorie,” she cooed reaching into the stroller and lifting Madison out and into her arms. Lorie preened the front of his trousers and adjusted his bib. “My, aren’t you just a wee cutie. Jill he’s beautiful,” she reemphasised. Jill could see the bright, expected look on her friend’s face. It was the look of someone besotted with young children. It appeared to her that Lorie actually thought he was a baby. This, of course was what she wanted her to believe. Jill watched as Lorie fussed and clucked over her baby. “And after losing Bethany and Rob you really deserve another little one, Jill. He’s your cousin’s little one, isn’t that right?” she asked.
“Yes he is,” Jill affirmed.
“How old did you say he was?”
“He’s two,” Jill replied.
“He’s big for two. In fact Tyler is about the same size and he’s nearly five,” Lorie remarked but she didn’t appear to be phased by the revelation.
“Yes. His parents are big people. His father vanished just after he was born and my cousin, as I said, is battling cancer. In fact she’s very ill at the moment so that’s how come I’ve got him. She’s not expected to survive and she wanted me to have him before she went. I’ve had him about a month. And as I said the other night his grandparents are not in a position to care for him. Their health fluctuates,” Jill explained.
Madison was intrigued with the story Jill was spinning. It sounded very plausible to him. He looked at this woman. She appeared to believe what Jill was saying. He fidgeted in her arms. He could feel her pat his padded bottom as she continued to gush over him. Madison wanted to be with Jill so he did the only thing he could think of. The only thing a young child would do when confronted by a stranger and feeling ill-at-ease with the situation; he started to cry. Madison’s bottom lip started to quiver. His dummy slipped out and he let out a bellow. Lorie got the surprise of her life.
“Oh dear what have I done? He doesn’t like me,” she said in disbelief. Jill reached in and gathered Madison.
“Come to Mummy darling,” she soothed as the small boy was passed over. “It’s alright Lorie it’s not you. He’s very shy and clingy. He’s not used to other people. It has taken me nearly two weeks to get him used to me and now he won’t let me go,” she explained trying to placate her friend. Jill cuddled the weepy Madison. She swayed slightly to and fro in an effort to settle him. Picking up his dummy she rubbed it over his lips. Madison took the soother and started to suc-k frantically. Jill rubbed his back. “Shhhh it’s alright sweetie Auntie Lorie won’t hurt you….” she said.
Lorie moved in and rubbed Madison’s back in sympathy. “Course not,” she soothed. “Not such a dear wee boy.”
Madison lifted his head and looked at his ‘mother’ with teary eyes. Jill picked up the corner of his bib and dabbed his eyes. Madison continued to sniffle. He snuggled his face into her neck. He wanted her protection and comfort. Just then a small boy appeared beside Lorie. He was about the same height as Madison although he appeared to be heavier. He had black hair like his mother and sister which fell over his head in uncontrolled curly locks. His face was oval with dark eyes and smooth white skin. He was wearing a black sweat shirt with the same colour shorts, white ankle socks and dirty white trainers. Jill did a double take because she was sure she detected a nappy bulge inside his shorts. The boy took his mother’s hand.
“What’s da matter Mummy?” he asked looking up at his mother. “Who dat baby?” he continued.
Lorie ruffled her son’s hair. “It’s okay sweetie. It was just Madison crying. That’s Auntie Jill’s new baby boy,” she explained. Tyler peered at Madison.
“Can he pway wif me Mummy?” the small boy asked.
“I don’t know darling, maybe. Come on sweetie let’s go back to Kate,” she suggested and took the boy back to where her stroller was located.
Jill followed carrying Madison and pushing the empty stroller. Tyler clambered up onto an empty chair. “Hop off sweetie so Auntie Jill can sit down,” she said to the boy.
“Awwww…” he whined then slid off the seat and headed for the shelter of his mother. Lorie picked her son up and sat him on her lap. Jill sat down swinging Madison onto her lap. Jill noted immediately when Tyler sat on his mother’s lap he opened his legs revealing clear plastic pants and a white nappy packed inside. She said nothing waiting for an opportune time. Lorie manoeuvred her stroller until Kate was closer and part of the gathering.
Madison rested his head on Jill’s shoulder. He felt very secure with her arm wrapped around his waist and the other hand idly rubbing his legs in a reassuring way. He surveyed the scene before him. The shopping centre was alive with activity and pervaded by noises and sounds which invaded the senses. Madison eyed the boy opposite unsure as to how he would react to him. He fidgeted on his mother’s lap then turned to her nuzzle her breast. Jill felt his reaction and looked down then without saying anything she undid her jacket, opened her blouse releasing her breast. Madison let his dummy drop from his mouth and took the warm soft nipple and started suc-kling the reassuring, nutritious milk. Jill watched as her baby took the proffered nipple. She adjusted him as he started to nurse his slurps and sniffles telling her that her baby was getting her milk.
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Part 38
A piecing voice stirred Jill’s attention away from her baby. “Mummy what she doin’?” Jill looked up to see Tyler pointing in her direction and looking questioningly at his mother.
“Jill are you feeding him?” asked an astonished Lorie.
Jill readjusted Madison again slipping a hand in between his legs and started gently patting his nappied rump. “Yes I am,” she affirmed. “I have too.”
“What do you mean you have too?” inquired Lorie surprised at her reply.
Jill took a deep breath. “Well it like this. His mother was nursing him when I agreed to have him. One of the conditions my cousin’s social worker put in place was that I had to continue nursing him. She said it would help with his transition and make it easier for him to bond with me. So before I could take him home I had to visit my doctor to get some medication to induce lactation,” Jill explained.
“You fed Bethany didn’t you?” cut in Lorie.
“Yes I did. The doctor believed that a small amount of medication combined with Madison nursing would eventually bring my milk in. So I had to visit my cousin regularly so I initiate the feeding process. It took a number of frequent visits until I was able breastfeed him properly even then I couldn’t take him home until I had achieved a constant and regular supply of milk. Once that happened I was able to bring him home. And as you can see it has worked and I can feel the strong bond that is developing between us,” described Jill.
“What did his natural mother think about that?” inquired Lorie clearly intrigued with the story.
“Actually it was her idea. She knew she had to stop feeding him but didn’t want to wean him also she was losing her milk quite quickly because of the strong regime of medication she was on, so was very supportive and encouraging,” explained Jill hoping the details she was adding would make the lie more convincing. She was scrutinizing Lorie intently as she developed the story. She appeared to be swallowing ever word. “The sad thing about the whole affair was my cousin didn’t want to give Madison up but circ-umstances were forcing her to do so. When I last saw her just over a week ago my cousin had been moved to a hospice and was going down hill rapidly. The doctors are saying that she has only weeks to go,” added Jill with a hint a drama in her voice.
Madison heard every word and was intrigued with the extent this woman was going to explain his presence and seal off his past and reinvent his life. He didn’t mind. At present her breast milk was comforting, he was enjoying being in her arms and nursing. As far as he was concerned everything was playing out nicely and he was enjoying drifting into full baby mode. It suited him. He wriggled in Jill’s arms and felt her give him a loving squeeze. He opened his mouth further allowing her nipple fill it and the warm milk to trickle down his throat. He loved the reassuring pats on his padded baby rump his ‘mother’ was giving him.
Suddenly Tyler’s shrill voice interrupted the scene. “Mummy do you do dat?” asked Tyler. Lorie laughed at the innocence of her son.
“No darling not now,” she chuckled giving him a squeeze. “But Mummy used to. Do you remember when I used to let Kate suc-k on my boobie?” she asked her son. He nodded somewhat doubtfully. “And I used to let you,” she explained to her son.
“Eeeww no you didn’t Mummy,” Tyler expressed in surprise.
“Yes I did darling but you were probably too small to remember,” she responded.
The small boy sighed in relief. “Kate has da bottle now doesn’t she Mummy?” he replied.
Lorie chuckled again. “Yes darling she does and so do you,” she said giving his ribs a jab causing him squeak and squirm. Lorie laughed with him.
“Mummy can I go to da pwaygwound?” Tyler asked in a small voice.
Lorie looked benignly and lovingly at her son. “Of course you can darling,” she replied.
“Tan Wadison tum too?”
“Well I don’t know sweetie that’s up to his mummy,” she replied. Then she leaned closer to her son. “Why don’t you ask her yourself, okay?” she said quietly to him.
“Otay,” Tyler whispered and slipped off his mother’s lap and approached Jill.
Meanwhile Jill had heard the exchange but had also been focused on Madison. Madison had heard the exchange as well. Occasionally he peered sideways up at his ‘mother’ and was met with an adoring smile. He continued to enjoy the warm soft nipple in his mouth and soothing milk as it trickled down his throat. He wriggled in her arms savouring the warmth and security they offered. Jill smiled as Tyler sidled towards her.
“Hello sweetie,” she said kindly.
Tyler drew closer and peered at what Madison was doing.
“Baby sweep,” he said.
Jill chuckled. “No sweetie he’s just having a drink.”
“He’s dwinking Mummy,” Tyler called across to his mother.
Lorie laughed. “I think I know that honey. You mustn’t shout Tyler,” she chided him good-naturedly. Tyler stood and looked towards his mother for encouragement. “Go on,” she coaxed.
“What would you like to ask, Tyler?” inquired Jill.
“Can Wadison pway wif me in da pwaygwound?” he asked pointing in the general direction of the children’s play area.
“I’m sure he would like that when he’s finished his milk,” Jill said kindly to the boy. “How about you go there and we’ll find you, okay?”
“Otay.” And Tyler skipped off quite happily. Just then Kate bellowed diverting everyone’s attention towards her. The little girl looked from
Lorie to Jill and back again with a big grin behind the shield of her dummy then kick her feet and tried to get out of the stroller. Lorie laughed as she freed the struggling infant.
“Did you think Mummy had forgotten about you precious?” she cooed to her daughter as she lifted her onto her lap. The little girl sat there momentarily before wriggling to free herself again. Lorie helped the small girl onto her feet. Jill watched as the young toddler stood unsteadily on her small feet before toddling towards her then back to her mother with a satisfied expression on her face. She buried her face in her mother’s lap before looking up at her. Lorie beeped her on her nose. “I know you think you’re a clever girl, eh?” she said lifting the small girl into her arms. Jill noted her very padded bottom cover with pink ruffled panties. Lorie kissed her daughter affectionately. Something caught the little girl’s eye and she pointed in its general direction. Lorie swivelled to look to where her daughter may have been pointing. “Oh you want to go where your brother is,” she observed. Kate clearly understood what her mother had said because she started to jiggle in her arms. “Alright honey as soon as wee Madison has finished his feed,” she said to her baby. The small girl looked towards Jill and pointed. “That’s right darling that’s wee Madison Auntie Jill’s new baby,” she said carefully to her daughter. The small girl looked at her mother.
“Bubba,” she gurgled.
Lorie laughed. “Yes sweetie it’s a baby.”
Jill looked down at Madison to check on his progress. She noticed that he had stopped nursing and was just tonguing her nipple. Leaning down she kissed the side of his head. “Has baby finished?” she said softly. Extracting her nipple she slipped it out of sight and lifted Madison until he was sitting on her lap.
Madison had enjoyed the feed. He didn’t really need it but it was nice to be close to his ‘mother’, to hear her heart beat, to feel her body warmth radiating and to feel her soft nipple caress his tongue and palate, but more importantly to hear her explain how he was in her presence. The breast milk was a bonus, a nice bonus. Jill wiped his mouth with his bib.
“Has he had enough?” asked Lorie trying to control her wriggling toddler.
“Yes. He just needed a top up,” she replied. “Didn’t you gorgeous?” Jill added directing that last comment in his direction. Madison gurgled as Jill slipped his dummy in place.
Little Kate still continued to wriggle and squirm in her mother’s arms wanting release. “Alright missy fidget let’s get you to the playground.” Lorie stood and headed in that direction. Jill lifted Madison in her arms and headed in the same direction.
The playground was a miniature array of slides, tubes, ladders and platforms which small children and some not so small wriggled, climbed, slithered and crawled through and around its various levels and forms. Jill watched the other children play as Madison clung to her. She saw Tyler appear momentarily in one of the tunnels before happily vanishing again.
Kate continued to squirm and wriggle in Lorie’s arms before her mother put her on her feet. Jill smiled to herself as the small toddled towards a ladder before turning to look at her mother and scamper back giggling. She grabbed her mother’s legs before venturing back again. Jill sidled closer to Lorie as she watched her children play.
“Are going to play?” Jill asked Madison. He looked at his ‘mother’ then at the equipment. He wasn’t sure. It all looked enticing but he was not sure about the other children. Jill gently placed Madison on his feet. He clutched at her legs while watching the other children. He saw Tyler appear at the top of a fort before vanishing landing in a laughing heap at the bottom of a slide. Jill giggled at his antics joining Lorie in the amusement. Jill leaned closer to Lorie.
“Is Tyler wearing nappies?” she ventured to ask in a low tone not wanting to embarrass her friend or appear too nosey.
“Yes.”
“Oh isn’t he a little old to be,” inquired Jill.
“Yes he is but I won’t let him go to public bathrooms by himself. And he refuses to let me take him to the ladies,” explained Lorie with a chuckle. “It’s okay when Jason is with us he’ll take him to the men’s but when he’s out with me it’s different so I just put him in a nappy that way I take him to the baby change when I take Kate.”
“Doesn’t he object?” asked Jill a little surprised.
“No not really. He’s still in night nappies so to him it’s no big deal. I suppose I’ll have to ease up once he gets to school age because he’ll have to use the school facilities,” replied Lorie somewhat matter-of-factly. Jill nodded in understanding. There wasn’t much Jill could say or do to counter Lorie’s treatment of her son because, after all, her ‘son’ was actually ten years old and not the baby being portrayed.
Madison still clung to his ‘mother’. One thing was certain though he could feel an impending bowel movement. Presently Tyler appeared again and ran up to his mother.
“Mummy! Mummy! It’s fun!” he shouted. Lorie grabbed her son before he knocked his sister over.
“Slow down darling,” she said smiling at her son’s exuberance. “That’s great!” The boy was flushed and looking excitedly at his mother. He started to dash towards the playground when Lorie caught him. “Why don’t you take Madison sweetie?” she asked. Both boys looked at each other.
“That’s a good idea,” cut in Jill. Madison didn’t think so, so clung tighter to her. “Go on darling you go with Tyler,” Jill coaxed gently.
“Just be careful Tyler he’s not rough like you. He’s a baby,” warned his mother. Tyler tentatively approached Jill and Madison then took Madison’s hand pulling him towards the equipment. Initially Madison resisted but the boy was determined so he complied and waddled away looking back at his ‘mother’ as he did so. Lorie was pleased. “Aww isn’t that sweet,” she gushed. Suddenly she sprang forward and grabbed Kate who heading towards the exit. “Oh no you don’t miss muffet,” she giggled as she carried the struggling little girl back towards Jill.
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeee…….!!!” screeched the toddler not wanting to be impeded by her mother.
“God you’ve got to have eyes in the back of your head with this one. She’s got no fear the little toad,” Lorie informed Jill as her daughter struggled and screeched in her arms. “If I put you down missy you stay with Mummy,” Lorie said to her daughter. The baby girl giggled as Lorie put her down. Little Kate toddled towards the playground but with each step she watched her mother hoping for a chance to slip away again.
Jill was watching the play equipment. Tyler had dragged Madison through one of the tunnels. She was anxious about how he would cope. It was apparent to her that he was very clingy, almost a ‘mummy’s boy’ but that was what she wanted. Finally he appeared at the top of a slide. She watched as he slid down and landed with thump on the floor. Madison let out a squeal. Jill raced to him and picked him up cuddling him close. He was panting but appeared unhurt. Very soon a red faced Tyler was at her feet giggling. Madison started giggling too. He was enjoying himself. Jill was so relieved. She put him on his feet. Madison toddled towards the ladder then stopped. Jill watched as Madison’s face grew intense.
………….
Madison clung to his mother. Tyler was trying coaxed him to take on the equipment but he was apprehensive. Also his bowel was demanding attention. Suddenly Tyler grabbed his hand and although he tried to resist he was dragged to a tunnel and pushed through. Panic set in as
Madison found himself in the confined space. The tunnel was stifling with the lingering smell of stale child sweat and stale clothing clinging to the walls. He could hear the shrieks and screams of other children clearing enjoying themselves in other parts of the maze. He had no choice but move on further onto the apparatus. Tyler was following behind cajoling and pushing. Finally he reached an opening and his heart lurched as he realised how high up he was. He could see his ‘mother’ on the ground below talking to Lorie and looking about for him as well. He really wanted to poop badly now. He panicked as he was pushed by Tyler down the slope. The wind appeared to rush past his face and everything became a blur as he careered down the slope to land with a bump at the bottom.
He squealed when suddenly the reassuring hands of his ‘mother’ gathered him to her bosom. He felt so relieved. The giggling of Tyler near him stirred his senses when he realised that it was fun despite his fears. He started to giggle as well more out nervousness than anything. A reassuring kiss from his ‘mother’ and he was planted on his feet. He watched Tyler scurry away again and decided to follow but with more circ-umspection this time. He had just reached the ladder when his bowel erupted and warm poop oozed into his nappy.
……………
Jill was stirred from her attention on where Tyler had gone and her eyes fell on her ‘baby’.
“I’d recognise that look anywhere,” giggled Lorie.
“Oh god baby not now,” Jill breathed.
“Oh you know the drill Jill anywhere, anytime,” Lorie continued to giggle.
“Yeah I know Lorie. Now it looks like I’ve a messy bum to clean,” said Jill trying to make light of the situation. She watched as Madison stood motionless with the tell-tale look of a baby filling his pants. Secretly she was pleased. This basic babyish behaviour was the perfect reinforcement of his baby situation. Madison was playing his part with aplomb.
Madison was oblivious to his surroundings. His only focus was to get rid of the waste his body didn’t need. He grunted and pushed adding more mess to his nappy. Madison didn’t mind poopy nappies. He was used to them now. He knew his ‘mother’ would lovingly change him. He knew all too well it was an essential part of his life now. He was, after all, a baby. He knew his ‘mother’ would be pleased. Madison felt his bladder empty as well. Eventually his bowel felt more comfortable. Gingerly he waddled towards his ‘mother’ acutely aware of the mess smearing itself over his bottom.
“That reminds me I suppose I’d better check my two. I’m sure Kate will be wet and Tyler’s bound to be,” said Lorie rousing Jill from her musings.
Finally Tyler appeared. “Tyler!” called Lorie. “Come here dear.” Tyler heard his name being called and headed towards his mother.
Jill smiled adoringly as her ‘baby boy’ waddled towards her. When
Madison reached her she lovingly caressed his head.
“Was that fun sweetheart?” she asked. Madison looked up at her his dummy still firmly in his mouth. He wanted to tell her that he had pooped his nappy but he was a baby so he would wait until she detected the odour or decided to do a check. Jill leaned over her boy. “Aww Maddie have you got poopy nap-naps baby. Here Mummy check,” said Jill caressing the seat of his pants. She undid the straps to his trouser then pulled the back of them out. Madison stood patiently his face close to her chest as she stooped over him. He could detect the odour of milk and wanted more. He touched her breast as Jill pulled out the back of his nappy. She smiled to herself at his natural infantile desire. “Soon darling,” she cooed. “Stand still angel.” Jill peered down into the back of his nappy. Her nose was hit by the pungent odour of fresh poop. She could see the yellowy-brown concoction smeared over the white cloth and his buttocks. She let the nappy go and refastened his trousers. Standing up she raised her eyebrows at Lorie who was watching then sighed.
“Poopy?”
“Sure is, aren’t you angel,” chuckled Jill. By this time Tyler was nearing his mother.
“Whatcha want Mummy?” he asked.
“Come here sweetie Mummy wants to check your nappy.”
“I’m okay Mummy,” he responded.
“You may be okay but I want to check now come here,” Lorie said with more edge to her voice. Tyler recognised the sign and stood in front of his mother. Her face softened and so did her tone. “Have you got wet nappies sweetie?” she asked sweetly.
“Yes Mummy but…” he responded.
“But what dear?”
“I gotta go poos too Mummy,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Oh okay sweetie. You go poo-poos in your nappy then Mummy can change you. Auntie Jill has to change Madison and Mummy has to change your sister,” Lorie explained.
“But Mummy…”
“It’s okay sweetie Mummy won’t be cross,” she said sweetly to her son.
Jill was amused by the exchange. Lorie was encouraging her near five year old to fill his nappy.
“Okay,” replied Tyler. “Mummy has Madison done poos?”
“Yes he has sweetie, now come on,” she said holding out her hand. Jill picked up Madison while Lorie took Tyler over to where Kate was playing. She picked up her struggling daughter and headed back to the strollers.
Jill kissed Madison affectionately on his cheek as she followed. “Is Maddie a stinky baby?” she said playfully nuzzling his neck. Madison giggled then looked at his ‘mother’ and shook his head. Jill laughed. “I think you are baby. Yes I do.”
By the time she reached the stroller Lorie was placing Kate in hers. The small girl was protesting the whole time. Tyler stood beside his mother.
Jill decided to leave her stroller by the seats and grab Madison’s nappy bag.
Just then Tyler whined to his mother. “Mummy…” Then stopped and started to grunt. Jill watched as the four year old’s face coloured up as he pushed to fill his nappy. Lorie looked at her son.
“Good boy,” she praised.
After a couple more pushes Tyler regained his composure. “I pooed Mummy like you said.”
“Yeah thanks Tyler I needed to know that,” smirked Lorie. Grabbing her son’s hand she said, “Right let’s change some bottoms then we can have lunch.” And they headed towards the baby change rooms. Jill followed with Madison in her arms and a nappy bag over her shoulder.
The room was large, spacious and brightly lit. There were a series of brown vinyl benches, some hand basin, two large couches and two toilet cubicles.
“You go first Jill while I sort out these two.”
Jill took the nearest bench and laid Madison down. Madison looked at Jill as she leaned over him. He felt at ease. He should have felt self-conscious especially after having messed his nappy in public but being in her presence filled him with confidence and reassurance. He allowed his legs to flop open as Jill gathered the things she needed. Meanwhile Lorie was arranging two sets of nappies for her children.
“Right My Poopy Britches,” she remarked to Tyler as she picked him up and laid him on the bench next Madison.
“I sorry Mummy,” Tyler whimpered and he started to cry. Madison watched for Lorie’s reaction as he felt his ‘mother’ widened his legs and start undoing the button in the inner legs and crotch of his trousers. Lorie appeared to be surprised by her son’s reaction.
“Awww no darling don’t cry Mummy’s not cross sweetheart,” she soothed leaning over her son and kissing his teary face. “Mummy’s only joking sweetie.” Tyler tried to wipe the tears away with his hands. “Tyler can be quite sensitive,” Lorie quietly remarked to Jill. She turned to her son. “Come on honey it’s alright. You show Mummy what a good boy you are and lie still,” she soothed.
“Am I big boy?” he whimpered.
“Of course you are darling. You’re Mummy’s big helpful boy, aren’t you?” Lorie said trying to placate her son. “You’re always a good boy for Mummy, aren’t you?” she continued easing his shorts down.
Madison watched as the pair of black shorts exposed a pair of clear plastic pants hiding a thick cloth nappy. He could feel his own plastic pants being opened.
“See Tyler look at Madison his Mummy’s changing his nappy. You show him how good helpful boys behave,” said Lorie trying to reassure her son. Tyler looked at Madison. Madison averted his gaze and focused on Jill. She was just removing his nappy pins. She smiled reassuringly at him.
“Who’s a good baby boy?” she cooed to him. Madison smiled around his dummy. He was of course. He was trying to be the best baby in the world. Madison glanced back towards Tyler as his mother was unpinning his thick cloth nappy. As Jill raised his legs to clean his bottom so too did Lorie. She had Tyler’s legs over his tummy and was wiping his bottom. Madison could see the brown mess smeared over the other boy’s nappy.
Of course the smell from both boys filled the room. Meanwhile Kate was protesting in her stroller.
Finally Jill cleaned Madison’s bottom, smeared it with baby oil and baby powder before slipping a fresh nappy under his upturned posterior. Madison sighed as he felt the thick warm soft cloth being pulled up between his legs. Jill smiled at him acknowledging his desire. She now knew that Madison liked and wanted his nappies. Finally it was snugly pinned in place, the plastic pilchers were domed in place and his trouser pulled down and all the buttons closed. Madison watched as Lorie pinned another nappy on Tyler, slipped his plastic pants in place followed by his shorts.
“There,” sad Lorie picking her son up and giving him a warm cuddle. “All better sweetie.” The boy nodded and smiled at his mother. “Now you wait beside Mummy while I change your sister.” At the same time Jill finished with Madison. She picked him up and placed him on his feet. He clutched at her while she packed everything away and washed her hands. When Jill was satisfied that everything had been accounted for she sat on one of the couches. Madison followed and clambered up beside her. He crawled on to her lap. Jill cradled him and opened her blouse again. Madison grew excited as the luscious breast came into view. He latched onto the nipple and started drawing out the warm milk.
Jill watched as Tyler sidled up to her and looked Madison nurse. The boy was captivated by the sight. Jill smiled at the boy. Tyler reached out to
touch her breast then pulled his hand away.
“It’s okay sweetie you can touch,” she whispered to him.
“Tyler! Are you being a nuisance,” Lorie stated.
Tyler jumped and looked at his mother. “No Mummy,” he replied.
“It’s alright Lorie he’s just watching Madison,” Jill reassured.
“Mummy da baby is suc-king da boobie,” stated Tyler.
“Tyler come here and don’t be nosey,” beckoned Lorie.
“He’s okay Lorie,” Jill reassured her. “He’s just curious.” Lorie came over to the couch.
“Come on sweetie you let Madison have his drink. Do you want a drink?”
“Not boobie,” cut in Tyler. Both women laughed and Lorie picked up her son.
“Come on scamp,” she chided lovingly cuddling her son. “Of course not boobie but Mummy’s got a bottle if you want that?” The boy nodded.
Lorie put Tyler down and rummaged in a bag under the stroller taking out two baby’s bottles, one had milk in and the other juice. “Here sweetie,” she said offering Tyler the bottle with the juice in. He took it and immediately started guzzling on the teat. She gave the other one to Kate who did the same. “Right! Some lunch,” announced Lorie.
“I’ll be with you in a moment,” replied Jill.
“It’s okay take your time I know Madison needs a feed,” acknowledged Lorie. “I’ll get some lunch arranged especially for these monkeys,” said Lorie referring to her own children. “What can I get you?”
“Don’t worry about me,” retorted Jill.
“Nonsense,” replied Lorie. “I insist. I don’t want to hear another word.”
Jill shrugged and Lorie left the changing room with her two children.
The room was now quiet. Jill was at last alone with Madison. She leaned over and nuzzled his ear. Madison smiled and wriggled keeping the nipple firmly in his mouth not wanting to interrupt the flow.
“You’ve been a good boy this morning,” she cooed. This comment made Madison feel good inside. “You’ve been a perfect baby for me,” she continued. “Lorie accepts you as a baby which is good,” Jill stated. Madison opened his mouth wider taking more nipple in and continued to suc-kle making little snorts and snuffles. “Is Mummy’s milk good darling?” she said softly. Madison nodded. As far as he was concerned it was. Jill placed her fingers on her breast to extract it. Madison started to whimper. “I know angel but you can have some more when we get out to the table. Mummy needs her lunch too you know,” she smiled lovingly at her baby. Madison reluctantly released the nipple. Jill tucked it into her nursing bra and rearranged her shirt. Placing Madison on his feet she took his hand and the nappy bag and slowly exited the room with Madison toddling beside her.
Jill reached the tables they had left earlier. Lorie’s was waiting beside her stroller. She had placed her stroller next to it with Kate lying inside drinking her bottle.
“Can you watch Kate while get some lunch,” she asked.
“Sure thing,” replied Jill. She noticed Tyler clutching his mother’s hand while stilling suc-king on his bottle. He seemed unperturbed by the fact. Lorie left with Tyler in tow.
Jill checked on Kate and the small girl smiled at her kicking her legs.
“You’re a gorgeous wee thing aren’t you,” remarked Jill in a tender tone rubbing the small girl’s leg.
-
Chapter 39
Jill seated herself again to wait for Lorie. Madison wanted to clamber up onto her lap again. Jill knew what he wanted.
“Come on darling I know what you want,” said Jill lifting the boy into place. Madison leaned back in her arms and waited while his ‘mother’ released her other breast. Jill smiled adoringly at the boy as he nuzzled in and started nursing. Jill sighed. She loved breast feeding. It made her feel fulfilled. She always enjoyed feeding Bethany but feeding Madison was different. His suc-k was so much stronger almost orgasmic. Jill firmly believed that her bond with Madison was getting stronger and stronger each day.
By the time Lorie returned with Tyler in tow Madison had taken enough milk and was sitting on his ‘mother’s’ lap. As Lorie set down the trays Jill removed Madison’s woolly hat and fluffed up his flattened hair. Tyler waddled towards Jill.
“Look what I dot,” he exclaimed waving a large gingerbread man cookie in front of Jill.
Jill smiled at the boy. “Aren’t you a lucky boy,” she gushed.
“Me like dis,” he remarked taking a bite and dropping crumbs to the floor. Kate let out a shriek from the stroller which got Lorie’s attention.
“I haven’t forgotten about you,” she said to her young daughter. “Now Jill I took the liberty of getting you a muffin and tea, I hope that’s okay?”
“Sure that’ll be great.”
“Now I also got Madison the same as Tyler. My kids like them,” Lorie explained.
“Sure he’ll be happy with that, won’t you baby?” Jill cooed to her boy.
Soon everyone was happily engaged in lunch. Madison suc-ked and chewed on the spicy biscuit. It had been long time since he had eaten anything like this, not since his own mother was alive. He enjoyed it, ignoring the fact that he was dropping crumbs and dribbling bits of biscuit as he ate. He was trying to eat like a baby and thought he was doing a great job.
Jill and Lorie talked about the trials and tribulations of toddlers over lunch while the children munched away quietly. Occasionally Kate would let out a squeal then look at everyone for attention. Jill was amazed by the change in attitude from Lorie. When she first met her when Bethany was tiny and Tyler a baby only a few months old, Jill had noticed how uptight Lorie was with Tyler. How fastidious she was with him and how firm she was in the belief that her baby was not going wear cloth nappies and how he was going to be toilet trained by two. How he was going eat proper food and not that processed rubbish. And as for takeaways they were definitely off the menu. Jill was amused as she reflected on the present the shift in belief and attitude was apparent. She was more laid back and didn’t appear phased about putting her four old in nappies or even stressing over what he was eating. Even her attitude to Kate was different. When Tyler was small she didn’t like him getting dirty and became frustrated when he spat food out. To see her now with Kate ignoring how messy she was getting her clothes was good to see. There was one question jiggling around in her mind – why was Lorie now using cloth nappies when she was so dead against them?
As the conversation started to peter out and Jill focused on Madison and putting stray pieces of biscuit in his mouth she decided to ask her friend.
“Tell me Lorie I’m intrigued how come you are using cloth nappies? I thought you hated them.”
Lorie chuckled. “Yeah you’re right I did hate them. Thought they were a lot of work. I know you swear by them, but I wasn’t,” she replied.
“Yes I do,” retorted Jill. “But why the change?”
“Well it’s like this,” responded Lorie leaning forward to pick a piece of biscuit off Tyler’s sweatshirt. “I have been whinging and moaning to Jason about wanting a big holiday and he said to me if I can cut down on one thing he would not take a car and bike to work instead so I took him up on the challenge. You know me Jill I’m up for any challenge,” laughed Lorie. “Well…anyway I decided to look at the grocery bill to see if I could cut anything from there that’s when I discovered that I was spending up to $50 a week on disposable nappies especially when you have a baby as well as a little boy still in night nappies. So I decided to buy some cloth nappies. It cost a lot for the initial outlay. Mind you I bought 6 dozen so I suppose it was a bit over the top, but anyway I haven’t looked back. I put away the money I was spending on disposables and at my last count I had saved over $500, so I was over the moon. Jason’s kept his part so our holiday fund is coming along quite nicely,” recounted Lorie.
“And how have the children responded?” inquired Jill wrapping her arms tighter around Madison.
“Fine. Kate certainly quick to tell me if she needs a change which is good because I think potty training her will be easy and as for rascal here…” paused Lorie to pull her son into a cuddle and kiss him on the head. “He doesn’t seem to care. I find I have to change him through the night which I didn’t with disposables. But I have noticed that he doesn’t get the nappy rash he used to get with them and I put that down to the lack of chemicals and the fact that I’m more vigilant when it comes to changing him. As I said Tyler is only in night nappies, oh of course apart from when I take him out,” remarked Lorie.
By this time Lorie was attending to Kate and Tyler had finished his biscuit and decided to crawl up on the chair beside Jill. Madison was starting to grow a bit restless. For some reason he was tired although he couldn’t understand how or why because he hadn’t really done anything. Jill sensed this and decided it was time to get him home. He had been out in the public long enough. Fortunately she had not seen any policemen to heighten her or his anxiety. She shifted Madison until he was cuddled against her front with his head on her shoulder. He sighed as his felt his nappy grow warm and wet.
“I think I’ll get going Lorie,” remarked Jill as she patted her ‘baby’s’ bottom. “Madison’s due for a sleep.”
“Yeah sure I’ve got to get these two home. Kate needs a sleep and I’ll try to encourage Tyler to do the same although I don’t like my chances,” she chuckled. Tyler slipped off his chair and crossed to his mother who picked him up for a cuddle.
“Look it’s been lovely to catch up,” said Jill. “We must do this again,” she suggested.
“Yes we must now we’ve got back together,” agreed Lorie as she was sorting out Kate in her stroller.
Both women parted amicably with an agreement to meet again. Jill fastened Madison in his stroller. As she pushed it slowly through the shopping precinct Madison started to doze. The next he knew he was being gathered out of his car seat. Madison looked around somewhat startled. They were back home. He buried his face into his ‘mother’s’ neck as he was carried inside. He was still sleepy and Jill could tell by his limp body. He knew his nappy was wet again. Of course this was nothing unusual. Madison could feel her gently rub his back as he was carried through the house and down to the nursery – his nursery.
“Mama…” he moaned.
“Shhhh I know angel Mummy will soon have her baby in his bed,” she cooed softly.
Lying him on the changing table she set about slowly and methodically removing his clothes. Madison rolled and fidgeted on the table. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. He couldn’t understand how he was so sleepy. Jill cast an eye over him. His behaviour and movement were definitely baby-like. One by one his trousers, sweatshirt, shoes, and shirt joined the growing pile of baby clothing. Jill leaned over her baby.
“Is wee Maddie a sleepy baby,” she crooned.
He held his arms up. “Mama,” he moaned.
“It won’t be long precious. Mummy just change her wee boy’s naps and then he can have some more sleep.”
Jill opened the pilcher. She smiled to herself. His nappy was yellow with pee. That’s my baby she mused. The nappy was unpinned, Madison wriggled as the cool wipes touched his nappy area, and within minutes he was powdered and repinned into a warm, soft dry nappy again. Jill refastened his pilcher. Slipping her arms under his armpits he was lifted and cuddled in her arms. Madison rubbed his face over her shirt then laid his head on her shoulder. Patting his padded bottom she carried him over to the cot and laid him on the soft mattress. Immediately Madison rolled over until he was lying on his stomach. He felt Jill rub his nappied bottom. Jill covered him with the quilt. By the time she lifted the side of the cot Madison’s eyes were fluttering. Jill was sure he was asleep by the time she left the darkened nursery.
-
Greetings everyone. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and the new year rewards you with all your hopes and desires. Now for another instalment.
Part 40
Slowly Madison opened his eyes again. He sighed. He felt warm and cosy. He wriggled under the quilt. He felt his wet nappy slither over his bottom. Madison noticed he was still lying on his stomach basically in the same position when he had been tucked in sometime beforehand. Madison could vaguely remember being carried through the house, having his nappy changed and being snugly tucked into his cot.
He looked around his environment. It was his cot now, his baby bed. He suc-ked his dummy as his mind replayed the events at the mall. He smiled to himself. He had put on a convincing display. The other woman honestly thought he was a baby although she did remark that he was bigger than your normal two year old but she seemed to happily accept his ‘mother’s’ explanation. Madison knew his ‘Mummy’ was pleased with him. He could sense it in her voice, feel it in her tender touch, warm embrace and soothing words.
His dummy played over his tongue. It was so soothing and comforting; certainly better than suc-king a thumb. He sighed again and allowed his fingers to lightly play over the bars of his cot. He wriggled again, turned his head so he was facing the pad which covered the bars on the other side. His eyes studied the panorama of pinks, whites, yellows and other pastel colours of ponies, rabbits and other furry animals. It was a pad more suited to a baby girl but what did it matter. He was a baby so, he supposed, it suited him. He hadn’t really taken any notice of it until now. The more he studied it the more he liked it.
Madison was comfortable, not only in the cot but in the house and now in this new family. He lay contentedly for a long time allowing his thoughts, visions and feelings to course through his mind. For the first time in many years he felt wanted and nurtured. Sure, he felt that with his real mother but, of course, he had been robbed of her. He allowed his legs to part as he dug his knees into the soft cot mattress. As he did so he gave a reflex grunt and slimy poop oozed into his nappy gathering between his legs and behind his nut sack. Madison could feel in slither out of his poo-hole. He stopped suc-king his dummy as a trance took hold of him. You know the trance of the pooping baby look. The fixed faraway look of ecstasy as the motion evacuated itself. Madison pushed himself slightly off the mattress with his hands and grunted again, more audibly this time, then panted before pushing and grunting with more effort. His nappy continued to fill and his bladder emptied its contents as well. Madison’s bowel still felt it had more to give. He panted rocking slowly back and forth until he pushed again with more vigour, more effort and louder grunts until the flow subsided then he sank back onto the mattress satisfied with his effort and continued to survey the scene on the pad. He surreptitiously wriggled his bottom inside his humid nappy and felt the slime and ooze move coating more of his bottom in the fetid mess. He sighed. He was content. Madison didn’t feel naughty or embarrassed. He was pleased. His bowel certainly felt more comfortable and he didn’t care what condition his nappy or bottom was in. After all he was a baby. Finally he turned his head to face the open bars and was surprised to see his ‘mother’ standing there.
………………….
Jill had been busy folding the vast quantities of nappies she had managed to get dry. At her last count there were thirty-three clean white nappies ready for use. She smiled to herself at how much washing her ‘new baby’ had generated. She was pleased. This confirmed in her mind that she was a great mother. Good mothers, as far as she was concerned, took great care of their babies so generating a lot of washing. She did a quick mental calculation of how many nappies Madison was using each day.
She raised her eyebrows then stroked the fluffy raised nap of one before she folded it. Her baby was using more than eighteen a day she smiled to herself.
Jill had already glanced in on Madison three times since she had put him down for his sleep. Each time she noted he hadn’t moved from where she had first placed him. Moreover she noted how peaceful and serene he looked; almost at peace with himself and the world. In fact she was sure she detected a slight smile of happiness behind his dummy. She glanced at the kitchen clock as she placed the last folded nappy on the acc-umulated pile. It was nearly 4.30. She didn’t want him to sleep much more or he wouldn’t sleep that night. Jill decided she’d do one last check.
Silently she made her way down the hall and ever so carefully pushed the door to the nursery open. The room was dim with its closed drapes but certainly not totally dark. Picking her foot falls carefully she made her way across towards the cot and stopped looking at her baby. He was facing away from her looking at the designs and picture on the bumper pad. She could see his fingers tracing one of the pictures and examining the texture of the material. He looked gorgeous. Then she saw his bottom rise slightly as his feet moved under the quilt and heard the unmistakeable sound of a baby filling its nappy: her baby filling his nappy. Jill put a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle that was threatening to spring forth. As far as she was concerned it was so cute. She watched spellbound as the quilt moved and the little padded bottom wiggled. She heard the pants followed a firmer and more forceful grunt. Sudden she saw him rise on his hands, head slightly down, dummy bobbling furtively in his mouth as he bore down on his tummy and grunted again this time with more force and louder. Jill smiled broadly as his head dipped until his forehead rested on the mattress as he panted and gave one more concerted grunt before slipping down onto the mattress to continue fingering the pattern on the pad. It was a gratifying sight to see her little boy, her ‘new baby’ fill his nappy like it was the most natural thing to do. She drew nearer to the cot just as Madison turned his head.
Madison tried not to look startled. How long had she been there? He didn’t hear her enter. Had she just witnessed his infantile display? Madison felt a hot blush of temporary embarrassment at what he had just done, rise up his face. He could feel the bulky sticky mass pressing over his bottom as his nappy stuck to him. He tried to remain nonchalant.
Madison looked at the beaming face of his new ‘mother’ and smiled around his dummy.
“Hello beautiful,” Jill cooed as she started to lower the side of the cot. Madison raised his hand to her. Jill took it caress his fingers. “My gorgeous boy’s had a big sleep, haven’t you darling?” Madison wriggled. Jill let his fingers slip and caressed his warm head. “Gosh what a lovely warm baby,” she crooned. Madison rubbed his face into the soft mattress.
Jill left the crib and retrieved all the necessary items to change his nappy. She knew she had poopy nappy to change. She thought it was sweet that Madison had tried to remain nonchalant at what he had done. That was proof to her that he was settling into his baby place very well. She dumped the supplies at the end of the crib. Madison watched her the whole time. It surprised him that she wanted to change him while lying in the crib. Goose pumps rippled over his skin as he realised that that action would regress him even further into babyhood. He smiled to himself. He didn’t care. He liked being a baby. It made him feel wanted and that was all he wanted or was it?
Jill peeled the quilt away revealing her baby. Madison shivered slightly as the warm cocoon was removed and cooler air flowed over his skin.
“Come on my angel turn over so Mummy can change your nappy,” Jill said warmly as she helped roll Madison on to his back. Immediately Madison allowed his legs to flop open leaving the soaked and messy cloth bunched between his legs. “Did Mummy’s baby have a good sleep?” she cooed. Madison nodded. He had. Madison detected the poopy aroma wafting from him so surely his ‘mother’ would know what he had done. Jill smelt the odour as soon as she turned Madison over. She smiled at him and was secretly thrilled with his babyish condition. Everything was tracking nicely as far as she was concerned. Madison was slowly and steadily regressing to full baby status. She patted the mound between his legs and Madison automatically tried to close his legs but of course with the packed wet cloth bunched between them it was a futile operation. “I think my baby’s got poo-poo pants for his Mummy, hasn’t he?” she crooned. “Let Mummy see darling.”
Slowly Jill undid the pilcher and fanned it out. Madison’s nappy was soaked. Deftly she removed the nappy pins and pulled the urine soaked cloth away from his groin. He was a foul stinky mess. “My, my baby you have been busy in your nap-naps for Mummy, haven’t you?” she said sweetly with happiness dripping through her voice. She wasn’t angry at him just pleased. He had done what she wanted and had expected. Madison was relieved with tenor of her voice. Carefully and methodically she cleaned him up, removed the foul garment and after a generous massage of baby oil and powder a fresh clean nappy was pinned in place. Jill left Madison lying in the crib while she disposed of everything and washed her hands.
Madison watched her leave with his dirty nappy and all the other items but made no attempt to move. He continued to lie in his crib and wait for her return. He was content.
Jill returned a few minutes later and Madison had not moved from where she had left him in his crib. Leaning over him she smiled.
“Is my baby going to get up?” she said sweetly. Madison lifted his arms to meet her. He wanted to be lifted. Jill obliged lifting him out of the crib, giving him a warm cuddle then depositing him on his feet. Taking his hand she guided him out of the nursery.
Madison waddled beside his ‘mother’ down the hall and into the warmth of the lounge. He dropped to his knees and crawled across the carpet to the mound of toys in the centre of the floor. Jill watched with pride and pleasure as his padded bottom wiggled as he crawled away from her. She entered the kitchen to prepare his dinner.
Madison sat on the lounge floor surrounded by the toys. His dummy bobbled in his mouth as he fingered a soft toy beside him. His attention was caught by the swaying trees beyond the window. Madison twisted around and then crawled over to the glass. Using the couch near him he pulled himself to his feet and pressed his face close to the cool glass. White and grey clouds were scuttling across the sky. The wind whipped the trunks and branches of the trees and shrubs around the garden. It had already begun to strip some of the tree bare of their leafy mantle. Madison ignored his toddler-like appearance mirrored in the glass. He was looking for something or someone.
Occasionally the swift movement of leaves driven by the wind caught his eye then he watched as tiny eddies caused the leaves to swirl and bank up in corners of the garden or under trees. Suddenly a flash and flit of feathers caught his eye. There it was his favourite little fantail flitting to and fro in haphazard lines amongst the branches and leaves. Its unpredictable flitting path kept Madison spellbound. What was it looking for? He didn’t know. Would it find what it? Again, he didn’t know. Maybe it was like him hunting for something it had lost. Madison had lost the dearest thing to his heart – his mother. His search for her would be endless and consume his psyche. Would he find a mother? Maybe he had but he wasn’t sure. Maybe that was what the little grey bird was looking for as well. Perhaps it had lost its mother and was desperately looking for one. Madison sighed. He felt like that little feathery creature flitting around in his mind looking, looking, looking, searching, searching, searching in an endless internal journey. Madison felt his very being was lost, his soul was lost and he knew not where to look. Sure he had found a haven. The warmth and security this haven was providing and beginning to satisfy his hunger for acceptance but he wanted his mother; his real mother. Madison also knew that that was a forlorn hope. She was dead but that still didn’t stop him from pining for her. This other woman, this Jill, she appeared to be a mother, or had been. Would she be what he was looking for? Would she take the place of his mother? Would she be the same? He wanted her to be the same as his mother because his mother’s touch, voice and warmth was all he had left to use as a basis for comparison. So far some of the things were slowly fitting together. This Jill was starting to compare. ‘Please little bird help me find what I am looking for,’ he mused. ‘Is it safe here? You seem to like this garden so maybe it is safe,’ Madison thought to himself. Time will tell. He sighed and as he did so his nappy suddenly grew warm and wet.
Jill turned away from the bench to see what her ‘baby’ was up to. She smiled to herself as she watched him gazing out the window. ‘What was he looking at or for?’ she wondered. What she certainly knew was that a visit to the local market was a must. Her fresh food stocks were low. That would be tomorrow’s task. Jill loved visiting the Scargill market, not only for its fresh produce but also the other items of interest that were present. What she knew to was that it would be crowded because it was exceedingly popular. It was a very public place where strangers were in close proximity, thus Madison would have to blend in. She knew exactly how and what form that would take.
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Sorry for the delay in posting more. Here's another instalment of the Jill and Madison saga, apologises it is so short.
Part 41
Madison lay on the soft blanket and revelled in the warmth from the fire cocooning his naked body. He had just had a deliciously warm bath. His skin was soft, damp and pink. His ‘mother’ was kneeling close to him preparing his clothing. He wriggled and his fingers explored his small tool. The nipple of his dummy danced over his tongue. ‘It was amazing,’ he thought to himself, ‘I have to have it. My mouth feels empty with it. It is so comforting.’ His suc-ked more vigorously. Madison liked the way the shield slapped against his moist lips. He watched his ‘mother’ fold a nappy, his nappy. Nappies were now something he couldn’t do without. His control of both his bladder and bowel had gone.
Jill smiled at her pink little boy lying before her. Typical boy, she thought, always checking his peenie to see if it’s altered. She recalled Tyler doing the same when Lorie changed him while in Jill’s presence. Jill lifted Madison’s rear off the soft blanket by the ankles and slipped the freshly folded nappy into position placing his bottom in place she picked up the baby powder. Madison already had his legs open waiting for his nappy. Jill smiled indulgingly at his infantile behaviour. Perfect, she thought, her baby was coming along nicely. Brattling to him softly she pinned the nappy closed. She watched as Madison half closed his eyes. Yip, she mused definitely hooked now. Slowly and methodically Jill slipped the rest of his night clothes in place, the yellow baby pants, the yellow woollen booties and finally the soft, fluffy nightie. All Bethany’s of course but perfect for her baby. Gently lifting Madison clear of the floor she enveloped him in her arms.
Madison felt deliciously warm. Although he was dressed in baby girl night attire he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned he was now nestled in his ‘mother’s’ warm embrace and that’s what he liked. Jill could feel her baby nestle into her. She allowed her hand to slip under his nightie and started caressing his bulky bottom. Occasionally her fingers brushed the fluffy nappy caught outside his baby pants. Jill didn’t bother tucking those ‘stray’ bits of nappy away she loved seeing those pieces showing. It gave her goose bumps when she saw them. It also gave her darling sweet Madison a more babyish look.
“Mmmmm such a beautiful smelling baby,” she murmured to him.
Madison felt his inner self glow. He rubbed face over Jill’s shoulder. Slowly, while still on her knees she opened her shirt, and pushed up her lacy nursing bra. Madison could feel her movements but choose to ignore them. He felt his dummy being removed and tried to fight it. Finally it plopped out. Jill guided her damp nipple to Madison’s lips and pushed it there. Madison gave a mewl of delight, took the proffered morsel and started suc-king. Soon his mouth was filling with his ‘mother’s’ creamy nectar.
Jill looked down at her nursing baby. He was still partially propped up in the floor leaning into her his small body wriggling against her. She placed a hand behind his head to support it the same way a mother supported her newborn. Madison had his small arms partially around her waist and Jill’s other hand was supporting his bulky bottom. She had never fed Bethany like this. This was new. Madison allowed his eyes to gravitate upwards and caught his ‘mother’s’ gaze. Jill’s eyes met his and she saw the contented baby. She noted his sensuous lips spread over her breast. She hitched him slightly higher. Jill passed her lips over Madison’s head inhaling his sweet baby aroma; the baby shampoo, the sweet baby powder, the lingering fragrance from the nightie and, of course, the scent of her milk. It was all intoxicating. Jill felt so happy. This was what she really was – a fantastic mother nurturing her sweet dear very contented baby. Ever so gently she moved his legs from the floor and gradually lifted his small body until he was cradled in her arms. Throughout the whole manoeuvre she hummed softly to him and kept, through her skill, her nipple in his mouth.
Madison was initially alarmed when he felt his legs being moved and his body briefly rotate. He was relieved that through the whole process his ‘mother’s’ nipple remained in his mouth and her milk flow uninterrupted. Madison also felt his eyes grow heavy as well. He didn’t want this happen, he wanted to remain in her warm embrace, to feel the warmth radiating from her body, to hear her heart beat and wallow in her embrace, but above all he wanted her milk. He knew he shouldn’t. He was meant to be nearly ten but at the moment he was nowhere near that, and quite frankly he didn’t care.
Jill slowly stood up her baby firmly cradled in her arms. God he was a beautiful child. Her mind kept swinging back to the thought. Jill’s thinking wasn’t being coloured by the way she was treating him. Sure Madison did look adorable but then so do all babies. No, it was apparent to her that if you stripped away the trappings of babyhood and looked at Madison, the individual, the child, the person; then he was a beautiful child. His wavy blonde hair, the long black eyelashes, the deep brown eyes and the baby-soft pale skin all combined to give him an angelic appeal. She couldn’t understand how anyone, especially his father, would want to harm and damage the boy. Jill got the impression from little Madison said that his mother certainly doted on him. It was evident that she valued her son’s angelic appearance.
Jill continued to hum to him as she slowly rocked him in her arms. She noted how his nightie had ridden up exposing the fleeting glimpses of his nappy and the soft skin. She watched with amusement how his long slender legs twitched and how he rubbed his bootied-feet together the same way a young baby would. She noted to how his eyes seemed to flutter and his suc-king, always still firm; was gradually slowing.
Madison wriggled and as he did so his bladder spasmed and warm pee soaked the front of his nappy and wicked between his legs. He ignored it and focused on getting all the milk he could.
Jill slowly walked down to the nursery. Madison was sleepy she could see that. She knew he’d be wet but resisted the urge to change him she’d do that later. By the time she was standing beside his crib Madison’s eyes were closed. She didn’t have the heart to remove her nipple. She could still feel him give the occasional furtive suc-ks but eventually they ceased. Easing her nipple from his mouth she laid him in the crib. Jill expected him to stir and protest but none was forthcoming. Adjusting his nightie then wiping his mouth of excess milk with a tissue she eased his dummy between his lips. He took it stretched and then relaxed. She eased him onto his tummy, gave his nappied bottom several loving caresses before covering him with duvet and lifting the side of the cot. Jill lingered for a few minutes gazing at her sleeping ‘baby’ and drinking in his image. She lent over the crib rail and gently brushed a lock of hair on his brow. He was deliciously warm and she smiled to herself when fidgeted and suc-ked vigorously on his dummy before setting. God he was he adorable. She sighed and quietly left the room leaving her ‘baby’ to sleep.
As Jill busied herself in the lounge tidying away the baby rug and baby supplies she contemplated what she was going to dress him in the following day. It was market day and she needed to replenish her stocks especially fresh produce now that she had a baby to nourish. Jill knew she had to be extremely careful with Madison in so public a place. The close proximity of people made recognising him a distinct possibility. In her mind she ran through the wardrobe of clothes she had at her fingertips. She had beautiful little girl’s clothes which she knew he’d look adorable in. She was also mindful how he hated being dressed as a girl but in her mind desperate situations required desperate remedies. The doubt which existed in her mind was how much opposition would Madison put up? She didn’t want alienate him. She certainly didn’t want him to resent her. After having got him this far she didn’t want to sabotage it. It would take careful and skilful work. Jill thought she was up to the challenge.
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Here we are everyone I've managed another chapter to my saga about Madison. Hope you like it. Sorry it's been a long time coming.
Part 42
About an hour later Jill stole into the nursery. There was sufficient light from the dim night light to see what she wanted once her eyes grew accustomed to the dimness. On impulse she padded softly across to the crib to check her ‘baby’. She smiled adoringly at his supine form. Madison had kicked off the duvet and rolled onto his back. His small hands where beside his head, palms up, open. His nightie was bunched around his waist showing his pink tummy and very bulky nappy. Madison’s legs were akimbo and Jill could make out the white of his nappy between his legs and around the backs of his thighs. She resisted the urge to slip a finger inside his baby pants. Jill knew he’d be wet but decided to wait until he woke later wanting comfort. It had happened a couple of times already and Jill wanted it to become a nightly occurrence. She wanted to have regular nightly feedings a firm part of his routine. This was one of the avenues she intended to take to ensure that he was totally dependent on her.
She sighed. ‘Gosh he’s a beautiful baby,’ she said to herself and wrapped her arms around herself. She just wanted to pick him up then and there and cuddle him for ever but she resisted the urge as tempting as it may have seemed. Carefully she slipped over to the double wardrobe and fossicked amongst the dresses and other items hanging on display. She smiled to herself when she found what she wanted. ‘Yes,’ she said to herself, ‘he’ll look adorable in this.’ Jill carefully laid it beside the changing table for the morning. She selected several other items to go with it. She thought they would match perfectly. Closing the doors quietly she stole another look at her sleeping baby, checked the baby monitor its green blinking light flashed reassuringly at her, before creeping quietly from the nursery pulling the door behind her.
She sauntered down the darkened hallway towards the lounge and the waiting basket of ‘baby’ laundry, her baby’s laundry. Lovingly, and with exquisite care she carefully folded all the nappies ready for her baby, the bibs, and other clothes. She cast an eye around the lounge and the soft glow from the fire illuminating it casting flicking shadows around the room. She gazed at the row of nappies which hung stiffly from the airier drying. She ran her fingers over a couple. Not quite dry yet but they would be by the morning. Outside, she could hear the dull rustle of the trees as the cold wind shook their boughs. Before leaving the room she checked the fire ensuring it would give continuous warmth throughout the night before retiring.
Madison’s eyes flickered and danced. He was asleep, in a deep sleep but a troubled sleep. Somewhere in the deep depths of his subconscious his bladder emptied its warm contents into his nappy ensuring the little boy was now very wet. His pacifier bobbling furtively in his mouth as images coursed through his mind. He tossed his head from side to side and whimpered as images of his leering, drunken father lurched towards him.
“Come ‘ere you fuc-king little shit,” he slurred as he shot a large hand towards the cowering boy. Warm pee soaked his shorts from fright and he let a piercing scream.
Jill sat bolt upright as the piercing scream stabbed her consciousness. She knew at once her ‘baby’ was in peril he needed her now. She flew out of bed her warm feet scurrying across the cool carpeted floor and into the nursery. She could hear and see her ‘baby’ tossing and turning, squealing and whimpering at some nightmarish image. She fumbled with the crib locks until it dropped with a clatter. She swooped into the crib and gathered up her troubled ‘infant’. Madison mewled louder as Jill clutched him to her ample bosom.
Madison suddenly felt a lifting sensation which only increased his heightened agitation. Someone had grabbed him, his father, the monster, who? Then he became aware of a soothing murmur piercing his subconscious.
“Shhhh little one Mummy’s here baby...shhhhhh...there...there,” it soothed.
Madison blinked his sleepy eyes as he became aware of the now familiar smell of his ‘new’ mother. The familiar touch of those soft, maternal reassuring hands; the familiar warmth from the soft, calming body and the now familiar maternal scent of warm breasts and cosy nighties, all assailed his senses and stripped the nightmare from his consciousness.
“Mummy,” he whimpered.
Jill clutched her frightened, dream ravished baby to her chest wrapping her arms around him like a protective shell. “Mmmmm it’s Mummy my darling. You’re safe now little one. That nasty man won’t get you,” she murmured reassuringly to her baby.
Jill carried her little boy back to the warm haven of her bed gathering a dry nappy on the way. She laid the frightened, whimpering boy on the soft bedding. Madison sank onto soft mattress and let out a long sigh and started to weep softly.
“Make the man go away,” he wept.
Jill’s heart went out to the troubled, frightened little boy. “It’s alright my darling he won’t get my baby,” she soothed as she opened his baby pants. “You’re safe here with Mummy now.” Madison wriggled and squirmed almost as if he was trying to evade her careful ministrations. “Lie still little one,” she soothed. “Mummy needs to fix her little baby’s very wet nappy. Lie still little one. Lie still. That’s a good baby,” she said very softly.
Madison obeyed the soft, lulling reassuring voice. A voice he was now very familiar with, a voice of reason, calmness and reassurance, a voice of security and warmth, a voice belonging to his ‘new mother’, the woman who had given him shelter, given him hope and become his salvation.
Jill noticed at once how his body had calmed and she was quick to praise him. “What a good baby aren’t you Maddie? Such a good baby for Mummy, aren’t you?” she cooed. “Yes you are. Yes you are,” she continued answering for him.
Madison could feel her reassuring fingers remove his baby pants and extract the nappy pins from the saturated cloth. He felt the firmness of the wet cloth slacken around his hips then cool air hit his damp nappy area as the nappy was opened.
Jill was surprised at how wet he was, then again she was secretly pleased. He was now totally nappy dependent at night and gradually heading that way during the day. It was all part of her plan for him - total dependence on her. “Awww...what a wet baby Mummy has, hasn’t she?” she crooned rhetorically as she wiped his bottom and boyhood with a couple of baby wipes. Lifting his bottom clear of the bedding she slipped another warm, white, fluffy nappy in place, thoroughly creamed his bottom before dousing it in fragrant baby powder.
Madison rubbed his eyes as he tried to focus on Jill’s face. Through his sleepy haze he could see the reassuring countenance. He noted to firm yet adoring demeanour as she pinned his nappy closed. He sighed. He felt safe. Jill’s eyes flicked towards her baby and she smiled. Madison smiled back. “Mummy,” he squeaked.
Jill’s heart leapt. He was now calling her ‘Mummy’ which was what she wanted. She was a ‘mummy’, a very good mummy, the best mummy in the world, the perfect mummy for him. “Yes my darling it’s Mummy,” she cooed in response.
Closing his baby pants she primped his nightie before lifting his warm limp body into her arms. She carefully slipped into her now cool bed and laid her baby beside her. Jill had decided that he was going to stay with her the rest of the night. And hopefully he’d nurse off and on reinforcing his baby persona. Madison watched his ‘new’ mummy slip into bed beside him. He wriggled on the mattress his thick freshly pinned on nappy slipping over his bottom. He loved being with her, being wrapped in her arms, being cocoon from the outside world and its inherent dangers. He squirmed towards her as Jill made herself comfortable and placed the bed covers over both of them to regenerate the lost heat.
Jill smiled at her baby as she reached out to him and pulled him into her chest. “I know what my baby wants,” she said softly as she opened the front of her nightie revealing her milk laden mammary.
Madison found himself mewling with delight. He didn’t mind breast milk now. To him it told of reassurance, security, lost love and nourishment. He just couldn’t get enough of it. Jill sighed as her baby suc-kled. Pulling him closer to her warm body her hand found its way to his thickly nappied bottom and started to caress it. In the darkness of the night she sighed and dozed as her baby suc-kled caressing her nipple with his strong tongue as she heard him swallow.
Jill’s eyes flicked open. More light had now penetrated her room. It was daylight, another day in the making. Jill looked beside where her baby lay sleeping peacefully. She didn’t have the heart to return him to his crib so she left him in bed with her. Anyway she loved having him on her breast. After all it was where he needed to be, where he belonged.
Jill’s memory lingered over the forgotten memories of Bethany and when she was little. She delighted bringing the squirming bundle of joy into her bed to enjoy feeding her. The trouble was Bethany wouldn’t stay all night. She wriggled so much that Jill was forced to return her to her crib. But not Madison. He was different. Jill knew now she could take him into her bed and he would stay and nurse to his heart’s content. And Jill was unconcerned how much sleep she got she enjoyed the sensation of her suc-kling baby and didn’t care if he nursed all night, after all only good mothers do that for their babies and Jill was a good mother. That was fine by her.
Her eyes surveyed his soft baby-like features. Carefully she flicked a blond lock across his forehead. He stirred. Madison’s pacifier moved vigorously in his mouth. She remembered feeding him during the night. This was exactly what she wanted to do. It had been the fourth night in a row that he had woken or stirred, often he was dreaming, but it didn’t matter to Jill. She wanted him to wake. She wanted to instil a firm night feeding regime and it appeared to be working. Whether his subconscious wanted her or whether he wanted the nourishment she didn’t know. What she did know was that children starved of nourishment or food consistently crave it. It was with this notion that she building her night feed regime on.
Jill watched Madison intently. She couldn’t fathom why anyone, a parent especially, would want to hurt and damage such a precious gift. To her children, babies were a gift from heaven, a precious gift, a sacred gift; a gift to be cherished and protected. It was almost as if Madison’s untimely arrival had been a gift from God in her hour of need. God had bestowed on her this gift lying beside her because He knew she would cherish Madison. It was almost as if Madison was a deserved replacement for her dear sweet Bethany. She watched as her baby stirred and wriggled kicking his feet and tossing his head. Carefully she lifted the covers and smiled to herself as his bootied clad feet shuffled just like a newborns. She watched as he suc-ked hard on his pacifier. Maybe it was a sign he wanted feeding again. She hoped he did. She intended to anyway. A part of her wanted to wake him and clamp him to her breast, another part wanted him to wake by himself. She wanted to see his adoring eyes as the locked onto her image. She wanted to be the first thing her baby would see when he woke.
Jill noted his nightie had ridden up exposing his soft, tender, pink tummy. She could see the top of his nappy as it peered out from his baby pants. She was certain that he would be wet. He certainly wasn’t poopy not that she could smell but hoped he would be soon.
Jill smiled to herself as her baby mewled in his sleep. Maybe he was waking. She hoped he was. Jill made herself comfortable, watched her baby and waited.
Outside, Jill couldn’t hear any wind. Perhaps it was going to be a good day. She needed a good day so she could visit the market and get much needed fresh supplies. Her mind rested on the darling dress she had sorted out for him to wear. She knew he would look adorable and that’s what she wanted. It was a tremendous risk taking him out in public especially if the police were looking for him which she felt they should be by now. A check of the newspaper later would confirm her suspicions one way or the other.
Madison slowly rose from his deliciously warm slumber. No more nightmares, no more frightening images, no more agitation and upset. He stretched and squeezed his legs together his wet nappy becoming jammed between his thighs. Madison could feel he was wet but what did it matter. He didn’t need to be frightened of waking up wet anymore. His father wasn’t there to chastise and beat him for yet another wet night. His ‘new mummy’ had put him in nappies and expected him to be wet. What he liked more than anything was that she was never cross or upset if he was wet. She just changed his nappy and made him comfortable again like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. His eyes flicked open and he came face to face with his ‘new mummy’.
“Mummy...” he squeaked at her.
Jill smiled broadly at her baby. “Good morning my darling,” she cooed.
“Mummy...” he squeaked again as he wriggled towards her.
“Mummy’s right here precious,” she replied pulling him gently towards her. Madison snuggled into her chest. He could smell the milk in her nightie mixed with other odours. Its presence stirred something in his stomach causing it to growl. Jill smiled to herself her baby was hungry. Opening her nightie she revealed her milk laden breast again. Madison suc-ked feverishly on his pacifier at the sight of soft creamy skin, its dark nipple and aureole drawing him towards it. Jill removed his pacifier trailing a thin string of saliva in the process. Jill watched at her baby wrapped his pink lips over her nipple and aureole and started to suc-k. Madison mewled in delight as warm milk splashed over his tongue and hit his throat. He swallowed gratefully.
Jill lightly kissed his blond locks inhaling the mixture of baby shampoo and morning baby. She loved the smell of morning babies. Bethany always had the same air about her - that mixture of baby powder, pee, milk and sleep. Now Madison had the same aroma. She pulled him closer as Madison opened his mouth wider to take more of her nipple.
“Mmmmm...” Jill murmured to her baby. “Mummy loves her baby. Mummy loves her baby very much,” she repeated. Madison wriggled with delight as he basked in her endearments. Apart from his own mother, this person was the first to tell him they loved him. Just then Madison’s bowel rumbled and as he suc-kled warm mushy poop gurgled and oozed into his already wet nappy. Madison no longer cared. To him it was the right thing to do. He was a baby now. Jill smiled. Her baby had just filled his nappy.
...........................................
Jill scrapped the last of the oatmeal out of the bowl and pushed it into Madison’s open mouth. Scrapping the dregs off his chin and bib she pushed that in as well. Madison smacked his lips. It was great. His tummy was really full now, first with breast milk now with oatmeal. He now had all the food he wanted. “Was that nummy?” Jill cooed to her baby.
Madison squeaked and banged the tray of the high chair enthusiastically, “Yeah,” he chortled. “More.” Jill laughed.
“I don’t think so darling. I’m sure you’ve got a full tummy now,” she grinned. Madison pouted but not for long. She was right. He was full.
Jill attacked his face with a damp cloth while Madison squirmed and mewled trying to evade her just like a baby. Finally the assaulted stopped. “There, one clean baby boy,” Jill announced satisfied before sniffing the air around him. “Awww...Maddie have you done poopies again,” she asked lovingly.
Madison blinked at her. He knew he had. I had happened while she was spooning his oatmeal in. It had just happened without any effort on his part. One minute he was happily rolling the warmed cereal around his mouth the next thing he knew warm poop was oozing and squeezing its way up between his butt cheeks and legs coating his boyhood in faecal slime and smearing its way across the soft folds of his nappy.
“Have you little one,” Jill asked.
“No Mummy...more...” he squeaked thrusting out a hand at the empty bowl.
Jill laughed at the innocence of his response, a typical baby response. “I think baby has,” she chuckled moving the bowl out of his reach. “There’s no more.”
“Milk!” he chirped.
Jill sighed. “Alright sweetheart just a little bit,” she conceded. Opening the high chair she lifted her baby into her arms and carried him into the warm lounge. A poopy fug had enveloped him. She cradled him in her arms before opening her nightie again and allowed her baby to suc-kle. Jill was pleased. Madison was coming along nicely. As far as she was concerned after almost a week with her he was now a baby. That’s exactly how she wanted him.
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Jill carefully laid Madison on the changing table. She had to be carefully not to move him too much otherwise he would vomit with the amount in his stomach.
Madison lay there gazing around the room, his room, his nursery. His eyes fell on Jill. She was just like his mother, gentle, loving, sweet and adoring. As the days as progressed Madison had found himself drawn more under her spell. She was everything his mother had been and more. Just like his mother she totally accepting of him. She knew he was a bedwetter so had put him back in night nappies. She knew he had pants wetting trouble during the day so had put him back in day nappies. Now he was totally nappy dependent. He was not sure if his mother would have gone down that track. In fact he knew she couldn’t because his father saw to that. But Jill was different. She had taken him down that track totally. Madison knew in his own mind it was the right course of action. He found it almost impossible to keep his pants dry. His mother was always loving and tender when she discovered them and cleaned him up and helped him change. Those days when his father was away a warm reassuring nappy was pinned in place instead. Yet...Jill was taking him further; much further than his mother had ever done. Jill had now taken him completely down the baby path. She treated him like a baby right down to breast feeding and high chairs. And despite Madison’s initial apprehension he allowed it to happen and now, a week after being ‘discovered’, he was totally immersed in babyhood. Jill had said it was better in order to keep him safe in case his father or the police should come knocking. That may be so but neither had appeared as yet. But Madison also knew there was still time. Both could still make an appearance and his life would be cast asunder. ‘No,’ he mused as he lay on the changing table, ‘I like this. I like this a lot. I have all I ever wanted - a mummy, food, warmth and a sanctuary.
Jill scanned her baby’s face wondering what was going through his mind. She scanned his now naked body. The bruises were fading. The scars were still there but less pronounced. The urine burns he had arrived with had almost gone leaving a red scar which would fade over time. His skin had more tone. It was pink, soft and healthy. His hair had a shine to it and was now light, soft and wavy with beautiful blond curls and waves. In fact his hair was better than Bethany’s. Hers had been straight. ‘Yes,’ she believed quite firmly, ‘he was a gorgeous baby and that’s how she intended to keep him.’
Jill rubbed baby oil into his skin. Madison closed his eyes as he soaked up the actions of her fingers. He was calm and relaxed. ‘Perfect,’ thought Jill, ‘now for the next phase which is not going to be easy.’ Jill knew what she had planned for today was necessary if she was to fulfil her promise to him of keeping him safe.
“Madison...honey...are you listening to Mummy?” she asked softly.
Madison’s dreamy eyes focused on her smiling face. “Yeth Mummy,” he lisped adoringly around his pacifier. Jill got goose-bumps when she heard that gorgeous baby lisp.
“Mummy has to go out to the market today darling,” she said. “Of course Mummy has to take her baby with her.”
Madison shook his head. “No Mummy...I stay here,” he squeaked. Jill could tell from his tone that he was unhappy.
“Oh no darling you can’t stay home. Babies can’t stay by themselves they’re too little,” Jill explained carefully. “Don’t fret my angel Mummy know exactly how to keep my baby safe but you have to help, okay?” she asked sincerely. Madison nodded uncertainly. “Good boy,” she praised. “You’re such a good baby for Mummy, aren’t you?”
“Yeth...” he replied a slight waver in his voice.
Jill smiled disarmingly at him. “Of course you are,” she agreed. “Now darling Mummy has some special clothes for you to wear so people won’t know it’s Madison, okay?” she added softly not wanting to upset him more. Again Madison nodded uncertainly. “Good boy,” she cooed. “First Mummy put you nappy on and your baby pants, okay?” she smiled at him.
Madison knew the ritual by now he spread his legs inviting his Mummy to nappy him. Jill recognised the invitation immediately and was thrilled by it. Within a few minutes his bottom had been creamed, powdered and a thick nappy pinned in place with yellow tipped nappy pins. Jill picked up a pair of frilly yellow baby pants. Madison’s eyes widened. “No Mummy no!” he squealed. “I’m not a girl!”
“Of course you’re not darling. I know that. I see that every time I change your nappy so don’t upset yourself,” she tried to soothe. “You want Mummy to keep you safe, don’t you?”
Madison nodded diffidently. “Yeth Mummy.”
“Well this is how Mummy’s going to do it. Mummy’s going to dress you up as pretty little baby Madeline,” she tried to explain.
Madison wasn’t having a bar of it. “No! No! No!” he cried. Jill picked him up immediately and cuddled the distraught baby.
“I know honey. I know it’s not fair but it’s the only way precious,” she murmured to him as he sobbed into her shoulder. “You don’t want to be taken away from Mummy, do you?” she said softly.
“No...” he sobbed. Jill could tell his resistance was waning.
“Of course not honey. Mummy would be upset and so would baby, wouldn’t he?”
“Yeth...” he sobbed.
“Of course he would. Remember what I said the other day darling. You will always be adorable Madison at home but when we go out you’ll to become precious little baby Madeline until everything is safe. Now I don’t know how long that will take but in the mean time it is important to keep you safe. I can’t leave you with a baby sitter that would be dangerous,” she added then the image of Lorie sprung to mind. She would make a good baby sitter but Jill also knew she would have to prepare that ground very carefully before she could enlist her help. “So is little Madison going to let beautiful baby Madeline come out today, eh?” she added carefully. Madison didn’t respond. “Is beautiful baby Madeline coming out today?” she asked again.
Madison nodded. Inwardly Jill breathed a sigh of relief. Another bridge crossed she thought to herself. “Good boy,” she praised. “What a brave baby.”
Carefully Jill laid Madison back on the changing table. She touched his nappy. It was still dry. Carefully she slipped the yellow frilly baby pants up his slender legs and eased then over his bulky nappy. She adjusted the legs holes leaving glimpses of white cloth showing and fiddled with gusset between his nappy splayed legs until it was sitting over the padding of his nappy. She smiled to herself. At least the plastic lining would keep his dress dry.
“Sit up baby,” Jill said slipping her hands under his armpits. Madison sat in front of her and looked down at his splayed legs. He could see the yellow baby pants stretched across his packed crotch and some of the frills at the legs. Jill picked up a yellow singlet and eased his arms into the holes and the garment down his body. She primped it at the shoulders until it was sitting right. Picking up a pair of white socks these were slipped over his feet followed by a pair of white Mary-Jane shoes which were buckled in place. Finally, Jill picked up the soft cotton baby dress and slipped it over Madison’s head. She guided his arms into the long sleeves then adjusted the dress until it fell to his waist and flowed over the tops of his legs. She preened and primped the frills until they sat alluring on the baby garment. The look on Madison’s face spoke volumes. He was not happy that was clear and Jill sympathised with him but desperate means called for desperate measures. She fastened the small buttons down the back and adjusted the frilly collar until it was sitting just right.
Jill was surprised at how well it fitted him. This dress had been a gift from old Mrs Wright down the road. She had given it to Bethany as a birthday present when she turned four but Jill didn’t have the heart to put it on Bethany considering it too babyish, besides it woudn’t have fitted Bethany anyway. She was a big girl for four. But now it was perfect for this baby, today. Finally, Jill picked up a soft white woollen cardigan and slipped it on Madison fastening the three buttons in the front at the top. Picking up the hair brush she preened his hair until it was shiny and organised in soft waves and curls before clipping a cute yellow ribbon in one side. Standing back she admired her baby ‘girl’ while Madison stared glumly at her. He was absolutely beautiful. Picking him up she planted him in her hip and carried him into her bedroom to the huge mirror on the wardrobe door.
Planting Madison on his feet she turned him towards the mirror. Madison gasped at the image. There, staring back at him was an adorable little toddler girl. Her blond hair adorned with a yellow ribbon. She was wearing a soft white baby cardigan, flowing yellow dress with frills of lace down the bodice and around the hem, which fell to mid thigh length. Showing below the hem was a pair of yellow frilly baby pants obviously bulging with a nappy. On her feet a pair of dainty white socks and white Mary-Jane shoes. Madison fingered the hem of the dress and his pacifier seemed to bobble quite animatedly in his mouth. Madison was captivated by the image. He couldn’t believe it was him. Jill crouched down beside him and primped his baby pants and dress then caressed his bulky frilly bottom and stroking the white nappy showing below the legs of his baby pants. Jill loved to have nappy showing. As far as she was concerned it added to her baby’s cuteness. That was why she preferred cloth nappies over disposables. You couldn’t get the same effect from the plastic nappies. All her babies had to wear cloth nappies they were more appropriate as far as she was concerned.
“Hello baby Madeline,” she cooed softly. “Welcome back.”
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Nappy1 I was very happy to see your post and knowing that life goes on, even if it is filled with tribulations. I was especially happy to hear that you plan on adding to this wonderful story. As I said in a previous post, I am delighted with this story and it's aspects of love and caring, tenderness and the way that Madison is coming around to realize that he is a 'baby'. As well as Jill's desire to continue bringing him up as a baby.
I hope that life doesn't keep you down and that you come out on top in all your pursuits!
Take care of yourself and always move forward!
Tender Kisses and a great big Hug!
Danieboy
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What a wonderful story. So incredibly well written!! The detail is so amazing. Thank you so much for writing this and please please continue..
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I just wanted to wish Nappy1 and all his fans a happy new year. May our 2019 be filled with clean diapers, warm breasts, and most of all, loving mommies :)
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Thank you Nappy 1 for your cute story! You let us feel whith Madison how wonderful it is to be loved tenderly and unconditionally.
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Saw that Nappy1 was online, and since there isn't a direct message system, I just wanted to say hello, and that I hope all is well.
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Wow, just missed the 9th anniversary of this epic :) Its amazing that after all this time, I still come back to it regularly. Its like Nappy1 reached into my dreams and pulled out a story.
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I still am very excited, and waiting anxiously for a further post: Nappy1 seems to have stopped completely
Ohh how I wish this one was continued - Nappy1 has hit a chord in my heart with this lovely, tender and sweet story.
is there any more ??????
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14 years of this amazing and emotional epic :) I always hope to see it continued, and I hope Nappy1 is happy and healthy.
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Nappy1
Thank you for a delightful and tender story. how nice to see Maddison settling in to his new life. Looks like Mummy Jill is planning to keep him in nappies for a long time. Look forward to time he is finally transformed into an adorable baby girl and his subsequent growing up.http://
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This is one of the best stories ever. What more can i say?