Betty Pearl's Sissy Stories 20.1
Sissy Story Archives (older stories) => 2011-2018 Sissy Stories => Topic started by: Alana on January 31, 2017, 06:21:54 PM
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My Summer as a Girl, by Alana
Back when I was fifteen years old I got into trouble for shoplifting
some videos games and CDs and a few other things from the mall. My
mother drove me home from the security office. She was livid.
I was wondering what my punishment would be. School was over, and we
were soon to drive out to the lake cabin for the summer. My friend Tom
was going to join us there. Maybe I wouldn't get to go. Although that
could be cool, getting to spend the whole summer away from my mother and
my sisters at home.
My three sisters, Melissa, Melinda, and Melanie, talked with my Mom in
the next room while I waited in my bedroom. They were talking about me,
and I heard my sisters giggling like crazy. That couldn't be good.
My Mom came into the room, all smiles. My sisters were behind her.
"Johnny," she said, "we have the perfect punishment for you. For
shoplifting, we've decided that you're going to be dressed like a girl
all summer."
My sisters burst into laughter.
"What? That's crazy! What kind of a stupid punishment is that?"
"Your sisters' idea."
"You used to make fun of us all the time when we had to wear dresses!"
said Melanie. "Now it's payback!"
"You'll wear Melanie's dresses, and sometimes my dresses," said my
mother.
"I'm not wearing anybody's dresses! I'm not doing it!"
"Suit yourself," said my Mom, and left the room, followed by my sisters.
Well, that was easy.
The next day I put on a T-shirt and shorts and rode my bike out to the
mall. When I got home, all my clothes were gone from my closet. Nothing
but dresses in there.
"What's going on?" I yelled. "Where's my clothes?"
My mother came in the room.
"Those are your clothes, for the summer," she said.
"What did you do with all my pants?"
"We put them away for awhile. A pretty girl like you should never wear
pants."
My sisters came in and stood behind her.
"You can't do this!" I cried.
"Can't we? We've done it. And you might as well take off those shorts
and that shirt. You won't be needing them."
"I won't do it!"
My mother and my sisters attacked me and stripped me of my clothes.
Melinda grabbed a dress and forced me into it. They all laughed at me.
"You'd never get away with this if Dad was still alive!" I said.
"But he's not," said my Mom, which I thought was really heartless.
I spent the day in that stupid dress, looking all over for where they'd
hidden my clothes, and not finding them.
At the end of the day, I said to Mom, "Mom, if you're really going to do
this, at least let me call up Tom and tell him not to come. I can't let
him see me like this!"
"He'll love you in a dress. You two can go on dates together."
"Why are you being so mean?"
"I think you'll remember this the next time you feel like shoplifting."
But that was nothing compared to what I had to wear the next day. We
were getting ready to head on out to the lake cabin, and they put me in
not only a dress, but lingerie, pantyhose, high heels, make-up, and a
wig. Mom made me wear one of her dresses, a polyester snakeskin print.
I cowered in the back seat all the way to the cabin. Every time we
stopped for gas I stayed in the car and hid my face. At least we didn't
have to stop for any meals.
When we got there, we unloaded the car and carried everything in.
Melissa, Melinda, and Melanie got to wear shorts and tanktops, and I was
the only one in a dress. Usually I would be sharing a room with Tom, but
because I was a girl now, I would have to share with Melanie.
And then Tom's father dropped off Tom. I didn't go out to meet him. I
was dreading what he'd say.
He came in and looked at me in surprise. He stared at me like he
couldn't believe it. He looked at my mother, then back at me.
"What's going on, here? Why is he dressed that way?"
"Meet Joanie," said my mother, and all my sisters laughed.
"What?"
"That's his punishment for shoplifting," said Mom. "He's going to be
Joanie for the entire summer. You'd better start calling him that."
I stood there with my arms folded.
"OK, go ahead and make your stupid jokes. You might as well get started
now. You've got the whole summer to make fun of me."
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(Alana had difficulty uploading her pix -- dang this new fangled 1990s technology. So I uploaded & inserted the pix in her order on the story for her)
"I wasn't going to make fun of you."
"Why not?" asked Melissa, disappointed.
"Just because everyone else is being mean doesn't mean I have to be."
He asked where his bedroom was, and my mother showed him. He took his
suitcase in there and unpacked.
We ate dinner, and afterwards played some board games. I was miserable.
When we went to bed that evening, Melanie undressed right in front of
me, in the bedroom we shared. I asked her to unbutton my dress. She just
stared at me.
"Unbutton it yourself, Joanie," she said, and laughed.
"Come on, don't be mean. Unbutton me."
"Take off your own dress."
"Mom!" I yelled. I went and found her bedroom. "Mom! Melanie won't
unbutton my dress!"
"You have to learn to do these things yourself, now that you're a girl,"
said my mother.
"Do you want me to sleep in this stupid dress? Because I'll do it!"
"Go ahead. It's polyester. You can't wrinkle it."
I knew my other sisters would be just as mean. So, rolling my eyes,
dreading what he would say, I knocked on Tom's door. He opened it and
looked at me.
"Unbutton me."
"What?"
"Come on, don't be a dic-k. Unbutton my dress."
I presented my back to him.
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He unbuttoned me. I thanked him, standing before him holding my dress in
place as it was falling off my body, not wanting him to see any more of
my lingerie than was absolutely necessary.
"Thanks for not making fun of me," I said.
"I think you look really pretty."
"Oh, go to Hell!" I said, and clomped off down the hall in my high
heels.
The next day I had to put on Melanie's stupid little dolly dress.
Putting it on and seeing my sisters laugh insanely actually made me
grateful I got to wear my mother's dress the previous day. I never
thought I'd ever be grateful I got to wear my mother's dresses.
I was too young to shave, so I didn't have to worry about that. Mom and
the girls supervised me as I put on my make-up.
After breakfast they put me up on a pedestal, literally, and wanted me
to pose with a doll while they took pictures of me!
"Why are you doing this?" I asked miserably. "What did I ever do to
you?"
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"Flipped up my skirt," said Melissa.
"Snapped my bra strap," said Melinda.
"Now smile, Joanie," said my mother. "Smile, or we'll never let you down
off this thing."
I smiled, and they took pictures for over an hour.
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My sisters and my mother wore comfortable shorts and tops and sandals. I
was the only one in high heels and a dress.
When they were done they let me get down. As soon as Mom left, my
sisters started flipping my skirt up and snapping my bra strap, all the
things I used to do to them.
Fleeing from them, I went down to the dock where Tom was sitting in a
deck chair, fishing. He turned when he saw me coming. He looked upset
about something.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I wanted to do some fishing. Why, what are you so upset about, all of a
sudden? I'm the one stuck in a dress, here."
"You didn't have to tell me to go to Hell."
"You didn't have to make fun of me."
"I wasn't making fun of you. I said you looked pretty, and you do. I
didn't notice before, there's pictures of dolls all over your dress.
That's a really cute dress you're wearing."
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"Stop saying I look pretty! I do not look pretty! I'm a boy! Boys don't
look pretty!"
"You do. Why can't you just accept a compliment? I'm not making fun. You
look pretty in a dress. By the way, your slip is showing."
I was going to get mad until I looked down and saw that the wind was
blowing my skirt up. I held it down. I smiled and thanked him. At least
he was laughing at me like my sisters.
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I said, "Why don't we take the boat out and go fishing?"
He said it was a great idea. He got the boat ready, and I went and got
my fishing pole. He was just about ready to help me into the boat, when
Melanie showed up.
"Just where do you think you're going in my brand new dress, Joanie?"
"We're going fishing."
"Oh no, you don't. You're a girl now, and girls don't go fishing. It's
not ladylike."
"You go fishing."
"Not in a brand new dress, pantyhose and high heels, I don't. My dress
is going to smell like fish guts when you're done."
"It wasn't my idea to put on this stupid dress. We're going fishing. If
you don't like it, tough."
"Mom!"
Mom showed up to lay down the law. She agreed with Melanie. I looked at
Tom.
"Sorry. I guess you'll just have to go without me."
"I'm not going fishing without you. We'll find something else to do."
I appreciated that. He got out of the boat. We went back to the cabin
and played Yahtzee for a while. Then Mom told me it was time to help
with the housework around the cabin. She'd never made me do that before,
but of course I was a girl, now. She put an apron on me and made me
clean up.
The next day they put me in another of Melanie's dresses, again. As soon
as they got me in it they declared it was the perfect dress for a
picnic, and nothing would do but for me and Tom to go and have a picnic
together. They made me pack the picnic basket. Trouble was, they
couldn't find us a decent sized blanket to lie on, just a little red
covering from a tabletop, barely big enough for the two of us.
They sent us along the trail by ourselves to find a spot for a picnic.
Now I was really scared. We were leaving the property, and I was
frightened to death someone would see me in a dress.
Tom let me walk ahead of him while he carried the picnic basket.
"Let's not go too far," I said. "I don't want anybody to see me dressed
like a girl. If any boys see me like this, they'll beat me up!"
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(repaired image order)
"Why would they do that?"
"Why? Because I'm a boy in a dress, is why!"
"How would they know? You look just like a girl. No one would ever think
you're a boy."
I didn't know how to take that. I stopped and looked at him. He stopped.
I guess if I had to wear dresses, it was probably just as well to look
as much like a girl as possible. If I really did look like a girl.
"You really think I look like a girl?" I asked.
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"Not just a girl. You look like a breathtakingly gorgeous girl."
He wasn't making fun of me. I still didn't know how to respond.
"OK. I guess that's good. I guess."
I kept walking. I felt the breeze fluttering my skirt and playing about
my legs in nylons. I felt my skirt brushing against my fingertips as I
walked. It was not unpleasant. It's not so bad, wearing a dress, if
you're around someone who doesn't make fun of you.
We continued on until we found a spot. I spread the red covering on the
ground and got down there on my knees.
Looking up at him, I said, "Well? Sit down."
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He just kept staring at me with this goofy grin on his face.
I motioned him to sit down next to me.
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He just kept staring.
Finally, I angrily said, "Will you sit down already? I'm hungry!"
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He sat next to me. He began taking out sandwiches and we started eating.
He sat with his legs crossed. I couldn't sit comfortably in that damn dress. I tried sitting the way he did, but it made my skirt ride up. I kept thinking he was going to laugh at me, but he didn't.
After we were done, he stretched out on his back, with one arm to the side. We didn't have much room there, so I stretched out next to him. I was lying on his arm, accidentally.
"Sorry," I said.
"That's all right," he said, and lifted me up and over with one arm so I was lying right on top of him!
Then all of a sudden he grabbed me by the neck, pulled me closer to him, and kissed me!
And it was weird, but I didn't hate it, you know?
Tom was very good looking, with a lot of girlfriends, and I'm not so good looking. I've never had a date, and I've certainly never kissed anyone before. And suddenly, there we were, kissing. It was incredible that somebody, anybody, wanted to kiss me. So I didn't stop. I even kissed back a little.
It was probably only about ten seconds.
And then I remembered who I was and what I was. I pushed myself away from him and looked at him in horror. He smiled at me.
I stood up, brushed off my dress, and strode away from him as fast as I could. I couldn't run in those high heels, but I was walking pretty fast. He called to me to come back, but I kept going.
I avoided him all the rest of the day. I was so confused I didn't know what to do, and there was no one I could talk to about it.
The next day, I begged Mom to let me wear one of her dresses, instead of Melanie's. She let me put on an attractive lavender dress of hers. My sisters didn't make fun of me quite so much when I got to dress like a grown woman instead of a young girl.
I had to avoid Tom. I didn't want to be alone with him any more, after what had happened. I grabbed a book and began to read it. It was by some Russian author, dull as a newspaper, but I pretended to be interested. I sat down somewhere in my lavender dress, crossed my legs, and kept reading, not even daring to lift my eyes off the page.
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My sisters were off playing volleyball with my mother. Tom came into the room. I didn't even look up.
"Let's go for a walk, Joanie," he said.
"I'm reading."
"Come on. Let's go for a walk. Let's go someplace we can be alone."
Did he actually want to continue kissing me? What was the matter with him? I'd only been wearing dresses a few days. How the hell could he all of a sudden forget I'm a boy?
I ignored him.
"Come on," he said. And he put his hand on my knee. Before I knew what he was doing, he slowly moved it up my leg, under my skirt.
I shivered with pleasure. It felt so sexy. But I kept reading. I didn't look at him, and tried not to show what I was feeling.
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"Whenever you're through down there, put my skirt back where it was," I said. "Don't leave my slip showing."
He removed his hand.
"Fine!" he said, and left.
I brushed my skirt back into place.
About half an hour later, my Mom came in to see me. I looked up.
"Well, don't you look lovely in my pretty dress," she said.
"Thank you," I said sarcastically.
"Tom says you're avoiding him."
"I'm reading."
"Since when have you ever read anything? If wearing my dresses and pantyhose and high heels has turned you into a reader, maybe I should send you to school in a dress."
"I wish you would. Maybe somebody would call the authorities and put a stop to this."
"Why are you avoiding your friend? What's he going to do with himself if you ignore him?"
"He can play volleyball with the girls."
"He refuses to have anything to do with them, because of what we're doing to you."
"I never asked him to do that."
"Come on, honey, tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."
"You don't get to be the understanding mother after you've made your son wear pantyhose and a bra! Why don't you leave me alone!"
"What's going on between you two?"
"Mom, you don't know anything about it!"
"Then explain it to me."
"There's nothing to explain. I just don't want to be around him when I'm dressed like a girl, that's all."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't! I'm embarrassed!"
I looked down and went back to reading.
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"Very well," she said. "This is a punishment, and you're not supposed to like it. But you don't have to punish your friend as well."
I read the rest of the day, and barely got through a dozen pages, but I managed to avoid him. That night in Melanie's room, when I took off my dress and hung it in the closet, Melanie wanted to know what the fight was about between Tom and I. I told her to mind her own business.
"Lover's quarrel?" she asked.
That scared the hell out of me. Had she seen us kissing? But no, she was just making fun, as usual.
Though the lavender dress was Mom's, I don't think it ever was removed from Melanie's closet until they all packed up to go home.
The next day I asked to wear one of my mother's dresses again, but Melanie complained and insisted I wear one of hers, like I was a Barbie doll she could dress up. It was a very skimpy hot pink floral dress. It scared me when I saw Tom staring at me. He couldn't take his eyes off me in that dress.
I spent the day reading, again. At night they all played Monopoly, all but me. I said I was going into the next room to read. But I was tired of reading. I just sat there glumly and waited for the night to be over. I was miserable.
We had a piano in the room, but since no one played the piano, we would move the piano bench around the room and sit on it, sometimes, if we ran out of chairs. I was sitting on the bench when Tom came into the room.
My book was on the other side of the room, so I couldn't pretend to be reading, and I was tired of pretending, anyway. It was about time we had this out. He had to know he couldn't go on treating me like a girl, just because I wore a pretty pink dress.
I sat there innocently, with my hands in my lap, waiting for him to speak.
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"I was the first one bankrupted," he said.
"I see."
"I guess we should talk about what happened between us."
"Nothing happened between us."
"So, we didn't kiss?"
"OK, we kissed, but it shouldn't have happened. Why can't we just forget about it and go back to the way things were?"
"Can I sit next to you?"
"No. There's no room."
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"Why not?"
"Because I don't trust you, is why."
"I think maybe you don't trust yourself. I wasn't the only one doing the kissing. You kissed back."
"I did not!"
"Joanie, we can't have this discussion if you're not going to be honest."
"All right, fine, I kissed back. I shouldn't have done it. If you want to be honest about something, tell me this: am I a boy or a girl?"
"You're a girl."
"You know that's not true!"
"No boy could ever look as pretty and sexy in a tight pink dress as you do. No boy could ever have those beautiful, lovely legs."
As he complimented my legs, I crossed them, reflexively, without even thinking about it. I looked at him intently.
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"Expensive pantyhose would make anyone's legs look this good," I said.
"You are so adorable and sexy and feminine."
"Tom, will you think about what you're saying? Are you gay or something? What's going to happen when summer's over and I go home and go back to being a boy and wearing pants?"
"This doesn't have to end when we get home."
"What the hell do you want out of me? You expect me to wear this dress to school?"
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"I expect you to wear it when we go out on a date. Melanie will let you wear it. You look better in it than she does. She'll probably even help you sneak out of the house."
"You've gone absolutely nuts! Three beautiful girls in the house, and you fall for a boy in a dress!"
"You're more beautiful than all of them put together."
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I couldn't help smiling at that. I was being encouraged by his wonderful compliments. My memory kept going back to the time we spent kissing, and I found myself wishing we could do it again.
My feelings scared me. I was so confused. All these contradictory feelings were churning around inside of me. I didn't know what I wanted.
I stood, crossed the room, and opened the window. Across the lake, coming from the opposite shore, we could hear romantic music playing from the Moonlight Bay Supper Club.
I faced him. I don't know what came over me, but I just started dancing, all by myself, moving seductively like an exotic dancer.
I started touching my body, my legs, swaying to the music in my tight pink dress, giving him a deep, smoky, sensual look. I seemed to be daring him to take control of me.
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He strode forward, purposefully, and took me in his arms. I should've complained, but I didn't. He kissed me, and I let him. I even kissed back. He guided me over to the couch with his hand at the small of my back. We sat down together, and kissed passionately.
"What are you?" he asked.
"Please, not now," I said, between kisses.
"Tell me. What are you?"
"You know what I am."
"Say it."
"I'm a girl."
"Again."
"I'm a girl."
"Again."
"I'm a girl! I'm a girl! I'm a girl!"
We kissed, his hand working its way up under my skirt. I don't know how long we were kissing, maybe half an hour, when we heard giggling. My sisters, all three of them.
I sat up straight and pushed him away from me, and straightened my skirt.
"I knew it!" said Melanie. "They really are boyfriend and girlfriend! I knew it!"
"Why don't you three mind your own business?" said Tom.
"Don't tell Mom!" I begged. Then I had a sudden flash of inspiration, and said, "No, wait a minute. Do tell Mom. Tell her we were kissing."
"Why you want us to tell Mom?" asked Melissa.
"I get it!" said Melinda. "Joanie, here, thinks Mom will freak out because they were kissing, and she'll make Joanie go back to being Johnny, and wearing pants."
"Is that what you thought?" asked Melanie.
I nodded.
"In that case, forget it," said Melanie. "I like having you for a big Barbie doll, and making you wear my dresses whenever I want. No one's telling Mom."
"Telling Mom what?" she asked, coming up behind them.
Melinda said, "Telling Mom we want to have dinner together at the Moonlight Bay Supper Club. We thought it would be fun. But Melanie said it would be too expensive."
"Nonsense. It sounds like fun. But I don't know if Joanie will want to be seen out in public."
"Why not?" asked Melissa. "Look at her. Who would think she's anything but a pretty, pretty teenage girl?"
"What about it, Joanie?" asked Mom. "Ready to go out to dinner in a dress?"
I thought about it, and said, "Could I wear your sexy skintight black dress?"
She laughed, and said, "Oh, you want to be a grown up adult woman, do you? Well, alright, but you know what I always wear with my black dress? My three-inch high heels. You wear my dress, you wear my pumps. That's the deal."
"OK." I don't know why, but I was dying to wear something sexy for Tom.
"You're going to find out it's painful being a woman."
The next evening I was in Mom's bedroom alone, changing into that wonderfully sexy black dress. I slipped on the high heels. Mom wasn't kidding. They really hurt. Beauty is pain.
I checked myself out in the mirror.
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"OK, Tom. Let's see you resist me in this."
Man, what was happening to me?
I checked myself out from the back. Very sexy, but I wasn't crazy about the fact that my bra strap was showing.
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It reminded me of before, when my sisters were snapping my bra strap. I hoped they wouldn't do that to me, now. Not in front of Tom. I'd just die of embarrassment.
I went into the piano room, where Tom was waiting for me. He had brought some nice clothes of his own to wear, and he looked very handsome. Mom was there, too.
When he saw me, the old familiar look came into his eyes, bubbling over with lust. I can't believe Mom didn't notice.
"How do I look?" I asked.
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"You are the sexiest woman I've ever seen in my life," he said.
Mom didn't react as though there was anything at all odd about him saying that. I guess she thought he was just making fun of me, like everyone else.
Melinda, as though my sisters had arranged it ( which they had ), said, "Mom, we've been thinking that we'd rather stay and eat here, tonight."
"Why?"
"Well, we're just tired out, is all. But Tom and Joanie can go by themselves, if they want to."
"Oh, so I don't get to go either, then?" asked Mom.
"Well, they're friends. Let 'em spend some time together."
My sisters were just bubbling over with excitement at the two of us having dinner together, but Mom didn't seem to notice.
"Is that what you two want?" she asked.
We said yes, so she agreed. Tom was to drive. He was sixteen and already had his license. She gave Tom her credit card to pay for the meal.
Tom drove us to the supper club. The night was heavenly. So romantic. I had no idea Tom could be such a gentleman on a date, opening the door for me, helping me with my chair, treating me like a lady. I was afraid to say a word out loud, lest I give myself away as a boy, but no one was staring, no one seemed to notice anything unusual about me.
When the music started, Tom stood and held out a hand to me. He didn't have to coax me at all. I took his hand, and he pulled me to my feet and led me to the dance floor. I'd never danced in a dress before, hell I'd only been wearing them a week, but I just stayed close to Tom and let him lead me across the floor. We danced close. I held on and tried to forget how much my feet were hurting in three-inch heels.
We went for a walk after dinner, Tom with his arm around my waist.
"What are you doing with me, Tom?" I asked. "You're so handsome and gorgeous. You could have any girl you want, and here you are, dating me. And I'm not even a real girl."
"You will be, one day."
I looked at him in surprise.
"In this world," he said, "you have to become who you are."
"You expect me to have that operation? Just for you?"
"Of course not. Not just for me, only because you want to. Because you're really and truly a girl inside. And I think you are."
"How do you know?"
"I don't. That's something you have to decide for yourself. But I hope you do become a girl, because---can I tell you a secret?"
"What?"
"I'm falling in love with you. I think I want to marry you, someday."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Tom, please don't say that if it isn't true. Don't play games with me."
"Of course it's true. I love you."
Before I could respond, he pulled me into an alleyway and kissed me.
We kissed for a very long time. When we stopped kissing and left the alley, we walked a little further and turned the corner. And there was a motel.
"Look at that," he said. "Do you think they would take your mother's credit card?"
"Tom, please don't ask that of me. This is all moving so fast. I mean, a week ago I was just an ordinary boy, and look at me now, in a sexy dress and high heels, going on a date with a handsome boy, and now you tell me you love me! I don't even know what you're going to ask me to do in a motel room, and I don't want to know! Please, let's just go back. This is all too confusing."
"Alright."
On the way back I saw a flyer posted somewhere.
"Look, Tom! There's a dance tomorrow night at the auditorium! Let's go!"
"Well, I don't know."
"Oh, come on! It'll be fun! Didn't you like dancing tonight?"
"Yeah, but I don't want to dance for hours and hours."
"Tom, it's not going to work for you to be the guy who doesn't ever do whatever he doesn't want to do. Sometimes you're just going to have to do some of the things your girlfriend wants to do."
And there it was. I had used the G word. I was his girlfriend.
"OK," he said. "On one condition. You wear that dress."
I looked down at myself, thinking he meant the sexy black dress I had on, but he was pointing at a shop window, and there in the window was the loveliest red chiffon dress I had ever seen in my life! OK, the whole dress wasn't chiffon, but the sleeves were. I could just imagine twirling across the dance floor in that dress, my full skirt swirling about my legs in nylons, Tom by my side.
"Do you want to buy it for me?"
"I'll use my own money. I brought some cash with me."
"Well, I guess I'll have to at least try it on. I can't resist trying it on."
We went into the shop together. Tom asked if I could try on the dress. I was still afraid to talk, still afraid I would give myself away.
I tried on the dress, and some red pumps to go with it. I came out of the changing room and awkwardly posed for my boyfriend. I was still a little nervous, being around other people as a girl.
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"You are so luscious!" he said. I smiled.
The sales lady asked if I would like to wear it home. I nodded.
"Would it be possible for her to try on that gown, while we're here?"
I saw what he was referring to, and I blushed. It was a gorgeous wedding gown!
The sales lady was skeptical.
"Aren't you two a little young to be getting married?"
"OK, we're not getting married yet, but we will be one day," he said. "Look at her. Look at how beautiful she is. Can you imagine how lovely she'll be in that gown?"
I was just about dying of embarrassment.
"I really shouldn't let women try this on unless they're ready to buy," she said. "But you two make such a cute couple. I guess I can bend the rules, just this once."
I went with her to get changed. As I left, I gave him a look, to say, "What did you get me into, here?"
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A wedding gown, is what he got me into, here.
When we were in the changing room together and she was helping me into the gown and veil, she said, "Hold on to that one, honey. He's a keeper. And he's crazy about you!"
I nodded, still terrified to speak.
I couldn't believe how heavenly it felt to wear a wedding gown! When I showed myself to Tom, he was at a loss for words, for a moment. He recovered, and said I looked absolutely angelic.
I smiled, and sat down in my gown. My feet were tired.
-
I changed back into my new red dress and red pumps. As she rang up the purchase, the sales lady said to Tom, "Quiet one, isn't she?"
We walked back to the car holding hands, the wind swirling and flipping up my skirt. I felt like it was the most romantic night of my life. In my other hand I held the black dress and pumps I had worn to dinner. My new red pumps felt like bedroom slippers compared to the black ones.
"We can never be friends again, can we?" I asked. "Not like we used to be. You'll only be wanting to see me in a dress from now on."
"I'm afraid that's true."
"I'm going to miss you as a friend."
"We've found something a lot better," he said, putting one arm around my waist, and pulling me in close for a kiss.
We were quite a hit at home when we came through the door, me in my new dress.
"What are you wearing?" asked Mom.
"This is called a dress, Mom."
"Where did you get it?"
"I bought it for her," said Tom. "I used my own money."
The indignation of my sisters was wonderful to behold, and I enjoyed it very much.
"Mom, why does Joanie get to have a new dress? Does he get to keep that?" asked Melinda.
"Of course he doesn't get to keep it; he's a boy! Tom, I don't understand, why are you buying my son dresses?"
"What son? I don't see any son here."
"Look, Tom, we've been kidding around with this thing, but let's not let it get out of hand."
"Mom, he bought me a dress because we're going to a dance tomorrow night in town."
"Is that so? And whose idea was this?"
"Mine. Look, Mom, I never asked to be a girl but I am one, and as long as I am, why can't I have a little fun? What's wrong with a dance?"
My sisters joined in the enthusiasm. If I got to go, why couldn't they go? My mother couldn't withstand the onslaught of all my sisters at once, and she gave in.
It was late, and my Mom wanted to turn in for the night. Tom went to his room, but there was to be no sleeping for me. My sisters dragged me off to Melissa and Melinda's room and wanted to hear every detail of my date with Tom. I got along better with my sisters that night than ever before or since. They hung on every word I said, and they were so jealous of me! I didn't tell them every detail, of course, but what I did tell them made them swoon with delight!
I felt more like a girl that night than I had even on my date with Tom. Maybe Tom was right. Maybe I was meant to be a girl.
Melanie loved my new dress. She kept asking to borrow it.
"No. It's mine," I said.
The next night, we all got ready for the dance as soon as dinner ended. Melissa and Melinda borrowed dresses from Melanie. Melanie was the only one who brought dresses, and they were all meant for me to wear. I slipped into my pretty red dress and went out to meet Tom. We were alone, and we kissed a little before my sisters showed up.
Mom decided she would stay home by herself. She said goodbye and told us not to stay out too late. As we went out to the car, my sisters were giggling merrily. I wished I had a high-pitched giggle, too.
Wouldn't you know it, at the dance there was a shortage of guys and a surfeit of girls. All the single girls in their pretty summer dresses stayed on one side of the hall and kept their eyes on the door, waiting for the next guy to come in by himself. But it was mostly couples. When a guy did come in alone, the girls couldn't afford to play hard to get. They snatched him up like raw meat thrown into a lion's cage. My sisters stood watching me dance with Tom, silently fuming. I couldn't help it; I laughed at them a little as Tom twirled me around the dance floor.
Whenever a boy came in and the girls excitedly gathered around him, I thought to myself, "I wish I were a boy."
But I am a boy. It's a boy in this dress, a boy curtseying to his partner, a boy adjusting his bra strap, a boy worrying about getting runs in his nylons.
But I didn't feel like a boy.
Hours passed like minutes. Tom was a wonderful dancer, and he made me a better dancer, just being with him. I thought to myself that I'm usually a person who gets cold easily and sneezes a lot, yet in that drafty dance hall in my dress with the chiffon sleeves, I never sneezed once. I thought perhaps it might have something to do with wearing high heels. My toes being pressed together that way was uncomfortable, but it kept my feet extremely warm. In fact, I couldn't recall sneezing once since I'd started wearing high heels.
I was so glad Tom had bought me my pretty new dress. The full skirt was a dream to dance in. And Tom never passed up a chance to twirl me around.
The dance was winding to a close after nearly two hours, and my sisters hadn't had a single dance. I admit it; I felt sorry for them. I said, "Darling, my sisters never got to dance with a boy. Why don't you dance them once around the floor before the night is over. Please? For me?"
"After they've been making fun of you for days?"
"I know, I know. But they went to a lot of trouble to give us a date together last night. Please? I'll just sit over here and wait for you."
So I sat and waited while he danced with my sisters. When he danced with Melissa he kept trying to watch me as they went around the dance floor, but there were too many other couples. He couldn't see me until he got closer, and when he caught sight of me, his face brightened considerably. The same thing happened when he danced with Melinda. I sat and watched, enjoying his attentions. Even when my darling danced with another girl, he just couldn't keep his eyes off me.
-
When he danced with Melanie, I decided to really give him something to look at. I posed myself unforgettably.
-
My darling actually tripped and almost fell when he saw me!
He came toward me for another dance, but it was too late. The dance was over. We went back out to the car, my sisters thanking me all the way, and thanking Tom as well.
When we got back to the cabin, my three sisters went in the door ahead of me, and at the doorway, Tom grabbed me and kissed me.
"I've been wanting to do that all night," he said.
"I've been wanting you to do it all night," I said, and we kissed some more. My sisters giggled, but they went off to bed, leaving us alone. Well, not quite alone.
"What the hell are you boys doing?" my Mom demanded.
We came inside, holding hands. Well, she had to find out about us sooner or later. How long could we hide our love?
"We were kissing, Mom."
"Tom? Have you turned gay all of a sudden?"
"Gay? I was kissing your daughter. What does that have to do with being gay?"
'Tom, you've got three real girls right here you could go out with. What in the world were you doing kissing my son?"
"We're in love," I said.
She rolled her eyes.
"OK, I think I know what this is. This is some kind of a little stunt you're pulling, acting like a real girl, so I'll get scared you're going crazy and let you out of your punishment."
"No, Mom! It might've started like that, but this is real! We're really in love, and we want to get married some day. And I want to become a real girl."
"OK, this is just completely nuts. This is too much for me to deal with right now. I don't know what I'm going to do with you two, but you're staying away from each other until I figure this out. You hear me?"
"Mom, we're living in a tiny cabin together. How are we supposed to stay away from each other?"
"I don't care; just do it! And no more kissing! Now, get off to bed, you two!"
We both made a move toward each other for a good night kiss, but halted under her gaze. He said good night and headed off to his room. I headed off to Melanie's room. I wasn't too worried, and I knew he wasn't either. What could she do? She couldn't keep watch over us 24 hours a day. We could always sneak off, eventually. We had the whole summer together.
The next morning, I asked Mom if I could wear one of her dresses, a sexy, shiny white one. She said I'd get it dirty.
"Please?" I begged. "If I get it dirty I won't ask to wear any more of your dresses all summer. I'll wear Melanie's."
She acquiesced. I put on the dress and some white pumps in Mom's bedroom. I really liked the way I looked in that dress. I couldn't wait for Tom to see me in it. As soon as I slipped it on I knew it was my favorite dress, and I knew it would be Tom's as well.
I sneaked over to Tom bedroom. Mom was waiting for me in front of the hallway that led to his room. I smiled at her.
"I was just---"
-
"You were just sneaking over to see Tom, after I told you not to. Sit down."
I sat down, smoothing my skirt beneath me with one hand. From the bedroom came sounds of someone knocking and banging things around, intentionally making a racket.
"What is he doing?" I asked.
"Packing."
"Packing!"
"I called his father. He'd going home today. Listen, Joanie, I can't allow something like this to go on between you two. It isn't healthy."
"Isn't healthy!" I stood up. "What do you call making me dress like a girl and walk around in pantyhose and high heels? You call that healthy?"
"Sit down, dear."
"No! I'm not going to sit down! Did you tell his Dad the truth about us?"
"I told him you two were having a fight, and he asked to go home early."
"That's not true!"
"Do you want his Dad to hit the roof?"
"You can't keep us apart! We love each other! Are you going to make me dress like a boy, now?"
"Your punishment will continue for the rest of the summer. Where are you going?"
"To say good-bye! At least I get to do that!"
I hurried off to his room. I tried to put on a brave face for my darling. After all, they couldn't keep us apart forever. One day we'd be grown up, and we could get married. I could wear that wedding gown for real.
I opened the door without knocking. He hadn't turned his bedroom light on. It was dim in the room. He was sitting on the bed, packing. I stepped into the shadows. It wasn't easy, but I kept a little half-smile on my face.
"Darling---"
-
"Why do you have to look so beautiful, the last time I ever see you?"
"Don't say that. They can't keep us apart; not forever. We love each other. I love you, darling."
"It seems like forever. The whole summer. Why haven't I ever seen you in that dress before? That's the most gorgeous dress I've ever seen you wear. Except for the wedding gown. You look so radiant! White is your color."
"That's because I'm a virgin."
"You're my virgin."
He stood up and took me into his arms. He kissed me. He held me so close it felt like we were one person.
"Joanie, let's go. Let's get out of here, now. Let's run away, together. Me with just the clothes on my back and the money in my pockets, and you in that dress. You look so beautiful in that dress, I don't ever want you to take it off. Well, maybe for one reason."
"Darling, we can't. What chance do a couple of teenagers have, a boy and a girl alone against the entire world? And I'm not even a real girl."
"Don't say that! Don't you ever say that! If you weren't real I couldn't hold you in my arms and feel your dress against my body. If you weren't real, I couldn't kiss you."
We kissed aggressively.
Then he said, "I want to tell my father the truth about us."
"No! You can't! Please, darling, I'll do anything you want, I'll wear this dress all summer if you want me to, I promise. I'll even wear it to school, to proclaim our love. But you can't tell your father. He wouldn't understand. You must be patient. We'll be together one day, my darling, please, please, just be patient. A love like ours takes strength, and courage. You mustn't tell him, you mustn't, you mustn't!"
"Alright, my love."
We kissed some more, and I said, "Darling, you have to finish packing."
"No."
"Then let me go, and I'll pack for you."
"I can't let go of you."
"Darling, please."
"I won't let go of you! It isn't fair!"
"I know it isn't fair. But we just have to tell ourselves that we'll be together one day. We have the whole rest of our lives together."
He let go of me, and we packed together. There was one little problem when my skirt got caught as he closed the suitcase, but that was soon fixed.
We kissed for awhile longer, sitting on the bed, Tom with his hand up my skirt, then Melinda knocked at the door. I opened it. Melinda had tears in her eyes.
"Tom's Dad's here."
I nodded.
"I can't believe she's doing this to you two," said Melinda. "I hate Mom."
"She's just doing what she thinks right," I said.
"Mom says you have to say here," she said to me.
I nodded, sadly.
"You need to wipe that lipstick off your face," she said to Tom. "And you, sis, you need to put some more on."
I smiled. She had never called me sis before.
He grabbed the suitcase and placed it on the floor by his feet. He held me in his arms and kissed me. Melinda discretely withdrew.
"Will you marry me?" he asked.
"Oh, yes!" I said. "Yes, my darling, a thousand times yes!"
He kissed me again. Then he let go of me, picked up his suitcase, and left.
I sat on his bed and cried. Mom came in to see me. She put one hand on my nylon-covered knee.
"He's gone," she said.
"Mom," I said. "I want to wear this dress every day this summer."
"What? Why?"
"Because it's Tom's favorite dress, and I promised him I would wear it all summer. Every time I wear it, I'll think of our last moment together."
She rolled her eyes.
"Son," she said, "I know that at your age these things seem real, but trust me, with a little perspective you'll see that this is all just a mistake. I wasn't going to do this, but I've reconsidered. I'm going to remove your punishment. You can go back to wearing your regular clothes."
"What do you mean, regular clothes?"
"Pants, of course. I'll drive home today and get your pants and shirts and sneakers and underwear."
"But I'm a girl! I can't wear that stuff!"
"Don't be silly."
"Mom, look at me! I'm a girl! I've been a boy for most of my life and never even had a date, and after one week as a girl I've got a gorgeous boyfriend who wants to marry me! You can't take this away from me!"
"Johnny, this is partly my fault. I didn't realize you'd go a little crazy wearing a bra and girdle all the time. You can wear my dress until I get back, but then you're going back to dressing like a boy."
"No! I'm a girl! I'm a girl on the inside, and one day I'll have the operation and be a girl on the outside! Then Tom and I will get married, and you can't stop us!"
She rolled her eyes, again. It was getting to be an annoying habit.
"Whatever. I'm leaving now to get your clothes. When I get back I want you to take that dress off."
"Mom, you seriously mean I can't wear a dress for the rest of the summer?"
"That's what I've been telling you."
"Well, can I at least wear pantyhose and high heels?"
"No."
"Can I wear a slip?"
"Of course not."
"Can I at least wear a bra?"
"Johnny, you don't have anything to put in a bra."
"But I'm wearing a bra now!"
"Johnny, listen to me. You're a boy. I know it might be hard to remember that when you look in the mirror, but once we get you out of that dress and you take off all the lingerie and pantyhose and high heels and wash off all the make-up, you'll feel better and you'll remember you're a boy. Just think, you won't have to spend all this time worrying about your slip showing or getting a run in your nylons or getting lipstick on your teeth. Won't that be nice?"
"Mom, look at me. I'm a girl! Can't you tell I'm a girl? Look at my face! Look at my legs!"
"Johnny, I'm not going to argue about this. I'm leaving. I'll be back soon."
She left the room. I threw myself back onto Tom's bed in anger. I dug my nose into his pillow. I could smell my darling there in the room with me. My mother wouldn't let us be together, and now she wouldn't let me wear his favorite dress any more.
Five minutes later, my sisters came in. I was sitting on the bed, clutching a pillow to myself and crying.
"Don't cry," said Melissa. "You'll ruin your mascara."
"What's the difference?" I said. "I have to wash it all off anyway! Mom says I have to pretend to be a boy!"
"Mom told us," said Melinda. "While you two were having your talk, I grabbed this from her purse."
She put a credit card down on the nightstand table. I picked it up and looked at it.
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
"That's up to you, Joanie. I only know that a great love requires taking a great dare. And if I had a wonderful boyfriend like Tom, I wouldn't waste my time whining about people who don't understand. I would MAKE them understand. And if I made a promise to him I would keep it, no matter what anyone says."
"What promise?"
"Already you forgot the promise you made?"
"You mean, wearing this dress all summer? Did you hear us talking?"
"Heard it? Are you kidding? We taped it!"
"What can I do? Mom says I have to take it off."
"Didn't Tom say something about running away together?"
"But we can't do that? That's crazy!"
"Yeah, That is crazy. I guess you don't love him after all."
I got off the bed and looked at myself in the mirror, adjusted my skirt, and decided what to do.
"Melanie," I said, "do you have a white purse you could let me have?"
"Sure, Joanie."
"Lipstick, mascara, all the essentials?"
"Even some tampons if you need them."
"Go get it, please."
She ran off, and I asked my other two sisters if I could have pen and paper. Melissa ran off to get me a pen and a little notebook to write in.
I sat on a stool, crossed my legs, and wrote:
-
Dear Mom,
I'm sorry, you're asking too much of me. I can't go back to being a boy, and I can't live without Tom. We're running away together. You can't ask me to take this dress off. It's his favorite dress, and I promised him I would wear it all summer. I'm going to keep that promise. This dress is a symbol of our love. To take it off would be to deny that our love ever existed. I know it's really your dress, but you can have my new red dress and red pumps in exchange. Please try to understand, it's absurd to make me pretend to be a boy. I looked in the mirror, and there's just no trace of any boy left.
Good-bye.
Love
Your daughter, Joanie
My sisters looked at the letter.
Melanie gave me her purse. She told me she'd put my cell phone in there, and all of her own money. I thanked her.
Melissa said, "You can walk to the train station from here."
"All that way, in high heels?"
"Would you rather wear sneakers?"
I shuddered, and shook my head.
Melanie said, "Better pack some dresses in a suitcase, some of mine and some of Mom's. I know what you promised, but it won't always be summer."
"No. I'll barely make it out of here in time as it is. When Mom gets back, tell her I went for a walk or something. Don't show her the note until you absolutely have to."
They agreed. The four of us hugged, our breasts touching.
I could tell my sisters wanted me to do this because they thought it would be really romantic and adventurous and cool. I hoped they were right. I hoped my beloved really liked me in this dress as much as he said, because he would be seeing rather a lot of it.
"Thank you for turning me into a girl," I said.
"You're welcome," said Melissa. "Be worthy of wearing a dress."
"Good-bye, girls," I said.
"Good-bye, girl," said Melinda.
I put the credit card in my purse and left the cabin, my high heels clicking on the hardwood floor, to begin the greatest adventure of my life.
I walked to the train station. It was a few miles, and my feet were aching when I got there. I still wasn't used to walking in high heels.
I bought a train ticket, a sandwich to eat on the train, and some perfume. I thought I would need some perfume if I was going to be wearing the same dress all summer. I probably wouldn't have a chance to get it laundered, and I figured I'd start to smell eventually.
When buying my items, I looked around anxiously to see if anyone was staring at me. I still couldn't believe that they actually bought me as a woman. But no one seemed to notice or care.
-
I boarded the train, and as it pulled out I started eating my sandwich. I took a moment to spritz myself with perfume. It was a long journey, and by the time I got back to our home town it was dark out. I took a cab to Tom's house, which pretty well used up the rest of my money.
I hoped Tom was serious about wanting to run away with me, because I was dead broke.
I sneaked around to the back of his house, hoping no one spotted me. I wasn't really dressed for stealth in that white dress.
He had a bedroom on the ground floor. I grabbed a morsel of gravel and tossed it at the window. No response. I did it again until I finally got his attention. He opened the window.
"Tom!"
"Darling! What are you doing here?"
"Were you serious about wanting to run away with me?"
"Of course!"
"Then let's go. I came all the way back here on the train. If we're going to go, we have to go now. My Mom will be back soon, looking for me."
I heard Mr. Johnson, Tom's father, calling his name from the next room. Tom said, quickly, "Meet me at the school entrance at ten o'clock!" and closed the window.
By ten o'clock I was just about starving to death. I paced back and forth at the entrance to the school, waiting for my darling, hoping he wouldn't be late. Finally I saw him. I was never so glad to see anyone in my life.
-
He ran forward and took me into his arms, swept me off the ground and spun me around. He was so romantic. He kissed me. I'd never felt so much love for anyone in my life as I did at that moment.
"You must be starving," he said.
"I've only had a sandwich to eat all day."
"I've got a little money. We'll get ourselves a hamburger."
"I'm not eating anything with ketchup or mustard, or anything that could get on my dress. I have to wear this dress all summer, you know."
"You're actually going to do that?"
"I said I would, didn't I? I'm a woman of my word."
We went to a vegetarian restaurant and had dinner. After dinner, he took out a key and dangled it before my eyes.
"Guess what this is."
"A key."
"To a house, and it's all ours. Well, really all the bank's. But we can live in as long as we want, until somebody buys it."
Tom's father owned a real estate agency, and they kept the keys to a lot of different properties there at the house.
"I sneaked into my Dad's office and grabbed it."
"My knight in shining armor. You've already given me my own castle! Let's go take a look at this place."
The house was nothing to brag about, just a two-bedroom one-floor dwelling in a lousy neighborhood. It was filthy. No one had lived there in a long time. All the furniture was gone, but there was a mattress on the floor, and pillows, and a blanket. It seemed the place had had squatters before.
There were some canned goods in the kitchen. It seemed we could survive for a while. But one of us was going to have to get a job.
He took me in his arms, again.
"It's not much," he said. "But it's all ours."
"And it's filthy. I'm going to see if I can find a broom to clean up this place."
"Why bother? We've got no one to tell us how to live."
"I'm not going to live in a filthy home. We need to get this place cleaned up. Look around and see if you can find an apron. I need to keep my dress from getting dirty."
-
"All right," he said, and chuckled.
I knew that chuckle. He was thinking "just like a woman." And that just made me love him all the more.
We never did find an apron, but there was a broom in the cupboard, and we soon had the place to rights. The electricity wasn't turned on, but I found some candles and matches, and soon the place was lit with a very romantic glow.
It was time for us to go to bed. We blew out all the candles but one. Tom started to get undressed. He stripped down to his underwear.
"Aren't you going to take your dress off?"
"I'm wearing this dress all summer, remember?"
"But you don't have to sleep in it!"
"When I say I'm doing something, I do it. Besides, we're in a desperate situation, here. We need all the good karma we can get."
"OK. If you think that will give us good karma. High heels, too? To bed?"
"Sure."
"I hope you don't injure me with those shoes."
We got into bed together, he blew out the candle, and we laid there next to each other in silence. I giggled a little.
"What's funny?"
I said, "I was just thinking what I would say if someone told me a year ago that I'd be lying here in a sexy white dress, wearing pantyhose and a bra and a girdle, snuggling up next to my boyfriend. I would've said they were crazy."
"And what do you think, now?"
"Now I think maybe I'm crazy. And maybe you are, too."
"I fell in love with a beautiful girl. What's crazy about that?"
"Thank you, darling," I said.
We were silent for a while, then Tom murmured, "Joanie."
"Yes?"
"Feel that."
He took my hand and put it on his pen-is. I removed my hand and shrank away from him.
"That's what you do to me," he said.
"Tom, don't be gross!"
"Oh come on, Joanie, we're not children. We're lovers. This is for real. This is what men and women do."
"What do you expect me to do?"
"I expect you to use your mouth to make me happy."
"No!"
"Joanie, most girls learn to love it, once they try it."
"Not this girl."
"Darling, what did you think this was going to be like? Did you think I'd be satisfied just kissing you, like in a Disney movie?"
"I just can't do it, Tom. I just can't do it."
"Please tell me you'll think about it."
"No."
"But I've given up everything for you!"
"And I've given up everything for you, but I'm not going to do that. If you can't live with that, you should leave, right now. Do you really love me, or am I just a plaything to you?"
He was silent, thinking it over.
Finally he said, "All right. But I won't stop asking. And you're going to change your mind one day. Because I know you love me. Come here. Come closer."
I snuggled up close to my lover, and we fell asleep together.
I awoke in the night with an urgent need to relieve myself. I looked around for Tom. He was nowhere to be seen. I had a moment of panic, thinking he had abandoned me. I got up, lit a candle, and went to the bathroom.
As soon as I opened the door I heard, "Close the door! Close the door!"
I quickly slammed it shut. I waited. I had caught a glimpse of what he was doing in there.
When he came out, I said, "I'm sorry."
He looked at me, ashamed and embarrassed.
"You just don't know what you do to me. In that silky dress, your sexy legs in pantyhose brushing up against me. Do you know how long it's been since I've had to do that? How many different girls I could call up right now that would come over and do what you wouldn't?"
"I'm sorry," I repeated.
"I really do love you, you know. But please say you'll think about it."
"All right. I'll think about it. Now let's get back to bed."
In the morning we were awakened by the slanting rays of sunlight coming in the window, and by a woman opening the front door with a key. She came in and saw us lying there. I stood up and straightened my dress, which was wrinkled. Tom remained beneath the blanket.
"Terrific," she said. "More squatters. I just got rid of the last bunch."
"Hello," I said. "My name's Joanie. This is Tom."
"I really don't care what your name is, my dear. I want you out of here. But I'll settle for making yourself scarce when I have a buyer coming to look at the place. If I ever get a buyer for this dump."
"I suppose we could make ourselves scarce," said Tom, rubbing his eyes, "in exchange for some more canned goods."
"Oh, sure. Why not? I'll get you some more Spam and fruit coc-ktail. How did you two get in here, anyway? Oh, never mind, it doesn't matter. I've got to say, you two have done a much better job keeping the place clean than the last band of gypsies coming through here. Well, I'll get you your food. I might have a buyer next week coming to look at the place. I expect you to keep your word."
"Just tell us when," I said.
As she turned to leave, she said, "Listen, do you know, and I don't know why you would, but do you know of anyone who does secretarial work? I need someone highly qualified, someone who takes dictation and does typing and filing. My girl quit, and I've been surviving on temps for a month now."
"Three hundred words a minute OK?" I asked.
"Dictation or typing?"
"Both."
"That would be phenomenal! I haven't had a temp who came anywhere near that! Who's the girl?"
"Me."
"You're kidding! And you're squatting in a foreclosed home?"
"Have you picked up a paper in the last three years? We're in a recession."
"Believe me, that's not news to me. OK, drop by Monday morning around ten and I'll give you a try-out."
She gave me her business card. Her name was Gladys Henderson. Tom stood up and took a look at the card.
As soon as she left, I threw my arms around Tom's neck.
"Does God love us or what!" I exclaimed. "I didn't even have to look for a job! It came right through the door!"
"Now you have just twenty-four hours to learn typing and short-hand."
"I don't have to learn those things. I took typing and shorthand at summer school last year."
"You are amazing," he said.
"I know. But won't your father be where I'm working? He might recognize me."
Tom took another look at the card, and said, "No, that's not his main branch. He might visit from time to time, but I think you'll be safe."
We spent the day strolling through the park, holding hands, doing things lovers do. I did some window shopping, looking at all the lovely dresses I would buy with my first paycheck. Then I kept reminding myself I couldn't wear them until summer was over. I was wearing the only dress I would ever wear for the whole summer.
I said to Tom, "As soon as Labor Day comes, I'm buying that dress!" I was staring at a lovely floral chiffon frock.
Tom chuckled. I was being just like a woman, again. I melted into his embrace.
That evening we were lying on the mattress, kissing, and Tom kept pushing my head down into his lap.
"Stop it!" I said.
"Can't blame a guy for trying."
And that night I heard him in the bathroom again, going at it.
Monday morning I took what little money we had left and got on the bus to Gladys Henderson's office. She didn't waste any time. She gave me a pen and a steno pad and dictated a letter to me. She went fast, and I struggled to write it all out in shorthand. She asked me to read it back to her. I did, and I got it all perfect, word for word.
"Wow," she said. "That's very impressive. You're amazing."
I looked rather pleased with myself.
-
"If your typing is as good as your shorthand, you've got the job."
I took my steno pad into a cubicle with a word processor and got the letter typed up and looking professional, and printed it out. I brought it back in no time.
She took one look at it, and said, "You're hired."
I spent the rest of the day with Human Resources, filling out forms. I lied about my age and about my name. Oh, and about my gender, as well. I gave as an address the foreclosed house we were living in. I said I didn't have a driver's license, but I would send for a copy of my birth certificate.
Mrs. Henderson had me for a few hours at the end of the day, and she made considerable use of me, filing, doing paperwork, data entry, taking dictation. Finally the day was over, and I was exhausted.
It was to be three weeks until I got my first paycheck, so I stole a few lunches somebody was keeping in the refrigerator, in the lunchroom. I felt bad about it, but we were running out of food.
The next day, she was surprised to see me in the same white dress. I explained that my clothes were being shipped, and hadn't arrived yet. She wanted to know how long it would take, and I said I didn't know. I was beginning to wonder if I could keep this lie going all summer. But I had to.
The next day she asked me about my dress again, and I said my clothes still hadn't arrived, and I didn't know when they would.
The day after that she had me dictating a letter. When she finished I asked her if there was anything else. She said yes. She put some money on the desk.
"This is an advance on your salary," she said. "I want you to take it and go buy some new dresses, for work."
I stared at her. I looked at the money, then back at her.
"But I can't!" I exclaimed.
-
"This is not a request," she said. "You can't keep wearing the same dress every day. People are starting to talk. It reflects badly on the company. And quite frankly, you're really starting to smell. All that perfume can't hide it forever."
"But this is my favorite dress!" I said.
-
"I never said you couldn't wear that dress, again. But you've got to wear something else, occasionally."
"But I thought grown-ups could do whatever they wanted!"
"What in the world are you talking about, Joanie?"
"Are these rules written down somewhere? You can't just make up rules whenever you want! I'm not a child! You can't tell me what to wear to work!"
"I AM telling you."
"But you can't do this to me!"
-
"Joanie, why are you getting so upset? This is not an unreasonable thing to ask."
"Yes it is! Has there been some problem with my work? I'm the fastest secretary in this building! Why in the world can't I choose which dress to wear to work?"
"Because this is a place of business! Do you think anyone can just wear whatever they want? What if some man decided he was going to wear a dress to work?"
"So? Would that be hurting someone?"
"Joanie, you can't live your life like a three-year-old. You can't just go around doing whatever you want and acting like it's OK as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Life just doesn't work like that. I know you're young, but being an adult is not anything like that."
"What if I came to work tomorrow wearing this dress?"
"Then don't come at all. I mean it, Joanie."
"You wouldn't fire me over that."
"Yes, I would. You've been a wonderful employee, and you've caught us up on a lot of work around here, but being competent isn't a license to get away with whatever you want in an office environment. Now, if there's nothing else, I need that letter typed up."
I stood up. I was in shock. I almost tripped on my way out the door.
"Joanie. Don't forget your money."
I scooped up the money. When I got back to my cubicle I counted it. Five hundred dollars.
Five hundred dollars. More money than I'd ever held in my life. So this was what it was like to be an adult. Holding a fortune in my hands like it was nothing. I stuffed the bills into my purse.
I was still stunned by the end of the day. As I left the office I glanced back at it sadly, knowing I was going to have to quit. I couldn't take off the dress I was wearing. I just knew that something terrible would happen to us if I took off my dress.
When I got home I looked at Tom, still sitting there like he hadn't moved since that morning. He'd promised to go out and look for work, but he wasn't having any luck. I told him I was going to have to quit.
"Why?" he asked.
I told him the whole story. I expected him to be supportive.
"Joanie, you can't quit! This job was like a miracle! You'll never get another job this good!"
"But I can't take off my dress!"
"Oh, what does it matter if you wear some other dress?"
"But I promised!"
"Joanie, a promise to yourself is pretty easy to break. It was just a silly idea, anyway! What difference does it make?"
"Don't call it a silly idea! It was a sacred promise! It meant something! You're a man. You just don't understand."
"Joanie, we love each other. That's the important thing. I know this is important to you, but we all have to compromise, sometimes."
"And what have you had to compromise? You haven't even got a job, yet."
"That's not fair. I'm looking."
I took the money out of my purse and showed it to him. He took it from me.
"How much is this?"
"Five hundred dollars."
"Joanie, with this kind of money we can move out of this dump and get a cheap hotel room with running water, and have a decent meal for a change."
"I was supposed to buy dresses with that money."
"You can do that, too."
I took the money from him and put it back in my purse.
"Alright," I said. "I guess I can't count on you to take care of us. But I'm not spending this money on dresses. I know where I can get all the dresses I want, for free."
I left him and got into a cab. The cab took me back to my old neighborhood, to the house I'd lived in with Mom and my sisters. I had it stop a block away from the house. I paid him and gave him a nice tip, and told him to pick me up again in an hour. The cab drove off.
It was dark. I sneaked through the neighborhood, hoping no one spotted me. When I got to my former home I saw a cop car out front, to my surprise. I surreptitiously made my way to the back yard, where I saw Melanie practicing her gymnastics in shorts and a T-shirt.
"Melanie!" I whispered.
-
"John! I mean, Joanie!" she exclaimed. "Are you coming back home?"
"No. Tom and I found a foreclosed home, and we're squatters."
"Must be hard to squat in that tight dress."
"What are the cops doing here?"
"What do you think? Mom was making a big stink that they're not doing enough to find you. So they came all the way out here to report on their progress, which is nothing."
"If I know Mom, she hasn't told the police I wear dresses, now."
"No, she neglected to mention that. She told the cops you'd left a note, and the cops wanted to see it, and she was all, oh, I don't know where it is, I threw it away, I destroyed it! She's doesn't want it to get around that her son wears pantyhose and a girdle. By the way, I see you stuck to your promise. Still wearing that dress."
"I haven't taken it off once, not even for bed."
"Good for you."
"But I'm going to have to."
I explained the situation I was in, and told her I needed some more of Mom's dresses.
"Joanie! You promised!"
"Oh, don't start this all over again! I just had this argument with Tom. Don't you think I feel like enough of a failure? This is a good job. I have to keep it, or I really will need to come back home."
"OK, Joanie. But I hope nothing bad happens when you take off that dress."
"I'm scared about that, too."
"Go over to my bedroom window. I'll get some of Mom's dresses and hand them out to you. I'll even throw in some of mine."
"Melanie, this is a grown-up office. I can't dress like a teenage girl!"
"Oh, suddenly you're too grown-up to wear my dresses? You wore them at the lake cabin."
"That was different."
She headed inside, but came back to give her brother a hug.
"Joanie, I think you make a wonderful woman. I'm so glad you and Tom are happy together. But I wish you didn't have to take off that dress. I hope nothing bad happens."
"Me, too."
I went to Melanie's window and collected an armful of my mother's dresses, and some of Melanie's. She also included some extra high heels. I was going to leave, when I heard the uniformed cops coming out the front door. I was at the side of the house, and I was afraid they would spot me on the way to their car. I took off through the neighbor's backyard. I could hear Melanie whispering something at me, but I had no idea what it was.
I went to where the cab was supposed to pick me up, but it wasn't there, yet. I hid by the side of a neighbor's house. I was frightened the cops might see me as they drove by, so I dropped the dresses in a pile and hid in the shrubbery. I squatted down. Melanie was right. It WAS hard to squat in that dress. I was worried about being seen, but I was even more worried about getting a run in my nylons. Not the sort of thing I ever had to think about back when I was a boy and could go around in jeans and a T-shirt. Oh, well. I had money to buy new pantyhose now, if need be.
Money! Where was my purse?
I had left it back at the house! I ran back there, as fast as you can run in high heels, and stopped before I got to the house. Those stupid cops still hadn't left yet! Still on the front stoop talking to my Mom. I waited for them to go until I couldn't wait any more, and thought I'd better take a chance, and run up and grab my purse.
Melanie was still there at the window.
"Forgot your purse!" she whispered as I scooped it up.
"I know!" I whispered back.
The cops picked that moment to walk back to their car. I panicked when I saw them, tripped and fell. I must've made some noise, because I swear one of them turned and looked at me, but I scrambled to my feet and ran.
They didn't follow me. They didn't seem to care.
I went back to where I had left the pile of dresses by the shrubbery. My cab was there. I grabbed the dresses and headed out to my cab, just in time to see the cop car pass. I almost jumped back into the shrubbery, but once again, they either didn't notice me or didn't care.
They didn't notice someone sneaking out of a backyard carrying an armful of stolen clothing. I didn't think Tom and I would ever have to worry too much about the cops finding us. Not those cops, anyway.
I tumbled into the back seat of the cab, throwing the dresses in before me. I was breathing heavily and sweating. I think my legs were even glistening just a bit in my nylons. I told the cabdriver to take me back to the house.
My white dress had grass stains on it. I'd been so careful for so many days to keep it clean. Just as well I'd be taking it off, I guess.
I looked at the dresses, piled in a heap. These weren't some crummy jeans and sweatshirts I was carrying around. These were dresses! Beautiful, delicate garments. I looked them over to see that they weren't dirty or wrinkled, then folded them carefully.
When we got back, I paid the driver, then ran into the house. I carefully put down the dresses, then I fell into my lover's arms.
"What's wrong?"
"I was so scared! They almost caught me! What if they'd forced me to say where you are?"
"Take it easy, Joanie! We're not criminals, you know."
"No, but we're runaways. What will happen if they make us go home?"
"We'll just run away, again. Take it easy, sweetheart. Try and calm down."
He held me and kissed me until I felt better.
That night we got a room in a cheap hotel. The toilet and shower was down the hall. I hung up my new dresses in the closet. Then, dramatically, I unbuttoned my dress and peeled it down my body. I really needed a shower.
"You see?" he said. "The world didn't end."
He took me in his arms and kissed me.
"I forgot how sexy you are in just a slip," he said.
I sat on the bed and took off my high heels. I wiggled my toes for the first time in days. It felt good. I put my feet in his lap, and he gave me a nice foot massage.
It was too late to go to a restaurant for dinner, and I was too tired anyway. Tom went out and got us some sandwiches and soft drinks. When he got back he showed me a flowered polyester robe he'd bought me.
"So you can take a shower," he said.
I put in on, and took off some of my lingerie. But I was one of the few women who had to wear a bra to take a shower, so the other people in the hotel wouldn't see how flat-chested I was.
"You should've gotten me a nightgown," I said.
"Can't you just thank me for what I did remember to get?"
"Sorry. You're right. Thank you."
I wasn't wearing a dress to bed any more, or high heels, but I still wound up wearing all my lingerie.
The next morning I got up and put on my mother's sexy snakeprint dress. I loved wearing it. The last time I had it on, all I could think about was, poor me, I'm a boy in a dress. But even then, I think I secretly thought how sexy it was, how much fun to wear.
Still, it had all those buttons in the back. I needed Tom to help me put it on. You couldn't wear this dress if you were living on your own.
I presented my back to him, and he buttoned me up.
-
Of course, with his body close to mine, once he buttoned me up he couldn't keep his hands off me.
"Darling, I'm going to be late," I said, but my tone made it clear how much I enjoyed his touch. "You know that makes me crazy," I cooed.
He stepped back, reluctantly.
"You are so beautiful in that dress," he said. "Do you remember the first time I saw you wearing it?"
"How could I forget?"
-
"That night you were so angry when you had to come to me to unbutton you. Now I'm the guy who gets to button you up in the morning. How things have changed."
"For the better. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have you."
"And I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
It was a tender moment between the two of us, but in those tense, mercurial days, tender moments were not enough to make me forget that I was supporting his lazy ass, and they were not enough to keep me from muttering, on my way out the door, "Please try and find a job, will you?"
-
"Oh, Joanie, not this again! I'm trying! You think it's easy, with no high school diploma?"
"I got a job."
"You were lucky. Why do you have to be such a nag?"
"I'm not a nag!"
"Yes, you are. Just go, already."
I took the bus to work. Everybody loved my dress. The men gave me no end of compliments. It was slowly becoming obvious to me that I was a favorite among the men of the office. They took some occasional glances at the other secretaries, but they leered at me so intently I could almost feel their eyes upon me as I walked past. If they only knew!
I loved it. I started to say and do little things to flirt with them. I loved their attention. No girl had ever glanced at me when I was a boy, but as a woman I had more attention than I knew what to do with.
Mrs. Henderson lost no time in calling me in for some dictation in the morning.
She didn't say a word about my dress until she'd finished dictating the letter.
"Lovely dress, Joanie. See, it's not so bad wearing a different dress to work, is it?"
-
"I suppose not."
"Where'd you get it?"
I had to think. I had not the slightest idea where Mom had bought the dress I was wearing. I tried to think of the name of a dress store, but I was coming up blank.
"Um...Ebay?"
"Ebay! You bought something on Ebay just last night? How'd you get it delivered?"
"Um, no, sorry, not Ebay. It was...what's that place that has all the used clothing?"
"Salvation Army?"
"That's it."
"Look, Joanie, if you don't want to tell where you bought it, that's fine."
"No, no, it was Salvation Army."
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
"By the way, I got a complaint from HR. You haven't given them a copy of your birth certificate, yet."
"Oh. Mrs. Henderson, I don't think I'm going to be able to do that."
"Why not?"
"Well, it's complicated."
"What's the problem, Joanie?"
"There's someone who's looking for me. I'm sort of in hiding."
"Oh, no! Joanie, are you in danger? Is this an old boyfriend after you or something? Someone who beat you?"
"No. I mean...uh...yes. That's it. He's a cop. If I get a job under my real name, he'll find me."
"Oh, Joanie, you poor girl! This isn't the guy I saw you with in the house, is it?"
"No. Someone else."
"You poor dear. OK, I'll talk to HR. I'll straighten it out. Don't worry."
"Thank you Mrs. Henderson. I really owe you a lot."
I went home that night determined not to nag Tom about finding a job. Instead, we went out to dinner together. We dined at a spaghetti restaurant. I ate so much I wanted to take off my girdle right there at the table.
Monday morning I couldn't resist putting on one of Melanie's sexy, short dresses. Tom practically drooled at the sight of me. I made the mistake of saying that the guys at the office would go crazy when they saw me in this dress.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Just what I said. The men at work like looking at me and flirting."
"Well, you don't flirt back, do you?"
"A little. Sometimes."
"Why do you have to do that? Aren't I enough for you?"
"Oh, come on! You're jealous? You? After all the other girlfriends you've had?"
"Well, I don't have any other girlfriends, now. And I don't go around flirting with other women. Have you at least told them about me?"
"No. It hasn't come up."
"What are you going to do if some guy asks you out?"
"I'm going to politely say no."
"And then he'll get all pissed off because you led him on!"
"Honey, this is just what goes on at offices. It doesn't mean anything! You don't understand how these places are."
"Oh, all of a sudden you're a woman of the world 'cause you worked at an office for a week! All of a sudden you know everything!"
I came closer to him. I said, "Darling, why are we like this? It seems all we ever do is fight these days. I knew this would happen as soon as I took off my white dress."
"Oh, this has nothing to do with you taking off any dress! This is about you dressing like some little hoochie momma and shaking it for a bunch of sleazy guys at work! If you're going to do that, why don't you just become a stripper!"
"I am not a stripper!" I said angrily. "I don't shake anything! I'm a secretary, and I work hard all day, and if I can make the day go by just a little bit faster with some innocent flirting, I'm damn well going to do it!"
I grabbed my purse and stormed out the door.
I calmed down by the time I got to work. The first guy who saw me in that dress actually dropped a load of papers on the floor. I saw his mouth silently make the word "Wow." And that was one of the more subtle reactions.
Mrs. Henderson didn't call me in for dictation until the afternoon. In the morning I had plenty of paperwork and typing to take care of, and there were guys finding excuses to pass by my cubicle all day long and take a look at my legs. When I got up to refill my coffee cup, I'd always walk slowly so the guys could get a good look. I'd never felt so special.
When Mrs. Henderson called me in, I could tell she was pissed off. She went ahead and dictated the letter, and when she was done I asked, "Anything else?"
-
"Yes. Might I ask what in the hell you think you're wearing?"
"Oh, not this again!" I complained. "Haven't you got anything better to do than whine about what I wear to work?"
-
As I spoke, one of the men passed by the office, craning his neck to get a look at me through the window.
"I won't have you being a disruptive influence in this office. I've seen what's happened today. The men haven't gotten any work done."
"That's their fault; not mine."
"Joanie, trust me, you're playing with fire, here. The next thing you know, some guy's going to have you up against the file cabinet with his hand up your skirt, and you'll have nobody to blame but yourself."
"How about blaming the guy with his hand up my skirt?'
"Joanie, I'm not going to argue about this. As long as you're working here, you will maintain proper business attire, and that means skirts no more than half an inch above the knee."
I stood up and said, "Are these rules written down anywhere?"
"You want 'em written down? Here." She grabbed a piece of paper, and wrote on it: Don't Be a Slut!
I crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it away. I was grumpy all the rest of the day, and grumpy when I got back home. Tom asked me what was wrong, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of telling him that someone else agreed with him.
The next day I went back to wearing my mother's dresses. I put on a girly floral dress with an acceptably long skirt. It was so colorful and feminine, I was in a good mood as soon as I put it on. I said goodbye to Tom and just about danced out the door in my pretty dress.
My good mood didn't last long. Mrs. Henderson wanted me to carry several dozen heavy files all the way upstairs to the third floor. We had no elevator, and it was going to be a miserable job. I thought of all the strong men out there who could do a job like this without strain, and it just didn't seem fair that I had to do it all myself. I thought about how much they all liked flirting with me. Why shouldn't I get some help from them? And without even asking for it.
For a young, pretty girl, men are no problem. They are the answer. Particularly if you know how to properly use them.
I took some of the smallest files in my arms and headed in the general direction of the stairs, making sure to pass close to where the men were congregating. Right in front of them, I tripped on my high heels and spilled the files all over the floor.
-
The men came running. Some of them picked up the files, while the largest of them extended a hand and lifted me to my feet. I let myself fall against him just a little bit as I steadied myself.
"Thank you," I said sweetly. "I have all these files I have to take up to the third floor. I don't know how I'll ever be able to do it. They're all much too heavy for a girl like me."
"Where are they?" asked the guy who had helped me to my feet. "We'll do it."
"Oh, no, I couldn't accept any help. It's too big a job."
"Where are they?"
So I wound up at the head of a parade, carrying a small file myself, just for show. The parade wound up the stairs and into the storage room, and the job was done in no time.
When I got back, of course Mrs. Henderson had something to say about it.
"Joanie, when I give you a job I intend for you to do that job by yourself."
"I never asked for any help."
"No, of course you didn't. I saw what happened. Do you think it's cute to manipulate guys like that?"
"I don't know. But it sure is fun."
"You perpetuate a stereotype of women as being helpless, unable to do things for ourselves."
"So why didn't you move the files yourself, then?"
"Joanie, I'm telling you once again, men don't do these things for free. One of these days, one of them is going to expect something from you. Then you'll be sorry."
"I doubt it."
"I don't care if you doubt it or not! I'm telling you, no more flirting to get out of work! Got it?"
"Yes. Anything else?"
"No. That'll do, for now."
I went home in a bad mood. Every day it was something. And when I told Tom about it, he just got all pissy about it. I don't know who was worse, Tom or my boss.
The next day I put on a tight blue and white dress. I needed Tom's help getting into it. It had a tight skirt, and I was only going to be able to take half a stride. All day long it would take me twice as long to get anywhere. But it did feel kind of sexy to be so tightly encased in a dress. Almost like having Tom's arms around me all day.
The skirt was the proper length, but still, I was sure Mrs. Henderson would find some reason to complain about it. But she had no objections.
Trouble was, I had nothing to do. I'd finished up the last of the paperwork the day before. I waited for her to call me in for some dictation. I waited a long time. Finally I just knocked on her door.
I went in, and asked, "What's on tap for today?"
-
"Nothing."
"Nothing? What do you mean nothing?"
"You're a good worker, Joanie. We were months behind when you got here. But now we're caught up. For the moment, we've got nothing to do."
"Well, can I go home, then?"
"No, of course you can't go home! You're paid to be here. You can't just leave."
"Why not, if there's nothing to do?"
"Some paperwork might come in from another office."
"So what am I supposed to do?"
"That's why we have the internet."
I went back to my cubicle. This was amazing to me, that people in an office could just be paid to sit around doing nothing. At school they tried to convince me that work was like a factory, that if I was caught wasting time or messing around I'd be fired. Clearly the teachers who told me this didn't know what they were talking about. But how could they? They were teachers. They'd never worked in an office. They were trapped in academia and knew nothing about real life.
I thought about all the workers I'd seen around the office who never seemed to be doing anything but looking at the internet. Were there workers in the office who literally never did anything? Was I about to become one of them?
I sat down, crossed my legs, and started surfing the web. I'd spent a few hours on the internet occasionally, but I couldn't imagine spending all day looking at sites and videos and forums. After a couple of hours I was bored out of my mind. I kept begging for some work to come in, but it never did.
I was exhausted by the end of the day, having nothing to do but surf the web. I came home and collapsed in the chair. I put my feet in Tom's lap, he took off my high heels and proceeded to rub my toes. It felt good.
"I can barely keep my eyes open," I moaned. "That was the longest day I ever spent."
"What were you doing?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"There was nothing to do. Hardest work I ever did. I'm exhausted."
"So if you did nothing, you got to sit down all day?"
"That's right."
"So why am I rubbing your feet?"
"Did you get a job today?"
"No."
"Then rub."
The next morning I put on a black and maroon dress with a full skirt. As soon as I got to work, Mrs. Henderson lost no time in calling me in to her office.
"You wore that dress just to challenge me, didn't you?"
"Yes that's right, Mrs. Henderson, that's the only reason I put on this dress today. That's the only reason I do anything; to piss you off. Would you mind telling me what the hell is wrong with my dress?"
"You know darn well it's so sheer that everybody can see your slip."
I hadn't noticed. I took a look at my dress. It was pretty sheer.
-
"You never said a word to me about wearing a sheer dress!"
"I never said anything about coming to work naked, either. Are you doing that tomorrow?"
"Not likely. So what am I supposed to do? Go home and change?"
"No, there's no time for that. Wear it today, but I don't ever want to see you coming to work in that dress again."
"But this is my favorite dress!"
That was true enough, insofar as whatever dress I had on was usually my favorite dress at the time, especially if it was the first time I ever wore it.
"Joanie, I'm not going to argue about this."
I stomped angrily out of the office. I saw that I finally had some work to do, today. I would make sure to pace myself and not work too fast, and save some work for tomorrow, just in case. I didn't think I could stand another do-nothing day. I went off to the break room to get a cup of coffee, muttering under my breath about my lousy boss who wouldn't let me wear what I wanted. My stomping caused one of my high heeled shoes to come loose. I bent down to fix it.
"Need some help there, Cinderella?"
I looked up and smiled.
-
When I stood and faced him, I got the shock of my life. I was face to face with Mr. Johnson! Tom's father!
I panicked. I had to get away from him! If he recognized me, he'd not only tell my mother where I was, he'd tell the whole office I was a boy! I couldn't imagine what all those men would do when they found out they'd been flirting with a boy in a dress!
I turned and moved away from him quickly, standing next to the counter, facing away from him, doing anything I could to keep him from seeing my face. He came up behind me and stood close to me. He towered over me. He held me by my shoulders, wanting to know if I was the new girl. He had no idea how new. He said he'd heard about me, wanted to know if he was really that hideous that he made a pretty young girl run at the sight of him.
Mr. Johnson was a widower, very good looking, and was known to be quite the ladies' man. I had no place to run, so if he was going to flirt with me, about all I could do was flirt back and hope he didn't recognize me. And I had plenty of practice when it came to flirting with men.
He didn't wait for me to turn, but took me by the shoulders and slowly spun me around to face him, my full skirt flaring about as I turned. I smiled.
"My name's Joanie," I said.
"And where are you running off to, pretty Joanie?"
"I was just a little shy about meeting the owner of the agency, is all. I was almost certain I had a run in my nylons."
Just to make him crazy, I went over to a chair and put up a leg, pretending to examine my pantyhose for runs.
-
"Do you see any runs?"
"No, I don't."
I sat down, and said, "So, what you're saying is that my legs look OK?"
I playfully tugged my skirt back just a little, so he could see.
-
"Your legs look incredibly sexy, Joanie, just like you. I see you already know who I am."
"I've seen your picture, Mr. Johnson."
"Wayne, please."
He put out a hand, which I grasped gently. Even his handshake was flirty. I must say, he didn't sound terribly bereaved by the fact that his son had run away.
It struck me that he might be useful in getting what I wanted. I was confident, by this time, in my ability to get nearly anything I wanted out of a man if I flirted hard enough. As a teenage boy I was powerless, but put me in a dress and pantyhose, lipstick and high heels, and I could promote just about anything for myself.
I was pretty. And I knew it.
-
"So, Mr. Johnson---Wayne. I guess you're my boss's boss, aren't you?"
-
"I guess I am."
I stood and showed off the dress I was wearing.
"Do you see anything wrong with my dress, Wayne?"
-
"It's a beautiful dress. It would look wonderful by candlelight, in a nice romantic restaurant."
"Can you believe Mrs. Henderson doesn't want me to wear it? She says it's too sheer."
"It is pretty sheer. I can see your underwear."
"Is that something to complain about?"
"Not from where I'm standing. You look very sexy."
"Mrs. Henderson has done nothing but complain about what I'm wearing, from the moment I got here. And I'm a good secretary. I'm a hard worker. But all she does is complain. Just a few days ago, she was complaining my skirt was too short." I stood closer to him, and said, "You wouldn't complain about a thing like that, would you? If I were yours?"
"Absolutely not."
"So how about having a talk with her, Wayne? For me?"
"I don't like to get involved in these kind of disputes in the office."
"Oh, well, I can understand if you're afraid of her. I'm afraid of her too, sometimes."
"Don't be silly."
I stepped closer to him, and played with his tie a little.
"You're the one being silly," I said. "Don't you want your employees to be happy? Don't you want a happy, productive workforce? This is my favorite dress. Wouldn't it be a shame if I didn't get to wear my favorite dress to work, any more?" I pouted.
"OK, I can see I'm not going to get out of this. Let's go."
We went into Mrs. Henderson's office, and he said, "Gladys, I understand you've been giving your secretary some grief about what she's wearing."
She looked up from what she was working on. She seemed a little put out, but she said, "All I ask for is proper business attire."
"And is there something improper about what she's wearing?"
"Do you think it's proper to walk around showing everyone your underwear? How about if the salesmen shuffle around the office with their pants around their ankles? Would that be OK?"
"Gladys, I don't want to argue about this," he said, and how sweet it was to hear those words directed to someone else for a change. "Is Joanie a good worker?"
"She's an excellent worker."
"Does she make many mistakes?"
"She's near perfect."
"Then I think she should be allowed to wear whatever she wants."
Mrs. Henderson looked from one to the other of us a few times, then shrugged her shoulders.
"OK, I'd say we're done here," he said. He turned and left, and I followed him.
I hugged him, and said, "Thank you! Thank you!"
"You're welcome. Now, how about having dinner with me?"
"Oh, no, I can't, Mr. Johnson. Wayne. I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry."
"Oh, Joanie, you're breaking my heart! Well, if you ever wise up and dump this loser, call me." He gave me a business card. Not having any pockets in my dress, I stuck it into my cleavage.
I thanked him again, then turned and headed back to my cubicle.
"I hate to see you go," he said, "but I love to watch you leave."
"You are so sweet!" I gushed.
-
And he was, too. His son could've used a little more of his charm.
Before I reached my cubicle, she called me in.
"I guess you're proud of yourself?" she said.
"I guess I am. How about you? Are you proud you made me have to do that, by micromanaging my skirts?"
"Joanie, if you'd rather be Mr. Johnson's secretary it can be arranged, and let me tell you, it's no picnic. I've heard stories about him chasing secretaries around the desk, and shoving them up against a file cabinet with his hand up their skirt."
"You keep telling me about that, but I've never seen it happen. When's it going to happen to me?"
"Be careful what you wish for, Joanie. Men don't do anything for free. By that business card sticking out of your bra, I can see he's already asked you out. Did you say yes?"
Not at all embarrassed, I shook my head no and took the card out of my cleavage, holding it casually in my hand.
"Is there anything else? I actually have some work today, for a change."
"You're dismissed," she said haughtily.
On my way back I crossed paths with Karen, a secretary who favored buttoned-up, Victorian-style blouses and long, shapeless, loose-fitting skirts in rather dull colors.
"Hi, Joanie. Wow, that's a beautiful dress you're wearing! And it's so sheer! I can see your slip!"
"I've heard."
"Don't you feel naked in that dress?"
"No. Mostly I just feel beautiful. And feminine."
"I wish I could wear something like that to work."
"Who says you can't?"
"Oh, I could never bring myself to wear that. It's not the way I was raised. Women would never dress like that in my family."
"Well, I have to admit, my mother wore dresses like this one to work all the time. But believe it or not, there was a time when I would never have even thought of wearing a dress. I used to wear nothing but pants."
"Really? I've never seen you in pants. I didn't know you owned any."
"I don't; not any more."
"So, what changed?"
"Well, one day I just put on a clingy dress, and people started to treat me differently. I didn't like it at first, but I warmed up to it. How about you? How about wearing a short skirt to work, for a change? Time to let those calves out of the barn."
"Oh no, I couldn't! I'm not beautiful and well-endowed, like you."
"Oh, I'm not that well endowed. I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm not even THIS well endowed. It wasn't that long ago, I was flat as a board."
"Wow. So, you had the operation?"
"No, not yet. These are just loaners. But I intend to have the operation, someday. I firmly believe you must become who you really are, in this world."
"Become who you really are," she whispered, awestruck. "Thank you, Joanie. Thank you."
She continued on her way. I'd like to say I had some effect on her, but she remained buttoned-up and Victorian to the very last day I ever saw her.
After that, I got to wear whatever dress I wanted. The next day I wore one of my Mom's floral dresses that buttoned up the front. I casually kept it unbuttoned down near the hem of my skirt. I sat there taking dictation that day, my legs crossed and my slip peeking out just a little bit, daring Mrs. Henderson to say something. I was timid and apprehensive, like someone poking a lion, but she never objected.
-
The next business day saw me in a short-skirted purple polka dot dress, which I absolutely loved wearing. I had bought myself some brand new dark pantyhose to wear with it.
-
Ready to flaunt my victory, I made so bold as put on one of Melissa's short, short dresses, a cute little yellow floral dress that tied in back. Mrs. Henderson didn't object, but she was fuming. She took her revenge by making me stay late, dictating one letter after another, late into the evening. By the time she was done I was exhausted.
-
The weeks went by, and before I knew it, it was the end of August. Soon it would be Labor day, and then school would be starting. That made the whole thing seem a lot more real. Was I really willing to give up school? Spend the rest of my life as a high school drop-out? I had a good job, but I'd lucked into it. What if I wasn't always so lucky? I didn't have a single scrap of ID with the name "Joanie" on it. How would I go about learning to drive, getting a driver's license? Would I be stuck taking the bus all my life? I still had the dream of one day having the operation and becoming 100% woman, but how could I ever do that on a secretary's salary? I began to think about going home to Mom.
There was only one thing. I would have to go back to being a boy.
I didn't think I could face that. Giving up that feeling of going out the door in a pretty floral dress, feeling pretty, feeling men's eyes on me, feeling how they wanted me. That feeling of crossing my legs in nylons, the tug of a tight skirt on my thighs as I walked, the feel of a colorful silk or chiffon dress flowing across my body as I strode down the hall and the skirt brushed against my fingers. It had been so many weeks since I'd worn pants, I couldn't even remember what it was like any more. How could I go back to being a boy? The idea was ridiculous.
Tom and I were fighting more and more. He was becoming a nightmare to live with. Not only had he not got a job, he kept bothering me to satisfy him sexually. I kept telling him I couldn't bring myself to give him oral sex, and why should I, anyway? I was supporting him, not the other way around! What did he do around here, what was he good for? It got so we did nothing but yell at each other, and I would go to work and be depressed all day.
One day, when I happened to be wearing a tiger print dress, Mrs. Henderson called me in for some dictation. As I sat down, tucking my skirt under my buttocks as usual, she said, "Aren't you forgetting something?"
-
"What?"
"Your pad. And something to write with might be good. Unless you're able to memorize a letter all by yourself."
"I'm sorry," I said. I made to slide off the chair and get my pen and my steno pad, when she stopped me with a question.
-
"What's wrong, Joanie? Why are you so depressed? This isn't like you. You've been moping around for weeks, now. Everyone misses the bright cheerful girl who brought sunshine into the office."
"No one can be cheerful every single day."
"What's wrong?"
"It's personal."
"Come on, Joanie. I know we've had our differences, but I feel very maternal toward you. I've never had a daughter, only sons. If I ever had a daughter I'd want her to be just like you."
"I doubt that very much."
"You're not leaving my office until I find out what's going on."
"It's just that, my boyfriend keeps bothering me. He wants me to do something for him. Something I'm just not prepared to do."
"Oh, it's like that, is it? What does the bum want?'
"Mrs. Henderson, I can't talk about it, it's too personal."
"Spill it!" she said, with such vehemence that I told her Tom wanted oral sex.
"That's it? Really? That's nothing! It's like a handshake!"
"It's disgusting."
"I know it might seem disgusting if you've never done it before, but believe me, give it a try. You'll be addicted to it in no time."
"Would it make any difference if I said I was a virgin?"
"You've never had sex with Tom at all? Joanie, what are you waiting for? OK, that's none of my business, but Joanie, you've got to do something to keep a man! You think he's going to be satisfied with making out?"
"He used to be. Why should I be worried about satisfying him? I'm supporting him."
"Then kick his ass out! But if you're not going to do that, you need to do something to keep him happy. Why'd you ever move in with him if you weren't prepared to do at least that much? You can't just half-way live with a man! You need to commit to this relationship, or get out. There's just no two ways about it."
"You really think I should do this?"
"I'll tell you what. Go right now. Surprise him. I'll give you the afternoon off. We'll call it family emergency."
"Really?"
"You're no good to anyone moping around like this. Go home and put on something sexy. Oh what am I saying, the dress you've got on is sexy enough. Go home and give him what he wants."
I rode the bus home in a kind of a daze. I couldn't believe I was about to do this. I just hoped I could get through it all without retching. I guess there was more to being a woman than wearing pretty dresses.
I expected to find him back at our hotel room, but he was gone. I looked around for someplace I could arrange myself in a sexy way to greet him as he came through the door. I thought of lying on the bed, but I settled for lying on the floor so he could see me right when he came in.
I heard him coming. I sprawled on the floor, looking delectable, I hoped.
-
As he came in, I heard a girlish giggle accompany him. He came in with a beautiful young woman in her twenties. They were making out as they came in the door together.
-
A woman. A real woman. A genuine, genetic, born-that-way girl.
I was stunned. They both stopped when they saw me. The woman just looked annoyed. She wanted to know who I was. Tom asked her to leave, which she wasn't too happy about, but she complied.
With difficulty, I got up off the floor and brushed myself off.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I've never done that before."
"Don't touch me!" I said, though he wasn't trying to touch me.
"I'm sorry," he repeated.
"Oh, don't be sorry. This was bound to happen eventually. I knew one day you'd be leaving me for a real girl who can give you all kinds of things I can't. I knew, I just knew, the very day I took off my white dress, we were doomed."
"Joanie, this has nothing to do with you taking off any dress! This is about the fact that you don't love me enough to do what I'm asking you to do."
"Yeah? And you don't love me enough to wait for me and be patient."
"I've waited for you all summer!"
"Don't touch me!" I said, and that time he really WAS trying to touch me. "I've had it. It's over between us."
"Joanie, please, let's talk about this."
"No. No more talking. Go find yourself another girl to live off of."
"Where are you going?"
"Home."
I grabbed my purse. I went out and got a cab.
Funny, I didn't even feel like crying. If I'd been a real woman I would've been bawling my eyes out, I guess.
I didn't look forward to confronting my mother. When I finished my cab ride home, I waited in the park until six o'clock before I made my way back to the house.
Mom was home. I went in the back yard and knocked at the back door. I didn't want to have this confrontation in front of the neighbors. I saw my Mom's face in the window, and boy, was she livid!
She seemed to be taking a long time to answer the door. I took a few steps back to try to see what was going on. Finally, she showed up, and in her hands she had one of my shirts and a pair of my trousers, and some of my underpants.
"Hi, Mom."
"Take off my dress! Take it off, this instant!"
"Can't we talk about this?"
"No! Take off that dress, and all that lingerie, and everything else you're wearing, or you're not coming in this house! If you want to keep wearing my dresses, you can just turn around and go back where you came from!"
"I'm sorry, Mom."
"Sorry! For stealing my dresses? For disappearing for three months? You bet you're sorry! You're the sorriest excuse for a boy I've ever seen! If your Dad could see you now he'd disown you! And you still haven't taken off that dress!"
My three sisters began to slowly file out the door and stand behind my mother.
"Mom, you're the one who started all this," I said.
"Fine. I started it; I'm ending it. Take off that dress!"
Melissa came and stood next to me.
"Mom," she said, "I was the one who helped Joanie steal all your dresses. You should be mad at me, too. And she's been wearing some of my dresses as well, so I'm a part of this."
"Don't call him Joanie! This is your brother!"
Melanie came and stood next to us. She said, "Mom, I think we need to seriously consider that Joanie was meant to be a girl. She needs us to be understanding about this. One day she may want to have the operation. We have to help her though this."
"Johnny is a boy! I don't want to hear any nonsense about having any operation!"
Melinda joined us, and said, "Mom, please at least promise you'll take Joanie to a doctor to investigate the possibility. And you have to allow her to be a girl around the house sometimes. Not all the time, but she's going to go crazy if you don't let her dress up now and then. Look at her. Can't you see she was meant to be a girl?"
My mother sighed heavily. She looked at me intently, considering.
"I notice you didn't keep to your promise of wearing the same dress all summer."
I looked down at the ground. I was more ashamed and embarrassed by that than anything else.
"This is what you all want?" asked my mother.
My sisters nodded.
"Fine. I'll take him to a doctor. A gender specialist. And he can dress up, sometimes. But for now, out of my dress, out of my lingerie. Right now, or you're not coming in."
I looked at my sisters. Sadly, I unzipped the side zipper on the dress I was wearing, and took it off. I wriggled out of my slip. Melinda undid my longline bra. The falsies fell to the ground. I was glad no neighbors could see into our backyard. I stepped out of my high heels and pulled down my girdle. I grabbed the trousers and was going to put them on.
"Pantyhose off," said Mom.
I peeled off my pantyhose, and took off my panties. I picked up my male underpants and put them on. That wasn't so bad. Then I put on my trousers.
That was when I lost it. As I zipped up my fly I started to cry uncontrollably. My sisters hugged me. My mother stepped forward and hugged me. She helped me put my shirt on, and buttoned it for me.
"I'm sorry," she said. "We'll get through this together. But I need you to be a boy, right now. School is starting soon, and they won't let you go to school as a girl. Maybe one day you can have the operation, but that's still a long way off. In the meantime, I'll try to be more understanding. We'll see what the doctor says."
We went inside.
That wasn't the end of my long journey, but it was the end of the summer, so I think I will end the tale right here. I did eventually have the operation, but not until many years later. Strange that I never had so much as an inkling of my desire to become a woman until that fateful day when my Mom and my sisters got that idea of a singularly unique punishment into their heads, but I'm sure there are any number of comparably significant events or inclinations in the lives of a great many of us that have come about in a similarly random fashion.
Mom went to our hotel room and retrieved the rest of her dresses. Tom couldn't find another girl to live off of, so he came home. I never forgave him for cheating on me.
I sent a letter to Mrs. Henderson saying I was quitting, citing her personal comments and her unasked for advice as the reason.
Many years, and many treatments later, I eventually married Mr. Johnson. I am now Tom's stepmother.
THE END
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:) That story was awesome. I enjoyed it all the way through.