Fred was just getting used to the giggling and cameras flashing when Nicole, another mom hell-bent on apparently re-transitioning her son back to infancy, ushered Daniel on stage. He was dressed similarly to Fred, clad in nothing but an adult-sized Huggies, complete with Winnie the Pooh pattern and an extra padding for absorbency. Daniel was a kid who steered clear of any imaginable controversy and liked to vanish in the crowd. But the current proceedings would undoubtedly obliterate his love for invisibility.
Without further ado, Kate handed over a baby lemon dress and petticoat to Fred, instructing him to help Daniel into the attire. Fred tried to rebel, defending his already deflated dignity, but a swift, bare-bottom spank from Kate cut his protests short. Sans any further questioning, Fred helped Daniel into the humiliating outfit, trying hard not to choke on his mortified pride.
With both boys now standing on stage in similar infantile attire, Kate sprung next phase of unimaginable embarrassment. A mandatory Barney sing-along with a twist; the one who dipped most convincingly into their infant persona by singing and dancing with utmost enthusiasm would be declared the winner. And the prize was the short-lived freedom from this infantile world. Eager to escape their torturous roles, both boys prepared for the challenge.
Susan retrieved the dusty VHS of Barney from a box marked 'Baby Nostalgia.' The old VHS fluttered to life, ringing through the hall with the familiar theme tune that had once been every toddlerâs favorite. Barney's purple, grinning face appeared on the screen, his green, rotund belly shifting as he began the familiar, but embarrassingly childish dance routine to his song, "The More We Get Together." The dinosaur's upbeat singing echoed in the hall, a stark contrast to the tense atmosphere. The crowd watched with bated breath, the room vibrating in anticipation of the spectacle that was about to unfold.
Fred and Daniel, their faces flushed with humiliation, glanced at each other, taking deep breaths before awkwardly starting to bounce along to the cheery rhythm. Barney's wide, toothy grin seemed to mock them as the screen flickered, illuminating the boys' predicament for the eager onlookers. As they attempted to keep up with the dinosaurâs delightfully silly dance, their mothers and Kate circled them, suppressing their laughter and egging the boys on.
"Come on, Felicity, sing it with feeling!" Susan hollered, imitating Barney's mannerisms to get a rise out of the crowd. At the same time, Fred could only pray that the floor would swallow him.
After enduring another few rounds of "Old MacDonald had a Farm" and "This Old Man" â the kiddie classics Fred and Daniel mimicked with pointed precision â Kate showboated her expertise in Barney knowledge. "Oh come on, boys, you can do better!" she mock-chided. "See Barney here? Mix up the steps a little, add in a bit of toddler technique!"
Cue the chorus of âJohny Johny Yes Papaâ, Daniel had a wrong move. He spun on the wrong beat and received quite the piece of his mother, Nicoleâs mind, âDaniela, you call that a spin? Why, you look like a Pole dancer all set to get tips!â
The audience was in stitches, and Daniel felt his cheeks flame as his situation sunk in ever deeper, his voice wavering on the edges of the saccharine sweet rhyme, his demeanor crumbling under the weight of his humiliation.
Barney and his gang of prehistoric creatures were singing âItsy Bitsy Spiderâ when Fred missed a beat. âOh, Felicity, seems like you're having a hard time keeping up!â Kate jested. The crowd howled, doubled over in laughter at Fred's poor attempt at climbing imaginary spouts with his flailing, gangly limbs. The laughter was piercing, a stark reminder of his loss of pride.
âWheels on the Bus,â brought forth a new torture, as Susan gleefully corrected Fredâs motion of round and round, âNo, Felicity darling, the wheels go âround and roundâ not âround in circlesâ!â
Each lyric was a fresh stab at their dignity, each movement a mockery of their age. The room reverberated with peals of laughter like a nursery rhyme from hell. The song and dance routine from Barney and his cohorts seemed to drag on endlessly for Fred and Daniel. With every verse sung cheerfully by the purple dinosaur, the corresponding dance move executed animatedly by BJ and Baby Bop, the boys found themselves spiraling deeper into their nightmarish farce.
When the finale of "Barney is a Dinosaur" came on, both boys, thoroughly exhausted by the mental and physical strain of their forced performance, breathed a sigh of relief. The ordeal was far from over, of course, but every disgusting sweetness of that Barney tape was a closed chapter. As Barney ended his episode with a giggling wave, the room fell into a giddy, satisfied silence, the sordid spectacle reflected in their eyes, captured in their minds, and forever burnt into Fred and Daniel's memories.
Once the Barney marathon ended, sweat soaked through Fred and Daniel's baby dresses, and they panted, hoping that the ordeal was over. Kate, however, revealed that their efforts had been in vain. The singing competition had just been another scheme to exacerbate their embarrassment. This announcement further crushed their already beleaguered spirits.
Without wasting another moment, Nicole and Susan grabbed the arms of their respective, humiliated sons to hold them in place. Out of the blue, Kate brought out a futuristic metallic device from her bag, a wicked smile playing on her lips. She waved the device with a dramatic flourish and implanted something into the heads of both boys.
âWell," Kate said, her voice sharp and triumphant over the now-silent crowd, "It looks like our boys ? I mean, our baby girls, Felicity and Danielle, will be under my control from now on.â
Her words echoed ominously around the hall, each syllable eliciting gasps and whispers from the thrilled crowd. Fred and Daniel, the sensations in their heads giving way to a curious numbness, stood there, united in their unexpected bond of humiliation. All they could do was watch in wide-eyed terror as Kate sealed their fate with a wicked grin.