part 5
It is pretty late, and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, don't want to get Mom mad by making her late. So I tell Kathy I've got to hurry, and I head back home at a brisk walk. I don't meet anyone else.
When I get home, I grab a quick breakfast and Mom takes Caroline and me to The Equality Center. Since Caroline and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, have the same Switch Day, Caroline is wearing pants and a shirt with dark socks and boys' shoes.
As usual, I, Robyn Jodie Alison, am the first one in my group to arrive at The Equality Center. Today we will all be alike again, only this time we will all be dressed like Girls. Alison arrives about 15 minutes after I do. She is wearing a light blue dotted swiss dress with a lace edged white Peter Pan collar and a white front yoke that is pleated outward from the center with a lace ruffle edging each pleat. It really looks cute on her. I, Robyn Jodie Alison, am so glad to see Alison that I run to her and give her a hug. Hugging her seems so natural now that both of us are "Girls," but when we were still "boys" I would never have hugged her. Not only am I, Robyn Jodie Alison, dressed like a Girl, I am starting to feel like a Girl, think like a Girl, and act like a Girl.
After greeting Alison I tell her how much I like her pretty dress. We talk for another 10 minutes or so till Lindy, Crissy, and Jamie arrive. Then we all talk and play together.
Several minutes before the bell for school, Alison, Lindy, Crissy, Jamie, and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, are jumping rope. A boy (at least he's dressed like a boy) comes up to us. "Could you Girls move over a little so we can play here too?" he asks.
I tell him we'd be glad to. Then he tries to get us not just to move over but to go to a different area. I brush my dress with both hands. "Look," I tell him, "just because I am a Girl does not mean I am stupid. We'll move to let you in, but we won't move out."
As he is walking back to his friends, he points to me, Robyn Jodie Alison, and says, "Watch out for THAT Girl, she's a real witch!" As far as they are concerned, I, Robyn Jodie Alison, am a Girl and so are Alison, Jamie, Lindy and Crissy. More, than that, I, Robyn Jodie Alison, just SAID I was a Girl!
Soon the bell rings and we line up for classes. The rest of the day is uneventful. Alison, Lindy, Jamie, Crissy and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, will all be "Girls" till Thursday when Lindy and Crissy have their Switch day. We have a good time playing together.
Tuesday Jan 18
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Today I, Robyn Jodie Alison, will have been at The Equality Center for a full week. Last week I wore pants, acted like a boy, and was treated like a boy. This week I am wearing dresses and Mary Jane shoes and acting and being treated like a Girl. Again today I get up early, get dressed, and go out front for a walk. I am wearing my pink smock dress today. It is even shorter than the dress I wore yesterday and I am wearing a plain slip and not a petticoat under it. Today on my walk I turn right and head down the street, cross, and cross again, meaning to go around the block again, but backwards from the way I went yesterday. When I get to Kathy Martin's house, she is waiting for me. I try to wave and keep going, but she wants to talk.
"Hi, Robyn Jodie," she says, coming out to walk with me.
"Hi, Kathy," I reply.
"Got a minute?" she asks.
"Not really," I say, pausing. "I have to get home to go to school."
"I'll walk with you," she says. "What kind of school are you going to where you have to wear a dress and Girls' shoes?"
"It's called The Equality Center. It's not just a school, it's a day-care center, too. You go there in the morning and stay till your parents pick you up in the evening."
"But why are you wearing a pink dress and Girls' party shoes?"
"It's called The Equality Center because they believe in COMPLETE equality between boys and Girls. Nobody is supposed to know whether you are a boy or a Girl. They figure that the way to make boys and Girls truly equal is for everybody to get the chance to be treated both ways, so we have to spend a week in boys' clothes being treated like boys, then a week in Girls' clothes being treated like Girls, and so on. Yesterday was my first day on the Girls' side of things."
"How weird."
"It feels pretty weird to me, too: having to wear dresses and Mary Jane shoes, being called a Girl, and being treated like a Girl after living all my life as a boy." We talk some more as we walk around the block together.
When we get back to my corner, I go straight and Kathy turns right heading home. I just have time for a quick breakfast and Caroline and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, are off to The Equality Center. Nothing much happens at school. As usual, I spend most of my time with Alison, Lindy, Jamie, and Crissy.
part 6
Wednesday Jan 19
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I do not go for a walk before school this morning--it was too embarrassing yesterday to have Kathy Martin asking me about The Equality Center--and having to TALK about wearing Girls' clothes as well as just wearing them. Nothing particular happens at The Equality Center. Alison, Lindy, Crissy and Jamie are all there. Being a "Girl" isn't so bad. In fact wearing Girls' clothes is rather cool.
Thursday Jan 20
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Today Lindy and Crissy came dressed as boys again. Today is their Switch day. I remember how I felt last week when they came in Girls' clothes, and I thought they were Girls who had passed themselves off on me as boys. Well today our roles are reversed. Alison, Jamie and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, are the ones who in dresses, Girls' socks, and Mary Jane shoes, and Lindy and Crissy are dressed like boys. It's funny how boys seem to feel like they have to act superior to Girls, even when it was only yesterday that the "boy" WAS a "Girl." Will I do that too? I hope not! One thing I hope I have leaned this week is to appreciate the Girls' perspective. Boys can be really stupid about how they treat Girls.
Friday Jan 21
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Today is Alison's switch day. He is back in boys' clothes. Only Jamie and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, are still "Girls." I realized today when I saw Alison that I really don't know what any of my friends are. I, Robyn Jodie Alison, might be the only boy in the group. Or we all might be boys, as I thought when I started going to The Equality Center. I just don't know.
Now that Jamie and I are the only "Girls," Alison, Lindy, and Crissy treat us differently. Even Alison! I thought he was my best friend, but he acts as if I weren't as good as he and his friends because I am still a Girl. Jamie has been here at The Equality Center longer than I have. I ask her what is happening. She tells me not to worry, that Monday when we are all boys again it will be different. Aren't these guys learning anything from switch days?
Saturday Jan 22
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I wonder if Mom isn't carrying "Switch Day" too far. She says my Switch Day is Monday, so I will keep wearing Girls' clothes till Monday. So today I have wear a dress and Mary Jane shoes, just like I have been wearing all week. But that's okay with me--I think I actually prefer wearing dresses and Mary Jane shoes like a little Girl.
About nine o'clock, Mom sends me outside, bare legged like a Girl in my dress, Mary Jane shoes, ruffled ankle socks, and Girls "Spanky Pants" panties. She locks the door behind me and locks the gate to my back yard. I am to stay out front and "play with my friends." Wearing little Girls' clothes at The Equality Center where everyone else wears them half the time and nobody knows whether I am a Girl or a boy is one thing. Wearing them around my own neighborhood where NONE of the other boys EVER wear them and everyone knows I am a boy is something else. I wonder whether it would be better for me to go up a couple of blocks where nobody knows me, rather than face the kids I know--and who know me--dressed like a little Girl. I decide to stay. Caroline made sure the whole neighborhood saw me in Girls' clothes last Sunday, how can today be any worse than that?
* * *
I underestimated Caroline's ingenuity. The other Girls and boys laugh at me. They taunt me and call me a "fairy," a "Sissy Girl," and worse. Any time I try to hide, Caroline finds me and leads the other Girls and boys to me. Any time they become less interested in humiliating and tormenting me, Caroline stirs them up again. They torment me. They pinch my rear as if I were a Girl. They stomp my insteps where my white socks showed below the straps of my Mary Jane shoes. They finally tie me up with my back to a telephone pole and leave me up there for over an hour. Every few minutes someone comes back to taunt me for being a "Sissy Girl," and hit or pinch me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 7
Sunday Jan 23
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I, Robyn Jodie Alison, get up at seven a.m. and get dressed in my pink party dress and my newest Mary Jane shoes. Mom fixes pink bows in my hair. This Sunday I know what to expect, but I think that makes it worse rather than better. Mom and Caroline get dressed up, and we three leave for church.
At church I, Robyn Jodie Alison, am once again the object of stares, giggles, and taunts. I endure it. I don't really have a choice. Here I am, a bare legged boy in Mary Jane shoes and a pink dress with petticoats under it like a little Girl. I can't very well hide what I am wearing. I just have to take whatever humiliation and ridicule the other Girls and boys want to lay on me--and there is a lot of it.
After church Mom locks me out front again. I, Robyn Jodie Alison Cissie, have to face the neighborhood kids dressed like a Girl. I am embarrassed. The other kids laugh at me. They flip up my dress to expose my panties. They call me "Robyn Jodie Girl" and "Mary Jane Sissy Girl." They all think it is funny to see me, Robyn Jodie Alison Cissie, a boy, dressed from the skin out like a little Girl.
Monday Jan 24
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Today is Jamie's and my switch day. I, Robyn Jodie Alison Cissie, get up and get dressed in boys' clothes again. I am wearing pants for the first time since a week ago last Saturday! But Mom is making me wear panties under them, and girls' socks, too: with turned down tops, but without the lace ruffles. Today when Alison, Lindy, Crissy, and Jamie arrive, we are all once again dressed as boys. And our behavior seems rather more boyish as well. I miss wearing my Mary Jane shoes. I know that young boys sometimes wear them--I wonder if I could get away with wearing them during my boy weeks.
Friday Jan 28
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The week has been unsurprisingly like my first week at The Equality Center. We all wore boys' clothes till Thursday. Then Lindy and Crissy had to switch back to Girls' clothes. Today Alison joined them, and on Monday Jamie and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, will be completing the group. The nice thing this week is being able to play with the other boys around the neighborhood without apology and without comment. Caroline has told them that next week I will be back in dresses and Mary Jane shoes, but that is next week. This afternoon, Mom picks me up from The Equality Center at about 3 pm instead of 5:30 when she usually gets us. As soon as we get home, I, Robyn Jodie Alison, have to get dressed in my Girls' clothes again. My Switch Day isn't till Monday, but Mom is already starting me in my Girls' clothes.
Saturday Jan 29
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Mom is making me wear Girls' clothes again today. Why doesn't she wait till Monday, my Switch Day? Or if I am going to have to switch into Girls' clothes on Friday afternoons, why doesn't she let me switch back on Friday afternoon as well? This way, I have to wear Girls' clothes for 9 and a half days, followed by only 4 and a half days of boys' clothes. Anyway, I, Robyn Jodie Alison, am back in dresses and Mary Jane shoes for the week; probably till Monday week. The other Girls and boys in the neighborhood taunt and tease me, but I an getting used to what I have to go through because I go to The Equality Center. Two boys have told me that maybe The Equality Center is right: maybe "switch days" like we have at The Equality Center are the only way to ensure that boys and Girls are treated with complete equality. But do they want to go to The Equality Center with me? Not on your life!
Sunday Jan 30
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This will be my third Sunday going to church in little Girls' clothes. Two weeks ago, I was a sensation. Last week I was the butt of numerous jokes. Today things are better; not good, just better. Eventually the novelty will wear off and my having to wear a dress and petticoat and Mary Jane shoes, will not excite much comment--I hope.
Monday Jan 31
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Today the whole team, Lindy, Crissy, Alison, Jamie, and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, are all dressed like little Girls. I am getting used to the rhythm of boy weeks and Girl weeks. And for me The Equality Center is working: there is no question that I understand the million subtle ways our society lets Girls know they are considered inferior to boys and tries to keep them in their place. I know from spending every other week and all my week-ends dressed as a Girl and being treated like a Girl.
part 8
Tuesday Feb 1
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This afternoon when I get home from The Equality Center, some of the other boys from the neighborhood are out playing. I, Robyn Jodie Alison, say hello to them. Something is different. They look at me as if I just dropped down from the moon.
"Get out of here, little Girl," Richard Landers tells me.
"Yeah," says Bobby Weider, "We don't play with little Girls!"
I thought Richard and Bobby were two of my best friends. "Hey, wait a minute," I say. "I'm not a Girl. You know that."
"Do we?" says Richard. "You sure LOOK like a Girl in your little pink dress and your shiny Girls' shoes."
"I told you," I say. "Caroline will tell you, too. At The Equality Center, nobody is supposed to know whether you are a Girl or a boy. To make sure, and everyone spends half of his or her time in pants and half in dresses. This is my week for dresses. But I'm still a boy!"
"Well, since you wear dresses this week, you're a Girl this week," Richard says. "So get out of here this week."
Bobby laughs. "Yeah, little Girl: go play with the other Girls!"
"The other little Fairy Girls," Richard adds maliciously. "The only boys I know who dress like Girls are little Fairies. So why don't you flit off with your little Fairy friends, Robyn Jodie Alison, little pink Fairy Girl in your little pink dress. And don't bother coming back when you're NOT wearing your little pink Fairy dress. We don't play with Fairy Girls even when they aren't wearing their little pink dresses and patent leather Girls' shoes."
"Hey, I thought we were friends," I say.
"You're right," Bobby says, "we WERE friends--till you turned into a Sissy little Fairy Girl."
I feel like crying. I turn and head home so they wouldn't see how upset I am. If they see me crying they will tell me that this proves I am a Girl because only Girls cry. I slip quietly home. I cry. Apparently my friends don't want to be my friends any more.
Monday Feb 7
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I, Robyn Jodie Alison, am a "Boy" at The Equality Center this week, so I am back in pants and boys' shoes. I still think 9+1/2 days as a Girl and 4+1/2 days as a boy is unfair--especially because I *AM* a boy--but that is how Mom is making me dress. Today, as soon as I get home, I go looking for Richard and Bobby, my two former friends who were so cruel to me last week when I had to dress like a Girl.
"Hi, Sissy Fairy Girl," Richard says when he sees me, "where're your little pink dress and your Girls' shoes?"
"SHE's not wearing them this week," Bobby sneers.
"Hey," I say, "give me a break. It's not as if I LIKE running around in dresses like a little Girl. Mom is MAKING me."
"Well," Bobby says, "You are a big Fairy as far as we're concerned."
"Yeah," Richard adds, "You are a Sissy Girl. You are like a tomboy only the other way round. You are a boy who dresses and acts like a Girl."
"We don't want any Sissy Girls around here," says Bobby, "so why don't you just flit back off to Fairyland. Get out of here!"
"Beat it, Sissy Girl," Richard says.
I wonder: will I ever be able to play with any of the boys in my neighborhood again? Even if I get out of The Equality Center, will they ever have anything to do with me again?
At least Caroline will still play with me. Tonight as we play "Beauty Shop," Caroline uses real scissors and cuts big chunks out of my hair. Mom practically had to give me a "buzz" to even it up.
Tuesday Feb 8
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Today when we arrived at The Equality Center, they wouldn't let me in. My hair is too short. I must go home and change into one of my Girl outfits. I am going to have to dress like a Girl during both my boy weeks and my Girl weeks until my hair grows back out. Mom takes me home. I have to change into a dress and Mary Jane shoes. Then we go back. I think Caroline cut my hair last night on purpose! She is dressed like a girl today, and I, Robyn Jodie Alison, am going to have to dress like a Girl full time till my hair grows out!
Alison, Crissy, Lindy, and Jamie missed me. They can see what has happened as soon as they see my hair and my Girls' clothes during my boy week. I, Robyn Jodie Alison, am stuck in dresses and Mary Jane shoes for months now. Why not? All my former friends call me a Fairy and a Sissy Girl. And they're right. I like my Girls' clothes better than boys' clothes. I wish I could spend the rest of my life in short pink dresses, panties, cuff top anklet socks with lace Sissy ruffles, and shiny patent leather Mary Jane shoes! I, Robyn Jodie Alison Cissie, am a Sissy Girl, a tomboy in reverse: I am a boy who LIKES to dress and behave like a little Girl. Hooray for The Equality Center.
END