Once upon a time….
I
It was time for the routine inspection of apartments, a thing they did periodically and only after letting the residents know about when they’d be conducting the walk throughs. It was a cursory glance to inspect for damage and what not-nothing exhaustive. The managers fanned out with maintenance men in tow and walked through a maze of apartments in various and unpredictable states of upkeep. It was at times refreshing and at times, made one want to shower.
One unit on the list was in good repair, quite clean and tidy. The only remark was to wonder when and if the tenant had got permission to paint the very tasteful accent wall, but no issue of a reminder to change it back. The occupant of the unit obviously cared for it quite well.
The worst that could be said was that he didn’t always put his clothing away and that was quite a curiosity. There were no children listed as living in the apartment and the juvenile clothing that was on a freshly made bed and a bathroom floor was clearly not of a size that would fit a child. It did correspond to roughly the size of the meek, but ever so polite resident of that apartment. And, this was not some sort of a “fashion” item that might simply be mistaken for baby clothes-these were adult sized, baby clothes. Her curiosity peaked, the manager checked inside a kitchen cabinet or two, a level of scrutiny not all apartments received, and her curiosity was rewarded-baby bottles.
The resident was a good tenant, paid his rent on time, never a complaint, so there was no reason to see the curious items as anything nefarious that might require action. But, she did want to know more.
The resident got home pretty predictably at around 5:30. The manager showed up at 6. She knocked on the door. He answered, still dressed from work, in casual clothes, nothing hinting at the very different clothing choices she had observed earlier. She asked if she could speak to him and he invited her in, asking, as a good host, if he could get her anything. As he started for the kitchen, she noticed that as he turned around the slacks he was wearing were not loose in the back, at least not as loose as she would have anticipated and might even have looked like they were stretched over a puffy fabric underneath.
He invited her to sit as he returned with a glass of wine he had poured for himself and again, offered her the same. She once again declined and silently wondered if he had forgone the baby bottle on her account. She started the conversation by mentioning the inspection walk through and then immediately going to the subject of the accent wall. She complimented it, but asked from whom he had gotten permission to paint. He related the details, it had been with a prior management company and then, his speech halted for a moment and he had a very, very brief, but visible, moment of concern. The manager didn’t miss it. She knew that in his mind he had just completed the inventory of what was visible while he was away. She did not leave him hanging.
He had slumped slightly in the chair, a thoughtful gaze had taken over his face where before he had been looking the manager in the eyes with a cheerful gaze. She had sat upright, hands in lap, an air authority that could not be missed….
“I saw some interesting clothing items, can you tell me about those?”
She had not given him time to concoct a story. She added, somewhat deceptively, that they had concerned her as they might indicate some latent interest in children and require reporting to the proper authorities. He could not have known that her interest was purely personal and that she knew he was harmless; he felt obliged to offer an explanation, only enough he hoped, to dissuade her from any revelations.
As he began to speak, it occurred to her that he was shrinking, shrinking into the chair. It was obvious he very much wanted to shrink away from her stare, which he did his best not to meet. He apologized for leaving the clothes out. He did his best to effusively plead that he had no interest in involving children, an idea she had already settled against. He explained that he only wore those things behind closed and locked doors and involved no one else. It was his personal escape.
She could see a tear forming in his eye. It brought a couple of conflicting emotions to the surface-a maternal sympathy and….something that wanted to see him even further reduced. She stood, urged him to continue in his exposition and as he spoke, she picked up his wine glass and took it to the kitchen. He didn’t know why, but a part of him thought, “…maybe she knows I’ll need more after this is over.” He was wrong-she made a show of pouring the wine in the sink, while looking him in the eye and without losing his gaze, retrieved the baby bottle from the cabinet and, filling it with milk, returned to sit, holding it for him to grab. He timidly reached forth a hand, to which she offered the correction, “NO. Both hands.”
It was her turn. She questioned him on how long he had indulged this interest. She asked what all he had in the apartment and where it was hidden, making sure to ask in such a way that it sounded as if she already knew and was simply testing his honesty. He didn’t fail the test, relating the location of diapers, plastic pants, pacifiers, adult baby videos, and other things he had never wanted found by anyone.
She stood, looking down on a grown man suc-king on a bottle of milk and openly crying. The power she felt at that moment was like no other she had felt to that point, it was intoxicating. She still felt a sympathy, but she was not about to let him up now, she had no intention of not enjoying to the fullest that which was coursing through her at that moment. She became faintly aware that it was likewise tingling her in places that might not have been so affected by a grown man, suc-king on a bottle and crying.
She spoke with the same quiet authority, knowing he would offer no resistance, “Take your bottle and go stand in the corner. Do not speak; do not turn around; do not do anything until I call for you. Do you understand?”
He knew, somehow, that an affirmative nod was best.
Having deposited him in the corner, she went to the closet where he had indicated the remainder of his collection was hidden. Right there behind the long coat and the bathrobe was a small, set of plastic drawers. Opening them revealed that he had an affinity for pink. There were disposable diapers, plastic pants, all he had mentioned and some other items he had neglected to mention. She took her time, the look in his eyes as she had turned him to face the corner assured her that she needn’t hurry. A sniffle from the other room confirmed the spell was holding.
After she had inspected, she returned and standing behind him she noticed a smell, slightly of ammonia and she knew instantly, without even turning him around, that he had wet his pants as he stood in the corner. She could not have denied that she felt a power over him, she had no idea it was strong enough that he would not ask to use a bathroom. Her command to not speak had been one she hadn’t bothered to think would be obeyed to the point of abject humiliation, but here it was-a grown man, face turned to a corner, with a bottle of milk wearing pants he has just pissed. The tingling she had earlier noticed was now a decided throb. She determined then and there, that this was going to continue.