Brian’s mother rummaged in her handbag while he squirmed in the car in his nappy. “Where are my door keys? Hold on. I put them in the hemp bag with his clothes.” She looked at the back seat. “We do have the hemp bag don’t we?” She reached back and moved the bags around. Brian turned and looked as best he could in the view restricted by his bonnet.
“I don’t believe it. We must have left it behind in the rush!” Brian was distracted by the sight of two girls coming along the pathway towards them. He looked front and down terrified of being seen in his baby dress.
“You can come and stay in my house until the photographer comes back from his weekend gig”, Anna offered. Brian started thinking about the implications of this. “Thank you so much!” his mother accepted and started the car. The girls got to the gate as she reversed out. Brian could hear them.
“Who’s that in the back of Brian’s mum’s car?” “Is it a baby?” “She’s too big to be a baby!” the other girl scoffed. “She’s suc-king on a soother!” Brian cringed. The car sped off. At least he hadn’t heard his name mentioned.
His mother looked in the rear view mirror. “Sorry sweetie but we left your clothes behind at the studio and can’t get them until Monday.” Brian was still processing this following the close shave with the girls.
Hearing no response, his mother continued. “Still, we have your three baby dresses and a sleeper!” Anna giggled. “Nnnggghhh!” They had reached the main road and Brian was reluctant to spit out his soother to protest properly.
“And I have a full bag of nappies and plastic pants” his mother continued to Anna beside her, ignoring his whimpering. “How many changes do you think he’ll need each day”, Anna asked glancing back at him in his baby dress. They were surrounded on both sides now by traffic and he couldn’t spit the soother out. “Nnnngggghhh, nnnggghhh!” he whimpered.
When they got to Anna’s house he was desperate to get in out of sight and the women followed with the bags containing his baby dresses and nappies.
Once inside and observing them come in with the bags he spat the soother out. “Mum! Please! You can’t keep me in these” he protested holding out his petticoats. She just smiled sympathetically. “Sorry sweetie but we don’t have any other clothes for you. No trousers, shirts or underwear. It’s lucky that we have the dresses and nappies!” He didn’t feel lucky.
“We’ll clearly have to keep his hands in those mittens to stop him taking off his dress or nappy”, Anna suggested. “Can’t have him running around naked in my house!” Brian sighed heavily. He stuck his mittens under his arms and tried pull them off but they wouldn’t budge.
Anna went up to the attic to see what she could find that would be useful. She brought them down to the sitting room. There was a folded up play-pen and once again a collection of rattles, blocks and things for babies to hit and play notes or make animal noises.
Because real baby things were rejected for Brian’s photo shoot as being disproportionate to his size, he didn’t pay them much attention now. But Anna set up the octagonal play-pen. “Look there are other toys built into the side bars”, she pointed out trying to engender some excitement.
She pushed him into the playpen. He looked at the toys unenthusiastically. “Try those”, she encouraged him, pointing to a string of different shapes that rotated around a crossways wooden bar. He had to sit down in the pen to reach them. She closed the little gate on his pen with a click.
He spun the little shapes and some made different noises. There was another row of shapes on another side. He could just about squeeze them with his balled up hands to make squeaks and honks. “There you go!” Anna cheered. He glared at her. These were pretty miserable.
She gathered all the other toys and dolls and placed them into the play pen beside him. Clearly he was meant to stay there. He looked up through the lace of his bonnet at his mother hoping for a reprieve. “Thank your Auntie Anna sweetie.” He looked again at the boring baby toys that were meant to amuse him. He looked at his mittens and realized that they were all he could handle as long as his hands were in them.
He held his hands up and said as plaintively as he could “please mum can you take these off? I promise I won’t try to …” it killed him to say it “.. . take this dress off or … the nappy.” He was almost in tears offering to obediently wear a baby dress and nappy. “That’s good that you promise to wear your baby dress and nappy dear but I won’t be taking those mittens off just in case”, his mother insisted. “Now you play with your toys while we bring your other dresses up to the spare room.”
Brian sighed. His mother was watching him. He started turning the shapes on the play pen and made them rattle and squeak. He continued playing unenthusiastically with the noisy baby toys in order to satisfy them as they walked around the house. He looked at the dolls in the pen beside him. Surely they couldn’t expect him to play with those.
He looked down at his lilac dress and tights, framed in the lace of his bonnet and realized that he was dressed more sissily than any of the dolls.
Anna stuck her head in the door. He resumed playing with the blocks to keep her happy. “Would you like something to drink”, she asked cheerfully. He nodded. She went off to the kitchen and returned with a baby bottle of purple juice. She leaned into his play pen and placed it beside him. He sighed and gave her a withering look. “Well you won’t be able to hold a cup little Cissy.”
She left the room and he looked despondently at the baby bottle. Well he was thirsty and nobody was looking. He had to hold it up the between his two mittens. He wondered could he get the teat off and drink it properly but it was firmly screwed on. He held it up and suc-ked on the teat. He shuddered at the taste of the juice. He winced and looked at the purple liquid. What was it? He suc-ked again but that was all he could manage for now.
His mum and Anna started cooking dinner. He sat in the play-pen wondering did he really have to sit in it. He could easily climb over the low sides. But Anna had put all the toys in there with him. He looked around the room and there was nothing else to interest him. He might as well stay there. He put his mitten through the round handle of a rattle and held it up. He shook it and it duly rattled.
When he was thirsty again he picked up the bottle and suc-ked on the teat. His mother appeared at the door. She came in smiling at him suc-king on the bottle. Then she frowned. “What’s that?” she asked. He was embarrassed at being caught voluntarily suc-king on the bottle. She looked more closely and recognized the prune juice. She smirked. “Good baby!” He glared at her. “I mean good Cissy! I’m sorry but it’s the name that jumped into my head at the time” she tittered. “You can’t say that it’s not appropriate though!”