Chapter 39. Baby Nathan.
“Nathan! We’re up here!” It was Autumn calling from the bedroom.
“Coming!”
He bounded up the stairs and into Rosie’s room.
“Hey! What’s that?”
“It’s a big new playpen for Milly.”
“Nice! And you’ve got a high chair. That should be downstairs in the kitchen.”
“Yes. Mummy’s just storing it here for the time being.”
“Oh. I see. Hey, and Tiddy Moll’s in the playpen! I think she wants to come out!”
“Nathan was being Tiddy Moll last time,” Autumn explained to Penelope.
“Oh, was he? And what was Tiddy Doll doing?”
“Being very bad! Trying to bite us!” laughed Rosie.
“Why am I not surprised?” said Penelope.
“Can we plays dolls again, Nathan?” asked Rosie. “Can I be Tiddy Doll this time?”
“Sure, if you want. Is that a new bear in the playpen?”
“Yes. I think it’s going to be Milly’s.”
“I want to be Blue Bear,” said Nathan, “cos I’m a boy.”
“Oh. Do boys always have to have blue things,” asked Penelope, innocently.
“Well, not really. But it’s the opposite of pink.”
“Oh, I see. Well can I be Barbie then, cos she must be the opposite of blue.”
“And I’ll be Baby Doll,” said Autumn, selecting a chubby naked doll from Rosie’s toy box.
The dolls had a wildly exciting time that morning, jumping in and out of the playpen, hiding in the drawers and cupboards, and drinking milk from a tiny feeding bottle. But it was getting near lunchtime, and the children were hungry. Rosie’s mother had left them plenty of food, and they spent an hour sitting around in the kitchen and the dining room eating sandwiches, cold pizzas, fruit and crisps, and drinking juice, and watching stuff on television. Penelope was watching Nathan out of the corner of her eye. She was amazed how happily he fitted in with the girls, how he had enjoyed playing dolls just as much as they, and how now he was lounging around happily chatting with them. She was beginning to like him, but she was not going to forget the task she had been charged with. Just then Rosie suddenly remembered the dolls hadn’t had their lunch. She found a jar of apricot puree baby food, and a plastic spoon, and headed upstairs followed by the others. Soon the dolls were arranged in a circle, being fed the orange mush. Each one was fed by her owner, and while Nathan was savvy enough to pretend to feed Blue Bear, while actually feeding himself, a couple of the other dolls were getting sticky faces. Then Autumn managed to drop a blob of puree onto Baby Doll’s tummy.
“Oh, dear, Baby Doll, you are such a messy eater,” she scolded, wiping it off with a tissue.
“She needs something to wear,” said Penelope. “Doesn’t she have any clothes?”
“Look in the box,” said Rosie. “She used to have lots of things.”
Autumn looked.
“Ooh, is this her nappy? Yes, look, it fits.”
“And there’s her pants,” said Rosie, leaning across her friend.
“That’s better! Nice pink plastic pants! Now she really looks like a baby!”
Penelope saw her chance. “That’s right. She looks very trendy now.”
“Trendy?” queried Nathan.
“Yes, trendy,” said Penelope. “You know, like with that babywear fashion that’s around now.”
“That’s a real thing, is it?” Nathan was interested now.
“Yes, course. Didn’t you know about it? One of my friends has just got an outfit. I’d like one, but my mum says it’s too expensive at the moment. She thinks it’ll get cheaper when it catches on more.”
Nathan decided to sound her out.
“Yeah, well obviously I’ve heard about it. One of the kids at school says it’s just for girls, but I don’t think that true.”
“Of course it isn’t! Girls have pink stuff and boys have blue. Obviously!”
“But Nathan,” interposed Autumn, “don’t you have an outfit? I mean, what you were wearing the other day?”
“That’s right. I do, as a matter of fact.”
“Why were you asking me about it, then?” asked Penelope, frowning.
“Oh, I just wanted to see how much you knew. I wasn't sure how much you younger kids keep up with fashion trends.”
“Just as much as you, Nathan. Do you really have a babywear outfit? I’d be surprised if you do. Not many boys know about that stuff. They spend too much time thinking about football and computer games.”
“Not me, Pen,” Nathan replied, familiarly. “I’m really into fashion and all that stuff. As a matter of fact I think my aunt packed my outfit for me today.”
“Oh, yes Nathan,” piped up Rosie. “I forgot to tell you. She left that bag for you. There – the big bag in the corner.”
“Thank you, Rosie.” Nathan stood up importantly and went over to the hold-all. He picked it up and peered inside. “Yes, it’s here.”
“Show me,” demanded Penelope, trying to keep a straight face.
Obligingly Nathan opened the bag and began to take out the clothes one by one, passing them to Penelope for inspection.
“Let’s see, vest, jacket…”
“Wow, that’s a cute jacket,” exclaimed Penelope, not altogether dishonestly.
“…socks and shoes – they’re called ‘Mary Janes…”
“Yes, I know.”
“… and pants…”
“Nathan, these are really smart! And such good quality. I love the bands round the legs! They’re even better than what my friend’s got. So you really do have a babywear outfit! Why did you tease me, then, pretending you didn’t?”
“Sorry. I just wanted to surprise you.”
“Where did you get it?”
“My aunt bought it for me. She’s really into high fashion and stuff. Oh, she’s even put a pull-up in. You need to wear one under the pants, see, so they puff out like they’re s’posed to.”
“I know. You don’t have to tell me. I know all about it.” She looked at him admiringly. “Would you put it on for me? I can’t wait to see you in it.”
“Sure. I’ll go change in the toilet. Back in a minute.” And he collected up his outfit and swaggered out of the room.
Poor Penelope had to bite her lip to stop herself screaming with laughter. The two younger girls still didn’t quite get it though, even after Catherine’s chat. Probably just as well, she thought.
“I didn’t know about all that,” said Autumn. “But it’s true, he does look very smart. Normally I only see him in his school clothes or old jeans.”
“Yes,” said Rosie. “And then we can play mummies and babies again, can’t we, Penelope?”
“I think that’s a great idea, Rosie. Who’s going to be mummy? Shall we all be mummies?”
“No,” said Autumn. “There can only be one mummy. It should be you, Pen, cos you’re the oldest. We can be aunts, can’t we Rosie?”
“Yes. We’ll be aunts.”
After a few minutes they heard the toilet door open. Penelope dug her nails into her palms to help her maintain a straight face, but when Nathan appeared at the door in his blue splendour, she nearly lost it, and was seized with a fit of coughing.
“Are you all right, Penelope?” he asked in a concerned voice.
“Yes…ahem…yes. Would you mind getting me a glass of water, Nathan?”
“Of course.” And he went downstairs to fetch one, giving her a few moments to recover herself. Next door, Emilia was following events closely on the monitor. “Catherine’s going to be ecstatic!” she murmured to herself.
He returned. Penelope had composed herself now. She took a few sips of water.
“You look amazing!” she exclaimed – which was the absolute truth. “ Do you mind if I take a picture?”
“Help yourself.”
“I’d like to show my friend. She’s gonna be so jealous.”
Nathan preened himself, posing proudly for not just one, but half a dozen snaps.
“Point at you pants! Super! Now turn around and look over your shoulder. Perfect!”
When Penelope was satisfied, she said, “Thank you, Nathan. Great. The girls were asking if we could play mummies and babies, like they did the other day. Could we?”
“Sure. Who’s going to be the mummy?”
“Well, Nathan, I think it’s me, if that’s all right with you.”
“You’re almost too pretty to be a mummy,” he hazarded, clumsily, colouring up. But Penelope expertly defused the awkwardness.
“Well, you’re too handsome to be a baby, Nathan,” she smiled, blinking prettily and playing coquettishly with one pigtail. Gosh, he thought, I never realised how cute this girl is. I’ve always thought she was pretty, but I imagined she was just like Autumn. She’s nothing like Autumn. She’s so grown up!
Penelope knew she had him on a leash now, and she would have no compunction in exploiting it.
“So Baby Nathan, mummy thinks you should go take off your jacket and bow tie and go in your playpen now, and your aunties will give you some nice toys to play with, and some milk.”
“Yes, mummy.” And Nathan obediently slipped out of his jacket, took off his tie, and crawled through the little barred wooden door that Penelope was holding open for him.
“Good Baby!” she smiled, fastening it shut. “Is Baby comfy?”
“Yes mummy.”
“Auntie Rosie, would you like to take my phone and video Baby Nathan so we can see how much he likes his new playpen?”
“Yes, Nathan mummy,” she replied, taking Penelope’s phone. “Oh, it’s already running. I’ll sit on the bed so I can get a good view.”
“Would Baby like his Blue Bear to cuddle?”
“Yes please, mummy.”
“Auntie Rosie, could you pass Baby Nathan Blue Bear, please? He’s just next to you on the bed. Thank you.”
“And would Baby like his nice milky bottle?”
“Yes please, mummy.”
“Auntie Autumn, could you go and fill Baby Nathan’s bottle for him, please?”
“Yes, Nathan mummy. I will.” And she took the bottle downstairs to fill it with milk from the fridge.
“And what’s that I see in the corner of Baby’s playpen, on top of the pull-ups?”
“It’s a rattle, mummy.”
“And would Baby Nathan like to have his rattle to hold?”
“Yes, mummy,” Nathan replied, picking up the rattle and shaking it happily.
“Is Baby happy, with his bear and his rattle all nicely dressed in his shiny blue panties and his little vest?”
“Yes, mummy.”
“Oh, look! Here’s Auntie Autumn with Baby’s milk! What a big bottle. Do you think you’ll be able to drink it all up, like a good boy?”
“Yes, mummy,” said Nathan uncertainly, “I think so…”
Autumn handed the bottle into the playpen. She had filled it to the very top. The teat was already dripping milk.
“Hmm,” said Penelope, “we don’t want to get milk on Baby’s pretty vest, do we? Maybe mummy should change him into one of these nice shirts with bears on the front that Auntie Catherine sent.”
“All right, mummy.”
“Auntie Autumn, could you give mummy one of those shirts, please? Baby, stand up and I’ll pull off that grown-up shiny one, and put on a proper baby vest. There. That’s much better. Now you can drink your milk.”
Nathan propped himself up against the big pack of pull-ups, and started guzzling the milk. He looked like a real baby, trying to hold onto his bear and his rattle as it dripped onto his vest and trickled off his pants. Eventually Penelope said, “Nathan darling, I think maybe we should feed you, then you can hold Blue Bear in one hand and your rattle in the other.”
Autumn and Rosie, who had been watching proceedings with undisguised delight, both sprang up at once. Rosie shouted, “me first!” and Autumn countered with, “okay, me second!” So Rosie passed the phone to Autumn, and had first go, leaning over the side of the playpen and holding the teat of the bottle firmly in Nathan’s mouth while he fed greedily. None of them could believe how easily and completely Nathan had fallen into his role. In the next house, Emilia was hugging herself with disbelief, and periodically sending little texts to Catherine, such as “you won’t believe this!!!” or “Pen’s a genius!”. But the truth was, that Nathan was in a state of bliss, submerged in the fantasy of being a real baby, and dreaming of walking down the street hand-in-hand with Penelope, wearing his amazing babywear outfit!
Autumn had taken over feeding duty, and Rosie had resumed filming, and he had consumed nearly half the bottle, when Penelope noticed his eyelids beginning to droop, and his grip on the rattle loosening.
“I think Baby’s going to sleep,” she whispered. “Auntie Autumn – why don’t you stop feeding and give him a pacifier – look, there’s one right there next to him,”
“Yes, Baby mummy. There we go. Look, it popped right in straight away.”
Nathan was indeed asleep, and his mummy gently laid him down on the soft changing mats and pulled his baby blanket over him.