Jake arrived at the Maid Café around 1pm. He was not surprised, but still dismayed, to find a café draped in pink frilly stuff, decorated with pink ponies, baby blue bunnies, cute kitties etc.
Mrs Palmer, the owner, met them. âGreat. You are just in time to see the other girls practice their dance.â Dance? Jake frowned. âYou can join in the practice once youâve watched them go through it.â Jake felt sick again and fiddled with the lace trim on his apron nervously.
The most annoying tinny music started up accompanied by voices that sounded like they had just inhaled helium. Five maids stood in formation on a little stage. They had insane smiles on their faces.
They started to dance to the music. The dance involved lots of swaying of hips and twirling â revealing their fancy bloomers and knickers. Though Jake observed glumly that none seemed to be as lacey and frilly as his own. He was embarrassed for the girls having to do such a childish and sissy dance but, if their smiles were anything to go by, they seemed to be loving it. He squirmed in his tights. He was clearly going to have to join in.
It seemed to go on forever. When it finally ended Mrs Palmer told them that the maids were required to perform the dance every 30 minutes. âNow you join them at the back there so you can see the routine and practice with them.â Jake reluctantly took his place in the formation. Mrs Palmer seemed to notice his nervousness. âDonât worry. You have all afternoon to practice with them! We open tomorrow.â
âNow smile!â she ordered. Jake did his best to smile in this mortifying situation. âCome on! You can do better than that!â He made an insane grin like the real girls. The music started. He wanted to die. He did his best to imitate the girlsâ movements while trying to keep up the mad smile like they did.
At the end of the first run through Mrs Palmer said âNot bad. You need to really twirl there every time you turn. Letâs see those lovely frills on your bloomers!â Jake winced and clutched his petticoats. The music started again and he had to jump into action.
He tried to twirl better even though it killed him. He could see the ladies watching beneath his petticoats with interest. âOoh! Frills right up onto the bum!â Jake cringed yet again.
After an hour of dancing, he got a break â to practice his cutesy walk and curtsey. He had to practice the scripted patter that a maid had to go through with a new customer. His girly voice normally sounded so fake but next to these girls it was perfect. Mrs Palmer insisted that he had to tilt his head cutely when speaking and ensure that his pony tails swung around a lot.
By 5pm he was well on the way to becoming a cutesy sissy maid with a permanent smile, sissy walk and cutesy dance. Mrs Palmer and his mother were pleased. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.
The next day was opening day and he was dismayed to see a queue of girls already waiting to get in. They oohed and aahed at his maidâs dress and petticoats as he passed in. âLook at those cute bloomers!â And that was only on seeing the lace peeping from under his petticoats. He cringed and could practically feel the rows of lace up the legs and across his bum he was so conscious of them.
He was mortified as they went through the dance routine in front of the expectant crowd but managed to keep his ridiculous smile throughout. There was an audible âoohâ when they first twirled. He really wanted to push his petticoats down but knew that would not please Mrs Palmer. He had to show off his frilly bloomers to best effect.
Then he had to go and serve tables, curtseying to start with and then twittering through the patter. Nobody seemed to suspect he was a boy. Why would they under that maidâs dress, lace-trimmed apron, petticoats, frilly bloomers, white tights, black stockings with lace trim and high-heeled shoes â not to mention his beribboned pony tails, lacey headpiece and fluttering false eyelashes.
He was placing the first order when he saw Diane come in with three friends. He nearly peed himself. Mrs Palmer recognized her and came over to Jake. âOh look! Thereâs your sister. You must serve that table!â Jake winced inside but there was no refusing her.
He had to mince over to his sisterâs table. They all burst into giggles. âOh my goodness, heâs so sissyâ, he heard one of her friends gasp. He froze in terror at being discovered but none of the other tables seemed to hear. Diane and her friends seemed to know not to give him away but could hardly keep their knowledge in.
There was another burst of laughter when he curtsied, holding out his petticoats daintily and when he started in his girly voice they could hardly contain themselves. They got looks from the other tables. Everyone found the maid café amusing but these girls seemed to be overboard about it. Still, nobody seemed to guess the reason why.
When he had taken their order the call went out to start the maidsâ dance. Jake cringed and put his order pad in the lace-trimmed pocket of his apron. âOh I canât wait to see this!â Diane gushed.
How he kept his smile up through the routine, he didnât know. His sisterâs friends just collapsed laughing when he twirled and revealed the full extent of the frills on his bloomers. When he returned to the table with their order he couldnât miss their knowing smiles as they glanced towards his peeking bloomers.