The Settlement

[Sandra B]

Chapter 95.  Impersonation.

Kimona’s friends were staying over, and it was nearing their bedtime, so Rebecca spent half an hour with them looking at baby clothes online, exchanging ideas on the important topic of what Philip would look nicest in.  Jess’s contribution mainly consisted of searching for the cutest and frilliest pants and bloomers.  Philip himself was largely excluded from the research – for which he was not wholly sorry.  His request to change back into his normal clothes was denied.  When it was time to leave, however, Jess kindly offered to drive them home, and drop off Freida on the way.  Philip wasn’t allowed to part from his young friends without giving each a cuddle and a kiss.  It was a relief to get out into the night air, and an even greater one to get back to Rebecca’s and take off his leotard.  However, Rebecca had made sure to get Dana to send her the photo she had taken, and after they were in bed, and Philip had fallen asleep, which he did almost at once, she quietly rose, picked up both their phones, and crept downstairs.  There she first sent the photo to Philip’s phone, and then sent it on to Matthew, with the message, “Me in my fairy costume.  Do you like it?  Can’t wait to see you. xx”
“I bet ‘e will like it,” she murmured.  “If ‘e’s the boy I fink ‘e is.”
Her conjecture was correct.  Though it was late, a reply came through almost at once.
“You look gorgeous.  Can I see you this weekend?  Maybe we could go out for a meal?  xx”
“There y’are.  Knew it.  ‘E wants anuvver date.”  She texted back, “That would be lovely.  Must sleep.  Talk tomorrow.  x”

Though Philip was not pleased when he looked at his phone the following morning, Rebecca also detected that he wasn’t furious either.
“Why did you do that?  I’m going to ring him and explain.”
“You’ll break ‘is ‘eart if you does.  It don’t matter.  If you’re gonna go out wiv ‘im again, what difference does it make?”
“I’m only going out with him again so his friends don’t get suspicious.  Just once or twice, then that’s it.”
“So you don’t like ‘im?”
“I didn’t say that.  He’s a good bloke, that’s all.  I don’t want to hurt him.”
“So you won’t tell ‘im I sent that text?”
“Maybe not.  But please don’t mess with my phone again.”
“Sorry, Phil.  Couldn’t resist it.  It is a very cute picture, ain’t it?”
“I look stupid.  Please don’t send it to anyone else, all right?”
“Promise.  But I can’t speak for the others.”
“That Jess….”
“She likes you, all right.  Fancies you somefing awful.”
“Don’t go there.  Putting me on her lap like that…like I was a little kid…”
“Or a baby…”
“Shut up, Becca.  Don’t remind me.  Why can’t I say no to those girls?”
“Cos you’re a nice guy – and there’s no cure.  So come ‘ere and gimme a kiss…”

Philip did ring Matthew, but he didn’t blame Rebecca.
“Matty…hi.  Look, I shouldn’t have sent you that picture…  I’d had a few drinks…  I only wore that thing cos my friend’s kid daughter likes me to pretend to be a fairy.  I have to tell her and her mates fairy stories too.  Can’t get out of it..”
“I’m glad you did.  You look so cute.  I’ve already printed it off and put it on my wall.  Would you wear it for me?”
“No!  No way!  Don’t even ask.  And make sure no-one else sees that picture.  All right?”
“Okay…  Don’t get upset…  No-one else goes into my room, apart from my mum.”
Philip closed his eyes and rested his head on his hand in despair.
“So,” continued Matthew, “what about Saturday?  We could go to that new Italian pizza place.”
Philip was slightly apprehensive about playing the girl in a restaurant, but on the other hand it would be a challenge, and for some reason he felt he wanted to impress Matthew.
“Okay…  But not too early.  When it’s getting dusk.  And we get a side table.  I’m not absolutely confident I can fool everyone…”
“Sure, Phil.  But you’ll be fine.  I can guarantee that.  It’s candlelit.  In any case, you look really great, you know…”
“All right.  I’ll meet your at your house…when?”
“Come over about five?  I finish work at four, and I’ll be home by a quarter to.”
“Okay.  See you then.”
“Bye Phil….  Love yer…” he added, awkwardly.
 

[Sandra B]

Chapter 96.  Sartorial Confusion.

Philip put down the phone.  He was annoyed.  Annoyed with Matthew.  So he told himself.
“All I agreed to was to impersonate a girlfriend.  Once.  Just once.  Now there’s got to be a follow up.  But why the restaurant?  What’s the point?  I should have challenged him.  I really should have.  Why did I…  All right, so he’s cute for a bloke, but I was stupid…  What have I let myself in for?  Why are we going there, just the two of us?  Does he actually fancy me or something?  If he was going to show me off again…to Dave and all his idiot friends…that would be different.  It’s so awkward…  If I don’t go along with it...then maybe he won’t come to baby training.  I really need him to come with me…moral support...  So I guess I’d better play along.  For the time being.  But I’m not dressing up for him…  No way.  I’ll find the grottiest old clothes I can…”

But on Saturday, for whatever reason, despite his resolution, he actually spent some time choosing his outfit.  Don’t want to be rude, he thought.  At least look presentable.  Maybe that little dress Becca got me…
The dress in question was short, figure-hugging, with long sleeves and a high round collar, in a sparkly grey and silver fabric, lined and slightly stretchy.  The style suited Philip, just as Rebecca had guessed.  “Simple but startling”, she’d said.  It was the first time he had worn it.  All it needed was silver hoop earrings, sheer tights, and silver shoes with a low heel – he felt he was already tall enough.  He admired it – and himself, a little – in the mirror.  It was much more fun being a girl, getting to dress up in all these lovely sensuous clothes.  He sat at the dressing-table, brushed his hair, and put on the minimum of makeup: foundation, pale pink lip gloss, a little sparkle on his cheekbones, to match his dress.  When he was satisfied, he went downstairs to show himself to Rebecca.
“Phew!  Thought you weren’t gonna dress up, Phil?  ‘Ere, mum.  Come an’ ‘ave an eyeful of this!”
Rebecca’s mother raised an eyebrow.  “You’re going to see one of your mates?  I’d hate to see what you look like when you dress up for someone.”
“Well, it’s nothing, really, Susan…”
“Nuffin’?  What yer mean, nuffin’?  That’s a bleedin’ beautiful dress what I got yer.  And that’s all the fanks I get?”
“I didn’t mean it like that, Becca.  The dress is beautiful.  I just meant…I’m not trying to impress anyone…Matty doesn’t care about stuff like that…”
Rebecca gave a short dry laugh.  “Yer jokin’ of course.  You know ‘ow much he likes yer.  You know ‘is eyes are gonna fall out when ‘e sees yer.  Be’ave yerself tonight…if yer can.”
“You’re very trusting, Becca,” said her mother.  “I don’t think I would let my boyfriend go out looking like that…”
“Trustin’?  I ain’t trustin’, mum.  I don’t trust ‘im an inch!  But I love ‘im, an’ I loves to see ‘im all dolled up like that.  Gives me a shiver.  An’ it’ll give Maffew one too – or a ‘eart attack!”

Rebecca persuaded her mother to give Philip a ride to Matthew’s house.  On the way, Rebecca whispered in Phlip’s ear.
“I don’t expect to see yer back tonight.  If yer wanna stay over, it’s fine.  No, please, Phil, don’t protest.  I’m just sayin’.  I don’t own yer, I just loves yer.  Okay?”
Philip didn’t reply, but his brow knitted with perplexity.  And it wasn’t entirely about Rebecca.
They arrived just as Matthew was returning from work.  Rebecca gave Philip a kiss goodbye, and as the car drew away, she called out of the window to Matthew.
“Look after ‘im, Maffew.  Don’t do anyfink I wouldn’t!”
Matthew returned a hesitant wave and an uneasy smile, but his eyes quickly turned to Philip.
“Wow, you look amazing.”  He went to kiss him, but Philip turned aside.  Then, not wanting to hurt his friend, he muttered,
“Not here, Matty.  Come on, let’s go in.”
Once inside, he allowed Matthew to give him a peck on the cheek, at which precise moment Jill appeared in the hallway. 
“Sorry, boys.”  Despite all that had already occurred, she was a little startled, not least by Philip’s totally feminine appearance.  “Philip, you look wonderful!  That’s a beautiful dress.  May I…?”
“I’m going to change mum,” said Matthew, bounding up the stairs.
She approached and felt the fabric with an experienced hand.  “It’s lovely.  Cuter than anything in my wardrobe, anyway – though that’s not saying much.  So you and Philip have a d…  I mean, I hear you’re going for a meal?  Alberto’s, isn’t it?  Their pizzas are really good.  Authentic Italian.  Lovely light crust….”
“Yes.  All the reports I’ve heard are just making me more hungry.”
“You’re coming back after, right.  Come in and have a drink.  And you know you can always stay if you want…”
“Thanks, Jill.”  He paused.  There was something he wanted to discuss.  “Jill?”
“Yes, dear?”
“Er, about next month…  Has Matthew said anything about…going away with me for a few weeks?”
“Oh, yes, he did mention something.  He’s done his exams, anyway.  He deserves a break.  So if you two want to go away together…  Well, it’s fine with me.  I’ll give him some money, of course.  Do you know where you might be…?”
“Er, no, not exactly.  Okay, great.  I just wondered if he’d mentioned it, that’s all.”  He felt a surge of relief and gratitude.

When Matthew reappeared, he looked a lot fresher than before.  He had showered and changed, his hair was brushed, and he was wearing some very new-looking jeans and a white shirt.  His face was flushed and excited.
“Shall we go?  Mum, see you later.  Come on, Phil.”
“Bye, boys.  Have a great time!”
The front door slammed behind them.  Jill stood still for some moments, with an enigmatic smile on her face.  “Well, well,” she said out loud, “he’s one of the prettiest things I’ve ever seen.  For someone who thinks he’s gay, Matty certainly seems to like the girls a lot!”

[Sandra B]

Chapter 97.  An Arrival – and a Departure.

It was a short bus ride to the restaurant.  Like a proper gentleman, Matthew allowed Philip to sit on the inside of the seat, while he perched on the outside, next to the aisle, and put his arm around his friend in a proprietorial gesture.
“Matty!” hissed Philip, “if you don’t mind…”
“Just trying to look authentic,” Matthew whispered back.
“Well, don’t…”  Matthew gave him a doleful look.  “Oh, well, all right, then.  I suppose…”
Matthew immediately cheered up.  There was a pause.  Philip was still uneasy about Matthew’s commitment to baby training.
“Matty?”
“Yeah?”
“You are coming with me…next month..?”
“Course I am.  If we’re still together then.”
“What do you mean, if we’re still together.  Is this “together”?”
“Well I think so…don’t you?”  He made as if to withdraw his arm.  Philip got the message.
“I guess…  yeah, I guess we’re together.  Okay, we are together, if that’s what you want.”  He looked searchingly at Matthew, trying to divine what degree of “together” he was thinking of.  He soon found out.  Matthew smiled adoringly, and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.
“Right…”

They alighted from the bus and walked to Alberto’s, holding hands.  Matthew opened the door  for Philip.  They were met by a pretty, dark-haired waitress.
“Table for two?  This way, please,” she said with a smile, and added, “that’s a beautiful dress, if you don’t mind me saying so…”
Philip couldn’t help feeling gratified.  He remembered his reflection in the mirror, and realised he really must look quite special.  His last shreds of self-consciousness were disappearing.  It was exciting being a girl - not just a bloke playing at it, but actually feeling like he was female.  His reservations about Matthew were falling away.  He gripped his hand more tightly, and adopted a appropriately coy persona.  They sat opposite each other, and the waitress brought them menus.  Matthew smiled at Philip with undisguised affection, and Philip returned his smile, then shyly dropped his eyes.
“I got you something…”  Matthew was pushing a little packet wrapped in gold paper towards him across the table.
“Oh…thanks.”  He opened it.  Perfume.
“Hope you like it…”
Philip hesitated.  But sometime in the last few minutes he had made an unconscious decision.  He unscrewed the cap and applied a little to his wrist.
“It’s gorgeous!  You’ve got good taste…”  He was going to add, “Matty”.  But he didn’t.  He only half understood why.  His friend’s name, spoken as he had always spoken it, familiarly, seemed suddenly redundant.  That phase had passed.  Now they inhabited a new phase, in which he and Matthew were no longer just friends, but something more.  The relationship was no longer easy and relaxed, but instead delicate, exploratory, a little frightening.  It was not clear to him how this change had come about, whether willed or unintentional.  It felt dangerous, but thrilling.  He dabbed perfume on both sides of his neck, then reached across the table and took Matthew’s hand.  Matthew was about to say something when the waitress returned.
“Ready to order?”
They were equally flustered, and ordered pizzas without much deliberation, and some fizzy water.  While they waited for them to arrive, they spent most of the time in silence, looking curiously at each other, or glancing round the room.  No-one was paying them any attention.  They were just another couple who’d decided to go out to eat that evening – though their waitress was pointing them out to her friend.
“Table six.  She’s pretty, isn’t she?  And that dress!”
“It’s very sparkly…”
“It is.  Suits her, don’t it?”
The arrival of the pizzas provided some relief.  They both started to relax, laughing at each other’s attempts to transfer the floppy slices, heavy with melted cheese, into their mouths.  Philip was hungry.  He was struggling to eat in a ladylike manner, when all he wanted was to cram a whole slice into his mouth in one go.  He got a fit of the giggles, and nearly choked on his food.  They were enjoying themselves.  But their date was about to be rudely interrupted.
Matthew, in his joy, was being stupid, pretending to be some sort of pizza-eating wild animal, and grinning like an idiot.  Philip was attempting to retain some decorum, which required him to look away from Matthew’s ridiculous antics and focus on the restaurant.  As he was thus diverting his attention, the door opened, and there appeared a face he knew – and not a welcome one.  He did a double-take, but there was no mistake.  Dave!  Dave, staring about him in that insolent way he had, and followed by a chavvy-looking woman! 
“Matty!  Look!  Look who’s just rolled in!”
“What?  Who?”  Matthew followed his gaze.
“Oh, shit!  No!  Keep your head down.  Maybe he won’t…  F***!  He’s seen us.”
Dave eyes had latched onto them almost at once.  Now he was swaggering over, working himself into a state of chumminess for the benefit of his girlfriend and the restaurant in general.
“’Allo, guys.  What you doin’ ‘ere?”
“Waiting for the ten-thirty to Leeds, actually,” said Philip, deadpan.  But irony was wasted on such as he.
“Mind if we join yer?” he continued, sitting down next to Philip, and leaving his partner standing by the table.  “Oh, yeah, this is my GF, Sharon.  Sit down, babe.  This is my good mate, Maffew, an’…sorry, darlin’, I don’t remember…”
“Philippa,” said Matthew shortly, looking alarmed.
“Yeah, Philippa.  ‘Ow you doin’, darlin’?”
Philip merely nodded.  Sharon sat down next to Matthew.  For a moment nothing was said.
“’Avin’ a pizza, then?”  Dave observed.  Philip sighed.  He was feeling so irritated by Dave’s presence that he had almost forgotten the necessity of keeping up the charade.  But Matthew’s warning stare reminded him.  He used his feminine voice.
“How are you, Dave?”  Dave’s large and bony body was pressing against him, and he shifted towards the wall in an attempt to escape it, and then turned his attention to Dave’s “GF”.
“Nice to meet you, Sharon.  Are you at school with Dave?”
Sharon smiled knowingly.  Philip didn’t quite like the look of that smile.
“Nah.  I was, like.  I left last year.  Fank god ‘e’s out too now, innit?”
The waitress brought new menus.  Dave kept her waiting while he ordered for both of them.  He ordered a lot, garlic bread and everything, and would have ordered dessert too if the waitress hadn’t stopped him.  And he ordered lager.  Then, yawning noisily, he announced he was going to the lavatory.
“Ain’t ‘ad a shit all day.  Back in a bit.”  He jumped up and pushed his way between the tables.  Philip sighed internally, and determined to finish his pizza without delay.  But Sharon had something to say.
“Maffew.  I remember you from before.  An’ Dave tells me Philippa ‘ere is your new girlfriend.”
“Er, yeah.  We only met recently…”
“I know.  I know all about you, Philippa…or is it just Philip?  S’all right, don’t look so shocked.  One of your mates is one of my mates too.  Nikki?  Yeah.”
A chill ran through Philip’s body.  Matthew covered his eyes. 
“Really…” said Philip, not knowing what was coming next.
“Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna tell ‘im.  I fink it’s ‘ilarious.  Even I would’ve bin taken in if I ‘adn’t known, innit?”
“You…you won’t tell him..? asked Matthew.
“Nah, course not.  Good luck to yer, I sez.  ‘E’s such a blabbermouf.  I don’t tell ‘im nuffink I don’t ‘as to.”
“Thanks, Sharon.  We really appreciate that…” said Philip.
“No probs.  In any case, I know all abaht next munf.  Maybe I’ll come along wiv the uvvers, like.”
“He’s coming back,” murmured Matthew.  “If you don’t mind, Sharon, we’re going to eat up and get out of here.  If it were just you…”
“Course.”
Dave was navigating his way back to the table.  He sat down clumsily, nearly upsetting the beers.
“Nice toilets,” he said in a loud voice, “better than ‘ome!”
“Philippa and Matthew gotta leave soon, Dave.  They’re meetin’ up wiv some friends.”
“Nah, really?  Sod ‘em, stay ‘ere and tell ‘em you’ve bin delayed.”
“Sorry,” shrugged Matthew, “would love to, but not possible.  Long-standing date.”
“We’ll come wiv yer…”
“Sorry Dave, gotta go.  Great to see you guys – nice to meet you Sharon.”
So, having bolted down the remains of their pizzas, Matthew and Philip rose.  Matthew headed towards the counter to pay, but before Philip could follow, Dave had grabbed him, hugged him, and given him a big wet kiss on the lips.  Sharon bowed her head and suppressed a snort of laughter.
“See yer soon, darlin', yeah?”
“Yes, Dave, of course.”  Philip tore himself free, and fled.

[Sandra B]

Chapter 98.  Wider Still, and Wider...

As they couldn’t think of anything else interesting to do, they decided to go home.
“There’s always plenty of drink in my house,” said Matthew.  “We can just chill out.”
“Fine by me.  Your mum offered us drinks, anyway.”
“Fancy that idiot turning up…of all people.”
“Sod’s law, Matty.  But Sharon’s okay, isn’t she?  I’m not surprised she knows Nikki.  They’re not that dissimilar…”

When they got home, Jill was already relaxing with a gin and tonic.
“Hello, mum.  Bit early for that, isn’t it?”
“Never too early, dear…never too late, either.  You’re home soon.”
“Yeah, we ran into Dave…or he ran into us.  And as we didn’t fancy spending the evening with him, we decided to seek sanctuary here…”
“Oh, I see.  Did he…?”
“Did he suss Philip?  Not at all.”
“That’s right,” added Philip.  “In fact, he sexually assaulted me before I could escape.”
Jill looked alarmed.
“No, nothing like that.  He grabbed me and gave me his version of a kiss.  All slobbery.  Disgusting.”
Jill laughed.  “Lucky you.  You’ll have to be a bit careful there.”
“You’re not joking.”
“Well, join me.  You’ll have a drink, Philip?”
“Yes please Jill.  Anything to take the taste away.”

They settled down in the armchairs.  Jill stuck to her gin, Matthew and Philip drank beer and ate crisps.  Eventually the conversation got around to the summer.
“So where is it you two are planning to go?”
The boys looked at each other.
“Nowhere, really, mum…”
“Nowhere?  That’ll be exciting.”
“No, you know what I mean.  Somewhere…  We haven’t decided.  Maybe over Resborough way…”
“Resborough?  What’s there?”
“Oh, I dunno….”
Philip, feeling uncomfortable about hiding their plans from Matthew’s mother, and emboldened by the alcohol, decided to level with her.
“Jill, I guess you’re going to have to be told sometime…so…please don’t laugh at this…”
“Laugh?  Why would I…?”
“I have to attend baby training camp…”
“What?  Baby what?”
“Training.  Look, I sort of got conned into it.  Now I can’t get out of it.  Matthew….”
“Tell me again.  Baby training…?  What, so you…learn how to be a baby again…?
“Yeah, sort of…I guess…  Matthew’s offered to come with me…”
Jill was looking from one to the other, open-mouthed, but her eyes dancing with growing comprehension.
“The two of you.  You’re going to be turned into babies!  You really are!  It’s one of those places, isn’t it?  For naughty boys who need to learn a lesson.  And you two….”  She burst out laughing.  “No!  It’s just too…too amazing!”  She stared from one to the other.  Neither was looking very happy, but she made up for them both.  She was in ecstasies of delight.  “How did you get yourselves into such a predicament.  How?”
“Well…it was like this…,” Philip began.  “My aunt – she’s awful, but, well, I have to do what she tells me…it’s complicated…and then Rebecca and the girls…and then there was Kimona…well, the point is, I have to go.  It could have been worse.  Initially, my aunt was going to enrol me into a girl training course, too…but I guess that would have been a bit superfluous as things turned out.  Anyway, it may not be too bad…I’ve met the…I dunno, whatever she is…the head mother or something…name of Mary…she seems okay.  And Matty’s agreed to come with me.  If it wasn’t for him, I’d probably just run away.”
“So when does it start?”
“First Monday in July.”
“So babies…what age?  I mean, little babies, toddlers, what?”
“Dunno.  I’m hoping, like three, maybe four-year-olds?”  He looked questioningly at Matthew.
“Don’t ask me, Phil.  I know less than you do.”
“So…are you expected to supply the clothes, or will the camp?”
“I don’t know.  I think we’re expected to arrive ready dressed.  In fact, two women I know…actually it’s Kimona’s mum, Dana, and Dorelia’s mum, Jess…are finding some outfits, I think…”
“And Kimona and Dorelia are friends of yours?”
“Er, sort of.  They’re kids I sometimes…er…look after.  You know, read them stories and stuff…”
“Babysit?”
“Sort of…”  (Heaven forbid, he thought.  He was always slightly nervous he would be asked to do that.  Last time he was at Dana’s he thought he’d heard the women discussing the idea, so they could go out and have fun occasionally.  But so far nothing had come of it.)
“So do you know what sort of costumes they have in mind?”
“No.  No idea.”
“Well, if Matthew’s involved, I think I should have a say.  Do you have a phone number?”
“Er…not with me…I could get it, I suppose.”
“Yes, please do, Philip.  As soon as possible.  We only have a couple of weeks.”
“Okay...yeah, now I recall they were asking about his size.  They’ve already measured me.  Maybe I should call Becca.”
“Good idea.  Call her now.”

Philip rang.  Rebecca had Shaniya’s number, and he rang her.
“Shaniya?  It’s Philip.  All right, Philippa.  Look, my friend Matthew…he’s coming with me next month…yes, you know it is…listen…his mum wants a word with your mum.  Could you…?  Yeah, text it.  Thanks.”
He handed his phone to Jill.  “There it is.  Dana.”
“Thanks.”  She dialled the number.  “Hello?  Is that Dana?  Hi.  My name’s Jill.  I’m the mother of Matthew, the boy who’s going with Philip to camp next month?  Yes.  Yes, I know.  I could hardly believe it myself.  I know!  Yes!  Anyway, the reason I’m ringing…  I understand you’re maybe sorting out some costumes?  You have?  What sort of…?  Oh…yes…yes…oh my god, really?  That sounds…  Yes, I’d love to.  Tomorrow would be perfect.  Could you text me the address?  About seven?  I’ll be there.  Look forward to it.  Yes!  Thanks again.  Thanks…  Bye!”
She looked triumphantly at the boys.  “I’ve been invited round.  Sounds like they got some great ideas!”  She took another sip of her gin and tonic.  “What fun!”
Philip and Matthew looked at each other despondently, then simultaneous raised their beer bottles to their lips.

[babycakes]

Thanks Sandra B.  Excellent writing.  It takes a lot of hard work to produce a paragraph and you've provided six chapters since any reviewer comments.  This is unfair given your efforts.

Honestly, this reviewer has held off due to a disappointment with the way Philip's character is trending.  Acknowledging "your story your creative license", expected Philip to be more self-determining with a heavy sissy side. Clearly Philippa's in touch with his feminine side but that doesn't need to equate to weak willed.  Sad that Philip caved to Kimona and friends.  Rebecca claims to love him but she seems to be more in lust with him, especially since Rebecca seems to have backed off helping Philip legally fend off his Aunt prior to baby camp, which would have allowed Philip to make a decision more in his self-interest.  Clearly some catalyst was required to get Philip to "decide" to attend baby camp but it is disappointing.  Always looking for the mentally strong protagonist and always disappointed but that's the nature of the genre.

Again, thanks for writing.

[Paddybaby]

This is a brilliant story with a lot of twists. Thanks for sharing.

[Sandra B]

It has to be the nature of the genre to some extent.  I agree with you, weak or easily-manipulated heros are annoying; it's frustrating when they behave stupidly for want of a bit of ordinary courage, and it can easily undermine the credibility of a story or film.  I don't think Philip is a coward, but he has a streak of submissiveness, bound up with his sexual ambiguity, which he is continually tempted not to resist.