Chapter 113. Marshfield.
When later that evening Philip explained his idea to his friend, Matthew became quite excited.
âThatâs brilliant, Phil! We wonât have to be embarrassed. Itâll all be a bit of fun! I do hope that charity place letâs us do it, though.â
âThey should. I donât see how they could turn down an opportunity to get some cash, and some publicity.â
âSo how will it work?â
âThat I donât know. Shaniya was talking about getting the girls to make a placard, and having one of them carry a collecting-box. Anyway, I donât think itâll be very busy out. Itâs supposed to rain tomorrow.â
Jess did more than telephone her friend. She drove into town and called at the shop.
âJanice! How are you, dear?â
âHello, Jess. You look happy. To what do I owe the pleasureâŚ?â
Jess explained the situation as well as she could. Janice was a little puzzled by the idea of two big teenagers willingly dressing up as babies.
âIâm surprised they volunteeredâŚbut itâs very good of them, of course. Iâd have to thank them personally.â
âWell, they didnât exactly volunteerâŚbut theyâre going to do it anyway. Now what do you think the best place would be?â
The two women talked for several minutes. When she left, Jess was carrying two of the charityâs collecting-boxes, and two posters which were used for shop windows or advertising at other venues. When she arrived back at Danaâs, Toni had already arrived, as usual bringing both Abigail and Lucy. Everyone immediately set about pasting the posters to pieces of cardboard, and attaching them to handles, made from an old broom handle and a piece of aluminium tube they found in the shed. The boys were waiting upstairs, and at ten Jess and Jill went up to get them ready. They stood there glumly in their colour-coded pull-ups. Dana and Jess dusted them with perfumed baby powder so they smelt like real babies, combed their hair, and began to dress them. On went their cute new plastic pants, their shiny bootees, their little vests, and finally their new baby capes, all bright and gleaming. Once they were neatly buttoned in, and their pointy hoods pulled over their heads, Jess produced their pacifiers, now both threaded onto wide coloured ribbons, and hung them around their necks. They looked splendid in their new outfits, Matthew all in red and blue, Philip in yellow and pink. Jess and Dana packed a changing bag, (not forgetting to put in their mitts and pacifier straps), and, with little pats on their bottoms, sent them out into the corridor, and followed them down the stairs, to where the others were waiting. Their capes bobbed up and down as they descended, setting off their contrasting pants perfectly.
âSo cute,â murmured Dana.
When they laid eyes on them, the girls first screamed with delight, then collapsed in fits of hysterical giggles. Philip wasnât fazed. He had made a decision to play his part as a willing participant.
âBaby Philippa not funny,â he blurted, in baby talk, making a sulky face, âBay Philippa and Baby Maffew smart, pretty babies. Wear nice capes. Pretty panties. Silly Kimona and girls jealous, me finks. Aunty Dana? Babies go shops now?â
This statement merely generated more hilarity. Even Matthew had to smile. âBaby Philippa stoopid,â he murmured. âBaby Maffew much prettier.â
âWow. Theyâre really into it!â whispered Shaniya to her mother. âThey look sensational! I love the way their capes totally show off their plastic pants. Are we leaving soon?â
They piled into the cars, stowing the placards and boxes in the boots, and were soon on their way. The boys went with Dana, Jess and Jill. Jill held the big changing bag on her lap. Just for the appearance of authenticity, Philip hoped. They drove down the High Street. It was much busier than Philip had anticipated.
âLots of people out,â said Jess, with relish.
âHolidays have started in earnest,â remarked Dana.
Philip frowned. In all the confusion, he had sort of forgotten all the schools broke up that very day. âWhere aunty gonna park?â he asked.
âNot here, love. Thereâs a little way to go, yet.â
âWhat? Where are we going, then,â said Philip, nervously, suddenly forgetting he was supposed to be acting the baby.
âMarshfield. Janice said she thought that would be the best place.â
âMarshfield?â Philip froze. Marshfield shopping centre was always seething with people. And worse. It was the place kids from the comp. liked to hang out.
âShit,â murmured Matthew. âWhy there, of all places?â
âJust as well weâre early,â Dana said to Jess. âItâs going to get busy there later.â
âBut weâll be home before then, wonât we?â Matthew asked anxiously.
âHome, dear?â said Jill. âOh, no, we wonât be home till much later. I know you'll want to collect as much money as possible for New Mums â won't you?â
âYes,â said Jess, âI know youâre going to put on a good show. I called the shopping centre this morning, and explained everything to them, and theyâre quite happy for us to set up by the central fountain. We can even use that little stage thing if we want to.â
They parked near to each other on the rooftop of the car park, and got out. Four girls, four mothers, Shaniya, and two boy-babies. It was raining lightly, speckling the boys' outfits with little drops. There were the four girls, the three mothers, Jill, Matthew and Philip. Dana handed out the placards and boxes, grabbed the changing bag, and they set off. They arrived at the lifts at the same time as two teenage girls, and Dana, Jess and the boys shared a lift with them, leaving the others to follow. The lift seemed to take ages. The faint scent of baby powder and warm plastic filled the enclosed space, and as the teenagers made vain efforts to stifle their splutters and snorts of laughter, Philip felt his cheeks beginning to burn with embarrassment. Jess took the opportunity to compound their discomfort by talking to them in baby talk.
âBaby Philippa? Is babyâs nappy still nice and dry? Good girl! Aunty give you a nice feed from your bottle soon. Baby Matthew?â
But Baby Matthew had regressed again. He had put his pacifier in his mouth, and was holding himself through his pants, for all the world like a real tired little baby.
âI think baby Matty will need a little nap soon,â remarked Dana.
They left the lift, and made their way between the shops towards the centre of the complex. There was the usual anodyne music playing from loudspeakers. Though it was early, the place was already getting busy. There were lots of families with children, who stopped and stared open-mouthed at the spectacle of these two oversized, but beautifully-dressed, babies. At the fountain they were met by a young female security guard, who, having done a double-take at the boys, quickly recovered herself and indicated the area that had been allocated to them.
âIf you wouldnât mind just keeping within the taped lines, ladies, or using the daisâ â she indicated a low platform, about fifteen feet square, in a recess in the fountain edge, that was used for musical performances â âyou can do whatever you like. If you want to go shopping, and leave the kids â or the babies â here, you can. Iâll be around here all day, so I can keep an eye on them.â
âThank you,â said Dana, âThatâs very kind of you. Whatâs your name?â
âNot at all, madam. Iâm Sonya. Iâve got three of my own. But the babies are adorable! Why donât you put them up on the dais where everyone can get a good view?â
âGood idea, Sonya,â said Dana. âIâm Dana, and this is Jess, Jill, and Toni, and this is my daughter Shaniya. These are our girls, and theseâ â she indicated the two blushing boys â âthese are our two volunteers, Matthew and Philippa.â
Sonya smiled broadly and nodded politely at them. Dana continued talking, but Sonya didnât seem to be paying attention. Her smile didnât fade, nor did she seem able to take her eyes off the two boys. Their discomfiture was increased by the fact a small crowd was now gathering, the children pointing and giggling. Matthewâs baby-like behaviour was drawing particular attention.
âPhilippa? Why donât you pop your dummy in, love? Like Matthew,â said Jess. âCome on, get in character.â
Philip stamped his foot. âShanât!â
âThatâs right. Thatâs better. Be a bit naughty. Then Sonya can come and tell you off, canât you Sonya?â
âThatâs right, er, Philippa,â grinned Sonya. âI know just how to deal with naughty little girls.â
The girls began busying themselves in front of the dais. Kimona and Lucy raised the placards, while Abigail and Dorelia held out the collection boxes. When the people discovered it was a charity stunt they were watching, they began willingly to donate, partly from altruism, but also because it justified them in remaining there gawping at the âbabiesâ. The problem was, having paid their money, they felt they should be entertained. And though the spectacle of the boys standing there, fidgeting awkwardly with embarrassment, was in itself quite amusing, they soon wanted something more. Their frustration was vocalised mainly by the children in the audience.
âMummy, are the babies going to do a show?â
âCan we go and look at the babies?â
âI want that girl baby to suc-k her dummy too!â
âI think theyâre hungry, mummy. When are they going to be fed?â
âTheyâve got baby pants just like Milly, havenât they mummy?â
Sonya winked at Jess. âThey donât look very happy.â
âNo. They probably want their milk.â
âOh, do you have some?â
âI have their bottles.â Jess opened the bag and showed her two big plastic bottles.
âOh, my. Those teatsâŚare so big. If I get some milk, could I help, do you thinkâŚ?â
âBe our guest, Sonya.â
âIâll be right back,â she said, turning and pushing her way through the crowd.
âWhat a nice woman, that Sonya,â smiled Dana.