Joe was even more mortified having to wear the multi-layered petticoats under his dresses all week. He knew it would make skipping â his main form of exercise â even more embarrassing. And his neighbour Barry was in his garden nearly all the time just waiting for a cheap thrill.
Joeâs mother came out. âWhy arenât you skipping dear? You need the exercise.â Joe sighed heavily and glanced at Barry who had clearly perked up next door. His mother handed him the rope. Joe had to think of something else to do quickly â something she would agree to.
âCan I play with the dolls instead?â He almost threw up as soon as heâd said it. His mother was clearly pleasantly surprised. âOf course dear.â So Joe went to the boxes and picked up a doll, cringing as he tried to think what he was supposed to do with it. He went over to the garden seat and tried to arrange his petticoats beneath him with one hand as he clutched his doll with the other.
His mother placed the box of dollâs clothes beside him. âThere you are. I think sheâd look pretty in that cerise dress!â He looked into the box. Cerise? What the f*** was cerise? He could see that Barry was losing interest â throwing his eyes up at the sissy girl playing with dolls.
Joe consoled himself that sitting on the garden seat in his yellow dress, petticoats and white tights playing with dolls was marginally better than skipping and showing off his yellow rumba panties.
He finished dressing the doll and placed it beside him on the seat. He chose another doll and outfit. His mother was watching from the kitchen window so he had to keep playing with the dolls or there was a danger sheâd insist that he skip again.
When she next came out next, he had three dolls lined up beside him on the seat. âYou should have a tea party!â she suggested, pointing to the plastic toy tea set in another box. Again, Joe felt sick at the thought of having a pretend tea party with his dolls in his yellow dress and petticoats. He stayed where he was.
âWhy donât you get that nice doll on the display cabinet in the dining room?â his mother suggested as she passed back. âThat peach dress fits her as far as I recall.â Joe looked in the box. Peach? What the hell did peach look like?
Anyway, he reckoned it got him out of Barryâs view for a few moments. He stood up and carefully arranged his petticoats around him before walking back into the house. He went into the dining room and saw the doll on the lower shelf of the display cabinet.
He went over, bent down and picked it up. He turned clutching the doll and froze as he heard âHello!â and then a very surprised âWhoâs that?!â His granny was in a Zoom meeting with her three sisters â Agnes, Kate and Peg.
âOh, sorry I didnât tell youâ, his granny responded. Joe could see the screen on her computer. Her sisters were looking intensely at their screens. He could see his grannyâs quarter of the Zoom meeting. She was leaning back and he was clearly visible in his yellow dress, full petticoats and white tights, his pigtails tied with yellow ribbons and now he was clutching a large doll.
âCome here Joeâ, his granny beckoned. He was horrified at her reveal. âJoe?!!!â he heard in unison from his great aunts. He moved disconsolately towards the screen. âDoesnât he make a pretty girl?â âI LOVE the matching rumba panties!â, Agnes giggled. Joe cringed. Why hadnât he been more careful picking up the doll? Ugh! The doll!
He could see the amazed, giggling, tittering faces on the other three screens as his granny explained how heâd had no choice but to wear dresses and was now playing in the garden every day in front of the other children in his pretty dresses. Heâd even been to the shops to buy those rumba panties.
âI bet you love wearing those white tights!â Kate teased. âOh, why donât you put on those pretty lace patterned tights for them?â his granny suggested. Kate squealed with laughter as Joe stood mortified. âYou look so pretty in your petticoats and pigtailsâ, Peg added.
âWhatâs your dollyâs name?â Agnes persisted. His granny whispered âAbigailâ to him. âAbigailâ Joe told them. âIs she your favourite?â He sighed. âI remember the box of dolls thereâ, Peg recalled. âWhich one is your favourite?â Joe wasnât taking the bait.
âWe must send you the video of Easter Sundayâ, his granny told them. Joe was horrified. âWe had an Easter Egg hunt. He was wearing his mumâs floral Easter dress with those petticoats, his lace-pattered tights and pink rumba panties. Wait until you see him skipping!â His grand auntsâ jaws dropped simultaneously. âOh do send it. I canât wait to see that!â
Eventually Joe squirmed away from the screen and took his doll outside. After another hour of dressing his dolls his mother suggested that he needed to do some vacuuming. It was that or skipping he reckoned.
She was pleased that his extensive apron fitted nicely over his dress even poufed out with his petticoats. They called on him to bring them tea in the garden when he was half way through vacuuming.
As he brought the tray out the wind caught his petticoats. He was clutching the tray and could do nothing to stop his petticoats whirling up around him. He placed the tray on the table and turned to go back. He was met by the broad grin of Barry staring though the fence. Despite all Joeâs efforts heâd clearly got what heâd been hoping for.