Mothers Organising Disciplinary Schooling for Boys decided to have an annual event with prize-giving. Mrs Henley led the festivities. “Our first prize will be the Best Baby Award and we have three entrants!”
The audience applauded as three teenage boys were wheeled out onto the stage in large strollers. They were all in their prettiest, frilliest dresses and bonnets and squirmed desperately on being brought out in view but were firmly held in the strollers by leather straps. They all suc-ked hard on soothers that were not strapped in, being well used to them at this stage – if not dependent on them.
Mrs Cave proudly displayed James in the centre – confident that she could ensure his win as he was longest in nappies – the other two being kind of proteges.
“Can we see their pretty outfits properly?” Mrs Henley prompted to more applause. The mothers loosened the straps from the strollers but kept the boys in the harnesses with firm grips on the reins.
The boys were slow to get out of the strollers aware that when they stood up their short dresses and petticoats would reveal very frilled nappy covers bulging over thick nappies. Mrs Henley commented on aspects of their clothes. “Don’t you just love Casper’s alphabet patterned tights?” “Isn’t James’s sailor dress so cute!” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many layers of petticoats”, she commented running her fingers through the countless hems under Peter’s dress.”
“You will get to vote on the Best Baby but you don’t have to make your mind up just yet.” Three high-sided play pens were set up at the front of the stage towards one side. The mothers tugged on the harnesses and led the big babies to the play-pens. The mothers in the audience noticed that James’s nappy appeared to sag more than the others and commented to each other that he must be very wet. The two other baby-mothers frowned wishing they had thought of ensuring that their little charge had a thoroughly soaked nappy too to show off in front of everyone.
The boys were pushed into the play-pens, the gates were clicked shut and they stood clutching the high side bars as they realised they were going to be kept in full view of the audience for some time. “And the Best Baby will be allowed to progress to Toddler status!” Mrs Henley announced.
The boys on hearing this immediately set about playing convincingly with their rattles and blocks, suddenly now trying to win over the audience. The ladies all smiled and waved at the sissy babies in their pens, particularly pleased if the boy waved his rattle back or gurgled in response.
James crawled to the other side of his pen to give the audience a good view of the crowd-pleasing two-inch lace on the seat of his nappy cover. Peter, on seeing this, turned his bottom to the audience and made sure to wiggle his bottom noticeably while he crawled. There were little ripples of applause from the audience in response. James glared at Peter through the bars of their cots: this was on!
Casper, who was only in nappies and baby dresses a couple of months, couldn’t bring himself to act the complete sissy baby like the other two so sat disconsolately suc-king on his soother, convincing himself that he didn’t want to humiliate himself even more.
“Next comes the lip-synch battle”, Mrs Henley announced. The ladies in the audience clapped enthusiastically. Two victims were led out holding their mummy’s hands. They both wore Shirley Temple costumes and heaps of sausage curls. Tom was in the Stand Up and Cheer costume – white dress with large red polka dots, flared from under the arms over layers of flouncy petticoats. Kyle was in the Baby Take a Bow dress, baby pink with six layers of lace crammed onto the short skirt.
“And the winner of the lip-synch battle will progress to school-girl”, Mrs Henley announced. The two boys eyed each other determinedly. “Now the first test is to ensure that their sausage curls are genuine.” Mrs Henley took a bunch of Tom’s ringlets and pulled up. “Ow!” he protested. She moved to Kyle and he squealed girlishly as his real ringlets were pulled, drawing a scowl from Tom who wished he’d thought of that. The audience applauded at the confirmation that both boys had their own hair permed into sausage curls.
“Assume your start positions”, Mrs Henley ordered. The two boys dropped into a curtsey holding their petticoats out and froze in that position. Good Ship Lollipop started playing on the PA system. The boys started their well-drilled dance routines, their mothers clapping anxiously from the sides of the stage – hoping the hours and hours of practice would pay off.
As the boys twirled, their pull-up nappies were revealed and the sissy babies looked on enviously from their play-pens wishing they could wear dresses that long. The two dancers were keeping a close eye on each other and were clearly trying to out-do the other in terms of twirling, mincing around and swinging their sausage curls.
There was great applause as the boys finished with another deep curtsey, each trying to outdo the other in how long they could hold it. “Alright ladies, you have voting buttons – press the red button if you think Tom was the best Shirley Temple, blue button for Kyle.
The boys watched anxiously as the numbers were displayed on a big screen at the back of the stage, desperately hoping to progress to those pink gingham primary school uniforms and proper panties.
“It’s Kyle by just two votes!” Mrs Henley announced when voting time was up. Kyle jumped up and down, giving more flashes of his pull-up nappy – but he didn’t care, he would be out of them soon.
Tom slumped and tried to hide his disappointment behind his sausage curls. But his hands balled and went up to rub his moist eyes. Soon he started stamping his feet in frustration. “Oh dear, have we a little tantrum?” Tom’s mother grabbed his hand and tugged him off the stage. “No! No please!” the boy pleaded as he was led away.
“So it’s time to put our cute babies out of their misery – well, this particular misery – by voting on the Best Baby. James red button, Casper blue button and Peter yellow button.” Everyone watched the results scrolled up on the screen. The boys desperately hoping that maybe they could wear those Shirley Temple dresses if they won.
“And it’s James!” Mrs Henley opened the side of James’s play-pen and let him out. James was so excited he couldn’t stop curtseying his thanks to the audience. His mother took his hand to lead him away and he continued waving happily to the audience. He couldn’t wait for his toddler dresses.
“Never mind babies”, Mrs Henley looked down on the disappointed losers. “There’s always next year.” “Nnnnggghhh!” The two babies climbed to their feet and shook the bars of their play-pens on realising that they had been consigned to a whole year in nappies and baby-dresses – at least! Peter suddenly looked down and squirmed, clearly wetting his nappy as the audience looked on.
Topic: Home-schooling (Read 33273 times)
