Author Topic: Promises, Obligations and Consequences (Read 144287 times)

teddi · « **Reply #14 on:** March 15, 2008, 12:24:11 AM »

I did not want to leave but I felt like I was being made to do so. That "Her" very words could pull me back, into my room, against my will and away from my sister. As I backed up, I tried to scream STAY AWAY FROM HER but was met with the same stoney silence.

A few moments later I felt the back of my legs touch my bed. Trembling I turned to lay down, and as I did saw............MYSELF. It was ....Me!? Me? I was already IN bed!? Asleep!? Wh....whh what was going on!? How could I.... All a dream!? Was this a bad dream?! I sat down on my bed. . Did I die too?!! Tears were running down my face. I bent over and cradled my face with both of my hands and sobbed. I was afraid to go near me because of what I might find! I was so afraid.

I don't know how long I sat and cried. Softly and gently I heard someone speak to me ....finally I thought. I can hear sounds. With my head spinning from crying and through bleary eyes I turned to the voice.

"Mommy?" I had a really bad dream and.....and.....and....Christine and ...annd, uh, m.m.me we, uh, we ---there was .....in our rooms.... "

I heard the voice again, much clearer this time speaking to me. Much, much clearer.

She was speaking to me: "No, little one, it is not Mommy." She quickly added: "Do not look up yet, as you may be frightened, even more so at my sight."

teddi · « **Reply #15 on:** March 17, 2008, 03:10:13 PM »

Where before I sat and cried, I now trembeled with fear. I shook my head from side to side then lowered it once more. I didn't want to see "her" and was deathly afraid of looking at "her." Her voice grew stronger, though still soft as she approached my bedside. I kinda knew "she" was kneeling beside me and turned my head to the right kinda to make sure I didn't look at "her." While kneeling to my left "she" continued to talk to me. But, all I remember was that "she" really wasn't angry with me or that her scolding of me was because she thought I had gotten outta bed against her specific wishes, but now impressed about something or other. But I was still in bed, wasn't I, or what the hell am I doing here with no clothes on and my teeth chattering!

"She" said something a..about that this "experience" was not meant for "you child." That confused me even more. But, I was still in bed and at the same time wasn't! I was out side of me, had looked at me but I, me, was here. Wasn't I?

My head started to spin, and the sicker to my stomach I got. And while the me that was sitting on the bed was still naked, I thought "what's the difference." The only other thing I remember is "she" said that Christina was to talk with me after I had "waken." I was too confused, said nothing and waited for whatever was going to happen.

The next thing I remember was that I felt a tapping on my right shoulder. I was scrunched up like a baby and buried my my still spinning head futher into the covers and refused to budge. I also cried in knowing that I had wet the bed and it wasn't like I'd just done it either. It was really cold. Almost at the same time I realized who was on my bed, laying beside me. I could read her. I cried out loud and ....

I

teddi · « **Reply #16 on:** March 18, 2008, 09:14:01 AM »

I ...I - never finished what I was going to say. Instead of being back in my room I was now sitting in front of Mom and Dad. My eyes were open and took in first, the look of astonishment or disbelief on their faces. Mom had tears in her eyes, but unlike me, she controlled them. Dad's mouth was slightly opened and he appeared to be leaning ever so slighty forward in stunned silence: awaiting further embellishment. The clock on the wall behind them read eight-twenty; which means I had been talking for some twenty minutes.

I felt Christina remove her hand from my right cheek; while at the same time, silently telling me that I had done "really good." But now, "to relax, take a deep breath and take a break. I'll try to fill in some of the blanks."

Releasing myself from the ram-rod straight up and down position I sat in, I crossed both of my hands at the wrists and placed them on the light oak table top in front of me. I slowly bent forward and lowered my head upon them while at the same time heaving a sigh of relief as the gentle wisps of cool air from the ceiling air vents filled the room.

My sobs began in earnest. Christina began to speak to Mom and Dad while at the same time, starting to pat my back. That this was for what she said was "con-so-la-tion." I guess she was trying to make me feel better. Lovingly her words of "there, there, little one. There, there, don't cry. It'll be alright soon" were also coupled with hearing her spoken words to our parents. I marveled again at how she could do this. Imperceptable to Mom and Dad, because Christina now held their attention, my head moved ever so slightly in agreement.

teddi · « **Reply #17 on:** March 18, 2008, 04:07:24 PM »

Christina began to "flesh out" the details. At least I knew what she meant by that when she began. "Mom-Dad, what you've heard is what happened with both of us on that night. I, was able to do what Chris saw with the help of our angel. And Chris, that night became an exceptional child in her eyes.

Her appearance to me was not as terrifying as it was to be for Christopher.

To me, "she" had preceded her appearance many times in what I first thought were dreams. They were ever so peaceful and nice. Slowly I became accustomed to her "voice" - if you could call it that - while asleep. At length she would teach me how to pray - and even gave me one short prayer to say before I went to sleep at night and told me to teach it to Christopher as well.

Before too long, my curiosity took hold. I had the desire to see who I was "speaking" with. It seemed she understood my need and first revealed herself - appearing to me as if hidden behind a veil or opaque screen of some type. I became increasingly comfortable as the faintness of "her" image faded to one of absolute clarity.

Standing before me was as beautiful a woman as I have ever seen. Her height was well over six feet and "she"wore as pure a white robe as sight could tolerate. As striking a figure I could never imagine. Especially so because of "her" eyes. Their color was the deepest blue you could ever imagine - which in turn complemented the color of her ash blond hair; which was ever so lovely. She wore it long, with many soft and lengthy curls -the length of which hung well below the tips of her fingers.

Lastly, an ever so beautifully braided portion also, and emphatically, accented her appearance; was set from temple to temple: thus, offering the appearance of a wreath or crown of some type. The skin on her arms was without a blemish or mark of any type. I marveled at her beauty.

As I looked upon "her" I became consumed with worry. Christopher, could always read my mind, so, why hadn't he picked up on this? Months had past and there was not the slightest hint that he knew what I was doing or was about to do or so I thought and so did "she."

She said he would be unable to pierce my thoughts where "she" and I were concerned. Also, that he was not ready to "accompany" me - by that I presumed that Chris wasn't up to it for some reason."

She paused before continuing.

I heard that and immediately pulled my cheeks in, tightened my lips and cried even harder. "Shit! I'm even dissed by an "angel" whose supposed to be, what? Guarding... me? Yea, right, scaring the piss outta me is more like it! Why did this...this wh..whatever t..trash m...me?"

Christina, noticied my frustration, silently spoke to me. "No! It's not like that at all - I promise." I mentally began to crawl back into myself. I wanted to die!

Christina asked if we could take a "short break." "Get some water and also so I can get with Christopher before we go on?"

Oh of course, this was agreed to- why not! Christina got up and ask me out loud to "come on - get up and we'll talk: o.k?"

I was torked. O.k. so maybe I'm kinda slow, with alot of things, but I'm not that slow. I know when its time to tell someone to get outta my face. I raised my head up off of my arms and tersly replied. "Sorry, don't feel like it - so just leave me alone: k?"

teddi · « **Reply #18 on:** March 19, 2008, 09:00:54 AM »

Crap! As soon as I said that I felt rotten. Christina's feelings were, well, both hurt and confused. Christina had stood beside me and was now perplexed as to how she should proceed. Her thoughts raced through me and then abruptly stopped. Suddenly, a clear moment of her understanding hit me - "Oh shit! No! I didn't and she didn't mean it like that! Your not a dumb ass!!! But right now, you need to pull yourself up and listen. Hear what I need to tell you.!"

I knew Mom and Dad were looking at both of us and that Christina's thoughts were to her the truth - so, well, I blurted "whatever" out loud. I sat up ever so slowly, to face her, and replied.

"K - go ahead and tell me. Why?"

Christina began. "I want you to listen very carefully and don't try to read me." I began to speak, but, she took her right hand and placed her palm totally and firmly across my mouth. While, at the same time, telling me - "and don't you even try to talk until I'm done."

I was surprised by her, well, uh, her firmness of voice and I guess she was really determined to have her way. I moved my head to confirm that I would do as she asked. Hell what choice did I have? Listen or not to listen. Either way I was gonna get an ear full and so would my parents.

Slowly, her palm lifted from my face. She pulled out the chair to my left and sat down. She leaned forward, moving ever closer to me then started to tear as she began.

teddi · « **Reply #19 on:** March 19, 2008, 11:45:17 AM »

She placed her hands upon both of my shoulders and pulled me closer to her.

"Neither "she" nor I' consider you a "dumb ass." She thought that you were "not ready to accompany me" and I in turn drew the conclusion that "you were not up to it." Both of those conclusions were based on concern for your physical and mental well being. She did not want to place you under undo stress - her concern for you was and is genuine. And I, also knowing what could happen agreed: that maybe, if you were to do what I was going to do, that it would cause you more harm in the short run than good. That it would be best to wait a while - then try it.

I really apologize. Honest. My words tonight weren't meant to hurt your feelings, make you feel unworthy or uncared for. Nor make you cry. They were instead a relating of circ-umstances which at the time... well...appeared to be....DAMN IT CHRIS........tonight I'm trying to talk of what I know, and what you still don't now anything about! At the time they were incorrect conclusions which were...terribly wrong.

After "she" realized what had happened and came to your room she admitted that "even angels are not right all the time."

Christina paused for a moment, as if to say, "think about that!," then continued.

"You were terrified of what had happened. She understood that but puzzled as to how and why you happened upon us. Yes, at first seeing you walk into my room, "She" was angry, and made that perfectly clear to you through her eyes, flashing and cutting you to tears: while at the same time ordering you to return to your bed: thinking that you had disobeyed her direction for you to remain in your room, in your bed and not "intrude upon tonights events."

It was only after you returned to your room did she begin to understand, through your terrified thoughts what was occuring, had occured or what was to occur. When "she" ordered you back to your room, only then did she have an "unsettling thought."

Chris -She was sitting on the edge of my bed when I awoke from my "experience." I knew she was proud of me and loved me but....."her" concern for you was enormous.

As she sat on the edge of my bed, "she" bent her head ever so slightly to the right, closed her eyes, and whispered "how could I have been so blind? How can one as young as your brother .....? Impossible?? No! "For even now he sits terrified and unconsoled in his room - how wrong my estimation of him was. How dearly he loves you - how creative and brave a soul. To transcend time, space and matter for the love of his sister."

Gosh, I didn't know what she was talking about now.

She continued on, asking me questions about you and if I knew anything about your "abilities" as far a time was concerned. I shook my head no then quickly corrected myself and said "Shit! Oh, I'm sorry, but, yes!

"Christopher was always telling me how he could see the hour hand on a clock move. "It's easy" he said. He also told me of how, how at times, he could make everything stop moving - like all the people would stop and be frozen in place while he talked with them - then, when he had had enough - he started them back up again - it was "like starting up a movie after it stopped."

"He also told me about the trip to New York and what happened at Macy's. He left Mom and Dad to see if he could find electric trains. Instead of finding the trains he walked up to the rear doors and looked through them. He said he saw "old stuff - like in the olden times. There were horses pulling carriages. People in all kind of funny clothes and that even the ladies carried umbrellas - and it wasn't even raining. But he got scared because some old lady dressed in black was beckoning him to walk outside to her. He didn't know why but he got goose bumps as she got closer. He didn't like how she looked at him and backed up. He said that she sneared at him and looked angry that he wasn't going to come outside. He ran to find Mom and Dad and me. I noticed he had wet himself but I didn't say anything. Anyhow, he grabbed Mom's hand and dragged her to the doors while at the same time explaining what he saw. I followed and giggled at his story. Of course when we got to the doors, it was like, normal. There were no horses and no lady waiting for him. Mom was angry that he had made up such a story and also for wetting himself. "But it was real. Honest! It was!" Mom tanned his butt right there, for making up stories and for peeing in his pants. He wet himself even more as she spanked him. I felt really bad for him.

"Then there's Chris' sleepytime time or poem. He made up the words and would say it before he went to sleep:

Tick Tock - look at the clock.

Tick Tock - I make it stop.

Tick Tock - its hands are mine - we move

Tick Tock - Back to black or towards the light

Tick Tock - Tock or Tick - Tick Tock

A wry smile escaped "her" lips. She spoke slowly: "This child, how precious a soul. That he came to you as he did.........."She" read my thoughts and puzzlement that crossed my face.

"She" spoke to me. "Time is but a place. A small moment of what was, what is or shall be. "She" shook her head and smiled. Christopher did not disobey my request this evening for he still lies asleep in his bed. The one who mourns for both of you is also your Christopher - but.....not just yet. for the one who is naked and terrified comes from tomorrows evening. And since I never have or had tasked him to remain where he was....he took it upon himself to see for your safety.

teddi · « **Reply #20 on:** March 19, 2008, 02:19:44 PM »

She continued - "Truth be known - what he saw was not a fabricated tale. Even at the age of six, he unknowingly passed from now to then. His lady in black was no such thing but rather a "corruptor." His fright was not unfounded. She would have fed upon his innocence and turned him from pure of heart to..........who knows what?

"My dearest child, your Christopher will require you when dawn breaks. Speak of what you have done and what he has seen. But, do not speak of our conversation. Hold it close and know that his love for you consumes his very existance.

"He is already shattered - and will remain so for the years to come. For now - silence is necessary. Attend him as he cries and console him. He will ask little of you. Yet, there are other matters which he hides. His wails of protest and fright will trigger the revealing of this eve's truths."

She left me and went to your room. I followed her. I peaked around the door and looked inside. There were two of you! One was asleep in bed and the other had turned his head away from her and was crying really bad. She looked back to me, smiled, then turned back to talk to you.

As she did you rocked back and forth holding your head with both hands and started to say something. She turned again and waved for me to leave. I did and went back to my room. I laid down and went to sleep.

I looked from Christine over to my parents and then back to my sister. "Mom? Dad?" she said, I sorta know what your both thinking or at least I hope I do. Everything I said and everything Chris said is the honest truth! When Chris exploded this afternoon I recognized a couple of words that would trigger him and lead us to where we are now."

She turned back to look at me. She was really starting to cry. This was the first time I'd ever seen her cry like this. I got up and hugged her. As I stroked her hair I noticed the slight smell of perfume on her neck (and how I kinda wanted to smell as good a she did). I mused, knowing that she had swiped some from Mom's dresser, at how easy it was for me to hold her, a girl, and tell her "thank you ever so much."

Silently, I just wished that the next part of my tasks would go smoothly. I don't know how much she knew about what I was gonna say and right now it really didn't matter.

Mom broke the moment with a slight cough. Her face was flushed and I giggled as she reached for another shot glass full of liquor. Dad finished what little remained of his "last one" then, in quick succession belted back two more shots as he muttered something about some long past experience which now had been drudged from the past.

"Mom? I think I need a change. Do you mind?" I took Christina's hand and started walking to go upstairs. I turned again to Mom and asked, "are you coming or does Christina have to do it?!" Mom's look was priceless. She gave Dad a slight kiss on the cheek telling him "I don't want you winding up like you did on New Years!" Christina turned to me and sorta gave me a smile - she knew I was helping Mom and Dad "get a grip."

This time Mom caught up with us at the stair landing - we weren't walking very fast - "What am I going to do with you both?" Again I thought another rhetorical question. She forced a smile and said "shall we?"