Promises, Obligations and Consequences

[teddi]

"...a most wary man.  For as a young man I had suspiciously viewed life as nothing more than but a game of chance; and in turn surmised the events I had encountered either as fortuitous incidents; or, of unfortunate and untimely-disconnected circ-umstances. Which in course left me to ponder the obvious: on the one hand, if not for this, would I have done that, or, if, only I had chosen differently: of how things would have been different.  If, only I had done otherwise or had the will, the good fortune, to have been warned of the consequences, or, to have not chosen at all; how would all have changed, if, at all? However, during the course of the intervening years, for some reason, I had resolved otherwise; that somehow I was in error.  That those events appeared timely, if not somehow, discreetly orchestrated, to facilitate in some manner the subtle product of another.



"Peter, I must admit, as I nervously sat opposite the imposing specter that at that same instant, yet another most odd thought occurred; was I a child, circ-umspectly led by the hand, as in an assessment, to resolve each?  Moreover, was the choice made in each mine:  had each been ordained?   I looked fleetingly to her face for some measure of response but in turn not even the slightest of smiles nor change of expression appeared.  I presumed her wordless and stoic appearance was in and of itself an unspoken declaration.



"Yet again, my last thought prompted her reply," "Werhner, lastingly, to your mind I shall entrust my words as it is essential that upon your timely return you further consider my every thought.  Despite the selection, as it is with all decisions, the event, in the end, in some form, is altered; yet the choices have not been fated, inevitably, each has always been yours.  However, in the inescapable moment of resolution, regardless of the paradigm, all dimensional probabilities occur, yet only one, in time, is fortuitously recognized and so enacted.  Nonetheless, the various realities vie to exist, but are doomed to wander amongst themselves devoid of purpose.  There, within the expanse of time, ages pass and each in turn, is predictably forgotten.  So enc-umbered within the stillness, they wait:  in the blackness of endless space, cold, alone, forsaken, the unspoken and uncared for clamor in vain for their realization, to the princely overlord of time:  until, in utter misery, each will knowingly yield itself to the oncoming void; oblivion.  Then as is if upon a whim, rendered.  Thus consigned, his authority consumes them without requiem and as fleeting memories devoid of spirit, they are lost to us evermore.  It is the essence of nature Werhner, and in some measure, the nature of the source, of which I once was and of which has now moved you these many years.  In part, I have explained yet I have promised to assist and will do so.



"You are a learned man, so special.  Why is it now that you have not considered in your musings that, regardless of time, more than one item, regardless of state or condition, may coincide with another; but yet, at that specific instant, that only the least salient may be observed in that compatible moment?  The other, although unobservable, is nonetheless present: as it too, exists, but even more so, consider that it may not be discordant; but instead, ingeniously harmonious, and through time itself, governing.



"I would task you, as a man of science to consider, is an identical shadow cast on any given day less evident than the other.  Is it not a product of the tangible?  Therefore, is it not evident; thus meriting acknowledgement, if not consideration, that it is too a creation of another, that it also inescapably, exists?  When you gaze to the nightly stars, as a learned man of science, you accurately discern that the moment viewed has long since past; but only at that instant do you perceive what your eyes behold.  You astutely grasp the concept that the light you view is millions of your years in age and only then, at that moment, are you able to asses it.  You have seen the light of the past as it existed.  Yet if one may accurately view and then asses the light of the past are you consequently unable to perceive the reverse?  Consider what you have assessed previously.  You astutely acknowledged it as such and so deemed it a singularity, in essence, "the variant of a primal one;" however slightly misconstrued, and so concluded to another with but the single word, "beset," as a misnomer.  Why are you now so constrained?  Please, it is merely a rhetorical question, to which the answer is evident.



"Dear Werhner, allow yourself, then reconsider an instant past when unwittingly, you had partially answered the question yourself, several times over and yet again only moments ago.  It is the same thought at different times.  Despite the slight differentials, "they are equivalent and impossible to tell apart."  "The axiom to me is a truism."  "I think therefore I am."  Is one thought less a coincidence in time than the other?  Is my presence here, happenstance?  No, it is as purposeful and as necessary as is yours.



"Take heed Werhner, for now, even to you, a learned man, must and will understand the totality of your thoughts:  "Ergo -cognate sum," that even I, Athena, by your own admission, a darkened shadow of the past, exist.  The conundrum has been evident, disbelief:  as I too am now but an inspired portion of what has spurred you.  For too many, recurring doubt, is for the greater part, more influential than are the forgotten, unspoken, memories of time and the consequences contained therein are ominously manifest.



"Still, despite your, frailty, you remain perceptive, and are now singularly priviledged, to ascend beyond the fifth.  How infrequent the realization that the reality of existence is established from those unlimited possibilities that in each unique choice afforded, yields distinctively to but one in time.  Therefore, it is not coincidental that at this moment you are so judged and singularly favored.



"Nor is it coincidence that both the source of your inspiration, as is mine, is in part, nearby and the authority, which has moved you as I, both, approach.  For to you, the source is one whose face you had in the past lightly engaged: but now, in part, bears my name, truthfully.  Grasp as well that over the ages, as recompense, that she too, has become a perpetual wanderer: so hollowed and desperate in spirit, that now, even eternity expectantly awaits her fate,  as I.  Sadly, she exists, alone and in need, an embodied shadow:  a primal recollection, the amalgamation of ages past, hers, yours, as well as mine.  And that to her, in the forthcoming instant of an unspoken vow would hold the promise of tomorrow's future, not only hers, but all others, as well as mine; yet only if grasped for the moment.



"Moreover, the inspiration, which seeks her, an image, the genisis born of my own conception, is that perfection which has moved you through these many days.  Beware, he is no less than I once was and is in dire need of more...especially of compassion.  Take care Werhner therein lays the greater secret; that upon a precipitate thought...all, in existence would change, as it has so often in the past and thereby in turn the loss would be to us all:  forever condemned to the eternal blackness of time; fated to linger, unseen, loveless and ceaselessly in need.



"But you too are now a needful man; first of our amicable parting and then of safely returning these half score years you have so far traveled.  At long last, my eyes, which you have studiously avoided, permit me to reflect upon the learned man, with words from one more eloquent than I, that man, gently beholds, "The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals-and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?"*  Is it the paradigm of man?  Listen closely for the answer, Werhner; there is no higher accolade as it resonates from on High.  The Gallery of the Gods as I applaud you, a mortal man, alone, the purest of the fifth element, in its essence, the final extract from dust of which all things by His hands are compounded."



She paused for a moment and then continued."  "The look upon your face is evident, you beam at my thoughts.  However, I ask you, solemnly appreciate the moment at hand, the reflection of another, that sadly, for ages, that I too have wanted and that, "Man delights not me-nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so."



"Now, the hole of time, in its entirety, waits, but only for you, as incredibly the hours hang suspended for you to return the half score

years you have journeyed.  To do so you must step willingly into its portal.  In that instant, upon your arrival, look to the perpetual wanderer's gift, the globes, which I, upon first request, had secured and consider how far you have been singularly conveyed and honored.  For in that sliver of time, the authority, which has moved you, as I, matures.



"Man, of science, consider, in that moment, that to him, one second is as thirty two million years to others.^  Then with sympathy smile in understanding that, I, once a prisoner, cast of my own contrivance, shall at last be free and content:  for even angels or would be gods are not unfettered.  They too are bound:  and sometimes, even as idols, fall, some from immeasurable heights, farther than others.  Yet, the remainder, for all their worth, are equally naught without belief.  Now Werhner, consider that these next, among my last words to you, are for another's ears and as such must be accurately conveyed for though I now...exist...I cannot escape the depth of my imperfection...the reality...that at last...I too now mourn."



"Peter, listen closely, you must understand; that I am neither mad nor impaired and I must pause for the moment to consider the importance attached to her words, of, "...if you would fail...not only you, but all others will be lost to us forever," which were spoken with such sincerity...as if...she believed the world itself, depended upon them.  But emphatically more so, it was the look in her eyes, which accompanied her additional words of, "All this, I long ago had seen:  belatedly.  My little one, hear my plea, forgive me?" which misted as water sprayed upon the red embers of a burning fire.  Peter, I understood completely the depth of her insinuation:  it was of complete remorse for some unspoken act.  I pondered the outlandish thought that, if, angels did exist, why no tears fell?



"Immediately her reply to my unvoiced consideration was," "Werhner, even to angels in penitence there are many forms of contrition.  Until so judged in time, it is the unvarying reminder, that as some promises, the depth of my tears, as their well, will remain empty and are of no consequence; moreover, that none others will suffice, not even my own.  Paradigm of man, though I exist, I still lack and will remain so; until...

________________

*Shakespear, Hamlet

^The equivalent of a femtosecond.

[teddi]

“…so graced by the gentle touch of a mortal hand. Why is it that among mortals that only you distinguish that my eyes betray me; and that for many reasons, especially those unspoken, that I am still more feared than loved?  And of all the waters combined, that would slake their fire, only a precious few, distilled in life, shall be of consequence?



“Shall you judge that I too, as a solitary child, wait, and want for the magic that could be found in a moment:  ever believing that I too may, if only once in time, be held likewise in affection by a little one?  Admittedly, I anticipate an innocent and willing soft caress upon my unapproachable face that would readily move me, and in turn, warm my stone cold heart.  



“Truthfully, I would reply, that in time, so longing, I would finally gaze upon his beauty and gratefully cradle him as my own.  It is on a promise, yet unfulfilled, that destiny waits us all.  Regretfully, with each reflected moment it is also the reminder that in Heaven the first among many still remains among the last; wanting fulfillment.



“Conceivably, it is also the reminder Werhner, that it is time for you to leave…and as you must travel the road back, look to that path, and then dispel your many doubts; they are unbecoming.   You must…now leave…they…are here.”



“Leave, just like that, she said she wanted me to up and leave but wait, where was I?  Oh yes, I was…just thinking about leaving…perhaps more so now than ever. However, I see that questionable look on your face, again.  You doubt me…with each event I have conveyed; in addition, you manifestly pity me and silently if not disdainfully think me, feeble of mind. Peter, take care that you are not dismissive of what you consider my delusions.   Perhaps…I shall conclude in summary fashion but caution you that there is a greater and implicit secret, of which you are obviously unaware as apparently, you too are now a wary young man;  more the pity for you…if not for us all.



“For the moment, so be it….but what is the harm to humor me…dignify the moment and after I leave, if you will, after I die…read all of what I have written then consider that when that inevitable moment occurs and you remove my personal effects from my office, that you take special care to note my mobile.  It is a perfect piece of work but to the casual observer it merely contains the mundane of the current; including the several man made satellites, which have long keyed my personal interest.  Of course, I spurred the notion by subtly naming them.  



"Why would I ask this?



 â€śĂśber Peter… darin legt das Geheimnis und Sie mĂĽssen seine Bedeutung verstehen…, daĂź sie mir als Geschenk… 1936…, das vierzig Jahren vor an der Olympiade XI ist, bloĂźe Stunden vor der Eröffnungs ankunft des einsamen Läufers dargestellt wurde, der beleuchtete Fackel, in den Stadium trug. (Peter…therein lays the secret and you must understand its significance…that it was presented to me as a gift… in 1936...that is over forty years ago at the XI Olympiad, mere hours prior to the inaugural arrival of the lone runner, who carried a lit torch, into the stadium).  Wie erstaunlich, das I, jetzt bettlässig, nach der äuĂźerteironie reflektieren:   die Darstellung vom reinsten des Lichtes, das Herz der Schwärzung, als die bestellte vom Schwärzesten der Männer in Bestehen bis dahin eintragend:  das Fuhrer selbst. (How astonishing that I, now bedridden, reflect upon the utter irony:   the representation of the purest of light, entering the heart of darkness, as ordered by then one of the blackest of men in existence:  the Fuhrer himself).  



Auf jeden Fall, weiter erwägen Sie die angenommene ĂĽbereinstimmung, die gerade vor diesem Fall,  die Mutter des angespornten Kindes I wuĂźte einmal; daĂź, beim Erwarten meiner Ankunft behauptet, sie geschah , der Boden neben dem Kasernel zu gehen: * und, angetroffen einer ziemlich eindrucksvollen Frau, die, einschlieĂźlich ihren Sturzhelm war, garbed völlig im Rot (In any event, further ponder the supposed coincidence, that just prior to this event,  the mother of the inspired child I once knew; claimed that while awaiting my arrival she happened to walk the grounds adjacent to the Kasernel:* and there, encountered a quite impressive woman who, including her helmet was entirely garbed in red).   Anscheinend und ohne Fanfare, hatte sie seine gesicherten Gatter herausgenommen und sofort anfing, sich ihr zu nähern (Ostensibly and without fanfare, she had exited its secured gates and immediately began to approach her).”



“Peter, some water please…hahh…good…are we still recording?  Good.  Where was I?  



“Oh yes, now I remember.  Logically, at first sight she thought the woman to be a participant in the games as her manner of dress was decidedly reminiscent to the ancient warriors of the period to which the Fuhrer had sought to replicate. Rationally, she thought the woman, would simply continue onward, to move past her and on into the stadium, there to make her grand entry.   She was soon to learn that was not entirely to be the case, that while the woman would indeed enter the stadium, it would entirely be for another reason.



"Ihr Geistessojourn unerwartet beendet wenn zahlreiches anderes ähnlich, obwohl völlig schwarze plattierte Formen, plötzlich erschienen, wenn Sie… einfach werden, scheinbar verwirklichend… aus von der dünnen Luft heraus (Her mental sojourn abruptly ended when numerous other similarly, though entirely black clad forms, suddenly appeared, if you will…simply materializing… seemingly from out of thin air). Von jeder möglichen Richtung, die sie unerwartet soundlessly sie kamen, bildete Rank und grenzte warily die nähernde Frau an; ein ungefähr Third zu jeder Seite, mit dem Rest vigilantly nach Klage ( From every possible direction they came, abruptly, soundlessly, they formed ranks and warily flanked the approaching woman; approximately a third to either side, with the remainder vigilantly following suit).



"Sie merkte, daĂź die schwarzen stahlhelms, die sie trugen, war besonders ungewöhnlich in der, während jede schien, in hohem Grade poliert zu werden, das in der frĂĽhen Morgensonne, nicht, man reflektierte einen einzelnen Strahl des Tageslichtes.  (She noted that the black stahlhelms they wore were particularly unusual in that while each appeared to be highly polished, that in the early morning sun, not one reflected a single ray of sunlight).  Ominöser, diese jede Sturzhelmausbohrung ein undurchdringliches, zum der schwarzen glasslike Frontplatte anzuvisieren  (More ominously, that each helmet bore an impenetrable to sight black glasslike faceplate). Was mehr ist, während jedes vollständig das Trägergesicht von der Ansicht undeutlich machte, wenn Sie durch die Morgensonnen angeschlagen werden, beleuchten Sie, das verschwundene Tageslicht und war nach ihnen verloren. (What is more, while each completely obscured the wearers face from view, when struck by the morning suns light, the sunlight vanished and was lost upon them). Nr. das ist… das Licht verschwand nicht… sie schwört falsch, daĂź das Licht innen gezogen wurde. (No, that is incorrect…the light did not vanish…she swears that the light was pulled in).



Faszinierend war es mit einer bestimmten Richtung der Vorahnung, der Freida dann die Frau und ihre Kohorten Geheime Staatspolizei nachprĂĽfte und dachte (Intriguingly, it was with a certain sense of foreboding that she then reconsidered and thought the woman and her cohorts Geheime Staatspolizei).



“The reason Peter was simple, it was because as the formidable woman approached, she called to her by name.   She…how impersonal…all these years I have not spoken her name…partially out of fear, but most, out of regret.  You must realize it is with a promise, that I turned her against me.    She…Freida…was not impersonal…just the opposite; she wearily trusted and in turn … lost much.

 

“In any event, later that morning, along with her son, we met, and she tearfully recounted her experience, claiming that as she turned to run the woman again called to her and forcefully ordered her to, “Halt.” Die, die sie schnell verbunden hatten, umgaben sie und wendeten sofort an Gesicht weg von den zwei; Störung anscheinend verhindern (Those who had joined her quickly surrounded her and immediately turned to face away from the two; ostensibly to prevent interference).   Er war offensichtlich, dieses die, die auch der Nordabschnitt des olympischen Dorfs schritten, das sofort auf ihren vorher gewählten Weg gedreht wurde , um das Ereignis zu vermeiden; RĂĽtteln ihrer Köpfe, wie sie an hinter gingen (It was evident, that those who also strode the North Section of the Olympic Village immediately turned on their previously chosen path to avoid the incident; shaking their heads as they walked on past).  



As the cadre moved closer, the crimson mitra^ of the leader moved with ease was in no way enc-umbered by the well-defined and equally elaborate red cuirass she wore.  It was likewise complemented by each of her perignemis, perimerides, peribraxionios, perixerdia and perisfyra. ^^



Without a word, the formidable woman who had called to her quickly came to stand before her and towered well above Freida’s own distinctive two meter height.  Instinctively, she looked up and swears that through the faceplate, she could see the woman’s eyes emerge to burn red with rage as she looked only at her when she spoke, “Verstehen Sie das in der Spotterei des Momentes, wie die Fackel beleuchtete ist, Reaper von Seelen kommt an und von denen, die mich namentlich zusammenrufen wĂĽrden, nur wenige entgehen, obwohl keine unscathed bleiben (Understand that in the moment’s mockery, as the torch is lit, the Reaper of Souls arrives and of those who would summon me by name, only few shall escape, though none shall remain unscathed). Dort ĂĽber der abgenutzten Stelle, stehe ich auch an schauend; wie alle, die Sieg hageln, wie ihre Idole fallen; dann mit unfelt Note, sollen Sie I Markierung vom Schwergewicht der Toten, die sehr wenigen, die gehen wieder sollen (There, above the fray, I too shall stand looking on; as all who hail victory as their idols fall; then with unfelt touch, shall I mark from the preponderance of the dead, the very few, who shall walk again).  Heute von denen, die wenigen gewählt werden, die Sie treffen, versöhnen weniger noch in der Zeit;  als MuĂź wir (Today, of those chosen few whom you shall meet, fewer still shall in time reconcile;  as must we).



The woman in red, stiffened, immediately lifted her right hand and snapped her fingers twice, whereupon, from behind the cordon, another, who held in his hands a parcel, at once stepped forward, and then literally placed it in her hands while speaking the following to her in French, “Madame, je te prĂ©sente un cadeau unique comme marque de bonne volontĂ©.  Elle est pour votre bienfaiteur, Ă  temps, toi car il comprendra (Madam, I present to you a unique gift as a token of good will.  It is for your benefactor, in time, you as he will understand).”



“Peter, she claims that she merely gazed at the parcel but for a moment and then to her amazement, those who surrounded her, as well as the woman, had vanished.  She found herself standing alone, holding the parcel and crying. Then, as others tittered while they walked past her, she read the accompanying meticulously, handwritten card…Peter…the parcel was specifically addressed to me.  Shortly thereafter, hesitantly, she offered it to me, fearing that for some reason that I would be unhappy and offhandedly reject it.  I assured her, regardless of its contents, that I was touched.  How could I be otherwise?  Admittedly, upon first sight…I was not displeased.   How could I be?   Why would I?



 â€śIn turn, I sought to reciprocate but she most graciously declined, preferring instead that I give her son, Joachem, something in her stead.  Reluctantly, I relented, and hastily purchased from an itinerant vendor what I considered a marvelous carousel.  To my delight, the boy, Joachem, was enamored with it.



At last, Peter, by the look on your face, I have intrigued you. However, there is more.  Several of the horses, which when the carousel was engaged, moved up and down.  On one in particular, a black one, appeared the slight engraving of the artisan’s last name who fashioned the mechanism.  To my astonishment, years later, I learned that Joachem, for some unfathomable reason, had etched his initials in part over the artisan’s last name; thus in part obscuring it.  



Now, Peter, listen closely, the name of the artisan who created the carousel is the same as that which is written on the card accompanying her gift to me. The authenticities of both the invaluable piece I had received and the card’s signature have both long since been verified as authentic; though the card has been locked away in my safe, here at home, for over twenty years.  It is in a solitary brown packet.  The packet also contains several, exceptional photographs which different cameras took that same day.   When each roll was developed, I first thought each picture strangely marred but on closer inspection, in comparison, I noted the negatives of each. If you desire to look, they will reveal more.   When I leave study them yourself then decide if I am delusional.



Nevertheless, as for the card, I will spare you the initial effort and reveal its contents.  The first portion specifically reads, “Zu Werhner Maximillian:  A Geschenk, von [[the]] Kinder von [[the]] Verengt” (To Werhner Maximillian:  A Gift, from the Children of the Narrows).”  Peter, I personally researched the artisan who upon request made the piece especially for me.  His name is identical to that found on the carousel, which I supposedly so capriciously purchased. I would conclude Peter that you note the remainder of the cards inscription, so meticulously penned concludes with, “Mit Mein Besondere Ergänzungen, Monsieur Nicolas Bion (With My Specific Complements, Monsieur Nicolas Bion).”   Peter… Bion; died over two hundred and forty six years ago.

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*Kasernal-the forbidden term of the barracks bordering the Olympics.

^mitra...a short skirt made for fighting

^^gnemis=knimis ....these are greaves or armored shin guards worn.   perimerides...the armor which covers the thighs and quadriceps.

peribraxionios ...the armor which covers the forearms

perixerdia...the armor which encapsulates the shoulders down to elbow), perisfyra...specialty armr for the ankles.

[teddi]

“Of course, the salient if not essential implication is obvious and eliminates the mere precognition of a child; specifically, that the information necessary to construct the piece originated from a point in future time and was in some manner relayed by another to an artisan; one well beyond the grave.  Und jetzt ist der fragende Blick auf Ihrem Gesicht von mir, still verlangen „, wie ist er möglich?“  (And now the quizzical look on your face is silently demanding of me, “How is it possible)?”   Meine Antwort ist,   „annehmen ihn einfach gerad, weil sie ist. (My reply is forthright, simply accept it because it is).



 â€śAndernfalls wie sonst wĂĽrden Sie sie erklären?  (Otherwise, how else would you explain it)?  Sie können nicht.  (You cannot.)  Es besteht auch und dort nachweisbar hängt es verschoben in meinem BĂĽro, damit alle zwar keine, auĂźer Ihnen sehen und I, begreift die zutreffende Natur seines Ursprung: daĂź es eine auĂźerordentliche Geschenk-, irgendwie buchstäblich umgearbeitete und gelieferteĂĽberzeit ist (It too exists and there, verifiably, it hangs suspended in my office for all to see though none, except for you and I, comprehends the true nature of its origin: that it is an extraordinary gift, somehow literally fashioned and delivered over time).



“Understand, at first, that I had incorrectly equated it to the pen, yet as I have stated, I had partially reconciled the error of my logic. The pen itself was not unique as there were three: identically fashioned from a distinctive blade of war, now carried by an entity that too exists. However, as I sat, I was still mindful that the entire event still lacked a common denominator:  the factor upon which all revolved.  



“Auf jeden Fall war es dann, daĂź ich widerwillig bis zum Urlaub stieg (In any event, it was then that I grudgingly rose up to leave). Uberhaupt so zögernd im Moment, schaute ich noch einmal zu ihr, aber seine Zeit suchte, schlieĂźlich ĂĽber ihren erschreckenden Augen hinaus zu blicken möglicherweise wenn nur während eines (Ever so hesitantly in the instant, I looked once more to her, but his time sought to at last peer beyond her frightening eyes, perhaps, if only for a moment, to the features of her face:  thinking perchance to closer glean an understanding of her features; those that lay behind the lightning).



“Wieder, dachte mich ich ein Kind, das sich fand, hinunter das stairwell am Weihnachten zu stehlen, um einen Blick des verbotenen Momentes gefangenzunehmen (Again, I thought myself a child who found himself stealing down the stairwell at Christmas to capture a glimpse of the forbidden moment).   Jedoch, anstelle vom elterlichen Vorwurf, war ich mit einem leichtesten Lächeln ĂĽberrascht, und bemerkenswert, anstelle vom Feuer, strahlte sie Augen ein weiches aus und mildert, kommt-hither goldenes Licht         (However, instead of parental reproach, I was surprised with a most gentle smile, and remarkably, instead of fire, her eyes emitted a soft and gentle, come-hither golden light).  An diesem Moment wurde ich ein Kind, das den Komfort und den Trost einer Note suchte (At that moment, I became a child who sought the comfort and the solace of a touch).  Scheinbar, blieb ich im flĂĽchtigen Moment und wĂĽrde meine Augen geschlossen haben und an der MĂĽhelosigkeit im Trost geschlafen, während sie auch ĂĽber mich aufpaĂźte (Seemingly, I dwelled in the fleeting moment and would have closed my eyes and slept at ease in solace while she too watched over me).



“Ausgenommen… auĂźer daĂź fĂĽr so viele Jahre, hatte ich mich mein Leben Wissenschaft gewidmet, stellte ich, daĂź der Abgrund zwischen uns offenkundig und… bedauernd nicht können war so tun fest.  (Except...except that for so many years, I had devoted my life to science, I realized that the chasm between us was manifest and regretfully…failed to do so.  Verständlich die Störung war meine, da der Golf von Menschlichkeitunantastbarkeit mich plötzlich tormented und wurde ängstlich von, was gelegt ĂĽber meinem hinaus oder von unserem Common, Sterblichkeit (Understandably, the fault was mine, as the gulf of humanities intangibility suddenly tormented me, becoming fearful of what lay beyond my or of our common, mortality).  Erklärte ich Ihnen Peter ĂĽberhaupt, sie habe ein schönstes Lächeln; das ist, wenn Sie hinter ihr Augen schauen und sie nicht Sie erschrecken lassen?  (Did I ever tell you Peter, she has a most beautiful smile; that is if you look past her eyes and do not allow them to frighten you)?  



“Seien Sie, daĂź, wie es kann, es an diesem sehr Moment war, daĂź I gefunden irgendwie buchstäblich stehend auĂźerhalb der TĂĽr, die heraus an zur StraĂźe schaut, beim innen starring Faszination an den zwei Formen äuĂźern Sie, die Hand-in-Hand entlang die Schmutzschulter der StraĂźe in Richtung zu mir gingen.  (Be that as it may, it was at that very moment, that I found myself somehow literally standing outside the door looking out on to the street while starring in utter fascination at the two forms which walked hand in hand along the dirt shoulder of the road towards me). Da sie ihre Weise bildeten zu, der ich stand, starrte ich in betäubtem Erfassen an:  die Gesichter einer auffallenden jungen Frau und gleichmäßig erkennen, wenn nicht so, schönes Kind, das die Weise fĂĽhrte (As they made their way to where I stood, I stared in stunned comprehension:  recognizing the faces of both a striking young woman and of an equally, if not more so, beautiful child who led the way).  Dort die frequentierenden Bilder von Freida und von Joachem näherten sich; jedoch vom zwei nur Freidas erheblich ausgesehen (There the haunting images of both Freida and Joachem approached; however, of the two only Freida’s appeared substantial). Sofort, wurde die Gleichung solvable und welche Furcht ich… verschwunden hielt.   Die Quelle des Lebens… ging… aber nicht alleine.  Die Inspiration der Vollendung… war nahe und zur Hand beide.  Dennoch von den zwei, lebte nur man im Moment, während das andere fröhlich in das Sonne licht ging (Instantly, the equation became solvable and what fear I held…vanished.   The source of life…walked…but not alone.  The inspiration of accomplishment…was both close and at hand.  Yet of the two, only one lived in the moment, while the other merrily walked through the suns light).



“Dad, excuse me, but why in the hell are you speaking in riddles to me now?  Can’t you just get to the point?  I mean…I mean…dammit you’re exasperating…sometimes.  Look, why don’t we just stop for the day and I’ll give you your medicine.  O.K?  Dad?  Dad?! Dad…please, how…”



“Temper temper…I will not take what you offer…nor can you make me, so there.   As for my supposed riddle, if you had allowed me the courtesy to finish I would have explained.  Well?  Do you want me to explain or are you going to go and stand off in a huff and sulk?  Well?”



“You know, sometimes dad you’re impossible.”



“Yes, at times, aren’t we all?  In any event, as I was stating before I was so rudely interrupted by my son, whom I love, and would do anything for…and have…mostly…but why make you feel guilty about all that…especially now that I am...”



Dad!  If you’re not trying to, you’re doing one hell’va job of it. O.K. O.K. have it your way, just stop grinning at me it’s spooky.  I mean it just like you’ve seen a…a



“A Ghost? No, Peter, not a ghost:  Her.  She is here and waiting for me.  Now hush there is little time left to me…so be patient…I am nearly at an end.



“Now where was I…yes…I remember before you interrupted me…the young woman whose name is in part Athena walked and most obviously cast a shadow.  The child who accompanied her also walked in the suns light, yet he did not; the light passed directly through him.  Of the two, only her shadow was discernible.  Therefore, she lived in the moment while the child, though observable to the naked eye, was but an inspiration…ergo, he had yet to enter this world.  There, are you satisfied?”



“Dad, whatever you say is…”



“Peter, my entire life I have not chased rabbits down a hole nor am I as mad as the proverbial hatter, yet you continually doubt me.  Whereas my uncertainties have been dispelled, yours however are evident.   Disconsolately I would ask you to ponder a reasonable question, that of a personal desire; Peter, you would not fail me, would you?  No, do not answer the rhetorical question as I suspect the reply and the darker implications that would ensue.



 Strange, that I should think of Freida, the mother of the child whom I also protected. She too was not prone to delusions nor was she a mindless dolt; though others thought otherwise.   Regretfully, she too, as I, was acutely aware that she could not control the situation in which she found herself and that her son, much as you, had become a phenomenon of personal desire to which she was inextricably bound.  



Now, as I look back, the rancor she exhibited when I presented to her several written desires, ostensibly presented to her as mine, by which she had blindly promised to adhere to, I consider reasonable, if not justifiably logical. However, at the time, I thought them puerile, if not subject to abject misunderstanding.  Yet in reflection, I understand, that for a child in need, they were endearing, if not…



 â€śDad, please, now you’re wandering, is there any particular for..”



“For wandering…was I wandering…yes I was…but for how long…and perhaps…I was for a period of time…wasn’t I…and yes there is ample reason to stray.  Peter, if I were to ask you to make a promise, would you do so, without knowing what it was; yet, keeping in mind that I would always hold you accountable and expect you to honor it, regardless of time, despite the consequences, whether I was alive or dead.   Well now, would you?  



“Mechanically you nod your head yes …but don’t answer… merely ponder the childish questions posed, which I shall set forth, ostensibly as desires, if you will, conditions or wants; if you will, specific obligations to be met and the first is relatively simple, “Would you promise to always love me more than anyone else?  Your nod to me, of course, is understandable and between you and I, comforting, however, if it were a pledge, made to a stranger, would it be otherwise? Would you still hold fast to it and honor it?  Would you, or more to the point, could you?  



The second however, merits introspective consideration,” “If, I were someone else, would you promise to love me just as much and would you promise, cross your heart and hope to die, to never admit it to anyone else for as long as you lived?  Obviously, it is a conditional question; yet it merits a certain degree of introspective analysis of each word specifically utilized in context.   But beware; the thoughtful caveat to “you” bears a timely consideration.  



The third, “Would you promise to still love me even after you were very angry with me?” entails a query of reasonable maturity and of understanding that grudges, hurt feelings, hate, resentment or love may linger over a period of time: perhaps, hours, days, weeks, if not years,  and conceivably Peter, conceivably even transcending death itself.  If such were the case, how would you fare?  Vanquish die ewige Schwärzung der Antipathie das Licht der Neigung? (Would the eternal darkness of antipathy vanquish the light of affection)?  WĂĽrden Sie genug stark sein aufzutauchen siegreich, oder wĂĽrden Sie ausfallen? (Would you be strong enough to emerge victorious or would you fail)?



 The existential implication of the next however presupposes the knowledge of continuation beyond death and is unconditionally explicit; although childishly concise yet to some extent encompasses the previous three, “From now on, will you always keep your promises to me, forever and ever, until the end of time?  Ponder the question as a statement of fact and the logic becomes inescapable:  that somehow life itself transcends the known physical boundaries and moves into the realm of the ethereal unknown.  



Implicitly they are childish questions, yet, if agreed to unknowingly, are these vows less sacred than others made which are manifest; moreover, in time, if even one promise, albeit a nuance, is partially broken, is it irrelevant and of little consequence?



 Peter, those are the requests I penned, desires if you will, expressly for this woman:  each as spoken to me by a child whom I once sat in awe of.  However, at the time, I could not accept the obvious of what I had heard; I chose instead a less taxing conclusion.  It in part explains the secret that I have kept as well as the obvious answer to your conundrum.



Understand that long ago, in an all to brief a meeting in exchange for an unspecified object, which would pique my curiosity, I had promised Joachem that I too would keep a secret until the arrival of my death. The later now is at hand as is of no concern.  Yet the secret kept was entirely paradoxical and unknown to my other associates at that time, in that I knew more than they did.  Yet, for some reason I said nothing; that while he was indeed a most beautiful and prescient child, that he was not alone.  He continually traveled and spoke with others and while initially I thought the child beset I was in inaccurate. Peter during that meeting four of the five requests were posed in the different voices of various children. But of the four voices only one throughout was governing; the others, upon consultation, acquiesced.  



Moreover, I now presume the inspiration itself, in so many ways still a child, who has somehow adroitly orchestrated circ-umstances to suit his needs, and Joachem, to have been a necessary appendage, though of the two, the unknown yet governing inspiration, presents itself as the most intimidating if not wondrous.  The question is then posed, “Why or how would I then conclude such?”  I would plausibly reply that logic dictates the conclusion as one who is capable of moving matter if not time purposely posed each of the desires as a means to an end and has …

[teddi]

...painstakingly affected it as such.”



"Moreover, that the desires themselves were a self-serving examination of devotion:  not to me, but to a child of the future:  himself.  In effect, they were both a measure of then present and of assured future affection, not mine, anothers:  her future progeny.  In effect, structured tests of unqualified devotion, if not love itself, with a solitary goal to be met: to win her, forever.  Alternatively, he would knowlingly suffer her loss for eternity.  Remarkably, and unknown to her, the child was preparing himself for her and she for him.  Peter, to the child, the fulcrum of time is balanced upon a choice:  hers; yet the contest entered cannot be won by her.  It is only her's to lose upon one wrong answer, be it however slight.  



“Dad, wait a sec...are you trying to tell me that a kid is now pre-selecting his own mother and responsible for passing contemporary information on to some guy that’s been dead for over two hundred years and all of the other crap that you said’s happened?  Really, you can’t be serious…look let’s just call it a night and maybe you can start over in the morning with a fresh deck.  You honestly don't expect me to believe in time travel or ghosts and mythological beings that come to life and talk to you let alone one who’s standing around here now just waiting for you to kick off...crap dad!  Really now …”



“No not now, at least that is what she states...Peter, for the moment, she is, in her words, really just “looking in” on me.  Oh, she says to tell you, well, infers actually, that from the beginning life’s deck has not always been stacked.  Apart from that, she says that my time is short.  But as for the first portion of your diatribe you are mistaken, still it is fascinating that you have captured a salient nuance of her newest admonition to me in your petulant if not acerbic rebuke.  



„Dennoch, gleichwohl fein die Abstufungen ich sich bemĂĽhen, Sie zu beheben, wie das offensichtliche fĂĽr die die meisten Ihnen entgangen hat: in erster Linie bleibt das Kind nicht in dieser ära; er bleibt, selbst ein Kind der Zukunft, noch die unborn Inspiration von anderen in der Notwendigkeit in Aussicht. (Nevertheless, however fine the gradations I shall endeavor to correct you, as the obvious for the most has escaped you: first and foremost, the child does not dwell in this era; he remains in the offing, himself a child of the future, still the unborn inspiration of another in need).  Zweitens die Informationen, die Sie erkennen, wie „das Bestehen“ in groĂźem Umfang, sich zu seinem vollsten schon zu entwickeln hat; im wesentlichen bleibt bedeutende technologische Innovationen, daĂź Sie sind ahnungslos von (Secondly, the information you discern as “existing” in large measure has yet to develop to its fullest; in essence, there remains significant technological innovations that you are unaware of.)”



“Dad?  Dad, what in the hell are you driving at now?  I can’t believe that you’ve allowed yourself to fall off the deep end!  Crap dad, you’re in worse shape now than you’ve ever been!  I know your sick but …I can’t conceive that you’d allow yourself to be…”



“Peter, please…to be or not to be…is precisely the question and…conceivably…it is the crux of the matter.  For years, the pieces of the puzzle have lain before me and the subtle key to their joining had eluded me.  Now before you continue to reprove me I will explain.  May I continue, or, will you clomp off in a snit?”



“Dad, really, I don’t need to sit here and be insulted!”



„Dann vielleicht, können Sie anderwohin gehen und mit mehr Erfolg beleidigt werden?  (Then possibly, you can go elsewhere and be insulted with more success)?  Persönlich scheint es, daĂź ich hier zurĂĽckbleiben muĂź; unterworfen Ihrem drivel. (For my part, it appears that I must linger here; subjected to your drivel).  Selbstverständlich können Sie gehen…wenn nicht… bleiben Sie und sich zum Schweigen bringen Sie.  (Of course, you may leave… if not…remain and silence yourself.)”



“No, of course not, I don’t have anywhere else to go and be insulted… I mean I’ll stay here and be insulted if that’s O.K with you.  So, sure, tell me what I don’t know.  Why not…after all what’ve I got to lose?”  



“Peter… möglicherweise wĂĽrden Sie alles… verlieren, daĂź das schreckliche ist, dennoch einfach Wahrheit unspoken. (Peter…conceivably you would lose everything …that is the horrible yet simple unspoken truth).  Alles, das Sie beobachten oder nimmt wahr, oder das kann bestehen oder sollte sogar hoffen zu bestehen, ob von Ihrem Bilden oder eines anderen:  Wille hören einfach auf zu sein und niemand sind das klĂĽgere noch erinnern sich. (Everything you observe, or will perceive or that may exist, or should even hope to exist, whether of your making or another’s:  will simply cease to be and no one will be the wiser nor remember).  



“In diesem Universum, ist es, als ob Sie oder ich nie oder jedermann sonst bestanden  (In this universe, it will be as if you or I never existed or anyone else). Es ist eine atemberaubende Betrachtung, zum zu erwägen:  besonders wenn alles nach einer impulsiven Laune verloren ist  (It is a breathtaking consideration to ponder:  especially, if all is lost upon an impulsive whim).  Es ist zwingend, daĂź Sie verstehen; etwas, das geschehen ist, bevor ungefähr , wieder anzufangen ist und das nach einem Antrieb alles verschwinden wĂĽrde  (It is imperative that you understand; something that has happened before is about to begin again and that upon an impulse everything would vanish).



“Bitte nehmen Sie während des Momentes die Voraussetzung an; daĂź ein lokalisiertes Kind an der Wurzel der Angelegenheit ist  (Please, accept for the moment the premise; that an isolated child is at the root of the matter).  Nehmen auch, daĂź ein einmal mythologisches Wesen jetzt besteht, selbst jetzt ein Engel an, der mich erwartet:  aber wer noch innen ist, wĂĽnschen Sie  (Accept also that a once mythological entity now exists, herself now an incorporeal angel who awaits me:  but who now is in earthly want).   Gestehen Sie zu, das, das ich der Klinge mich angesehen und berĂĽhrt habe, von der ich gerade vor kurzem von… gesprochen hatte, wie verzaubernd; dennoch noch, vermissend was es die meisten wĂĽnscht, ein rechtmäßiger Erbe  (Concede, that I have both viewed and touched the sword of which I have just recently spoken of…as being enchanted; yet still missing what it most desires, a rightful inheritor).  Jetzt da Sie ein erreichter Kursteilnehmer der Geschichte sind, entwickeln Sie den offensichtlichen AnschluĂź zwischen den drei  (Now, as you are an accomplished student of history develop the obvious connection between the three.)”



“Dad, why should I?  I mean it’s damn obvious.  Anyone familiar with Homer knows the story.  Athena was the goddess of wisdom, among other things, who gave her father a great headache…just like you’re giving me…sorry…just hadda do it.  Anyhow, she busted outta his skull with all of his knowledge, fully armored and really, really torked at him for wanting to off her before she was born.  So to make a long story short she got the dirty end of the stick and assisted in offing Hector.  As for the sword, legend claims it was lost either on the battlefield or eventually passed on and somehow wound up being used by Charlemagne.   As for the kid, you already said you observed a bond between what’s his name and a pen, which you claim, was fashioned from a portion the same sword.   So if I had to guess the sword and the boy are somehow related.  Well, am I close?”



“Bezogen?  Warum, ja selbstverständlich sie in vielen Weisen bezogen werden; besonders durch Blut  (Related?  Why, yes of course they are related in many ways; especially, by blood).  Ich bin erfreut an Ihrer Extrapolation, fortfahre (I am pleased at your extrapolation, continue.)”



“So the bigger question is what the hell is the relationship between the boy and your new found interest…Athena…who you claim is in the room and waiting for you.  Dad…I hate to break this to you…but look around…there’s no one else in this room except for you and me and why the hell are you smiling up at me?”



„Peter zuerst lächele ich oben nicht an Ihnen, die ich an ihr lächele; sowie an Ihrem Mangel an Erfahrung, genau, Ihren Mangel am Verstehen  (Peter, first, I am not smiling up at you I am smiling at her; as well as at your lack of experience, more precisely, your lack of understanding).  Sollten Sie wissen, daĂź, wenn etwas nicht gesehen wird, es nicht bedeutet, daĂź es nicht besteht:  surreptitiousness ist in den meisten Fällen nicht angekĂĽndigt  (You should know, that if something is not seen it does not mean that it does not exist:  surreptitiousness is for the most part unannounced).  Glaube an das Unbekannte, unseen, ist auch allein ein unberĂĽhrbarer Bruch des Lebens  (Belief in the unknown, the unseen, is too, in and of itself, an intangible fraction of life).  



“But, perhaps you are not up to the task and it would be better if a more experienced individual who is less inclined to emotionalism replace you?   Of course, it is short notice.  But as I now appear to be an imposition to you, perhaps….



“Dad…you’re impossible.”



 â€žJa haben wir das vorher bestätigt. (Yes we have acknowledged that previously).  Now hush.  Be a good boy, let me finish?  The link you spoke of, between the pen and the boy is palpable as each individually shares a harmony with the other.  After all, they are, as you have discerned related:  by blood. Sie teilen auch eine Allgemeinheit; die Waffe ist zum Jungen, wie sie zum Vater war, der sie ausĂĽbte  (They too share a commonality; the weapon is to the boy as it was to the father who wielded it). Ist es rechtmäßig seins; verstehen Sie meine Andeutung?  (It is rightfully his; do you understand my intimation)?



“No way!  You’re telling me that this kid Joachem is the heir, no, screw that…that he’s connected to Hector?”  



“In part, yes.  However, there are others.  Moreover, each wordlessly acknowledges the other as similarly exclusive:  each as identical living singularities that have only been separated by years.”  



“Dad, that’s a load of gibberish.  You’re talking about a kid…no… more than one kid…who is exceptionally unique but who also is hypothetically able to work through time and space?”



„Bin ich?  Wenn so, sind Sie dann Sie andeutend, daĂź eine cognizant Eigenheit, unabhängig davon Alter, Raum und Zeit zusammendrĂĽcken kann, nicht nur unendlich verzerrt zu werden, aber wer auch Gruppen die Fähigkeit, die Umstände der Zeit selbst zu ändern?  (Am I?  If so, are you then you implying that a cognizant singularity, regardless of age, may compress space and time to become not only infinitely distorted, but also posses the ability to change the circ-umstances of time itself)?  Sie brauchen, nicht dich zu betreffen, da Sie in der Annahme zu einer rhetorischen Frage korrekt sind  (You need not concern yourself, as you are correct in the assumption to a rhetorical question).



„Ist es das Wesentliche von, was ich zuerst innerhalb der Confines meiner ersten paradoxen Sitzung betrachtet hatte:  nach Eingang Athene und während die Phantomkinder der verschiedenen MaĂźe bis eins anders sprachen, wurde das die Wahrheit ziemlich unschuldig offensichtlich; die identische ĂĽbereinstimmung von wĂĽnschen fĂĽr jedes nach links wenig zur Phantasie; an weniger Grube  (It is the essence of what I had initially considered within the confines of my first paradoxical meeting:  following Athena’s entrance and while the phantom children of diverse dimensions spoke to one another, that the truth quite innocently became evident; the identical consistency of want for each left little to the imagination; at least mine).  



„Wie, dort faszinierend, das, in einem Wagen, I,  der Selbst-proklamierte Mann der Wissenschaft hörte; er hörte die unberĂĽhrbaren Versprechungen, die durch jedes zur anderen gebildet wurden, während sie besprochen wurden; während die Verpflichtungen, und die Konsequenzen dort von diesem getroffen zu werden folgen wĂĽrden, waren auch dutifully betrachtet und ausgeglichen, als erkanntes jedes die entscheidenden Kosten des Ausfalls  (How fascinating, that there, in a carriage, I,  the self-proclaimed man of science…listened; hearing the intangible promises made by each to the other as they were discussed; while the obligations to be met and the consequences there from that would ensue, were also dutifully considered and counterbalanced, as each recognized the ultimate cost of failure).



"The primary issue voiced by each, within their spectral debate, focused upon one resounding note; the emptiness of the life each had found:  that instead of warmth, there was but cold and to each, in place of understanding, there was contempt; however, more importantly, that the waking childhood dreams of each were without fulfillment.  Instead, the dreams themselves had become a frightful party to the forthcoming emptiness that sought to consume them.  



“Moreover, that each wore not only the many misfortunes of his own existence, as one would a winter coat, but had diligently assumed the mantle of the others as well and that to either of them, a simple touch or lack there of spoke volumes in but one word:  pariah.  So adorned, together, as paupers, they moved through time while holding to each other as perpetual brothers-in- arms.



"Peter, I use the analogy purposely as the unspoken bond between them left little to the imagination.   It, the bond of loyalty, consumes them to the exclusion of all else and unless the cycle is broken, what has happened before shall occur again.  It is the darker side of the equation to which I alluded and to which the Schutzstaffelor were quick to note, that within the ultimate beauty of the child also dwells the unbridled fury of the…

[teddi]

“…ever-brooding soul:   ein das nach einem jähen Gedanken so in beträchtlichem AusmaĂź bevollmächtigt könnte es und wĂĽrde die Welt ändern  (one so empowered that upon a precipitous thought it could and would change the world).  Die SS hielten das Kind einschlieĂźlich Schönheit und das Tier; schlieĂźlich sogar hatte er sich passend an seinem Kern des Besitzens das integrale Qualität beschrieben, die sie suchten; und welchen Monstern sie meinten, er von den Tiefen der Hölle terrify andere waren selbst reichliche Rechtfertigung fĂĽr ihr mehr als konstantes Interesse zusammenriefen  (The SS considered the child inclusively as both beauty and the beast; after all, even he had suitably described himself at his core of possessing that integral quality which they sought; and what monsters they deemed he summoned from the depths of hell to terrify others was itself ample justification for their more than constant interest).



“Moreover, they had accurately discerned that his unrequited love, to which he had alluded to offhandedly on several occasions, if manipulated correctly would make them in effect, invincible.   Consequently, they concluded with certainty, that so nurtured by them, he would become their definitive weapon.  Suspiciously, nahm ich sie, beide wahr, die kombiniert wurden, als furchterregendes eine Kraft, wie erdenklich  (Suspiciously, I perceived them, both combined, as a fearsome a force as imaginable).  



“Peter…a tissue please…you must understand he was considered…thank you…an extraordinary child, but only an “instrument” of wonder:  however he was “conditionally acceptable.”  Take from my initial analogy what you will:  to them, he was but a tool, not only a justifiable means to an end:  but a distinctive device to be used.  As for his being…conditionally acceptable…you have no idea the connotation it carries; nor, in retrospect, of what it meant.  

 

“It meant…Peter…a moment…another tissue if you will, my thanks…that both he and his mother would be allowed to live, if; he would diligently serve the Reich’s thousand-year march and if he did not manifestly pose a threat to the Reich.  However, they dismissed outright the patently latent perils he posed:  the ability to see through time and manipulate its circ-umstances.  Despite the contradictions, they persisted to press the child hoping that he would blindly kowtow to their desires.



“AuĂźerdem nach dem Befehl, diesem wurde er selbst, seine Mutter sich zu entledigen, wie sie Treffen beim Lebensborns hatte geprĂĽft zu sein frequentierte und ich das Wort vorsichtig verwende:  unproduktiv  (Moreover, upon command, that he himself would, dispose of his mother, as her frequented encounters at the Lebensborn’s had proved to be, and I use the word cautiously:  unproductive).   After her eradication, he would willingly submit, without question, to the will of the state to which even his physical appearance, in time, with certain procedures could be and would be altered. Die Direktion, dennoch waren zugrundeliegende Implikationen dieses kluge Geschlecht, war er zu auffallend ein Kind attraktiv, zum ein Junge zu sein; und folglich mangels des dauerhaften Schrammens  (The principal, yet underlying implication was that gender wise, he was too strikingly attractive a child to be a boy; and thus in need of permanent scarring).  



“However, regardless of his initial appearance, the SS coveted the child, as no other; presumptuously justifying that with time; his heart would be theirs, as would his impressive and wide-ranging talents.  Indem sie warteten, vermuteten sie, er wĂĽrden gedreht, um ihre Notwendigkeiten zu dienen; infolgedessen, widersprechen das Instrument des plötzlichen und unerklärlichen Todes zu allen in der Opposition oder darin mit warden  (By waiting, they surmised, he would be turned to serve their needs; consequently becoming the instrument of sudden and inexplicable death to all in opposition or therein conflict with). Interessierten entlieĂźen sich sie wenig fĂĽr seine Tugend und sie und vermuteten, daĂź in der Zeit, sie auch, vermindern wĂĽrde:  das Feststellen, daĂź schlieĂźlich, er sie sich selbst bereitwillig entledigen wĂĽrde und er, als sie, wĂĽrden ihrem wĂĽnschen erliegen, selbst werden das Opfer des feigen Wunsches  (They cared little for his virtue, dismissing it, surmising that in time, it too, would diminish:  concluding that eventually, he would willingly dispose of it himself, and he, as it, would succ-umb to their wants, itself becoming the prey of craven desire).



“So gefangengenommen innerhalb ihrer Schwärzung wĂĽrde es kein Entweichen geben; und so verleitet, wie mit schmecken Bonbons zuerst, wĂĽrde er sich bereitwillig verleiten.  SchlieĂźlich wĂĽrde er das symbolische Plakat die eugenic Nachkommen des Reichs preisend werden:  das Wunderkind, die Wunderwaffe, des Reichs…der universal soldat…Ihr Universalsoldat.  (So captured within their darkness there would be no escape; and enticed, as with a sweets first taste, he would willingly entrap himself.  Eventually, he would become the emblematic placard extolling the eugenic progeny of the Reich:  the wonder child, the ultimate wonder weapon, of the Reich…the universal soldier…their universal soldier).



,,Jedoch waren alle ihre rĂĽcksichtsvollen Zusammenfassungen und in der ernsten Störung specious  (However, all their considerate conclusions were specious and in grave error).  Was auftrat, war das Entgegengesetzte; es war er, der sie verleitete, anbietengeschnĂĽrte StĂĽckchen, die Brotkrumen der Zeit, zu denen, die folgen wĂĽrden.   Das kleine wuĂźte irgendwie mehr als alles  (What occurred was the opposite; it was he who entrapped them, offering laced morsels, the breadcrumbs of time, to those who would follow.   The little one somehow knew more than everything).  



,,Verstehen Sie, was ich andeute; er kannte nicht nur alles und Speiche der fristgerechten Sachen, als ob sie die weltlichen Tatsachen waren, von denen, schon aufzutreten hatte; aber hatte auch auf gewisse Weise, sie beeinfluĂźt  (Do you understand what I am implying; he not only knew everything and spoke of timely things as if they were the mundane facts of which had yet to occur; but had also in some manner, influenced them). Die Dummköpfe bestanden das fort offensichtliche nie, betrachtend:  daĂź in der Wirklichkeit, er jedes von ihnen wuĂźte, lange zuvor sie sich kannten  (The fools persisted never considering the obvious:  that in reality, he knew each of them long before they knew themselves).  Whatever plans they made for themselves involving the child were the manipulated dandling* illusions of countless possibilities:  his own.”



“Dad?  I’m sorry to interrupt you, again, but, a question or two, please?   Look, I don’t understand a couple of things so help me out here.  First, I’m really sorry for what I said before alright because I know this whole thing means a lot to you, but something doesn’t add up.  Why you?  I mean it seems like you wound up acting more or less like a stepfather to this child.  But if the boys dead why are you doing this?  I mean you’re going to all of this trouble to be so precise, it’s as if you somehow still owe him something.  Well?”



“I would reply to your preliminary question with the following, it is because I promised the child that I would to do so and I will keep my promise to him despite my current circ-umstances.”



“O.K. so you promised.  But dad, the boy’s dead.  How in the hell is he going to ever know? Besides, how’d you hear about him â€�cause you said you’d been looking at his works before you even met him and secondly how’d you manage to set up that incidental meeting at the train station and don’t tell me that the SS, or Jodl, or Stellrecht set it up because I know better!  



„Hmpph, tun Sie Sie?  Lassen Sie mich zuerst mich erklären hörte nicht ĂĽber ihn.  Zweitens klagte ich keine solche Sitzung an  (Hmpph, you do do you?  Let me clarify, first, I did not hear about him.  Secondly, I arraigned no such meeting). And lastly, there are two means by which the child will discern:  the first is if I do as I promised; the second will be if I do not.  The SS and Gestapo…



“Dad, your not going to sit there and tell me that the SS and Gestapo arraigned that meeting for you are you, I don’t…



“Ich besagt keine solche Sache und ich sagten nie, daĂź „gebetenes I“ ich?  Der gemeinsame Antrag war von Keitel und von Jodl in Zusammenarbeit mit den SS und dem Gestapo  (I said no such thing and I never said “I” asked did I?  The joint request was from both Keitel and Jodl in cooperation with the SS and Gestapo).  Mit Stellrechts, lĂĽftet der beträchtliche Eingang, der mich autorisiert, das Kind auĂźen zu treffen, ich wurde bewilligt nicht nur Zugang aber projiziert auch Steuerung  (With Stellrechts, considerable input authorizing me to meet the child without airs, I was not only granted access but also project control).  Der Ausgangs antrag fĂĽr die Sitzung war am GeheiĂźe von anderen; der Reihe nach bewilligte es mir Zugang zu seinen Arbeiten und begleitend, die Gelegenheit, mit dem Wundernkind zu beraten  (The initial request for the meeting was at the behest of another; in turn it granted me access to his works, and concomitantly, the opportunity to consult with the wonder-child.)  From that point on let’s say that nature took its course.”



“So then you ARE telling me that you arraigned the meeting at the train station, aren’t you?”



“No, I am telling you no such thing.”



“Dad…look…if you didn’t arrange it and the SS or Gestapo didn’t…then…then…who in the hell did?”



“Peter, wenn die restliche Alternative zur Gleichung die einzige Antwort, unabhängig davon die Möglichkeit ist, jedoch farfetched, muĂź es unterhalten werden.   Es war der Junge (Peter, if the remaining alternative to the equation is the only answer, regardless of possibility, however farfetched, it must be entertained.   It was the boy).  Don’t look so surprised, how else would you, without the minutiae, understand the scope of deception which took place.  Sit back and listen.”



“Die SS und das Gestapo wurden zuerst dem Bestehen des Jungen durch eine Reihe angenommene ĂĽbereinstimmungen bewuĂźt; das erste von, welchem sein Ausgangsc$skizzieren war von, was später war, benannt zu werden das Horten 229; ein FliegenflĂĽgel, Heimlichkeitbomber, der im Aussehen dem gegenwärtigen Projekt ähnelt, sind wir geheim in miteinbezogen worden.  (The SS and Gestapo first became aware of the boy’s existence through a series of supposed coincidences; the first of which was his initial sketching of what was later to be termed the Horten 229; a flying wing, stealth bomber, which in appearance resembles the current project we have secretly been involved with).  AuĂźerdem wĂĽrde es zur königlichen Luftwaffe „unsichtbar“sein  (Moreover, it would be “invisible” to the Royal Air Force).  Vornehmlich war es besser als alles funktionsfähige Flugzeug, das wir herauf bis jetzt gehabt haben  (Notably, it was even better than all operational aircraft we have had up until now).  



“You lean closer perhaps anticipating more?  On this matter, I will not disappoint you...allow me.



“The initial sketch, which came to their attention, was purposely left on a park bench inside a particular aviary.  The keeper of the aviary “found” it and in turn presented it to the zoo’s curator who immediately notified the Gestapo.   Shortly thereafter, another sketch was likewise discovered. Selbstverständlich danach hatte das Gestapo wenig MĂĽhe, wenn er den KĂĽnstler „entdeckte“, der sie gezeichnet hatte  (Of course, thereafter, the Gestapo had little trouble in “discovering” the artist who had drawn them).   It was Joachem…but then again unknown to them…he had a certain amount of help.



“At first, quite naturally to them, it appeared impossible that a child could or would be the source of the imaginative super weapons that were now laid out before them.  Not content with the child’s veracity, they supplied him with drawing materials:  several pieces of artists paper, pencils, colored crayons and the like; then demanded that he prove the works were indeed his.  He was more than happy to comply.  So, while his mother sat in an office upstairs, die Dummköpfe legten ihn „alleine“ in einen fensterlosen Raum, während einer auf einer PrĂĽfung wurde  (...the fools placed him “alone” in a windowless room as one would on an examination).    How shortsighted of them to assume the obvious; that a small child left crying alone in a windowless basement  interrogation room at Gestapo Headquarters, would be anything other than “all alone.”  



“They locked him inside then posted sentries with stern orders to admit none until relieved by Keitel himself.  Keitel arrived hours later dismissing his tardiness offhandedly, quipping “I have better things to concern myself with than this.”  



„Als Keitel, das Gestapo und der Schutz kamen die Zelle, die der Junge seine grĂĽnen Augen schloĂź und lächelten, während der Druck seins in Richtung zu ihnen arbeitet  (As Keitel, the Gestapo and the guards entered the cubicle the boy closed his bright green eyes and smiled while pushing his works towards them).  All approached laughing but at first glance, it was Keitel who immediately ordered silence and for the sentries to withdraw immediately and re-post themselves while also directing the Gestapo official to immediately notify the Reich Chancellor.



,,Dort auf der Tabelle, zu ihrem äuĂźern Sie Verwunderung, sie fand, daĂź er andere verschiedene Arbeiten skizziert hatte  (There on the table, to their utter amazement, they found that he had sketched other various works).  Er beschriftete jedes separat als Wunderwaffe… der Zukunft  (He labeled each separately as a wonder weapon…of the future).  Ungeheuere bewegliche Kanonen, propellerless raketenangetriebenes Flugzeug und diagrammed grundlegende Gleichungen von atomics zusätzlich zum Aussehen der realen und synthetischen Polymer-Plastik Ketten, die eine Heimlichkeitfähigkeit zu einem Unterseeboot zur VerfĂĽgung stellen wĂĽrden  (Monstrous mobile cannons, propellerless rocket propelled aircraft and the diagrammed basic equations of atomics in addition to the appearance of both real and synthetic polymer chains which would provide a stealth capability to a submarine).



Of course what particularly struck and had enticed Keitel were the various rocket designs. Verständlich, stelle mich ich vor, visiere anfangs an, daĂź sie veritably geiferten an, was auf die Tabelle legen; selbst wenn das Los von ihnen nicht ScheiĂźe vom shinola kannte  (Understandably, I imagine, at first sight, that they veritably drooled at what lay on the table; even if the lot of them didn’t know shit from shinola).  As one would expect, they repeated the testing process several times over with similar results; each time it resulted in more enticing information.  But without explanation on many of his sketches, he had additionally in part scribbled portions of my name and then proceeded to sign them off to me as a “gift” from another.



„Da Sie erwarten wĂĽrden, Keitel und das Gestapo fragten das Kind, separat und zusammen, aber in einer sehr entspannten Weise selbstverständlich  (As you would expect, Keitel and the Gestapo questioned the child, both separately and together, but in a very relaxed manner of course).  â€śThe rocket sketches provided,” he said, “are for one Werhner Maximillian, and are to be considered his own.”   “After all,” he continued, “Werhner Maximillian is “recommended” by the voices of the unseen angels who speak and visit me on a daily basis.”  



“Despite the absolute shock on their faces, from that moment on, with the broadest of grins he became adamant. Hartnäckig, behielt er bei, daĂź er sie ausfĂĽhrlich nur mit mir besprechen wĂĽrde; weil es ich war, wĂĽrde er „vertraut“ und „ verhandeln ohne anderen  (Insistently, he maintained that he would discuss them at length only with me; because it was I, he “trusted” and “would bargain with no other)."  



,,Das hörend, weder, waren Keitel noch das Gestapo erfreut, aber noch setzten sie voraus, daĂź ihr GlĂĽck in der Tat der Arbeitsbeweis der Devine Intervention war: im wesentlichen die Arbeits hand des Gottes  (Hearing that, neither Keitel nor the Gestapo was pleased but still they presumed their good fortune was indeed the working proof of Devine intervention: in essence the knowledable working Hand of God).  They even went so far as to have the second signature on the sketches analyzed; it proved not to be that of Joachem’s but of another who they interpreted was decidedly bolder; besides, the latter wrote with the right hand and not the left, as did Joachem.



,,Im RĂĽckblick meinte ich ihn war dann, daĂź das kleine man sie erfolgreich verleitet hatte.  Die seducers selbst seduced; und unknowingly, ĂĽber Zeit, wĂĽrden sie erliegen  (In retrospect, I deemed it was then that the little one had successfully enticed them. The seducers themselves had been seduced; and unknowingly, over time, they would succ-umb). The little one had hooked a very big fish.  



The days turned to weeks and then months.  Während einer kurzen Periode waren alle Inhalt und vorgetäuschte Hingabe und betreffen fĂĽr sein Wohl  (For a short period, all were content and feigned devotion and concern for his well-being).  Dennoch kurz nach dem, fĂĽr sie, gingen Sachen schnell zur Hölle  (Nevertheless, shortly after that, for them, things went quickly to hell).  It was evident, that they were not at ease with him and the several tangible attempts to frighten him, in attempts to divulge more information, had failed miserably; as each resulted not only in the extreme mental psychosis of the interrogator, but to their physical debilitation as well.  



“The initial interrogators were the fortunate ones and escaped his presence, upset but, relatively unscathed; however, the presumptuous others who followed, and there were many, were not as “lucky.”   They immediately ceased to function either upon a solitary touch, however slight, to the person of the child, or but one look into his intense emerald green eyes which haunted them.  Stumpf zu sein, danach waren sie unbrauchbar; das kleine buchstäblich gehabt die lebende ScheiĂźe heraus erschrocken sie  (To be blunt, afterwards they were useless; the little one literally had scared the living shit out them).  



“The child’s repute quickly circulated and with each subsequent attempt the interrogators fortunes rapidly diminished with the latter two electing to turn their P-08’s on each other simultaneously.  From that point on, it was evident that they would go no further.  It was at that juncture that they relented and provided me with his penciled works in addition to whatever limited background they had purportedly inveigled from the child.



,,Die Sitzung wurde ich Speiche von, Wochen vor seinem Auftreten , wurde gebildet spezifisch auf Bitten von dem Jungen angeklagt, der sie mit seiner Zeit, Datum und Position versah  (The meeting I spoke of, was arraigned weeks prior to its occurrence, was specifically made at the request of the boy who provided them with its time, date and location.  Der alleine Codicil, den er zur VerfĂĽgung stellte, waren direkt:  daĂź nur ich ihn treffen sollte; keine andere wĂĽrden stören und wenn die ĂĽbereinkunft, unabhängig davon Störung, das Resultat defekt waren, wĂĽrden zu ihrem entscheidenden Verlust sein  (The solitary codicil he provided was straightforward:  that only I was to meet him; no others would intrude, and if the bargain were broken, regardless of fault, the result would be to their ultimate loss).   He did not lie…he never did.



“After the consultation went to hell….that same evening…uninvited…I returned to the carriage.  Sadly, it was the first of many such evenings which followed in which I observed the slumbers of a child who was awakened from the monstrosities of his supposed dreams by the dismay of his own screams and immediately turned my head away; unable to, if not partially, unwilling to help.  Peter, the child spoke in many languages while he slept, not of the sweet dreams of youth but of the countless horrors to which he had born witness. Nein, genau schrie er in der Qual an ihrer Wirklichkeit und glaubte er, wieder erlebte jedes, während er schlief  (No, more precisely he screamed in agony at their reality, believing he relived each as he slept).



“Briefly put, much later, it fell to Stellrecht and Yodl to notify the Reich Chancellor that I had “successfully” completed my mission.   For some reason, in my report, I “felt” the need to omit the intrusion.  With unabashed enthusiasm, both entered his office and explained that an accord had been reached but it was strongly reiterated that to obtain the optimum results that, „der Junge zur Reife ernährt werden mĂĽssen, bevor sein Service in das Reich wirklich beginnen wĂĽrde  (the boy must be nurtured to maturity before his service to the Reich would actually commence).   Bis dann,“ sie fuhren, „wir haben angeboten das Abfangen der Berechtigung dem Kind fort  (Until then,” they continued, “We have offered the trappings of authority to the child).  Ist er kein weniger das klĂĽgere.  SchlieĂźlich ist er während seines Alters klein, des geringfĂĽgigen Baus und noch ein wenig effeminate  (He will be no less the wiser.  After all, he is small for his age, of slight build and still somewhat effeminate).”  



“The accord they presented was my report to which at Joachem’s request we had sealed with thumbprints:  his own and mine.  



“According to Yodl, the Fuhrer, who remained seated at his desk most eagerly and willingly, reached out and accepted it.  Immediately he stood and initially smiled most cordially at both while fondly caressing the unbroken seals. Then strangely, as if entranced, he staggered for a moment then stooped and began repeatedly to stroke the top of his desk with the fingertips of both hands.  For several minutes, neither Stellrecht nor Yodl spoke and except for the sound of the scratching the Fuhrers nails made upon his desk the room remained silent.  So transfixed, both stared at the desktop, noting that with each pass of either hand, the respective gouges cut deeper into the woods grain.  SchlieĂźlich als er mit ihnen sprach, schaute er nicht oben und stattdessen wĂĽnschte, mit entfernten Augen anzustarren, als ob hingerissen, an den Nuten er gerade in Schreibtische die Oberfläche geätzt hatte  (Eventually, when he spoke to them he did not look up, instead desiring to stare with distant eyes, as if entranced, at the grooves he had just etched into the desks surface).



,,Anstatt zu lächeln und die Nachrichten zu begrĂĽĂźen reserviert, blieb er anfangs und fing, sie resentfully zu fragen an  (Instead of smiling and welcoming the news, he at first remained reserved and began to question them resentfully).    Kein der zwei war besorgt, auf ihn zu antworten; entschieden erkennen, dieses einige Sachen wurden besser unsaid gelassen  (Neither of the two was anxious to reply to him; decidedly recognizing, that some things were better left unsaid).  Jedoch während er beide seiner Hände sprach, die gesucht wurden, um den Schreibtischlack heraus von unter seinen Fingernägeln zu schlagen während das erste seiner drei Fragen  (However, while he spoke both of his hands sought to flick the desks varnish out from beneath his fingernails while the first of his three questions, “So?  Ist alles das?  Dann haben Sie nichts weiter?“ kam als ĂĽberraschung (So?  Is that all?  Then you have nothing further?” came as a surprise).



„Warteten sie in vorsichtige Ruhe, während er mit fortfuhr, „Schwachköpfe!  Sie beide fassen nicht die Bedeutung der Jungen' Aussehen  (They waited in guarded silence as he continued with, “Imbeciles!  You both do not grasp the significance of the boys’ appearance).   Wenn Gott nicht auf unserer Seite war, warum wĂĽrde er ihn hier… mir… hier und jetzt schicken?  Und jetzt… erwarten Sie mich,… auf das Kind zu warten…, um zu reifen?  Sie sehen die Kerben im Schreibtisch?  Wissen Sie, was sie sind?  (If God was not on our side why would he send him here…to me…here and now?  And now…you expect me to wait… for the child…to mature?  You see the scores in the desk?  Do you know what they are)?”



,,An welchem Punkt, entsprechend Yodl, das Fuhrer dann oben schaute und zum Witzbold den Finger seiner linken Hand an ihnen beide anfing, während seine rechte Hand fest nach seiner HĂĽfte stillstand.  AuĂźerdem hatte der Blick auf seinem Gesicht deutlich zu dem von implacable geändert und kompromisslose Einzelperson, die erbarmungslos fortfuhr , sie auszuschelten, fast schreiend an ihnen, mit seinen Wörtern von, „sprechen nicht mit mir!  Ich erkläre Ihnen!  (At which point, according to Yodl, the Fuhrer then looked up and began to wag the finger of his left hand at them both, while his right hand rested firmly upon his hip.  Moreover, the look on his face had markedly changed to that of an implacable and uncompromising individual, who pitilessly continued to berate them, almost shouting at them, with his words of, “Do not speak to me!  I will tell you)!  Sie sind Wadenetze, die Fische werden gefangen innen sind; aber, wie Sie sehen, ist ihr Ineinandergreifen unvollständig.  Was Sie theoretisch fĂĽr Gebrauch in meinem Namens… geworfen haben, ist jetzt zu mir… anscheinend unbrauchbar, wie jetzt UNBRAUCHBARE andere… sind!   UNBRAUCHBAR! UNBRAUCHBAR!  ALLE SIND UNBRAUCHBAR! Umgeben Dummköpfe mich!  Der Guppy, ein kleiner Fisch, wird angelockt, dennoch bleibt es un-gefangen.  Die zwei von Ihnen sind MEINE Generäle? …, wenn so… mach's gut , das er nicht entgeht.   Wenn so… mein… General… mach's gut, das er nicht entgeht.  Ich habe… und zu nehmen…, was meins sein muĂź oder sonst  (They are the seines which fish are netted in; but as you see, their mesh is incomplete.  What you have theoretically cast for use in my name…is now useless to me…apparently as now are others…USELESS!   USELESS! USELESS!  ALL ARE USELESS!  Fools surround me!  The guppy, a little fish, is lured, yet it remains un-netted.  The two of you are MY generals?  If so…my…generals…take care, he does not escape.   I will have…and take…what must be mine, or else…”  Ist dieses alles dort ist?



,,Weder antworteten Stellrecht noch Yodl auf das Fuhrer möglicherweise vorwegnehmen, daĂź Ruhe der bessere Kurs von Wörtern war. Yodl selbst erklärte mir, „dann dem Fuhrer, als ob plötzlich geweckt, oben geschaut, und dann bloĂź gesagt, „Mittagessen?  Verbinden Sie mich?“  (Neither Stellrecht nor Yodl replied to the Fuhrer’s last question to them of “Is this all there is?” perhaps, anticipating, that silence was the better course of words. Yodl himself told me, “Then the Fuhrer, as if suddenly awakened, looked up, and then merely said, “Lunch?  Join me)?  Beide entschuldigten sich liebenswĂĽrdig der Notwendigkeit aus irgendeinem Grund glaubend, sich von ihm zu ĂĽberholen.   Im Ende fĂĽr beide, wĂĽrde sie sie besser gedient haben, so getan zu haben, fortwährend.   Ăśbrigens hatte viel neueres Yodl, das lightheartedly, die Forelle gedient wurde angegeben wurde, unerklärlich sich ranzig gedreht  (Both graciously excused themselves feeling the need for some reason to distance themselves from him.   In the end for both, it would have served them better to have done so, continually.   By the way, much later Yodl lightheartedly stated, the trout served had inexplicably turned rancid).  



But as they say that is now all water under the bridge. How crass and bitter the feelings…the child meant a great deal to me and now even I have all but reduced him to a cold and distant obscurity: so callous the thoughts then so sour the feelings now.    



“So to answer your question yes, this means much to me but the obvious still eludes you but I see your eyes and still they question but at the moment it is not me they are concerned with.  So, what is your question and why, pray tell, are you now alternatively staring at the mirror then back over your shoulder?



“Sorry, I…I…thought I saw…no nothing…I saw nothing…but…you’re right I do have a question…one question…please…tell me…how did you seal the copy of your report which the Fuhrer handled?   Wait…a touch however slight affected those whom he contacted either directly or indirectly.   He trapped him…the little son of a bitch trapped the crazy bastard!  



Very good, very good indeed, in a moment of clarity my son now perceives the obvious after all blood is thicker than water…especially when utilized as a seal.  But…

_________________________

*dandling---It means to move a baby or small child gently up and down on your knees.

... (explanation:  each dot represents a measured beat of time.  they were used in ancient theater plays to measure the replies of actors, etc.)

[teddi]

…“…as I have always told you…the devil…is…in the details; especially those purposely omitted.”



“What do you mean dad…you just said that …Joachem… asked for the meeting and set the whole thing up.”



“I said no such thing”.



“Yes it is.  That’s exactly what you said, what's more I have a couple of more questions for you, but…I don’t know if I should because I think I’m going to be sick right now and…”



“Yes… you appear…apprehensive.  However, I reiterate that I said no such thing.  Your supposition of his solitary accomplishment is in inaccurate and you ascribe far too much credit to him.  Besides, as I have told you, he did not act alone; he had help.  I would explain further, but it is evident from your darting eyes that something else has suddenly demanded their attentiveness; and I would conjecture that it is the mirror, which concerns you as to what it truly does or does not reflect.  Evidently, you are tired.  Perhaps you surmise that your eyes are merely in error.



“After all, misperceived first looks are often illusory.  Still, it is the compelling steadfast second look at the concealed that bears additional study.  Is that why you now unexpectedly concern yourself with it?  If your awareness…is…a nonentity…it…none-the-less causes the hackles upon your neck to rise.   I remember that at one time, I too had such an experience.   I would proceed…but…you appear pallid as well.  Perhaps I should wait until you…”



“No.  Look, I’ll be fine, I’m just a little spooked that’s all…it’s just that I think I keep on seeing something in that damn mirror…right behind me… it keeps blipping in and out of sight; and then when I turn around…it’s gone.”  



“Your assertion is intriguing. So whatever exists magically appears; then suddenly vanishes?  Hmm, to entertain such thoughts would lead one to believe that you are an exceptionally troubled young man.  Möglicherweise ist es ein zugehöriges Familie Ausfallen  (Perhaps it is an inherent family failing).  A little more water if you please…possibly this time for yourself; and Peter…your constant twitchings…are amusing.  Maybe, if you were to close your eyes, then allow yourself a moment that later your eyes would clear; but I would caution, what may become initially apparent to you may be intimidating.  Have I told you that it is best not to look into her eyes…at least not the first time?  I think not.  By the way, she states, despite your apparent “condition,” that she is “…at ease” with your presence.



“Seriously Dad!”



“Ohh yes…she is quite serious; and especially concerned with the many unanswered questions you would pose.  Now, close your eyes and ask.”



“O.K. Have it your way…I still can’t believe that I’m doing this…look, see…but even with my eyes closed something doesn’t add up.  For starters, you said that Joachem left the sketches on a bench, then is tossed in a cell crying but then all of a sudden the kids all smiles as he drops a veritable load on them.  Then later on, he asks for you by name just to set up a meeting to negotiate with you, really dad, in exchange for what?  And what difference does some coc-kamamie handwriting analysis have to do with proving any of this; maybe he was ambidextrous. Which still brings me back to my first question, which you avoided, why you?  I mean, if this kid was so great what did he need you for; when he could have done it all himself?”



 â€śI evaded nothing, you interrupted my thoughts.  Moreover, he did not do “it” himself; as I have told you, he had help…including myself and now…with any luck…you.”



Dad, I think your nuts if you think that I’m going to…”



“Believe what I say?”



“No that’s not what I meant to say…no not all.  What I meant was, if…just if…this kid was so crafty why in the hell should I believe that he couldn’t or didn’t stop all of what happened after that from actually happening?  Look at all the lives he could’ve saved. Why not just do the obvious and change history?  That’s what I meant I was going to say.  Besides, I’m getting antsy about the phantom that you claim is hanging out around here; at this point what’s the big attraction?  



“I will reply to your last question first, I never stated she was “hanging around.”  I stated that she was “looking in on me” while also concerned for your well-being; as well as her own.  However, the fact that she is leaning over your shoulder for the moment and smiling should in reality be of no concern to you.  Still we are pleased, that despite your skepticism there exists within it, a glimmer, if not the possibility of final acceptance:  which is encouraging.   After all, the road from denial to recognition contains many potholes and is neither smooth nor quick when traveled, though often what lies at journeys end is well worth the travail.  



“However your various questions are reasonable, yet I have cautioned you as to the depth of the trickery.  Furthermore, in your state, you have managed to omit the most important factor in the equation:  the connection of the boy to Athena.  When “you” have explained it to yourself, do not look so surprised…now listen carefully and follow the logic.



 â€śTo your first point, I agree that I specifically said, “…that the initial request was at the behest of another.  It was the boy.”  Indisputably, that much is certain.  I had spoken the truth; however, I did not ascribe the act specifically to Joachem did I?  I reiterate yet again that I did not.



“Peter, you have acknowledged that the boy entrapped the Reich Chancellor but have you duly considered the possibility, that if one possesses the ability to move through time and space that one may also be capable of appearing in two places simultaneously?  As a scholar I would inquire, what is the name of this phenomenon?    I await your response…as does the one who still stands behind you in good spirits.”



“Uhhm, dad please don’t kid around with me about that right now…but…what you’re talking about would be called bilocation or multilocation.  Which, which was, I mean were, uhh, well each was used to develop the primal basis of various ancient philosophical systems including…including the early Greek philosophy and of course it’s also in the Bible; utilized as a predicate underling Christianity.”  



“A confluence…my, my, my…how coincidental. But, yes it is, and of course we both recognize that philosophy…is…best defined as what and please…detail it…precisely.”  



“Damn it dad if you wanted Oxfords definition of it you could have looked it up yourself!

But, basically it’s the assessment of the fundamentals of life involving causality…that everything that happens must have a fundamental cause.”



„Es jetzt?  Fahren Sie fort  (Does it now? Continue).”



“That existence…is the state of being actual or real instead of the imagined.”



,, Folglich was Sie sich vorstellen, daĂź jetzt hinter Ihnen steht, ist zu Ihnen oder zu Ihrer Phantasie wie I Am. so real.  Fahren Sie fort  (Therefore what you imagine that stands behind you is as real to you or your imagination as I Am.  Proceed.)”



“Then, then, of course, there’s reality …what is actual instead of false and freedom, which is the ability to act in any given state at will.”



,,Infolgedessen ist das wer hinter Ihnen steht, wirklich anwesend und ist anscheinend in der Lage, am Willen zu fungieren.  AuĂźerdem obwohl manchmal unseen, besteht sie auch in den alternativen Zuständen Ihrer Wirklichkeit.  Weitermachen Sie. (Consequently, the one who stands behind you is actually present and is apparently able to act at will.  Moreover, even though sometimes unseen, she too exists in the alternated states of your reality.  Carry on.)”



“Moreover, that it is the ultimate search for truth.  You know, what is in conformity and factual or in broader context, honesty or loyalty to what exists, to whatever the form…it is always the paramount concern.  There.  Are you satisfied?”  



“As there is another present, if you are referring to “her” she nods in affirmation while attributing but a modic-um level of attainment to you.  As for me…mostly…yes…as it is a verification of my original supposition that the two are intertwined.  However, the question is now more aptly turned:  will you be satisfied with my reminiscences…in your eventual search for the truth?  If so, consider that the truth sought is as intangible as the boy we now speak of is both duplicitous and shrewd.



"However, given your summation we agree that the child I spoke of was another boy, who acted at will with impunity in search of what he lacked.  The boy I specifically alluded to was his look alike and of course, as a student of history and of science you are familiar with the term to which I now allude?”



“Dad, why in the hell are you using the Socratic Method* on me because we both know what your intimating.   You’re claiming that it was either his vardoger** or doppelgänger *** that took his place.”



“If so, those are your words not mine, therefore, hold your salient conclusion and consider the following circ-umstances.  That Joachem was not ambidextrous; he was decidedly left-handed except for those intrinsically “peculiar” moments when “he presumed to sketch.”  What is more, is, that at meals, as was and is currently the practice, Joachem brought his fork, spoon and drink to his mouth likewise:  left-handed.  In addition, he was by nature a friendless child, suspiciously avoiding, as if by choice, all who would be close:  regardless of gender; fearing that the slightest of touch of either, regardless of intent, would be horrendous.



“Only his mother, as if by necessity, was able to hold or offer a degree of comfort to the child; though on rare occasions, he would uncharacteristically seek her reassurance.  I would add, that as for his biological father, we knew very little, except from what Freida could or would provide.  That she considered him a most forceful and dynamic individual with whom she fell in love with some time before Joachem’s birth; claiming that it was love at first sight.  But of him specifically, there is little else that is of record; as even the Gestapo had constant difficulty in actually locating his whereabouts and what service records they kept of the man had inexplicably been purged by an unknown and elusive operative hidden within their ranks.  



“But I digress.  Now, where was I?  Oh, yes, now I remember that it was some time after he and I met, that Joachem, refused to speak, to anyone, including her:  a fact for which she blamed me.  Largely the blame was well deserved.  The harsh reality of truth was that Joachem resolved not to speak after totally committing himself to the course of action discussed within the conclave of images to which he had willfully, albeit reluctantly, so acquiesced.  Do you understand my obvious inference, that each vision I glimpsed that afternoon, within the temporal vortex, was his living mirror image, co-equal entities to which one was more than the sum of the entirety.  It was at his behest that the plot was hatched and I firmly believe that he, the child we speak of, is primarily the source of motivation.



"However, even prior to that pregnant instance, she had suspected that the child who spoke to me could not have possibly been her son but that of a clever alternate who, briefly at times, actually replaced him.  The basis of her assertions was implicit:  claiming a mother’s intuition; and her reservations, while intangible, were wide-ranging.  



“The most prominent of which was that her son, who could indeed speak, suffered from a notable speech impediment when nervous; and was quite serious, when she confided in me, that, “The boy’s voice who spoke to me in his stead was markedly different”…from her sons.  â€śAfter all,” she said, “a mother instinctively knows the voice of her own child.”  Even so, she concerned herself with the boy as she was, “…some way drawn to the child and lavished what comfort I could while silently fearing; if in error, what else might I do?”  After all she continued, “He has shown me a face of himself which, even to a mother, is markedly different if not startling.”



“Additionally, she was not only taken aback at his most cordial loquaciousness with me; but also had, on several occasions, experienced what she described as moments of dĂ©jĂ  vu: a temporal loop involving conditions surrounding him that she had previously experienced.  



“Normally I would have discarded such attributes except that the atypical moments to which I have noted, where he either sketched or spoke, were in every instance preceded by an abnormality in the time-space area immediately surrounding him.  Specifically, that those in his immediate vicinity noted that time and motion itself aberrantly appeared to slow or halt then immediately resume.



“Again I would have dismissed the abnormality except that there were on several occasions when the boy had been “secured” that various security personnel swear that they viewed him elsewhere; either the lavatory or sitting beside his mother; who of course proceeded to ridicule the notion.  

 

“Dad, that’s the second time that you’ve talked about what’s casually known as the “time stop experience” and bilocation.”  Why?  



“The answer is because, all which is relative, presumably centers on the boy and that for some cause, I too was sought; if only to enlighten. I believe there is no other explanation, which suffices. Throughout our discourse you have capriciously and repeatedly dismissed the obvious, while  failing to accept Homer’s ode of war at face value as the practicable answer to the riddle.  Specifically, of who prompted the child’s captors to hurl Hectors son from a cliff overlooking Troy:  and who now seeks the obvious, the symmetry found of motherly fulfillment from the child who, as she has stated, bears her mark for eternity.  The answer lies with the one who stands behind you at this moment:  Athena.



“It…is the only article, which has through time, eluded the complementary being who now in part bears her name:  Athena Aleitheia. Jedoch in dieser Wirklichkeit, hat Zeit nicht die Wunden, es hat verbittert sie anstatt geheilt  (However, in this reality, time has not healed the wounds it has instead exacerbated them).  Ich nehme wahr, daĂź das Kind noch am Krieg mit beiden selbst und sie ist; und hört nicht auf, wie Absicht wiederholt Bestehen zu allen Enden annulliert hat  (I perceive that the child is still at war with both himself and her; and will not cease, as intent has repeatedly canceled existence to all ends).  



“That is why she is here.  She wishes to assure the event horizons success without which she would fail.  After all, the child is the genesis, which was born of her own conception.   The progeny is emphatically more not less than she once was, and is in her eyes, the incarnation of perfection surpassing even that of her own creation.



“You asked the moving question, moments ago, why didn’t the boy change history and void what has occurred?  Was läßt Sie denken, daĂź er nicht… bereits… geänderte Geschichte mehrmals rĂĽber hat? (What makes you think that he has not  â€¦already…changed history several times over)?   Welche Vermutung gibt es, festzustellen, daĂź er nicht bereits unter den vielen die optimale Konsequenz vermutet hat?  (What supposition is there to conclude that he has not already surmised among the many:  the optimal consequence)?  Wie wĂĽrden Sie wissen?  (How would you know)?  Ausgenommen fĂĽr das Unbekannte wurden Sie nicht  (Except for the unknown, you would not).  Ich schlage vor, daĂź er absichtlich den Kurs von Fällen geändert hat, um einen wĂĽnschenswerten Fallhorizont zu sichern:  die Vorwähler seiner eigenen Mutter; und wenn es so tut, widerlegte das schlaue charage meisterhaft die Tiefe der verkĂĽndeten Täuschung.  (I imply that he has willfully changed the course of events to secure a desirable event horizon:  the selection of his own mother; and in doing so, the cunning charade masterfully belied the depth of the deception promulgated).



"Dad, wait a second, you’re telling me that that’s what’s happened?  What about the wonder weapons he clued them on to?  What about all those people who were lost in the interim?  



"Probing questions but consider the alternative, if but one item in the past was to change…that we would not be speaking, as we perceive we are, in the here and now.  It is the unseen circ-umstances, which have led to our current existence, which perpetually surrounds us.   Misdirection was and is the key to our existence.  If the boy had not “offered”, enticements, as one would confections to a child, to those who sought domination what would have been the consequence.  On that thought, you may extrapolate.



“Misdirection?  He gave them factual clues to purposely misdirect them?  That’s an absurd and self serving conclusion!  



“Is it now? Is it self-serving to continue to exist?  Does the absurdity you decry encompass the technological advances, which we have since “appropriated” as our own and currently benefit from?   If the groundwork had not been previously laid, to what developmental point would we be at present?  Moreover, if the millions of Deutschmarks had not been allocated to their research, where exactly, would the funds have been applied?  I will answer the problematic question for you, that it is far cheaper to buy millions of bullets than to develop atomic weaponry.  It is also far less expensive to both enlist and instruct men in the use of antiquated firearms and armaments than the research costs to develop an advanced technology; the relationship is in essence that…”



“No need to…let me…that the more men who are under arms, the more they become expendable; moreover they’re less expensive to maintain or lose.   By inference, that despite losses, if necessary, their sheer numbers alone would overwhelm any would be protagonist.  



“And the Lebensborn’s’ were…?



“Possibly ingenious. They were a safeguard, a fallback, envisioned by the Reich Chancellor-if the s.o.b. wanted supermen, then, it makes sense…they produce more babies, preferably more boys-though girls would’ve eventually been thrown into the mix and in turn it meant more men, which…meant more soldiers.  So you’re telling me that if, he had not led them down the proverbial garden path, that the alternate path they would have taken would have ultimately led to total world domination.  Wait a second, there’s more here…lot’s more…when you woke up…you asked if it was me and then and then you said that you were pleased that we remained certainties.  



“You’re smiling at me now …I know you are…because you were part of the bargain!  Then the boy manipulated circ-umstances to get you as well?

 

“Yes, it is a sealed alliance to which I have faithfully adhered.  However, I must confess that I am still troubled; especially with your analysis…specifically, that if I were you, that I would have envisioned something more…devious.   However, there is ample time for you to reconcile your conclusions.  



"Remember that I warned you of the treachery.   Perhaps you would say that I am negatively inclined to accept an assumption of yours as it now stands.  If I were you, I would seriously question my many negatives because the possibility exists, that in another reality, a dimension still unknown to us, that our doubles, opposite twins if you will, may now all be speaking….

________________________________

*Socratic Method…the process of asking questions to elicit a knowledgeable reply from another.

**Vardoger…is a ghostly double, who in Norse mythology, is seen doing the work of someone else.  It is a decidedly less sinister vision than that of  a…

***Doppelgänger…who is an exact double of the person it replaces but is specifically associated with bad luck, illness, death or in some instances…revenge.

[teddi]

…,,Ja ja weiĂź ich, wir wĂĽrde alle sprechen Deutsches. (Yes, yes, I know, I know, we’d all be speaking German).  And that dad just begs the point; because now you’re being evasive on purpose and I know that you’re using double-entendres just to goad me. And what in the hell are the many negatives that you’re talking about now?  



“So, you are irritated with me; good, it will serve as an inducement.  The negatives I spoke of are those few found in my safe.  When viewed in context they will reveal a greater secret.  As you have the combination you may look for yourself; at any time.”



“Damn it you’re exasperating!  I know what you’re implying. You expect me to just get up and leave you to go look so you can prove a point. No!  I’m not going to!  Why don’t you just tell me because unless its one hell of a whopper I’m not going to be inclined to change my opinion no matter how “negatively inclined” you might be with me right now.”  



“Interesting, am I to infer then, that the explanation I would offer you, and its acceptance, is predicated upon the dimension of its deception?  If so, prepare yourself.  I have constantly told you that the devil is in the details; especially those omitted.   That you recognize my use of a double-entendre to describe the child is laudable but it was not to evade, nor to dismay you, but rather to in part  metaphorically open a door and explain.  



“Please, you remain pre-occupied with the entity that repetitively appears in the mirror behind you.  Justifiably, you are transfixed; however, the phenomenon herself implies that her presence will serve as the provoking basis of explanation.  



“Now, appreciate the manifest that your mirror image, as are the others of substance, is three-dimensional, yet it also includes the unseen.  Reasonably, you may ask what do I mean.  What I suggest is that what it does not reveal; is what is vital to your life and all, which is contained within the life form of yourself.  Of course, it also reflects those images, which you consider lifeless, if you will, inanimate; and sometimes, those which suddenly appear behind you as if out of thin air.”



“But then quite naturally, as if by nature, instantaneously, when you move, so does your mirror image; undeniably, it is always with you and by implication so too are those which remain hidden or suddenly disappear apparently to remain but are still unseen.  I would caution that the mirror, regardless of reflection, would not lie to you; what it reflects is accurate.



“But we have come to the crux of the issue, as the image viewed is the exact opposite of you; in essence it is a reverse image of you; of either front or back.  That is, as long as the perspective of your vantage point, does not change.  However, what we view to either right or left of our image remains static as long as we do not flip-over 180 degrees.  Of course, if we move…”



“Dad, I know all of this. If I move, then my mirror image will move with me because the relative position of the objects I view in the mirror will also change with my perspective; however, I will still be able to observe myself in the same three dimensions.”  



“Precisely, therefore, the only aspect which is not viewed but remains as a relative constant is…”



“Time…we can’t see the time it takes us to move…we can only estimate it from a given frame of reference.  Its duration is predicated upon our perception of what time actually is and what it actually constitutes within the fourth dimension.”



“Then you would agree that what we perceive or fail to perceive in an object, any object, though it is none-the-less present, is paramount to understanding or interpreting the true nature of another.  â€ť



“Dad, why am I suddenly suspicious and have the sneaky feeling that you’re about to give me a good kick in the pants?”



“No, my legs are weary; I fear that that I will not be kicking anything in the pants for some time to come.  What I will do however is endeavor to tie up the loose ends and allow you to reflect upon the following.  Please, just listen.



“First…Joachem was the only exceptional…male…child born “alive” to Freida; there was another to account for:  a stillborn female.   Your flippant insight as to the Lebensborn’s was marginally correct.  Aside from the obvious, the implication is unassailable; he was not an only child but her sole surviving and exact fraternal twin.  



“Her failed delivery preceded his birth by mere seconds.  As a codicil, I would add that her death was not through an act of nature; the child was murdered.  Though Freida had accurately addressed the blame, it was then considered of little consequence and what paltry regrets offered to her at the time was, by her, scornfully and justifiably dismissed.  By all standards, a female had indeed been “thrown into the mix;" though far earlier than had been projected.  



“Dad…that’s the umpteenth time that you’ve alluded to something which is eerily out of ordinary.  Why do you always do that to me?  No matter what it is, just when your about to tell me something important you allude to something else.”



,,Peter, vielleicht ist es ein Ruse, zum Sie weiter zu besteuern, oder möglicherweise ist es, das offensichtliche zu ĂĽbermitteln  (Peter, possibly it is a ruse to tax you further or perhaps it is to meant to convey the obvious).  That the negatives, which I have alluded to, are exceptional, as each has somehow captured the essence of our unnoticed surroundings and are expository; moreover, when viewed in context, what they depict is, incontrovertible.   What they portray are the visible and concomitant invisible reflections, of what in time surround us, and of which we are painfully unaware.   To be succinct, they depict the image of an additional child:  to be precise that of a young female, who does not appear on the photograph itself.   Folglich was herausgestellt wird, ist entschieden aus dem ĂĽblichen heraus:  wenn Sie werden, selbst eine Projektion des Unbekannten (Therefore, what is exposed is decidedly out of the ordinary:  if you will, herself a projection of the unknown).



“However, to answer your allegorical questions before they are posed, “Yes, there are other images and negatives; and each exacts an identical result.  Yes, that regardless of Joachem’s age, when photographed, the image taken was marred while its companion negative presented decidedly more. Yes, the preponderance of the negatives was incontrovertible in clarity.  Nein, in einigem, die Verunstaltung stand bereitwillig abgesehen von dem Jungen während in anderen, welche die Veränderung einkapseln ihn erschien  (No, in some, the blemish stood readily apart from the boy while in others the variation appeared to encapsulate him).  Nein, in jedem, das, das bildlich dargestellte Wesen negativ ist, hat dementsprechend mit dem Jungen gealtert.  Es ist, wenn sie abgebunden wurden.  (No, in each negative, the entity depicted has aged accordingly with the boy.  It is if they were bonded).  And yes, while other individuals, including his mother, viewed each; all, except for his mother and me, summarily dismissed them.



“Shall I continue?  You nod without hesitation, good.



“Peter, allow the moment and look studiously at your mirror image while considering the obvious. Was Sie ansehen, ist Ihr genaues Duplikat  (What you view is your exact duplicate).  Jedes Detail, jede gebildete Bewegung, jede Nuance, die versteckt wird, jede Verunstaltung, unten zu kleiden, das Sie tragen, ist ein genaues Faksimile von selbst  (Every detail, every movement made, every nuance which is hidden, every blemish, down to the clothe you wear is an exact facsimile of yourself).  Wenn Sie irgendwie in der Lage waren, buchstäblich heftig zu zerreiĂźen, ist es vom Spiegel und zu haben Standplatz neben Ihnen; auĂźer selbst wie wĂĽrde sonst jemand wissen, welches der zwei Sie war?  (If you were somehow able to literally tear it from the mirror and have it stand beside you; except for yourself, how would anyone else know which of the two was you)?    I would surmise that you would readily agree that no one could possibly tell the difference.  After all, each would be indistinguishable from the other as there would be no margin for error; however slight.  Now I will take the illustration one-step further.



"What mischief would you wreak if both you and your mirror image were able to interact either simultaneously or separately in this world with others?  



“I see the beginning of a smile.  Only now do you begin to understand what I am alluding to; that there is a parallel state of altered existence, which exists simultaneously in another dimension parallel to our own.  Moreover, that if one possess the ability to access it one could alter the state of existence in either of the two upon a whim and that an entity, one that is hell-bent upon a course of action, would be no less than redoubtable:  especially if it, or he, or she, is also able to traverse time.  Perhaps one is a consequence of the other, but as time is relative, your individual comings and goings would be virtually indistinguishable by others.  Likewise, your replacement, could at a moments notice, if you will, with but a blink of an eye, replace you and who would be the wiser?  Es ist eine faszinierende Möglichkeit, besonders wenn die instrumentierte Scharade als Vorläufer zu einem in Aussicht Fall ist:  ein mit einem höheren Zweck im Verstand.  Ein besonders, nach dem alles ist, wagered  (It is an intriguing possibility especially if the orchestrated charade is as a precursor to an event in the offing:  one with a higher purpose in mind.   Especially one upon which all is wagered).



“I can see it in your eyes, you have something to say.”



“So the child we’re speaking of is truly an exact opposite; at least the one which you say is shown on the negatives.  But the other one, who also appears the same, is able to interact in more than three worlds simultaneously:  the past, the then present and the oncoming future but is also able to access another dimension, parallel to our own, in which he is able to view, if not enact, a reasonable cause and effect.”



“For the most you are correct.  The mirror image is female in gender while the boy is decidedly male though entirely attuned with his opposite.  However, I surmise that the cost of such compatibility comes with considerable expense; at times, one’s personal identity may be marginalized.  Proceed.”



"So that means that he or is it his mirror image, or is it his sister, which is able to interact with anyone?  No wait…why stop at two…crap…all three could do it.  But I’m missing something else…if the child of the future is, is, what?... responsible...for it all…that means that he’s the one that can change what does or doesn’t occur.  Christ dad that’s almost… godlike isn’t it?  Oh, shit…what you’re implying is not what I’m thinking is it? Well?  I’m waiting."  



“No. What I am implying is that Homer’s ode is accurate.  That at one time, those, to whom he ascribed supernatural powers, such as Athena, existed.  Of course, the relationship of those beings to mortal men is renowned, if only in the many allegories of the time.  That they were also promiscuous and found earthly comfort, wherever or whenever the opportunity afforded, is also well known.  However, the child was not an offspring of such a union; instead, he is the necessary corollary of faith in which the one who stands behind you has trusted.  



“Dad, wait a second you just lost me.”



“Peter, I will make an effort to be brief as I tire but it has taken me years to connect the dots.   I will not debate the existence of the one who stands behind you.  Nor will I debate her complicity in the death of Hectors son, Astyanax, as she was the root cause.  Yet, if the one is evident then the other is also within the sphere of recognition. Nor, will I deny what I have experienced, to do so would be a contravention of my agreement with the boy.  The boy exists and is the result of her acuity:  even if belated.  



“From experience I have learned that even angels in waiting are not without the ability to convey or cajole what they desire, if not long for, to another; especially one who will…