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Author Topic: Promises, Obligations and Consequences  (Read 144315 times)

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teddi

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Promises, Obligations and Consequences
« Reply #175 on: September 28, 2010, 05:09:15 PM »
“Nice try, but no, wrong answer!   But then again let’s say I did let you did call on her, can you imagine what she’d say to you first? Right off, you know she always gets your goat and you’d never hear the end of it and second you’d loose forever what I had offered to you:  untold experience.  That’s what you’re really really thinking about and what you want…isn’t it?  And if you’re really paying attention that’s a clue about what you might consider.  Now, try that again because I can’t permit her that opportunity as I have already offered it to you; besides, it just wouldn’t be right to take it back because as dense as it sounds that would make me an Indian giver all over again.  



“Aeryn, more to the point, don’t you see that if I were you that she’d be the last person I’d call on.  No…of course…you still don’t.  Look…I know you really don’t have all the experience that she does, but you’re the only one here right now that can make a difference and help; that’s what significant.  You’re the one who got dissed by her but really deep down inside wanted to show her what you could do with more experience so nows your big chance.  All it takes for you is a leap of faith.*



“And I know what you’re thinking right now, that if I let you go, that if you only had the chance, that if you screwed up, that you’d just call her; if only to say goodbye.  If it makes you feel any better, I’m not all that mean and I can’t let either of those things happen either:  you messing up or calling her.  So for the moment you’re gonna have to live with it; being uncomfortable that is.  Besides I know… this is not at all what you envisioned because that’s what you’re thinking.  And yes, I know what’s running through your mind:  â€śshe did say that she’d do the same thing” as you just did…but if it makes any difference to you I’ll ask nicely…was all she said to you just to make you feel better:  or was there something else more important that she left out on purpose?  Was it just her way to test you?  Because just look at yourself now; and at the fix you’re in and you can’t blame me or her for it either.”  



“Christopher that’s not fair or nice in fact it’s…”



“Cold blooded? Is that what you’re really thinking about me thinking about her?  If it is, then it is in part my inherent nature.  Actually, given the situation, I prefer to simply think of myself as pragmatic; in fact, if I were her, Id’ve done the same thing to you too. The question to you is to what extent, after all, I find myself becoming quite the bitch!



“I don’t under…”



“Understand?  What don’t you…understand?  For someone who’s supposed to be so smart you sure don’t act like it and yes I know you’re increasingly distracted by what’s happening and think that the walls are closing in on you…but that’s only because they are.   If you want to know why then I’ll tell you.  They are because, what you perceive in your mind, with my assistance, may in fact become reality.  



“Others have dabbled with it, now it’s your adaptation of my little game; creepy isn’t it. Don’t you understand that with all your college degrees and stuff that at present, yours are the thoughts, which are paramount at this time, not mine; I am merely the conduit to their realization.  That’s why you’re feeling so bad, because I can amplify what you’re thinking and make it happen and all it takes is for you is just to think about it.  



“That’s one of the few things that Stellrecht really understood super good and Herr Maximillian was fortunate enough, through me, to experience but a portion of.  Of course you already know that there were others along the road that didn’t fare as well; but I personally didn’t care for them and felt nothing, nothing at all when they elected to up and quit playing.”



“Christopher, you’re telling me that if I believe that that the world as I know it is closing in around me, it is, and will?”



“Yes.”



“But what happens with everyone else, I mean, outside of…”



“I already told you that, they’ve ceased to exist.  Outside of these walls, for the moment, they’re gone; all of  â€™em and they don’t even know it.  Just like that, not even in the blink of an eye, and voila, poof no more.  Aeron, at the moment, your entire world is consigned to whatever exists within these walls; and the thoughts which you envision will become the reality which in time that will be recognized.  Which means that if you screw up just a little bit things just won’t be the same for you or anyone else.  I’d venture to guess that whatever you imagine the result will be quite a pressing experience.”



“That’s not funny.”



“Yes, that much is true.  But on the other hand, if you think otherwise, then there is much more to learn but you must ask for help in a manner acceptable from someone with more experience than you currently possess. And yes, I know what what you’re thinking now, that if your mother were here that she would have “found herself in the same situation” as you are right now except for one thing:  she has a recent history of familiarity.  She’d know what to do and how to get there.  I mean really, at least she’d know how to go asking someone for help…but you don’t and that’s the dilemma.



“Besides your other biggest quandary is simple, now that you’ve got yourself in a pickle, there’s no one here to tell you what to do.  So, think carefully about my offer to you of untold experience.  I promise if you just think about it you can gain what you lack and be all the wiser and help me get something from you at the same time.  So what’ll it be?  Are you going to be of assistance or do we stand here like two bumps on a log forever and a day?  And if you’re really interested its now been almost nineteen minutes without taking a breath and yes I can keep this up for however long it takes for you to see yourself desiring…”



“Christopher, I’m sorry for interrupting, please…I’m asking for help…but how and who do I ask?”



“Deep down you already know the answer to that question and I can’t tell you.  You must crave it.”



“Then how…I mean…what am I supposed to do?  This is exasperating.  First, you ask for my help but then you won’t tell me who or what to do; so how am I supposed to?”



“Aeryn, on this matter, I didn’t want you’re help; you interfered.  Now, because of that, I desperately need something from you and I can’t tell you what it is.  The question of the moment is are you now desirous of a dialogue, after a fashion, or, as my sister, do you actually think that  if you waited long enough, that would I give that particular thought up to you, which I won’t because I cannot and will not.”



Christopher Hector Markison what I think is…is…essentially…basically...mostly…no…

admittedly…I don’t know, I don’t know…I’m sorry…but without knowing what to do or think I’m afraid to make a decision.  But I can’t stand like this, I can’t. I can’t.”



“Then you mean you refuse?”



“No, no, I do not, not at all.  All I’m thinking about at the moment is that I don’t have anyone here to tell me or even show me what to do and I do believe that if I choose wrong then I trust what you have told me will actually happen.   So…as your sister…I choose to harm neither you nor anyone else; therefore, if I remain “in situ” so be it.”



“Aeryn, listen closely, you’re geting hotter.  In fact your’re getting closer, as are the walls; but you’ve already noticed that.  But why on earth does someone have to tell you to do something when all you have to do is imagine?  And before you reply, please consider the obvious:  between the two of us it is the thought which is paramount to us both.  You thought you knew everything but in reality know little and now you’re so afraid that you’ll trip up because you think that there is no one right here who can tell you how or what to do; do you understand?  My offer to you still stands as do we.”



“Christopher, why are you speaking in circles?  Admittedly, I am afraid; especially of what may occur and desperate to be released, can’t you see that.   I’m sorry, of course you can.  Then why can’t I see what you want?  Or, is the question better put, what must I see?”



“Yes.”



“Yes?  Chris, what exactly must I see that you cannot speak of?”



“Yes.”



“Yes, yes, I know, of course, you will not answer me other than cryptically.  But I would postulate as to the significance of this untold experience.  Why of the many experiences you have shared that only this now weighs upon you; this one incident of which you will not speak.  



“Yes.”



“So…if it is untold…inherently it becomes unspeakable?  Don’t reply, wait.  And if it is unspeakable then…then how would one…go about understanding what it is that I must do to make things right.  I can’t imagine that you’d actually go so far as to simply stand here for an eternity; in your condition, with me idly discussing this matter.  And as for my being afraid to “trip up” of course I’m afraid of making an error.  Who in their right mind experiencing this wouldn’t be?  Christopher, are you going to simply stand there and not say a ….



“What?  Say a word.  Is that what you’re asking me? Then the answer is no; on this matter, not an utterance; not a sound; not a statement; not a remark will I make and now you’re getting colder.  If I were you, I’d go back to where you were before; being hot, therefore the choice is yours to experience or not.  Furthermore, neither one word nor a thousand more will garner you the clarity you seek: your perception is reality and you must heartily perceive that which you most desire.”



“Desire? What do I desire?  What pray tell…in my heart…do…I desire?  Is it in my heart to desire such?”



“Yes. And as have the others, for better or worse, you will find it in time.  Then…”



“I ask from you not a word, instead a picture worth thousands if you will but show me.  I promise I will do…”



“Yes, I know…and very much so…and so earnestly that I will.  That is which is required has been requested and why inturn, I will keep you unharmed.  On the brighter side, consider the obvious:  that regardless of the paradigm, that all dimensional probabilites will occur, yet only one will be recognized in time, so enacted, I will hold no malice.  



"Please listen to my last thoughts to you:  here.  First, it is necessary that I allow you to blink but once and then, the all-encompassing blackness you fear will come; but I promise, it will pass.  Less than a second later, when again you open your eyes and stare transfixed, you will seek to cry out…but do not. Be as silent as the grave for there are others, unseen by us, who also lurk about who guard against intrusion.  If they were to find you out it would be most unpleasant.  Then when you understand what you see without a word from me we will return and you will surreptitiously fulfill your obligation.  



"Aeryn, your timely voyage, and your leap of faith, is at hand. Close your eyes then awaken to find yourself a shade before its time elsewhere.    

________________________________________________



  “A leap of faith, in its most commonly used meaning, is the act of believing in or accepting something intangible or unprovable, or without empirical evidence. The implication of taking a leap of faith can, depending on the context, carry positive or negative connotations, as some feel it is a virtue to be able to believe in something without evidence while others feel it is foolishness.”  Full credit to wikipedia.org.


teddi

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Promises, Obligations and Consequences
« Reply #176 on: October 28, 2010, 02:05:47 PM »
“Sister, I promise that all along the route I shall hear your every thought; regardless of circ-umstance, and while you may ask, for the most part consider, that I cannot react for the experience is truly yours; and it is for you to determine what shall occur thereafter.  Yes, I know you don’t understand but I can explain in part before we arrive.



“And yes, your thoughts betray you.  I really do understand that right now, you are “unresolved” as to where or how I will take you and I will answer; that we will move in concert from a place and time to where, when you open your eyes, we are as one at rest and in another place.  



“Now however, for the moment, you must close your eyes and allow me to move us freely.  I’m sorry, but for once in your life, just let yourself go and you will sense yourself encapsulated by the very walls you fear.  They will move ever closer to you, and then, suddenly, as they are within hands touch, you will literally feel as if you are being pulled backwards and drawn into something while falling from an unfathomable height.



“Yes, it is frightening.  But the sensation is an illusion and unlike me, you shall not find yourself shattered upon what you imagine that waits for you when you finally stop.  If it is of any comfort to you, consider, that your corporeal self is still where it was before we left:  it remains in place, right where we left it, as you expressly first desired…in-situ.  You have caused no harm…not yet anyway…nor for the moment…have I.



“Aeryn, listen closely, the sound, which you hear, as air hastening past our ears, is deceptive.  What you actually hear is the resonance of time itself; the friction caused by the resistance of the tides of time as they rush past the membrane of our shroud.  Believe me, you get used to the sound.  And the answer to your rational question is “No,” you are not “Just a big ’ol scaredy cat.”   The terrible anxiety you feel is normal; it is what all-sentient souls initially sense, when they enter the chasm in that moment of release from one state of existence to another.   Do you understand my implication?  



“Yes, I have a feeling you do, but then again, maybe not; but after all you really did want to see.  So, here’s your big chance to see exactly what it’s like to get experience for yourself; anyway, that’s what you told your mother, didn’t you?  Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?



“O.K. O.K. if it is of any consolation, even Herr Maximilliam feared as you do now and I will tell you exactly what I told him:  â€śâ€¦it is a misuse of your energy to struggle.”  And yes I know that you are “…still claustrophobic,” but when we arrive at the Expanse, that will pass.  I promise.   And please, don’t get sick!



“Aeryn, this is but a portion of what you asked for, what you desired, what you really wanted to see… so… don’t be afraid…because you are not falling down.  Just the opposite, this IS your trip up!  After all, deep down inside you, you had so many doubts so you really really wanted to know so many things…and you will…but just remember that the imaginings you see are through me because at this moment, we are of the same blood:  both one and inseparable.   What happens to you happens to…yes…even that too…so be careful.



 â€śNevertheless, for the immediate moment, I will grant you your observation that the void in which you now find yourself does “appear endless:”  that is because it is; it has no beginning, no end, it is infinite in its entirety.  The only question to resolve is where do we stop?



“Aeryn, to make it easier for you to understand consider yourself now an invisible hitchhiker, a like-minded traveling companion within a cosmic game of chance in which there are infinte possibilities all of which pend upon an eventual landing location; the one you most desire.  That which you perceive yourself within, now, as seen through my eyes, is actually the hole that exists in the thread of time, which we now together travail, and to answer another of your questions, “No,” it is no one “…other than,” me who speaks to you; or, from this moment on, will.  The reason for that is quite simple to explain…you are a relatively new soul and do not exist…at least…not yet.  I told you the truth before we left…you are now indeed a shade before its time.



“You must try to understand that a string of time exists for us all and this strand is exclusively yours though, for the moment, we do share but a portion of it and that at some point…yes, but don’t interrupt…you are correct…“it will end.”  No, not nescessarily the way you think; unless of course that is your final decision.  Corporeal death, is only a change of form, one from which we resonate in existence from one state to another. And “No,” your mother has not traveled this path nor has she, nor will she ever, the experience is uniquely yours alone and my gift to you.  I know you don’t understand…but you will.



“However on a more pleasant note, I feel that you are unaware of the voids true temperament and have not reconciled yourself as to whether you are actually sinking or rising within it.  The answer to both sensations is yes; for within it, there is not up or down.  The many directions that one may be pulled simultaneously are concurrent with all of its eventual possibilities and yes, your analogy of "...so they are as eddies, in an ocean, but more so," is correct.



“And the reason that there are so many is that depending upon circ-umstances that all probabilites of life within it are seen at the same moment and for some reason we are pulled towards each of them almost simultaneously.  But somewhere along the thread line, at some particular moment, one moves to that event which is favored:  thus the fateful choice is made.  And yes, you are right, “But normally…one does not see all of the eventualities.”  Yes, that much is true, “Because, they are purposely hidden from our sight.”    



“Speaking of which, shortly, even though your eyes, behind mine, remain shut, I know that in your mind, that you will perceive a light, almost blinding and far brighter than any other you have ever seen:  while at the same instant, you will also sense from elsewhere an impenetrable and forboding gloom; a blackness from which no light escapes.  Even with your eyes closed, the distinction between the two is most evident and to be honest, the difference between the two is so great that even the proverbial blind man coming upon it would see it.



“Sister, what I’m describing to you is known as the Expanse.  It is the space that separates the ultimate good from the ultimate evil; sort of like a temporary no man’s land.



“Aeryn, those who appear, immediately find themselves between the two.   For most, the choice is straightforward and undemanding as it is towards the light that they turn and to which they move.  For others, those who hesitate or doubt well…you don’t want to know for it is inside the darkness that the shadows and monsters that we fear…exist.



“It is there, just beyond the edge of the observable that It and they who serve It:  wait;  for the unwanted; for those who are refused eventual admission; or for those, who, just prior to judgment, for whatever reason, turn away and freely choose to return to a darker path.  Aeron, the impenetrable blackness is as c-umulative as is the ever-expanding light that waits for us; and each of us by our actions, will, in some manner, aid or abet either of the two.  



“We arrive and my caution to you once more is simple, sister, speak not a word for now we stand as one in the area between the blackness and the light and for the moment we are neither light or dark:  we are somewhere inbetween.  We are grey.  Aeryn Deryn Worthington open our eyes and choose to hear and see.  When you decide, move.



“I will listen as you think but remember that I cannot truly speak to you, otherwise we are found out.  Aeron, your untold experience begins.  



“Listen closely, we are hailed…stay calm.  Did I mention that when we arrive that we are naked?”


teddi

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Promises, Obligations and Consequences
« Reply #177 on: November 18, 2010, 05:22:39 PM »
“The answer to your fretfull thought of “(Are you serious?) is yes, though it is only I whom is seen, now hush your thoughts and just listen for we are not alone.



"Etiam Praefectus? (Yes Praefectus?)  Ego et populus non, non reverteretur ad tenebras, et quare non Lucius Aelius Seianus salvete me c-um scis expresse prohibit ate facere?   (It is I again…and no, I have not turned to the darkness, but why do you hail me when you know it is expressly forbidden of you to do so?)  Lucius Aelius Seianus (Sejanus), in omnes debent custodibus didici lectionem olim.  (Lucius Aelius Seianus, you among all should have learned that lesson long ago).



“Oro veniam parum pudic-um est vobis. (I beg your pardon, Sissy, it is you.)  Sed dividere est sub firmamento proxime putavi invenire tea mat.  (But, the divide of the Expanse is the last place I thought to find the likes of you).



Apologies Mea Sissy hoc tondere occursationis accidens.  (My apologies sissy, this is shearly accidental).  Sed c-um viderem te ultimumtantum Paulo ante college, ratus Relinquitur altera stantem ante introitum Amphitheatre.  (But when I saw you last, only moments ago, I thought I had left you standing before the second entry to the Amphitheatre). Numquam ego te invenire hic. (I never thought to find you here.) Quid hic nunc venistis et quam tam velox? (Why are you here now and how came you so fast?) Putabam te certo iterum confugere wuld post pellem et clama ante certamen ecce vos et sub divoc conspicienda et minus INLACRIMABILIS.  (I thought you would again seek refuge behind a curtain and cry before your contest but here you are out in the open for all to see; tearless.)  



“Lucius mi non sum in habitu convenienti nec vos umquam. (My dear Lucius, I am not in the habit of answering to you nor will I ever).    Forte c-um iterum intra me Amphitheatro etiam certiorem tui relata peccato.  (Perhaps when I again enter the Amphitheatre I should also inform Him of your now repeated transgression).



“Commodo non.  (Please do not). Immo noli, sodes culpa non volui nec volo tuo pravis solitude. (I meant no offense nor did I mean to intrude upon your solitude).  Tu iura in vagary, sicut vis.  (You are within your rights to roam, as you desire).  Sissy, si tuo consilio ante perambulat ludo ante perdis vanum ei iterum non obstrepat. (Sissy, if it is your strategy before a Game to meander aimlessly before you lose to Him again:  I will not interfere).  



“Ahha video… te iam subiere offense et displicebitis rursus mihi. (Ahh, I see…you have now taken offense and are displeased with me).  Apologia mea intima, sed nomina ferret tot tibi sunt et non mundet a Nebula memoriae.  (My profound apology, but you carry so many names with you and none have been cleansed by the Haze from our memories).  Parvulus ego videbis Aliquem offendere non volui dicere multi autem hic qui praenomen abbreviate.  (Little one, please consider that I truly meant no disrespect but many call you that shortened forename).  



“Nolui posse admodum facile solvi, paenitentiam agam fortasse ante statutam horam et ac uirenti excipiunt?  (That problem could be solved quite easily; perhaps you will reconsider before the appointed hour and accept His offer)?

 

Julius sum tui satietas nisus continuo in me PALPO deditionem nunquam cessarunt.  Usque ego certamen succedo…si opus usque in finem saeculi.  (Julius, I grow weary of your continuous efforts to coax me into submission; I will never yield).   Iuravi.  (I have sworn it.)  Usque ego certamen succedo…si opus usque in finem saeculi.  (I will contest until I succeed…if necessary until the end of time.)  Tu rursus, defecerunt nee solum ilium, sed c-um te unum sacrmentum fratum.  (You on the other hand, have failed not only Him but yourself with but one broken oath of allegiance.)



“Credit tamen cave ad fines caeli sicut finis porta Amphiathere ad. Sed rogo, putasne minus censet quam te?  (Still he trusts you to guard the boundaries to Heaven’s end as well as the portals to the Amphiathere.)   Quare?  (Why so?) Nimirum vos can non responderi rogo, putasne minus censet quam te?  (Of course you cannot answer, but I would ask you, do you think He considers less of me than you?)  



“Non puto.  Parvulus propter aliquam causam fovet vos  (I think not.  Little one, for some reason, He favors you).  



“Sissy, may we dispense with this archaic language in which you greeted me and speak together, here, and both without fear of retribution?”  



“Seianus, you have chosen the language and I consent; what we speak of here will remain between, the two of us:  proceed.”



“I understand your reason for greeting me so; it is your constant reminder to me of how much you still mistrust me.  So often, whenever I would seek you out and ask for your forgiveness always you have turned away from me leaving me alone and in misery; why so, when others who have wronged you far greater than I have fared better?  Why do you hate me so?”



“I do not hate.  It is not my nature.  Unfortunately, I cannot truly love either; thus I exist forever entrapped in the form that stands before you.”



“Then why not make an end of it; if you are so cursed, as an eternal youth who wanders where his dreams would take him?  What do you seek besides the heartache that continually finds you?   I would ask…”  



“Praefectus…answer me…truthfully…what has He offered you besides continuous service without respite for your offense?   There is no need…I will answer the question for you:  nothing; except a promise of release for an act of which you know is nigh impossible.  Therefore, I would ask you, of us two, which of us is the greater fool:  I, because I persistently try and fail or you who persistently wait for nothing in return and who can do naught concerning it.  Of us two which is trapped?



“Sissy, you are cruel to torment me so.  When I approached you now it was not my intent to insult you nor sway you to resign from the contest.  Understand, no one would blame you; lest of all I.   But it is known, that to contest with Him, even in a game of chance, one courts certain defeat and you have proved that point many times over.   When will you learn?



“Seianus, what makes you think I have not already…learned?  



“Sissy, the hour grows short and there is little time left for levity.  All too soon, you shall again enter the stadium and face Him.   I am sorry, but you will lose as you have previously for He is not known for loss and I will serve Him, as I must, it is my duty.



“Seianus, I do not question your obligation to Him; that issue is not in question. What is in question is…and I would caution you to think before you reply…if…afforded the opportunity for forgiveness and renewal would you avail yourself of it regardless of the cost?  Would you forfeit your station and move again among them as a lesser…mortal?



“No.  I will not betray Him.  I have learned my lesson.  It has been almost sixteen hundred years since I last drew breathe and in that time, I have stood exiled and barred formal entry within the Gates until I can make amends; it is His judgment.  Sissy, you know all this, why do you persist in taunting me so?”



“Seianus, at the moment I neither mock nor seek to goad you.  I knew of your timely proclivity to visit this place:   it is common knowledge that you alone patrol this portion of the Expanse; it is the appointed hour, the one in which others fear to tred.  Of your cohorts, somehow you are different, stronger, keener, ever aware and most importantly sentient; yet I surmise, that as you have marched alone you have often considered, if only fleetingly…the alternatives…to your situation.  



“May I expand for I believe your recurring words bemoaning your fate are to the effect of, “Shall I turn one way and allow myself to be taken, enter the darkness and begin anew; or continue along the path that is for me all but etched in stone?”



“Impossible!  How did…you imp…you spied…upon me!?”



“Yes, right from the beginning.”



“But how…why did…”



“Praefectus Lucius Aelius Seianus, Guardian of  the Rimland, Protector of the Eastern Expanse and Officer of the Guards, you are correct, I have watched you from a distance up to this moment and I have purposely shunned you, not from malice or out of spite but for cause. It is for that reason that I came now to this place… it was my intent for you to find at last what you have sought:  me.



“That is laughable and utterly absurd!  Despite my many efforts, you have never shown me a solitary kindness or the least of consideration.  Tell me one thing that you have ever done to aid me before this moment!  Why do you smile at me now you insufferable child!”



“Lucius, I do not smile at you but at your waist pouch and its contents.  You must understand that so long ago, after He had passed judgement upon you, of your own volition, you sat and wept upon the Wailing Stone.  When you then rose to leave you found beside you a pouch with your name upon it and the note, which explained the use of its contents and of how to fashion others, similar if not better; did you ever fully, consider the source?”



“Yes. But it was you?  Why?  And why do you seek me and why now?”



“Very well…to the point.  I ask you, Lucius Aelius Seianus to enter a compact, one of my choosing, without stipulation or exception.  A compact from which the two of us may benefit but only…if…you will…”



“No, I make no promises of betrayal but explain…and Sissy…you must understand that I am loyal to Him.”



“Seianus…Lucius…I would not have it any other way for it is your loyalty to Him upon which I would rely.  Now, come closer so that we may speak for even now the Darkness draws closer and the Sirens within would lay us both to waste.  What I propose is the following.  



“Lucius, take no offense, however, you lack a savings grace…a quality which will compensate for your shortcomings…one which would certainly endear you to Him…if…you were to succeed.  You are perplexed and that is how it should be.



“Sissy, you speak in riddles to a desperate soul.  If you have something to offer, anything which would break me free from this, I ask, no, I plead, explain what I must do.”



“Then, we two, speak in the strickest of confidence; on that I give you my word.”  



“Silentium Inturn obligavit ad vos (Inturn my silence is pledged to you).”  



“Very well.  What I propose is straightforward and has occurred many times; but unfortunately, it has never succeeded; not even once.  The game we play, He and I, and the pieces moved are as real as you or I and before either of us rolls the di we both are caused to mark each piece.  There, before me, He marks His Himself with a boon; while I must note all but two of mine with a name, each which, according to a list, I would in life would have had.  Thus if I lose a piece to him, my named facsimile is also removed from existence and is no longer mine to do with as I please.”



“And the remaining two which are yet to be named?”



“They are mine and mine alone to name.  Now, come closer and lend me your ear, as is my right before Him, I will seek a suspension of the contest:  not once, but twice.  As a rule, with each suspension, I must remove a player from the board and relinquish its life to another.  However, by doing so, it is my right to select the alternate soul to replace mine.  Moreover, with my first yielding of one lifetime, the random soul I select may be one whose incarnation is at a time and place of my choosing.  Lucius, upon the board, I may choose from any of my facimilies; even of the two that are nameless.



“Then, regardless of the choice, the contest is postponed and I must wait a period of time for that particular soul to return; be judged and then allowed re-entry to the Storehouse of Souls where it would again wait for placement within an appropriate and receptive vessel.  Dare I add if the soul fails to enter the Guff then the alternative is not so pleasant.”



“Why do I feel that I am to be the first…but you mentioned two players…if I am to be the first then who is the second?



Lucius, if you would accept, as is my right, I would choose you…for both.”



“Wait a moment.  Why?  Why me, especially after what I did to you?”



“Lucius, you surprise me, whom else is acquainted with the trappings of power and was able to move at ease within its courtly confines; while recognizing the many pitfalls that could befall him. True, at heart, you were once a most wary if not objectionable man and there was a certain amount of symmetry to your demise when they threw your corpse down the steps and tore you apart after strangling you.  However, I surmise that debt as long since paid.  That is unimportant; and that was then and this is now and I have confidence in you, that when the time comes, that though some traits may linger, that you will, do the right thing.  Afterall, it is your soul and mine that are uncertain.



“You are mad!”



“Yes, perhaps it is so.”



“Is that all there is to your…your plan?  What else is there in that scheme of yours that you have not spoken?  What else must I know.”



“Lucius that is all you need to know and all that I will say upon the matter.  The pact has been put to you and I require an answer, do you agree?”



“Just like that!? You want me to decide right here and now, without…without so much as an inkling of what you have planned or the scope of my involvement.  What guarantees can you offer me?  I will answer in your sted; you offer me none!  What must I do to ingratiate myself to Him?  Answer me!  How dare you stand there still guised as a child and tempt me so!  Tiberius was far more ingratiating to me than you!”



“Yes, and you killed him too.  So your point is?”



“The point is that I want to know everything that there is otherwise…”



“Otherwise what?  You will break your vow of silence?  Listen to me, there is no need for you to know anything more than what you do now.  Believe me ... I could choose anyone else but I have not.”



“Then why don’t you!?”



“I have my reasons, which are many and varied.  Seianus, you possess all the qualities that are necessary for success:  you are intelligent, resourceful, and at times quite inventive; yet you are prone to a fault to the trappings of power that have led to your downfall.  Besides, those with too glib a tongue have at times, swayed you and that my dear Lucius is the crux of the matter.  In short, the one I select must contain those characteristics, which would lead either him or her to the pinnacle of success or to the depths of ultimate failure and ruin.  In short, there must be the intrinsic factor of uncertainty.   He would not allow it otherwise.



“Lucius, the initial moment of uncertainty commences when you stand before Him and accept my selection.  He will want to know what prior knowledge of events is yours.  Without further knowledge, you may reply so He may assess and validate your honesty that; “As of now, truly, I know nothing.”  



“And when He asks the same of you, then what…we both fall on our swords before Him!?”



“No.  You really don’t understand do you.  He will not ask that of me.  He cannot nor will He.  Nor will He cheat me, for whatever the reason; consequently, I am above his invasive scrutiny as long as I play the game with Him.  He is honor bound, as am I.



“Lucius, He prides Himself and consequently would not seek my knowledge to gain a limited and unfair advantage; to do so would taint Him.  Besides, He understands, that for Him there is no need to do so.  Moreover, He has never taken advantage of one who fairly contests with Him.  Therefore, as long as I contest, between each roll of the di, I am free to go wherever I wish, whenever I wish, without challenge, without scrutiny and without fetters.  Those are the rules by which we play but when the di is again to be cast, I must arrive, and then, he who sits before Him will play but a part.”



“No. It is a fool’s errand, which you ask of me.  You offer me little; in fact you offer me nothing.”



“Not true, I offer you a glimmer of hope; nothing, is the extent of hope you now posses. Obviously, you are disinclined to agree therefore I will cede to you on this matter and consider the point as moot.



“I will leave you now as my appointed time to play grows near.  When I move to re-enter the Stadium, please, make certain that I am not stopped again by any of your cohorts.   You know how punctual He is.  He would not take lightly to my delay.”



“Wait a moment, why do you jest and threaten me?”



“I do not threaten, from certain experiences, which where of your making, I state the obvious.  I now take my leave of you.”



“You’re just going to walk away from me, just like that!?”



“Yes, I see no reason to continue; do you?  Afterall, you are uncomfortable not only with my presence but also with my proposal and have expressed your misgivings; Lucius I respect them, therefore the matter is dropped and I will find another, one who…ohh…never mind.”



“One who what... Sissy …what where you going to say…you cannot leave me here…not like this…what is that you would further coax me with?”



Coax you?  I…coax you?  It was not my intent to coax you nor will I attempt to sway you with promises that cannot be kept:  especially by me.  I just thought that you would consider the challenge as adequate inducement.  But I was wrong so good-bye.”



“No, wait!  There is more is there not?”



“Well…truth be known…there is one little bit of information which I may have…let us say…omitted?  There is no need to glare, be patient.  How shall I phrase this…a moment…wait…yes.   As I said, I would select only you from among all others and cede to you two consecutive lives, time and place of my choice of course.  However, I must stress again that the second selection is contingent upon the success of the first. Shall I go on?  Good, well then…



“As I stated, presuming success of the first I am then allowed to choose again; the problem is that I must live concurrently though at odds with my second choice and at times, for you, it would be most complicated; especially with the choices you would make.   Lucius, if you succeed then what is there left to say that I may be able to coax you with?  Shall I speak to you of honor or of fame?  No, not here, not now, not ever.  I would rather tender your eventual understanding to be found in the meaning of the words of triumph “Victoria Ave” as sufficient inducement.  



“There, that is all of it.”



“Well?”



“Sissy, do you remember what I asked of you before I…ran you through?”



“Praefectus, how could I forget?  I refused your order before the Emperor himself.”



At iam nunc ego verba loquar c-um excusatione asperitatis &. (Yes, but here and now I speak those words with bitterness and apologize).  Assentior (I agree).  Absolute concede sententiam tuam. (I agree unconditionally to your proposal).



Sissy…Ave Caesar, qui morituri te absolutum.  (Sissy…Hail Caesar, we who are about to die, salute you).

teddi

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Promises, Obligations and Consequences
« Reply #178 on: December 17, 2010, 04:51:57 PM »
“Sissy?  Why do you not return my hail in affirmation?  Are you in some manner displeased that you now turn your other cheek to me and walk away?  I ask you, stop, and return that we may speak.”



“Lucius, I will stop, but after all this time, why do you still offend me so?  Perhaps our accord is in error and I should release you from your vow and be gone.



“Sissy?  How have I slighted you? Why do you speak so?  I do not understand, please, turn and face me once again, if only for the moment.  As was my custom, I thought only to affirm our pact; I did not consider my words to you as…”



“Lucius, was it not my refusal to hail or utter those same words to Caesar himself which prompted his displeasure of me?  Was it not under his studious gaze of affirmation that you took your satisfaction of ridding yourself of me, at his behest?  Lucius Seianus, the impetus, the core that drives you, still:   remains.  That is also the reason why I have selected you.  You offer both Him and me a challenge.  You slew me once, but now I ask, would you do so again, even with words?”



“No Sissy never would I do so, I too am bound.  You were there and silently bore witness against me as I pleaded to Him at Judgement for another chance:  that I would never contemplate the thought of harming you ever again; nor would I do so; even if ordered.”



“So you say now, but what if you were not…”



“I swear to you here, that I have honored my pledge.  I ask you, here and now, what more can I do?”



“Well you may ask and I would reply, true, that here, and to this moment Seianus, you have been content, and have, for the most, emulated one who is contrite.   However, we both know of your dissatisfaction and unhappiness; however, what if you were not…here?  What if you were so otherwise tempted…mortally…elsewhere…what would you do?”



“Sissy, we both know what would befall me if I were to ever dare harm you again.  That is, for me, explicitly forbidden!  If I were to harm you…”  



“Yes, if you were, but then again, that eventuality is only if you managed to do so.  However, it is necessary that upon my selection, that when you come before Him again, you not feign a lapse in memory.  Therefore, as is my right, I ask that you enlighten us both again, as to what may happen if it were to occur.”



“Sissy, I do not see how this is necessary, besides, your presence at the Game…is required…I feel it is to be announced shortly…and if you should fail to appear then…”



“Then, when I am late, I will announce that you hailed me for cause; and as a result of a bargain of which we had willfully entered, tarried with your required explication of the consequences inherent with failure; thus delaying me; therefore, it will again be your fault.”



“That is Blackmail!”



“No, that is finding the middle ground.  Now explain.”



“Sissy, you…you are…a most exasperating little…never mind…have it your way; but now that I face you, has anyone told you that you are…almost impossible to deal with?  Never have I found you in one place long enough for any length of time to speak with, except for now, when it suits you; otherwise, have you always run from me.  Always when you were close, almost within my reach, have you evaded me:  peculiarly disappearing in the blink of an eye; as if upon a whim, flitting about to wherever you deem it necessary that you are moved to journey.  Constantly leaving me here wondering as to when I might finally implore you and now that I have you at this time, you …”



"You, my dear Lucius, now have my ear… proceed.”



“And you are a most vexing little…nevermind.  Be it as you wish little Caesar…to clarify…I, Lucius Seianus, understand that upon transition, that all souls must again enter the Hall of Judgement, come before Him and become self-evident.   I agree and will do so again regardless of the consequences to myself…or you.  There, I have said it.”



“No, it remains incomplete, that is but the first portion, proceed with the remainder; and Lucius, presently the sarcasm does not endear you.”



“You are indeed a niggling little sprite.  If there were another means to this end believe I would have found it rather than strike a bargain with the likes of you; I fear I will regret it.”



“Seianus, you flatter me to no end with such confidence.  Go on.”



“Hmmph. Very well.  Furthermore, I acknowledge that once within the Halls confines that one cannot halt the processional in which one finds himself as they are bound to move towards the Lord of lords and His great throne.  Sissy?  A moment.  To all souls here, this is common knowledge, especially to us both:  why do you persist in this pettiness?”



“Lucius, as we stand together, we will either succeed or fall as one.  He will want to know if you truly understand the profundity of your undertaking and as such to avoid misunderstanding; nothing, must be left unsaid.  Therefore, if you would be so kind, continue.”



“Sissy, the many times I have walked here, I have thought myself alone and as I strode I have often thought of what words I might offer to you as recompense, though I must admit, to my mind still, that none will suffice.  But now, I swear to you, regardless of what may occur that I will not contest my eventual judgement or turn away as many have, nor as I have done so prior.  Instead I will faithfully do as you ask.  Nor shall I seek an alternative path that I may hide, avoid or remove myself surreptitiously from His eventual gaze.  I acknowledge that there is but one path of movement in this matter before Him:  inexorably forward.



 â€śSissy is that sufficient or must I now revisit the unspeakable moment of Judgement yet again?”



 â€śLucius, I would simply explain that the course of action upon which we will embark, unavoidably demands that our minds eye maintains certain clarity; as such, it is necessary for us both to hear your words, make haste of your enlightenment.”



“You speak of clarity while I consider the obvious; that there is considerable peril in what we would do.  I fear this is a fool’s errand and that the Gallery of the Gods themselves shall, at our expense, laugh heartily.”



"Hmmm, Lucius you are so dour a soul, if that were the case, then consider the most pleasant consequence of our demise, as cost for our entertainment, perhaps they shall die laughing.  Continue.”



“Sissy, it would appear that I have long underestimated your impudence; is that the endearing quality of which you spoke and why He favors you?  Perhaps, at another time, I too would laugh at your irreverent humor and would find the strength to be as bold and as witty as you appear to be.  However, for some reason, you appear and sound to me more brash and impertinent than even I remember.  



“But I digress and what flowing words I might have offered to you are now lost to me.  Instead, from memory, I remember that as the processional advances, inexorably some souls, are overcome, frought with fear and cry out, as have I, as they in file approach the Throne upon which He sits, comprehending that their final moment of judgement is now upon them.  Many others, while not ovetly fearful, still approach with reticence harboring those events of which they are shameful.  Scores more, behold the grandeur that surrounds them and sullenly proceed, perceiving not only their intimate failings but also are remorsefully aware of what they had squandered in life and of what they may fail to attain; entry into his Kingdom.  Of course, there are countless others, who draw near…joyously.  Regretfully, I did not share that realization and though I closed my eyes to His appearance, fearing the Light, I, none-the-less found myself cowering in His presence; such is His majesty.  Within an instant, He knew all of me and…and…”



“Seianus?”



“And so Sissy, here I am; finally speaking aloud with you of what may befall me.   Many times I had thought it would have been better to yield myself to the darkness of hell itself rather than disappoint Him further with my persistant shortcomings.  And you Sissy…you warrant an alternative, a selection, better than I.



“Sissy, I have been judged and found lacking twice; with failure, I would be announced before all and led to Him again. Moreover, before all, He would again pass His Judgement upon me.  Sissy, consider, in this endeavor, if I were to…fail you…that you too would suffer greatly; perhaps more than I; and it would be as if it were by my hand yet again.  Understanding this with His final Word…I would be condemned; cast from Heaven’s heights and dismissed from His prescence not only as lacking but also as…unacceptable.  That would be the extent of His terrible Judgement upon me.  



“Oddly, speaking now and aloud to you, I feel that I have spoken these same words before; or, do I purely dread that loss?  Sissy, I would willingly fall upon my sword a thousand times than speak further of this as it is known what would happen to me then.



“Then the disconsolate visage we fear most, as tasked by Him, would descend upon you.  Moreover, there, before all, the fire, which springs from her soul, would sear your heart and that would be but the beginning; for then, you would fall from Heaven’s door:  never to rise again.  And then Lucius…



“And then, upon the conclusion of my plunge, nearby, within the edge of the heart of darkness, those vile souls that wait for the discarded to arrive will come forth.  And there among the damned, I would forcefully be taken, thorougly scourged and my flesh laid bare to the bone.  Then, I would find myself fastened upon the eternal fires, rendered daily limb from limb until such time as…please…little herald I do fear…and greatly.  I…



“Lucius, be at ease, the realization of that intrinsic fear is quite enough.  It is agreed, and I affirm our vow, you must…succeed…or we both inevitably will face the demons of own making.  Now we must part ways until such time, with my selection, that you are summoned to stand before Him again.”



“Little one, will you not explain further, of what role I am to play?    



“Well stated Lucius, but no.”



“Still you speak in riddles to me?  But you promised an explanation.”  



"Yes, I did and I will honor that promise at a time and place of my choosing for the all-encompassing haloed silence, which precedes His arrival, announces the necessity of my presence before Him.  Time is short Lucius and I must now take my leave of you.  



“Lucius, steel yourself, for when I go before Him I will immediately ask for the delay and from among those unamed pieces select you.  We will meet again, shortly, but only prior to your inception at the Storehouse of Souls.”  



“And then what shall we do?”



“Then Lucius, I shall tender you a name and a request; then we both shall go our seperate ways.  You, to embody the first I have selected, and I…am afraid that you must now wait not only for my explanation but also to be hailed in a manner suitable to one such as you.  



"Now, we must turn go and our separate ways, for those who lurk nearby grow restless and move closer.  Turn and turn quickly for while we have served our purpose here we have tarried far too long.”



("Little brother we are moving again away and…” No sister, as you watch him leave us you’re thoughts are absolutely wrong, we remain in place; events turn on us; besides,  I am not as callous, especially to him, as you think; for I truly do feel sorry for him and my thought to you is…“Can we”…no…absolutely not….“And why is that pray…”I told you don’t interrupt.  Because of all the places we can go we may not visit the Guff as your being…“yes…I see…I understand, my soul would be detected."



"I’m sorry, force of habit; besides I’m a little nervous, still, anyway I… ”



"Please, some peace and quiet after all we are at Heaven’s door and…"



"I know them…I know them, I know the names you would give…”  



"Oh Really?  Then I take it you have…"



"Yes, I know I believe I have it all figured…”



"No, your understanding is incomplete and…“



"Then I want to go there I want to…”



"Yes I know you do but…"



"No…I won’t, I promise…cross my heart and hope to…well…no…not yet anyway.  But I’ll be good, honest I will I promise I promise I promise.  I have to know…”  



"Sister, for the moment be absolutely quiet, I beg you.  It is little wonder that both you and your mother are as you both are.  Now, in a moment of relative calm may I expound without your constant, incessant and unremitting chatterbox interruptions.........Yes, silence at last, but for how long?”



"Be that way, but I’ll be good, you'll see, I promised.  



“Well at least think me the names so I can make sure that I was right before we get there…right now it’s the least you can do for...  Oh, sorry.”



“Yes, as am I.  Now, before you think another thing we approach the moment of your desire, the Game, and yes the names that I chose are as those you have now discerned and before you think another thought to me, DON’T!  Allow me the courtesy.  The first selected was one Nicolas Bion while the second indeed was Werhner…

teddi

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Promises, Obligations and Consequences
« Reply #179 on: January 14, 2011, 03:46:34 PM »
Maximillian.  It was necessary to establish both without generational peers while at the same time exposing each to the inherent temptations of that immediate moment; how else could either succeed without their instinctive frailties so manifestly tested?  And no, it was not “simply a self-serving act on my part” and your base thought is without merit.  Do you not understand; that there and then in the train, when he and Joachem spoke; tacitly within Maximillian he knew what would happen.  In every manner possible, he tortuously pondered the obvious, considered the various avenues and their costs and finally at last placed the interests of another above his own.  In that conflicted moment of self-sacrifice, he played the game; honored his pledge, and was, in every manner true to his oath.  Moreover, there, so doing, found what he so deeply lacked here: that savings grace, one that would not only endear him but save us both as well.  



“Sister, you have yet to understand that mortal failure is an eventuality that in this reality has always existed; however, it has, till this moment, merely passed us by.  That is why we journey:  for what would occur upon our return has yet to unfold.  Yours is the remaining wild card played that is unaccounted.



“However, your continued unease and your many thoughts to me at the moment are estimable.  Nonetheless, before we arrive enmasse, do you wish to pause and further reflect, if only for a moment; or…no, I do not jest.  My wording is accurate.  In an instant, both you and I shall visit that moment and when we simultaneously arrive there will be the others, who too shall step forth from their respective entrances; and there we shall together convene.  



“Sissy, I mean Christopher, yes stop, please stop…at least for the moment…and do forgive me it’s my stomach, but…ohh thank god you stopped I thought I was going to get sick and and…oh my that’s much better…but…”



“But…first, I apologize for thinking that you were such a cold and utterly calculating little green eyed monster of a soul…and…well…yes…a little cruel too.”



 â€śSister, your continuing Homeric epithets* compliment me to no end.”



“Now, now, I honestly wasn’t aware of such and please don’t be so testy and snide.   I admit it…I was wrong…and as far as my use of such epithets…well…for that, you do have a right to be upset with me…but…but… excepting that… I was thinking, that in what I have just witnessed that there is so much more to all of this.  



“Oh really?  Would you care to explain?”



“Yes, I believe I would and that I know, at least, this much.  That somehow, the various entries’ you speak of are exclusive and perhaps monitored corridors of passage, but only for the one who plays the Game:  thus allowing rapid access into a crucial portion of the Stadium.  Furthermore, if I too were to wager, I would presume, if only for the sake of convenience that these portals are in some widely, disparate manner, scattered about hither and yon; none within either site or contact of the other.  This means that from any direction desired, timely, immediate and if necessary surreptitious access is granted.  In a manner of fashion, it is a celestial roundabout, an infinite maze of passagways.  Now what do you think?”



“I would think: all your thoughts are presumptuous suppositions, poppycoc-k if not hearsay.”



“No, for some reason, I think otherwise. For then upon entry, it is without further hindrance and straight on to sit before Him to play what you both term the Game; and I believe that I know what you would do…or is it…have already done?  Perhaps it is both?  In any event that would bring me to what has transpired with Seianus.  It’s all beginning to come together and add up and you… you truly are indeed a mischievious yet endearing little scamp; I find myself growing fonder of you by the moment.”



“That little incident just I witnessned… you deliberately used your position to challenge Lucius outright and practically dared him to hinder your entry.  



“I did?”



“Yes you did.  In fact, you brazenly made it a point and twice went out of your way to impress upon him what would happen if he or any of his sentinels were to question your entry; thus causing you, to be late; emphasizing that the culpability would be his or theirs or both.  You planned it.  However, we both know it was but a ruse but for a greater purpose!  However, hypothetically speaking, I must admit that if successful, it would be a most clever diversion.”



“Hypothetically speaking?  I perceive a certain logic…that is…if it succeeded of course.”



“Of course you do you little mouser.  Moreover, as assurance, at almost the same moment, you belittled him.”



“As a feline? Did I now?”  



“Yes you did and as a cat you toyed with him.  You called the lot of them “cohorts” when you yourself understood that he was the responsible party who initially coined that expression and organized those who formally had comprised the Royal Praetorian Guard who surrounded Caesar.  What you just did was to use his innate fear of you to gain an advantage and while you may have not broken the rules of the game you most certainly influenced his probable course of action; or, was it his inaction of which we now speak and hoped for?  



“Mere conjecture for I spoke naught of this.”



“You’re not going to say a word about this to me now are you; very well then allow me one little moment.”



“I allow you, the seer, several, proceed.”



“The thrust of the matter is little one, that you made certain he feared not only your immediate anger, but also certain retribution to such a degree, that he and his sentries would certainly allow whomever they presumed to be you, entry to the Game, without impediment.  Of course, each of the sentries posted knows of you, if only by sight; but who among them would be able to discern the various comings and goings or subtle nuances comprised of your reflections who too I presume are lurking somewhere about:  none, for they are impossible to differentiate.



“Sister, we neither lurk nor mill for here we are at all times self-evident.”



“Self-evident you say?   Yet Seianus said otherwise.”



“Oh?  Did he now?”



“Yes…I mean no…wait a moment…wait...but a second longer…oh my.  How droll.”



 â€śYou find amusement?”



“Oh my yes indeed I do.  Wehrner probably died with a smile on his lips while laughing and you are a little scalawag! Whenever the game was to be played, Lucius thought it was you who would repeatedly hide behind a curtain and cry before the appointed time.  How positively out of character for a little soul like you.  That is what this is all about!  It is an elaborate charade!   Each of your reflections plays a part as in a play upon a stage.  And for all intent and purpose it began here, in thought, ever so long before your appearance at Gestapo Headquarters.  Was that your own mortal proving ground?  



“Hail victory.  To them, at first, it had a pleasant ring to it; but from experience and if you listened closely, it too sounded hollow.”



“With the greatest of respect, Little Sissy, I understand.  However, in Heaven, it is not as hollow as the emptiness, which mortally has ever pursued your heart, and that stratagem hatched from unspeakable experience.   But I remain puzzled as to the how it was at all possible that you were able to arrange a simultaneous arrival of those participants; what could you do that would so flawlessly summon each?”



“If you await a clever riposte nothing will be adequate to the moment.  Have you nothing to say?”



“Yes, ever the Socratic you lead me to the answer.  The logical conclusion is the clarion call of the Perfect Silence; it is that, and only that, which announces His arrival and beckons you without fail to return immediately or face the consequences.



“My goodness, I believe that I can see it all now.  Inevitably, the pervasive silence rings out and regardless of place or time it is the summoning call upon which you, it is you is it not, invariably and most faithfully return.  I must envision that in the meantime, there, at each separate portal of entry are the various sentries with orders:  to, of course, admit only you.  That is the crux of the matter for I have learned, even from my professed limited experience, that you are a moving if not motivating force.



“Therefore, somewhere, wherever or whenever that moment is, each waits for you and upon the call you move each into position.  Then what happens is palpable:  as if from out of nowhere, each enters this realm upon que, simultaneously, though each from separate portals and then, surreptitiously, each leaves; but only after there has been an exchange to you of pertinent information.  



“I could stop there but I have gleaned more.  â€śHe who sits before Him will play but a part!”  Christopher, somewhere inbetween you even manged to exchange places!  The question is not only how but also when and was it within the rules of the Game?”



 â€śSister, we remain for your benefit paused in transit to converse, but still you cut me to the quick to infer that I would so cheat.  I did no such thing nor would I contemplate cheating Him.  First, there are no written rules to the Game, only suggested guidelines, especially those pertaining to substitutes:  He deemed none necessary.   Second, it is played infrequently, and those few souls who had previously engaged Him, invariably lost on the first round, besides not another soul was foolhardy enough to take his place in midgame.



“However, your extrapolation is in part correct, how else could we gain entry without challenge?  I would answer that given experience garnered mortally elsewhere that I seized the moment and audaciously acted. I took the instruction of Homer and the knowledge of Odysseus and applied it to the moment.  Moreover, what you believe otherwise to have occurred is misconstrued:  and let me make this crystal clear; technically, not a solitary soul took…my place. At one time or another…all did.



“Now, shall we proceed to the Mirrored Iconostasis of the Stadium or do you wish to linger?”

______________________

*Homer made use of what is known as epithets.   Repetively he would interject prior to the noun or person an adjective or verb which graphically described the character’s origin, ancestry, appearance or position, a particular skill-set, rank, or heroic quality; Eg.,  Rosy-fingered dawn.  Or Catherine the great or The Great Emancipator as a substitute for Abraham Lincoln. Special epithets are used exclusively for a particular character, while generic epithets are used repeatedly for a class of characters.

teddi

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Promises, Obligations and Consequences
« Reply #180 on: February 03, 2011, 12:07:13 PM »
“If you please, I request, that we remain, if only for the moment to consider the paramount question of why?  Why in the world, or in all of Heaven, would at one time or another, any, dare take your place? What possible purpose would it serve and why would you trouble yourself to co-ordinate such an event in such a manner?”



“Perhaps mistakenly you dare imply a matter of bravado if not expediency?  Sister, understand, while too few, time is just a place and each mortal moment is indeed fleeting, I ask you to consider, though it may appear otherwise, who among us here is able to be in more than one place at a time:  certainly not I; for I too am bound by convention.”



“Yes I can see your point…certainly not you… well…at least not you alone that is but…”



“Then the seer implies otherwise; perhaps a secret intention?  If so, pray tell…postulate o’ wondrous one the obvious.”



“Why thank you for the compliment and very well then, I was just thinking, taken as a whole, if I was as capable as you, and before I continued to play the Game, I, would find it necessary to verify the countless possibilities that would occur:  only then, would I, proceed to roll the di.  Before that moment, I would have made every effort to verify, that in this reality, the one in which we find ourselves together now, that all would happen as expected.  Ergo, you would have left little to chance.  Besides, you have all but implied as much yourself:  so there you have it.  Well?



“Well?  Well? Is that it?  Is that all?  How insufferably proud you are of such an inadequate resolution:  so ordinarily trite, amazingly pedestrian and utterly wrong, off beam and wide of the mark for one such as yourself.  I expected more but here I stand in awe corrected and in error.  Conceivably, you are not as insightful as once I hope you to be.  Perhaps it is better to proffer you as a clown and remember you henceforth thusly.  â€śâ€śAlas, poor Aeryn.  I once knew her well. But cudgel your brains no more about it for your dull ass will not mend its pace even with a beating.*””



“Why do you quote Shaekspear to me now and insult me as both slow and dimwitted?  I am neither.  I thought I was perceptive enough to understand it all and in the end that I….”



“End? End? I ask to what end you would speak.  Take care seer, for I do not insult, I state the offensive vision you alone perceive in this mistaken conclusion:  is not only that of failure but also of certain condemnation. I ask, whose veiled acts of hubris, would lend them to our undoing? I would answer:  they are yours alone, one officious in the affairs of the unspoken.  Have you so soon forgotten that those probabilities had reasonably been established to a point with you becoming the proverbial fly in the ointment?  Besides which your conclusion is fatally flawed.



“But I ask you; consider the crux of the matter, that with such a presumption, those many that would have lived shall too shortly perish upon a thought:  one that is by your own hand and solely of your making.  Dear dear sister your memory of events and those words that comprised their illumination is sadly short lived and lacking the serene clarity of insight.  On the other hand, perhaps those common place acts to which you attribute key importance are otherwise and for some reason perceived are themselves…misdirected.



“Therefore, I will wait…but only for you.  When I deign it so, we shall proceed as agreed upon and in concert.  Therefore, I linger for the moment as we pause, then would turn without misstep; and in so doing, the hour hangs suspended.  Acting together…we truly do kill time as it washes clean.



“More the pity for I feel you are suddenly chilled and no, I do not threaten you, just the opposite.  Have I, your little brother, not promised to keep you unharmed?  Moreover, have I not assisted and fulfilled in part your heretofore-untapped potential?  There is no need to counter quickly…instead, here, in silence and without those attributes, for which you are noted, those persistantly unmanageable incessant mutterings and random undisciplined musings that as effluent disruptively escape your personage; please, do consider your surroundings.



“You’re being mean and dreadfully sarcastic to me.”



“No, for the moment, with you, I am and must be, frank; how else can I be when you persist in such thoughtless drivel by reiterating the obvious in this moment of need as newfound insight:  when it is neither pristine, nor focused, when others so dearly depend upon you and what must be especially obvious, terminally escapes you; as whom you would love.  What more can I do than allow you the moment to stand at ease and at last conclude what is necessary without diversion?”



“Diversion?  Diversion?  You insult me and consider my personal thoughts a distraction?”



“I do not insult; as do you, I infer. Besides, those are the discordant thoughts, which hold the truth, which for the moment chaotically flee you. Sister, many of your perceptions are still nothing more than incoherant dissonant ramblings; and as there are several at issue, admittedly some personal; shall I, as a ferret, pluck and choose that which merely suits the moment or summarily lay all to rest and allow you, through me, to begin anew?”



“You little weasel you went into my mind and read my thoughts!”



“I perceive by your stately poise and charm that I have been elevated in status and no longer qualify as merely feline; yet I did no such thing.  I merely waited for the opportune moment, that which without effort on my part would eventually avail itself.  I took no liberties…at least…not with you.”



“Nonsense!  You most certainly have; well, almost that is.  After all, you were inside me; in a manner of fashion that is.  But if you have not taken advantage of me, then pray tell of whom do you speak?”



“At last a well phrased cogent question interspersed with levity and well you may ask it for I am not at liberty to say and have so sworn; hence the dilemma.  Yet the question remains, shall we begin anew or do you posses the tenacity to resolve the conundrum.”



“I cannot allow that.”  



“You cannot allow?  How bold the thought for one so cold such as you!  How would it be otherwise, when even one such as you understands, that you alone cannot move to stop me?”



“True, but you would diminish yourself by doing so and as a consequence loose everything for even I understand that the ultimate choice presented must be mine; at least I remember that.  You have said as much and by God, I will hold you to it.  If only by chance it were so otherwise decided, I would consider the prospect; but I will not willingly let you decide my fate or that of others whom you claim in this matter depend upon my perceptions.  You cannot nor will you take from me that which you promised; moreover, I fear and I will not risk it besides which I am not frigid!”



“Honesty with risk while invoking His name…an interesting and at odds position for an agnostic. However, presently with you, I too take nothing but, a chance; though I am curious, why here would you now trust to probability or even blind fate?  It is an ethereal intimation for so would be pragmatic a soul.    Perhaps there is a glimmer of hope for us yet; but then again nothing ventured is a certainty, is it?  Well, is it?  Why so abruptly silent?  Well?  Why so silent?  Has the cat at last your tongue or is there something else; something found:  intrinsically more?”



“No, I mean yes.  I mean it’s because for once I suddenly hear…nothing…no noise…no sound…no clamor or voices that have for so long boggelled my mind…all are gone…I hear absolutely nothing except…the perfectly faultless silence…I did not understand that which is so quiet and exquisitely calm and tranquil.”



“Nothing more, is that it, nothing you add as an addendum?  No outbursts or random icy musings?  How strange the moment and odd is your newfound stillness.  Permit an observation that the tranquillity of the moment equates to your change of temperament:  balanced and at last symmetrical.  Right now, if one could truly see, as you profess, in your mind, picture a simple query:   how is it that you find yourself here no longer frightened and dare I add, on the face of it now able to believe.  



“My serene sister, I would ask your immediate and pertinent thoughts on the matter at hand for I had promised you untold experience.  However, I solicit, why so silent?  Is there something within you that precludes your insight and acc-umine?   Such a fault, if it did exist, would hypothetically, be of little benefit and leave you, or us, in the end, with little chance for success; thereby all but guaranteeing the certainty of failure; it presents a most formidable impediment.  But here we are again discussing the probability of cold chance and the odds of our success which are daunting; are they not.  Reasonably, one so gifted such as you would seek to not only lessen but also to possibly eliminate such an obstacle; and in leveling the playing field, gain certain clarity of mind, would she not?   But here we are, truly on a fools errand, together.  If only for transparency, I would again now warmly prod your…decision in yourself to trust.



“Still no reply and you remain silent as the grave.  Why so stone cold silent?  How can it be that in an undemanding moment you find yourself at last speechless?   Now would be a good time for a word, perhaps two or more would do?  Very well, remain In Situ until you perceive those inklings.  That newfound quality dear sister is to your credit; for only a fool would rush in where even certain angels fear to tred.  But then again I would ask which of us is truly the fool?  Have it your way…we shall remain in silence…a second more.”



 â€śYou must…you must be mad, no bold, no neither!  I don’t know which! You are not only foolhardy but also audaciously impudent!”



“Really? Sister, with words you have turned my head with so many compliments?  Why so suddendly voiced?  What have you found?”



“I hesitate to say it but you are one trouble making impudent deceptive green eyed proud misleading little sprite.”



“Misleading?  Sister, I’m not at all certain that I am truly all of those which you ascribe to me but with so many attributes you have roused my curioustiy, a least a little; continue.”



“Up until just moments ago, I had no idea of how…how utterly…truly…wily and sly a child you are.”



“And here I thought you were finished citing my outstanding traits; but for the record and through no fault of my own I only look like a child.  In sum, I am after all, old.”



“Yes I remember what you said, you’re older than me.  My sincerest apologies elder; of course, I understand that you are, after all, very very old.”



“Did you just insult me?”



“No, take it as a compliment for you wear your age well.”



“I had little choice in the matter.”



“Yes, on that you had none what soever.  But, putting that aside, I know now what you did!”



“Do you now.  Dare I ask in this newfound moment the obvious question of “What did I do?”  Moreover, will your thoughts at last be cogent and applicable to the moment?”



“I will explain what I perceive and take no offense; but before I do for some reason I hear through the silence an overpowering voice which declares “I definitely have a sense of humore”…and…and…“little angel she is your proof of it; but once was enough; go home.”   Sissy…I hear Him laughing!

__________________

*  Hamlet, Act 5, scene 1, lines 50 -59.

teddi

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Promises, Obligations and Consequences
« Reply #181 on: February 23, 2011, 04:35:28 PM »
“Laughter?  Laughter?  Pray tell how that can be while I hear naught sound or word. Would you at this moment, convenietly have me believe that He would now speak to me solely through you?  Dear sister, most certainly this is not the time for presumptuous “idol” humor; besides it peculiarly assumes that of us two, you alone, are too an entitled intimate soul with Him.”



“Yes I mean no.  Sissy, I mean Christopher; please do not play your word games with me.  You went out of your way and warned me of others who would know of our presence yet conveniently omitted His omniscient prescience and as a gullible fool, you took me in and led me straight away here.  Moreover, the obvious contradiction was evident from the first.  You knew what would happen to us before we arrived; you said as much and I not only refused to listen to you, although I had no thought as to the capacity of your endeavor; nor of what He really thinks of you and before you acerbically chastise me again for my shortcomings, I ask, stay your acid tongue.”



“Your hearts desire is now mine; proceed.”



“Admittedly, all of the hints and double entendres along the way, were for my benefit and as a fool, I looked past each.  I understand I was truly sightless; now perhaps, I am no longer.  This trip, this excursion to another realm is more than I had hoped for; thank you.  I ask we return home before something untowards occurs; namely that I would loose myself again.”



“Loose yourself?  How drol; the all-seeing doubter, a self-admitted fool, now finds she fears loss and would loose the intangible, when it is that very fear of the indescribable which has caused her to be here.  Very well but before I can take you home there must be no doubt; therefore I will ask in all seriousness:  what do you really know of it all?”



“I know more now than I had bargained for and that without a helping hand I might have ruined it all for you.”



“I see, said the blind one, but this most certainly is not the time for light humour.”  



“You are indeed a rascal, little gnomon, but I now believe it is the proper time; for He told as much and what misconceptions I might have had are no more.”



“The agnostic now claims to speak with the voice of Authority; how disconcerting.”



“Yes, but what is more perplexing is you.  Sissy, what I have relayed was not all of what I heard from Him, somehow, there in a flicker of light, with every word he spoke, He showed me what occurred between you two just as if over time, I was actually there.  He made it clear that even before the Game began, every move you made regardless of time was meticulously plotted and your every spoken word was in itself, relevant and purposefully cryptic; and overtly, it began with a solitary act of kindness involving the forgiveness of Seianus.  



“Understand His thought of you from the first was far removed from His portals and entailed more than that of a veiled pixie; one merely garbed in golden splendor that would stroll throughout His ethereal realm; to Him, you were one which He understood waited patiently for a cause.   Sissy, for some reason, from the very first, you had piqued his curiosity.   When you arrived, He waited for you and allowed you free reign long before the first roll of the di and from that moment on, whether others surrounding Him were aware or not, to Him, the Game was afoot.  You were to become His conundrum.  



“Patiently He waited for any sign or warning that would portend inherent evil within you; but you provided Him none.  In fact, it was just the opposite.  He sat and watched from afar as you collected Lucius’ tears as they flowed from the base of the Wailing Stone and then hastily secreted them away.  Admittedly curious as to the time you would do something, He waited for that moment.  He knew that eventually they would be presented and judged to the extent of their regret.  Until then He stayed His hand and did nothing.



“Unknown to Him, in secrecy, from a prior moment, determined by youself, Seianus’ forgiveness became part of your endeavor; but only a small portion of your grand plan.    Ingeniously, you sought to insure its success; but to do so, one needed to be not only above His imperious scrutiny but also able to move without hindrance or impediment. Reasonably, you conjectured that the Game would provide you that opportunity where, prior to selection, you would altruistically present those tears to Him for judgement:  an act of kindness became in itself a gambit.  From that moment on in some manner, away from scrutiny, you extrapolated each separate contingency.



“Ages later, eventually finding success in the incarnations of Bion and of Maximillian your eventual plan unwearyingly proceeded as envisioned.  Through it all you conspicuously flouted but few of your many abilities to those about you:  choosing to remain apart from others so that on occasion you could move unobtrusively through time and take only four trusted others with you.  Through it all, except for the One, Who though slightly disbelieving of your capabilities, none others in Heaven was the wiser.



“Of course, He understood that the general rules or guidelines of the Game aided if not abetted in your ruse:  or is the better term to use, your use of misdirection in order to gain some manner of advantage; but still He remained pleased with your imagination and initiative.  From there He understood and accepted the actuality that misdirection, if not slight of hand, would become a key to your developing reality.  Sissy, He was pleased at your progress for who else could be in more than one place at a time.  Admittedly, certainly not you alone, but now He understands that with the assistance of certain others, who, at key moments could and did sit at the table and speak in your stead it became …very controllable.  



“Of course, as per the rules, ostensibly, He more than honored his obligation and again, though suspicious, He never challenged those who, as you have said, did play but a part; as for all intent and purpose, each was a mirror image of you and for those in attendance; none except perhaps He was the wiser.  He reasons that somehow, some time prior, you had concluded that without his pervasive insight, he never would realize the subterfuge and even He did, He still had the upper hand:  you were, for the most, correct.



The many times as you sat before Him and the Game progressed the more who followed the Game knew more of your past; especially of your encounter with Odysseus who hid within a wooden horse; however unknown to all, you elected to hide in His plain site.  As a matter of course, eventually over time, despite the sum of what would be bartered, there comes an end to every game; a final accounting, a reckoning must take place, and the Game you played with Him was, in that respect, no different.



“When that inevitable moment arrived the all encompassing silence rang out; calling all in its splendor:  Attend.  Unknown to others, all whom you simultaneously summoned too, did so as well.  He muses that for some reason none were challenged or delayed upon entry; now He knows why.



“Shortly thereafter, and most certainly as seen by all, He muses, that lone entity which so hesitantly entered the stadium…was not you.  Truthfully, you spoke when you stated you were not able to be in two places at one time; therefore, at that moment, the indescernible likeness of your choice had taken your place, but only after conversing communally with the others who entered the same anteroom.  As had become the norm, just prior to the grand entry, each would exchange information and after entry thereafter disperse.  He now finds it equally amusing that unknown to all, others too in your stead, had similarly played previously; thus affording you the opportunity to play and research almost simultaneously and without notice nor without breach of the rules.  If only for that, He considers you a most enterprising soul.



“Be that as it may, it is on this last occasion, your pronounced facsimile entered, and as was the norm; paused for an acceptable period of time and looked about and warily acknowledged all.  Then, further took in the moment and with arms raised, turned full circle and proceeded to stand before the great table upon which the board and pieces lay.  Sissy, at that moment, all present knew of your form and to each there, there was no doubt of who stood before them or contended:  all presumed it to be you:  including Him.  



“Of course as was and is His nature, in radiance, He simply appeared, fully seated high upon His thrown; leaned forward with grace acknowledging the presence of who He assumed to be you with a stately bow of His head.  Then, with a wave of His hand directed at the cushion, motioned to you “Be seated” and then both who sat at the table played but a part.  Sissy, it is the Rule of Law in Heaven, that when he nods His assent, it is a bond an unbreakable affirmation if not corroboration of His acc-umen.



“At that moment, all in attendance understood that the inevitable role of the di was then to occur; but only after the reiteration of the wagers’ ultimate stakes:  forfeiture, acceptance of defeat, submission or the unlikely event of winning; and the latter was summarily dismissed by all, including Him.   Upon His nod, His opponent sat and then without word, for some reason, both smiled simultaneously at each other; as if a secret had passed between the two.  



“Upon doing so, the murmur of those in attendence broke the silence for they understood what was to occur.  Presumably, you would again role the di and loose, for rightly they presumed that probability and fate would dictate as always the result; and so they bartered amongst themselves.  They were right, but oh so wrong.   Everyone had underestimated you including Him.  None dare dreamed of your brashness.



“The lynchpin of that brazen escapade upon which you embarked is simple; faith was your achor, you knew what was commonly known and utilized it; that not even He would break the rules of the game and subject you to scrutiny to gain unfair advantage.  It is upon that which you played your remaining wild card of faith:  a decision in yourself to trust a second more than…



“But here again, I must reiterate, before you proceeded, knowing that every thought was indeed your own; your every movement would go unchallenged and your every appearance would be taken for granted; you embarked upon your undertaking.   Testing it to a point, you found that each of the indiscernible likenesses of you was accepted for what it was:  you.  However, here, at the last, the most difficult role-played would now occur.  



“But that once again brings us back to immediate and most pressing moment.You would have to verify that you wished to proceed in the selection of whom you would choose to be your mother:  if, you won the Game, that is.   Understanding that you could not be in two places at one time, it became crystal clear, that the need to verify the selection immediately prior to the roll was paramount to success for you could not select incorrectly.  



“He tells me that within the rules of the Game in order to succeed, one must not only willing risk all upon a wager, but also, willing to intangibly bow them ever so slightly to insure success.  In short, you needed to gain an edge over your opponent:  something inalterable to rely upon, something itself:  unbeatable. To His mind, there was none. To yours however there was.  Paradoxically, that is where your once stillborn twin sister Crystal enters.



“The part she played was no small role but was as a mime that hid many times behind curtains and cried just loud enough to be found at the opportune moment; one well versed in tears; and one, not fully separated from her brother at birth, who chose to grow and follow his lead regardless of where it takes her.  As she stepped forth from him, she too was repeatedly mistaken for the beautiful little boy, whom, according to all, would predictability lose.  I am told that true to form, as she sat at the table before Him she did what she did best:  first, the tears rolled from her eyes as a trickle, then moved gently down her cheeks; she made it a point to wipe each away and sniffle as if in distress.  Soon thereafter, she then wept uncontrollably; and the murmur throughout the Gallery of the Gods was discernable as they snickered:  â€śLook, Sissy again cries.”  After half-heartedly composing herself, she baited the trap, which you had laid, when she then made several weak attempts to take the di in hand but pulled back each time. Little one, He claims you had coached her well, especially driving home the point, that once the di had been touched that the inevitable roll could never then be delayed; they could never be placed down, they must be thrown.  Reflecting upon it…He is amused.



“Time and again each masked attempt to take the di purposely came up short and with additional attempts the contorted indecisiveness grew more pronounced until at some point with each agonizing endeavor, words were mouthed, but never spoken; for to do so may well have given the game away too soon.  In any event, no lips needed a jewelers’ eye to discern their heartfelt meaning, though each as in a torrent was cleary evident.  â€śâ€¦decision, decision, a decision…just trust, trust, just trust yourself, yourself, wait, wait, wait, I need, I need, I I need a, second, a second more, a second more, wait, not yet not…”  



“All remember that during a Game that such a sorrowfully tragic event as this had never, never ever, occurred before…and they were right because He was moved and out of concern and kindness to one so young, offered with voice alone…an unprecedented act of kindness…that, of course would be accepted.  Nevertheless, all in attendance were aghast for few had actually heard His voice during a Game, only His many simultaneously directed thoughts to them.



“I am told that not only the stadium but Heaven itself shook with the sound of His voice gently inquiring, “Your decision?  Little one, I offer without additional penalty a modest recess; do you require a second more to decide?”  



“Sobbing, almost inchoherently, she merely nodded, accepted forthwith and then ran off to the anteroom feigning utter humiliation and embarrassment along the way; while  knowing the trap had been sprung.  When she entered, there you stood with a smile on your face for all the while you had researched whom you had chosen, had met her and now would proceed to conclude the game on your terms.  You were certain of your choice.



“There, while waiting patiently to be summoned back to contend, you sent Crystal to the outer most regions of the entries knowing that once you had again entered that the need for guards would be again be useless; as you would be under His gaze, they would have withdrawn and she could leave without notice.  And so it was.



“By the by, only mere seconds had passed when you heard the calling and oh what a role you played for as you entered you cried as easily as your sister and with tears flowing proceeded to once again stand at the table before him.  â€śWell?” He intoned looking down upon your diminuitive form, “Your decision?  Do you maintain a decision in yourself to trust?”  



“Of course you did.  And as you looked up to Him with outstretched arms you spoke ever so softly, none-the-less it was heard by all and with but the slightest quiver in your voice, “No, all mighty One,” you replied, “I…I accept…your…your act…of…of of of kindess…a decision…a decision…”  



“Wishing to be kind, and spare you any further agony, He precipitously nodded His immediate assent before your next stammering word could be completed; thus interrupting your tortured words to him.  The moans of those who sat and watched were quite discernable for they had experienced what had transpired before them.  All knew then what was to occur:  you would accept defeat and submit.  That is what they knew then.



“Of course, that is not at what occurred for it soon became evident what you had done; you had purposely spoken that way and offered Him what you would call a...pregnant pause.  You bet all upon an act of kindness, one upon which you could rely. That opportunity afforded itself and you closed the trap that over time you had lain.



 â€śYou waited a respectiful period of time, raised your hands to Him and then inquired so masterfully of Him, “O great One, forgive me but as You well know, I had not completed my personal thoughts to You on this matter.  Therefore, that You would know what I now would speak is such as what I would have, I relinquish the veil of my thoughts to your examination and to all others who view in attendance.”



The comprehension of what He had done was not lost upon Him nor to the others in attendance:  especially those dour souls who comprised The Gallery of the Gods.  He would never break His own Word.  Nor dismiss a given pledge.   Nor, would He cheat at a game of chance for as was the norm He never lost.   But, He had interrupted you and He would have to listen to what He knew would be unparalleled and as He sat upon His throne He began to smile.



“It was then you proceeded, understanding your victory was close at hand.  Eloquently you addressed Him with, “Sire, O Mighty One, You had prior to my brief respite graciously offered me a second more...which was immediately accepted and by Your authority confirmed.  I complete my thoughts aloud that all may hear and know what we both have now agreed to.  My Lord, I will complete my thoughts as follows, "I accept...a decision in Yourself to trust...a second more...than I…You must.”



“He understood what you had done and took the di from your hands when you presented them to Him.  Without a word, He rolled them for you and of course, since His is the pat hand, The Game was over and you had won. He tells me that since then nothing has been quite the same.



“That is what I know now.  Now, can we go home?

 

The more you give, the more I can give back.

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Website, forum design, software, & security on this site is copyrighted. It was made personally by Betty Pearl, of Betty Pearl's Pubs, Sissy Stories, buffalobetties, pearlcorona. Betty's Pub is a non-profit organization & support group for the transgendered, & Fetware community. We don't sell anything, & we don't data mine your personal information & habits to sell like MOST other sites do. We respect your privacy & won't sell it out for a few bucks.

Site for: Sissy Stories, ABDL Stories, Sissy Art, Crossdressing, Transgender