Promises, Obligations and Consequences

[teddi]

I looked in the mirror at my sister's face.  Astonishment!  I read her clearly, "damn....you had the balls to say that! And, and you never stuttered!"  Smiling,  I silently nodded at her reflection.  



I pointedly ignored Mom and Dad....and spoke up..."Sis...you said you were gonna comb my hair....still wanna?"  



She took my cue, removed both barrets, and proceded to brush it back...this time in what she silently described as a more "stylish fashion."  I knew what she meant ...but didn't really care....least wise not that much.



I glanced over to where my parents still stood in absolute stunned silence - and spoke without really acknowledging their continued precence.  "Ya know, this is my room, at least it is for now....so for right now I don't want to talk to either of you, in here, anymore, least wise not yet.  I'll come downstairs in a couple of minutes.....so if you both wanna talk then.....I'll listen and maybe even reply....they left without a word being said by either.

[teddi]

MY abject dismissal of Mom and Dad worked its was across Christina's face.  Shaking her head she quized me.



"Do you now what you just did?!  Chris!  you just dissed both of them!"



I fired back just as quick...."so it's o.k. for them to do it to me...because I'm smaller?  Is it o.k. to feign their comfort, while actually, dismissing me as a mental deficient?  Besides, I'd rather get punished by them, than face Athena....knowing what I should have said and didn't because of me being a coward, too afraid to stand up for what I know is the truth."



Looking at the clock on my nightstand I shrugged my shoulders and whispered...."gonna be a long night.  My butt is gonna get blistered, I'm already wrung out and still,  still I have to go to sleep....do I dream all the nightmares again....or ....do I start new ones?



"Guess I...  well.... we... if you want to..... might as well go downstairs.  As I left Christina I turned to her,  wait a min.....I don't think you want to be near me when I go down....they might assume you knew what I was gonna say.   So for now....steer clear. K?



I never waited for her to reply and tried to tune her out.  I nervously stepped  down the twenty two treds....and counted each as I moved downstairs.  Again, both Mom and Dad sat in the dining room.  This time, however, there was not an animated one way discussion in progress.  



It was quite obvious that I, upon reaching the last step, had gained their undivided attention....and would remain the focal point of what was to happen.

[teddi]

Walking towards them I read no outward sings of them really being pissed at me. Instead, through their silence, long faces and now bleary eyes I instead....felt some sort of sympathy....for them both.



With resignation, of what was surely to occur, I asked...."Should I get the paddle now or do I have to wait until later?



Dad's reply was immediate...."No...there'll be no paddle now or later.   Please sit.  O.K?" I greatfully acknowledged his statement with an audible  sigh of relief ..... and took a seat directly opposite them both.  Mom's mascara was running and her ever so self-assured composure, which she normally exhuded, was gone.  I didn't feel very good about that...and started to tear up.  I cringed at seeing her...I really didn't want to make her cry.  Honestly.  Dad looked whipped, as if something was eating at him ...besides me mouthing off.



Whereas Mom was almost always the one to lead the way..... tonight was different.  I started to speak but Dad cut me off.  "No... let me...and do not interrupt....  Chris, neither I or your mother will ask you to take back or deny any portion of what you or your sister have told us this evening.  And yes,  our difficulty in believing is....self serving.   Regretfully neither of us had even paused to lend your nightmares or stories  credance.  And you were right...a childs dreams or nightmares are all to easily dismissed by those who should instead understand and in many cases believe that what they saw is indeed all too very....very real.  



"Admittedly, it is difficult for a supposed grown up to believe ...... no ...that's not really right to say.  What is right to say is our faith in you and Christina was lacking...and regretfully that our need to believe in something mystical or so wonderful was so sorely lacking..... for a very long time.  



He broke from his train of thought and told Christina to sit down beside me.  While sitting, she thought out loud..."I was right behind you all the way...never caught up with you until Dad started....remarkable!"



Dad smiled fondly at her .... then continued.

[teddi]

Dad shook his head, side to side, and went on.  "Chris....I didn't know I was going to get the check, the one you said I had in my wallet, until this afternoon.  I didn't have time to tell your mom and I certainly know I didn't tell you.  The check was a bonus for closing a very important business transaction.  Yet you knew I had it.  Only three other people knew I received it.  My boss, his secretary and the accountant who wrote it...and I don't think any of them called you up special to tell you.  So.." he trailed off and actually whispered...."how did you?"  



"And...."stinky?"....there's only one person that's ever called me that.  A long long time ago....so again I'll ask .....how did you?"



I replied..."I told you....Athena told me.  And I'll start with your last question.  That one is easy...I didn't realize how prophetic my statement was.  You kissed a girl after a track work out and she called you stinky....you thought it was because you were sweaty and smelled bad.  But really Dad everyone called you that behind your back.  You were such a great guy that they didn't want to hurt your feelings by calling you that  name to your face....sorta like a pact among friends that stayed there."



Dad's face betrayed his unspoken puzzlement?  I looked over to Mom...she was taking this all in.



I continued...."Dad you were a crop duster."  As soon as I said it Christina rolled off her chair and was in hysterical laughter on the floor.  I know that a broad grin was now written all over me and that I was about to erupt in uncontollable laughter as well.  It was obvious that neither Mom or Dad had a clue about what the term meant.



I couldn't help myself and burst out laughing as well.   Now in halting speach....I explained....giggling and grinning as I did....and at the same time I wet my diapers down.  Geez even laughing too hard does it to me!



"Dad....a....a....crop....crop....duster.....is....is.."  Dad interrupted with "but I've never flown a plane, and certainly, not in high school!"



With his response...I couldn't help my self, I rolled out of my chair  and joined my sister howling with glee on the floor..... Dads reply only served to increase her outcries of uncontrolled merriment......my sides were aching as I tried to catch my breath and gasped....."n..no Dad, you....you...don't under....stand....a crop....cropduster is someone...someone who....who....oh....geez Dad...its someone who cuts farts and walks away from them!!!......and thinks that....that nobody's seen or heard...them.....you....yours....were always..... always silent but really....really .....deadly!  Every....every where you...went you'd leave...leave a.....a...vapor trail!!!

[teddi]

"As the moments passed, so too did our uncontrolled laughter.  Christina hit me with the thoughts that maybe Dad wasn't taking this at all that well. "Maybe your right," I rejoined.  



I broke away from the floor and crawled back over to the chair I had been sitting in.  I perched myself on both of my elbows and snuck a peek over the table top...there ...I saw both Mom and Dad doubled over....in silent laughter.  Mom was crying and Dad was a bright beet red.



I quickly resumed my seated position, as did Christina, and waited to answer the second question.  Eventually they both regained some measure of composure and smiled until I went on with my second answer.



My eyes started to water again as I explained...."Dad....

[teddi]

"I...well....the first question you asked....isn't maybe what you want to hear....all I know is that "She" told me to tell you...... that... you had a big check in your wallet.... that, "yes, you earned  what you had, but it wouldn't  buy what you wanted it the most for".... I really don't know anything else about it.  Dad started to say something, looked to Mom, she nodded back at him and whispered...."honey...it's alright..don't cry... tell him."  



He turned and  looked so pitifully at me.  "Chris...I...I...worked really hard for it, damn I busted my butt for it!!!.....but...it was never going to be mine....it was....was going to be for.... an operation for you.....to...to.."



"DAD....STOP.....DON'T....PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE....PLEASE DON'T..." I paused to whisper....."I ...I....know.....guess I'll always have more room in my underwear than ....."



I hung my head and cried....Crap!!...I had thought it was something to really get Dad's attention with....but actually.....it was mine.

[teddi]

Chapter 4





I guess...as I started feeling sorry for myself...my head started to spin....."I'm never gonna grow up and be a man....just gonna stay a ....a....cloned image....well .....another "just great" nightmare that's gonna come true...at...at least...they're.... they're not going to throw me off a cliff and ..... and watch me hit the ground....yea....that one gets me going....and I know they're not gonna chase me down and ....and...." I felt a nudge on my shoulder...Christina was talking to me....softly...."Chris?  You alright?"



I tried to open my eyes but....really....I couldn't stand to look a her or Mom and Dad.  "No...not now.....honest...I don't ....feel all that good.....so before I get sick....before you came up Mom wanted to know what "wow-wows" were.....they're....they're the sirens on police cars....when they're in a hurry to get someplace they turn them on....so's you hear 'em go "wow-wow."  And, and her ha..having twins...."She" said "don't....have them."



"I think, I ....really need to go to...to bed....may I please be excused?  I wasn't gonna wait for a reply....started to get up but had one thing to say and clear up before I did.  



Christina....this...this....afternoon....I...I....yelled at you...."you couldn't make me"......go with the picture girl....that's really ever so true.....no one's gonna make me....I....I...gotta make myself.



"But...but...can...can I meet ....meet her.... here....before I ...ah...we....oh geez....I don't want...couldn't stand to....melt down....at...at school.



I teettered-totted when I tried stand....my legs gave way and ....the....the  next thing I knew I was being carried up the stairs by Dad...I pushed my head to his shoulder and sobbed into it....."Daddy....