Author Topic: Promises, Obligations and Consequences (Read 144318 times)

teddi · « **Reply #49 on:** March 30, 2008, 01:31:34 PM »

I don't remember anything else. When next my eyes opened, I found that Mom was sitting beside me reading a book and that....there was someone in bed with me....of course....Christina's thoughts ran through my head. She gave me a silent entreat to waken - "c'mon...wake up...ohhh - please wake up." "I am...what....what happened?" She began her silent narration of last eve's activities after I had dropped from exhaustion.

"First off, Daddy, carried you up stairs. Put you to bed. Me and Mom changed your diaper. We didn't want to wake you, like we really could - you know?...so's Mom had me get you one of my night shirts...."

I cut her short...."you mean I'm wearing....a...a...nighty?" As soon as I said that Mom's eye's moved from her book to me....but said nothing....she was gonna let my sister and I talk. Christine's silent narration went on..."yea, it's one of the new ones I bought last week...pink with a ruffled white lace collar and ever so short sleeves which come off the shoulder about four inches....they're bordered the same as the collar. And over your heart is the cutest little hand stiched lavender and white butterfly.

"Don't say a word until I'm finished then you can whine!" I merely nodded....what else could I do?

"Anyhow, we talked for a long time - we had to - and, yes, it was about you....Mom's gonna tell you what....what was decided. I didn't think much of what they concluded but, both of 'em said that you had made a deal with 'em and you'd promised to do what ever the decisions might be....so they're gonna hold you to it.

Oh, and I called Melinda....she and her mom are gonna be over here about three this afternoon. So....you can see her in person. K?"

I sat up and looked at Mom ...then the nighty I was wearing...."Mom? a pink nighty....why not just a "T" shirt? I mean...." She hushed me...bringing the first finger of her right hand to her lips.

teddi · « **Reply #50 on:** March 30, 2008, 02:15:33 PM »

Mom spoke softly, yet ever so directly at me....."listen carefully and don't argue with what decisions have been made." As I shook my head, I shrugged and returned her solid gaze with a quizical look.

"You remember when you asked to do somethings in school....and in return....promised not to argue whatever decisions that were made? You remember...don't you? "Yes ma'm...but ....I didn't or was a part of whatever decision that was made....and what decision was made?"

A smile crossed her face....."Chris....there was never any mention that you were to be a part of the decisions that were made....only that you'd abide by them...and not argue as to their finality. Now think....am I telling you the truth....isn't that what you agreed to?

Dumbfounded, I could only nod yes. "You mean, that ...that ....you and Dad....tricked me?" "No....no trickery....you agreed of your own free will...so now....will you keep your word or not?"

The names of Morgan, Bartholomew and Barbossa went racing through my head. I muttered...and mumbled stuff about trickery and not being fair....guess it wouldn't make any difference now.

Dad walked through the door, never said a word, just looked at Mom and Christina.

I didn't know what I was agreeing to....but felt I was bound by the deal I had made with both of them. Regretfully and with considerable trepidation said...."I agree to your decisions....but .....don't I get to know what I'm agreeing to? After all....."

teddi · « **Reply #51 on:** March 30, 2008, 09:44:19 PM »

She nodded...then began...."Quite reasonable a request. Listen...and do not interrupt....all of us are aware of your conflicted fealings. This decision is not to humiliate, punish or in any way cause further distress to you. It is however, one which your father and I, hope will clear your thoughts....as to your living life as a girl or seeking other means to hopefully make you secure in your being a boy.

"From this afternoon, after your visit with Melinda, you will assume the role of Christina's younger sister. You will dress as a girl during the day and a portion of the evening...for the next two weeks.

"Moreover, until you can sleep five consecutive nights without a wetting accident you will wear diapers to bed.....all of your clothes, except for the pants you will wear this afternoon....have been locked away. What you wear, every day will be determined the night before you wake up.

Besides evening diaper changes....your sister will assist in dressing you and help with your make-up. You will assist in the kitchen, both in the preparation of meals and the subsequent clean up which follows."

Christina's thoughts cut in...."damnit Chris...I tried to talk them out of this...but they wouldn't listen....said it was time for you to face life!" I blurted out "face life!....what the hell do they think I've been doing for so long?!!"

Mom looked to Christina...."don't distract your...."sister"... with your thoughts...they'll only serve to complicate the situation." Christina would have none of her explanation....."That's all a bunch of crap! and both of you know it! He didn't do anything to deserve what you both are gonna lay on him! Sure I'm gonna help him and I'm gonna talk to him, my way, and there's not a damn thing you can do about that!"

Dad walked over and stood beside Mom.....I was thunderstruck and couldn't believe what she just told me....."not right, its not right....it's my choice to make...not yours or Dads....so I'm confused...I admit it....but now you've got Christina involved....and for what!!...to...to....oh crap! shit! and every other word I can throw in right now....."face life"...you want me to face life!....you both don't know half the nightmares that kill me everynight. Yea, I told Christina that they were really, really bad....and... she...she believed me. I never told her the parts that would really scare the hell out of her! I kept 'em all to myself! You don't want me to stress....bullshit! All this is...is....payback for me mouthing off to both of you last night!

teddi · « **Reply #52 on:** March 30, 2008, 10:44:17 PM »

"You both said I couldn't argue the decision...well I'm not!

"I'm arguing the reasoning behind it! It suc-ks! I never realized how shallow and unhonorable you both are!

"Your both supposed to love me and Christina...but instead you demean her by making her do stuff she doesn't want to do....and take one of my most feared nightmares and turn it into some warped sense of accomplishment....for me t..to...t...to "face reality"....bullshit!!"

"You know ......I'm gonna wear whatever you s..set out ....but....but....I'm gonna be a real bitch!....

"And I'm sure as hell not gonna forget this!! You wanna turn me into some kind of sissy!! Well your not and I'm not!

"Both of you would puke if you really knew what my nightmares were like!!.....Or maybe you don't think they're all that bad....I asked you both to leave my room last night....and I'm gonna tell you again....GET OUT...JUST GET OUT...PLEASE.....JUST LEAVE."

Dad started to talk, and, I guess he thought better of it. Mom again started to say something but Dad said "No....let it be...lets go downstairs...he looked at me and inquired, "You will be down for breakfast, won't you?"

"Yes sir, I'll be down soon."

teddi · « **Reply #53 on:** March 31, 2008, 09:08:47 AM »

As they left I turned to my sister...."I know...that you brought up what you said to me ...last night...about fitting in..... cause I look like you was a nice way to try and help me...and...and...that you didn't think what they did after you went to sleep was.......was........very nice........can I...I just be alone for a minute or t...ttwo. I...I...jus...just need some t..ti..muh alone.

As she nodded her consent, she paused and gave me a light kiss on the cheeck. Then proceded to storm out of my room and literally seem to fly down the stairs...I never felt her so angry before. While I wanted time to collect myself... her thoughts were ever so clear and ever so angry...that I never got the chance too really be alone. For the first time ever, not only could I read her mind....but also seemed to be able to see what she was looking at. She came face to face with them both and exploded.

"How could you do such a horrid thing! I told you both that I had breached the subject with him....why didn't you listen...why didn't you let him make the chioce on his own terms and conditions...NO! you had to go in like thieves in the night and steal his clothes!

"To you they're just jeans and shirts....but to him....they're what matters the most....his connection to being a boy!.....and did you do this brave and honorable deed while he was awake....OH NO! ...when he was the most vulnerable you both ripped him off of not only his clothes but also whatever confidence he might have had to make his own decision!

"For what! You really think that two weeks is gonna cure him?! Are you both gonna wave some majic wand and sprinkle fairy dust on him and expect anything but hostility in return! He was right! You two ARE a pair of cowards!

"Mom...how callous, demeaning and condescending are you? You'd sit in his room and dictate terms and conditions to which he was not involved in....as he is just awaking from another night of terrible dreams....Did you even notice his eyes or look at his pillow? He cries in his sleep....and the pillow isn't wet because he suc-ks his thumb...it's wet because even in his sleep he is terrified and weeps!

"And, in such haughty, almost gleeful a fashion, and with an all too wicked a smile, sit as if judging him from a throne, ask him if he remembers what he promised? What guile and such trickery to use on someone you supposedly love!

"Dad...was your concern so shallow that when he told you the operation wouldn't work....dissolve? Were all those nice words you told him so much crap?!! He might only have one testicle....but he's alot more of a man than you are! A lot braver and....and....oh...shit....you both suc-k major league!!

"What's gonna happen when his friends come back from vacation and he has to meet them dressed like a girl. Did you ever consider that he'd be trashed not only by them but in school too? Oh sure, he hasn't come home with any black eyes from school....yet.

I'm really, ever so ashamed of both of you...how could you?

teddi · « **Reply #54 on:** March 31, 2008, 12:41:34 PM »

"How could you?! I'm only in the eighth grade but from what I know....he's the most trusting and unfortunately for believing you'd never hurt him, gullible child I know.

"I can't think of a thing he's ever said or done that wasn't truthful or honestly performed and without reservation for both of you! And how do you repay him?....by shredding his hopes? His fondest desire? To use his very confessions against him as a tool to achieve a time certain outcome to ease both of your "burdens?"

I reached my sisters side as she went on and tried to halt her explosion...."Christina....I think you gotta stop. Honest....ya gotta..."Now she cut me off! "Chris...SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET!" I took the chair to the left of her. She looked at me and began to smile while placing her hand on my right shoulder.

Perhaps you both can show some compassion? After all....your the ones who reached this decision....why can't you....stretch it a bit....and maybe not be so draconian?"

I was truly befuddled...what the hell was she talking about now....dragons?

As my brother's representative, since I've been charged with changing his diapers, dressing him and doing his make up and I'm sure alot of other crap your were gonna blast both of us with....I suggest a modest change in agreed to terms or conditions. As he has already agreed to your noble bullshit, I don't think it'd be any skin off your collective butts to modestly alter some of the one's you set.

Specifically: first.. you hang his clothes back from where you both stole them....and to the dresser from which they came....second....that...and it may be presumptuous of me to conclude this, the various girls clothes you were going to buy for him to wear will also hang in his closet and placed in his dresser. Third, that at some point in each consecutive day he agrees to try on some of the clothes....as a personal test....of whether he likes or dislikes being in them. Fourth, that he will help with the dishes and food prep. Fifth, that he will have his own perfume...." She glanced over to me and whispered, "I know you really like the aroma most of them have and wish you could have them as well...and no I didn't read your mind yesterday when you hugged me...." She giggled and explained, "you also....talk in your sleep."

teddi · « **Reply #55 on:** March 31, 2008, 01:44:46 PM »

"Sixth, that his current hairstyle not be so drastically altered so as not to cause undo scrutiny at school. Seventh, that he request every evening a basic in make-up application...of course, and no offense to you "dear" Mommy, I'll instruct him. Eighth, that when he does go to sleep at night that he use a pacifier."

Again she looked to me....as my mouth dropped open she explained: Chris...just look at your left hand....no not your palm silly ....turn it over and look at your thumb. You see the callous raised on the knuckle....that's thumbsuc-kers thumb. Go to any site and look it up...and take in all the pics.....you'll see all the boys and girls with the same callous. Even if you don't want to be a girl....that's a dead give-a-way to someone who's not a dope....savvy?"

Turning her attention, once more, to our parents..."So....Mom...Dad....will you agree or are you both gonna screw him?!

Both looked to the other.....inhaled and simultaneously nodded.

Without a hint of the sarcasm she had heaped on Mom and Dad she asked me out loud, "So my dear brother, will that work for you...and I know....you will be honest." I nodded my consent and whispered, "yea, that's a hell of a lot better than what I thought I was gonna have to go through.