Author Topic: Promises, Obligations and Consequences (Read 144319 times)

teddi · « **Reply #56 on:** March 31, 2008, 03:16:50 PM »

An awkward and tense silence filled the room. And if silence could create a void... this hole would need major work. For some time we looked at each other, each searching for a means of communication that would offend no one nor raise the the heated emotion shown by Christina and unleashed upon Mom and Dad.

Dad broke the ponderous if not breath catching silence by asking if I would care for some breakfast. I respectfully declined, citing an upset stomach...which was in fact true. He quickly followed with "then maybe some water or milk?" I knew he was searching for a way to get out of where we'd just been ...I cautiously replied... "Just some water thank you."

He offered..."Christina?"

"Maybe... half a glass of water...thanks."

I knew, that Christina and I, had conspicuously avoided any type of parental nomenclature. Mom followed suit with..."cookies? toast? bisquets?" Neither of us replied verbally....together we shook our heads to the negative. She was starting to show signs of a major crying jag. So I figured what the hell...."sympathy for the devil."

"Uh Mom...were you really gonna buy me girls clothes of my own? She nodded yes, and added, "I was going to take both of you to the mall and do some shopping and maybe stop in at Claudettes. I called her last night ..and....and....well....I...was thinking ....about your ....hair. But we don't have to go, if you don't want to, I'll call her back and.... cancel.

Christina chimed in...."Mom....you really weren't gonna let any grass grow under his feet were you....you jumped right in and set something up for him to walk into....like a lamb to the slaughter....what was it gonna be...."sausage curls?"

Mom started to protest but was cut off by Dad...."quit it....just stop ....it's bad enough that we look like so much horse manure and now I find out that you called your girl friend behind my back! What in the hell is wrong with you! I really didn't want to go along with this coc-k and bullshit you cooked up and now I'm even more certain that I was a fool to listen to you!

"Christopher.... Christina...I really am sorry....this has gone way to far....as far as I'm concerned there is no decision...." I interrupted, "DAD wait....I didn't like what you guys had decided and the way Mom told it, well it was a load of crap! But....but I...I gotta... j..just gotta know if...if...m...maybe ....with Christina's helping m..me...m.. maybe - I gotta t...try.

"S...so I respectfully decline your offer to withdraw the terms and conditions that we've or I've agreed to." Christina looked at me and shook her head....she didn't think it ...but said it out loud...."your one brave son-of-a-bitch....and maybe too noble as well."

teddi · « **Reply #57 on:** March 31, 2008, 03:55:43 PM »

I turned back to Mom..."O.K. I'll go...as long as you swear and I really mean it.... that when I walk out of there ....that I won't look like a fruitcake! Cause if I do....I'll cut it all off myself! A forced smile crossed her face. But then, for some reason, she asked the most piercing question I had faced, would face or had ever thought about answering.

"Christopher, forgive me...but I must ask...and Lord knows I should have before...but several times you've reffered to your dreams as "terrible...really...really bad....they'd make you puke or scare the hell out of you." Yet you told your sister you had bad dreams but you left out, what? some? ...alot?....what was so bad that you couldn't tell her or us? And yes I know, there is an issue of trust, especially on your part towards me or your father...so will you tell me, all of us, now what was so terrible?

I broke into a sweat....shook my head no "don't think you really wanna know....and...and 'sides ...I d...dd...don't w.w.want C...Christina t..to hear." "OHH no Chris....I have just as much right to hear what you've been so afraid of every night for almost the time I remember you coming into my room and crying, scared to death and with wet jammies. Uh...Uh...on this Mom's dead on!" She didn't know her choice of words were so true.

I looked to Dad...in hopes of a reprieve....no such luck..."No Chris...tell us all of it....son....I really want to know why....why you are so frightened."

If I tell you guys....your not gonna like it. Honest. Your not.

Christina spoke, "C'mon Chris...tell us, please?"

"You really d...don't know what y..your asking f...f...for...and when...when I...I d..do start y'all gotta promise, your most sacred promise, that you won't s..stop m..me or interrupt m..me until .... until I'm thru. P..promise?"

teddi · « **Reply #58 on:** April 01, 2008, 10:03:38 AM »

Chapter 5

A nod from each who now sat across and beside me was given. I closed my eyes, which now began to weep and began my odyessy of nightmares.

"All that I am began before I was born. The visions of my present conception and pasts deaths weighs upon me; for I have promised to weep for those who preceded me until we can meet once more in life, then embrace, in joyous reunion.

I stand outside the malestrom and with some amusement note the tribulations of one particular participant. He is bounced and repelled from the goal he seeks, which lies ahead, and so dutifully guarded by the beasts. With each rebuff, his resolve grows stronger, and with each rebuff he realizes that his stregnth shall soon wane.

A moment of clarity sweeps his thoughts, it is not a direct route of travel but rather a weave....he must avoid contact to reach his objective: that opague membrane, sanctuary and giver of eventual life. While at times he is thrown back, it becomes easier for him to circ-umvent the beasts.

Their howling at his success is compounded by the rush of liquid, and the roar of its passing.... to swim upstream, against the tide and still avoid his demise shall not be so easy a task.

I am also struck at how easily I understand the thoughts of the little creature....until understanding.... that the creature I view and muse over is infact me. I am drawn to its form, and as I am encased within....realize the the pressing need to succeed...

I bolster my resolve and press myself against the tide quicker than before. The beasts, whose gauntlet I have run are now behind me, but still pursue. The bulkward ahead will present little difficulty, as I am small enough to squeeze through its various nooks and cranies.

At long last the membran is attainable....I must search for an entrance and quickly. My frenetic pace is met with success, a small opening....affords me entry. The beasts following my form howl in rage at my success. But they're rants soon dissolve to silence.

Within my sanctuary there is security and peace. I will dwell within its walls...secure. Yet, I realize that another has preceded me....it calls to me to join her. I move towards her form...she is no larger than I ....but she speaks to me none-the -less. "Come my brother - I am glad that we are joined and you are not lost to me forever."

teddi · « **Reply #59 on:** April 01, 2008, 10:42:28 AM »

As we walk the pebble path, I held fast to the hand of Odysseus, who was second favored by the Achaens greatest warrior. Were it not for Patroclus' death at the hand's of my father....I cease my walk and pull back on the hand of the warrior beside me.

I turn and gaze at the field below....the house of Priam has fallen....smoke and flames billow from within its walls. The lamentations of women, who will soon be slaves or concubines is carried to me by the wind. The air I breath is bitter.

Before the gates of the city they are marched. Each wails at her loss, of husband or of child...for the Achaeans are most cruel, taunting most of the captives with their own children...then putting them to the sword.

I remember my Mother's lamentations as she held the head of my father...our greatest protector had fallen to the greatest of the Achaeans. For nine years he had stood between our demise and the wrath of Agamemnon and even more so...the wrath of Achilles.

As she wept, she too, feared her fate as well as my own...."O cruel death"...I will be cast from the precipice to which we now journey and cast down. On the rocks below...there will I die, my corpse to be fed upon by hounds and vultures.

The warrior beside me knelt to face up with me and spoke: "The others are filled with rage....even now as they sack they are consumed with hatred. You, son of Troy's greatest warrior.... are lost.

Soon you will find yourself on the journey to Hades. Be as brave as your father. The others who wait on the summit take pleasure in their deeds....I do not....were it different....I would take you within my house and raise you as my own. But they will not hear of it...they fear your retribution.....

So to would those who await your plunge, they would have defiled your body with their carnal lust....I protect you from them...but am at a loss for all else. Show no fear, you will gain respect and honor yourself. Know too, that my bearers will carry you from the rocks below on my shield. Your body will be cleansed, annoited, placed upon a pyre of sandlewood.. I will pay your fare to offer Charon upon the river Styx.

Do not weep, for even that, so .... understandable, will draw rebuke.

teddi · « **Reply #60 on:** April 01, 2008, 11:07:15 AM »

We walk slowly to the summit. There, we are met by the most foul of men. Their taunts ring through me. Odysseus kneels before me..."I must divest you of your raiments... glances a most fearsome look and snear at his fellow warriors and growls at them...."Oh so fearsome a group of warriors are you all.... your brave taunts on this child....certainly will gain you laurels....he is lost....and understands his fate....cowards the lot of you....that you fear one who has not even drawn sword or blood!"

Their voices are stilled. My tunic and loin clothe removed...I stand naked before them all. Odysseus lifts me in his arms and I am held below my shoulders up to look into his now watering eyes. The down on his face belies his age .... "Tell me when little one, for I must....send you on your way." He hugs me close...to his chest....I know what will happen...I whisper "now."

His strong arms hurl me out and beyond the edge. I see him turn away and begin to weep. My body falls as a stone, twisting and turning with arms flailing I see the earth rush towards me. I do not scream, nor do I cry...I keep my promise to be brave...and I know that the cowards above who wager as to my resolve will not be pleased. Some small measure of satisfaction.......I meet the rocks and join the others now spread out upon the shores and jetties of the Hellspont.

teddi · « **Reply #61 on:** April 01, 2008, 11:44:52 AM »

I gaze down upon my broken form and muse within myself of how this is possible.

I look up to see a spectre...that of a child...no older than what I was.... approach. His face is familiar yet I know that we have never met...he wears no tunic...but rather a strange vestment which cover his legs and rises to his waist.

Upon it are strange markings not unpleasing to sight. Perhaps he hails from.....

The voice at my side says "No ...he is not a god who resides with us but a spectre of what shall be. Do not turn to me as I must hide my precense from Hera and her Husband. Look closely upon his form but do not touch him. Ask only that he will weep for you....he will honor you and will keep his promise....As for me....I will soon fall away and sleep for ages..... On your journey do not drink from the river Lethe or you will be lost to all forever.

He cannot see me or hear my words...I will remain until your entreat is complete.

The child looks upon my broken body and as he does, the bearers which were promised, approach. I am laid upon the shield of bronze and carried away. The left arm of my corpse falls from my stilled chest.

As if in recognition... the young spectre looks upon me and begins to wail. He approaches my ghostly form and looks upon my face. Why does he cry?

I speak to him..."Promise you will honor me with your thoughts and tears?" He nods and begins to walk away.

As he does I look upon him....my eyes are drawn to his left arm....he carries the same birthmark as I did. Only now do I begin to understand.

teddi · « **Reply #62 on:** April 02, 2008, 11:22:28 AM »

"No...not fully...son of Hector....his tears will quench your thirst through the many years... yet to come. He has obligated himself to you....trust him....for it is through his vow that you may once again walk among the mortals. But mind....he shall need your voice....courage and compassion to survive. If he fails....you will never again take mortal form, nor breath, nor rejoice in the comfort of a mother's embrace.

"Look... even now the mightiest bird of prey acknowledges him. Behold, the eagle who bows his head and suppliants a touch of his hand. Marvel that even now, in a nightmare ages long and not of his choice, understands with compassion the birds desire.

"I will take my leave....but know this, that his journey to you will be relived from this day forward....no pleasant dreams will soothe him....no arms shall truly comfort him......and sorrowfully, he will agonize his repeated fates. All this I have read..... all shall come to pass.