Lost Souls

[nappy1]

Lost Souls
Part 1
Madison dragged his tired 10 year old body along the street.  The cold air bit into his lungs causing them to hurt.  He broke into a run again. He didn’t know how long he could keep going.  The cold wind snapped at his bare legs.  His feet were wet where the holes had let in the water.  His thin tattered clothes failed to keep out the wind as it knifed through the thin protection.  To make his situation worse his pants were wetand the cold fabric of his shorts and undies was beginning the chafe between his legs.  But run, he had too.  He had to get away as far as he could from his father.  He could still feel the pain where his father’s fists had attacked his body.  He could still feel the impact of his father’s foot in his back.  How he got out he didn’t know.  Madison had heard stories of how adrenaline took over in vital minutes and could push the body beyond its limits in self-preservation.  Well that’s what happened earlier that evening.
As was typical when Madison arrived in from school his father was blind drunk and staggering about with fury and menace in his eyes.  The simple act of dropping his school bagat the back door had unleashed a torrent of verbal abuse and then the fists started.  The poor boy cowered under the wild blows many missing their mark but enough got through poor Maddie’s defences to leave telling blows.  His adrenaline took over and when his father stumbled in trying to land another savage kick Madison seized the opportunity to half crawl and half stumble out the back door and roll down the hill behind the house and land in the grassy gulley.  It took several minutes for him to gather his strength before he ran from the section, down the road and away.  How he was able to summon the strength and energy was quite beyond him. 
His stumbling jog diminished to a staggering walk.  Many times he stopped to find his bearings look behind him then kept going.  It was sheer dogged determination that kept him going because he had to get away.  Get away as far as his body would allow him, away from his father and the terror that was present.
Madison collapsed.  The cold was making its presence felt.  He had given up shivering a while ago.  He has now disorientated.  He had to find somewhere out of the biting lethal wind.  Then he saw it a glow not too far away.  He forced himself to his feet and headed for it.  As he neared it he realised it was window to a small cottage partially sheltered behind some trees.  He made for it oblivious to the branches clawing at his body as he fought his way through the trees.  He noticed through his blurring vision that the cottage had a partially enclosed veranda along its front.  He staggered up the steps and slumped in the corner.  At least the wind was no so savage here. Then he slept the dreamless slumber of one exhausted beyond their limits.
Jill Scott heard the thump then passed it off.  Jill was in her early thirties, a tall woman with shoulder length brown wavy hair and a fulsome body.  Her hair showed the odd wisp of grey and laughter lines could be detected at the corners of her eyes. Possibly a falling branch or a pinecone on the floor she mused. Both explanations were quite plausible given the windy conditions. She had noted that autumn seemed that have arrived sooner than in the past.  Surely another long winter was fast approaching.  She gazed at the lazy flames in the log burner.  Oh well at least she was warm.  She shuffled in her warm chair and returned to her book.
Jill’s opened her eyes and stared at the clock – 6.05.  Jill was an early riser.  She had always been and when Bethany arrived more so because that little bundle of energy was eager to start her day early as well.  In the twelve or more months since her passing Jill still maintained the same routine.  She peered through the curtains.  Although still relatively dark a break in the horizon to the east forecast yet another bleak autumn day.  The cottage was still warm from the log fire smouldering in the lounge.  Donning her dressing gown she flicked open the damper, tossed a couple of logs onto the glowing embers and allowed the fire to stir itself into life.  Her ample breast swayed beneath her warm fleecey nightie.  Theses breast once nourished her adoring daughter but now remained barren. She flicked a wisp of hair away from her face as she watched the logs spark into flame. Within minutes a quiet roar could be heard from the heating fire box and the room began to take on its warm inviting glow.  She shuffled down the hall to the front door to retrieve her morning newspaper and the day’s milk.  Jill enjoyed the first part of the day browsing through the newspaper and sipping her first mug of tea for the day. 
Jill opened to front day to be met by a blast of cold air.  She pulled her dressing gown tighter and headed quickly down the path to retrieve the paper.  Just as she mounted the steps a dark shadow in the corner of the veranda caught her eye.  Perplexed she moved over to check the shape.  She waited for her eyes to grow accustomed to the dim light.  Her hand went to her mouth.  She could make out the dishevelled blonde hair and slim white legs.  It was a child.
“My God,” she whispered as she touched the supine form.  It was cold.  Quickly she reached inside the front door and switched on the veranda light.  Therewas a small child curled up in the corner its lank blonde hair hanging over its face, its thin shirt and shorts looking dirty and damp, its white legs scratched and its shoes encased in mud.  Crouching down, she touched the child’s face.  It was cold although she did detect a shallow wisp of warm air from the nostrils.  Instantly she knew what to do.  Her years as an emergency nurse began to kick in.  With some effort she slipped her arms under its knees and shoulders and carried the cold seemingly lifeless body indoor kicking the door closed behind her.
Jill entered the bathroom.  The child had to be warmed and quickly otherwise what life it held may be lost.  Laying the child on the floor she started running a warm bath.  Quickly she bustled into the nursery which had once been Bethany’s room, picked up a thick blanket, a pink pyjama top, three nappies and pins.  At the same time she pulled down the duvet in the crib.  The crib had remained made up since Bethany’s passing.  She didn’t have the heart to dismantle anything that reminded her of her lively three year old.  Now the crib would have some use again.
Jill returned to the bathroom.  The bath was filling nicely.  The water was warm but not too hot.  She looked at the small creature lying on the floor in a semi curled position.  Scrabbling through a draw in the vanity she found a pair of scissors.  She had decided that the only way to get the poor child’s clothes off was to cut them off.  Besides the clothes looked dingy and not worth saving.  She set about the process.  Jill cut the shirt away revealing a dingy grey singlet.  She this away and the sight that befell her eyes was horrifying.  The child’s chest and back had bruises, fresh bruises possibly recently inflicted.  Jill studied the child’s face.  She noted a flicker of an eye lid and a slight pursing of the lips.  The child’s hair was dirty yet she could perceive the blonde tinge.  It fell about in gentle waves and felt soft to the touch.  It was long possibly just short of shoulder length.  The eyelashes were black and long, the nose pert and the lips full and cherub-like.  She noted the skin was soft and tender and the facial features fine.  Possibly a little girl Jill mused as she dumped the singlet aside.
Jill noticed a strong presence of stale urine.  The poor creature had wet its pants at some point.  Gingerly she started cutting the damp and smelly shorts away.  Soon they joined the two other items.  This revealed the underwear which were pale blue in colour and styled similar to a little boys. Finally she sliced away the underwear and the sex of the child was on show.
She looked lovingly at the sleeping face.
“You’re a wee boy, sweetie,” she said softly.  “Judging by your size probably around 6 or 7.”  She shook her head sadly. This little fellow had had a real tough time. “I don’t know who you are little one but you’re safe with me,” she whispered. She noted around his little peenie and sack was an angry red rash.  If he had been her child she would have said it looked like nappy rash, but given his condition it was probably a combination of prolonged exposure to wet pants and poor hygiene. As she gently parted his legs the rash extended between his legs along the inside of his thighs and over his bottom. “You poor wee mite,” she said softly.  It was apparent that he had had wet pants before.  The rash was in keeping with the rest of his being.  The unwashed hair, the malnourished skin, the poor flesh and muscle on the bones and his sallow skin.  Finally she removed the socks and shoes.  All the items were destined for the fire.
Jill tested the water and found it warm enough to take the body.  While the child lay on the floor she prepared the items she was going to use.She made sure the blanket was laid out and covered with several towels.  She had decided that once there was sufficient warmth in the small body that she would wrap him in the combination and carry him out by the fire.
Carefully she lifted the cold limp body into the warm water.  Immediately his legs and arms jerked at the sudden increase in warmth.  This was a good sign she mused.  Maybe he was not as ‘far gone’ as she had initially thought.  Slowly she immersed the boy in the water until his head was exposed and began to softly rub the flannel over his body in an effort to stimulate the blood and encourage the warmth into his system.  She grinned when the water between his legs went yellow momentarily.  His bladder had just involuntarily emptied.
Jill kept up a constant vigil regularly replenishing the warmth in the water and releasing some of the cooler liquid as she attempted to keep a consistent temperature. While she was rubbing the flannel over his body she cleaning him too.  More bruises started to show especially on the buttocks, upper arms and thighs.During this time she took the opportunity to wash his hair and soon had it looking soft.
Finally after almost an hour of attention she noted his skin was starting to show some colour.  More significantly his cheeks and lips started to glow pink.  His eyelids flickered and his head jerked and rolled slightly.  He was slowly coming round, more out of a deep unconscious state to a heavy sleep mode.
Carefully she lifted the dripping boy laid him on the pallet of towels and wrapped him warmly in the blanket and carried him out to the lounge and laid him on the floor in front the very warm fire.  The lounge was very warm.  This was made more so by the drapes remaining closed giving the room and inviting, cosy, close environment.  She kept an eye on his face. 
Despite the fact that he was a little boy she had very little choice in terms of clothing to use.  She had decided to make use of some of Bethany’s clothes especially her pyjama tops and singlets.  The fact that they were pink was unavoidable.  At least the pyjama top had small stars over it.  At this stage the type and colour of the clothes was immaterial, as long they were functional and warm was all that mattered.  In terms of pants the decision was easy.  She would use nappies.  It was a matter ensuring that any bedding wasn’t wet while he slept.  Once he was up and moving around then maybe she would alter things.
Jill knelt down beside the boy.  The heat from the fire was intense.  She reached over and closed the damper slightly.  The flames in the firebox died slightly and there was an audible creaking as the firebox cooled.  She picked up the nappies and opened them out.  They were some she had used on Bethany but were still very white, fluffy and the red salvage edge still intense.  Placing two together she expertly folded them into a kite shape.  Jill was certain that although they were baby nappies they would fit him given his very slender frame.  She folded the third to act as soaker pad which was placed down the centre. 
Slipping over to the boy she opened the blanket and spread it out.  The boy shivered.  It was obvious to her that his body had registered a change in temperature.
“Right little one let’s get you dressed,” she murmured.  Carefully she grabbed his ankles together and lifted his bottom slipping the nappy in place.  Once his bottom settled on the soft cloth she gently opened his legs and began to smear a thick coating of white salve over the rash. “There, that will take of that sweetie,” she murmured.  While his legs were still apart she folded the nappy over his groin ensuring his little peenie was pointing downwards. “Better to wee in the nappy little one than out of it,” she clucked. With two very firm tugs she pinned the nappy closed with two yellow-tipped nappy pins.  She patted the bulk between his legs. “There darling that’ll keep you dry,” she said with a satisfied tone.  Jill noted how the thick wad between his legs kept them apart.  She could picture him toddling around the lounge in a thick nappy.  She smiled at the thought.
Carefully she slipped the pink singlet over his head and guided his arms into the holes.  And moving him around like a baby she eased the singlet down his body.  It fit him which surprised her.  It fitted her three year old daughter yet it fitted him as well.  The fact that it was pink didn’t matter.  She picked up the pyjama top and slipped over his head, guided his arms into the sleeves and much the same as for the singlet rolled his body until she had it in place.  Jill fastened the buttons at the neck and tied the ribbons under the throat and around the cuffs.  She leaned back to admire her handy work.  He was beautiful was the only word she could think of.  She brushed his hair so it wasn’t too tangled, then slipped a pair of thick pink socks on his feet.  They were more like booties than socks.
When she was satisfied she covered him with the blanket again.  What he needed now was something warm and sweet in his tummy.  She puzzled over this problem as she entered the kitchen.  Delivering the liquid was easy it would have to be in a baby’s bottle but what to give him was the puzzling question.  After she had retrieved the eight bottles she had once used on Bethany she happened to open another cupboard by mistake and noticed a tin of infant formula.  ‘Maybe that was the answer,’ she mused.  After checking the use by date she decided to make up one bottle but add two teaspoons of sugar to sweeten it.  The formula would provide sustenance and minerals, she reasoned, while the sugar would provide a glucose hit.  She filled the bottle with warm water and shook the contents vigorously until it was all dissolved.  After screwing the cap in place she checked the nipple to ensure the holes were big enough then it was placed it in the microwave to give another warming boost.  Now, would he take it given his deep sleeping state?  He may not detect the presence of the rubber nipple in his mouth. These two questions ran through her mind.
Returning to the warm lounge she placed the full bottle on a nearby table and carefully picked up the limp sleeping body and sat on the couch cradling the wrapped bundle in her arms.  His pinkish face was framed with the blanket.  Easing the blanket off his head she managed to fasten a white bib around his neck.  If he vomited the bib would catch it and not the blanket, then she rubbed the warm rubber nipple over his lips.  Some of the formula dribbled out coating his lips.
“Come on little one,” she whispered as she managed to push the nipple over his lips but hit his teeth.  Using a spare finger managed to forced his teeth slightly apart and slip the nipple further into his mouth resting it on his tongue.  She could feel the soft resistance offered by his tongue and rubbed the nipple over its surface stimulating it.  At the same time some of the mouth dribbled further into his mouth and caught in the back of his throat.  He gaged momentarily then she heard a reflex swallow.  She did the same thing again this time giving the bottle a squeeze causing the formula to squirt into the back of his throat.  Again he gaged and swallowed.  Then she felt his tongue move over the teat and give a reflex s_ck.  This was a good sign.  A reflex swallow followed and then another s_ck.  Finally after several minutes his suc-king became rhythmic. She was elated.  He had taken the bottle.  Her only fear now was whether his stomach would accept the formula or reject it.
Jill watched as his jaw worked on the teat.  The swallows were regular.  His eyes flickered then opened.  Jill saw a pair of very dark brown eyes staring unseeing at her.  Then they closed.  He wriggled his body.  Swapping hands she manoeuvred her free hand under the warm folds of the blanket until she found the soft thick cloth of the nappy bunched between his legs.  She probed the surface then softly snaked her fingers inside the nappy.  He was still dry. 
She extracted her hand refolded the blanket and resumed holding the bottle.  She smiled adoringly at him.
“Good baby,” she cooed.  “Drink it all sweetie.  It’ll do you good.”
His suc-king slowed then stopped.  She rubbed the teat inside his mouth.  There was a feverish suc-king then it slowed to a stop.  She did this several times.  It was apparent he had slipped into a deep sleep again.  She carefully withdrew the bottle and checked the contents.  He had taken over half which in her mind was a good start.  When he regained more consciousness he would undoubtedly take more.  She dabbed his lips and chin with the bib mopping up any excess.  Slowly she stood and took him down to the nursery placed him in Bethany’s crib.  She bent over and kissed his forehead. 
“Sleep tight little one whoever you are,” she murmured then raised the side and stole from the room.

[nappy1]

Here you my dears the next installment.

Part 2.
Throughout the morning Jill made regular trips to the nursery to check on him. She noted he had moved and had managed to kick part of the blanket off.  During one trip she turned the baby monitor on instead of making regular trips.  When he awoke she would hear him.  Jill continued to bustle around the house.  She made up all the baby bottles with formula.  She folded more nappies leaving some in the nursery, some in the hall cupboard and a small pile in the lounge near the couch.
A whimper caught her attention.  She headed to the nursery. On opening the door she was met by the small blonde headed boy sitting up in the crib rubbing his eyes.  As she advanced towards the crib he looked at her and moved to the back and jammed himself against the far rail. Jill lowered the side.  The frightened boy looked at her with fear in his eyes.
“Who are you? Where am I?” he whimpered with fear and uncertainty in his voice looking about the room. Then he noticed the nappy bunched between his legs.  He looked at her in horror. “What…..” he paused.
Jill reached for him but he tried to evade her grasp. “It’s alright little one you’re safe. I’m not going to hurt you,” she cooed softly.  Her voice seemed to have an effect as he appeared to slump before her eyes.  She lifted him into her arms but he began to struggle.
“Noooo! Nooooo!” he squealed as he tried to climb out of her arms.  She held him firmly.
“Shhhh…..Shhhhh it’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you little one. I want to help you sweetheart,” she said as she continued to hold him firmly. He continued to struggle then Jill felt the fight go out of him and he began to cry.  He slumped into her as his body became wracked with sobs.   She tried to soothe him.  Jiggling him gently like one would with an unhappy baby, she rubbed his back and paced the nursery.  Her hand slipped to his nappied bottom.  He was wet.
A few minutes later his sobs slowly subsided.
“S…s….sorry,” he wept. “I…I…I peed.”
“Is that all,” she giggled. “I’ll soon have that fixed up sweetie,” she reassured him and carried him out of the room and down into the warm lounge.
She sat on the big linen covered couch and laid him in front of her.  His eyes darted around the room.He had a frantic look in his eyes.  Jill reached for his pyjama top but his hands grabbed hers.
“Don’t,” he pleaded.
“It’s alright sweetie. I’m not going to hurt you.”  She continued to push his top and singlet up.  His body language told her that he was becoming highly agitated.  When she reached for the nappy pins he jerked away.
“No! No! Please. You’ll see….”
“See what darling? That you’re a little boy. I already know that,” she chuckled. “How do you think the nappy got there?”  He whimpered and shook his head.  Jill stopped.  The last thing she wanted to do was frighten him.  After all, judging by his physical condition that was bound to happen.  Her hand rested on his knee.  He jerked. “Well as I see it we can do two things,” she reasoned. “Either you let me change you out of that wet nappy or I leave it and you become uncomfortable and hurt your bottom more. It’s your choice,” she pointed out.
Jill waited.  She could see the turmoil in his eyes and the frantic jerks his body was making.
“Well sweetie, what will it be – dry nappy or wet nappy?” she quizzed.
“Dry…” he whispered and burst into tears.  Again her maternal instincts kicked in and she picked him up and enveloped him in a warm cuddle.  This time he seemed to melt into her.  Her hand patted his wet bottom as she waited for him the control himself.
“Ready?” she whispered to him.  He nodded. “Good boy,” she cooed kissing him tenderly on the side of the head.  Again she laid him on the couch.  As he tried to wipe the tears from his eyes Jill reached for the nappy pins and withdrew them from the cloth.  She carefully pulled the wet cloth away from his groin and looked at his rash.  It looked slightly better. “Just relax little one,” she whispered as she pushed his legs up raising his bottom.  Quickly the wet nappy was replaced by a dry one and his bottom settled down on the soft cloth.
“Do I…” he stopped.
Jill raised her eyebrows. She knew what he wanted to say but was too embarrassed to say it. “What wear nappy?” she quizzed.  He nodded slightly. “I think so sweetie until you are stronger then we’ll have a think about it, okay?” she suggested.  “It will be safer than having wet beds or pants won’t it,” she reasoned. He nodded no too convincingly. “Good boy,” she reassured him. “Now hold still baby,” she said as she began to wipe his bottom.  He jerked and let out a wail.
“Ooowww,” he squealed and more tears slipped down his cheeks.
“I know darling, it hurts but you’ve got a nasty rash and I have to clean it and put cream on it to make it better, okay,” she explained looking at him.
“Yesss….” he said shakily wincing every time she wiped his bottom.
“There all done,” she said quite satisfied. “What a brave boy,” she stated.  Carefully yet firmly she pulled the nappy into position and pinned it snugly closed. “There, one clean baby,” she cooed.  He smiled weakly at her.  Jill, again,pulled him onto her lap.  He leaned against her. “What’s your name sweetie?” she asked softly.
He looked up at her. “Madison. Madison Herbert,” he said softly.
“Madison,” she repeated. “What a lovely name. Can I call you Maddie?” she asked.  She felt she had to because some people do not like their names shortened. She was used to being called Jill considering her proper name was Jillian.
“Yes,” he whispered. “Some people do.”
“Well I’m Jill Scott and this….” said Jill looking around the room. “Is my little house.”
They sat in silence.  Madison shivered slightly.
“Cold sweetheart,” Jill whispered.
“Uh-huh,” he murmured.
Jill stood lifting him into her arms and carried him down to the nursery.  She picked up the blanket he had been wrapped in and draped it over him then tucked him into it.  He snuggled into her for warmth.  It was important for her to keep him warm.  He was still vulnerable despite her earlier efforts.  She carried him out into the warm lounge.
“Would you like a drink?” she asked quietly.
“Uh-huh,” he replied.
Madison was still unsure of his surroundings and of this person he was cuddled into.  He couldn’t remember how he got here and that worried him.  He was concerned at the way he was dressed – a 10 year old wearing a nappy didn’t fit with his image of himself.  What he did know was that this person Jill was caring, gentle and kind.  Much like his mother had been.  He liked that.  His bottom felt better considering he was used to the sting of the rash he always seemed to have.  And the nappy, despite the fact that he definitely wasn’t a baby, felt soft and comfortable.  As for wetting the first one well that wasn’t unusual for him especially since his mother had gone and his father’s change in attitude, wet pants seemed to dog him although he tried to cover it as much as he could and to a large extent he had been successful. His tummy rumbled but that wasn’t unusual it always did.  He was always hungry and amazed himself how he managed to get through each day with minimal nourishment.
Jill walked into the kitchen still with the boy cuddled in her arms.  She removed a bottle from the refrigerator and heated it in the microwave.  With the bottle warmed she made her way back to the couch and soon had him sitting on her lap.  She opened the blanket slightly and pulled his bib out.  Madison saw what she did and his eyes widened.  He hadn’t seen that before.  More baby clothes.  What on earth is happening to me?  First the nappy, now the bib, what next? Jill saw his anxiety. 
“Don’t worry about the bib,” she said attempting to reassure him. “I put it on earlier just in case you vomited. I think I’ll leave for the time being just in case,” she said quietly.  He accepted her explanation but he wasn’t too happy.  What choice did he have he reasoned with himself.  She was in control after all.  He let her fiddle with the white bib until she had it spread over his pyjama top and blanket. 
When he saw the baby’s bottle he started to pull back.
“Nooooo…I’m not a baby,” he squealed. “Why can’t I have a cup?”
Jill was patient.  She gave the bottle a slight shake.
“It’s quite simple sweetie,” she said. “It is important to keep you hydrated yet have something in your tummy.  This way I can control what you have and how much you get.  When your body has been through a major crisis like you had, the first thing it will do is throw back anything it doesn’t want in your tummy,” she explained. “Now we can help that by drinking small amounts slowly.  A baby’s bottle only holds a small amount and you can only get it out by suc-king it so controlling the flow, understand?”
He nodded slightly although he was not convinced.  Maybe she was trying to turn him into a baby after all he was wearing nappies and a bib, the bottle was the next step.
Jill can see that he was finding the situation hard to come to grips with.  She looked at him and gave him a warm smile.
“I know what you are thinking angel,” she said.  “You think I’m treating you like a baby.” He nodded. “Well, in a way I am but only because you are ill at the moment and not able to help yourself,” she continued laying all the cards on the table. There was no use lying or being deceitful.  She had to win his trust and this was the only way to do it. “Do you see that?”
“Yesss,” he whimpered as more tears rolled down his cheek.  He really did feel retched and there was no way he could help himself at the moment, he knew that.  He really had no choice but trust this woman he barely knew. 
Jill picked up the corner of the bib and dabbed his eyes.
“You really are in a bad way aren’t you precious,” she cooed.  He nodded and sniffed. “Just let me take care of you, okay?” she inquired.
“Okay,” he whispered.  He really didn’t have the energy to meet her head on, nor the heart.  She really was being so kind and gentle.
“Now, do you want the drink?” she asked quietly.  He nodded.  She lifted the bottle and rubbed the warm teat over his lips.  He tentatively passed his tongue over his lips and the end of the teat sampling the warm liquid.  It tasted thin but sweet.  He opened his open slightly and Jill slipped the warm teat in.  It rested on his tongue and he could feel the liquid dribble on to his tongue causing him to swallow.  He took a tentative suc-k and was rewarded with more.
Jill was pleased when he took the teat.  She heard him swallow then noted a slight tug as he took his first suc-k.  Within minutes he was suc-king on the contents.  “Good boy,” she cooed. “That’ll make you feel better baby.”  There, she said it again, called him baby.  Maybe he was.  At the moment he didn’t care the warm liquid whatever it was, tasted nice and he wanted more.
Jill looked into his eyes.  She could detect a degree of contentment.  He sighed and she felt his body relax.  Good, she thought, you’ll soon be wanting more bottles then the babying part will get easier and easier.  She watched as his mouth worked on the nipple.  She could almost feel him working on her nipple. It was an image which floated through her mind.  Maybe, she mused just maybe.  After all, her beloved Bethany still liked to nurse at least twice a day even at the age of three nearly four.
Madison began to ever so slightly cuddle into her.  Jill could feel his minute movements and smiled inwardly.  He felt him sliver slightly.  That could mean one or two things either he was feeling cool or he had just wet himself.  Suddenly he coughed and spluttered around the teat.  Quickly it was removed and Jill held his bib to his mouth in case he vomited.  He continued to cough.  She gently wiped his mouth and chin.  She realised that he had tried to swallow too much too quickly and it had caught in his throat.
“Careful sweetie,” she cooed. “Did that go down the wrong hole?” she chuckled.  He nodded and grinned weakly.  His tongue passed over his lips and Jill decided to wipe his tongue just to see how he would react.  It was an old trick she used to play on Bethany and she always chuckled and giggled and would want to do it again and again.  He smiled again and withdrew his tongue.  He poked out slightly again and again she wiped it.  He smiled.  Yes, she thought, he’s starting to relax.  She sat him up.  Putting the bottle down she passed one arm around his waist and she gently rubbed his back with the other.  Suddenly he belched then blushed at his babyish behaviour. “Good boy,” she cooed. “It’s better to have that windies out.”  He belched again. 
She waited for a few minutes to see if any more wind was dislodged then she cradled him in her arms again and teased the nipple over his lips.  This time he took it without a murmur and starting nursing.  She leaned down and kissed him affectionately on the forehead.  She watched as he snuggled down to finishing nursing.  At the same time his eyes began to blink repeatedly.  It was clear he was fighting to keep them open.  He shivered again.  This time she snaked her free hand under the folds of the blanket and parted them. His pyjama top had ridden up exposing the soft pink skin of his back and tummy. It also accentuated the look of his nappy.  She touched the white padding between his legs.  It was damp.  Jill managed to slip her fingers into the seat of his nappy.  It was wet, just as she thought. His earlier shiver was a reaction to wetting.  His body was deliciously warm.
Occasionally he would open his eyes and look at her.  All this time he suc-kled on the teat.  Finally he was suc-king air.  She extracted the nipple.  He had taken the whole bottle.  She was elated.  The warm formula would help him immensely.
“Good baby,” she cooed. He flicked his eyes open again then closed them.  Carefully she dabbed his lips and wiped his chin of the excess milk.  She could tell he was drifting into a deeper sleep. Yes, she mused, the whole bottle will soon make its presence known. You are going to be one wet baby when you wake.
Madison felt deliciously warm.  The milk sat comfortably in his stomach.  His mouth could still feel the sensation of the rubber nipple even after he had finished.  He wriggled his body and snuggled further into the warm blanket and the body of this woman.  His nappy felt wet although he didn’t remember doing it.  His body wanted him to sleep.  His mind wanted him to sleep and his heavy eyes were telling him they wanted to close.  He surrendered.
Jill sat watching him intently.  He was asleep she could see that.  Ever so gently she brushed a strand of blonde hair from his temple.  He certainly was a beautiful child.  She agonised over how anyone could harm and abuse such a beautiful creature.  He looked so baby-like lying in her arms, so innocent, so accepting and so trusting.  Yes, she decided, he would make an adorable baby, boy or girl.  She certainly had the clothes for a girl.  She could picture him in one of Bethany’s pretty dresses.  Even her shorts, shortalls, dungarees and long pants would serve him well if he objected to the feminine touch and insisted on preserving his boy image.
Very carefully she stood with her ‘baby’ and headed to the nursery.  She stopped at the changing table.  She had no intention of changing him even though he was wet.  The nappy would take a couple more wettings.  No, she had something else in mind.  Jill reached into a plastic box to one side and retrieved a white dummy with a blue ring.  It was one of Bethany’s, but one she hadn’t used.  While she was standing at the table she gently rubbed the rubber nipple of the pacifier over his lips. Amazingly he let it slip into his mouth and she could see it bobbling in his mouth. Yes, my darling, you’ll make a beautiful baby.  With that she placed the slumbering boy in the crib, rewrapped his blanket, raised the side of the cot and stole from the room after checking the baby monitor was on.

[nappy1]

Here we are my dears.  Another part to the saga.  I must say I ma heartened by the responses I have received.  This story is one which is unfolding gradually as I plan it. Enjoy!

Part 3.

Jill felt satisfied with herself as she rinsed the bottle under the warm water.  She was confident he would slip into his new role.  It was obvious that his past was traumatic and his presence at her house meant he obviously had intentionally escaped from whatever environment was threatening his existence.  It was going to be so wonderful having a baby back in the house.  She missed Bethany so much. Perhaps, this little creature would be a good substitute.  Time would tell.  She rubbed her hands over her breasts.  Her nipples felt unusually sensitive.  Maybe it had been caused by the cold wind earlier that morning. She shrugged and passed it off.

Jill bustled around the cottage keeping an ear to the baby monitor. She decided to wash the nappies Madison had used.  Finally these were hung on a clothes stand to dry above the fire.  She gazed at the white cloth hanging limp.  It was great having nappies drying around the house again.  She realised how she missed this aspect which she had taken for granted when Bethany was alive.  She could picture a line full of nappies fluttering in the breeze together with a mixture of baby clothes. Oh well it was start she mused.

Suddenly a piercing shout blasted from the monitor.  Jill dropped what she was doing and quickly headed to the nursery.  When she entered Madison was kneeling against the rail wailing.  His dummy was hanging limp from its chain and his nappy drooped from his hips. Jill rushed over and managed to prize his hands from the bars, drop the rail and lift the frightened boy into her arms.  Immediately he gripped her shirt and wailed piteously.  He was wet that was evident.  Jill also detected the odour of a poopy nappy.  Whatever had woken him had also frightened him.

Jill patted his wet bottom and jiggled him in an effort to pacify him.  She paced the nursery. 

Madison didn’t remember being placed in the crib. He looked above and saw the face of his father rise over the end of the crib.  He looked menacing and Madison began to whimper.

“What the f_ck are doing you little bashtard?” he slurred and reached for him.  Madison cowered and grabbed the bars. “Come here little sod. I’ll get you,” he growled spraying saliva and stale alcohol over his face as his hand reached out to grab the quivering boy.  Madison held the bars tighter and started screaming to scare his drunken father away.  At the same time his bowels let go filling his pants. He screamed and screamed.  The next thing he felt himself being lifted and wrapped in a pair of warm arms and soft voice penetrated his senses.

“Shh…shh…shhh!” she soothed. “Mama’s got you baby.  You’re safe baby. Shh…shhh!”

Madison continued to cry but the noise gradually abated.  Finally his cries subsided to sobs and he buried his face into her shoulder.

“Good baby,” she cooed. “That’s better.  Everything will be alright,” she continued. “Come on little one let’s get this wet nappy changed then you’ll feel better,” she suggested.

Jill happened to notice the blanket he had been wrapped in was wet so she gathered that and headed out of the nursery and deposited it in the laundry.  With Madison still his arms she managed to spread a thick towel on the table then lay a fresh nappy and the necessary supplies beside it.
“Are you going to let me change that yucky nappy?” she asked quietly.  Still sobbing the little boy nodded.  Before she laid him down she picked up his pacifier. “Here, sweetheart have your dummy it’ll make you feel better,” she said quietly as she put it to his lips.  He took it and started suc-king it vigorously. “Good boy,” she said softly. “You had a pretty bad dream didn’t you sweetheart?” Madison nodded still sniffling.

“I…I…p…po…” he stammered but couldn’t get the words out as fresh tears slipped down his cheeks. He was so embarrassed to admit to such a babyish action.

“Shhh….shhhh…” Jill soothed. “I know darling you’ve got a poopy nappy.”  This statement brought fresh sobs. “Hey, hey sweetie. It’s okay.  These things happen.  After all it’s only a nappy and they wash,” she continued. “I’m sure it won’t be your last poopy nappy,” she assured him.  Madison said nothing and let her soft words wash over him.  Then he realised the gravity of the last statement. Did she say he’d be doing it again?  No it couldn’t be!  After all he was nearly 10 years old and 10 year olds don’t poop their pants.  Mind you 10 year olds also don’t drink from baby’s bottles, s_ck on dummies and wear nappies just like he had been doing.  Maybe he was a baby.  He was certainly behaving like one.  This would be his third nappy change.  Maybe he could…no he couldn’t get use to this…or could he?

Jill gently laid the boy on the table.  He looked at her face through teary eyes.  She picked up his bib and gently dabbed his eyes and wiped his nose tweaking it in the process.  While she lifted his pyjama top he looked around the kitchen.  He could see the two empty bottles on the bench and what looked like another waiting in a jug.  His head snapped back to her when he felt her remove the nappy pins. Her disarming smile helped ease his rising anxiety.

As Jill pulled the nappy away from between his legs Madison opened them and lifted them to curl them near his tummy.  It was a reflex action but it drew an affectionate response from Jill.

“Good boy,” she cooed impressed at his response and she started to carefully wipe his bottom with cleaner parts of the nappy. Madison jerked and whimpered. “Shhh little one I know it hurts but the rash is starting to heal nicely,” she responded.  “Just hold still sweetie that’s the boy,” she said.  Madison could feel her gentle ministrations.  Although his bottom still hurt it was not as bad as had been earlier.  Jill finished the task with a couple of cool wipes then she rolled the nappy in on itself and placed it aside.  Madison saw this and was inwardly horrified when he saw the yellowy cloth.  He realised that he had done that and a rush of confusing thoughts flittered through his mind.  His thoughts were interrupted with a warm soft nappy pulled up firmly between his legs.  He sighed as she pinned it closed. Jill sensed his sigh and smiled inwardly. Yes, she thought, he was coming along nicely.  He didn’t fight the nappy change in fact he readily accepted it.  As she readjusted his pyjama top she cooed softly to him.

“There we go baby one clean and dry little boy,” she smiled.  Madison smiled weakly at her, with that she lifted him into her arms kissing him affectionately on the forehead.

Even though he barely knew this woman he was beginning to accept and trust her.  She was gentle, warm and kind.  The soothing words she consistently used were washing over him and he was beginning to love the attention.  Her actions reminded him of his mother.  She was similar.  A gentle cheerful woman full of love and affection for him, he suddenly realised how much he missed her.  This other woman was picking up those pieces and in his mind slowly repairing the puzzle.

Jill put the boy on his feet.  Madison looked at her unsure of his balance.  He grasped a nearby chair for support before taking a couple of tentative steps.  He stopped.  Jill smiled at him as she picked up his soiled nappy.
“Just wait here darling while I get rid of this,” she explained and left the room heading to the laundry.  Madison stayed where he was.  He was unsure if he could or should follow.  He still felt weak and didn’t trust his ability to stay on his feet.  His free hand caressed the soft bulk between his legs.  It felt reassuring although in his mind it shouldn’t.  Eventually Jill returned.  He had remained where she left him.  He looked adorable with his tousled blonde hair, dummy bobbling in his mouth, white bib, pink pyjama top, white thick nappy and pink booties.  He presented a picture of toddler innocence.  When she reached him she lifted him effortlessly into her arms. Immediately he spread his legs and wrapped them around her waist.  She reached for the warm bottle and carried him into the lounge.  Gently she laid him on the couch then sat beside him then reached over and slipped his pacifier from his mouth.

“Here darling,” she cooed and rested the warm rubber nipple on his lips.  Madison took the bottle and immediately started nursing.  He hadn’t asked for the bottle and she certainly didn’t ask if he wanted it.  She just assumed he would take which he did.  Jill held the bottle for a few minutes while Madison suc-ked the warm contents into his tummy his deep brown eyes fixed on her.  She captivated him.  He didn’t know why, maybe it was her warm, caring demeanour, maybe the aspects of ‘his mother’ coming through, or maybe she was providing something for him he hadn’t had for a long time – a loving mother. In addition he noticed the ever present hunger pangs, which had always appeared to gnaw constantly at his stomach and mind, were no longer present.  It had suffered that pain for such a long time that it felt strange not having it there.  Oh, it was a wonderful feeling to have a full tummy and this warm liquid just seemed to soothe his inner being and fill him with contentment.  He never wanted to ever have that empty feeling constantly in his psyche.

Jill watched him as he nursed.  He hadn’t baulked at the bottle.  He hadn’t fought to have his nappy changed.  Maybe just maybe he was slipping into the role she was planning for him.  He certainly looked a picture a baby cuteness nursing his bottle.  She watched as one of his hands idly searched for his soft wavy blonde hair and started playing with it.
“Here darling you hold your bottle. I’ve got things to do,” suggested Jill.  Madison used his free hand to grasp it.  Jill left the couch, checked the fire and disappeared down the hall.

Madison looked around the room.  It had a comfortable warm feel.  He noticed the nappies hanging from the clothes airier and blushed.  They were his, he knew that.  The carpet looked thick and inviting as did the comfortable chairs.  He saw an array of paintings on the wall and the photographs.  Yes the photographs.  He detected pictures of a baby, and a toddler and a little girl.  So there was a child in the house yet he hadn’t seen her.  Then there were the pictures of a lady, whom he recognised as Jill, and a man holding the girl.  A man! He shuddered.  He didn’t want to meet him that’s for sure, especially if he was anything like his father.
His free hand ventured down and started caressing the soft fluffy nappy between his legs.  He wriggled his bottom and the softness played over his skin.  His peenie started to thicken inside its soft cocoon of cloth.  Suddenly a high pitched tweeting caught his attention.

[nappy1]

Part 4

The noise appeared to come from the window.  Madison rolled off the couch and waddled in that direction.  He ignored the reflection of himself in the glass and peered out into the garden.  He saw a tidy garden festooned with immaculate shrubs and tall trees.  These trees were now in the grip of autumn and their leafy mantle was rapidly withering away.  He watched as the mixture of brown, gold and orange leaves skipped and danced over the lawn chased by a keen wind.  He felt a presence behind him and looked up.  Jill was standing over him her hands resting lightly on his shoulders.  He continued to s_ck on his bottle.  Soon he could feel Jill’s warm fingers play through his hair.  It felt wonderful.  He leaned back into her as he did so his bladder emptied without any warning.  He felt his nappy grow warm and ignored it.

There it was again the high pitched tweeting.  Madison followed it with his eyes.  A small grey bird with a long flicking tail was darting and frolicking among the leaves and branches.

Madison pointed to the creature.

“What dat?” he asked around the nipple of the bottle.

Jill eyes saw what he was referring to and chuckled. “That’s a fantail darling,” she explained. “Haven’t you ever seen one?” she asked.  He shook his head. Jill smiled. “They’re cheeky little birds but fun to watch.  I love them.  Whenever I’m out in the garden they’ll come dancing around me catching the insects that are disturbed.  They’ll fly right up to you and follow you around. I’ll show you one day,” she suggested.  He nodded. 
Madison continued to look out the window.  He loved the soft action of her fingers through his hair.  It was so soothing and intoxicating.

“Where dis house?” he asked looking around for the sign of neighbours.

“My little house is about 5 kilometres outside Overton on the main road to Stanton,” she explained.  Madison nodded although he had no idea where that was. “Where’s your house sweetie?” she asked softly.  Madison took the bottle from his mouth and little milk dribbled down his chin and onto his bib.  Jill saw this reflected in the window and gently leaned over him and used the bib to wipe his chin.  His eyes twinkled when he looked up at her.

“I live in Kilmarne,” he replied a little apprehensively.

“Kilmarne,” Jill said to herself as she tried to orientate herself in her mind.  Then the realisation hit her. “Kilmarne!” she repeated incredulously. ”That’s on the other side of Overton.  Do you mean to say you walked over 20 kilometres to get here,” she stated aghast at the very suggestion.

“I don’t know. Probably. I don’t remember,” he replied.

She was astounded.  For him to make a journey of that magnitude in terrible weather was remarkable and amazing. “What an incredibly brave boy,” she crooned allowing her fingers to continue smoothing his hair. “Won’t your Mummy be worried about you?” she ventured to see what his response would be.

“No,” he responded which surprised her. “She’s dead.”  Jill gasped.

“Oh my God you poor boy,” she said sadly and she was. “What about your Dad won’t he miss you?” she continued.  She felt his body stiffen.  “Maybe we need to get you back to him,” she suggested.  Suddenly Madison spun round, dropped his bottle and wrapped his arms tightly around her legs.  He was becoming agitated.

“NO! NO! NO!” he shrieked grasping her even tighter. “Don’t send me back! Please don’t!” he shouted.  Now he was very agitated. “Please, please I’ll do anything. Promise you won’t send me back.”  By now Jill was shocked at his reaction.  Swiftly she picked the heartbroken boy into her arms.  Immediately he clung to her tighter than ever and started to wail.  He was so sad and dejected.  She cuddled him close placing one hand behind his head and the other on the seat of his wet nappy.  Slowly she walked around the room trying to calm him down. “Promise you won’t,” he wept.

“You poor, poor baby,” she soothed. “I promise darling. I won’t send you back,” she replied. It was out before she realised what she was saying.  Now she had to somehow make good on her promise.  That last thing she needed to do was to show him that she was a liar and unreliable.  How she would keep this promise?  She had now presented herself with a huge problem but she felt she was obligated to deliver. “I promise darling, I promise,” she repeated over and over again to reassure him.  It was beginning to work.  She could feel his body slowly relax and his sobs subside until the occasional sniffle was heard.  “Madison baby, did your father hurt you?” she said to him very softly.

“Yes,” he whimpered.

“Were you naughty?”

“Noooo,” he whimpered.

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” he stammered.  His reply perplexed her.

“I don’t understand honey,” she cooed.  Jill waited for him to regain his composure.  She sat down on the couch and swung him onto her lap until he was cuddled into her.  She used his bib to wipe his eyes and clean his nose. “Take your time honey,” she softly suggested.

Suddenly he opened up to her and everything poured out in a jumble of words and statements.  He mentioned about his mother’s death and his father’s heavy drinking, and the lack of food, and the physical assaults when his father was blind drunk.  He mentioned how frightened he had become, how hungry he was, how dirty and unkempt he had become.  He spoke of his fear when at home of being unable to do anything in case he provoked his father.  Finally he spoke of the night which brought about his ‘escape.’  Jill was astounded and shocked at what she heard.  The blatant abuse made her angry and more determined to protect this little boy and keep him with her.  When he mentioned about his mother’s untimely death from big headaches she realised how much the boy missed his mother and what she was doing was similar, in many ways, to what his mother used to do, with a few exceptions.

Exhausted after his emotional and psychological ordeal Madison closed his eyes and slept.  Jill cradled him in her arms.  God he was beautiful, more so now she was aware of his torrid ordeal and desperate journey. At this moment she had a tired infant in her arms. That was the picture he presented.  He stirred slightly and she managed to slip his dummy into his mouth.  Immediately he began to s_ck it.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw the wet patch in the front of his nappy grow bigger.  Yes, she mused, he was just a baby, really.

Jill knew from her experiences with Bethany that this type of sleep induced by pent up nervous energy lasted a short time, maybe twenty minutes to a half hour.  She continued to cradle him.  He twitched and wriggled as he slept. His dummy continued to bobble in his mouth sometimes vigorously.  She could almost see the images he had related being replayed while he slept.  She felt his nappy grow warm again this time soaking the seat of his nappy and her hand.

Finally his eyes flickered open and he nuzzled her slightly.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” she whispered.  He nodded and nestled in closer. “I think I need to change a wet bottom,” she cooed.  He looked at her and nodded slightly. Madison knew he was wet but it didn’t concern him.  After all she would fix him up and make it all better. 

Jill reached over to the table beside the couch and retrieved a fresh nappy.  At the same time she gathered the wipes and cream.  She was pleased she had the foresight to place some supplies close by.  It had always proved ideal for Bethany and now it was doing so for him.  She noticed a towel lying over the back of the couch and grabbed that too.  The last thing she wanted to do was to lay him on the couch and wet the fabric.  Standing with him still cradled in her arms she managed, with some effort, to spread the towel over the couch.  She knew he didn’t want to be put down.  He seemed to constantly pull himself closer to her.  Finally she laid him on the towel and sat beside him.  At the same time she smiled lovingly at him and she watched him melt before her eyes.
Madison was at Jill’s mercy.  He lay on the couch hands beside his head and a very wet nappy bunched between his legs.  He sighed and suc-ked his dummy.  Jill touched the wet cloth.

“My, what a very wet baby,” she cooed as she carefully lifted back his pyjama top exposing his soft tummy. “Yes he is. Yes he is. A very wet baby,” she continued as she caressed his tummy.  Madison smiled around his dummy.  Jill was thrilled.  It was the first time he had smiled at her out of genuine trust. “Wow what a gorgeous smile,” she declared.  This induced a broader response.  Jill reached for the nappy pins and slipped them from the cloth.  As she pulled the wet nappy away from his groin he parted his legs to allow her more access. “Good baby,” she said softly as she pushed his ankles until his bottom was clear of the nappy enabling her to remove it.  Taking a few wipes she wiped his bottom.  Madison flinched slightly when she touch the rash.  Jill acknowledged his pain with a reassuring smile.

Deftly Jill slipped a fresh nappy under his bottom, rubbed soothing cream over his rash then pinned the nappy closed.

“There darling,” she responded. “One clean dry baby.”  Madison quickly rolled onto his knees and before Jill could leave the couch and crawled to her and she responded by taking him in her arms again.  He definitely needed reassurance now she mused as he snuggled in.  It was clear to her that he was putting all his trust in her now and that was exactly how she wanted it.

With her ‘baby’ still in her arms she took the wet nappy to the laundry placing with his other soiled nappies ready for her attention.  Jill returned to the lounge and sat down again.  At this point it was important for her to maintain that tangible link to him.  In a way it was part of the bonding process she was building.

Finally she seated herself on the couch with Madison on her lap. He nestled into her again and she wrapped her arms around him.  There was a long silence until Madison looked up at her with soulful eyes.

“Where’s da children?” he asked quietly around his dummy.

Jill looked at him for a moment considering his question. “There are no children,’ she said softly.  Madison looked puzzled.  He looked towards the photos then back at her.

“But…” he paused.

“Ahh those,” responded Jill. “I had a daughter,” she admitted.  He still looked bemused.

“Where…?”

“Oh she’s died just over a year ago along with her Daddy,” Jill continued her voice developing a faraway tone. Madison’s eyes widened and Jill could see the shock in them. “One Saturday they were on their way into Sheridan to swim. She liked swimming and my husband Rob was teaching her.  Anyway a large truck drove through an intersection without stopping and drove straight into them killing both of them…” Jill’s voice trailed off as she looked at the photos on the wall. Recounting the tragedy again was difficult. Madison could feel her arms tighten slightly around him.  He wanted to squirm but didn’t.  Jill kissed him tenderly, almost absentmindedly on his head. “She would have been five now you know,” Jill volunteered softly. “She would have loved school,” she continued.  She looked at him. “Bethany was a pretty girl you know.  Just like you.”  Madison blushed. Jill realised then what she said. “Oh I’m not suggesting that you are a girl sweetie. It’s just that you are a beautiful boy and she was a beautiful girl.  She had big brown eyes, long dark hair, a cute button nose and a smiling mouth that was always laughing and smiling.  She was a happy girl, very busy and energetic,” Jill described with immense pride in her tone.  Madison quickly picked up the impression that he would have liked this girl now he knew her name.  It was a pretty name and he liked it.  He knew a Bethany at school and she was nice.  “I really miss them both but especially Bethany,” whispered Jill.  She looked at him again. “Just like you miss your Mummy.  I suppose, in a way, we are both lost souls looking for that important someone in our lives,” suggested Jill.  Madison had no idea what she was talking about but, yes, he did miss his Mummy.  Suddenly he turned in her arms and flung them around her neck.  This action caught Jill by surprise.  When he nuzzled his face into her neck she wrapped her arms lovingly around him pulling him closer.  Her hand went to his padded bottom and she started to pat it.  At the same time she began to kiss the side of his face. Madison could feel his nappy being patted and the warm soft cloth being rubbed over his bottom.  It felt wonderful and reassuring.  He knew it shouldn’t because after all he was ten not two, but all the same it was great.

“Mummy,” he whispered before he could stop himself.  Jill was touched.  This boy,  she barely knew and had only ‘found’ a few hours ago was now calling her ‘Mummy’ a word she hadn’t heard, and thought she would never hear again after Bethany’s passing.  Madison was embarrassed.  He hadn’t intended to call her Mummy but it slipped out.  He kept his face buried too scared to show it, such was his embarrassment.

Jill figured he was embarrassed and started rubbing his back by way of reassurance.  Now was the time she thought.  Now was the time to set everything on track, in her mind especially.

“Would you like me to be your Mummy?” she whispered to him.  Madison was surprised slightly by the question and didn’t respond initially. “Would you?” she probed. “Look at me darling,” she asked.  Madison lifted his head and looked at her.  Jill noted immediately that he was suc-king his dummy quite vigorously.  He looked into her eyes.  He wanted to answer but had trouble getting it out. “Do you darling?”  He nodded.

Jill’s eyes lit up. “Oh baby of course I will,” she cooed pulling him into an affectionate hug. “Of course I will,” she repeated. “You are such an adorable boy who wouldn’t want to have you for themselves.”  Silence prevailed.  Jill decided to embark on the next step in her plan.  She could feel him relax under her embrace. Now was the time she mused. “Madison darling, I have something I would like to ask you, can you look at me honey?” she asked.  Madison lifted his head and looked at her.  Jill noticed immediately how relaxed his face looked.  It was almost as if her acceptance of him as his mother had lifted an enormous burden off his tiny, frail shoulders.

“Yeth Mummy,” he lisped.  She kissed him affectionately on the forehead.

“Would you be my….”

“Yeth,” he interrupted before she had time to finish.

“…Baby,” she finished.  Madison knew he had just agreed to something without hearing the full question. He thought she was going to ask him to be her son not her baby. “You know what you have agreed to?” she quizzed.  He looked at her.

“I fink so,” he lisped but he was still slightly confused.

“You have agreed to be my baby,” she clarified. “Understand?”

“I fink so.”

“You have to be sure sweetheart,” she reasoned.  It had to be his decision.  She wasn’t going to pressure him.  He had to agree and be happy with that.  He nodded.  “You know what it means darling?” she asked.

“I fink so,” he murmured.

“You need to be sure little one,” she said. “You tell me what it means so I know you understand.”

Madison looked at her intently.  He had a number of vague thoughts in his mind but was too hesitant to voice them.  He shifted on her lap and his nappy rubbed between his legs.  Jill waited patiently. This was important for her so she could hear it from him.

Madison swallowed and suc-ked on his dummy.

“Just tell me what you think when you are ready,” offered Jill her voice in a whisper.  Madison nodded.

A few minutes ticked by.  Madison could feel his bladder fill.  He fidgeted. He let the dummy slip from his mouth.  Jill immediately picked up the corner of his bib and wiped his mouth and chin.

“Ahhh…” he paused. “I…I...drink bottles and have a dummy. I sleep in a crib and I…I…” he paused again and looked down then looked up blushing. “I wear nappies.” There it was out and immediately he hid his face in her shoulder out of sheer embarrassment.

“Yes darling,” she concurred. “You’re right. You’ll be my baby, okay” she probed.

“Yeth,” he whispered and nestled in closer.

Jill picked up his dummy. “Here darling,” she inquired.  Madison turned his face and took the rubber nipple and starting suc-king. “Good baby,” she cooed.  He sighed and his bladder emptied.  Jill felt his nappy grow warm and smiled. Oh yes you are my baby now she said to herself.

[nappy1]

Yes there is more.  Enjoy!

Part 5.

Jill resisted the urge to change him.  He was going to have a bath soon after a light dinner.  He could wait until then.  After all he will have to get used to being in wet nappies she thought.

“Come on darling,” she finally said. “How about some din-dins?”  Without waiting for an answer she left the couch and carried him out into the kitchen. Jill headed for the highchair near the far wall and dragged it over near the table.  Pulling back the tray she slipped him in and secured the tray in front.

Madison sat secured in the highchair.  He looked around the kitchen.  It felt strange sitting in the infantile chair.  He could feel the dampness of his nappy press into his crotch and bottom.  He fidgeted.  He wasn’t sure about what the future held.  What had he let himself in for?  Why had he been so hasty with his answer?  He continued to s_ck his dummy.  At least to him it felt reassuring.  suc-king his thumb was one habit he had always had.  His mother indulged him and even encouraged his use of a pacifier at bedtime right up until her untimely death.  But his father on the other hand was less tolerant.  Once they were alone he made Madison’s life difficult if the boy had his thumb in his mouth.  As for using his pacifier that ceased because his father threw them out. 

“Only babies use these!” he scowled.

Often Madison would be met with a slap to the hand or face if his thumb was there.  Even at night when curled up in his bed, often sobbing to himself, his father would come into his room and rip his out of his mouth, sometimes tying his hands up or even cuffing them to the bed.  He was blatantly cruel but it didn’t stop the very insecure boy from indulging secretly in his only comfort.  Now with Jill it was different.  She was encouraging his use of a pacifier and Madison took to it readily.
He watched as Jill prepared something at the bench.  He couldn’t see what she was doing but whatever it was smelt delicious.

Jill decided that scrambled egg would be a perfect light meal for him.  She was still cautious about putting anything too heavy or bulky in his stomach.  After all with his seriously under nourished condition it was important to slowly lift his nutrition levels. She decided she would make herself an omelette later after she had put him down for the night.
Occasionally she would steal a glance at him. He looked positively angelic strapped in the high chair.  In fact she was surprised how well he fitted into the infant furniture.  She could see him idly swinging his legs and caught a glimpse of his white nappy bunched between his legs. To her he looked every inch a toddler.  His pacifier bobbling in his mouth, the white bib tied around his neck and his delicate hands pawing absentmindedly at the tray of the chair confirmed the image in her mind.  Yes, she thought, he was going to be a perfect baby.  Given his very thin and short stature he certainly did not look like a near 10 year old, not even a 6 or 7 year old.  At present he looked every inch a three to four year old.  She would slowly and carefully make him totally dependent on her for everything.
Having made the scrambled egg she stirred it to cool even spooning some to her lips to test its temperature.  The last thing she wanted to do was burn his mouth.  Madison saw her do this and he began to dribble with saliva dribbling down his chin behind the shield of his dummy.
Jill approached the high chair stirring the egg.  She settled herself in front of him greeting him with an affectionate smile.  She removed his pacifier with a ‘plop’.   She noticed the wetness behind his dummy, picking up the corner of his bib she wiped his chin and mouth.

“Is my baby hungry?” she cooed as she filled the first spoonful.  Madison had his mouth open before it was full. “Oh sweetie you are,” she cooed as she placed the spoonful in his mouth.  The taste in Madison’s mouth was exotic.  He crushed the smooth textured food and swallowed it opening his mouth for the next spoonful.  Jill prattled to him as she fed him.  She couldn’t keep up with his demand.  At one point he closed his mouth early and the egg cascaded down his chin and bib and onto the tray of the chair. “Whoops sweetie careful darling,” she Jill as she scooped it up and placed it in his mouth. “My, what a hungry baby,” she stated as the bowl quickly emptied.  With the last spoonful she wiped his mouth with the spoon. “All gone sweetheart,” she said showing him the empty bowl.  Madison pouted.  He had thoroughly enjoyed the meal.  “Never mind darling you can have a small sandwich with marmite while I get your bath ready,” she stated as she placed the bowl on the bench and prepared the sandwich.  The small wedges were placed on his tray and she left the kitchen while he ate it.

Madison loved marmite sandwiches especially when he suc-ked the bread to extract the rich yeasty flavour.  It did not matter whether the marmite was spread on crackers, toast or as a sandwich filling he liked to lick and s_ck the slightly bitter yeast extract spread. His mother often chided him for this habit because he would inevitably smear his face with the remnants of the rich black paste but she never stopped him.  She used to chuckle at the messy condition which often resulted. This never happened with his father because he never got marmite sandwiches or marmite at all.  The only food which tended to appear was bread which was often dry and stale as most of the money in the house was spent on booze with bread being added as an afterthought.  He was thankful for school lunch which enabled him to widen his diet slightly but still not enough to improve his nutritional intake. Thus, slowly over time Madison lost weight and condition.

He enjoyed the sandwiches.  He happily suc-ked out the juice of the dark rich filling.  He could feel the juice run down his chin but he didn’t care.  This was the first time had had one of these sandwiches since before his mother’s death and he was savouring every morsel and every drip of the spread and saliva mix.  He happened to look down and noticed the dark stains where his marmitey saliva had dribbled down his bib.  He picked up a piece of soggy bread and put it in his mouth.  Boy it was good.
Jill reappeared in the kitchen to see how he was progressing with the sandwich and retrieve him for his bath.  Her mouth dropped when saw the condition he was in.  His face was smeared with marmite and soggy bread.  His hands were a gooey mess and she could see bits of soggy bread on the tray of his chair.  He was every inch the picture of a messy toddler.

“Oh, what a messy baby,” she chided him softly as she tried to wipe his face and hands with his already dirty bib.  He looked up at her and gave her a sloppy marmite and bread grin. “Don’t you smile at me your mucky baby,” she chuckled. “You really enjoyed that didn’t you little one?” she asked not expecting an answer as she unclipped the tray of the chair and lifted him out of infant apparatus and placed him on his feet.  Taking his sticky hand she led him down to the bathroom.  Madison toddled unsteadily alongside her.  He still wasn’t sure of his balance.  Jill was acutely aware of this as she felt him lurch slightly.  She put it down to his dire predicament earlier that day.  She felt confident that this situation would rectify itself over the coming days as he gained strength and reaped the benefit of a proper diet.

As Madison toddled down the hallway with Jill holding his hand he could feel the nappy rub between his legs and around his bottom.  It was the first time he had walked in a nappy as throughout the day he was either being carried around, cradled in her arms or standing in one place.  The sensation was unusual but not unpleasant.  The presence of the bulky cloth was accentuated by its wet condition.  This made it droop between his legs.  He had been in nappies all day and already was becoming used to them.  He knew in the back of mind that this would continue after all he had agreed to be her baby and as her baby he would be confined to nappies.

He was stirred from his day dream when he stopped beside the bath.  He looked at the steaming water and the soapy foam floating on the top.  The steam snaked up from the water bringing with it the aroma of the bubble bath that his ‘mother’ had added.  Jill knelt in front of him and he looked at her.  She smiled.

“Right little one let’s get you in the tub eh,” she said and began to remove his bib and pink pyjama top which were dropped to the floor.  These were followed by his singlet. “Hold on to Mummy,” she urged.  Madison grabbed her shirt to steady himself as he watched her remove his booties.  Now he was standing just clad in his wet nappy. “Now this nasty old wet nap-nap,” she cooed and she removed both nappy pins and the wet garment flopped to the floor with a soggy ‘splot’. “Right baby into the tub,” she said as she lifted him by his armpits and placed him in the warm water.
As he sat in the warm water Madison watched her pick up his clothes and drop them a hamper labelled ‘My Baby’s Clothes’ and drop his wet nappy into a large light blue pail.   Probably a nappy bucket, thought Madison, for my nappies.  Jill returned to the bath knelt down and picked up a large white flannel and began to rub it gently over his back.  Madison revelled in the sensation.  It felt great as the soft wet fibres caressed his sensitive skin.  He looked up at her.  Jill lathered up the flannel and began to wash his chest and arms along with his back. She rinsed him off with quantities of warm water. 

It had been a long time since anyone had bathed him.  He remembered his mother bathing him and knew it was something he enjoyed.  He wasn’t sure now though.  He was a bit apprehensive about it now after all he was nearly ten and could wash himself and he didn’t really know her.  After his mother had passed away he managed to snatch the odd shower only after his father had collapsed into a drunken sleep. During the summer it was different because he was able to use class swimming as an opportunity for a daily ‘bath’ and sometimes snuck down to the local stream to wash and swim as well.  As the weather cooled this practice became fraught. So this was first real and proper bath in a while.  Of course he couldn’t remember the bath he had been given very early that morning.

Jill sensed his apprehension about her giving him a bath but she was determined to make it a truly wonderful experience. She could feel the tenseness in his thin fragile body.  She cast her eyes over the bruises on his tiny frail torso as the flannel caressed his chest.  Her heart ached for him.  How they must have hurt.  How could anyone do this to such a beautiful and angelic creature especially his father of all people who is supposed to be protecting his child not assaulting him. Jill knew in her own mind that he would never experience anything thing like that ever again now he was with her.  Maybe he might receive the odd smack to his nappied bottom if he ever misbehaved but it would only be a ‘correctional tap’ not an all-out assault.  She sincerely hoped that the sensuous actions of the flannel would penetrate his defences, reassure his mind and relax his being, and start that vital bonding and trust which was necessary.  She smiled at him lovingly as she rinsed the soap off him.

“Lie back darling,” she cooed and she coaxed him lie in the warm water supporting him under his neck and shoulders.  Madison shuddered slightly and twitched in the water. “It’s alright precious Mummy wants to make sure her baby boy is clean and fresh, okay,” she whispered.  He nodded slightly swallowing the build-up of nervous saliva in his mouth. Slowly Jill washed his arms again then worked her way down his body and legs to his feet.  He twitched when she washed his feet.  He was ticklish.  Then she worked her way up the inside of his legs.  Madison could feel the flannel massage its way up towards his groin. “Leggies apart darling so Mummy can wash your botty,” she asked.  He looked at her intently and swallowed again but parted them as the flannel reached his inner thighs.  Jill could feel him spread his legs. “Good baby,” she praised.  Madison took a sharp breath in when she started washing around his peenie and caressed his little sack.  Again Jill gave him a reassuring smile.  She worked the flannel down between his legs and worked her fingers between his bum-cheeks then over his little globes. “What a good boy?” she cooed. “Such a good baby, aren’t you eh.  There, nice clean botty and a lovely clean baby boy,” she said lifting him to a sitting position.  With a final rinse of the flannel she washed his face and ears.  When she removed the flannel he looked at her and a small smile crept along his shiny face. He had enjoyed that bath.  He shouldn’t been worried or embarrassed about her ministration because she had been wiping his bottom every time she changed his nappy and this was really no different. “Was that good darling?” she asked. 

“Yes Mummy,” he whispered.

Jill released the water and lifted him under his armpits and stood him on the bathmat where she wrapped him in a large soft pink bath towel and gave his body several vigorous rubs before lifting him into her arms and exiting the bathroom.  Madison felt relaxed and deliciously warm.  The pink towel seemed to trap the warmth inside.

Jill carried the warm damp body into the nursery and laid him on the changing table.  She opened the towel and continued to dry him.  Madison lay in front of her transfixed as she rubbed the towel over every square millimetre of his skin.  He didn’t ‘bat an eyelid’ when carefully parted his legs and wiped the creases in his groin, around his bottom and peenie.  In fact he became slightly embarrassed as his peenie began to thicken when she dried it.  Jill ignored it.  Before he was aware of what he was doing, his thumb was in his mouth and he was happily suc-king the warm morsel.
Just like Bethany used to do mused Jill.  She used to do it when she was content so she hoped that was the case for him.  She ignored it initially as she focused on drying him thoroughly. Madison felt his body being rolled around like a baby as Jill removed the damp towel from under him.  She leaned him and reached into a dish above Madison’s head.  His eyes followed her but he couldn’t see what she doing.  His thumb remained in his mouth.  Jill grabbed a pink pacifier. 

“Let’s take this out sweetie,” she cooed as she gently pulled his thumb from his mouth.  He let her. “Here darling this is better,” she continued as she placed the rubber nipple against his lips.  Madison opened his mouth and the pacifier slipped in.  He started suc-king it immediately.  The nipple was bigger than the one he had had earlier in the day and the shield was bigger covering all his mouth and resting just below his nose.  The rubbery bulb filled his mouth more but the sensations it produced as his mouth worked on it were just the same if not better.  Jill was pleased.  It was obvious now that the pacifier was going to be become an important part of his life.  She watched it as it bobbled in his mouth.  She leaned over and kissed him tenderly on the forehead.  She heard him sigh.  Yes, she thought, he was content.

Jill picked up the baby powder and sprinkled a generous amount over his body and rubbed it all over.  Picking up his ankles together she lifted his legs back and slipped a clean thick nappy under his bottom.  She let his feet go and was amazed that he left them bent over his tummy in the classic nappy change position.  She picked up the baby oil and started to massage it over his bottom, sack and peenie.  Picking up the discarded bath towel she wiped her hands.  Smiled lovingly at him she pulled the nappy up between his legs the thick cloth spreading his legs wider. Just before she closed the nappy she picked up his peenie and slipped it down between his legs.

“Let’s point your little person down there eh, so my baby’s wee-wees goes into his nappy,” she happily explained.  Madison could feel her shift his little tool and place it carefully then covered it until it was cocooned in the soft nappy.  Deftly she pinned the nappy snugly closed.  Madison looked down as she inserted the two pink-tipped nappy pins into the cloth and closed them with a ‘click’. Jill patted the thick cloth bunched between his legs. “All snug as a bug,” she cooed.  Next she pushed his legs back again and slipped a pair of yellow pilchers under the nappy and velcroed them closed.

Madison watched as she slipped a yellow pair of soft woollen booties over his feet and tied the ribbons.  The whole time Madison lay on the table allowing his new Mummy to dress him like a baby.  He did nothing to help in fact he didn’t think anything was expected of him. This was confirmed when he felt his head being carefully lifted and a singlet was slipped over and his arms inserted then his body was rolled from side to side as the garment was eased down his body and pulled down over his bulky bottom.  Jill picked up a yellow pyjama top with small brown bears dotted over it and did the same.  His head was lifted, the top slipped over his head, his arms threaded into the sleeves and his body moved as it was eased down his body.  Madison could feel her tying the yellow ribbon at his throat and wrists.  Finally a pink bib was tied around his neck.
Madison wasn’t sure about the use of pink things.  Yellow he didn’t mind after all it could be a boy’s colour but pink was a different proposition.  Then he figured that these clothes he was being dressed in probably belonged to her daughter.  He was amazed that they fit him.  He knew he was small for his age.  That was something he had been bullied over right through his schooling but he didn’t think he was that small unless, of course, her daughter had been bigger than your average toddler.  That was it, he satisfied himself, that was the only possible answer.

Before he knew he could feel his ‘Mummy’s’ hands slip under his armpits again and he was lifted into her arms.

“Come on little one,” she cooed as she settled him on her hip and straightened his bib and pyjama top and started to exit the nursery. “Time for a nice warm bottle, eh.”  Madison looked at her not saying anything.  There really wasn’t anything to say she was doing everything for him including making his decisions and answering his questions for him. He placed his arms around her shoulder and looked around as they walked down the hallway and into the lounge where Jill dropped the damp towel over the fireguard then carried on into the kitchen. 

Madison saw the nipple of a bottle protruding out of a jug which had small wisps of steam escaping.  Jill picked up the bottle and gave it several shakes before drying it and heading into the lounge and the large comfortable couch.

After seating herself she swung him around until he was cradled in her arms.  Madison nestled in.  It felt warm and snug.  He could feel the warmth radiant from her body adding to the warmth provided by the bath. He began to feel sleepy.  Jill watched as he stifled a yawn.
“I think my little boy is a very tired baby, eh,” she cooed as she adjusted his bib and slipped his dummy out of his mouth.  After wiping his chin she placed the dripping rubber nipple on his lips.  Immediately Madison took the warm nipple and starting nursing.  Jill could see and hear his audible suc-ks.  He was guzzling the warm formula.  “Wow, wow little one slow down. You’ll fill your tummy with wind,” she crooned as she withdrew the nipple momentarily.  Madison mewled.  He wanted the bottle especially the warm sweet liquid inside.  Jill smiled at him as she reinserted the nipple and he started nursing.

Madison loved the sensation of the warm rubber nipple over his tongue and the roof of his mouth.  With each s_ck his mouth filled with the deliciously soothing liquid.  Whatever it was tasted magical.  He could feel his tummy filling each time he swallowed.  Jill could hear his swallows too.  Madison shifted in her arms and nestled closer. He could feel his body relax.  He felt so tired, so sleepy.  Jill watched his eyes close then open quickly.  He was fighting the onset of sleep.  He closed his eyes again and this time his suc-king slowed.  He sighed deeply and resumed suc-king vigorously only to slow again.  Jill looked at the bottle.  He was about three quarters of the way through it.

“Come on little one,” she whispered. “Just a little more.”  Madison stopped suc-king. Small bubbles gurgled into the bottle as the air rapidly filled the space.  Jill rubbed the nipple over his tongue. He began to s_ck again for a few minutes then stopped.  Jill could see he was asleep. His breathing had slowed.  Slowly she extracted the nipple and the milk that was in his mouth oozed out over his chin and onto his bib. Carefully Jill wiped away the excess.  Looking at the bottle she noticed that there was only a few millilitres left.  Well, she mused, at least he had taken most of it.

Very carefully she lifted him until he was propped against her with his head on her shoulder. He wriggled and squirmed.  Supporting his padded bottom with one hand she patted and rubbed his back.  He squirmed again.  He was just like a baby she chuckled to herself.  Suddenly he released several burps.

“Good baby,” she whispered as she continued to rub his back.  He burped again and nuzzled her shoulder.  Carefully rising to her feet she carried the sleeping infant to his nursery.  She had a feeling jiggling in the back of her mind that this could be a restless night.  After untying his bib and easing his dummy into his mouth she laid the sleeping child in the crib, adjusted his pyjama top and slipped her fingers into the legs of his nappy.  He was wet but not overly. After brushing his soft blonde hair over his forehead she leaned over him and planted a soft but loving kiss on his forehead.  He wriggled slightly and suc-ked vigorously on his pacifier. Jill covered him with the warm duvet, raised the side of the crib, checked to make sure the baby monitor was on and his night dimmed to its lowest level then stole from the nursery.  Before exiting completely she turned and looked over in the direction of the crib and hugged herself.  Oh yes it was great having a baby in the nursery once more.

[nappy1]

Part 6

There he was again drunkenly lurching towards him.  Madison cowered away and furtively looked for a way to escape.  He knew he was quicker than his drunken father whose clumsy movements made evading him easy.  Madison felt the table behind him.  He was trapped.

“Come here you little bashtard,” his father slurred as he lunged for his son. In his befuddled mind this boy was the sole reason his life had spiralled out of control.  It was he that caused his beloved Maria’s death.  The whinny little brat.  Why had she gone and left him to look after this good-for-nothing weakling.  Madison screamed and ducked as his father tried to grab him.

“fuc-kin’ little shit you won’t get away from me,” he slurred as he tried to lash out at the small defenceless boy.  Madison screamed again as the toe of his father’s foot slammed into his knee.  God it hurt! What had he done? Madison was perplexed as he evaded his belligerent father.  Nothing!  He hadn’t done anything.  Just been there.  That seemed enough these days. He screamed again.

Jill jolted awake with the first scream.  Madison!  He flew out of bed and bounded into the nursery.  Her baby was thrashing about in his crib trying to evade something. Quickly she dropped the side of the crib and grabbed the wriggling mass.  Madison struggled and screamed again and again.  With effort she managed to clutch him to her body and avoid his flailing arms and legs.  She held him tight and waited for his struggles to subside.


“Sh…sh…sh… baby it’s Mummy,” she whispered in an effort to quieten and soothe her struggling baby.  “Open your eyes darling and look at Mummy,” she cooed.

Madison could hear that soothing voice he had come to recognise.  He rubbed his face into Jill’s shoulder.  He lifted his head and could just make out her face in the dim light.

“Mummy…” he croaked.

Jill smiled lovingly at him.  “Yes darling. You’re safe sweetheart.  Did you have a bad dream?” she cooed.

“Yeeess…” Madison’s voice wavered.

“Oh darling that nasty man won’t get again sweetheart. You’re safe with Mummy.  Mummy will protect her baby,” she said quietly her heart ached for him. It was apparent to him that he had been through some torrid times and his mind was still replaying them. Jill paced the nursery slowly in an attempt to pacify him.  She knew and could feel he was agitated.  “Shh…shh…little one it’s alright,” she whispered.  Madison continued to grizzle.

“Make the pictures stop Mummy!” he grizzled. “Make them go!” Madison was referring to the lasting images from his nightmare.  Every time he closed his eyes he could still see and smell his father’s aggressive approach.  It frightened him to his core.  He didn’t want to be plagued by these for ever.  He would never cope.

“It’s okay sweetie. Mummy will help make them go away.  She will,” she cooed to him. “Let Mummy change your nappy first then she’ll help, okay.”

“Okkayy…” he whimpered.

Jill carried him to the changing table and carefully laid him down.  Madison continued to grizzle.

“Make themgooooo…” he grizzled moving his head from side to side.
Jill leaned over him and caressed his forehead brushing his blonde locks aside and kissing him softly.

“Shush little one. It’s going to be okay,” she reassured him. “Mummy promises to make them go.”  Madison had lost his pacifier in his bed so Jill reached over behind his head and retrieved another pink dummy and slipped it onto his mouth.  Madison took it immediately and starting suc-king it vigorously highlighting his agitated state.  Quickly Jill folded back his pyjama top, opened his pilchers spreading them under him.  She removed his nappy pins.

“My, what a wet wee baby,” she cooed to him.  He continued to grizzle.  Deftly she lifted his legs and removed the wet cloth.  When she wiped his bottom he grizzled louder and tried to move away.  His bottom was still tender. “Sorry darling but Mummy has to clean your botty.  Try and be a good baby for Mummy and lie still,” she explained.  He stopped moving trying to please her. “Good baby,” she praised softly. “You’re such a good bubba,” she reassured him.

Madison could hear her soft, smooth reassuring voice through his grizzles.  In slightly less than twenty-four hours he had come to love the sound of her voice.  It was so soothing and calming, yet loving and full of affection.  Jill took advantage of his compliance to finish carefully wiping his bottom and applying some healing cream.  Madison felt his legs being lifted and the soft touch of the nappy against his bottom.  His grizzling subsided slightly as his ‘Mummy’ pulled the soft cloth between his legs and snugly pin it closed.  Jill replaced his pilchers and pulled his pyjama top down.

Jill slipped her hands under his arm pits and lifted him into her arms.
“There we go precious a nice dry botty. Now come on Bubby Mummy’s got something that might help her little one,” she said softly as she clutched him to her chest.  Madison continued to grizzle as he rubbed his face across her fleecy nightie.  Jill slowly walked across the nursery towards a large comfortable armchair nestled in the corner of the room.  She settled herself into its soft cushions and manoeuvred him until he was cradled in her arms facing her chest slightly. 

Madison could feel himself nestling in her arms and was sure that a warm soothing bottle would be placed in his mouth.  It was comfortable and soft. He could feel the warmth radiating from her body and he wanted every bit of it. He waited in anticipation for the warm rubber nipple even though it should have been contrary to proper ten year old behaviour.  He could almost taste the warm milk.  He didn’t care about what should be expected of him. He was doing what his mind was telling him and what his body wanted. But most importantly he was doing what his new Mummy wanted him to do.  After all it was food and he craved it.  He ignored the rustling and fiddling taking place in front of him.  He continued to s_ck his dummy in anticipation.

Jill decided while she was changing his nappy that a new phase was needed for him.  He was highly agitated and the nightmare had upset him. She knew from past experience with her beloved Bethany that a period of quiet nursing often settled her and allowed her to sleep.  She was going to try this tactic with Madison.  She wasn’t sure how he would react.  In fact she expected firm resistance because it was going to signal another direction in his assimilation, another route for him to travel to babyhood. Ultimately her goal was to have him breastfeeding, to be totally dependent on her for everything – his food, his warmth, his clothing, his hygiene and his security – to be her baby.  Although she had no milk at the moment she felt that it was a matter of another day or two before she would begin lactating.  She had been working with the breast pump and taken some lactation inducing medication she had purchased in case she needed to use them with Bethany.  Allthese action were designed to initiate proceedings.  Already her breasts were tingling and having Madison nurse from tonight onwards would stimulate them more.
When Jill was satisfied with the way she had Madison situated she undid the buttons of her nightie exposing her large white breast with its prominent nipple and areola. In the dim light the creamy skin gleamed slightly.  Jill pinched and massaged the nipple causing it to expand. She looked at Madison nestled in her arm.  He was suc-king his pacifier, still whimpering quietly with his eyes closed.  Jill shifted her right hand until it was carefully placed behind his head.  He didn’t move. She felt no resistance. Very carefully she withdrew his dummy dropping it in her lap. He whimpered. Leaning over him she whispered very softly to him.

“Come on darling Mummy’s got something very special for you.”  Madison heard her voice and responded lifting his face towards the soothing tones.  Jill moved his head towards her nipple until it touched his lips. “Open up darling.  Open up for Mummy,” she cooed pressing the warm soft nipple against his lips.  He responded and parted his lips.  Instantly Jill inserted the nipple into his mouth.  She kept pressing and probing. “Open wider precious,” she coaxed.  Again he responded and opened his mouth wider and Jill pushed the nipple further into his mouth until touched his tongue. “s_ck sweetheart s_ck,” she encouraged him.  Once again Madison reacted and starting suc-king.

Madison could feel the pressure of Jill’s hand on the back of his head. He ignored it.  He trusted her.  He felt the soft warm rubbery nipple on his lips.  This wasn’t the warm bottle he had been expecting.  He was drawn to her soothing voice probing his defences and fingering through his subconscious. He was spellbound by its lilting and smooth tone.  He responded immediately as the voice requested.  It was cajoling him yet encouraging him as well.  He took the soft morsel into his mouth and started to s_ck.  It was a different texture as he passed his tongue over it and pressed it to the roof of his mouth.  He could feel it expand and rest on his tongue.  He continued to suc-kle like he did with his pacifier and he liked suc-king that.

Jill was thrilled.  He hadn’t fought against her.  She had carefully used her soft reassuring voice to mould him around to what she wanted and he had responded.  His s_ck was strong.

“Good bubba,” she crooned softly sighing.  He had taken her. “Mummy is so pleased with her baby,” she continued to encourage him.  “Such a good, good baby. Keep nursing honey it’ll help.”

Madison followed her instructions.  He wanted to please her and he wanted to be a good baby. To him it seemed the right thing to do after all she was helping him and he was putting his trust in her.  He felt safe in her arms.  He could feel her aura envelope him and form a protective cocoon around him.  Not even his father or anyone else would get him. She would be his protector, his saviour.  Madison knew he was slipping under her spell and he was powerless to stop it.  She was providing something which had been missing from his life ever since his mother had gone; that all important love and nurturing.  His father certainly didn’t provide it and now this woman, a person he had known less than twenty-four hours was now providing it in vast quantities, more than he could ever want.  Madison loved and wanted to soak up as much as he could.
Jill was feeling pleased with the way everything was progressing. He was nursing, quite contentedly suc-kling from her breast.  Proper breastfeeding was only a matter of time and he would do it, she knew and sensed it.  She smiled to herself as he snuggled closer and took more of her breast into his mouth.  Carefully she removed her hand from behind his head and lovingly caressed his temple and cheek.  Madison shuddered at the silky touch.  It was intoxicating.  He wriggled his bottom allowing the soft nappy to rub over his skin.  He really felt like a baby now.

Jill noted his grizzling had stopped.  She could feel his small body relax.  She let him suc-kle for a while then very carefully broke the seal around his lips, removed the nipple and picked him up until he was lying with his head on her shoulder.  She patted his padded bottom and rubbed his back.  He murmured slowly and snuggled his face into her neck.  She could feel his warm breath on her skin.  His breathing was steady and shallow.  He was dozing.  He wriggled in her arms and murmured again.

“Ssshhh….little one.  You can have some more in a moment. Such a good baby, aren’t you precious? Mummy’s dear, dear baby boy,” she cooed ever encouraging, ever brainwashing him.  He rubbed face across her fleecy nightie and felt his bladder empty involuntarily and his nappy slowly grew warm and wet.

Jill shifted him until he was cradled in her other arm, opened her nightie exposing her other breast at the same time turned his head.  He opened his mouth as the nipple reached him and he immediately started suc-kling again.  Jill sighed he had searched for it himself.  Perfect, she thought, you’re a real baby now.

[nappy1]

Part 7.

Madison’s eyes flicked open.  He was lying on his tummy in his crib his pacifier playing over his tongue.  He was enjoying the pleasant sensations the rubber nipple offered. He couldn’t remember when his Mummy put him back to bed. Anyway what did it matter! His nursery was lighter.  Some daylight was fingering into the room around the edges of the drapes. He shifted and felt the bulky nappy rub between his legs.  He knew he was wet.  He could feel the warm wet mass between his legs. 

Waking up wet was nothing unusual for Madison.  This had been happening over the previous eighteen months to two years.  The deteriorating atmosphere at home combined with his highly stressed state was more than enough for his sensitive bladder and precarious control.  Before his mother’s untimely death if he wet his bed she was always loving and understanding about it.  She was quick to reassure her little boy that accidents do happen, they were not his fault and she knew he couldn’t help it.  She had left the plastic mattress protector on his bed, washed his bed linen and pyjamas.  She encouraged him to wear thick training pants under his pyjamas which helped absorb any accident but still required his bedding to be changed.  He was not a frequent bed-wetter maybe once or twice a fortnight.  His father ignored the situation content to leave his wife to deal with it but he was not impressed with his son’s infantile behaviour.

After his mother died everything changed.  His father’s intolerance showed.  Poor Madison suffered some ignominious and brutal punishment that went with a wet bed once his father was in charge. There were frequent sessions where his wet bottom smacked and his face rubbed into the wet linen.  Over time Madison developed coping mechanisms to avoid the violent reaction of his father.  He would wake before his father, remove his sheets and clothes bundle them up and hide them washing them once his father left for work and drying them in his room.  This worked well overall but occasionally he would be caught and severely punished.  Once his father became obsessed with the booze Madison had to walk a thin line.  The alcohol only made his father more volatile and provoking him often proved fraught and very dangerous.  Madison worked out after several violent incidents to wait until his father passed out on the couch in a drunken stupor then use the opportunity to wash his bedding and clothing and let it dry overnight.  The down side to this was it made his room damp and caused it to smell musty and mouldy. 

He tried to keep himself as clean as possible but it wasn’t always possible.  He knew on many occasions he would arrive at school smelling of stale urine.  He was bullied incessantly and called a ‘piss-pot’ or ‘pissy baby’ by his uncaring and vindictive peers so this did nothing alleviate his stress.  Summer was perfect because he could swim as often as he liked, and did.  This enabled him to wash and maintain a level of hygiene but the faint smell of urine continued to linger within his clothes. Winters really proved problematic, but he tried.  He fought a constant battle against a rash which dogged him during the winter.  The summer sun did help with the healing especially when he swam in the river naked as many of his peers did.

He felt warm and cosy.  His eyes played around the nursery – his nursery now.  He could see the changing table under the window not far from his crib.  A soft arm chair was resplendent in the corner of the room in front of a tall set of cupboards with huge doubles.  He noted a small table beside the chair and a play pen in close proximity.  Another set of cupboards adorned the wall on the other side of the door way with a chest of drawers placed strategically between it and the changing table.
His eyes focused on the bars of his crib.  He fidgeted and realised he was peeing again into his already wet nappy.  What control he had over his bladder had now completely evaporated. This was not surprising as he knew his control was tenuous at the best of times.  He reached out and figured the bars, in doing so his hand brushed over the soft fur a pale yellow soft toy placed near him.  He hadn’t seen it when he awoke earlier.  Madison allowed his fingers to play across the soft fur.  Its touch was velvety.  Where had it come from he mused?  His ‘mother’ must have placed it in his bed during the night.  He smiled at her thoughtfulness.  He hadn’t had a cuddly toy of his own ever since his mother passed away.  Any of the toys he owned had ‘vanished’ during one of his father’s many clean ups.  It nearly broke his heart when his cherished Fuzzy Bear disappeared but he was too frightened to ask his father about its fate.  Madison pulled the bear towards him and cuddled it.

Madison rolled over onto his back and stared at the mobile dangling above him.  He cast his eyes around the sides of the crib which towered above him.  He kicked the covers off and pushed his foot through the bars as he cuddled his new toy to his chest.  He was enjoying his baby bliss. He really didn’t have anything to worry about because he knew his ‘mother’ would take care of him. He suc-ked blissfully on his pacifier working his fingers into the soft fur of his new cuddly toy. Occasionally he would glance in the direction of the door hoping his Mummy would appear.  He missed her.

Jill was dozing.  She had been awake for a while and had quickly shut down the alarm clock before its piercing ring disturbed her baby.  She often woke before its call.  She rubbed her hands over her breasts.  They were very sensitive this morning and appeared to be more fulsome.  Not long she thought and her milk would be in.  She couldn’t wait to have her baby lying beside her filling his tummy with her wonderful nectar and listening to his contented gurgles.  She imagined she could still feel little Maddie suc-king on her nipples after last night’s proceedings.  It was great she thought.  She reflected on the time when Bethany was in her nursery.  Jill loved breastfeeding her daughter and looked forward to each time as a chance to cement her bonds with her beautiful daughter.  She was longing for the same pleasure from Madison.

She lay under the warm covers both ears tuned into the baby monitor.  Was he awake?  She listened intently for any signs.  She could hear his rhythmic suc-king as he worked on his pacifier.  She could make out his fingers playing over the bars of his crib.  She heard the rustling as he moved around on his mattress. He was probably awake.

‘Call out for Mummy,’ she willed him.  ‘Go on sweetie call out for Mummy I want to hear that lovely word.’  It was a word she loved hearing and never tired of.  She considered herself a very good mother.  She loved being a mother.  As far as she was concerned the maternal pangs had always been there right from when she was a girl and were still stronger than ever.  Motherhood sat squarely with her as it fitted in beautifully with her nurturing and loving nature. “Come on little one call Mummy,” she whispered to herself.

Madison wriggled around on his back rubbing his bootie covered foot over the bars the warm sodden mass of his nappy hugged his groin.  He kept looking towards the door of his nursery for her to appear.  Perhaps he should call her to see what sort of reaction he’d get.

“Mummy…” he called around his pacifier. “Mmmmmuuummmmmyyyyy!”

He hoped she wouldn’t be angry but he wanted to see her and feel her embrace.

Jill heard his quiet cry.  It was music to her ears.

“Go on darling,” she whispered. “Just once more.”

Madison strained his ears to her if she had responded. Nothing.

“Mmmmuuummmmmyyyy,” he called slightly louder this time.

Jill smiled to herself as she left her bed, donned her dressing gown and slippers and headed to the nursery. Her baby was calling.  She quietly stole across the hall and crept into the nursery.  She could see his foot on the bars of the crib.  She saw him hold the teddy up and gaze at it.  When she reached the side of the crib she leaned over.  Madison saw her loom over the crib and he smiled broadly. She had come to get him and she wasn’t angry.

“Hello Bubby,” she cooed as she cast her eyes over him and what a beautiful picture of baby innocence he portrayed.  He tousled blonde hair was spread over the mattress.  His dummy was bobbling contentedly in his mouth.  His yellow pyjama top had ridden up revealing his soft pink tummy and clearly exposing his heavily nappied condition.  She could see glimpses of white nappy outside the leg openings of his pilchers as his leg moved and his feet were still encased in the yellow booties. “How’s my baby boy this morning eh?” she cooed.  His smile widened and he kicked his legs.  He tossed aside his teddy and raised his arms to her.  He was inviting her to take him and cuddle him for ever.  Jill released the side of the crib and reach in to gather him.  Placing her hands under his armpits she lifted him into her arms enveloping him a warm affectionate cuddle.  Madison immediately snuggled into her warm body.

“Mummy, Mummy, Mummy,” he squealed delightedly.  He was genuinely thrilled to see and be with his saviour. Jill hugged him closely patting his padded bottom and kissing him repeatedly on the side of his face.

“Such a happy baby this morning, aren’t you? And so pleased to see Mummy,” she cooed.  She could feel him nod as she slipped a couple of fingers onto his nappy.  She knew he would be wet but she liked to check.  That action further confirmed his baby status. “Ohhh what a wet baby darling, a very, very wet baby,” she stated.  He giggled he knew he was. “Come on darling let Mummy change her baby’s wet nappy,” she said as she laid him on the changing table.

Jill was unruffled in her movements and soothing with her touches as she stroked the wisps of blonde hair from his brow smiling adoringly at him as she did.  Madison was captivated by everything about her.  She was like his mother so kind warm and affectionate.  It was obvious to him that she loved him dearly although he couldn’t see why she should.  She didn’t really know him.  She only knew what he had told her and yet all that had been swept aside.  Jill could see a sparkle in his eyes and a clarity and innocence in his face.  To her he was all that she wanted, even though he was nearly ten, that didn’t really matter to her.  As she surveyed him he looked no bigger than a small five year old physically, and now the way he was dressed he was every inch an adoring toddler.  She remembered when taking Bethany to play groups some mothers of little toddler boys remarking on the fact that well behaved little boys were the sweetest, loving and most angelic creatures on the planet.  Of course Jill would scoff to herself because her daughter was the sweetest thing on the planet and she could be.  Now she was seeing it before her eyes.  This little boy; and he was little, was one of those sweet angelic little baby boys. Even though he had only been in house for just over a day he was simply adorable and she loved every inch of him.

Jill lifted his pyjama top and caressed his tummy.  Madison squirmed and wriggled under her touch his eyes fixed on her soaking up her image.  Then quite out of the blue he thrust his arms up to her.

“Wuv you Mummy,” he chortled.  Jill’s heart leapt.  She was taken by his sudden and sincere admission.  She responded immediately by lifting him into her arms again and cuddling him warmly.

“Mummy loves you darling,” she whispered softly. “Mummy loves her baby boy with all her heart,” she continued and she meant every syllable.

Madison was so happy.  It was the first time in a long, long time that anyone he said that to him.  He lifted his head off her shoulder, looked her square in the eye then pressed his dummy into her cheek.  Jill was overcome.

“Oh darling, are giving Mummy a special bubby kiss?” she asked quietly.  He nodded and did it again. She responded and laid him back on the changing table.   â€œCome on my sweet, sweet baby Mummy needs to change your nappy now, okay,” she asked.  He and nodded smiled at her.

Using careful and unhurried movements she set about changing him.  His nappy was saturated.  He certainly needed thicker night nappies, she mused, or maybe I could change him more frequently the night, she pondered.  She would think about that. Certainly once she introduced night feedings then a nappy change would be part of the process.
After the wet cloth was removed she set about cleaning his bottom.  He winced slightly but her reassuring smile soothed him.  Finally he was creamed, powdered and repined into a warm dry nappy.  She decided to replace his pilchers and did so with a pair of clear vinyl which showed every fold of his white nappy and the yellow headed nappy pins.  His stomach growled.  She widened her eyes.

“I think my baby needs something in his tummy,” she said lovingly as she caressed his stomach.  “How about a nice warm bottle eh?”  He nodded and smiled.  He loved his bottle especially the warm ‘milk’ she used.  Picking him up, she carried him out to the lounge.  While he was perched on her hip she opened the drapes to reveal the day outside.

Madison could see the trees moving and the white clouds floating across the sky.  Shafts of sunlight lit up the garden.  It actually looked pleasant outside.  Jill noted the brisk wind blowing the dead leaves around the garden.

“Great a nice day,” she said to herself.  “A good drying day,” she continued as she reflected on the basket full of nappies and baby clothes waiting for her in the laundry.  Still with Madison on her hip she crossed to the log burner.  She put Madison on his feet while she attended to the fire.  Madison clung to her nightie as she stirred it into life.  He could feel some warmth radiating onto his legs.  Jill pressed him closer so she could fix the fire up and not put him in danger.  When she was satisfied and the glowing embers had stirred to life she picked him up and headed for the kitchen.  Madison didn’t mind being carried like a baby.  As far as she was concerned he was a baby so he might as well enjoy the attention, besides he liked being with her.

Jill retrieved a full bottle from the fridge, shook it and placed it in the microwave to heat.  While the bottle heated she crossed the kitchen and Madison watched her as she pulled open the kitchen drapes.  Madison looked out the window and could see a large shed in one corner of the section and next to it garage both buildings skirted by trees.  Like the garden he saw out of the lounge window it was well cared for and dotted with shrubs and tall trees.  He watched the branches waving around in the breeze.  He was mesmerised by the waving canopies and the myriad of scuttling leaves skirting around the section.  The microwave ‘dinged’ and Jill crossed the kitchen to retrieve the bottle.  Madison clung to her as she shook the bottle and offered it to him.  Madison looked at her and took the bottle.  He was appeasing his craving for food so couldn’t resist the offer. Jill took his pacifier out and he put the teat in his mouth and started suc-king – boy it was good. 

Jill was pleased he had taken it from her and wanted to drink immediately.  He clearly wanted the bottle.  She carried him into the lounge and seated herself on the large comfortable couch swinging Madison onto her lap.  Madison kept the bottle in his mouth.  He wanted and liked it. The warm fluid was drifting into his tummy appeasing the gurgles within.

Jill made him comfortable on her lap and allowed him the lie back until he was cradled in her arms.  She smiled at him as she took control of the bottle.  Madison continued to guzzle on the contents.  He nestled in closer and wriggled his bottom inside his nappy.  Another troubling gurgle was making itself known.  His bowel was full demanding attention and emptying.  Madison tried to ignore it and tighten his sphincter muscles to prevent any mishap. He responded to Jill’s smiles with smiles of his own.  This only caused milk to seep out of the corner of his mouth and down him chin.  Several times Jill carefully mopped up the seepage with his bib.  Madison wriggled his bottom again.  A small amount of wind escaped into his nappy.  The pressure in his bowel was building. Now he was in a quandary.  What was he going to do?  He could remove the bottle and ask his new Mummy to take him to the toilet or even put him on a potty.  Perhaps she might take pity on him and accede to his request.  He would be depending on her not wanting to clean up a poopy bottom.  But what about his bottle, he wanted it and certainly did not want to give up his milk.  Then, again he could starting crying and plead for assistance.  His upset condition might encourage her to take pity on him and help him.  Again he would have to give up his bottle and the milk would get cold while she attended to him.  The idea of drinking lukewarm milk didn’t appeal to him. Of course he could let nature take its course, continue to savour the milk, act as though nothing was happening and quietly fill his nappy.  He continued to let the soothing milk trickle down his throat and seep into his tummy suppressing the gurgles and the hunger pangs.

Jill slipped his bottle into her other hand so she could use the TV remote to flick the device into life.  She wanted to track the news to see if there was any mention of Madison’s ‘disappearance’.  Her attention was drawn into the newscast and was not focused in Madison’s situation.

Madison had decided.  His need for nourishment and craving for food outweighed his desperate need to make himself comfortable.  He relaxed and focussed on savouring each drop of milk.  His bowel cramped and the pressure was building.  As he relaxed so did his bowel.  He could feel the poop push its way into his nappy.  It stopped momentarily so he pushed slightly watching her face for any reaction. The poop resumed its slow and gradual evacuation.  He shifted and Jill looked at him to check that he was okay.  She resumed holding the bottle in her original hand. She studied his face.  His face twitched.  She felt his bottom shift and knew instantly what was happening – he was pooping his nappy. She knew the signs all too well.  Bethany had done it often enough except she tended to telegraph her activity by interrupting her nursing and reddening her face as she pushed to offending discharge into her nappy.  Madison was trying to be more discrete, not wanting to draw attention to his action.

He stared at her and gazed intently into her face.  He was acutely aware of what was happening in his nappy.  He could feel the soft poop fill a void between his bottom and his nappy then push its way up behind his little nut-sack, and ooze between the cleft in his bottom.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” she asked quietly.  Madison nodded not wanting to interrupt the flow of milk. “Have got some windies in your tummy?” she asked.  He shook his head in denial.  Jill then detected a dull aroma wafting from his pants. She knew immediately what he had done but kept quiet.  The last thing she wanted to do was upset him, embarrass him or even humiliate him.  She knew all too well that he was giving into his body’s natural urge and at the same time undo years of conditioning – ‘thou shalt not mess ones pants’. Equally he was blatantly undoing years of training and control.  She was secretly pleased he was giving into this babyish behaviour.   

Madison raised his outside hand reached up and touched her lips.  As he stretched he grunted at the same time causing his nappy to fill completely and his bladder started to empty in sympathy. Jill smiled and kissed his fingers then made a snatch them with her lips trying to catch them.  Madison pulled them away and giggled around the teat of the bottle.  At the same time he could feel the poop spread over his bottom.  It was feeling he thought he would find repugnant and was surprised at how pleasant it felt.  He felt really babyish now.  He hoped that she wouldn’t be angry with him, punish him then leave him in the full garment.  He wriggled his bottom slightly and felt the soft mush move and smear over his skin.  He knew he was undoing his control but the taste of the milk and its soothing feel in his tummy was more important as far as he was concerned.  After all, he reasoned, he had committed himself to being her baby yesterday so he might as well do as baby’s do – poo his nappy. 
After all to quote her comment the day before when he had the sudden accident – ‘it’s only a nappy it’ll wash.’  He sighed as the last of the soft ooze slipped out of his bottom.  His bowel was empty now it was time to really focus on emptying his bottle.  He suc-kled in earnest.

Jill returned to the television mindful that her baby had just filled his pants.  She smiled inwardly – his first real poopy nappy, she mused, but it won’t be his last.  There was nothing on the newsreel about him which was pleasing.  There would be no police out searching and disturbing their bliss at this early stage.  She was drawn from the screen when Madison started to s_ck air.  He had finished his bottle.

“Good boy,” she cooed as she extracted the teat from his milky mouth and set it on the couch beside her. “What a good baby,” she crooned wiped the excess milk from his lips and chin.  Madison lay in her arms looking at her face.  His tummy was nearly full but he had a bloated feeling.  He shifted slightly causing the contents of his nappy to move.  Jill brushed a wisp of hair from his brow then slipped her hands under his armpits and carefully raised him until he was lying upright again her chest his head resting on her shoulder.  She placed one hand under his padded bottom squashing the contents over his bottom while the other starting patting and rubbing his back.  Madison knew what she was doing – she was ‘burping’ him.  He started to feel uncomfortable and squirmed under her hold. “Come on darling let’s get those windies out of that little tummy,” she said quietly.  He squirmed then suddenly released a series of loud belches.  He blushed at his infantile behaviour. “Aww good boy that’s better little one. And some more sweetie.  There must be more in there,” she continued as she patted and rubbed his back and at the same time patting his padded bottom.  He lifted his head to look at her in doing so he release another couple of knots of wind at the same time some sour milk spurted into his mouth and out of his mouth before he could stop it.  He felt it dribble down his chin. “Whoops Maddie just a wee spill little one,” she said as she used his bib to wipe up the mess. 
Jill could smell the aroma wafting from his pants.

“Has my baby got poopy nappies?” she cooed.  He stared at her not wanting to admit it. “I think he has,” she smiled at him. “Yes I do,” she chuckled tickling his ribs causing him to squirm and giggle under her assault. “Mummy have a look eh,’ she suggested and she laid him across her lap.  Jill lifted his pyjama top and opened his pilcher. “Hold still sweetheart so Mummy can check her little boy’s nappy,” she said affectionately.  Madison lay motionless as she fiddled with his pilcher.  Jill lifted his leg aside and peered into his nappy.  She could see his bottom and nappy were smeared with a yellowy brown ooze.  The smell was strong but not offensive.  She knew it wouldn’t be because his diet, over the previous day, had consisted mainly of baby formula so the smell would not be as overpowering. “My you have been a busy baby, haven’t you?” she chuckled looking at him with wide eyes wonder. “Yes you have. Yes you have,” she grinned tickling his leg causing him to wriggle, squirm and giggle under her advance.  For Jill this was a deliberate ploy so he would feel the state of his nappy and get use to the sensations.  Eventually he would be encouraged to the point where filling his nappy would be natural and being in them for a period of time would be second nature because she wouldn’t always be able to change him immediately under some circ-umstances.  She was pleased with his reaction. “Come on bubby you lie on the couch while Mummy finds some clean pants for her baby,” she grinned as she carefully laid him on the couch, picked up the empty bottle and disappeared out of the room.

Madison lay on the couch suc-king his dummy and watched the television.  He wasn’t really focused on it.  He was more focused on the sensation of his first proper poopy nappy. A nappy he had deliberately filled. He felt calm, his Mummy was not angry in fact she was pleased with him and had expected it after all he really wanted to please her.

Jill returned to the lounge armed with the items she needed.  As she approached the couch she marvelled at the sight of her little boy lying innocently on the couch moving his legs at ease with his messy condition.  As far as she was concerned a major hurdle had been crossed on his path to babyhood and he had taken it in his stride.  The next hurdle would be proper breastfeeding once her milk came in.  He had accepted her breast but that was only dry suc-king almost the same as suc-king on a pacifier. The real thing would really test his resolve and whether he was actually going to completely enter long term babyhood.