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Author Topic: Lost Souls  (Read 144044 times)

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nappy1

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Lost Souls
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2011, 01:36:36 AM »
Part 15

Madison lay quietly on the table suc-king his dummy and cuddling his teddy. Jill fussed around him preparing his night nappy and pilchers.  Leaning over him she ‘beeped’ the shield of his dummy and smiled adoringly at him.

“My, what a stinky bubby?” she grinned and tickled him in the ribs.  Madison squirmed and giggled. He was ticklish.

Jill noted the sparkle in the small boy’s eyes.  He lay passively on the changing table his teddy cuddled in his arms and his fingers pawing at the velvety soft fur. He watched Jill as she folded back his nightie exposing his soft tummy and cute little belly button.  He sighed and suc-ked contentedly on his dummy.  He could feel the sticky messy inside his nappy but was unperturbed by its feel.  His gaze shifted to the nursery, his nursery, as Jill removed his nappy pins.  He felt his nappy loosen. 

Madison hadn’t really taken any notice of the dĂ©cor in the room.  He noted it was painted in a soft tranquil cream colour, almost nondescript in fact.  It showed no bias to either sex, neutral in its toning.  The crib, now his, was white and for the first time he noticed the yellow stencilled rabbit on the foot board.  The drapes were pale yellow as well.  It was almost as if Jill had not wanted to lean towards any gender in her selection of the dĂ©cor.  It was as if she was preparing the room for either a boy or girl.  Even the double cupboards which contained all the clothes were white.  Madison knew that within those cavities was a range of girl’s clothing yet he hoped that maybe there would be something suitable for a boy, even a small boy like him.  As he contemplated his surroundings he could feel his ‘mother’ open his nappy and start the grisly process of cleaning his bottom.

“My, my little one you are a messy baby,” she cooed to him which brought him out of his trance.  He looked at her without registering any response to her comment. Jill caught his eye and smiled affectionately at him. “Never mind bubby, Mummy will soon have you clean and sweet smelling again,” she continued as she wiped his bottom with the cleaner parts of the nappy before rolling it up and discarding it into the nappy pail.  Madison tentatively shifted his bottom against the cool baby wipe when Jill began wiping him clean.  Jill noted this reaction but said nothing.  Finally a clean double night nappy was placed under his bottom, he was coated generously in baby oil and baby powder before the thick stack was pinned snugly on.  Instantly Madison noted the thickness of the nappy as his legs were kept splayed apart from the thick padding of cloth between his legs.  Jill fastened his pilchers in place before lifting the warm limp child into her arms.  Madison immediately snuggled into her his teddy wedged between them. 

“Come on bubby,” she whispered as she carried him towards the padded chair near the crib. “How about some snuggles with Mummy before byes-byes time eh?”  Madison didn’t answer but snuggled into her more as his measured response.  Jill wasn’t expecting a reply she knew in her own mind that he would like that.

She eased herself into the soft padding of the chair and manoeuvred him until he was cradled in her arms.  Madison watched spell bound as she undid the buttons to her shirt and removed her luscious breast from the confines for her bra.  He swallowed half in expectation and half in anticipation.  This shouldn’t be happening he echoed in his mind but what could he do to stop it; that’s if he wanted to stop it.

Jill gently removed his dummy dragging a trail of saliva from his mouth and let the infantile device hang from its chain.  She wiped his mouth before turning him towards her breast dangling before his face like an over ripe melon ready for the plucking. She gently placed her free hand behind his head guiding him towards the luscious morsel.  Madison’s eyes focused on the large brown nipple like it was an irresistible beacon against a sea of creamy white.

“Come on little one open up for Mummy,” she whispered alluringly.  Madison couldn’t resist.  He automatically opened his mouth on request and felt the soft, warm nipple pushed against his tongue.  He let slid along before closing his mouth and starting suc-king it.  The nipple expanded and crept along his tongue filling his mouth.

Jill was thrilled with the way he latched on. It was instinctive in action and natural in execution, almost as if it was second nature to him.  She adjusted his body until he was comfortable then removed her hand from behind his head and slipped it in between his parted legs and started gently patting his thickly padded bottom.

Jill let her ‘baby’ nurse on both breasts for a while.  She noticed that he was beginning to doze for long periods and slow his suc-king only to rouse himself and engage in a flurry of suc-kling before diminishing again. She also noted that he swallowed a number of times but then dismissed it as baby reflex as a result of too much saliva in the mouth.

Madison quickly settled into a nursing rhythm.  Even though he was initially hesitant this quickly subsided.  He actually loved the feeling on the soft nipple in his mouth.  It had a strangely calming effect on him.  What he also noted to was the number of times he had to swallow because of an apparent build up of excess fluid.  The fluid had a creamy sweet taste unlike anything he had had before.  The more it happened that more he realised that it was a mixture of his saliva and some breast milk he was drinking.  He ignored the possibility choosing instead to savour the feeling of her nipple inside his mouth.  Gradually he allowed himself to relax so much that sleep finally slipped in to take him over.

Finally Jill, with exquisite care removed her nipple from his mouth, wiped it with his bib and replaced his dummy, then with practised ease she laid the sleeping infant in his crib and tucked him in for the night.

As she quietly left his room taking the smelly nappy pail with her she stopped in the lounge to wipe her breasts. It was then she noticed the telltale signs and smell of breast milk. She was exulted.  She was lactating that was abundantly clear but she was uncertain as to how much he had received but she knew she would soon find out.


nappy1

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Lost Souls
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2011, 01:27:36 AM »
Part 16

Madison lay huddled in his pee soaked bed listening to the sounds of the house but more importantly listening for the ominous sounds of his father.  It was quiet at the moment.  His very dark room was oppressive.  The cold sheets on his bed had awoken him.  He had no idea what time it was. CRASH! What was that?  His body jerked with the sudden noise and his senses heighten in anxiety and anticipation.  ‘The door,’ he thought, ‘did he lock it?’  He had to out of necessity.  It was his protection against his unpredictable father.  He had left it unlocked one night much to his cost.  The memory of that beating was still vivid in the small boy’s mind many months after the event. CRASH!  There it was again.

"fuc-kin’ little shit!” he heard his father slur. “Leavin’ his fuc-kin’ trash around for a man to fall over,” he cursed in his drunken manner. “Where are you you little bashtard?” he ranted crashing down the hall and thumping on the boy’s door.  Madison whimpered.  He hoped the lock would hold.  “Come here you fuc-kin’ piesha filth.  I’ll teach ya to kill ya mother. LET ME IN!!” he shouted hammering on the door and rattling the handle.  Suddenly there was a regular thump against the door.  His father was trying unsuccessfully to break it down. Madison let out a frightened whimper again and wet himself and his bed again in fright.  The hammering increased and Madison started to cry his wails getting louder as he back away from the door and jammed his frightened wet body against the wall. 

“NNNNOOOOO!!” he wailed. “NNNNNOOOO
..”

The piercing cry jolted Jill awake.

“Jesus Christ Madison
” she muttered as she dashed swiftly into his nursery.  In the subdued lit of the night light she could make out the crumbled form of her baby huddled on the mattress wailing and crying pitifully. “Mummy’s coming baby,” she said anxiously as she crossed the floor to lower the side of the crib.

Immediately Madison sat bolt upright and shrieked at the sound of her voice.  Jill lifted the quivering body into her arms.
A different voice pierced his subconscious.  It wasn’t his father’s. It was a voice he knew but it wasn’t his mother’s.  It was a voice he rapidly equated with safety and protection.

“Muuummmmeeee
” he wailed and sat up like a lever on a catapult.  At that moment a sure pair of hands grabbed him and cuddled him closely.

“Ssshhh
ssshhhh
.” Jill soothed the frightened boy. “Mummy’s here bubby. Mummy’s got you.  You’re safe now,” she continued to soothe him, her voice soft and smooth.

Madison rubbed his face into her shoulder.  He recognised her straight away.  Her smell was familiar to him as was her embrace and soft soothing voice.  He continued to cry but not as dramatically as earlier.

“Mummy
” he sobbed his voice choked with tears and its tone racked with desolation and despair.

“It’s alright precious Mummy’s got you.  You’re safe now,” she reassured him quietly.

“Make it stop Mummy,” he wailed. “Make the man stop Mummy
” he cried.

“The man’s gone darling. It’s only Mummy here now. He’s gone darling,” she said as she slowly paced the floor of the nursery patting his thickly padded bottom, rubbing his back and jiggling him to pacify him. Finally Madison started to calm down. Jill sensed this.  “Alright sweetheart Mummy change your nappy,” she suggested and carried Madison towards his crib.  On the way she grabbed a nappy change from the pile beside the changing table, the baby powder and wipes and dumped them into the crib.  She gently laid Madison on the soft mattress.  Madison started to whimper again and rub his eyes.

“Da man gone Mummy?” he asked looking around his crib.

“Yes darling he’s gone,” Jill cooed. It was clear to her that Madison had had another nightmare.  The night terrors were gripping him.  She needed to delve deeper to understand what was at the root of his frightened state.  “What man was it darling?” she asked softly caressing his head.  Madison’s eyes widened in terror and they darted around searching the room, searching his crib.

“He
he here
” he breathed his face and voice betraying his frightened plight.

“No darling. Who is he?”

“Da
Daddy
” whimpered Madison and a fresh paroxysm of tears issued forth.

“Are you scared of Daddy?” she probed softly.

“Yesss
.” he stammered.

“Why darling? What did he do?”

“He
he
” Madison sobbed trying to get the words out his chest heaving.

“It’s alright precious take your time and tell Mummy.”

“He beat me
” he wailed.  Jill gasped in shock.

“Why darling? Were you naughty?”

“Yes
!” the miserable shrieked. “Yes!” 

“What did you do?”

“I
I wet my bed and wet my pants and
and I
I
k
killed my Mummy
” he howled. “I
I killed her she died. I killed her!” Jill was perplexed. How could he have killed his mother?  Something was not right.

“What do you mean darling? Tell Mummy,” she coaxed quietly still caressing his head.  Madison was becoming hysterical.  She reached in and picked up the distraught boy and cuddled him close to her breasts.  She sat in her padded chair and cuddled him on her lap. He continued to sob unable to say anything.  Jill was determined more than ever to get to the bottom of this story. Maybe it will provide a glimmer of light into his background and perhaps shed a ray of hope on what she could do to salvage his soul.  “Shhh darling it’s alright,” she soothed. “Tell Mummy when you are ready.”  She had already decided to delay his nappy change, this was vastly more important.  Besides he would never settle while he was in this distraught condition.

It took a few minutes but she could feel his agitation begin to subside.
“He
he said I killed Mummy by giving her a sore head and making her look after me,” he finally blurted out.

Jill was dumbfounded. “What do you mean darling?” she asked.  This had to be explored.

“He
 he said I caused her to get a sore head be
because I
I
I made her worry,” he sobbed. “He
he called me a ‘pissy baby’ and a ‘peehead’ because I wet and she had to clean me up bu
but  I couldn’t help it. I
I
was scared
.” He broke down again.

‘My God,’ she thought, ‘How cruel!’  The boy’s father had poisoned his mind and taunted him inflicting massive psychological abuse on the boy by blaming him for his own mother’s demise.  Jill was outraged.  She gathered her composure and marshalled her response carefully.

“Maddie baby look at me,” she asked very soothingly.  Madison looked at her with tear swollen eyes.  His face was blotchy from crying.  His nose was running and his cheeks stained with tears. “My poor, poor baby,” she cooed kissing him affectionately on his forehead several times. “You didn’t hurt your Mummy darling,” she explained quietly.

“Yes! Yes! I did!” he screeched. “Yes I did!  After she died he beat me and hurt me. He wouldn’t give me much to eat.  He said I did
”

“No sweetheart listen to me little one. Listen to me little one. Listen to me,” she repeated over and over again.  Madison stopped looked at her through tear laden eyes. “You didn’t hurt your Mummy.  Your Daddy was wrong, very wrong.  He was cruel to blame you. It wasn’t your fault you wet yourself.  That happens when little children are frightened,” Jill explained carefully. “Your Mummy did not get a sore head because she worried about you and had to clean you up.  All Mummies worry about their babies and help them.  I worried about my little girl and now I’m very worried about my baby boy but I haven’t got a sore head.  That’s what Mummies do sweetheart.  That’s what we all do,” she reiterated.

Madison shook his head. “That’s what Daddy said,” he insisted. “That’s
”  Jill put a finger over his lips to silence him.

“No Madison that is not right.  Your Daddy was wrong and he knows that.  Your Mummy died because she was sick. From you have said I think she got cancer which took her away. It was nothing you did.  Absolutely nothing.  You were a sweet loving boy for your mother. You need to understand that baby,” Jill emphasised. “Your father was being horrible to you.  He was passing his guilt onto you because he couldn’t help your Mummy so he blamed you, he blamed the doctors and he blamed the hospital, didn’t he?”

Madison remembered how his father had cursed the doctors and hospital for not doing enough then he turned his angry on the defenceless boy.  She was right.

“Didn’t he? Do you remember daring? He frightened you didn’t he?”

“Yes
” his voiced wavered. “He did. I was scared,” he wailed. “He started drinking lots and there wasn’t much to eat.  When he was drunk he would hurt me.  He was always drunk. I think he lost his job as well because he was drunk. I would hide in my bedroom and lock the door.  I was too scared to go home after school. He would try to get me. The only food I had was what was at school and sometimes stale bread which he got.  That was all I was allowed to eat.”  Madison was now sobbing openly again.

Jill was seething when she heard what the poor little mite had to live with.  She clenched her hand grabbing the baby blanket squeezing it until there was no life in it. ‘The cruel bastard’ she said to herself, ‘The cruel bastard.’ She gathered her composure. “He did get you, didn’t he?” she asked. He nodded. “Of course you were scared. Of course you were.  Any little boy would be,” she soothed repeatedly. Jill decided to change tact now she knew part of the story but there had to be more.  She felt Madison shiver.

“Oh baby you’re cold,” she stated and she rose and crossed to the crib and retrieved his warm fleecy baby blanket and wrapped it around his small frail body then sat back in the chair. Madison felt the warmth from the blanket and cuddled in closer his thumb finding its way into his mouth.  He started suc-king it frantically.  Madison relished the feeling of his thumb.  He knew that it was comforting. His anxiety and agitation had reached a new high. Jill ignored his infantile reflex.  Although she preferred he use his dummy at this juncture it didn’t matter as long as he was able to calm down it didn’t matter how it was achieved. When she thought he was ready she spoke to him quietly.

“What was your Mummy like baby? Tell me all about her.”


nappy1

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Lost Souls
« Reply #16 on: June 02, 2011, 03:57:11 PM »
Part 17

He slipped his thumb out and gazed at her. Why did she want to know about his Mummy? Nobody had ever been interested in his Mummy and at this moment he really, really missed her more than anything else on this planet.

“My Mummy?”

“Yes darling tell me about your Mummy.”

“I miss my Mummy,” he blubbered and the floodgates opened again.

“I know you do darling.  All little boys miss their Mummies.”

“I
I
loved my Mummy
” he sobbed.

“Of course you do darling all babies love their Mummies,” she soothed caressing his back. “Tell me about her.  What was she like?”

“Sh
she was nice and g
gentle.  Sh
she cuddled me and cared for me
” he sniffled.

“Of course darling that’s what Mummies do for their babies.  Keep going
darling, what did she do?”

“When Daddy was away she
she put me in nappies to stop my bed from getting wet and
and she let me suc-k my thumb,” he said softly.

“Well that makes sense darling.  Your Mummy was being very helpful to her little boy because loved him and wanted him to feel better,” Jill explained. “But why did she do it only when your Daddy was away?”  Jill asked a little puzzled.

Madison was silent.  Jill could sense he was struggling with the words and trying to maintain his composure which taking its toll. “Be
because he...he smacked me if I suc-ked my thumb and wouldn’t let Mummy put me in nappies at night because he said pissy babies need to be taught a lesson for wetting themselves
” he paused.  Jill was surprised at how easily all this was tumbling out.  It was almost as if he had been waiting to unload and his cup was now running over.  “He
he
tried to smack me but Mummy stopped him.  He wouldn’t hit me when she was there.  Mummy tried to make things better.  She changed my bed and helped me get cleaned up.  But Daddy was angry.  I know he was I could see it.”

“I bet you could darling.  I bet you could,” she murmured. “You are a very brave baby for tell me this and your Mummy was a wonderful Mummy,” she emphasised.  “Did your Daddy know what she did to you when he was away?” she asked.

Madison shook his head. “No
” he whispered. “Mummy and I kept it a secret.”

“Wow that was brave,” Jill said brightly which brought a smile from the boy.  “Did your Daddy go away often?” she asked.

“Yes about every six weeks,” he replied.

“It must have been awful when he wasn’t away,” she stated.

“Yes
”

“Madison darling did you like your Mummy putting you in nappies?” she asked.  Jill had to determined how compliant he was or whether he was forced because this was going to set her course for him from that moment on.

Madison looked at her and swallowed.  He wanted to suc-k his thumb at that moment.  He didn’t want to betray his true feelings for fear she would ridicule him.  Jill could see he was wrestling with the question but she needed to know.

“Did you darling? Don’t be embarrassed sweetie I won’t laugh or say anything mean I promise,” she repeated with sincerity and empathy in her voice.

He swallowed again. “Yes
” he whispered then he paused to allow the gravity of his answer soak in. “At first I was scared
then
” he paused again.

“Go on darling, you can tell me.”

“Then I liked it be
because my bed was dry and
” he trailed off.

“And what?”

“I
I felt Mummy was
”

“Helping for you feel better
” she cut in.

“Yessss
” he whispered then buried his face in her breast out of embarrassment.

“That shows you darling that your Mummy loved you because he knew you couldn’t help it so she was helping you to make it all better. She was being a good Mummy and being very sensible, wasn’t she?” Jill explained.

Madison looked at her.  “Yes,” he whispered again. “And she even let me use a dummy
” he trailed off again and hid his face embarrassed by his admission.

“That’s wonderful darling you really had a wonderful Mummy,” Jill said. ‘Now for the next step,’ she mused. “Did you like your Mummy treating you like a baby?” she probed.

“Yes,” he replied his face still hidden.

“Can you tell me why?”

“I don’t knowww
.” Jill could detect a waver in his voice.

“Do you think it might be because she loved you and cared for you and didn’t want to see her little boy suffer at the hands of his horrible Daddy?”

He shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“I think so,” confirmed Jill.  “I really think so.”  She paused many thoughts pulsed through her mind. “Madison darling look at me,” she asked.  He lifted his head.  Jill could see his eyes scanning her face.  He was frightened.  It showed on his face and especially in his eyes. “Madison, I will never hurt you, ever,” she affirmed. “Your father will never hurt you again, ever. I promise,” she said softly her own voice starting crack. “No baby of mine will ever be hurt and abused the way you have been darling, ever,” she continued tears slipping down her cheek.  His plight had touched her very soul.  To hear him pour his heart out drove through to her inner core.  “You
you
” she was faltering but he had to hear it.  She swallowed.  As she did so she could see tears dribble down his cheeks again. “You are my baby now.  You are my baby forever darling.  I will never let you go, never,” she gulped wiping her eyes on the corner of the blanket. “I will protect you, love you and take such great care of you,” she emphasized.  “Do you understand precious?”

He nodded.

“You are a beautiful sweet baby boy and I love you dearly,” she cried with that she picked him up and cuddled him close to her his face against hers their tears mingling. “I will make sure you are warm. I’ll make sure you have plenty to eat. I’ll make sure you are safe and I’ll even make sure you are clean,” she whispered to him her hand resting on his padded bottom. “All I want Madison to do is some simple things
” she paused.

Madison lifted his head.  Jill could feel his warm breath on her cheek and the warmth radiate from his face.

“What
” he asked tentatively.

Jill kissed the side of his face tasting the salty tears. “All I want my sweet boy to do is call me ‘Mummy’ and be my sweet, sweet adorable baby boy. Can you do that precious?”

“Yes Mummy.”  And he pressed his face against hers and she hugged him tight. Jill and Madison savoured the moment.“I love you Mummy,” he whispered so angelically and so sincerely that Jill thought her heart was going to explode.  Yet strangely enough she knew he meant it.

Madison had never felt so happy as he did at that moment.  He felt as though a gigantic oppressive weight had been lifted from his heart.  At this moment he was no longer stabbed by repressed guilt.  He had no reason to be scared or frightened.  Madison also knew in his child-like mind that these feeling would return but now that he had faced them, spoke about them they seemed to have diminished slightly. Equally Jill knew that although he had ‘broken’ and poured his heart out there was still a long way to go.  There would be more dreams, more misery and more melancholy.  She knew it would take years to partially repair the assault on his esteem, allay his fears and quell his guilt.  The hurt would never go.  It would only lessen over time.  This was what she had committed herself too.  She knew too that helping him would help give her a chance to grieve properly for her beloved Bethany and Robert.  He would be therapy for her too.

nappy1

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Lost Souls
« Reply #17 on: June 14, 2011, 07:38:43 AM »
I thought I would give you a bonus double enjoy.

Part 18

Madison laid his head on her shoulder savouring her closeness.  Carefully Jill slipped her hand under the blanket and between his legs.  Madison parted them allowing her access.

“What a good baby,” she cooed acknowledging his submissive behaviour. He felt her fingers worm their way into his nappy.  Madison spread his legs wider and lifted his bottom away from her to make it easier. “Good baby,” she praised.  Her fingers probed his nappy.  He was very wet.  “What a wet baby,” she crooned. “Come on precious let Mummy change your nappy then Mummy’s got something special for her baby.” 
Madison didn’t answer.  He sighed and snuggled in more.

Carefully Jill rose and carried him over to his crib.  She laid the sweet boy on the soft mattress again.  Madison looked at her.  Jill could see a renewed sparkle in his eyes. He kicked his legs and smiled at her.

“My new Mummy,” he cooed.

Jill smiled lovingly at him. “Yes darling I’m your new Mummy,” she affirmed.  She watched him slip his thumb in his mouth.  Looking around the crib she located his dummy. “Here darling this is better for my baby.”  He let her remove his thumb and replace it with the white dummy.  He suc-ked it happily.  Jill gently folded his nightie up his chest and back.  She rubbed his soft tummy.  He smiled at her and squirmed slightly.  Her touch was soft and made him ticklish.  The sensation sent tingles of pleasure through his body.

As Jill undid his pilchers Madison started to gurgle at her.  She looked him.  His face was a picture of abject happiness at the moment.  He seemed to be in a state of bliss.  Then he started to coo and gurgle around his dummy.  He shuffled his legs.  He was playing to her.
“Is my baby trying to tell Mummy a big story?” she cooed to him. “Are you darling? You tell Mummy all about it,” she encouraged. As she undid the nappy pins he continued the gurgle and babble like any happy baby. Jill touched his nappy. “My sweetheart what a wet baby,” she repeated.  With that she gathered his ankles and lifted his bottom clear of the wet nappy that same way you would do with a young baby.  For all intents and purposes he was a young baby at the moment.  She pulled the bundle of wet cloth away and dumped it on the changing table.  While his bottom was raised she wiped it clean with some wipes before slipping the dry nappy in place.  She gently placed his soft bottom on the warm mound of fleecy cloth and continued to wipe around the rest of his nappy area. 

Madison soaked up all her ministrations.  Every stroke with the wipe sent quivers through his being.  He continued to gurgle and coo. He didn’t care at that moment what he sounded like.  He loved what she was doing to him and he wanted to acknowledge it.  He knew he wasn’t a baby but that was what he felt like.  In fact he far as he was concerned he was a baby. He had left his previous psyche behind.  From now on the nearly ten year old Madison had gone.  He was not going to return. Never! In its place was the sweet angelic baby Madison.

Jill started to brattle to him just like any mother of a sweet adorable baby would do.  She listened to his coos and gurgles and responded in a way only mother can.  She rubbed baby oil all around his bottom and nappy area then dusted it with a generous coating of sweet smelling baby powder.  She pulled the bulky nappy up between his legs spreading them apart.  Madison shuffled his legs again acknowledging the imminent safety of his nappy. He swooned with delight as the soft cloth engulfed him. He was safe and protected.  His Mummy ensured that it had happened.

Indeed as far as Madison was concerned his nappies were an essential part of him.  They defined him as the baby he wanted to be. Jill pinned them snugly closed and refitted the pilchers before pulling his nightie back in place.  She looked at him and gently caressed his tummy.  She reached in and lifted him to her. 

“Come to Mummy bubby,” she cooed as she rewrapped him in the warm fleecy baby blanket.  “Mummy’s got something that my baby wants.” 
Jill carried him to the chair and seated herself.  She cradled the small boy in her arms then adjusted the blanket so his face and chest were exposed.  She slipped his bib around his neck and velcroed it closed. 
Madison watched as she undid the front of her nightie exposing her large creamy white breast with its dark brown nipple winking at him.  Jill turned him to face her at the same time Madison opened his mouth and his dummy slipped out.  Immediately he latched onto her nipple as soon as it touched his lips.  He suc-ked hard several times and the nipple slipped further into his mouth filling it with its warm smooth texture.  At the same time warm creamy fluid filled his mouth causing him to swallow.  He suc-ked again and again and was rewarded with more of the intoxicating fluid.

Jill watched intently as his lips expanded around her nipple and took more of her breast.  Then she saw and felt his mouth work on her nipple.  His s_ck was strong.  It sent shivers through her body and down into her womanhood. She could feel her vagina moisten.  She loved breastfeeding.  As far as she was concerned it was one of the most orgasmic feelings in the world apart from sex itself.  She knew he was suc-kling her milk.  Her baby was home and she was now a complete mother again.  She knew now that her bond with him would strengthen with each breastfeed, with each cuddle and each nappy change. Motherhood was a vocation she was perfect for because she was a fantastic mother.  She now felt fulfilled.

Jill let her baby suc-kle for at least fifteen minutes before moving him to the other breast.  He mewled when she moved him which surprised her.
“I know darling you want some more,” she cooed. “Mummy’s got more sweet milk for her baby.”  She touched his lips again and he latched on immediately and started extracting the nourishing baby milk. Jill stroked his temple. “Good baby.  That’s it.  You drink Mummy’s milk.  It’s all yours precious,” she whispered in a low soothing voice which penetrated Madison’s subconscious and skirted around his conscious sensibility.  He was in baby bliss.

Slowly, ever so slowly Madison felt his eyes grow heavy. He tried to keep them open but he was too relaxed, too tired to fight it.  Jill watched him doze then eventually sleep as his suc-king slowed and stopped.

She carefully extracting the wet nipple and wiped his milky lips before slipping his dummy in and carrying him over to his crib.  She wanted to take him to bed with her but fought the urge. ‘No,’ she told herself, ‘not now.  Later, if he wakes again I’ll take him into my bed and let him nurse. Besides,’ she affirmed to herself, ‘there will be plenty of other times to have him with me.’

She removed his bib and smiled to herself.  He was so tired he hadn’t even let her burp him. She bent over him and kissed him tenderly on the side of his head.

“Good night my precious baby boy. Sleep tight gorgeous. Mummy loves you.”  She carefully raised the side of the crib dropped the cold wet nappy in the nappy bucket, wiped her hands, turned the night light down further and headed towards her own bed.  She chuckled to herself as she noticed the circular wet patches on her nightie caused by the excess milk on her nipples.  ‘Another baby badge,’ she mused. Jill decided she wouldn’t worry about her nursing bra tonight but from tomorrow she would have to wear it.

Part 19

Jill’s eyes flicked open.  Daylight was beginning to sneak between the drapes and the window jamb gradually illuminating the room.  She coc-ked an ear listening for her baby. As she moved in the warm bed and her hand brushed the wet front of her nightie.  She lifted the covers and noticed two damp circles from her breasts.  They were leaking milk. She caressed them feeling the wetness against her skin and sighed contentedly.  She was now a proper mother. Her milk was ready her for her baby.  To Jill feeding her baby was the ultimate pleasure.  It ensured complete fulfilment as a mother.  When Bethany was alive she used to look forward to each feeding as the complete joining of her and her baby; the complete and ultimate bond of love.  Now she was going to do the same with Madison.  She was now going to build that final firm bond between him and her; the mother and baby bond and once that was established it was going to be maintained in the ensuing years.  Oh yes in her scheme of things he was going to be breastfed for years to come, after all that’s what proper mothers do.  To Jill the first important hurdle was to gradually erect that desire in him to want to feed.  She was going to let him set the pace and the frequency, in short let him demand feed.  She wanted her milk to be the firm basis for his diet just supplemented with small amounts of carefully selected solid food to maintain some bulk together with the occasional bottle of formula as a top-up.  She sighed again and smiled to herself as her plan was set.

Jill rose from her bed and donned her fleecy gown.  The house was a little cool but a couple of logs on the fire would soon remedy that.  As she exited her room she couldn’t resist stealing a peek at her baby.  She eased the nursery door open and allowed her eyes to grow accustomed to the dim interior.  She crept across the carpet.  Jill could see his small body lying prostrate in his crib.  His nightie had ridden up exposing his soft pink tummy, his pilchers and nappy on clear display.  His face was turned towards the opened bars.  She could hear the distinctive audible suc-king as he worked on his dummy.  His hair was tousled and flowing over the mattress and his forehead.  His long dark eyelashes were clearly etched against his soft pink cheeks.  His arms lay palms up near his head and one bootie clad foot was clear of his covers. 

Jill stood for many minutes absorbing the adorable image of her baby. This was no near ten year old boy now she was watching but an adorable toddler – cute, cuddly, adoring, loving and needy. She watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically.  He stirred and moved his head, suc-ked harder and his legs flopped open leaving his nappy and pilchers bunched between his legs. He was still in a deep, peaceful slumber. She hoped he was dreaming pleasant baby dreams.  By the look on his face he seemed untroubled and serene.  She was tempted to cover him but decided against it.  She wanted him to wake naturally.  The baby monitor was going so she would hear his plaintive cries.  As quietly as she entered she stole from the room pulling the door closed behind her.

Jill headed for the front door to retrieve the morning paper.  As she opened the front door she greeted by a cold breath of wind.  It whipped around her gown causing her to pull it closer.  Swiftly she floated down the steps and picked up the cold white news printed tabloid. At the same time she collected the single bottle of milk.  This was not for Madison but purely for her.  She stole a look at the morning sky before returning to the warm comfort of the house.  Heavy grey clouds scuttled across the sky.  The air temperature was cold.  There was a heaviness in the atmosphere which threatened the possibility of rain.  Jill was amazed at the sudden unpredictability of late autumn weather, bright and sunny one day then cold and threatening rain the next.  The front yard was a mass of leaves of varying autumn hues.  There was a job waiting to be done, when and if, the weather co-operated.  The leaves would make excellent mulch for her shrubs.  She would certainly need to wrap her baby up against the autumn chill when she ventured out later in the day.

Quickly Jill disappeared into the sanctuary of the warm house.  She entered the kitchen to place both items on the table before rekindling the fire. As she did so she coc-ked an ear to the monitor. Silence! It was essential to raise the room temperature ready for her baby especially when he started crawling and toddling around.  With the milk safely in the fridge she decided to scan the paper for any news on the search for Madison.  With her baby still asleep it was an opportune time. As her eyes slowly scanned the pages she felt a sense of unease.  It wasn’t unease prompted by any loss on her part, after all she had what she wanted – another baby, it was unease in response to Madison’s predicament.  There was nothing in the paper; no indication that anyone actually cared about his wellbeing.  There was no brief police report, no printed concern from an anxious and worried father about the whereabouts of his son. Nothing!  How could anyone not say something, anything? Not even an appeal through the printed media for any information concerning his whereabouts? Nothing!  Although she didn’t want to lose him or offer any information, it was the apparent neglect and uncaring feelings from others which troubled her.  He was not missed.  It certainly appeared to fit with Madison’s description of his father.  This troubled her because it almost as though he had been discarded like a redundant part.  Even the early morning television news didn’t shed any more light.

Madison’s eyes flickered open.  He stretched and rubbed his eyes.  He could feel his wet nappy cocooning his bottom. He wriggled and shifted on the mattress.  He allowed his eyes to grow accustomed to the dim light in the room.  The crib rails towered over making him feel small.  He curled his legs up and noticed the yellow booties on his feet at the same time his bladder erupted without warning and he felt the warm pee seep through the already wet cloth and trickle over his nappy area and down between his legs.  He couldn’t stem the flow.  His control had gone.  He should have been troubled by the thought but he wasn’t.  Madison realised that he didn’t care.  Any way his ‘Mummy’ while give him a clean dry nappy.  He rolled over onto his tummy and buried his face in the mattress before lying on his tummy his face looking out between the bars.  He suc-ked his pacifier contentedly.  He loved his pacifier, mind you he always had.
Madison tried to remember what happened during the night but only fleeting images appeared.  He remembered being lifted and cuddled.  He also remembered having his nappy changed.  Somewhere he remembered suc-king something soft and reassuring and swallowing some warm creamy liquid but he wasn’t sure.  He wriggled his bottom again.  He loved the way the wet cloth slid over his skin.  He lay there for quite a while allowing his eyes to take in the sights in the nursery, his nursery.  Where was his teddy? He lifted his head and surveyed his crib. There it was wedged in the corner.  He pulled his knees under his tummy and felt the wet nappy tighten over his bottom.  He buried his face in the mattress again before lifting himself to a sitting position the wet nappy squashed under his bottom.  He reached for the teddy and started to bury his fingers in the fur.  He wanted his ‘Mummy’ now.  His stomach growled.  He was hungry.

“Mama
Mama
” he called and waited to see if he could hear any footsteps.  He was about to call again when the door moved.  He snapped his head in its direction and saw his ‘Mummy’s’ face peer around the door.  There she was.  He watched her crossed towards him as she did so he scooted onto his feet and clutched the bars of the crib.  He felt his nappy droop and pull on the nappy pins.  He reached out to her. “Mama
Mama
” he squealed excitedly.  He grabbed her gown and tried to pull himself in and climb out to be with her but his feet kept slipping down the rails.  Madison could smell her immediately.  There was a mixture of aromas – stale soap powder, a slight fragrance of wood smoke and the scent of stale milk.  As quickly as she was with him she left to open the drapes.  He whimpered.  He wanted her.  Soon she was back wrapping him in her arms and kissing him tenderly.  He looked at her as she lifted his nightie and pulled his nappy back.  He knew he wasn’t poopy at least he didn’t think so.  Anyway, he thought, he would’ve felt it and perhaps smelt.  He passed off this action and let her continue ignoring her.  When she lowered the rail of kiddie bed he flopped into her and grabbed her gown.  At last he was in her arms being wrapped in a warm cocoon.

The nappy change was wonderful as far as he was concerned.  She was everything she had been over the previous three days – gentle, caring and loving.  He was mesmerised by her actions.  Finally after she had tied his bib he was picked up, smothered with kisses which he loved before giving her one of his own. 

Madison had always been a loving child.  He displayed his affection demonstratively especially to his mother who always responded, but his father was a different proposition.  When Madison tried to show his love and affection for his father it was either grudgingly accepted or not even acknowledged or reciprocated.  This used to perplex him and upset him as well.  What had he done to deserve this apparent rejection? 

Sometimes he would ask his mother and she would be understanding, yet made excuses for his father which would leave his mind in further turmoil.  Sometimes he would see other men, maybe fathers holding their boy’s hands or cuddling them.  When he saw this he felt a sense of loss and betrayal, even jealousy.

nappy1

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Lost Souls
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2011, 01:23:27 AM »
Part 20



“Mama
Mama,” a little voice echoed over the monitor.  She smiled.  Her baby was awake.  Jill bustled down the hall and paused by the nursery door. She slowly opened it and peered around the oak panel.  He was sitting in the middle of his crib picking at his teddy. She pushed it open wider and entered. Madison’s head snapped around and he quickly got to his feet and stood clutching the crib rail.  Jill was taken by his image – tousled dirty blonde hair, dummy bobbling in his mouth and his nappy clad pilcher drooping below the hem of his nightie.  He was positively beaming and bouncing on the mattress.  As she crossed the room he reached his arms towards her. “Mama
Mama
” he chortled.  When she reached him she kissed his head tenderly as he grabbed at her.  She extracted herself and quickly opened the drapes filling the room with more natural light.  Madison watched her leave him to open the curtains.  He whimpered slightly he wanted her.



Jill grinned to herself when she heard the whimper.  He wanted her that was apparent.  She crossed back to the crib.  Madison grabbed her again as she lovingly wrapped her arms around him and tried to climb the smooth rails to get into her arms.  She kissed him again.



“Hello angel,” she cooed to him.



“Mummy
Mummy,” he chortled excitedly gripping her gown and clawing at the smooth rails with one bootie clad foot.



He smelt of baby powder, stale milk and urine, a typical early morning baby smell.  It was a smell she thought she had lost when Bethany departed.  It was a smell she always found intoxicating.  What intrigued her was the way he grabbed and pawed at her.  This was different.  This was something Bethany never did.  He tried to climb the rail again.



“Stand still bubby so Mummy can check you,” she said softly.  He looked at her with large deep brown eyes.  Jill reached over him.  As she did so he rubbed his face over her gown.  She lifted his nightie and pulled the back of his nappy open and peered down between the cloth and his pink bottom.  Her nose was assailed with the pungent smell of urine but there was no poos smearing his nappy and bottom.  She knew he wasn’t dirty but she wanted him to get used to having his nappy checked. She released the cloth and allowed his nightie to fall.  Madison pulled away and looked at her.  â€œJust a wet baby,” she smiled beeping his pacifier.  He smiled at her.  Jill released the side of the crib and immediately he flopped into her arms.  She gathered him and he threw his arms around her neck and cuddled in.  



Jill carried him over to the large cupboard as she retrieved a change of nappies.  She returned to the changing table and gently laid him down.  With unhurried movements she lovingly changed his nappy.  Madison lay passively in front of her readily accepting of her ministrations. He cooed softly around his dummy as she carefully and thoroughly wiped his bottom and nappy area.  He flexed his legs slightly as she pulled the thick, warm, absorbent nappy up between his legs and pinned it firmly yet snugly around his loins.  Jill decided not to cover them with any plastics preferring instead to see his unprotected nappy. Anyway, she mused, he’ll probably need changing when it was time to dress him.



She recalled how adorable and babyish he was the evening before as he toddled around the lounge and crawled over the carpet.  His thick white fluffy bottom winked at her and shouted baby.  Even when he sidled down the hall way on the pretext of wanting his teddy only to hide and fill his nappy she thought was so cute. She noted once he had messed his nappy he seemed unperturbed by the contents and happily continued to play.



Carefully she reached under his nightie and pulled down his singlet before doing the same to his nightie. Finally she picked up a clean bib from a pile beside the table and tied it around his neck rolling him onto his side to do it. When he was back on his back she flattened the infantile cloth over his chest. Madison lay still allowing her to do as she wanted, manipulating his body like a new-born.  Jill leaned over him and Madison watched her move closer.  He blinked then smiled reaching up to clasp her.  Jill slid her hands under his armpits and lifted him free of the changing table and with him suspended in mid-air she brought him closer until his face touched hers and she smothered his face with kisses.  She expected him to squirm away like Bethany used to do but he didn’t.  He reached his arms out and grabbed her placing dummy-filled mouth on hers.  Jill was touched by his display of affection.  There was no doubt about it he was an affectionate cuddly child.  



She heard her friends at play group state on many occasions how their little boys displayed the same attributes while those with girls recounted more stand-offish behaviour.  The boys seemed to want to display and share their affection.  Jill used to pass it off as idle boasting but now she was experiencing it first-hand.  Jill pulled him into her and placed an arm under his soft bulky bottom.  He flung his arms around her neck and buried his face into her neck.  She could feel him try to melt into her.  His tummy gurgled.  Madison pulled himself upright and gazed at her.  Jill lifted his nightie.



“What was that?” she cooed. “Was that an empty tummy calling to Mummy?”  He looked down then placed both hands over his tummy and giggled.  Jill rubbed his tummy.  Madison could see her hand, his thick nappy and the yellow tipped nappy pins.  He leaned into her trying to hide his stomach as it growled again.  â€œCome on angel I think Mummy needs to put something in there before gets too growly,” she grinned and left the room and carried him down to the warm lounge.



Jill stopped by the fire and partially closed the damper.  The lounge was quite warm.  With Madison still clinging to her she crossed to the large expanse of windows and pulled back the drapes.  Jill gazed outside momentarily.  She knew what it was like outside then she allowed her focus to hone in upon the image mirrored in the glass.  Madison tried to twist and turn to look out the window.  Jill shifted him onto her hip.  She hitched him up.  Madison wrapped his small legs around her waist.  He felt the soft nappy rub over his peenie and press into his crotch.



Jill was mesmerised by the image reflected in the glass.  There she was standing clasping a baby to her hip.  A scene that had been played many times with Bethany but now she had a new baby. Her eyes scanned his image.  His nightie had ridden up exposing his nappy.  His pink legs were wrapped around her hips and his bootie clad foot was etched against her gown.  She could make out his dummy bobbling in his mouth.  Of course she could hear him suc-king on the infantile soother.  She noted his tiny pink hand grabbing the front of her gown.  He seemed transfixed by what was outside. Jill was able to gain an appreciation of his size in relation to her and at that moment he looked tiny. In fact, she reflected, he looked like a baby which confirmed in her mind her treatment of him.  For all intents and purposes he was a baby.  That’s where he was functioning at this present point in time.  There he will stay she decided.



Madison was transfixed on the images beyond the glass.  He knew it was cold outside, it looked it and he could feel a draft radiate off the glass.  He looked for his little friend, the little fantail.  To him it symbolised freedom yet dependence.  The bird was free to flit and flutter around the garden yet was dependent on the foliage on plants or the ground to be disturbed liberating his food.  In a way that’s how Madison felt.  He was ‘free’ from his father’s clutches and physical abuse yet he was dependent now on his new ‘Mummy’ for all his needs – food, warmth, clothing and cleanliness.  His eyes scanned the buffeted shrubs and trees then followed the leaves as they dashed past him. Occasionally his eyes shifted focus and watch his ‘mother’ then scanned himself.  His nine year old psyche, both physical and psychological, were gone replaced by that of a baby. All he saw when he gazed at himself was a baby.  Is that what he really looked like?  Surely no one would recognise him the way he was now.  And to top it all he liked what he saw.  He had accepted and assimilated all its trappings. He wanted to be a baby.  By losing himself in the baby world he hoped he would leave behind all his hurt, all his disappointments, all the sadness which had permeated his existence.  And just to celebrate his new found joy and contentment he wet his new nappy.



Jill stirred herself from her daydream.  



“Come on bubby,” she said softly hitching him up on her hip again. “I think it’s time my baby had something nice in his tum-tum.”



Madison brought himself back to the present and looked at her then laid his head on her shoulder. ‘Yip,’ he thought, ‘something to eat would be nice.’

nappy1

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Lost Souls
« Reply #19 on: July 20, 2011, 04:57:55 PM »
Part 21

Jill walked over to the large comfortable couch and settled herself into the comfy cushions.  Madison looked around perplexed.  She hadn’t gone to the kitchen to get his bottle.  That’s what he wanted and expected.  He was swung around until he was settled on her lap.  His stomach growled again. He started to mewl hoping she would see the error of her action and get his bottle.

“I know darling my baby’s hungry,” she cooed. “It’s alright little one Mummy’s got something for you,” she continued as she rearranged his bib and laid him back in her arms.  It must be beside her he reasoned to himself.  She must have got it earlier and now it was cooling ready for him beside the couch.  Jill slipped his dummy from his lip trailing a line of saliva over his chin.  She smiled and wiped his chin.

Madison watched as she opened her gown and parted her nightie exposing her fulsome breast.  He swallowed.  When he looked at the large brown nipple it was glistening.  He watched spellbound as she pinched it and a drop of creamy fluid appeared.

“Okay little one time for some breakkie,” she cooed as she turned him to face her breast.  Madison felt a surge of panic.  He had had snuggles over the past three days but nothing was forthcoming.  He had been content to suc-k her nipple the same way he suc-ked his dummy for comfort and security but this was going to be different. Madison felt her hand on the back of his head guide him towards the glistening tumescence. He wanted to resist but he felt himself being drawn towards it. It touched his lips and he instinctively opened his mouth and suc-ked the nipple in.  Immediately his mouth filled with warm creamy fluid.  It had a thin taste unlike anything he had had before.  He swallowed and his stomach rejoiced. The more he suc-ked the more he was rewarded. He moved in closer and took more of the nipple in his mouth until it almost filled it. The milk gurgled down his throat.  It was a steady flow and he had to swallow quickly before his mouth filled again.  He sighed and relaxed and nursed quite contentedly.  Now he was a real baby he thought.

Jill was thrilled at the way he quickly latched on.  She could hear his hurried swallows and feel his firm strong suc-k as he extracted more and more of her nourishing fluid.  As far as she was concerned her baby was home and where he should be – on her breast.  That’s where he would remain in the years to come from her perspective.

Madison could feel her fingers lovingly stroke his temple and caress his cheek.  It was as soothing as was the milk which filled his tummy.  He felt her hand slip between his legs and start patting his thick nappied bottom.  As he nursed he could hear the rhythmic dull ‘whamp’ ‘whamp’ as his ‘mother’s’ hand patted his bottom.  It was a sensation he liked.  He looked sideways at her.  Jill smiled when she saw him gazing up at her, her nipple firmly wedged in his mouth. He smiled back and a trickle of milk oozed out of the corner of his mouth.

He was lost in his thoughts as he nursed.  His mind dwelt upon his present situation.  Who would have thought that he would have ended up here, in this home, so far from his?  All he had been intent on doing was to get away from his father; as far away as possible.  Maybe it was luck that brought him here, maybe it was good fortune. Maybe it was co-incidence or perhaps destiny, whatever it was he didn’t care.  As far as he was concerned he felt safe, wanted and loved for the first time in his life. The fact that he was now in nappies, virtually babied around the clock and was now suc-kling breast milk didn’t matter.  Madison savoured every swallow of the infantile ‘formula’.  It was soothing and filling.  He could feel his hunger being dulled.  He wriggled his bottom.  The soft cloth of his nappy reminding him of his new status.  He smiled inwardly.  He loved it. His new ‘mother’s’ arms and warm body cocooned him and wrapped themselves in a shroud.  So he had to behave like a baby – so what?  It wouldn’t be hard for him. He knew that because deep down he was a baby.  He hadn’t really grown up; perhaps he had physically but certainly not psychologically.

Jill watched as he lifted his small delicate hand and rested it on the top of her breast his small fingers lightly pawing at her skin.  She remembered how Bethany did the same.  It was almost as if he was wanting greater contact with her, and saying with his baby-like movements – ‘This is mine Mummy.’

‘Yes sweetheart it is yours darling,’ she said in her head. ‘It will always be yours.’

Madison loved the way the swollen nipple caressed his tongue and mouth as he suc-ked.  When he drew the nipple across his tongue he was rewarded with warm milk. suc-k, swallow, suc-k, swallow he told himself as he set his own rhythm.  He wriggled his bottom again and pulled his legs up slightly.  He grimaced and stopped suc-king momentarily.  He could feel his ‘Mummy’ patting his bottom. Then his bowel opened involuntarily and a warm ooze wormed its way out and coated his bottom and nappy.  Madison suddenly felt himself push in a reflex action and more of the warm mess seeped out in a steady motion.

Jill watched her baby intently.  His eyes looked dreamy and the large dark eye lashes fluttered.  His nostrils flared and relaxed almost in sync with his suc-king.  She could see the muscles in his jaw work in unison as they suc-ked the nourishment from her mammary.  Suddenly he stopped suc-king and grimaced and low growl rumbled in his throat.  She stopped patting his nappy but rested her hand instead.  There, she could feel it. He was filling his nappy in the same manner as any baby.  She felt him tense and grunt as more poos, this time a steady flow, could be felt entering his nappy.  The cloth moved as the waste filled any space.  She lightly rubbed his seated.  His eyes flicked towards her then he resumed nursing again.

Madison could feel the stead ooze of poop fill his nappy.  He couldn’t stop it even if he tried.  Anyway he didn’t want too, the milk he was drinking was more important to him. That, and showing his ‘Mummy’ what a good baby he was.  He looked at her fleetingly.  She had a knowing look on her face.  She knew what he had done.

“I think my baby has just filled his nap-nap, hasn’t he eh?” she stated quietly. “Have you got a parcel for Mummy to clean up, eh?”  Madison looked at her.  There was no need to respond she knew he had.  He grinned around her nipple. “I know you think you’re clever, don’t you?” she continued playfully.

Jill cast her eye along his slender, delicate body.  His nightie had ridden up exposing his pink tummy and back.  His nappy was snugly pinned around him. At this moment he looked more like a baby than ever. Madison shifted his legs and poos slithered over his bottom.  His bladder had emptied at the same time but he hadn’t felt it.  He knew he had because the front and side of his nappy were warm and wet.  He lifted his leg to scratch it with his free hand.  Jill caught and caressed it.  Madison looked at her and smiled.  Jill took the opportunity while his leg was open to peer between the soft skin of his thigh and the fluffy white cloth.  She could see the yellowy-brown paste smeared over his bottom and upper leg as well covering his nappy.  At this point she needed those nappy liners more than ever.  This nappy, she was sure, would need a good soak in Napisan.

Finally she noted that his swallowing had become intermittent.  Her breast had surrendered all of its nourishment in the meantime.  Using a finger she delicately slipped it between his lips and her breast to break the seal.  Madison relaxed his mouth and the nipple slowly wormed its way out. Jill quickly wiped her breast on her nightie before letting it slip out of sight. Madison rolled away and gazed at her his mouth partially open and breast milk coating his tongue, lips and chin.  Jill could see it pooling in the corners of his mouth.  She lovingly wiped his mouth with his bib.  He let his legs slump further trapping the mess in his nappy against him.  He didn’t care at the moment.  His tummy was nearly full and he was basking in the last mouthfuls.

Jill reached over to the stack of freshly folded nappies on the table beside the couch and took one.  She draped it over her shoulder.  Should he spill which was likely, she mused, she didn’t want the ‘baby badge’ on her gown.

“Come on little one,” she cooed as she slipped her hands under his armpits. “I think there’s some windies rolling around in that wee tum-tum,” she crooned.  Ever so slowly she lifted him until he was propped against her his face facing behind her and over the nappy.  She placed one hand firmly under his bottom.  This squashed the poopy mess into his bottom and nappy then she used the other to gently pat his back.

Madison knew he was being ‘burped’.  He was used to it now. He ignored the squishing sensation when she supported his bottom.  He squirmed because he could feel an uncomfortable tightness in his stomach.  Without warning he belched loudly then again and again.

“Good boy,” praised Jill and a quiet motherly tone.  He burped again and a rush of regurgitated breast milk flooded out of his mouth, down his chin and over the nappy.  He burped and the same infantile spill happened again.  Jill reached up and gently eased him off her shoulder.  “My, my, what a wee piggy eh.  A wee piggy bubby,” she soothed as she wiped his mouth and chin.  Madison knew by her tone she wasn’t angry or disgusted.  She kept patting his back.  Madison knew there was very little wind left.  His stomach had lost its tightness and was more comfortable.

nappy1

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« Reply #20 on: August 23, 2011, 04:16:41 PM »
Part 22



After a few more minutes Jill decided it was time to change him before giving him more.



“Come on angel,” she soothed. “Mummy had better change a wee bubby’s poopy nap-naps.”  She carefully lifted him from her shoulder, turned and placed the spare nappy on the cushion of the couch beside her before laying him on it. If he split again the nappy would catch it and not mark the cushion.



Madison looked at her as he lay in front of her his legs slightly bent.  He could smell the residue of his milky spill on the nappy he was lying on.  His hands were palm up beside his head.  He watched as she reached behind her and retrieved several freshly laundered nappies. He gazed spellbound as she opened them out, place them together and proceeded to fold them.  He watched as she folded another single nappy and placed it on top of the fold.  To Madison it felt strange to observe her preparing something he was going to wear.  He hadn’t seen her do it before.  Whenever she had changed him before the folded nappies were ready and waiting, this time she had to prepare them.  They were his nappies and eventually he was going soil them in some way.  It was this basic realisation which had struck Madison.



Jill was gentle and caring as she went about the grisly task.  Madison lay passively soaking up her ministrations.  He could feel the breast milk sitting comfortably in his stomach.  He turned and looked at the log fire with its lazy flame dancing around the firebox. He belched and his mouth filled regurgitated breast milk, a taste which Madison found unpleasant.  It oozed out of the corner of his mouth, trickled down the side of his face and pooled on the nappy covering the couch.  Jill heard him belch and saw the white ooze course out of his mouth.  Quickly she wiped up the infantile mess with a spare cloth.



“Oh dear little one,” she cooed as she wiped his face. “A wee sickie eh.”  Her voice wasn’t accusatory or tinged with any malice.  It was soothing and coated with concern like any mother would for her baby.



Once he was cleaned up she returned to the smelly task of changing him. She smiled at him as she lifted his nightie out of the way and rolled him sideways so she could do the same up his back. He was used to being manipulated like a baby. She patted the bunched cloth between his legs.  Madison allowed them to flop open. Jill looked around to reassure herself that the wipes were within reach.  She knew this was going to be a messy affair so she wanted everything at her fingertips.



She removed the nappy pins from the cloth and gingerly pulled the wet cloth away from his groin.  His bottom was smeared in the creamy brown waste.  Using the cleaner parts of the nappy she wiped his bottom until most of it had been scraped into his nappy.  Madison could feel every sweep of the cloth over his bottom.  He lay impassively on the couch enjoying the sensation.  He loved having his nappy changed because his ‘Mummy’ was always so gentle and caring.  Next he was thoroughly washed with a cool flannel followed my some scented baby wipes.  When she was satisfied that he was clean his nappy was slipped under his small bottom, copious amounts of baby powder added then it was pinned snugly in place.  Madison sighed after the second nappy pin was snapped closed.  Jill gently patted the soft white mound between his legs as though she was checking there was enough nappy in place.  Leaning over she slipped her hands under his armpits.



“Come to Mummy precious,” she cooed and lifted Madison into her arms.  Immediately he snuggled into her his face buried in her neck.  Jill could feel his warm breath caress her neck. It sent luxurious shivers down her spin.  She loved it when her babies snuggled in like that and Madison more so.  Bethany didn’t do it very much but Madison was clearly a very cuddly child. This was what Jill was struggling to reconcile.  Madison was clearly a very cuddly and affectionate child.  His actions over the last couple of days had confirmed this, yet why would someone want to reject him.  Surely, she reasoned, having a cuddly child was the ultimate for any mother or any parent.  It meant in her mind that that child recognised and wanted the warmth, closeness and affection from their parent and was prepared to reciprocate in return.  Her feelings were reinforced when Madison snuggled into her more. She could feel his little bottom inside his nappy as she caressed his naps. Why would his father, having lost the boy’s mother turn, savagely reject the closest creature in his life.  To her it was beyond comprehension. Madison continued to wriggle and snuggle in.



“Is my baby okay?” she whispered in his ears.



“Mmmmmmmm
” he murmured.



“Do you like having cuddles with Mummy?” she asked softly.



“Mmmmmmmm
”



Both just savoured the moments.  Then very gently Jill shifted the small boy until he was once more cradled in her arms.  As she opened her nightie again Madison turned toward the gleaming wet nipple and was drawn to it like a magnet.  Jill didn’t need to coax or guide him it was in his mouth and he was suc-kling before she knew.  She relaxed letting down her milk.  Madison’s mouth began to fill quickly again and initially he struggled to keep up with the flow.  Finally he managed to control it and let his tummy continue to fill.  Jill scanned his fragile body.  He was smaller than any near ten year old she had ever met.  His arms and legs were slender, his hands and feet small.  His face was narrow and his blonde hair fell over his head in beautiful waves and curls.  It shone in the morning light cascading through the lounge windows.  It had lost its lank, straggly greasy unkempt look.  She watched his jaw work on her nipple and could see his throat contracting as he swallowed her nectar.  His nightie had ridden up exposing his lower torso with his ribs outlined against his skin.  The nappy cupped and wrapped itself around his loins completing his baby-like appearance.  She was pleased that he had now become attuned to being in nappies.  He needed them now anyway.  She smiled to herself in the realisation that he would probably never be out of them.  What surprised her was the fact that he was wearing baby nappies and they fitted him beautifully.  That gave a true indication of how delicate and frail he was.



Jill also wondered whether his present physical condition was the result of all the emotional, physical, and psychological abuse he had received.  He was certainly well under nourished.  She watched with love glowing in her eyes as his tiny hand kneaded her breast and his small body wriggled and twitched just like a young baby.



Madison couldn’t wait for her to expose her breast.  He craved for what she had inside them.  He had already partially filled his tummy on the infantile nectar and wanted more.  He knew that boys’ of his age just didn’t suc-kle on breasts or drink breast milk, yet he didn’t care.  What age was he, he questioned himself? He knew he was nearly ten because his tenth birthday was close. Yet he didn’t feel like ten and didn’t want to be ten.  His head and heart were saying to him in subtle ways – “You’re nearly two Maddie, that’s how old you really are. You want to be two. You’re only a baby Maddie, a cute toddler.  That’s what you really are, aren’t you?”   His subconscious was now taking over and Madison found himself nodding as he guzzled the milk.  His new mothers’ arms always were warm and inviting, her breasts were now his to get food, his nappy felt soft, comforting and safe, his pacifier always felt reassuring and ultimately he felt at home.  That was it – he was at home.



Gradually Madison noticed the milk flow was slowly diminishing.  Which was good because his stomach was so full as the milk sloshed around that he thought he would burst.  Jill broke the seal and extracted the wet milky morsel.  Wiping it on her nightie she slipped it away from view.  Madison lay in her arms frightened to move his tummy full to capacity.  He was certain that if he moved some of it was bound to find its way out of his mouth.  Jill looked at her baby as he lay in her arms at her mercy.  His mouth was partially open and she could see the residue of milk on his tongue and mixed with his saliva.  Some had already found its way over his lips and down his chin, while more was slowly trickling out of the corner of his mouth and down his cheek.  She used his bib to mop up the excess.



“My baby’s got such a full tum-tum, hasn’t he?” she cooed affectionately dabbing his tongue causing the young child to smile. “Oh yes he has. Oh yes he has,” she prattled to him.  Madison was lapping up the attention.  He bent his knees, flexed his bottom and allowed his legs to flop open.  Jill watched as a small wet spot appeared in the front of his nappy.



Madison could feel his peenie spasm and a warm wet sensation melt over it and into his nappy. He realised that once it had happened he was wetting himself.  He felt no urge, no sudden building of pressure, it just happened and he couldn’t stop it.  His bladder now had a mind of its own.  Jill wasn’t too concerned.  She was sure he would wet again before she dressed him.  The most important thing was to wind him then get herself organised.

 

The more you give, the more I can give back.

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