A Bully in d'Bronx

[teddi]

All I knew about the whole thing was that we were moving to the Bronx out of the one bedroom second floor rat-hole apartment on Steinway Ave.   When I say rat hole, that’s exactly what it was ’cause the mice would often come out of their holes and run across the floor to another spot, stop, look around and then scurry off to another place which they thought was a lot better for whatever purpose that suited their needs.  The only problem was they never stopped.  Day or night they were the constant reminder that they, not us, my mother and me, ruled the roost.  As for my dad I never saw him and new even less about him.



Honestly, I wasn’t the least upset that we were leaving the place; especially because of all the things that happened to me there but then again that’s another story or two.  Anyhow, I knew all about the place, the apartment that we were moving to.  It was on the fifth floor, A side, on Sheridan Ave; but the only bad thing was that it didn’t have an elevator.  You had to walk five flights up or down carrying yourself or lugging whatever else it was that you had with you all the way in both directions. 



Grandma’s apartment was big, at least for a kid like me of ten and a half.  It had three bedrooms and a full bathtub:  one that didn’t have rust around it or holes in the sides at the top of it where the faucet was.  I should add that the only reason we were moving from where we were to her place was because she was moving to Florida and the only way that we could move out was to move in before it was, as my mother told someone else she was talking to, “let out.”  I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about…how could you let a whole apartment out?  Out of what? 



Anyhow, an added bonus for a rough and ready boy like me, who liked to fight, was the fact that I could go out and trash someone so I thought it was a great place!  Whenever we’d go over and visit I’d rarely go upstairs, except to say hi and then to use the bathroom, because I found out that there were so many boys that I could literally whale the crap out of!  I should tell you that me and my mother were not the best of friends.  To be honest I loathed her not only because she’d beat the hell out of me but also because of all the mind games crap that she’d use on me.  I guess that’s why I did it, fight that is. 



Normally, after saying hello and goodbye to my grandmother, I’d jump at the chance to get away from them both; especially my mother, run downstairs, push open the front doors to the courtyard and then bound away from them after literally leaping over the successive four step stoops which fronted the apartment and onto Sheridan Ave.  Minutes later, I’d find myself at the entry to the subway along the Grand Concourse and wait.  It was a good place to meet kids who were either my size or several inches taller not only because of the subway but because of Borelli’s corner candy store which was nearby.  It didn’t make any difference to me who it was.  If it was a lone boy I wanted to fight him, regardless. 



I was always eager to get there and when I did I camped out and waited for some sorry butt to make his way towards me.  Of course, I’d introduce myself and tell him in no uncertain terms that, “This is my corner and since you’re here you have to fight me.”  The dumb look on their faces was great.  Some, though few, were eager; but I thought the others who didn’t were sissies and told them so.  The truth was I didn’t care.  I wanted to fight even if they didn’t.  I wanted to make each one of ’em cry.  Unfortunately for me, I picked a fight with a kid who I’d trashed before; after I beat the hell out him again he ran crying and bleeding down a flight of stairs into some doctors’ office.  The doctor came out all bent out of shape and threatened to call the cops on me.  I gave him the Bronx cheer, flipped him off and then strutted down the side street back to Sheridan Ave. 



Unfortunately for me I never made it to the corner because before I could turn it I was lifted up right off the sidewalk.  Well, it wasn’t all like a gentle up you go sort of a lift, it was more like a yank your butt right up here off of the ground and get twisted around type.  Naturally, I was surprised as hell and started to yell out, “What the fuc.!” and I swung out with a right cross before I could see who the hell had actually grabbed me from behind from the collared shirt I was wearing and luckily stopped short of landing it to the red faced puss of a big NYCP cop who was now staring me right in the kisser.



He stared me in the face and said “Glory be you’re a handful aren’t you.”  I knew better than to razz this guy but I still scowled at him and didn’t say a thing.  I figured that sooner or later that something would hit the fan and being the mean little kid that I was I wasn’t about to make life for him any easier.  So I let him do all the talking. “You live around here?”   I didn’t answer.  “You got a name?”  I didn’t answer.  “Tough guy eh?”  I shrugged my shoulders as best I could given the circ-umstances and smirked at him.  “Well listen up tough guy, we can do this the easy way or you can come down to the station with me, what’ll it be?” 



I swallowed my pride and murmured just one word, “Easy.”   I didn’t know how big this guy was until he began to lower me back down to the concrete sidewalk.  I had to admit this was the biggest dam guy I’d ever seen in my life and the one other thing that I was sure of was that I sure as hell glad that I didn’t land the punch that I started to.  Any way, as soon as my P.F. Fliers touched the ground I thought to beat feet; but that was a bad idea.  He hadn’t let go of my collar so I just got jerked backwards and heard him start to laugh while telling me in no uncertain terms, “Oh no you don’t!  Why don’t you and me take a walk to where you live and if you try that one more time you can cool your heels at the station.  Now, you walk, I’ll follow and if you know what’s good for you, you’d better walk straight to wherever it is and when we get there I better find someone there who’ll claim you.”



I did what anyone else in that situation would do.  I walked him back up to the apartment and heard the razzing of some of the kids who gawked and hooted at me and him…well they stared mostly at me as he was actually frog marching me right up to the main entry door of the six story tenement where he then loosened his grip a bit and let me go up the stairs before him two steps at a time. The poor guy huffed and puffed the last flight but never let go of my shirt.  I led him right to 5-A and stopped at the crap colored brown door and waited. 



He asked me for my last name and I gave it to him.  He pressed the buzzer a couple of times, didn’t hear nothin and then knocked on it loud enough to make the next door neighbor in 5-B open hers.   I knew her too.  My mother always told me to call her aunt Vera.  She wasn’t really my aunt but anyhow that’s what I did.  In any case it was my mother who came to the door and asked “Who is it?” and got the reply of “NYPD…Officer O’Malley…Mrs. Miller? open up I got a present for you.”



I heard the chain being loosened and then the deadbolt being turned.  The door creaked open and the spring hinges that where on it wanted no part of it because they were way tight and wanted to slam shut even if the door was open only a couple of inches or so.  Anyhow, both O’Malley and me could see her peek around the door next to the foyer wall to see who it actually was ’cause the door didn’t have no peep hole and when she did I knew that I was toast.  The look on her face said it all.  I’d seen it before so I wasn’t at all surprised just scared.  I figured what would or could happen to me with a cop around wouldn’t be half as bad as when I would be left alone with her later on.



Standing right there Officer O’Malley asked her point blank “Is there anyone here who knows this boy because if there isn’t he’s coming with me.”  The look of hatred on her face when she saw me and her moan of disgust was quickly followed with her reply of “Yes, its mine.”  I guess that said it all for me because I had always figured that I was more of an imposition than anything else.  She unchained the door then asked him to “Come in;” which he did with me leading the way.  It was only then, when after the door had closed behind us both, that he let go his grip off my shirt.



I straightened out my shirt and just looked away from them both.



He wasted no time in explaining to her that he been stationed near the subway entrance on the Grand Concourse and had witnessed me beating the crap out of some other boy.  It was only after a doctor had come out of his office and complained to him to do something about it that he did.  He went on with “…What’s more, from what I hear, this was a common occurrence because his patrons had often complained to him about “…the little boy with the brown hair and tan chinos who was a bully.”  Lady, the doc was pretty clear about what he wanted to have happen to your son:  he wants him put away; arrested or reform school.  Am I making myself clear here?”



All my mother did was nod two or three times during the course of which my grandmother also happened to get in on the event with her two-cent worth.  “Terry are you fighting again?  Always you come here and leave so quick then when you come back you have cuts and bloody nose.  What’s wrong with you?  Such a pretty boy why you want to fight?



I could have told her but who’d have cared or believed me.  I figured it was better for me to shut up and take what was coming to me so I didn’t say a word to her about it either.   In any event, officer O’Malley was pretty well head up on making it clear to mommy dear of what would happen to me if I were to be taken back to the station house with him and of what might occur with the Borough looking into the whys and wherefores of the whole thing.   He went on with, “Lady, I can play this one of two ways but it’s up to you.  I really don’t want to take the time to drag his butt along with me so here’s what I think.  You guarantee me that he’ll never go back out on the street again and pick a fight again.   Furthermore the doc said he doesn’t want your kid hanging around his office anymore because he’s driving his business off.  Secondly, I told the doc that I’d take care of it so the kid needs to be punished like he’s never been before.  Did I mention that your little sweetheart Terry here even was gonna take a poke at me when I hoisted his keester off the street.  I’ll tell you straight out…it was a good thing he didn’t.  So…now…what’ll it be?”



“Officer,” she began, “…can you come into the living room and bring him.”



 I really loved it when she said “bring him,” just like she was ordering him with me like I was some other person’s kid instead of her own.  What else was new, but I wasn’t surprised.  I was used to her rants, her screaming, the slaps in the face she gave me, and the swats with a belt across my legs and thighs coupled with the never ending threats of her sending me off to reform school because I didn’t love her.  What a hypocrite.  Why should I?  Love her…oh please.



I was even getting used to her crappy cooking; which I still couldn’t stomach but somehow managed to keep down.  I guess after being forced to eat your own puke a couple of times; even stuff you wouldn’t consider putting in your own mouth tastes a whole lot better. 



Where was I, oh yea, anyhow we walks into the living room an there she just turns around and starts talking past me again to him all about how hard she tried to raise me and of what a handful I was to handle.  She never mentioned anything about all the things she did to me and like I said before there were a whole lot more.  But that’s beside the point.  Anyway, just after she explains about how difficult I am she up and says, “Officer, if I give him the whipping of his life in front of you can you forget the matter?” 



What was that she said, “…the whipping of my …” yea I thought so.  But I wondered how could another whipping be any worse than any of the others that she’d so enthusiastically given me?  I mean she almost always seemed to go out of her way, just for the smallest thing to find some reason to do it.  I was tired of ’em and even more tired of her and frankly I didn’t at that time give a rat’s ass!  I found out just a couple of minutes later of how wrong I was; especially about the whipping part.



Without fanfare she simply ordered my grandmother off with “Mom, go get the wooden handle ladle from the kitchen, the quarter inch ruler, your hairbrush and pop’s belt.”  As an afterthought she called after her “…don’t forget the salve.”  Of all the things she’d mentioned the only one I didn’t know anything first hand about was what the hell a salve was but I was gonna find out.



Right after that she asks real sweet like “Officer, will you please take a seat anywhere on the couch and I promise you that when you report back to this doctor that you will have witnessed the whipping of your life.  Furthermore, that when he does see him,” she just pointed to me, “again, that he will receive an apology in person and ask for forgiveness.  I promise that you will never see him on the street again like he is now doing what he was doing.” 



I don’t know what it was but Officer O’Malley just smiled at her and then came right out and flat told her “Lady, what I can promise you is simple.  If I so much as see your boy here anywhere along the Grand Concourse throwing hands I won’t even bother to come up here and talk to you.  Understand?”



All he heard in reply was mother’s curt reply of “Yes.”  I stood there for a couple of seconds and didn’t say a word, thought about what I might say, but didn’t because before I could mother ordered me to take off my shirt.  I thought that that was kinda odd and when I didn’t do it fast enough she just finished with the rest of it and ripped it off of me one sleeve at a time: what was left of the pack of Lucky Strikes that I’d stashed under my left sleeve dropped to the floor. She looked at ’em and didn’t say a word; it was her brand so I figure the 17 cents I wasted on ’em was good for something. 



Any way, before I knew what was happening she’d pulled off both of my sneakers without even bothering to unlace them and then went right to the button on my chinos; reached for the zipper, pulled it down and then just pulled real hard on either side so that she ripped the button right off it.  I tried to stop her from pulling my pants down but before I could move either of my knees out of the way she had pulled both legs down to around my ankles.  All of a sudden, with me standing there in my underpants, my grandmother walks back in right in the middle of me trying to catch my balance and me saying “No don’t” and  puts all of the stuff she’d brought back with her right on the couch beside the cop.  The reason I even mention this is because there’s a bottle of some clear stuff that she called “Witch Hazel.”  I didn’t know about that stuff but I was gonna find out what kinda stuff that was and boy was it gonna hurt!



At this point I was yelling out at her to “MOM STOP TAKING OFF ALL MY CLOTHES!  Mommeeee…sob…please…sob…STOP…Stop taking off…off all…off all of of of my …MY CLOTHES!”  Of course, she didn’t listen and while trying to worm myself away from her she even managed to get my Fruit Of the Looms pulled down and off of me…well at least down to my ankles.  Then before I knew it she had both of my hands behind me and had turned me around completely undressed to stand right out there in the open.  With that, she sat down on the couch to the right beside O’Malley then pulled me right down to sit beside her off to the right and then before I knew what was happening had grabbed hold of my hair with her left hand and had pulled me down to lay across her lap.



There I plopped down to find my face almost dead center of this guys lap and try as I might to lift my head away I couldn’t because his hand is holding me down right against his leg.  I can’t help but stare at the garrison belt this guy has on and the rounds that are simply held in place by its loops that are in plain sight; besides which, his .38 special is almost hitting my chin and the smell of leather from his holster is way strong.  At the same time good ol mom still had my right arm wedged up behind my back had now blocked my legs between hers so all that I could do was squirm about.   



Then before I could start to say anything she started in on me…first with her open right hand with what she thought were about twenty hard slaps to my butt.  I gotta tell ya, the only thing that ever hurt on me with her open hand was when she’d slap me across the face…that hurt.  I kinda figure that her hand was getting sore and she stopped for a second, cursed something or other about not being able to make an impression then asked out loud for her mom to pass her the wooden handle spoon.  From that point on it started to hurt, not so much as when a razor strap nails ya but like little bee stings that you can hear go whap, whap, whap, whap, whap.  She didn’t stop with the spoon until she busted the handle, cussed some more and then just lit into me with the hair brush.

 

I kinda giggled to myself because I knew she couldn’t hit me worth a crap sitting down because the only way she could really hurt me was when she’d use the belt or clock me right out across the face when she was standing up.  I don’t know why but she could really reach back and get every bit of what she wanted out of whatever it was she was gonna lay into me with.  I figure with her standing it had to do with leverage or something like that.



But I’ll admit that with the brush that she landed a couple of good ones that smarted pretty good ’cause up until that time it was nothing for me to “ouch” and “oooh” and “ohh” and “ahh” and stuff like some sissy pansy would do…not that I was one…I mean if you can fake it who the hell would know?  Sorry to say that at that point Officer O’Malley did and chuckled out loud to mom that “The kid should go into movies he’s an actor.  Look at his rear it’s only red; lady aside from a couple of marks here and there you haven’t raised a welt yet so if that’s the best you can do me and him have some business down at the station.



After hearing that I thought about starting to cry for real but O’Malley had already made me so I just buttoned up and waited for her to throw me off of her lap and tell him to go ahead and take me in.  Maybe I wouldn’t have been so surprised at that when all of a sudden she up and offers him a come on with, “No, if you can do any better sitting down you’re more than welcome to.”



Before I knew what was happening I found myself being lifted like a doll and dropped like a sack of spuds right square on his lap by O’Malley who didn’t even make a grunt when he did it while at the same time just yakking away at my mother all business like with “Under normal circ-umstances, Mrs. or is it Ms. Miller I’d get up and walk the hell right out of here with this little hellion in tow but the kid was gonna take a poke at me and I can’t let that go…so if it’s all the same to you what say I show how to start and let you finish” and with that my head shot straight up when the first loud “THWACK” hit me square on my butt but that was only the first of about twenty or so which after only the first two landing had me yelping and screaming for him to stop:  he didn’t and after the next three landed I really started to cry for real; no faking it but honest to god he hurt and the more he slapped my butt the worser it was getting. 



“Lady,” he said pausing for a moment, that’s how you get his attention and this is how you raise a welt or two.  Notice not only do you have to slap the same spot but when you do you need a little whip action throughout the fingers and then down to the palm not the other way around; after I’m gone remember that practice makes perfect.  Now that I’ve got him warmed up for you, you finish it!”



“I intend to” were the words which I didn’t expect to hear and that’s when I found myself being lifted up by my ear and then put in a head lock; that’s when good ol mom laid into me with the ruler.  She didn’t stop at five or ten or twenty or forty but kept right on putting it to me across my butt, up and down my legs and with me twisting and turning and trying to get away and even managed to nail me on my wiener a couple of times and when she did that I bent all the way over to grap myself and that's when she really nailed me some more on my butt.    I don’t remember when it was but at some point O’Malley got up from the couch and excused himself and left her the parting words of “You’ve raised some fine welts but remember, just don’t over do it lady ’cause I don’t want to have to come back here.”  With that he simply excused himself and allowed my grandma to show him to the door while I was being dragged into my grandmothers bedroom, placed face down on her bed and then had her lay into to me with the belt with some really wicked strokes which really made me scream out after each CRACK!  After the last one hit mom just flat out told me that those were just lucky strikes.



A couple of seconds later grandma was passing her the bottle of which hazel and a cloth.  The only way to describe it is like having someone light your butt on fire after they douse it with alcohol.   I went to sleep like that bare butt and all and didn’t wake up until I felt my mother starting to roll me over and then pulling something bulky up in between my legs.

[teddi]

Right away I knew what it was and knew even better than to ask her what in the hell she thought she was doing ’cause of the look on her face that she gave me when she kinda looked down at the bed at the ruler she’d stashed right by me.  Of course the question of “why” was the one thing that I did want to ask her but the idea of her belting me across the chops kinda put that bright idea out of my mind.  It didn’t make no difference anyhow ’cause she would flat out spill the beans later to me after she was through pinning the diapers together.  



But you gotta understand, I didn’t really need diapers…at least not so’s you’d think that is ’cause the ones she was putting on me were from when I landed up in the hospital with two broke legs I got a couple of months ago when I fell down some stairs.  I never thought much about hospitals before then and still don’t and I remember I pitched a holy shit-fit in the hospital when they cut my dungarees off me and started to put ’em on me.  I didn’t know anything about it then but then that’s when they told me that “…all the kids under twelve when they go in the hospital hasta wear ’em ’cause of what they said were “…hospital rules!”  I didn’t care about their fuc-kin’ rules or how much my legs were hurtin and I screamed right at ’em that “I ain’t no baby and I ain’t gonna wear ’em so there!”  Yea, I admit it that I added “…and you can’t make me!” But they did.  



Yea I admit it. Well, that’s only ’cause they made me…but I only gave in after they used some big belts with some sorta cuffs to keep my hands down to either side of the bed I was in so’s I couldn’t undo them.  They finally let me loose after a couple of days when I promised not to try and take ’em off.  But I only promised them that ’cause of all the other kids that was there and in the same room who hadda wear ’em..  I mean, they were in ’em too so’s it wasn’t like me or them had any real say about the whole thing.  We were all in  â€™em an just ha’ta use ’em and that’s just the way it was.  Anyway, I guess you could say that that in the long run that that really turned out to be nothing but a load of crap for me.  



Well anyhow that’s how come she had ’em around here now ’cause we stayed here with my grandma instead of at our ratty place where I fell down. I mean I had to wear ’em ’till I was better and could walk on my own, and that took over six weeks before they cut ’em off me, the casts that is.    So like I said anyhow that’s why she had ’em ’cause we left all of ’em all here after that.   So where was I, oh yea, so anyway she goes and pulls them up and pins ’em up all tight like…I mean…not with just one or two of them pins that you’d use but really goes all apeshit with ’em so that even if I did start to take any of ’em out that before I ever finished I’d be s..o..l before I could ever get it off!  



Ya know I first figured right off that with all the pins that that’s it and that I’d hafta stay in one of the bedrooms and not come out; but was wrong.   ’Cause she yells at me to “Get out of bed and stand up,” and when I do I look down and see what she has laying on the floor and when she tells me to “Lift your foot,” but I don’t move none to quick.  



Naturally it was the wrong thing for me to do ’cause all it did was to give her another chance to lay into me again with the ruler and I really got a full dose of what she was dishin’ out.  I guess she listened to O’Malley pretty good ’cause she only got me on one leg and in just about the same spot every time and it hurt like the dic-kens.  



Of course she did what I thought it was that most mothers would do and so that every time she said a word right after it came a hard WHACK, CRACK or SLAP with it.  So when she said, “When…I…tell…you…do…something…you…will…listen.  I…have…had…it…up…to…here…with…you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  I didn’t bother to tell her “Oh yea? Well  I’m fed up with you too!!!



But after all that I guess she figured that I might listen to her when she told me to “Step into your rubber pants.”  But when I started to argue and blubber that “They aren’t my rubber pants! They’re…,” she hauled off and walloped me right on my left ear with a hard “SLAPP!” but not with the ruler, just her hand.



I gotta tell ya, I felt like I was Gene Fulmer being hit by Sugar Ray Robinson or Rocky Graziano so’s as I’m shakin’ the cobwebs outta my head she just starts to put my feet into the rubber pants one foot at a time and pulls ’em right on up and over and then just lets them SNAP into place right up against my bellybutton.  Then before I can do a thing she’s draggin me outta the bedroom by my left ear, down the hallway, out into the foyer and flat out tells me to “Get the hell out of here!” opens the door and starts to kick me outta the place.  



I mean I thoughta running away before and would’ve really done it this time but not the way I was dressed or undressed now!  Anyhow like I said, she gives me the boot and tells me to “Go outside and play!”  Right!  Like I’m dumb enough to go anywhere in just in diapers!  Besides I knew if anyone saw me that I’d be eating knuckle sandwiches!  Well, I’ll be honest, I did what any kid would do in my situation, I screamed bloody murder at her through the door to “LET ME IN!  LET ME IN!  PLEASE LET ME IN!  LET ME BACK IN.  DO YOU HEAR ME?! as kicked it as hard as I could with my bare foot and found out that that wasn’t to swift a move so I switched to pounding on it like a drum with either fist and went through the whole rigmarole again.



I didn’t stop until the door swung wide open and I saw her standing there with the belt in her hand.  To me it looked like she was raising it up to whack me a couple of more times with it but instead she just stood there and looked at me.  And yea, I was crying and blubbering for her to “Please let me in.  I’ll behave.  Please! Let me in!  Let me in! Please?”  I mean look, sure I was bent outta shape about the spanking she’d given me but also because I just knew that if anyone and I do mean anyone in the place ever saw me dressed the way I was; I knew that I’d be pickin’ my teeth up right off the floor like they was Chiclets that dropped outta the box.



For just a sec I thought she’d let me in.  Instead all she did was to close the door on me and tell me while she did it, “You want something to cry about?  You knock on this door again and I’ll give you something to cry about.  You’re not coming in here until I decide what to do with you!”  With that the door just closed and there I was just standing there all alone.



All I knew at that point was that if I stayed where I was that someone would see me for sure so in-between my sniffling and backhanding the snot that was running outta my nose I decided to do the only thing that seemed reasonable; I’d have to make a trip to “tar beach” and the only way to do that was to make sure that first, no one saw me and two that the door to the roof was unlocked.  Of course if the door to the roof was locked then I’d hafta either stay there and wait it out or go someplace else.



Luckily there was no one down the hallway so it was easy for me to get to the stairs and it was no problemo to haul butt up the one flight, take a quick peek in either direction and then hightail it up the last landing and set of stairs to the door that opened right onto the black roof.  â€œNuts!” wasn’t the only thing I murmured to myself when I found out that the “super” for some reason had locked it.  I thought about it for a while then decided against staying where I was.  I figured that if someone might want to go up and get some sun then the last thing I wanted was for them to see me so I made my way down just as quick to the 5th floor, stopped, looked down the stairs because I heard someone coming up and then looked down the hallway past 5 E to the window which opened up onto the roof deck which was there.  



I tip-toed just as quick as I could past B, C on the left and D on the right but stopped just short of E because the door was open.  I didn’t think that that was any big deal so I just stole a peek in, didn’t see no one, waited a sec, then made a bee-line for the window; lifted it up a bit more then crawled through it and out onto what was out there, which wasn’t much of anything.  The walls on this thing weren’t all that big, I mean, I wasn’t all that big and they only came up to about my knees; but I did think a couple of seconds of just how far it was down to the alley and whether it’d hurt all that much.  



I decided against it and just crawled up into a little ball and sat in the corner just beside where the window was.  I didn’t want to think about anything because I just wanted to be left alone.  That didn’t happen.

[teddi]

So what else was new?  Well, instead of just getting to be by myself like I figured; here I have to have a sneak poke their snoopy nose outta the window and look at me and then ask me the dumb as$ question of the year with “Hello, are you o.k?”   I mean give me a royal break…did I really look like I was o.k.?   I didn’t say nothing…I mean why should I?   It was no bee’s wax of theirs of why the hell I was doing what I was.  Besides, I figured that if I said anything else I wouldn’t be all to cool; ya know what I mean?  I mean really. like how are ya supposed to be cool looking like a total dork while crying like a…a…a stupid sissy girl?  



Anyhow, like I said, I didn’t say note.  But did that stop that… that …that idiot from asking me again…noooooooooo.  â€™Cause I hear that voice again and ya know it’s the same brainless question only asked all different like with, “You know I said, hello and I asked you real nice if you were o.k.  So I’ll ask you again, maybe you just didn’t hear me, so here goes, hello, again, are you o.k.?



I guess I could’ve saved myself some grief by answering but even someone like you hasta know that if you can’t even talk because you’ve gone tubular; how are you supposed to without looking or sounding like a…real dork.  I didn’t say nothing back again and just shook my head back and forth, side to side, which I guess was just wasn’t enough of what I was supposed to do because no sooner than I did came the bright remark of, “Well at least your not deaf!”

 

I faced away from the pest as best I could and stared bleary eyed at the red bricks in the wall and muttered “Listen Einstein, if you haven’t figured it out I’m not feeling too good and I just want to be left alone so go away and leave me be.”



“Sorry, can’t do that,” she shot back, “…because if I walk away and tell my mom that you’re still out here she’s gonna call the “super” and you just know that when old man “super Sam” gets here and finds you out there; not only is he gonna raise a big fuss with you, but everyone on the floor who’s listening in for anything else will find out even more about you.  I mean…about how and why your dressed now that is…or maybe not dressed is a better way of describing you.



I didn’t bother to tell her that I didn’t know who the hell “Super Sam,” was, at least not by name that is but before I could get a word in edge wise she went on.



“You know, even with their doors closed, I’ll bet that half the floor heard you getting it.  I know you were getting it from your mom because after the cop left I could still hear the whacks you were…I mean…I didn’t mean to listen but…I’m not a snoop if that’s what you’re thinking…it’s just that you almost get used to hearing all sorts of stuff…even the stuff your not supposed to hear because of all the yelling and screaming that goes on.  



“You sorta get used to listening for whatever.  But, if it makes you feel any better…I’m sorry that I heard you getting hurt.”



I thought to myself and said it out loud, “Whatever.  Doesn’t matter what you feel about me…all I know is…is that when you blab your mouth all over about me that I’m gonna be history.  Why don’t you make like a tree and leave.  I just wanna be…”



“You’re not very nice are you?”



“You’re nuts!  Why should I be nice to you?  I never asked you to bother me did I?  Nooooo.  You just hadda sneak up on me and…”



“I did no such thing,” she said, “… in fact, you’re the one who was sneaking past our door and tiptoeing all quick like you thought you wouldn’t be seen.  Too bad so sad but my mom put a mirror up on the kitchen wall so she could see who was at the front door while she was still in the kitchen; we always keep the door open in the summer ’cause it’s cooler with the breeze coming in from the hallway.  She wasn’t in the kitchen just now, I was, and I was sitting at the table coloring; looked up and saw you without even trying to.  So there smarty pants!   I wasn’t the one who was sneaking, you were!   Now, just for that I’m going to leave you alone and go tell my mommy on you, that’s what you wanted, right?  Now see what happens!”  And with that last bit of news miss nosy body was gone.



I didn’t try to call back and answer her, why should I.  I mean, after all, she was a girl…just another stupid girl who couldn’t even pee standing up let alone fight fair so I ignored her.  I guess two or three minutes went by and I hadn’t heard her voice bug me so I figured that the coast was clear enough for me to split.  Sorry to say it was just at that same time that I was getting ready to motivate that I hear her voice yakking away again talking to someone saying something like “Mom, don’t worry, I will,” and coming back at me from inside the hallway.  



And then before I could make my move I see a hand pushing its way out of the window.   and it’s holding a pink thing with lot’s a white fluffy stuff hanging all around its big sleeves and there’s that same stuff at the bottom of it too; and her voice is going a mile a minute telling me to “Here!  Put this on because my mom said you might want something to cover up with and for me to give you something to wear.  I grabbed my kimono, so here it’s.  And she tells me to tell you to come in off of that balcony this instant!  Oh, and that if you don’t come in off of it she’ll call the super on you!”



I didn’t say a word back to her because all I could do was stare at the thing she was holding out for me to take.  I mean there it was and she was just shaking back and forth like I was too blind to see what it was…a girl’s whatchamacallit.   All I could actually say loud enough for her to hear was “Uhh uhh…no way I’m wearing that.”



“Ohh,” she says back to me, “…that’s too bad but my mom said to give you something to wear besides your diapers. This is the only long piece I have out that won’t stink…the rest are put way…mothballed.  If you don’t want to wear it that’s fine with me but I guess that before I tell my mom that you won’t come in off the terrace that I’ll knock on the door to “D,” that’s where Laurie lives and ask her to keep an eye on you until “super Sam” gets here.  Maybe she can baby sit you, after all, you’re dressed for the part!  She’s a lot older than me, well, three years older any way.  But, my mom told me to make sure and tell you that if you don’t come in this instant that I can’t stay out here and talk with you any more.



“But you know if you wanted to talk to me…at least for a little bit…you could be inside someplace where you wouldn’t be found out.  I’ll bet you that’s why you’re hiding out there isn’t it?   Sooo?  Deal?  I’m waiting?  O.k.….suit yourself, I guess maybe you’d rather be seen just like you are now than just be safe inside where no one can see you…except for me that is.  You know, if it makes any difference to you, I wouldn’t say anything about you to anyone.  Honest Injun.”



I thought it over but I still thought that something was fishy.  I mean why would a girl want to talk to me because I sure didn’t want to talk to her.  She wouldn’t know a thing about boys’ stuff or running and how great it felt to just go out and punch someone in the snoot. She’d wouldn’t know a thing about which were the best Batman or Superman comics you could buy or the Screaming Blackhawks or the Tales From the Crypt comics that had just come out; not to mention Rubber Man, The Green Hornet and Cato or Captain Marvel or the Flash or the really neat Green Lantern, G. I. Joe or Captain America or anything about Adventures into Terror comics.



She just wouldn’t know which were the best tattoos to buy, or why or how to lick your arm and let  â€™em sit for two minutes before you pealed them off or which were the best indelible that you couldn’t wash off for days.  Or how you could just walk into Benny’s Fountain down on the corner and buys whichever ball you thought tested better by just trying to squeeze ’em, or even which brand was better:  a Spalding or a Second.  And I know for sure she’d be clueless about how to pitch for pennies or nickels or even dimes or quarters; or about collecting baseball cards and getting to smell them after you tore ’em open from the gum wrapper to see what you got and then getting to stuff your mouth full of gum and the great taste you got which was way better than Wrigley’s Gum, you know, the one with the tire tracks on ’em; or how to trade for better ones, or how to even flip cards or why you did it and as for playing off the wall or off the point or curb ball or stick ball and how when you really busted the ball how it would just fly off and egg all squiggly like in the air; forget about it.  Girls were too goody goody to collect Coke or Pepsi or R.C. Cola bottles and turn them in for cash so you could buy whatever you wanted.  I mean they couldn’t even roller skate down the hill whenever they wanted because of the dopey shoes that they always wore:  the ones that didn’t have thick souls on them so that when you put them on that no matter how hard you tried to tighten them up with your key that they wouldn’t stay on; no, they had to have special ones; skates that looked like little boots that had to lace up in the front.  Girls, all they could do was to play dumb jump rope or that lame hopscotch or Simon Says or Red Light-Green light or play hit the penny on the sidewalk with one of their girly red balls:  those games were for girls or sissies.  



Besides, I figured all that she’d know about would be dolls and dresses and crap like that…still…she was smart enough to figure out that I didn’t want to be seen but I sure didn’t want to put on that thing that she was still holding but…



“Well,” she said, “what’s it gonna be?  You wanta come inside or should I leave?  Hello?  Hello? Are you gonna answer me?”



I have to tell ya that not only wasn’t I gonna say a word to her but I was about ready to just shove her face back inside where it belonged and go someplace else:  except that at that second I knew that she’d probably not only tattle on me but also yell at me for shoving her which would mean that more snoopy people would be coming outside to see what the ruckus was all about.  Least wise that’s what I was gonna do until I heard her mother’s voice talking to her from inside the hallway and her answering back with “Yes he’s still out there and no he won’t wear what I got for him to cover up with.  I think he’s hard of hearing too because I told him a couple a times that you’d call super Sam if he didn’t listen but he’s still sitting out there.  Maybe he’s just dumb.”  



I didn’t catch all that her mother said back to her except that her voice seemed a lot closer than before when she said “Rebecca, tell him its almost lunch time and if he’ll be kind enough to come in off of that balcony that I’ll be happy to make hamburgers and French fries for you both and Becky please try not to be so bossy after all it is your kimono and not a proper boys bathrobe; if he’d rather stay in just his diapers then just let him, but tell him that I do not allow bare chests at my dinner table so it will either be that or something else which is suitable.  And Becky, threatening someone with a handicap is not ladylike; you know that I never told you that I would call Samuel Hopkins; I thought I raised you better.  If the shoe were on the other foot how would you feel?”



I guess that said it all for me; that this Becky girl tried to trick me, because some of the things she said weren’t true so I was right she was a sneak.  But that didn’t make me feel any better and I was just about to tell her off when there she goes again and starts to yak away at me with, “O.K. so I stretched the truth a little bit at least about super Sam…and well about me knocking on “D” and getting Laurie to baby sit you; I’d rather do it myself because you’re interesting, at least to me that is.  But mom is right about sitting down at the table, you won’t get to eat a thing unless you cover up and I don’t know whether you’re slow or not but there’s only my mom and me so that means that there won’t be anything to wear except for what’ll fit you of mine.  So, if you’re hungry and…



“You know you talk too much,” I said.  It wasn’t my bright idea to be dressed like I am but being the nosy body that you are you already knew that didn’t ya!  Well, I’m no sissy but…but…just shut up for a minute and let me think about this…and don’t answer me right away…this pink thing of a bob of yours is all that you could find?  I mean isn’t there anything else that…no that’s plain stupid…you’re a girl and all you’d have are girls clothes…so how about a towel?  That’d work wouldn’t it?  Well?”



“’Fraid not,” she said, “moms’ real particular about having bathroom stuff in the kitchen, so it’s either this or a blouse or a simple jumper with sleeves; but you can ask her for yourself but between the two of us I don’t care what you wear as long as I get to talk with you and look at you of course.   I haven’t had the chance to see a boy up close and with no clothes on except for you of course; well almost.  I mean, I remember when you went up to tar beach a couple of weeks ago with your grandma and she had you in nothing but your little boys underpants and after you went in the wading pool you stood up and I could see everything; because everything showed right on through.  Who knows, if you’re diapers are wet maybe I can watch you being changed.”



I was gonna tell her that that ain’t gonna happen but I was getting a real bad feeling about all this.  Not only about me being here with here now but also knowing that she had spied on me when I was up on the roof and that she’d probably heard my mom tell me not only to “Now, go outside and play,” but also her warning me that “If you have to go to the bathroom I better not find out that you went anywhere else except in what you’re wearing!”  Either way I didn’t think that things were looking too good for me so the choice, if I had one to make wasn’t all that great.



I reached out and kinda wanted to take the pink thingy from her.  It was kinda weird because she almost seemed to know when I reached out for it that I’d come in off the roof and go inside her apartment but instead of letting me take it from her right then and there all she did was pull it back away from me and tell me flat out “No, you come in from out there this instant, then, I will give it to you to put on.  I don’t want my good kimono ruined when you try to crawl back inside.  Oh, and by the way, you can ask me nicely if you can wear it or you can ask my mother, either way is fine with me.”



I mumbled to myself about her being a bitch and I was about to call her the “C” word but stopped myself.  As I was climbing back through the window I almost caught myself on one of its latches; backed off and then climbed back on through the rest of the way and was met with this Rebecca getting right in my face and asking me, “I believe that you have something to ask me but first I want an apology from you for being so rude to me.  You said I was nuts.  Well, I’m not and I don’t have any!  So there!”



I was just about to tell her off when her mother walks on out of her apartment and saves me with, “Rebecca S. McCandle, I’ve heard every word you’ve said.  You give that boy what you’re holding to wear right this instant and if I so much as hear you try to boss him around again you’ll regret it!  And you and I believe your name is Terry, will put that on, come inside my apartment and seat yourself at the kitchen table and if you so much as sass me you’ll regret it even more as well.  Now move the both of you!  Inside!”

[teddi]

She nodded to me one time and made sure to tell me right out, “You heard what I said, now move!”



After hearing her mother say that again I figured that I already had one licking and I wasn’t up for another one; at least not so soon.  So I admit it, I put that thing on and what was worse was that this Becky actually stood there and made sure that she watched me do it!  I mean come on!  She kinda smirked at me and was about to say something but I glared back at her when that grin hit her face; but I kept my mouth shut except for telling her “You go in first.”  She just shimmied her shoulders all girly like at me and went on in ahead of me after her mother made sure that I’d put it on.



I remembered from what she said that the kitchen’d be something really simple to find because no sooner had she walked six steps in; there it was all tucked away off on the right, right beside the hallway.   The dumbwaiter and steam pipe was right in the left corner as ya walked in with the same kinda grey paint that was on the one in my grandmas; it was even pealing though not as bad and there right on top of the dumbwaiters door was a mirror.   Right beside that and up against the wall was the table with some kinda halfass unfinished puzzle on it.    Like at my grandmas the gas stove was just about right up next to it and right up against the outside wall that had a big kitchen window in it.



Just off to the right of the window was the sink which had their wash tub pushed right up next to it and the ringer still had clothes in it which still hadn’t been finished being run through or hung out to dry out on the clothesline overhanging out the back courtyard.  I figured that most of the apartments except for two that I didn’t know jack about had clotheslines that went out the back kitchen windows.  And the reason I kinda figured that it was the same set up on each floor because each time I’d either go up or down those flights of stairs I’d sneak a peek outside and look out and around on the landings between the floors so I knew that at least as far as how the clotheslines were running that the one right in front of me was the one where my grandma’s kitchen window was.   And if your gonna ask me how the hell did I know that its because the stupid blue and white polka dot dress she always wore was still hanging on the line right outside her kitchen window.  She was hanging it out to dry just after getting it out of the ringer when we got there.  The other thing I saw was that if my mom was gonna hang any of my stuff that she brought over to wash out to dry she hadn’t done it yet; I guess that with me that that  shouldn’t have been no big surprise.



Anyhow the only real difference between the kitchens that I saw was that they had a brand new Kelvinator.  I mean this thing was really cool because you didn’t have to pay the ice man to haul the block-ice up the five flights of stairs holding it with some humongous tongs over a bag of burlap he’d strung over his back to put in the box.  So what I guess I’m telling ya is that all I was used to was an ice box that had no light in it that came on when ya opened the door.  I wondered if this one came with one of them neat little boxes that came with metal trays so that when you filled them up it made ice cubes; I thought that was pretty swank!



Anyhow, Becky’s mom looks right at me and tells me “You,” like that by now that she thinks that “You” should’ve really been my name, “take a seat while I make a phone call and if you so much as move you’ll get worse from me than your mother gave you.”  Of course all I can think of is “Ohhh crap not you too.”



I figured I didn’t have much of a choice so I pulled out a chair and sat my sore keester down while she went out into the hall and dialed up some number.   I tried my best to sit down all cool like but that kimbobo that I hadda put on before I could come in sorta had a mind of its own and got all tangled up in the back of the chair so I hadda get up to rearrange it to sit down again and that’s when this girl tells me all snotty like “You don’t even know how to sit down properly do you?  Well you don’t do you?”



As I’m thinking to myself “What the…” she goes on with, “Well if you’re not going to answer me I’ll just tell you.”  Of course I think to myself, “I’m sure you will.”  



And she does by going on by telling me “To sit down properly one must first close the kimono and then tie the sash, you do know what that is don’t you.   Well let’s take it for granted that you do…of course you could be really slow in which case I’m just talking to the wall.  But then again, if you’re smart enough to fasten the sash, what you do is to place both of your hands behind you and then as you sit gently hold the bottom of it against your legs and slid in while you sit.  See, it’s that simple.  



At that point I was really hoping that her mother would come back in and save me but

I knew that I was s.o.l. when I heard her tell “Becky, the party line is on again so I might be a while.  I’m listening so remember what I told you before:  be nice and please don’t torment him!”



While I was listening to Becky’s mom I ignored her pest the best I could and just sat back down without doing any of the crap that she said I should do.  I know she wanted to say something more about it but I guess my groan when I felt this stuff touch my skin kinda put her off.   I guess for some reason she understood that this stuff didn’t feel like any towel or bathrobe that you just threw on because it felt a whole bunch weirder every time you moved.



At that point I didn’t know what to expect from either of them and with not really having anywhere else to go I did what she said, I just sat there.  But boy did I feel trapped; so while I’m minding my own business I look at the box top that the puzzle came in and I guess maybe a couple of seconds went by with neither of us saying nothing until this red haired Becky girl pulls out another chair right beside me, sits herself down and starts off on me again with, “You know, you have long greasy nasty brown hair don’t you?  You do know that…well… don’t you?  If you don’t then you do.  You know what else?”  



I thought if I didn’t say nothing that she’d just give up and leave me alone but I should’a known better than to just shake my head “No,” because she keeps right on yakkin away with, “I’ll tell you what else.  It’s almost touching the collar on my kimono in the back and if it does your gonna be in trouble ’cause it’s mostly chiffon.  I knew I shouldn’t have given you anything good to cover up with ’cause you’re just a boy who’s probably got a load of cooties in his hair!  And don’t you dare touch that ooie-gooie stuff on your head with your fingers and then play with my puzzle; you’ll ruin the pieces!!”



I wanted to tell her shove it but didn’t instead I flat out told her, “Don’t you know anything about boys?  It ain’t grease Einstein it’s called Brylcreem.   It’s supposed to keep my DA* cool.  Jeez.  You know I didn’t ask you to give me this chipon bathrobe and I sure didn’t wanta put it on in the first place!  Its yours and it feels weird!  Besides it wasn’t my bright idea for me to be here now b’cause you’re the one who asked me to come in here; no that ain’t right, all I wanted was to be left alone, but nooooo, you gotta snoop around and poke that funny lookin nose of yours outta the window and ask me if I’m dumb or not because I don’t feel like talking to you!  You know I wasn’t bothering you but you sure are bugging me!  And for the record Alfred E. Newman I know how to do puzzles without ruining ’em like you are.”



I never really argued with a girl before, never had to; but the one thing I was sure of was that if I did that I’d lose ’cause girls don’t fight fair.  I mean they can call ya all sorts of names and stuff and they think that that’s just jake and then they go and do what this one was starting to do:  cry.  I mean, I’m thinking “what could I have possibly said that make her cry?”  I guess I didn’t have to break a sweat about figuring out what I’d said because she up and boo-hoos right out that “you think my nose is funny looking!” and starts to cry even more like there’s no tomorrow and with that just up and stomps off and leaves me sitting there.



Of course the first thing I think is “Great!” until the other thought hits me “no dumb ass not so great.  Her mom is gonna pulverize you.  Well, at least I got my new name right.”  Right then and there it might’ve been good to say something out loud and then get up and leave but before I could do either her mother is back in the kitchen so all I can do is close my eyes, half way tense up and wait for the belt that I know is coming to rock me across the back of my head; after all, that’s what mom would do to me.



Instead what I hear is the chair to my right being pulled out and then scooted in and her voice telling me “You can open your eyes now.”

________________

DA=ducksass=hairstyle of the fifty's

[teddi]

“And when you do, you can just look right at me and tell me the truth about something and if you know what’s good for you, it’d just better be the truth and only the truth.”  I kinda grin to myself as in the back of my mind I hear the anvil drop on the Mark VII and the music plays “Dah, dah dahnt dant” and wonder does she’s carry a badge marked 714.  



But I guess that when it came down to it that figuring out what was good for me was sorta like me ordering jumbo shrimp at Gregory and Paul’s on Coney Island when all they really have is franks, great fries, pizza, cold beer and stuff like that.  I guess what I’m trying to say is how in the hell am I supposed to know what is good for me when it’s obvious that what would really be good for me would be for me to be totally somewhere else, not bothered by anyone else and all by myself!



Anyway, I know I gotta be cool with whatever I say back, so I do what any guy would do in my place, except that there was no one else in my place.  So like Bogey or Cagney would I almost look at her but not quite and ask her straight out “Whut?” as if I’m really put out and bothered with it all and what whatever else she has to ask me.  You know it really bugs me when someone does that; asking me stupid stuff that is.  It’s none of their damn business and what right do they have to ask me anything anyway?   Besides, I mean, why waste any more of my words trying to figure out what some strange lady would want with ya when just one good one asking why’ll do.   Besides, I figure they’re all the same, girls, ladies and whatever, you know:  they’ll eventually get around to twisting your ear off and telling you off and giving you what for, so I ask ya, what difference would it make?



Anyhow I just sit there and don’t say nothing and sure enough there she goes again with “You really haven’t a clue do you” she says.  I din’t answer her ’cause she was right.  I din’t have a clue about what she was talking about so I guess I did what any smart wise guy would do, I played dumb.  So after a couple of seconds of her giving it a rest she went right back at with “Don’t you dare give me the silent routine, I asked you a question and I expect an answer.”  



Of course I could’ve chirped on back and looked at her like I was interested in whatever the hell it was she asking me about but I didn’t really care and that’s when I thought that it would hit the fan ’cause I looked straight at her and told her “Va la vite voi stessi.”* I didn’t flinch an inch and looked her dead in the eyes and waited for her to belt me across the chops and I even lifted my chin up and waited to take a few good ones.   She didn’t take the invitation; instead she just looked at me and to my surprise I almost thought I saw her smile and that’s when she started to talk to me again; but this time it was really different.



“You know, for being such a little wise guy you really don’t have a clue about what you just did do you?  Don’t bother answering.  First off, of all the things you could have said to Rebecca, telling her that her nose looked funny wasn’t too bright on your part.  It’s always best to complement a girl rather than insult her.  But for the record, the reason her nose looks the way it is, is because it was broken and she’ll have to have surgery to have it fixed.  And if by chance it’s now crossing your mind and you’re wondering how it was broken, a little hellion, much as yourself whose name is Kurt from up the block, pushed her face down onto the sidewalk downstairs just outside the first stoop to the building.”



I could’a said something back really smart except that even I knew that guys ain’t supposed to hit on girls:  at least not that way, instead I squinched up my nose like I’d just smelled a fart and whispered “What a butthead.  Guy’s ain’t supposed to do that to girls.  Besides no real guy wants to fight a girl.”



She says back to me, “Well he does and he doesn’t care who he hurts either.”



“So,” I say, “what’s that got to do with me?  I didn’t do anything.”  I left out one word…“yet.”



“What it has to do with you is simple, if you’re going to live in this apartment, sooner or later you’ll be playing downstairs out on the sidewalk or up on the corner and one day he just might walk up to you with some of his friends and then it just might be between you and him and them and then maybe you wont be so tough.”

 

I tossed my head back like a typical wise guy like I seen done a hundred times before and tell her “Yea, maybe, but I don’t think so.  I went on with “besides I gotta tell ya, my name ain’t “you.”  Ever since “you” seen me that’s all “you” call me:  â€œyou.”  I ain’t a “you” to “you” or nobody else.  And if it makes any difference, I ain’t dumb either!”  I waited for her to say something back at me but instead she don’t say nothing so I figure I might ask the obvious question that pops into my head right then and there so that’s when I look straight at her and ask all leery like “Why are you telling me that?”



“Just because I know that sooner or later you’ll run into him and… if it’s of any importance to you, Rebecca likes you though admittedly she has a strange way of expressing it; but, that’s the way she is and I love her for it.   For some reason she has a crush on you, but that, Terry, brings me to you, I never said you were…dumb; in fact, I think you’re just too smart for your own good and maybe just a little bit to quiet to boot.  



“Ohh don’t look so surprised that I know your name because that’s all I’ve heard from Rebecca since she found out that you were moving in.  Terry this, Terry that, Terry will be here soon and all she really wants from you is to be your friend.  Now that maybe I have your attention, I’d like the answer to a question.”



I didn’t answer but I did shrug my shoulders like maybe I’d answer if it were cool.



“Good,” she said, “Because what I have to ask you is very important.”



I didn’t answer but it was hard not to look like I didn’t care, so she went on with, “Terry, how did you get all of those bruises?”



Of course I didn’t answer because I was no stool pigeon!  But I think that by not answering her right away that that only made it worse because she starts pointing at me and telling me like they was something new that I didn’t already know about that was there that’d just popped up.  â€œTerry, at first when I went out into the hallway it was just to make sure that you would come in, but when I did, I couldn’t help but notice something important.  Even before you put on the kimono I couldn’t help but see that your covered with welts and bruises, all over your stomach and back, almost from head to toe, and I know that you didn’t get all of those from fighting other boys and I seriously doubt that the kimono can hide even the slightest of those which are just starting to fade; besides which, the new welts on your legs tells me that…”



She stopped for a second and then said, “That there maybe something that you’d like to tell me?  For instance, who did all of that to you?”



Like I said before, I ain’t no stoolie, so I didn’t say nothing.



“I see,” she said, it’s like that.  O.K. I understand so listen closely.  I’m asking that you simply sit here and be quiet.  Hopefully the party line will be through and I can make the call that I wanted to just a couple of minutes ago.”  She just looked at me all over for a couple of sec’s and then just said, “I knew I should’ve had a private line.  Well what’s done is done.  I’ll take care of that later.  It might take some time but I know some people who might be able to help.”  



And with that she got up and went into the hallway.  I could hear her dial up the number and after a while she started to talk to somebody about something that sounded like “even on a temporary basis?  You’re kidding me aren’t you.? Yes of course I’m sure…What paperwork?   What if she…Willingly? Really?  Hmm, yea I guess, but…no…not this one.  O.K. O.K.  I’ll clear it with her…and Stuart…you’re a doll, see you when you get…yea …”  



There was more but I couldn’t hear what all it was because Becky picked that time to just bop in and plop herself down right next to me again and starts to yakkity-yak away at me and drowning out her mom, by telling me that “I bet you’re not as smart as my mom thinks you are.”  I didn’t answer her because I didn’t have a chance to b’cause she keeps on going with, “If you are prove it.  See this puzzle,” she points at the table like I’m stupid, “there’s 360 pieces to it:  you do it!  If you’re so smart you take apart what you said I messed up and put it back together again!  It’s too hard for me to do so I’ll just sit here and watch you do it.”



I was gonna say something back at her but didn’t b’cause I was really trying hard to hear what her mom was talking about but I couldn’t hear another word except for her whispering like it was all a big secret or something.  Anyhow I kinda peeked at Becky and saw that she was still red eyed from crying and I kinda squinched up my nose at her and mumbled something like “Sorry about your nose, I didn’t know” and started in on tearing apart all the mistakes that she’d made by forcing pieces together; put those pieces off to the side and started back in on matching up the pieces that were really made for each other and lickety-split one by one the wooden pieces fell right into place with each other.  



I don’t know for sure how long we sat there but while we did she managed to skootch her chair a little closer to the one that I was in and I have to give her credit because while she sat there she didn’t say another word the whole time.  All she did was to lean in closer to me and before I even knew what was happening, I almost jumped outta my skin when she went and rested a hand all soft like on my shoulder.  All I could do was swallow back what spit was in my mouth and gulp it down; besides, for some reason I started to feel all tingly and was sorta nervous about getting up to move.



Anyhow like I said before I'm not sure about how long we sat there but I guess it was long enough for her mom to have finished up on the phone with what she was doing to come back in and find us sitting there together like we were friends or something.   I guess it was a kinda a good thing that I didn’t ruin it all because I never had many friends; especially one’s that were girls and those that I did have were only friends because they knew that I could pound ’em.  So I guess, sitting there and thinking about it, I really didn’t have any real friends at all.  What more could a guy ask for?



Well like I said, her mother comes back in and says “I’m surprised,” like having the puzzle of some coal black cat on an all black at night background almost done was some big deal, “I’ve left you two alone for fifty minutes and it appears that you two can get along…at least for a short period of time; will wonders never cease.”



Personally, I didn’t know what was so all great and wonderful about any of this; but I was about to find out because she says “I want you two to be the best of friends.”  



Well neither of us wasted anytime because “With him?” Becky says while at the same time I say “With her?” and just like we had it planned we both ask “Why?” at the same time and before either of us can get another word out we hear my mother yelling for me out and down the hall and all I can think of is “Ohh crap here we go again.”  I looked down at what I was wearing, which wasn’t all that much and right away I knew that I didn’t want to go back there again.

____________

*"go screw yourself"

[teddi]

I mean, why should I’ve wanted to?  Anyhow, it was at that point that I decided, come hell or high water, that I wanted no more of her:  I’d take the reform school she’d always threatened me with instead of being with her; so I just sat there figuring that sooner or later her kind of promised trouble would find me again and on that I didn’t have long to wait.  No more than a couple of seconds later she’s standing at the front door looking in at me, wagging a finger at me and screaming  â€œIf you know what’s good for you’ll get out of that apartment right now! If I wanted you to be inside somewhere else id’ve told you!”  



Like I said before, like what any smart wise guy would do, I played dumb and didn’t say nothing back to her.  I figured if she wanted me she could come right on in and drag my ass right on out by my ears.  I mean if Becky could be uptight about her nose, which didn’t look all that bad…but for a girl I guess it was…I should’ve been downright frantic about the way my ears looked to me with her pulling and yanking on ’em all the time…I kinda figured that after she’d get through with me that by the time if I ever grew up that I’d look more like Dumbo than some normal kid would.



Well anyway I guess with me not saying anything was a good move because Becky’s mom went to the door just a muttering up a storm in some foreign language that I’d never heard before just a hustling and a bustling and throwing her hands up all around like she was swatting flies.  She kinda looked like a the Tasmanian Devil cartoon tornado I’d seen one time when I went to see the Wizard of Oz at the Lowe’s; and that was pretty neat because when you opened the door to go in they had something called air-conditioning.  Well, she closes the door behind her but not before she remembers my first name and tells me “You stay put!” and no sooner than she’d gone out, than Becky jumps up from right beside me and follows her out there too; of course, before she leaves she’s just hadda turn around and tell me “Your mothers got my mothers Irish up and she won’t be the same for a while so you stay right here and don’t you dare move.”  I hafta admit that that’s the first time that I ever listened to some girl the first time that she ever said anything to me.  Thinking about it now, I guess you could say I was lucky.



Anyhow, naturally, there’s all sorts of yelling going on outside the door; sometimes it got loud enough to understand that they were cussing at each other out about and what they were saying but some of the times when it got real quiet and that’s when inside me I kinda got all nervous because I knew that almost anything would be better than to be back in 5-A alone with her.   And just sitting there when it all came down to thinking about what I really wanted I knew anything that might come along would be better; it’s just that I never figured that that anything would really change for me all that much.



Sure, I could tell ya that right then and there that I wasn’t worried…but I was.  And I could tell ya that after sitting there all alone listening to the screaming and hollering coming through the door that my stomach didn’t turn all upside down and get all pukey like…but it did.  And I guess I’d hafta admit that just hearing some of the things that my mom screamed out didn’t make me feel rotten…but I’d be lying there too; especially now thinking about the fact that after I looked down into the courtyard from the terrace and wondered about those five flights and what it’d be like to just do it and if not doing it just made me into a sissy chickenshit ’cause I didn’t have the guts to just go and drop off the edge to get away from her forever and ever.  



How long I sat there after it all got quiet I guess it was like fifteen or twenty minutes tops but for some reason through it all I didn’t finish the puzzle; instead I just sat there waiting, figuring that sooner or later I’d find out…and I did.  Becky’s mom, Mrs. McCandle came in through the door fuming like gang busters just as mad and as p.o.’d as I’d ever seen any another woman, except for my mom that is, scowling and mumbling under her breath something like “Do bhrigh bragart rag lamaranta bonn bruich…iargalta olfhainn biddy (that stubborn pig headed half-baked…whiskered surely old biddy).”  Erin go Bragh there ought’a be a law!  Gonadh (Damn)…some people are… gu lèir imleagach (totally impossible) and I just met me one!  She’s probably a Democrat and  works for the government!”*



She walked straight into to where I sat and sat herself down and just stared at me then said “Now I see where you get it from!  You’re both just like two peas in a pod and god help you both because you’re both as stubborn as a jackass with just half a brain and but one thing on its mind.”  



“…ohh hell and damn…I can see it on your face that you heard her.  Terry, she’s more than upset and probably didn’t mean half the things she said… so I suggested…uhm…well…no that be telling you a lie and I won’t be lowering myself to bend the truth even a wee bit…not now.”



“So, your mother, for some reason thinks its best that she impresses upon you the fact that she … that you and her …don’t get along all that well…she says you curse and fight at the drop of a hat and always go off your own to do whatever it is that you do and won’t talk to her.  Looking at you though I can’t say that I blame you for all of it…takes two to sour the milk pudding.”



She sat there all quiet and looked at me for just a couple of seconds then asked me “Well, aren’t you going to ask me anything about what we’ve set on and what I’m leading up to?”  



I just shrugged my shoulder and shook my head one time because I knew it was tough being a tough guy but I did feel kinda stupid when I gulped down what cotton was in my mouth because I knew that only a sissy would swallow back and show someone else how nervous he was and I was no sissy and I had the skinned knuckles to prove it.  



Just before I was gonna open my mouth and say “No” I hear her say “Terry, she wanted to send you straight off to reform school and was getting ready to call them to come and get you.  We walked down the hallway arguing and cursing each other all the way and I know you heard some of it; but not all.   That’s probably for the best because Rebecca heard everything that we went on about and what she did and before I could say a word and stop her she ran off down the stairs to somewhere…I don’t know.



 â€œYou know…I’ve never been in a proper donnybrook but your mother…hmmm…well…given some of the things she said to me she might’ve had something else to think about, like my Irish temper, besides you.   Fortunately your grandmother was able to calm her down a bit; but for how long who knows, but well, let’s say that after some quiet discussion and a proper legal threat or two on my part that she agreed that you both need some time away from each other…to let the dust settle so to speak.  What we’ve agreed to is a little time away from each other for you both to calm down and maybe some of your bruises will fade away…so for the next week you’ll be staying here.  



“Would you like that?  Well are you going to say anything to me or are you going to keep on playing the strong silent type with the devil may care attitude that isn’t fooling a soul?”



“I can see on your face,” she went on “that you don’t want to go home now; but Terry, for so many people “Home is the place when you have to go there they have to take you in.”  Unfortunately for you, right now, your mother may prove to be the exception to that.”



“She wants me dead,” I said ‘and then the problem would be solved for both of us.”



She gave me the once over and acted like what I said was something really important which I guess in a way it was because the next thing I know she asks me right out of the blue “You read?”  



“Duhh, do you?” I said snidely.  â€œOf course I can read.  I told ya, I ain’t stupid.”



“How old are you?” she says.  â€œOld enough to read, why, what’s it to ya?” said I.  



“Fair enough,” she says “what else do you read besides Robert Frost?”



 â€œWhat’s it to ya?  If it’s any of your bee’s wax  I read whatever I can and if you’re gonna ask me why…just because I like to, that’s why, besides I like books too, so there.”



“I’m afraid that won’t do,” she says, “Why not?” I said.



“You have to have a reason because no little boy your age that I know has ever read anything written by a poet; except for nursery rhymes and as for books, that’s laughable.”



“I guess you don’t know many little boys my age then do you?”



 â€œNo wonder your mother can’t handle the likes of you;  both like water and oil.  Not only are you a roughian and rudely impudent but your smart as well.  Unfortunately, right now, you don’t dress the part do you?”



“I don’t care what you think, besides, I didn’t ask for…”  â€œNo, your right, you didn’t, now hush.  I apologize, what you read is your own business and as for how you’re dressed well I’m afraid that that too is something which you will have to deal with and none to soon I’m afraid.



“If it were all up to me I might be willing to let some things pass; especially with what’s pinned around your waist but it’s not and for the record it’s not for me not trusting you but someone else who might be getting ideas.”



“What’re talking about?”



“Straight and to the point…so you’re quick as well…maybe you’ll understand.  Now before you say another word let me explain the terms and conditions of your temporary separation”  she said as she pulled her hand across her lips signing me to “zip it.”  I was waiting for her to throw away the key but instead she just put it on the table in front of me.



“Now, she began, “for the record, your mother thought that putting you in diapers would keep you out of trouble…well…if you were locked up in some dungeon someplace or out on a farm somewhere with no one around, maybe it would’ve worked but not here.  I tried to tell her that it’s a rough neighborhood and that would only make matters worse…hmmm…but it’s almost like for some reason that she wanted you to get the tar whaled out of you.  



“Maybe she thought it change you.  Me…I don’t think so.  I think you’d rather…look over a ledge and think about something else…getting away.



“You see,” she said, I might not know many boys your age but do understand some things which are best left unsaid, besides it’d be a sin.



“Now where was I, oh yes, of course, we went back and forth, you probably heard some of that in between her calling me a Mick and me calling her a stupid …ahhh… I admit, she almost got my goat right then and there…so I kept a civil tongue about me…well…mostly…and I won’t bore you to tears with it all but boils down to this.

[teddi]

“It’s not a pleasant thought Terry and I’m sorry about the situation, but all you have left in the world is what you’re wearing now and more of the same.  That beastly woman who dares call herself your mother has gone and tossed everything else of yours into the dumbwaiter and rang for it to be dropped and I would imagine that by now Sam has gone and emptied the lot down  the garbage chute or hauled it all to the alleyway  trash to be collected.  She made a special point of telling me “Don’t bother looking” because she cut up all of your clothes so that their so much as useless rags so “not even the ragman” who calls on the street “could use them.”  I wish I could stop there but she went on about your books, baseball cards and even your comic book collection too  â€œTell him they’re all gone as well” she said.



All I could do was sit there and I guess it didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell anyone that the look on my face said “I can’t fuc-k’n believe this shit!”  I closed my mouth and didn’t say a word because all I could think of besides me sweating was not only didn’t I have a stitch to wear but that all of my special comics and the stash that I’d taped to the inside of some of their pages and some of my books too, or to the back of a few of my extra special cards, was gone and that I was stuck here and couldn’t do a damn thing about it unless I was willing to take the chance of running down five flights of stairs and then going through all of the smelly garbage to try and find everything that mommy dear had thrown away.  I could just see myself sinking up to my waist wading and sweating in that smelly mess holding my nose with all the smelly glop and slimy gooey crap that was there sticking to me and …



“Terry?   Terry?  Have you heard a word I’ve said?”



“Yea yea, I just need to get outta here real fast but I can’t go like this!  Please, don’t ya have anything that I can wear that isn’t for a girl?  If I hafta I’ll even wear shorts!”



“’No, ’fraid not, but Rebecca has several dresses or outfits that in a pinch would probably fit you.  You could slip into them quite easily but she has nothing that even begins to pass for boys clothes; and as for her shorts, neither a girl nor a boy in this neighborhood would wear them out and about unless they were looking for trouble.   Terry, around here, just like long pants, good girls only wear shorts inside their home, per the norm, except to the beach, outside they only wear dresses; so if you want I’ll get either and you can wear it, but tell me, why do you want to go out now and where would you go in such a hurry?  



“Nuh uh! No way that I’d wear her clothes!”



“But didn’t you just say that you’d wear her shorts?  Besides if you want to go out you’d need a blouse too.”



“No I wouldn’t ‘cause I’m a boy not a girl!  Besides all I’d need then would be a “T” shirt.  Look, you don’t understand! I’ve got some really important things inside some of my comics and books and other stuff that I just gotta get to!   I don’t care what happens but I gotta go! ”



“Well that’s what you say now but what are you going to use for clothes?  Besides, what happens if you go out and get yourself caught wearing nothing else but a diaper…how far do you think you’ll get then?  Come now, there’s no need to rush out; you can always replace what she’s gone and thrown away now later can’t you?  Right?”



I didn’t answer her for a couple of reasons which were none of anybody’s business.



“Well, am I right?” she asked again.  â€œThey make thousands of comics and books… you can always go and buy more later on.  But I’ll be asking you, why are you more concerned with comic books and the like when I would think that it be the clothes that would concern you now especially when you’ve really nothing to wear?  So I’ll ask the question again, what’s so important about them?”



“They’re just mine…it’s all personal…that’s all.”

   

“Hmmm…so you’re telling me that a smart lad such as yourself would dare risk going out and trudging through piles of putrid garbage for some books and ten cent comics?  Something doesn’t ring true…it has a certain smell to it.  Now then, that being said, Terry, if you really need to go out and make a complete fool of yourself, be my guest, but understand that once you leave this apartment that I won’t come down stairs looking for you or the trouble that will find you.  Now, if you’ve a mind too I'll get some of Rebecca’s clothes and you can try them on or you can just get up and go and see just how far you’ll get dressed just like you are.”



I inch-wormed up in the seat but didn’t get to far off of it thinking about the stuff she said.  She was right, at least about one thing, that if anybody caught me in girls’ clothes or worse yet just diapers that they’d need a blotter to pick me up.  I didn’t say anything, why should I’ve?  Besides, after a couple of seconds I figured that she’d start talking to me again and I was right; but I hafta admit that with my head hanging down that I tried to wipe my face dry because my eyes had started leaking thinking about so many things.  Somewhere along the line in-between me thinking of books, comics, clothes and cards she handed me a folded paper napkin and said “Here, use this” and then she went on with “Don’t worry, you can always get more comics and books but as for your clothes, well, right now, except for what I have on hand of Rebecca’s, your stuck in what you have on.  All the department stores including Woolworth’s are closed for the weekend and neither Macy’s nor Gimbels will open their doors come Monday at nine in the morning.



“Terry, somewhere along the line we can find something that will fit you; with a little bit of work here and there, you’ll fit right in and no one will be the wiser.”



“Yea right that’s just great besides I’m not stupid everyone’ll know” I said but I should’ve already known better about what she was thinking; but I didn’t.  What I was really thinking of about was my mom…why should I want to call her that…I mean…she’s nothing special to me…not now anyhow…I think…if I’m a “you”… to her… then just “her,” or “she,” or maybe even “it” will do for her.  



I turned away from facing Becky’s mom…I mean no real boy wants to sit like a baby and cry in front of anyone let alone let ’em watch you while you do it.  I guess she took the hint and moved a chair to sit along side me and for a couple of minutes she didn’t say a thing to me…she didn’t have to.   Besides when she did start to talk to me all I could do was just sit there and listen.  The thing was that before she did she gave me another napkin and said “Here, you might need another before I finish” and boy was she ever right.



“Terry, your mother and I have struck a bargain and for the life of me if it were up to me it would be otherwise so listen closely.  As I said before, for the next two weeks you’ll be staying here with Rebecca and me; that much you already know.   What you don’t know is that I have certain friends who deal with cases involving both permanent parental custody and temporary placement in foster homes; that was the phone call I made earlier; my friend is beginning to process the paperwork as we speak.  Your mother wasn’t at all happy about it but has agreed, reluctantly so, to have me named as your custodial supervisor.  It was either that or have both of you wind up in custody; you as a ward of the Borough and her in the local precinct cell for abuse.  A little threat in some instances goes a long way.



“That much being said it actually serves both of your needs, at least on a temporary basis; it gets you away from her and vice-versa.  Besides, your grandmother told me that your mother actually needed someone to look after you on a short-term basis.  You see, the reason that you’re moving here is because your grandmother has a health condition which requires her to move to a warmer climate so your mother is taking her to Florida for her health and she will be gone for at least two weeks.   When she gets back we’ll see what happens then; but until then, you are now my responsibility.   Anything to say about that then?”



I just shook my head “No” and kept on wiping my eyes and maybe sniffled a couple of times thinking that unwanted shoes and clothes are always given away and like them that I wasn’t much better.  Besides, I all of a sudden felt like I was like a chocolate Easter rabbit…all hollow inside.



“Well then Terry, here is the rest of it, besides all of this, for you  it doesn’t end there; in fact, in the short term I don’t envy  you…no…not at all…and it goes back to the way you’re dressed.  You’re a boy and Rebecca's a girl so I need a certain sense of security, peace of mind where the both of you are concerned and that’s what you’re wearing now will help with.  Protection.



“Remember I told you before that while I might trust you that I couldn’t fully trust another.  I meant my Rebecca who is a couple of years older than you but who most certainly has certain ideas about the moving parts of your lower anatomy which I would much rather be kept pinned away and under wraps from her roaming hands; unless of course, you were both properly supervised.  So, I’ll need to ask you, are you regular?”



For the life of me I didn’t know what she was talking about or leading up to so I just shrugged my shoulders and said “Yea sure,” I said, “I’m just a regular guy I guess, why?”  



“You don’t understand” she said back to me with a smile but all serious like, “What I meant was do you go to the bathroom and have a sit at a regular time in the morning or afternoon or does the urge just strike you and I don’t mean what a boy can do standing up.  That much I understand about boys.   You see,” she went on, “me or her changing a wet diaper on you together in the morning or afternoon is one thing…but changing a smelly one is something quite different and right now that’s something I won’t put up with.”



“Wait a second, you can’t be serious!  I don’t need diapers and you can’t make me wear ‘em either! And as for you or her changing me…forget about it!”



“Well, we’ll see about that especially since you have nothing else to wear except what you have on right now and all of the others which are heaped in a pile outside the door down the hallway.   So tell me, how will you go about it?  What else are you going to wear and where are going to go and who will even begin to look after you?    



“Terry, understand,  I know you don’t need diapers and if there were another way to keep the lower half of you off of Becky’s mind without them it’d be done; but given the situation with you being here and her wanting to investigate every inch of your body, things could get out of hand quickly.  So I’m afraid that there’s no other solution; besides, it’s only for the next two weeks.  Just remember when you have to sit it better be for the second of two things otherwise you’ll be cleaning the mess up yourself and getting your bare fanny blistered over my knee with an audience to boot.”



“Look,” I said, “I don’t need diapers and I won’t wear ‘em and I won’t use them!!”



“So why are you wearing them now?”



“I didn’t have a choice she just put ‘em on me!”



“Terry, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.  You haven’t a choice in the matter; I’m bigger than you or your mother and I could do the same thing but I won’t.   You either wear them and use them as an accommodation of staying here or you’ll be someplace else;  and starting off by wearing them just the same; at least here you’d be safe.  You aren’t in much of a position to bargain; besides, those are part of my terms for staying here.  Now, will you take it or leave it?  You decide.”



“You mean you got more than just that?  What else is there?”



“You’re a smart lad haven’t you already figured it out?  I haven’t the money to pay for sets of new clothes for you and I won’t be risking what I have saved on the chance that sooner rather than later not only would you be taking off for parts unknown but also that if you were to go back to your mother that in all likelihood she’d cut them all to shreds again.  So here’s the last of my set of conditions; you simply wear what is on hand and make no attempts to either run away or refuse what you are given to wear which are Rebecca’s hand me downs.  That way, you’re covered and I’m fairly certain that if you did think of running away it would make you think more than twice.”



“Lady you’re crazy!  There’s no way that I’d wear her stuff!”



“So you say now and I’m sure that you’re sincere…but what say you sit and think about it for a while of what will happen if you leave here in just diapers when they either come to take you away or find you out on the street roaming about.  When the word gets out, and it will, what do you think will happen to you?  



“Now, what say you just sit there and think long and hard while I busy myself making lunch?  Sooner or later Rebecca will be back from wherever it is she ran off to then together you both can have a bite to eat before you make your final decision.  Is that o.k. with you?



“I’ll even leave the door open so if you decide to go off on your own I won’t be stopping you; and Terry, falling five flights onto a sidewalk below is no way to run away from what your facing.”



I could have gotten up and left but she was right.  I couldn’t go out in just diapers and get pounded by whoever found me and then wind up somewhere else, wherever that was, worrying about whether or not that later in the day that I’d be eating lunch through a straw.  I was trapped.  She knew it and so did I.  I turned myself around in the chair and watched her fix the lunch she promised and right off I knew that one part of me said “It’s going to be a lot better than what she ever made for you; while the other parts in my head kept telling me…run.  They lost.  I was hungry and tired…of lots of things…so I just closed my eyes and smelled the smells that made think if only things had been different.



That’s when I heard her humming a tune then whispering the words almost to herself but I think she was doing it really for me so my eyes started to leak even more as I heard her start off by say something all soft like “Ahhh, yes Tura Lura Lural”  and then I heard all the words that I still remember.  She began with….



“Over in Killarney,

Many years ago,

Me mither sang a song to me

In tones so sweet and low.

Just a simple little ditty,

In her good ould Irish way,

And I’d give the world if she could sing

That song to me this day.



"Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,

Too-ra-loo-ra-li,

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,

Hush…now don’t you cry!



"Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral

Too-ra-loo-ra-li,

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,

That’s an Irish lullaby.



"Oft, in dreams I wander

To that cot again,

I feel her arms a huggin’ me

As when she held me then.

And I hear her voice a humin’

To me as in days or yore,

When she used to rock me fast asleep

Outside the kitchen door.

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,

Too-ra-loo-ra-li,

Too-ra-lo-ra-loo-ral,

Hush…now don’t you cry!



"Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,

Too-ra-loo-ra-li,

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral,

That’s an Irish lullaby*”



Somewhere towards the end she had sat down beside me and with her hands on my shoulders pulled be close to her, gave me a hug and let me cry.  I wanted to stay.

__________________

*Written…1913 by James Royce Shannon