Ask Harriet: Hypnotized!

[Alana]

He was in such a good mood, he was even feeling charitable towards Ron. He thought that maybe Melissa was right, and he should patch things up with Ron. He even thought that maybe he should've told the girls that thing that Ron said, that joke about Sylvia being a man. They'd all get a good laugh about it. He should've trusted them not to make fun.

A man. Insulting as it was, the very idea was so ridiculous that he felt silly being mad about it. He'd never thought about it before, but he was so glad he was a woman. He loved the feel of lipstick on his lips and nylons on his legs. He loved buying a new dress and twirling in it. Of course, he sometimes had the urge to do some things that might be considered a little masculine, like going to the fights or smoking a cigar. But there was no reason a woman couldn't do those things. And there were so many things men weren't allowed to do. Wearing dresses wasn't the half of it. Melissa had said she was only hiring a woman to write the "Ask Harriet" column, and there was no problem with saying that. If anyone were to say they were only hiring men for a job, it had better be working in a Men's locker room.

Of course there were things about being a woman that were less than pleasant. That reminded him, he had to get some new tampons. He didn't have a single tampon in his purse.

He wondered what had become of Jack Cody. They lived together, and he hadn't been seen for more than a day. He was usually unreliable, but not this unreliable. He hadn't moved out. All his clothes were still there. Oh well, he'd show up eventually.

The next day, Sylvia came up to Ron, who was just standing around finishing his coffee. Sylvia wore his dark blue dress cut tight across the bosom. It had a teardrop shaped cutout at the neck. He was clutching his purse and had his coat draped across his arm.

"Ron, we need to talk," he said.
   

[Alana]

"Oh hi, Sylvia. So you're not ignoring me today? Nice dress."

He looked down at the dress he was wearing and said, "Never mind that. I want to put an end to this silly fight we've been having. I was being immature. I shouldn't behave like this. I'm a grown woman."
   

[Alana]

"Well, you're half-right, anyway."

"What?"

"Never mind. Continue."

"If you want to be just friends, I should respect that. Really, the only reason I ever made the offer in the first place is because I thought it was what you wanted."
   

[Alana]

A beautiful woman, a real one, walked by, and Ron's attention wandered a little bit.

"Ron, would you please be so kind as to not stare at other women when we're having a conversation?"
   

[Alana]

"I thought you wanted to be just friends?"

"That doesn't mean you have to be rude. Besides, she's nothing much. If you have to stare, at least stare at a woman who's prettier than I am. What has she got that I haven't got?"

"It's more what you've got that she doesn't that concerns me."
   

[Alana]

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. You never believe me anyway, so forget it. Wanna do something tonight? Just as friends?"

"I can't tonight. I've got a date."

"A date?"

"With Johnny the photographer. From the print ad."

"But you can't have a date!"

"You are just full of compliments today, aren't you?"



"Sylvia, I'm not kidding, you have to call and cancel your date! At least move it to some other time!"

"Oh, so now I'm taking orders from you, am I? So you won't have me but no one else gets to have me, is that it?"



"At least promise me you're not going to try to have sex on the first date."

"In what world, in what universe is that any of your business, Ron? You know, I've tried to give you a chance, but you are being just a mean little creep! Why are you so set against this date?"

"Because you're a man!" he whispered desperately. "You won't believe me, but I swear it's true!"

"Alright, that's it! I know you think that's just a cute little joke, but I swore I would never speak to you if you said that to me again, and that is it! I have had it with you, Ron! Goodbye!"
   

[Alana]

He walked away angrily, tugging down his skirt as he went. Ron called after him, but he wouldn't stop or even look back.

That evening, Sylvia went back to his apartment and got dressed for his date. He didn't wear his black lace top, just a regular low-cut top, but he did put on his sexy black miniskirt. When he came out of his bedroom he was rather surprised to see Ron sitting there, waiting for him.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in here?"