A sequel to "I Won't Take Off My Dress."
My first experiment going out in public in a dress didn't go so well. I guess I should've tried it someplace else, any place other than the conservative C. of E. church I attend.
I expected there'd be trouble, but I thought at least they'd let me get through one service in a dress before making a row. I showed up in my pretty lavender dress, and several people recognized me at once. And it was no time at all before the minister showed up, along with several rather angry looking men from the board of deacons.. He wanted to know what I thought I was playing at, and I politely asked if we could postpone that conversation until after the service. He made it quite clear that he'd put up with no such nonsense in his church, and that I was to leave immediately, by force if necessary.
Well, I couldn't see getting into a physical altercation and possibly ripping my pretty lavender dress. I loved that dress. So I left. I went home and cried.
But I was determined not to give up. The next day I put on a rather conservative, businesslike black and white dress, and went to work. I might as well start with a simpler dress and work my way up to some of my more girly frocks. When I arrived I created quite a stir, but at least most of my colleagues didn't seem to be too angry about it. They were amused, as though it were all a big joke of some sort. Well, let them laugh. They can't laugh forever. Eventually they'll get used to me.
Then my boss showed up and took me into his office directly. He took out a big white binder from a file cabinet and opened it up.
"We're well prepared for this sort of situation, here," he said.
"Glad to hear it."
"Though I wish you'd talked this over with me first." He scanned a page, and asked, "Now, what it the estimated date of your surgery?"
"What surgery?"
"Don't waste my time, Chris. Just answer the question."
"Crissy."
"Whatever. Answer the question."
"There's no surgery."
"No surgery?" He slammed shut the binder. "No sexual reassignment surgery? Then what the hell is this? Why are you wearing a dress?"
"I just would prefer to wear dresses."
"You just would prefer to wear dresses. I see. In that case, we don't have to be understanding about this at all. You can stay in that dress for the rest of the day, but that's it. Tomorrow you work from home, but Wednesday you're back in a suit."
"What if I'm not?"
"Well, then I guess you'll be made redundant."
"Oh, come on. Let's be reasonable. If you sack me I'll just have to sue, and that'll be expensive for both of us. And I won't help you train a replacement."
"Chris, plenty of chaps have got it into their heads that they're indispensable just because they've been here a long time. You'd be amazed how quickly you can be replaced."
"What exactly is the worst possible thing that could happen because I'm wearing this dress?"
"You'll make everyone uncomfortable. This is very disruptive behavior."
"How about you give me a couple weeks in dresses, and I'll show you it's not disruptive. People will get used to me, and no one will care any more. You'll see."
He furrowed his brow and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Fine. Fine. But only one week. Let's get this over with. At the end of the week, everyone in the company will vote, except for you. No abstentions. And I must insist on a two thirds majority. If everyone is fine with working with Dame bloody Edna Everage, I'll look the other way."
"I suppose that's fair. But I don't want to work from home any more. That was just an excuse to do some work in a pretty dress."
"You will continue to work from home two days a week. That arrangement works nicely for all of us."
"Oh, all right. Fine. One thing, though. I think it would be less disruptive if I could use the Ladies loo. It might make the lads uncomfortable to see me in the Gent's."
"Well, I think the ladies might have something to say about that. We'll see. I'll check with them."
"We're about the same size, aren't we? By Friday I'll have lots of suits I'll never wear again. Male clothes. You can have them, if you want."
He smiled.
"Trying to buy my vote?"
"Whatever works, as the Americans say. Good morning."
I thought of adding that he was free to borrow one of my pretty dresses, if he'd rather wear that. But why ruin the good effect already achieved?
I went back to work. My boss send out a company-wide email explaining the whole situation, and asking if any woman had any objection to me using the Ladies room. Only one woman objected, a secretary named Lauren. I went right to her cubicle.
"What the hell, Lauren?"
"Don't you attack me, you bloody pervert! I don't have to give you any reason!"
"Please! I don't want to have to use the Gent's dressed like this."
"No one told you to put on a bally frock, you weirdo!"
"How would you like it if they made you use the Gent's?"
"Oh, sod off! Leave me alone!"
I held out as long as I could, then finally I went to the Gent's. I only encountered one man there, but I could tell he was uncomfortable. He was at the urinal, and he was startled when he saw me. He made a move to cover himself up a bit, as though I was just dying to see his twig and berries. At least he didn't say anything.
I came home feeling completely discouraged. I guess I was naïve to think everyone would just embrace the new girl in the office and be happy for me. I dropped my purse on the floor and took off my glasses as I came in the door.