Substitute Teacher 2: Showing My Frillies

[Alana]

"OK, girls, let's get back to dic-kens."

But it still took a few minutes before they all quieted down.

Imagine what that would've been like at a boy's school! I didn't even want to think about it. But at a boy's school I would've been much more careful and on my guard, so I doubt it would have happened. At Sapperstein there didn't seem to be any lasting ramifications from the slip-up ( if I may call it that ). The girls didn't seem to lose any respect for me.

When I got home, Annie had already started making dinner. I helped her. We stood there in the kitchen in our dresses, working side by side, silently. She was still angry at me for wearing her dress.

When I sat down to eat, she said, "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Take off my dress."

"What for?"

"What for! Because you're not a woman, you idiot! You only have to dress like a woman at work."

"Oh, let me wear it a little while longer. What's the harm?"

"It's my dress, and I say you take it off right now!"

"No."

She stood up and yelled, "Take off my dress!"

I stood and reached behind her back and started to unzip the dress she was wearing.

"What are you doing?"

"You said to take off your dress, I'm helping you take it off."

"Stop it!" She reached behind her and zipped herself back up "Do you think that's funny?'

"If you get to have dinner in a dress, so do I."

"Fine! Keep my dress on, little Miss Girly Girl! Wear it in good health! I hope you meet a nice guy in it, and I hope you marry him! I'll be your maid of honor. And I hope I catch the bouquet so I can get married to a real man, instead of a little sissy who wears pantyhose and prances around in my dresses!"

"I don't understand why you have to be so mean."

"Oh, go soak your nylons!"

She left, and slammed the door on the way out. I slept in the guest room that night.

The next day I put on a cute little black and white dress, all covered in stars. It had an adorable Peter Pan collar. I'd been longing to wear that dress ever since I first saw Annie in it, and now I finally had an excuse.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes heavenward, as though there was nothing she could do about it. And there wasn't.

"Thank God we don't have any children," she said. "Think if you had a son. Imagine how ashamed he'd be of you right now, walking around in my dresses, wearing a bra and a girdle and a slip."

"Shall I remind you again that this was your idea, originally?"

"If your father could see you now!"

"Which one?"

"Oh that's right, you have two fathers. That explains so much about you."

"Annie, I don't understand why you're so threatened by all this."

"Oh, right. I'm the one with the problem. You're normal, and I'm a freak because I don't want my husband to wear dresses."

There was nothing to be gained by arguing, so I got out of there.

In the morning, the Principal came up to me in the hallway. It seems he'd been loitering around close to my classroom with that very intention. I wondered if he'd heard about the little incident of the day before. Me showing my frillies.

"Hello, Mrs. Williams. That's a very pretty dress you're wearing. Very nice Peter Pan collar."

"Thank you, Mr. Compson," I said, coyly playing with my skirt a little. I couldn't help it; I was just feeling so girly in my cute little dress.

[Alana]

"Jason, please."

"Well, then I guess you will have to call me Annie."

"OK. Sure. Annie, it seems I'm in a bit of trouble. My secretary just called in sick, and I have several important letters that have to be out this evening. Now, I did a little research on you and found out that one of the things you teach is shorthand."

"Yes."

That much was true. My wife and I both knew shorthand, and we could probably make much more money doing secretarial work if we weren't born teachers.

"I know it's an imposition, but could you stop by my office today at three o'clock and take some dictation? Then the letters would have to be typed. It might take a few hours."

"Well---not for free."

"No, of course not. I'll make sure you get paid a few hours of overtime."

"Well, it's a bit unconventional. I'm a teacher, not a secretary."

"I would consider it a personal favor."

"Well, when you put it like that, how can I refuse?"

"Great. See you then."

"And I must say, sir---Jason---I haven't run into all that many men who know what a Peter Pan collar is."

"One of the many things you learn when you're the only man working in a building full of women. Excuse me."

He left, and I headed on to class. I thought to myself that the principal probably had his own reasons for wanting to meet with me alone after school, and they probably had more to do with looking at my legs than dictation. He was definitely a leg man, that one. Which was just as well, because I wasn't very well endowed in the other area. My wife was only a B cup, and if I was going to wear her bras I couldn't be more than a B cup, either.

Oh, well. It was just a little innocent flirtation between the principal and me. Just fun. I might as well have some fun during my brief time as a woman.

That day at class it happened again. I can only blame it on the fact that there seemed to be no ramifications from showing my frillies the last time. No complaints, no criticism, no smart-ass comments from any of the girls. So I got careless. Again.

They showed just a little, at first.

[Alana]

But I was wearing a much looser skirt than the day before, and during a tense passage I pulled the book closer to me, accidentally pulling my skirt and my slip with me. My frillies showed even more.

[Alana]

Then I heard the laughter and I realized it had happened again. Well, at least I could have a sense of humor about it this time.

"OK, girls, I'm sorry this keeps happening with my skirt. I'll try and be more careful."

[Alana]

"Why don't you just keep your skirt up, Mrs. Williams? It seems to have a mind of its own," said Jane, the smartest girl in class.

I tugged my skirt down and said, "Now girls, you know this was just an accident. I wouldn't want you to think it was OK to tease a boy by doing something like this."

"In these skirts?" said another girl. True enough. It would take quite an effort to do an upskirt in those long stiff pleated plaid skirts the girls had to wear with their school uniforms.

"Let's get back to dic-kens," I said.

At three o'clock I made my way to the principal's office. I grabbed a steno pad and a pen from the secretary's desk and got ready to take some dictation.

I seated myself comfortably, crossing my legs, and told Mr. Compson---Jason---I was ready to go.

"Good," he said. "And please try to keep your skirt somewhere below your waist while you work."

"Oh, you heard about that, did you?"

I didn't smile, because I didn't know if I was in trouble or not.

[Alana]

"I did."

"So you brought me in here to tell me off."

"No, I brought you in here to take some dictation. And to ask you to be a little bit more careful in the future."

"I'm sorry. I've never taught at a girl's school before. I just wasn't as careful as I am around boys. You men don't ever have to worry about that sort of thing."

"Mrs. Williams---Annie---you're an excellent teacher. You have a very good reputation. From what I've heard the girls love you, and not just because you show them your underwear."

"Sorry."

"I'm not about to tell you off because of one little mistake. In fact, if things work out, I might be able to offer you a permanent position here. Would you like that?"

A permanent teaching job! At a girls school! A chance to wear dresses to work every day!

"That would be wonderful. And if my skirt happens to fly up over my head today I'm sure you'll be the first to notice and tell me. You haven't stopped looking at my legs since I got here."

"Sorry. Like I said, you're quite a bit younger than most of the teachers here."

"I'm not that young. You must be in your mid-forties?"

"I'm forty-six."

"I'm in my fifties. I'm older than you."

"Really? I can't believe that. You don't have a grey hair on your head."

I better not, or I'm getting a refund on this wig.

"We'd better get to work," I said.

He started dictating one letter after another, and despite what I had said earlier, he still kept looking at my legs. He didn't stare; he would look away now and then, but his gaze kept returning to my legs, as though they were irresistible.

Geriatric old broad, eh?

I was flattered, but it made me nervous. At one point I got so nervous I dropped the pad off my lap. He made a motion to get it for me, but I picked it up and smiled at him.

"Butterfingers," I said.

[Alana]

"Do I make you nervous?"

"The way you look at me does make me a little bit nervous. But I'm not going to tell a man he can't look at my legs after he's just offered me a permanent job."

"I haven't offered you the job yet. But I won't offer it because you're attractive or because you let me look at your legs. It's because you're a good teacher."

"Do you think I'm attractive?"

"Of course you are. You know how pretty you are."

"Maybe so, but it's nice to hear it now and again. You know, there are some who wouldn't consider this conversation appropriate. I suppose you're going to tell me I shouldn't wear such short skirts if I don't want you to stare at my legs."

"I would never say that. I'm sorry; I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. Do you want me to look away?"

I sighed.

"You're the boss," I said. "Do as you feel best. Do you want me to lift up my skirt for you? I'm good at that."

"Mrs. Williams---"

"Annie."

"Mrs. Williams, this is all highly unprofessional. I am a principal and you are a substitute teacher. Let's keep things on a professional basis or we could both get in trouble."

"Yes, you're right Mr. Compson. Let's continue."

And I have to give him credit. He didn't look at my legs once more the entire time I was there.

When I finished, I said, "Mr. Compson, it's fine with me if you look at my legs. I shouldn't have objected."

"Please just have them typed for my signature, Mrs. Williams."

I typed up the letters and left them on his desk.

He was a good man. A decent man. I shouldn't have made him feel bad about ogling me. What he said made me appreciate that this was just a little harmless flirting, and nothing to worry about. Just fun.

When I got home, as soon as I got through the doorway, Annie greeted me by whacking me on the head with her purse. She almost knocked my wig off.

"What the hell! What was that for?"

"Take a look at the computer screen, little Miss Girly Girl!"

I went in the study and looked at the computer. There I was on somebody's Facebook page with my legs wide open, showing my frillies. "My teacher, Annie Williams, showing her knickers" read the caption.

"Can't you keep out of trouble for one day?"

"How did you even find this?"

"I set up a Google alert for my name as soon as I saw you in a dress. I knew there'd be trouble; there always is. Congratulations, Adam. Any time somebody Googles me, this will come up. For a job interview, for a loan application, anything."

"Can't I just be a different Annie Williams?"

"Both teachers? Both here in St. Louis? Some of these photos don't even show your face! What the hell were you thinking, Adam? What were you trying to prove?"

"It was an accident."

"Adam, if you can't sit like a lady, stop dressing like one! You have really gone and done it this time! I wouldn't mind it if you just wanted to screw up your own life, but why do you have to screw up mine?"

"This will be OK. I'll fix it."

"I wish someone would fix you. With scissors."

"I'll ask them to take it down."

"Oh, and a bunch of teenage girls are just going to do what you ask?"

"I can ask them to remove your name. They'll do that. The photos will stay up but no way to connect them with you. Honey, this is just a little embarrassment, that's all. It won't really affect your career."

"Bullshit. Teachers are like ministers. Any little hint of scandal and we're looking for a new job. You know how careful teachers have to be, or you would if you were ever careful."

"Annie, don't get hysterical."

"Oh, go soak your nylons!"

The next morning I wore Annie's cute little dress with the violets all over it. Yet another dress with a short skirt. I posed in the mirror and thought, "Resist this, Jason, if you can."

Now what made me think that? Well, his attentions were flattering. Flattery is flattery, in whatever form. And I sure wasn't getting much flattery from my wife, lately.

The principal met me in the hall that morning, as usual.

"Hello, Jason," I said. "Like my new dress?"