I Don't Think He Knows!

[Alana]

"I Don't Think He Knows!" by Alana

So, there is a site which I won't mention, but I'm sure you've heard of it, where I like to post photos of myself in various dresses, as well as other photos I think are sexy. I like to post pictures of Susanna Reid, the TV presenter from the UK, not just because she's sexy and gorgeous, but because I just adore her tight, colorful dresses. You just don't see women wearing beautiful dresses like that any more. I got an email which said:

Hi,
 I saw your photos of Susanna Reid this morning - she is gorgeous - my perfect woman. Can I ask who the other newsreader is you have a photo of, I didn't recognize her - is she on network TV?
 Simon
 ps. Just realized I should have said which photo - it's the close up of her, she is wearing a blue dress.

Looking through my photos, it seemed that he was actually talking about a photo of me! I wasn't sure, so I emailed him back.

I'm not sure which photo you mean. Is it this one?

[Alana]

He replied:
Hi there,
 Thanks for replying. That's the girl, she looks stunning - she has that natural look that I wish more women would go for. Is she a newscaster or a TV presenter?
 Simon

He really was referring to me. I thought to myself, wow, I don't think he knows! Then I thought, oh come on, he has to know. He's just kidding, just putting me on. Well, I can play along. I emailed back:

No, not a TV presenter. That's me. Thank you for the compliment. Here's another close-up to remember me by.

[Alana]

Here's the rest of our conversation that day:

Oh wow, I'm really sorry - I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable. You have a wonderful style, thank you for the link to that other photo.
 Simon

Oh yes, you made me terribly uncomfortable by calling me stunning. The only thing that could make me more uncomfortable is if you said something nice about my legs.

[Alana]

You are just so cool - I wish more women were like you and would accept complements gracefully.
 Thank you for that non-close-up photo - you look stunning with legs :-) Your legs are perfect - I guess you work out a lot? I know most women work very hard to try and get a figure like yours, even if they achieved it, they don't have your advantage of such a pretty face!

I'll keep sending you photos if you keep complimenting me. I don't work out. I'm just naturally that thin, although the girdle helps a lot. Here's a little cheesecake shot:

[Alana]

You are amazing - both in looks and attitude!
 I love that shot - you have the cutest smile in it. (I'm at work at the moment, so can only look on my phone - but will look properly at it when I get home tonight)
 I'm amazed you don't have to work out to look like you do - though I've never met a woman who wears a girdle - doesn't that hurt - I thought that was some 19th century thing?

Does every woman you meet immediately lift her skirt for you? I assure you, there are a lot of girdles out there.
 If you think I'm beautiful, you should see my little sister:

[Alana]

Sorry, I didn't mean literally every woman I met, that I immediately checked for the presence of girdles!
 That is a cute photo of you and your sister - she obviously looks up to you a lot, and follows your sense of style.
 As cute as your sister is, you are definitely the more beautiful of you two. It must have really frustrated her when you were younger that all her boyfriends would show a greater interest in you when they came around the house.

You are so sweet! Though of course, you have it exactly backwards. She's the one who gets all the attention. We fight all the time. She's always trying to borrow my dresses. I remember when we got in a big fight over a dress:

[Alana]

That is a fantastic photo - I assume you were planning to do a properly modeling shoot (hence the white background).
 I have two sisters and they fight so much - having them both round for dinner at the same time is just a timebomb waiting to go off.
 So who won that fight?

Oh, she won. She always wins. I let her wear the dress, and even zipped it up for her. And I must admit, she looked fantastic in it.