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Chapter 6
Andy felt almost joyful as he pulled the plastic pants up over his nappy. He felt safe and secure but there was something missing and it was the feeling known by any addiction. It was far worse than just a simple yearning, it was the fix needed by a smoker, the first drink of the day of an alcoholic. What was that desire that was eating in to him? His eyes scoured the kitchen, he saw bottle nipples in the steriliser, and they called out to him, but then his eyes fell on to a clear plastic box with a collection of brightly coloured dummies that had been cleaned and dried. He almost ran to the box, removed the lid and chose a bright pink soother. He had his doe-di, his comforter, his binkie, his pacifier - he knew it by so many names. How could this have happened? The silicon teat filled his mouth, the plastic guard completely covered his lips and it rendered any chance of speech impossible. He suc-ked it furiously and the anxiety of his failing escape seemed to diminish as the soother bobbed in and out.
He resumed his search for keys, for anything that might help him. Olivia’s white T-shirt barely covered the waist band of his plastic pants which rustled reassuringly as he searched every drawer and cupboard. His last six weeks of confinement in his cot had left him extremely weak and all the adrenaline fuelled activity had taken a huge toll on his stamina. Olivia had completely baby-proofed the house and he realised he was defeated. He picked up a nappy from the pile on the table, it felt so soft, so beautifully white and fluffy. He buried his head into its enticing embrace and breathed in its babyish fragrance, comforted by its feel on his cheek.
Clutching his new comforter to his cheek, he staggered back towards the stairs. He fell to his knees as his strength ebbed away. He crawled up the stairs and hadn’t the strength to stand back up. He continued his journey back to the nursery as a baby, he didn’t have the strength to be a toddler. He reached the cot and kneeled at the side of the lowered cot rail as if in prayer. He felt a discomfort in his stomach and then realised that he was about to soil his nappy, but for some reason this seemed perfectly normal, indeed it was almost comforting. He felt the back of his nappy being a resistance to his elimination and eventually a warm mass slumped out and to his horror the feeling brought him huge pleasure. He felt proud of what he had achieved.
His last effort was to haul himself back into his cot and cover himself in the soft woollen blanket. His eyes struggled to stay open but he quickly succ-umbed to slumber. The nanny cam in the teddy on the shelf watched Andy’s every move.
K
Olivia was furious, her nanny had let her down badly and hadn’t even had the courtesy to call or explain her absence. She had ignored all her phone calls.
Topic: Failed and Faulty (Read 2947 times)
