My slide into babyhood

[Deewet_69]

I cannot begin to describe the shame I felt as the poo poured uncontrollably into my waiting diaper, the hot wetness flowing into my crotch.  I tried to pull away from the bottle to explain and apologize but her strong arms made that impossible.

Debbie said something about the mess Linda would be cleaning and Linda replied, she had no problem with cleaning up her little baby.  Afterall, since I was spending every minute in diapers over the weekend, she was sure this wouldn’t be the last mess.

Cindy giggled.  Not after what you put in her bottle.

Helplessly, I continued with the bottle, the warm milk easing my anxieties.  Linda continued to rub the front of my plastic pants, making the soft diaper caress my little pen-is, the plastic of the pants crinkling loudly.  I kept my eyes close, trying to shut out everything except suc-kling my bottle and felling the softness of the diaper.

When I came, it caught me by surprise.  Instead of the explosion I got when masturbating, this came in a slow wave of pleasure.   I moaned around the bottle nipple, loving every moment, knowing I’d do anything for this pleasure.  Another thing was my control went and I filled more of my diaper as I came. 

“Nancy likes her diaper doesn’t she,” said Linda.  “Nancy’s going to love being mommies little baby girl.”

I felt very sleepy after the bottle and gave no resistance as I was carried to the bedroom.  Now I realize that she had put something in my milk to relax me.  At the time, I was in a dream state as I was put onto a changing table…one made for real babies but could hold a little man like me.  I suc-ked on my pacifier and drifted as my sticky diaper was removed and Linda went about cleaning my mess. 

In my weird state of mind, I did think about she had spent some time getting ready for this weekend: the changing table, the stack of plastic pants and diapers – and the white crib in the corner, but it didn’t seem to bother me.  I was content and happy as a baby.

Nor did I think about how odd this was getting to be with a grown man being treated as a little baby.  Was I the only one in the world getting a little off on being treated this way? I now know there is a whole world of people of AB’s out there, but on that changing table I didn’t know it.  This feeling of isolation and being so different, in a way increased my willingness to submit to this game.  It also helped that I was getting so much attention from these women. 

Look how thick this naptime diaper is, said someone.  And she was right; the thickness between my legs was incredible.

My romper was replaced with a pink gown.  It tied at the bottom like a bag and made walking impossible.

[Anonymous]

I know if anyone every reads my diary they will wonder how, if I didn’t want to be turned into her baby girl, why I didn’t stop things at that point.  But, then you have never been little like me, ignored by women or worse, mistaken to be a kid not a man.  You haven’t spent hopeless night, alone, dying to feel the touch of someone else, to feel loved.



So, I let Linda put me down for a nap, dressed in a pink nightgown, wearing thick diapers and plastic pants.   I took the pacifier she offered and suc-ked on it as she pulled the curtains to dim the room.  I let three women treat me like a baby.



I don’t remember ever taking a better nap.  The mobile of little pink sheep and fluffy clouds turned above me as I savored the feeling of my bare legs inside my pink soft sleeping sack, hearing and feeling the plastic pants against the insides of my thighs when I moved.  Letting the warm pee seep into my waiting diaper.  



Even now, I have no idea how long I slept, but my diaper was soaked when I awoke.  I noticed a baby monitor in the room so I decided to cry like a baby for Linda.  



She loved it.



Oh is little Nancy awake, she cooed at me when she returned to the room.  What a good girl, taking a nap for mommy.



She loved it even more than my diaper was wet.



I see Nancy likes playing baby for me.  We are going to have so much fun this weekend.  The girls have gone out shopping for little Nancy.  We found a nice lady on the internet who makes dresses for little girls like you and guess what…she live only a few miles from us.  



Mixed emotions flooded though me – I loved the attention, but never had any fantasies about being dressed as a girl.  Men did like to make passes at me, wanting to be my daddy, but I’m straight.  



Linda untied my nightgown hem and pulled it up to my waist.  Again, it felt so nice, lying there doing nothing but loving the feeling of her soft hands changing me.  I wished she would go on forever rubbing the powder into me, but alas, another thick diaper was pinned tightly.   Next came the plastic pants to keep the outside world dry.  They bit tightly at my waist and legs.



She kept me in the nightgown, tying the bottom again.  Next she carried me into the living room and placed me on a blanket on the floor.  After my long nap and suc-king on a pacifier I was thirsty and was happy for the bottle.



I’d just gotten about half of the bottle down when the front door opened and in came the shoppers.  They arms were full of dresses on hangers and in plastic bags.



This isn’t everything, they exclaimed.  We went so overboard, but everything was so cute.

[Anonymous]

As they talked and looked at the dresses, I could only watch helplessly from my spot on the blanket, suc-king on my bottle.  They all were so excited and being the center of attraction – despite it being a man wearing diapers – was kind-of nice.  I was never the center of attraction for women.



After checking the web once I got back to my place tonight, I now know they must have spent a fortune on my baby dresses.  This fact alone tells me that our baby game will not end anytime in the near future.  



As soon as my bottle was finished, we played dress-up.  I have to admit my perceptions changed on this game when they put me in my first dress.  Hopefully I can capture that special moment on paper.  Like I said before, I had never worn any girls clothing.



First I was taken out of my nightgown and left to stand in only my thick diaper.  My pink plastic pants were replaced with pink nylon pants lined in vinyl.  To add to the sissyness, four rows of ruffles ran across the seat.  



The first dress was made of pink satin with ruffles everywhere.  Cindy asked me step in to the dress and pulled it up over my bulging diaper.  She then took my arms, which in comparison to their muscular arms, were little sticks.  The dress felt as a cloud as my arms came out the ruffled, balloon sleeves.  I felt myself slip into some unknown spot in my mind as she zipped up the back.  Somehow, being in this little girl dress that fit me perfectly, pushed this beyond a game of dress up. I  felt a strange warmth inside my diaper and my legs felt rubbery.  



They weren’t finished there.  Fancy socks were put on my little feet and white little girl shoes – Mary Jane’s – I have learned, came next.  



My hair is a little long and very soft.  They wouldn’t let me look in the mirror until they finished putting my hair into a ponytail tied with a huge pink ribbon.



“We’ll have to get Nancy a petticoat before the party next week.” said Linda as they worked on my hair.  



“Party?” I questioned nervously, now very afraid they planned to take me outside dressed this way.



Linda pushed a pacifier into my mouth.  It’s Halloween next week and we plan to take you as our little baby girl.  Now, one more word from you and one of these nice young ladies will have to give Nancy a spanking.



My mind raced about how to get out of that party – until they let me stand in front of the mirror.



I couldn’t believe it was me.  Standing there in this short pink dress, my diapered filled panties in plain sight, was a little girl.   I was gone, replaced by someone else.  The warmth in my diaper grew and then, with three hot, big women surrounding me, making a fuse on how cute I was, I came in my diaper.  It was so surprising that I suc-ked in hard on my pacifier and moaned.  My knees bucked and I flopped onto the floor, my butt cushioned by the fluffy diaper.  



And then I did something unexpected.  I started crying.  All my years of being alone, not accepted because of my size, rushed from me and I sobbed.



Linda picked me up from the floor and held me on the couch as I continued crying.  She whispered that everything was okay, that mommy would take care of little Nancy.

[Anonymous]

As I sit here writing in my diary, tears are welling up in my eyes and I wish my mommy Linda was holding me.  Strange how lonely and scary my apartment seems to me now.



Back to the weekend.  Finally I stopped crying and accepted another bottle from Cindy.  The warm milk seemed to help me calm down.  I had to drink it sitting up because of the full petticoat.  Linda sat me on an oversized wooden chair that she had placed on a carpeted platform.  This made it so my feet were well off the floor, making it easy to swing my little feet like a little girl as I suc-kled the bottle.



Oh no, tears are running down my face now as I think about the next turn in my weekend.  With the girls and Linda being so big and basketball players, I was starting to think they must be gay.  Well as I drank my bottle I learned different.  



They had boyfriends.  How do I know?  Well as I drank, the doorbell rang.  In came two huge football players.  Playing as a little girl for Linda and the girls is one thing.  To be dressed as a little girl – in wet diapers – in front of other men, well – I can’t begin to explain the humiliation.  As I said before, I’m not gay.



I really wanted to run away, but dressed as I was, no an option.  It was then I realized I had been trapped.



As you might expect, the two guys were very macho and interested in their women, but also were intrigued by me.  They made off color comments about how I should be ready to suc-k on something more than a bottle, dressed the way I was.  This scared me a lot, seeing I would be helpless to stop something like that from happening.  



Seems they were all going out to dinner.  Linda told the men to wait and have a beer while she got her little sissy ready for bed.  



My dress was removed and diaper changed.  This time Linda put what she called doublers in my thick diaper.  The result was the material being so think between my legs, that I could not come close to closing them.  



Again she put on my nightgown.  I was seriously thinking about escaping while they were out, but any hope was over when Cindy came in with some rope.  I started to whimper around my pacifier, but Linda held my wrist in her strong hands as Cindy bound my ankles.  It’s to keep my baby girl safe in her bed, said Linda.  



By the way Carol did the ropes, it was obvious she had tied someone up before and knew what she was doing.  The thick diaper pressed against my thighs painfully from my tied ankles.  



The rope was thankfully soft and she didn’t bind my wrist behind my back.  Instead she firmly bound them in front me.

 

My pacifier was replaced with a gag.  When I say it was a short rubber pen-is, I shook my head.   Linda held my head as Carol rammed the pen-is home.   The wide belt of the gag was buckled behind my head.



They lifted me and put me in the baby bed.  With another short rope, my bound wrists were secured to the bars.  



I’d never been bound before and the feeling of helplessness was overwhelming.  The pen-is gag effectively silenced any protest and I knew I was going nowhere until Linda came home.

[Anonymous]

I lost track of time as I was bound in the crib, my cries silenced by the pen-is filling my mouth.  This turn of events had left me so frightened.  What if she decided to never let me out of her place?  There was nothing I could do.  She had made me helpless.



I’m certain there were drugs in the bottle because I fell asleep and did not wake until Linda came home – very drunk.  Sometime in the evening I vaguely recall waking up to an urgent need to dirty my diaper.  I remember trying to fight it but lost as warm soft poo filled my diaper.



Then incredibly, I went back to sleep.



Linda staggered into my crib, commenting on the smell.  I was mortified lying there in my dirty diaper, bound and gagged.  Reality also hit me when I saw she wasn’t alone.  That a man was with her.  



Now, I should have known by the way she had treated me we were not be lovers in the sense on a man and woman, but I had fallen under her spell and thought our playing would lead to something.  As I helplessly heard him later screwing her, while I was bound in a crib, my diapers full, a gag filling my mouth, I never felt lower.  



My mind during that long night, wondered over my miserable life, being so little and cute.  Was this my destiny?  To be treated as a little baby by women.  To be reduced to needing love so badly I was willing to wear and use diapers.   Then I began to realize that the choice might not be mine to make.  



Then something more strange went through my mind as I heard Linda suc-king on the guy.  I though about the rubber coc-k filling my mouth and the one Linda was suc-king on.  My tongue explored the lifelike head and ridges and wondered what a real on would feel like.  Could I actually do something like that?



Sometime in the night I fell back asleep.  In the morning, Linda was very hung over but also nice to me.   She untied me and took me into the bathroom.  I was a mess inside my diaper but she didn’t seem to mind.  Gently she cleaned me up and then gave me a wonderful hot bath.



I had made the resolution to tell her I had enough, but somehow I couldn’t do it.  I wasn’t ready to walk from being babied.  



Instead of a thick cloth diaper, she put me in a disposable pamper, followed by pink plastic pants.  Next she had me slip on a plaid skirt that zipped up in the back.  I knew something was up when she had me slide on a bra and filled the cups with inserts.  This was covered with a white blouse that buttoned up the back.



Linda had me sit down to put on my lacy white socks and black Mary Jane shoes.  



She smiled at me.  â€śLet’s get a wig on you and some makeup and you’ll pass easily.”  

“What?” I said.



“I’m coaching a game today.  You don’t want to stay in your crib all day, do you?”

[Anonymous]

This scared me to death.  Yes, I’d worn the baby jumper on the bus to get here but I had it hidden under my coat.  Now, she wanted me to go outside, pretending to be a girl.



What if someone talks to me, I asked.



So talk back to them.  Your voice already sounds like a little girls.



That hurt me.  I’d always worried about my voice.  Many time people thought I was a girl on the phone.



My worries dissolved when she finished with the wig and make-up.  Standing in front of the narrow I did look like a thirteen-year-old girl, dressed a little sassy in my skirt and Mary Janes.  



“The diaper will keep you from having to go into the girls bathroom.”  She went into the kitchen and brought be a baby bottle.  â€śBesides, you’re still my little baby.  No drinking from a cup at the game or eating big people food.”



Then I asked a stupid question.  Stupid because of what came next.  



“What if I have to go poop?



She handed me the bottle and smiled.  â€śHow could I have forgotten.”



I suc-kled my bottom on the couch, worried about that evil look on her face.  Soon she came back from the bedroom.



“Lie down on the floor,” she instructed.



I did, still working on my bottle.



“Mommy can make sure your diaper stays only wet.”



She pushed up my skirt, pulled down my plastic pants and untapped my still dry diaper.



“Roll over onto your belly and stick that cute butt into the air.”



After nervously complying, I glanced over at myself in the mirror on the wall.  There I say a sissy with her round butt in the air with pink plastic pants wrapped around her ankles.  



Then I saw she was spreading Vaseline on a blue butt plug.  



“Don’t do that,” I pleaded.



“shh,” she commanded, putting a pacifier in my mouth to silence me.

I still whimpered as she pressed the plug against my virgin hole.  At first it felt like she was ramming a baseball bat into me and I didn’t think it would fit – then it disappeared – filling me.  



“Now we are safe.”  She turned me back over and started replacing my diaper.  â€śI’m so happy you reminded me.”



I wasn’t glad.  The thing occupied my mind and I was terrified to walk around, dressed as a girl, wearing a diaper and plastic pants, while my rear was plugged.

[Anonymous]

Authors note:



I’m not sure if pages were missing from the diary, but it picks up at the basketball game…







As you know, this all started because of my fascination with women’s basketball.  No way did I ever dream I’d ever be sitting courtside in a skirt.  



Linda’s team won the game but I never paid attention.  The butt plug never left my mind, being rammed up in me from sitting.  I also had to keep my mind on having my knees together so no one across the court could see I was wearing plastic pants.



Of course, I wasn’t alone.  Strangers sat all around me and I could hear the whispers and see the glances.  If you have ever been to a women’s game you would know that my little girl look did not fit in with the attire of those around me.  I’m not a dummy and I know most of the woman watching the game were gay and I also knew why the glances.  They thought I was a woman playing like a girl.  



It wasn’t until the second half that a few ventured to talk to me.  I was scared to death when I first opened my mouth, sure my voice would give it away, that is was a man dressed in girls clothing.   I wasn’t playing when I acted shy, I really felt like a little girl around grown-ups.  The women around me loved it.  They played along, asking me whom I like on the team.  Soon, they had bought me a slushy and cotton candy.   I knew I wasn’t supposed to eat big kid food or drink from a cup, but thankfully, Linda glanced up and nodded.  



I started to relax and have fun.  It was so neat to be the center of attraction and not be me, to not be the little guy.  To be turning on those around me.  



“Do you need to go to the girls room?” asked the woman next to me.   “We’re going.”



I told her no, thinking that I’d just gone in my diaper.  That in itself was so vastly strange.  To be sitting around people as you silently wet your diaper.



“After that big drink you must have to go.”



It was then that a basketball player ran into us as she scrambled for the ball.  I tumbled to the floor and worst of all, my skirt flew up and exposed my plastic pants to the world.  



They help me up and asked if I was okay.  Luckily I was done with my slushy.  For a moment I thought maybe no one noticed my diapered state.



Not to be.  The woman leaned over and whispered in my ear.  â€śI see mommy has you protected.  Are you wet?  I’d love to change you/”

I lowered my head in shame.  



“I bet you have a clean diaper in your bag.”



She took me strongly by the hand.