Author Topic: What am I doing (Read 20054 times)

Diaperedone · « **on:** October 02, 2008, 07:15:37 PM »

Section 1:

For the third time in ten days I find myself stripping wet sheets off my bed and letting my mattress air out while I quickly wash and dry the bed clothing. It’s frustrating and exciting at the same time. I guess I should explain.

I am in my late forties, a senior executive in a major international investment banking company and professionally doing extremely well, my personal life for the past twenty five years has been a rollercoaster ride.

You see twenty years ago I stumbled across a Penthouse forum, one of the letters talked about a man put into diapers by his wife. The letter was extremely erotic for me for some reason. By that time in my life I had fathered three beautiful girls, and discovered their mother could not keep her panties on.

Over the course of the next five years as my marriage completely fell apart I was left to fix dinner, get the girls tucked into bed and had the house to myself late into the night. The internet was still largely unknown and its predecessor, the bulletin board systems (BBS) were prevalent if you knew how to navigate the different dial-up configuration and looked for local access numbers. It was this arena that led me to the discovery of the adult baby / diaper lover world.

During this time my wife would leave as I was coming home, after getting the kids to bed I was left with little to do as she was rarely home before 2:00 AM. I found a BBS called Bytemine, the predecessor to the web site ilovediapers.com. At first it started with downloading pictures, mostly of young women dressed in diapers or baby clothes. Now the youngest of my three girls was pretty much out of diapers although at the time she still occasionally had some night time accidents. Given my age and having been raised in cloth diapers all three girls experienced the same diapers, hell given the cost and the fact that I was in the military it just made sense. Those diapers and plastic pants were stored in boxes up in the attic.

After a period of time I had down loaded most of the pictures off the BBS and one night I discovered the story section as well as the chat area. I had just recently gotten out of the military and was working as a computer technician for a local bank, familiar with the lack of security with electronic systems I stayed away from engaging in the chat area but started to down load and read the stories.

Many of the stories were obviously fantasy and I enjoyed them immensely, however there were a number that were written in such away that it was an easy reach to believe they were factual. Many were about individuals discovering for the first time this world of pleasure, guilt and like me that there maybe other people in the real world that were struggling to understand this uncontrollable desire.

To be continued………….

Section 2

Fast forward a couple of years….

my first marriage ended, my ex-wife did not want to be stuck raising three girls, I on the other hand welcomed the opportunity or so I thought… Just how hard could it be? Being a single parent was tough I had very little time to myself and much of that was late at night. One weekend while the girls were at there moms I decided to clear out some of the old junk that had acc-umulated over the years and get rid of any lingering reminders of my previous marriage.

The girls had gone over to their moms after school on Friday and when I got home later Friday afternoon the house was empty. I did my usual quick walk through of the house picking up the clutter before changing my clothes. I changed into a pair of sweat pants and shirt and set drinking a beer deciding how I would attack this cleaning project. I opted for the attic first thinking anything that needed to go would get moved into the garage.

I climbed the ladder-stairs into the attic and flipped on the light, not too bad I thought to myself as I surveyed the half dozen boxes, a child’s booster chair and an old car seat. The chair and car seat went to the garage and the boxes were placed in the living room. I paused long enough to make a quick sandwich and grab a fresh beer before I headed into the living room to sort through the boxes to see just what would have to be thrown out or dropped off at the goodwill.

The first box that I opened looked to be baby clothes; some cute summer dresses a few frilly slips, some flat dress shoes and a few t-shirts and what looked like t-shirts with snap shorts attached, I would later find out these were called onesies. I closed up the box and placed it in the garage to go to the goodwill.

The next box I opened was packed full of what I first thought were rags, I grabbed the top one and shook it out, quickly realizing that these were not rags but rather large flat cloth diapers. The tag on the corner described it as a “Gerber x-larger toddler 50-110 lbs flat diaper” I was surprised at the size as I could not recall the girls needing anything quite so big. I started to pull the diapers out and realized the further I went into the box the smaller the diapers went. That’s when I recalled that my mother-in-law had bought us a complete set of cloth diapers when the middle girl was born; her rational was with two in diapers we would need varying sizes. She had special ordered them direct from Gerber I remembered and recalled the conversation about the various sizes that we would probably not need but came with the order.

I left the diapers out on the couch arranged in the various piles based on size and opened the next box. As soon as the top opened I knew I was looking at the other half of the combination of the cloth diaper equation… the plastic pants.

I was truly amazed that the wide verity of panties that I discovered in the box, however thinking about it the girls were the first girls in my side of the family and they had a number of doting Aunts and two grandmothers that made sure when they were dressed there was no doubt as to wither they were boys or girls.

I mimicked the process with the diapers, sorting the panties out in stacks by size; most of the panties that had survived three girls through the diaper stage were x-larger toddler size. This made sense as I remembered that each of the girls were potty trained very early and it was only the youngest that had a few accidents after her second birthday. At the very bottom of the box was a catalog from a company in Canada that specialized in baby clothing and accessories and a baggie of diaper pins in varying sizes.

The other two boxes that I pulled open were baby clothes; mostly in the 2T range and these were placed in the goodwill stack as well. The last and final box was somewhat of a surprise. Inside was maternity clothing that the girl’s mother wore through her pregnancies. All three girls were born in mid to late summer and many of the clothes were the baby doll tops that women wore in the early 80’s as well as a number of summer dresses made specially for expecting mothers as well as a number of pairs of flat dress shoes. I am not sure why I left these clothes out rather then box them up for the goodwill.

To be continued……..

Section 3:

By the time I had gotten the attic cleared I was left with stacks of diapers and plastic panties along with maternity tops and summer dresses. It was getting late and I really could not do much more that night so I called it quits and grabbed a beer. I plopped down on the couch turned on the T.V and caught up on life. As I reached for my beer my hand brushed the catalog that had been buried in with the diapers and I picked it up along with my beer. I glanced at the front cover and remembered the issue we had with the diaper order my mother-in-law had so generously ordered for the girls. The company “Baby Kins” was an outfit in Canada and the package had come with customs tags and we were required to pay tariffs on the order. As I perused through the catalog I wondered if they were still in business, maybe they would buy back the diapers that I had that had not been used.

I moved to my study and fired up the computer and logged on to the web and launched Lycos (pre-Google) and searched for the company. Luck would have it they had a web site, as I browsed the site I discovered a tab for adult products. Clicking through the adult acknowledgment I was presented with a display of adult diapers, and plastic pants I quickly discovered that they offered much more then just diapers but bibs, pacifiers, clothing and restraint devices. As I reviewed the many choices of diapers and plastic pants I realized that this must be the outfit that supplied the many models from the Bytemine BBS as many of the diapers and especially the plastic pants with the lacey ruffles were exactly the same. When I clicked the order button I was presented with an 800 number (before online ordering) as well as a store location and hours of operation. As I looked at the store location I realized they were not much more then an hour away just across the border in Vancouver and they were open on Saturdays I jotted down the address and shutdown the system.

Glancing at the clock I realized it was after 10:00 PM and I wandered off to bed my mind racing a hundred miles an hour. I tossed and turned all night long, images of diapers and baby clothes flipping through my mind. I awoke at my usual hour of 5:00 AM, normally I would just roll over and drift back to sleep on a Saturday morning, but not today. I got up and was showered, shaved, dressed and had breakfast by 6:00 AM, I was on a mission. Gathering up the stacks of diapers and plastic pants that I thought would be returnable I loaded up the car, grabbing the address from the night before I got out the atlas (pre-GPS) and traced a route into Canada my best guess was two hours which would put me there just after a 9:00 AM opening.

The trip to the border was uneventful and much quicker then I thought as I crossed over with a quick wave of my driver’s license (pre 9/11) just over an hour after leaving the house. Twenty minutes later I was in front of a small warehouse in an older industrial park with a small non-descript sign on the front listing the hours. Checking my watch I had about 20 minutes to kill and drove off searching for coffee. Returning at the stroke of 9:00 I watched a kindly middle aged women open the door and turn the closed sign over. I took a deep breath as I grabbed the box with the diapers and plastic pants and forced myself through the front door. I entered into a small shop with a long counter dividing the public side from the small office behind the counter were the lady was just putting her purse and coat away.

“Oh my, you’re out early this morning” the lady said in a cheery voice as I placed the box on the counter. I handed her the catalog that had been stuffed in the box and stored in the attic for the past 10 years. “My goodness I have not seen this catalog in years” she said as she slowly turned the pages, “this was just a year or two after we opened”. By her comments I knew she must be the owner or at least a longtime employee.

“My name is Grace and how can I help you?” she asked with smile. I explained to her that I was cleaning out years of a bad marriage and showed her the unused diapers and plastic pants all the while wondering where or if they had the adult diapers in the store. Grace listen to my story and then in a very sympathetic voice told me “I am so sorry but diapers are considered under clothing and we can not take them back in return. However I have a Goodwill bin in the back if you would like to donate them” she said with a smile.

I picked up the box “lead the way” I said with a smile. Grace passed through a curtained off doorway into a long narrow warehouse. Grace led me down the main aisle that split the warehouse with rows of shelves on both sides. The shelves appeared to be at least two deep on each side of the aisle. As we reached the end of the warehouse and I set the box down I commented “wow I did not know there were that many parents still using cloth diapers on their children.” I turned towards Grace and discovered her standing next to two adult sized mannequins; she must have read the expression on my face as she quietly explained.

“Most of my business has changed over the past couple of years” Grace said with a slight smile. “Oh I still do a fair diaper business for newborn and pre-one year olds, but after they hit about one year of age and they become more mobile parents are switching them over to disposables.” I was having a hard time concentrating on my conversation with Grace as I tried desperately to covertly check out the mannequins beside her.

“As you can see by these mannequins” Grace said with a sly twinkle in her eye as she suc-ked me down into a black hole. “We make a great deal of adult sized products.” My opportunity had arrived as Grace directed my attention to the mannequins. I approached nearer and circled the mannequins taking every detail in, I so frantically wanted to reach out and touch them and I had to focus on not letting my excitement show.

As I turned towards Grace I could feel my face flush as I realized that Grace could see right through the facade I was trying to project. “Is there that many adults that need these products” I stammered still desperately trying to hide my obvious excitement.

Grace gave me an apprising look and asked cheerfully “do you have time for a cup of coffee? I don’t get many walk-in customers” as she guided me to the front of the warehouse. As I sat down at one of the small desks Grace placed a catalog on the desk, “take a look at our product line while I get us some coffee, cream or sugar?” she asked with a smile. “Just black” I said as my shaking hands opened the catalog.

I was in heaven; the first page displayed and described the four basic types of diapers. The first was the flat rectangular diaper, one would have to fold to size and shape, the second was the standard flat pre-fold with the center soaker, and the third diaper was a pull-up style, while the fourth was a contoured hour glass shaped pre-fold with elastic in the waist and leg openings.

The next couple of pages were the complements to the diapers, the plastic pants, or should I say panties. From every color, size and configuration, there were plain white pull-ups, plain snap-on, and a wide variety of fancy panties. These were various colors mostly pastel, pink, and yellow; all had lace of some form or another. Many with lace around the leg and waist openings, or rows of ruffles across the butt, some with a nylon shell covering the soft plastic. Then there were the printed panties, these had juvenile prints all over, pink ballerinas, little girls in sundresses, baby bottles and rattles. I was physically excited and did not notice Grace setting my coffee on the desk and quietly slipping into a chair all the while observing my reaction.

The next few pages contained all of the accessories, diaper pins, even some locking ones, baby bottles, rattles, pacifiers, pretty much all the things you would expect to find in a mothers diaper bag. As I flipped to the final pages I had found my coffee that Grace had placed on the desk. The last couple of pages were filled with baby clothing, starting with the necessities, onesies in a variety of colors and prints, socks, bonnets, Mary Jane shoes in various colors. Then came the baby clothing, footed sleepers, rompers, satin party dresses, baby tops. All of the clothing with few exceptions was extremely frilly and diffidently girlish.

As I flipped the catalog over I took a sip of cold coffee, not realizing how long I had spent poring over the catalog. I looked up hoping against hope that Grace would not realize how physically excited I was or how fascinated I had been with the catalog. I glanced up, catching Grace observing me, as our eyes meet her gaze turned thoughtful as my face turned bright red, unable to hide my true feelings.

More to come….

Section 4

“Who buys this stuff”? I asked with a hitch in my voice anxiously trying to hide my emotions. “Why don’t you tell me” she said with a half smile on her face. “Seriously though I can only tell you what little I know and or speculate. There is a wide spectrum of adults out there based on my mail order business” Grace explained. “On one end of the spectrum you have a group that enjoys the wearing of diapers and plastic pants, I am not sure if they actually use them or not. The other end of the spectrum is the adults that seem to like to dress up as babies, or toddlers. It took me awhile to find a physiologist who knew something about this and she shared what little she knew. My biggest concern” Grace explained “was that this had nothing to do with children. She assured me that it did not but that is was one of those fetishes that very little information was shared.” Grace went on to explain about “DL’s” or diaper lovers and “AB’s” adult babies.

This was getting too close to home; as I stood up I tried to adjust my pants to hide my physical excitement and said “all this is fascinating but I really must go” as I edged to the door. “I think so too” Grace said as her hand rested on my arm preventing me from passing through the open door. “Please take a minute and listen to me” Grace asked “I know nothing about my customers, or about any of this lifestyle” she stated. “As I said I don’t get any walk-in customers and absolutely no feedback on my products. I don’t know if I am making these correctly, if I have the right styles, if there to frilly not enough I have no clue as to what sells and what doesn’t and have no way of finding out” Grace said in exasperation.

Grace looked me in the eye and said “I want you to be a product tester and do some market research for me” I opened my mouth but Grace said quickly “hush I don’t want you to answer, come back in an hour after you have thought about it, if you don’t come back I will know your answer” and she pushed me out the door and closed and locked behind me. In a haze I managed to make it to my car and pulled out of the parking lot. Driving down the road I had no idea where I was headed, I pulled into a convenience store and went in and bought a soda and a pack of cigarettes. I had been quitting for years and given what I had just experienced one more pack would not kill me.

As I climbed back into the car I realized that I had left the shop with a catalog, it was lying on the seat right next to me. I lit a cigarette and opened the catalog. I spent the next thirty minuets flipping through the pages reading the descriptions of the various panties and clothing. I glanced at the car clock and realized that it had been an hour since I left the shop, moment of truth I thought to myself.

I turned out of the parking lot thinking I would just drive by the shop on my way out of town, fat chance as I found myself out of my car opening the door to the shop. Grace was behind the counter taping up the top of one of the two boxes on the counter. Both boxes were rather large and she flashed me a quick smile as she came around the counter. “I am so glad you decided to help me out” she said with a smile and a hug. “I can’t pay you” she said, “you being a U.S citizen and I am a Canadian company, but I can provide you with samples.” I could feel my face flush as I realized what was in the boxes. Grace just smiled and said, “Here is how I think we can make this work. I have included my email address and phone number along with a series of questions that should get you started. Then I would appreciate any additional information that you could share with me on this lifestyle and any recommendations for changes or new product line. I’ll ship you new products from time to time or you can come up and get them which ever your more comfortable with” she said with a slight smile. “I’ll help you load these boxes and then I really must get back to work” she said as she grabbed one of the boxes of the counter.

I picked up the other box and followed her out the door to the car, both boxes filled the trunk I turned to Grace and she gave me a hug and said “I can’t thank you enough” and smiling turned and walked back into the shop. I got in my car and pulled away, realizing that I had not said a word to her after arriving back at the shop, just as well I thought to myself I am not sure if my voice would have worked.

The drive over the boarder was uneventful as I passed through customs quickly and headed down the highway. With more traffic it took me a little longer to get home and I pulled into the drive way around 2:30 on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

I quickly opened the garage and then popped the trunk and grabbed one of the boxes and brought it in through the garaged and set it on the kitchen counter. Quickly turning I retrieved the last box and placed it beside the first. After closing up the garage I moved the boxes into the living room. Grabbing a beer from the fridge I lit a cigarette and set down in front of the boxes, heart racing and imagination running wild. I selected the box that had Graces writing on it, “note inside” is what it said.

I opened the box and pulled out the sheet of paper on top, the note was from Grace. Grace had listed her email address as well as her phone number along with a number of questions she was hoping to answer.

As I pulled the first stack out of the box I realized that Grace had been busy during my decision making process. The first shrink wrapped package contained twenty five or so cloth diapers. As I flipped through the stack I could see that Grace had supplied one or two diapers of each type, none however were just plain white.

The next stack contained a number of hourglass diapers as well as a number of pull-up diapers again, no white ones in fact most looked to be on the little girlishly side. The next stack was a little larger then the last two and was not much heaver. I unwrapped the plastic wrapping and discovered no less the 30 or so pairs of plastic panties. I pulled the top pair off the stack. They were water proof with butter soft plastic covered with a white nylon cover with rows of pink lace. Most of the rest were just as elegant.

The final stack in the first box was a bulky package wrapped in brown packing paper. As I unwrapped the paper I could tell it was clothing of some sort, as the paper came off I was holding an extremely thick hourglass diaper along with a matching triple thick pull-up diaper along with an especially large pair of plastic panties.

After I arranged the diapers and plastic panties on the couch I realized that I had ended up with more diapers then I had given away that morning. I grabbed the final box and placed it on the coffee table.

I opened the box and glanced inside, pulling out the first of many dresses that were stacked in the box. Under the dresses were many baby-doll tops, panties as well as socks shoes and all the accessories. At the very bottom of the box was a supply of diaper pins, baby powder, baby bottles and a couple of pacifiers, all the things that any mother would need.

Details will be provided in another story… I promise.

Diaperedone · « **Reply #1 on:** October 02, 2008, 07:17:07 PM »

Section 5

Fast forward to present day….

For the third time in ten days I find myself stripping wet sheets off my bed and letting my mattress air out while I quickly wash and dry the bed clothing. It’s frustrating and exciting at the same time. I guess I should explain.

After a 2nd marriage failed, a great deal due to my wife catching me in diapers and not being able to deal with them I decided that it was time to over come my obsession and put them behind me.

After two years of therapy and many ugly days I had been “diaper free” for six months when I met Trish. We met on the golf course, neither of us really looking to date and it just happened. Trish is a cardiac nurse at the local medical center and we hit it off.

A couple of months ago Trish moved in with me and things were running smoothly. We got to know each other better and I shared some things of my childhood with her but the diaper thing she had no clue. We both accepted each others past as just that the past and did not delve into the details.

Two weeks ago we awoke to a wet bed, both of us had a lot to drink the night before and we were somewhat embarrassed about the whole thing and by the end of the day we had swept it away without talking about it.

There was no doubt the second time it happened, again Trish had a fair amount to drink the night before, this time she awoke in the middle of the night with wet panties and her side of the bed soaked. She finished up in the toilet and grabbed some towels and laid them down on her side of the bed and went back to sleep.

I awoke in the early morning and could feel the wet mattress seeping over to my side of the bed. Discovering the towels I put two and two together and realized what had happened. I am an early riser anyway and since I was awake I got out of bed and made some coffee. It was just after 6:00 AM on a Sat, neither one of us had to work that day.

Trish awoke a couple hours later and sheepishly walked into the kitchen and apologized for the wet bed. I blew it off and said “it happens” and let it go.

My chance finally came last night; again Trish had a bit to much too drink and more or less passed out. I crawled into bed and snuggled up close and she did not move an inch. I slipped my hand between her panties and she continued to snore. I figured I was safe at that point, I slipped my pen-is under her panties and after a few minutes let lose a stream of pee into her panties.

The warmth of my pee triggered a chain reaction. Trish let lose a stream the flooded the bed, my shorts, hell we were lucky that the bed did not float away. I kept waiting for her to wake up but must have drifted off to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night I heard her awake with a start, disgusted with herself she again grabbed a couple of towels and laid them down on the bed and went back to sleep.

This time I was the last one up, I crawled out of bed jumped into the shower and rinsed off. Coming out to the kitchen I found Trish on the phone with someone from work, I heard her say “yes I’ll be by this afternoon to pick them up and don’t forget the plastic pants”.

I poured a cup of coffee and kissed her good morning, not saying a word about the wet bed. I figured if she wanted to discuss it I would let her bring it up. A little while latter Trish said she had to pick up some things out in town and that she would be back later. I told her I would catch up on laundry (meaning our wet bed) and to take her time.

So once again for the third time in ten days I find myself stripping wet sheets from my bed and letting the mattress dry out. I feel a sense of uncertainty, and excitement with a little bit of fear where this might take us.

To be continued….

Section 6

Trish took off to run her errands while I striped the bed and started laundry. I pulled the mattress from the frame and stood it up outside on the back deck letting it air dry. I decided to run down to the local Wall Mart and pick up a water proof mattress cover, while I was there I passed through the baby section and came across a changing pad. I thought to myself that this would be better then towels and so I picked up one for additional protection.

I got home before Trish and manhandled the mattress into its protective cover. I opened the changing pad and realized that I had picked up a very girly changing pad, pictures of toddlers dancing in sundresses in a field of yellow daisies. I placed the changing pad on Trish’s side of the bed and waited for the bedding to get done.

Having picked up the house earlier there was not much for me to do inside. I pulled a couple of T-bones out of the freezer and headed into the back yard. I did not hear Trish come home and about an hour latter she came off the deck holding a cold beer.

I followed her inside. I told her I was going to take a shower before starting dinner and headed down the hall to the master bedroom. I noticed the bed was made as I undressed and threw my clothes in the laundry, as I passed the closet I caught site of a plastic bag, it had the logo of the medical center that Trish worked at.

I finished up my shower and slipped into a pair of sweat pants and T-shirt and headed into the kitchen. Trish was busy making a salad for dinner and I stepped out on the deck and fired up the BBQ. Looking out over the private backyard I thought to myself how lucky I was and how happy my life was with Trish.

I felt Trish come up behind me, as she slipped her arms around my waist I heard her ask. “What’s up baby boy”? One of Trish pet names for me, especially if she is feeling affectionate,” just thinking how lucky my life has turned out with you in it” I said as I held her arms around my waist.

I finished the T-Bones and placed them on a platter, Trish had already set the patio table, pouring the wine as I place the meat on the table. We had a lovely dinner as the sun waned and dusk crept over the back yard. Trish had cleared the table and we set in the shadows finishing the bottle of merlot.

I could sense there was something on Trish’s mind as she pushed back her chair, slipping further into the shadows. “You know I’ve been thinking” Trish started out. “About this problem that we have been having at night” she continued. “I don’t think either of us is willing to admit to ourselves let alone each other that we might have a bedwetting problem”. I started to open my mouth, “no hear me out” Trish said as she hushed me up. “I think I have a solution that will help us figure out which of us has a problem and then we can deal with it”. “I think we both know that this problem is not going to ruin our relationship” she said with love and affection in her voice. “Listen to my idea before you say anything” Trish asked in a quite voice.

“I stopped at the medical center today and picked up some incontinent products”, I just stared at her. Trish thinking I may not know the meaning of the word went on to explain, “You know… diapers. I think we should flip a coin, the loser will wear the diapers tonight, if the bed and the diapers are dry in the morning then we switch places tomorrow night”, Trish explained. “We may not find out right away and we can continue to switch places until we do” she said, “that way it’s fair to the both of us. What do you think?” she asked.

To be continued….

Section 7:

My heart was racing as my brain was screaming out a warning. I need to tread very carefully otherwise I might expose the desires that had been building up unconsciously in my head these past few weeks.

“You want me to wear diapers?” I asked in what I hoped was a shocking voice. “Only if you lose the coin toss silly” she said with a smile. “It’s only fair and if we don’t have a problem tonight then it would be my turn tomorrow night, come on no one will know” Trish said in a pleading voice.

I hoped I was quite for an appropriate time and left the impression that I was struggling with the decision. My brain was running at a million miles an hour as my imagination ran ramped. “I guess” I said with hesitation, “How do we do this?” Trish explained, “I’ll toss the coin at the French doors, you call it before it lands on the ground, if you lose then you ware the diapers to bed tonight. If you win then I ware them to bed tonight” simple and fair Trish said. “Are you ready?” she said as she tossed the coin. “Tails” I yelled as the coin hit the French doors. We both pushed back our chairs and rushed to the silver coin lying on the deck. I looked and then looked again, squatting on my calves I could not believe what I saw. “Heads, I win” Trish said with a slight giggle. “Two out of three?” I asked in desperation.

“I don’t think so” Trish said with a smile, “besides it’s no big thing and I will probably be in them tomorrow night.” Trish set back down and poured the last of the bottle of wine into our glasses.

We sat quietly, not sure where to go or what to say about the condition that I would soon find myself in. I got up and went into the bathroom, sitting on the toilet I thought about what could happen tonight. I resigned myself to letting it happen… what ever that would be. Getting up I ran into Trish in the hallway, “I was thinking a dip in the hot tub would be nice” she said, like any other night. I said “sure why not” trying to return to a normal evening and not worry about the end of the night. No such luck as I followed Trish into the bedroom.

“You know” she said with a giggle “I did not get any little swimmers for you baby boy.” “Very funny” I said, pretending to be upset. Trish stopped and circled her arms around me holding me tight. “Oh honey, I was just trying to lighten up the mood” she said as she tilted my chin up so she could look into my eyes. I had a lopsided smile on my face, “I know” I said and let it go at that.

We changed, or rather undressed and grabbed our robes as neither of us wears any clothing into the tub. I followed Trish out to the deck and flipped open the tub and we both slid under the water. Trish reached up to the electric Colman cooler that sits by the tub and grabbed a couple of beers. “Drink up baby boy” she said with a smile, “Not sure I should” I said with a grin, “I may not make it through the night.” We both giggled as I grabbed the beer.

We sat in the dark and cuddled, talking about nothing, just enjoying each others presence. After finishing the second beer and yawing I squeezed her lightly and sighed “alright lets get this over with” and crawled out of the tub.

Trish slipped her hand into mine and whispered, “It’s alright, and I’ll get you ready for bed.” I followed her down the hall, resigned to my fate and letting her take the lead. Trish guided me into the bedroom, grabbing a towel she gently dried me off and led me over to the bed. It was then I realized she had managed to prepare prior to getting in the tub.

Lying on the bed was the changing pad that I had picked up from Wall-Mart earlier that day. I started to say something and Trish quickly put her finger on my lips, pressing me gently onto the bed. “Close your eyes and it will be all over in just a second.” Trish whispered.

To be continued….

Section 8:

I shut my eyes, thankful that I would not have to watch, hoping that Trish would not see the thrill and excitement that was building up. I heard her rummage in the closet, “I brought home some things from the medical center” Trish explained as I felt her climb back on to the bed.

“Roll back baby boy” she said in a whisper as she pushed back my legs rolling my hips up off the bed, pressing my legs behind my head. I could feel something being spread out underneath my rolled back hips.

Trish released my hips ever so slightly and allowed my pelvis to rest gently on the bed. I could feel something soft and fluffy under my bum. I knew then that I was lying on a cloth diaper. I started to get aroused, as my mind drifted back to years prior when cloth diapers and frilly plastic panties were a major part of my life.

This is what I had been afraid of. Trish would have to be blind not to realize my excitement to the situation. “Some things never change” Trish said with a soft giggle as she rubbed lotion over my semi-erect state. The familiar smell of Johnson’s baby powder drifted up from my groin as I felt the gentle falling of powder floating across my hips.

I felt Trish gather the cloth between my legs; with a firm tug my physical embarrassment was soon covered. I could hear Trish humming softly a hauntingly familiar tune from the distant past. As I laid there with my eyes closed as the cloth was pulled firm around me I could picture the classic v forming from my groin moving upward.

No stranger to the sensation as I had experienced this feeling many times before, however this time was different. In the past I was always alone, only in my imagination did I have someone tenderly wrapping me snuggly in protection.

As I lay their contently I realized that the diaper that Trish was using was extremely thick, much thicker than I had experienced in the past. I felt Trish’s hand smooth out the front of my diaper, a light squeeze and a soft giggle as she discovered my aroused state. I sensed her reaching for something and heard the unmistakable sound of plastic pants. It’s amazing how much louder an adult size pair of plastic pants is compared to toddler’s pants.

Trish guided my feet into the leg openings and slowly pulled the pants up my legs. I could feel the soft plastic as it tickled the hair on my legs and thighs. Pulling them up around my thickly clad bottom, Trish ran her finger around the leg and waist openings, making sure everything was tucked inside the pants.

I so wanted to open my eyes and see what I was wearing, I started to open my eyes as Trish quickly reached over and flipped the lights off. Trish slipped under the covers and pulled me gently to her. What could I do, I cradled in her arms as her arms held me, her hand pressing hard on my encased bottom. She held me to her chest, pulling open her baby doll nightie guiding my lips to her full breast.

I drifted off to a long ago and far away place and must have slept. I am not sure what awoke me. I laid still as I tried to figure out what I had heard or why I was awake. I let my hand slip behind me; reaching out to touch Trish and make sure she was in bed. I could not feel her and I was about to turn when I sensed someone or something creeping through the bedroom door.

I was about ready to jump up and confront them when I realized that it was Trish. I lay still not wanting her to realize that I was awake. I wondered what she was doing awake as I got the time from the alarm by my bed. 2:30 I might have been asleep for an hour, not much more.

Trish walked slowly holding something in her hands out in front of her. I felt her slid into bed beside me. Trying not to disturb me as she settled in, I felt her find my hand under the covers. Trish slowly pulled my hand over to her side of the bed.

I am not sure why I remained still and feigned sleep but I did. Trish waited until she was sure that her actions had not awakened me, I heard a soft whisper “payback” as I felt my hand slip into warm water. I was shocked, that old child hood trick we all talk about with a bowl of warm water really does work. I experienced an overwhelming need to pee. I was barley able to overcome the pressing need to empty my bladder as my mind raced to comprehend what was going on. Trish for some unknown reason wanted to ensure that I lost the bet and woke up in wet diapers.

The urge was still pressing but I knew that I could overcome it if I chose too. The thought that Trish wanted to find me in a wet diaper in the morning was exciting and with little effort and a loud sigh I released my bladder. Trish quickly lay down, as if she had been asleep all the while.

I let out a fake soft snore lying on my back and release the wine and beer that had been building up in my bladder. I laid there, extremely thankful that Trish had selected such thick diapers. Had she put me in disposables or anything less we would be floating in a wet bed about now. As it was, I was saturated, encased in a warm, wet snug blanket covering my bum.

I felt Trish’s hand pressing on my warm wet diaper and let out a natural sigh of contentment as I drifted off to sleep, the last thing I recall was Trish whispering “sweet dreams baby girl”

To be continued.

Section 9

Now normally I am the first to awake and get out of bed, regardless if it’s a workday or a weekend but this Sunday morning was different. I awoke at my usual time shortly after 6:00 AM and lay quietly. My mind slowly drifted over the previous nights events, as my hands made there way to my diapered bum. I heard movement in the front part of the house and I turned realizing that Trish was not in bed. Rolling over on my back, my mind took inventory of the previous nights events, my hands had already confirmed that I was in diapers and plastic pants, wet diapers at that. I recalled the warm water episode in the middle of the night, and realized that Trish wanted me to be wet, that was the reason that she was up and out of bed so early.

As I lay there and took stock of the situation my bladder was sending signals to my brain. Obviously I had wet my diaper at least once, and from the feel probably at least once more.

I kicked back the covers and almost peed my paints, with my eyes closed the previous night and Trish quickly turning out the lights I had been unable to actually see the condition that I was in.

A light pink bubble enchased my bum. My hands confirmed what my eyes were telling my brain. The plastic panties, given the color and the lacy fabric that was covering them could be called nothing else but panties. I lifted the front of the panties and discovered a light pink diaper beneath, slightly yellowed with my urine.

The diaper pins caught my eye, larger then normal pins to compensate for the thick material the heads were different. I tried to open the pins so that I could get as far away from these pink diapers before Trish realized I was awake. The heads would not release the pins. They were effectively locked and would not allow me to open them. I attempted to push the diaper down over my bum, thinking that I could slide them off and be done with this predicament. No such luck, I discovered that Trish had been much more efficient last night then I realized, there were actually two sets of diaper pins, the top set that I had already discovered and then one at the bottom. It was the bottom one that was causing all the problems.

“You would be surprised how many patients attempt that” my head snapped to the voice. Trish lazily rested against the door jam, a devilish gleam in her eye and a half smile on her face.

Trish set down on the bed beside me, her hand resting on my wet diapers, “I guess we know who has the problem now, don’t we” she asked with a smile. “No thanks to your little trick with the warm water” I said. “You want to call a spade a spade? At least I used water” Trish said as I quickly realized that my trick the night before had not gone unnoticed.

“Alright, truce how about helping me out of these” I asked with a grin. “Nope, you can wait until after breakfast” she said with a smile as she set a cup of coffee on the nightstand and walked out of the room.

I setup and slid my feet to the floor, enough movement to cause my bladder to start complaining. I realized it was going to be a least an hour or more before I was free of my situation. Not seeing any other option I relaxed enough and forced my bladder to release. The sensation was phenomenal, the warm wetness spread slowly from front to back. Like most mornings my bladder was extremely full and it seemed like forever before the stream slowly subsided.

I stood slowly and walked to the closet, the mirrored doors reflected a full grown man in an obviously wet pink diaper. There could be no doubt that I had a very wet diaper and that I had used it more then once.

The warm wetness was rubbing gently causing an arousal enhanced by the mere fact of what I was wearing. I grabbed a pair of pajama pants from the closet and leaned against the wall struggling to get them over my diapered bum.

No such luck….

Section 10

I grabbed a flannel outdoor work shirt and slipped it on, at least it would keep me a little warmer; however it only came about halfway down my diaper and did nothing to hide what I was wearing. I thought about getting back in bed and just waiting till Trish was through playing games but figured it would be that much longer.

I slowly walked down the hall toward the kitchen. The warm wetness continued to caress my manhood raising my level of excitement almost to an explosion point. Trish was sitting at the kitchen table using her laptop, her coffee beside her and a cup poured for me next to her. Trish glanced up and quickly flipped screens as I came up beside her.

My breathing must have betrayed my arousal. “Oh my” Trish said as her hand massaged my manhood. Pressing the warm wet folds tighter pushed me over the edge. A low moan escaped my lips as my body visibly shuddered. “Does my baby girl like that?” Trish asked as she continued to rub the front of my diapers while her other hand patted my thick bottom.

A groan of acknowledgment was all I could muster for a response as my legs slowly gave out as Trish guided my weak physically spent body onto her lap. Instinctively my head rested on her shoulder as she cradled me in her arms. I was glad that that my face was somewhat hidden as Trish whispered “Oh my baby girl you are definitely soaked” My face felt flushed as I realized that it was pretty obvious that my diaper had been used on more than one occasion.

Trish pulled me closer to her, slipping her robe back as she pulled me to her breast. Instinct took over as I gently took her enlarged nipple into my mouth. She gently rubbed my back cooing softly as my hand cupped her breast trying desperately to release the flow that was no longer available.

Trish’s other hand move to the front of my diapers, her cooing changed to soft moans as her nipple grew in my mouth. It wasn’t long and Trish gently pushed me off her lap, holding my hand she gently led me down the hall towards the bedroom, “come on sweetheart, it’s time for a change” as she entered the bedroom.

Trish laid the changing pad on the bed and guided me to it, pushing me back on the pad she gazed into my eyes. In the starkness of the morning sunlight with no covers to hide under we both realized that our relationship had changed. Trish’s eyes twinkled as she bent down and whispered “I love you baby girl” and kissed me deep and hard, as the heat built between us.

Trish scooted down my body, slipping the plastic panties down off my soaked diaper and slipping them off my feet. “My goodness you are soaked little girl” as she did what ever magic she had to on the diaper pins. Trish managed to undo one side of the diaper and pulled it back, revealing my excitement.

“Oh my” Trish said as she opened her robe, and with little warning guided my manhood inside her. Warm velvet walls encased my tool; her wetness betrayed her excitement as did our orgasm. Trish slumped on top of me holding me close as she sighed in contentment.

“Time to get you cleaned up sweetheart” she whispered with a sigh. “We have a long day” as she pulled my diaper off and pushed me towards the bathroom.

I slipped into the shower, my head reeling with the events of the last 12 hours. As I soaked the previous night events away I realized that I was on shaky ground. I had no idea when I lost the coin toss last night that I would be in the situation that I was in. It was almost as if Trish could look into my mind and sense my desires, desires that I had fought against these past two years. I finished the shower with an icy cold spray, my head clear and resigned to let this situation play out.

Diaperedone · « **Reply #2 on:** October 05, 2008, 06:34:44 PM »

Section 11

I shaved and went out to the bedroom, not sure what I would find. I could hear Trish in the kitchen fixing what smelled like breakfast. I glanced out the window about the same time I heard the rain hitting the roof. Grabbing a pair of sweats and a pullover I figured it was going to be an inside day.

I came into the kitchen. Trish was at the stove as I slipped up behind her and whispered in her ear, “Thank you my love”. Trish turned and wrapped her arms around me and kissed me deeply. “No thank you, there might be a lot more of that coming your way. We need to talk but after breakfast” Trish said with a gleam in her eyes.

Trish had poured a cup of coffee and placed the Sunday paper beside it. I set and scanned the front page, attempting to recreate our normal Sunday morning routine. Trish placed a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast in front of me, sliding in across from me with a similar plate.

“Honey can you pass me the salt and pepper” Trish said with a smile. I handed them over, with a smile on my face. “Breakfast is wonderful” I say with a sigh. I focused on the food at hand, trying to get my mind off the situation.

We both finished up about the same time, the rule is “He/She who cooks, does not do dishes” so I got up and cleared the table. It was a chance to prolong what I knew was coming. Talk….

I clean the plates, the cups, the frying pan, the counter top. I was getting ready to tackle the floors when I heard Trish start to laugh. “You know honey. I love you with all my heart and soul. I stopped and looked at her. We can do this the hard way, or we can have a very open and honest conversation about the desires that surfaced last night” Trish said with a loving smile on her face.

I put the dish rag down, “ok so how does this play out? I talk and you figure out what a sick-o I am and were done?” I said in frustration. “HEY HEY HEY!!!! You think you were the only one that was aroused last night?” Trish yelled with a flash of anger in her eyes. “I am not sure what I stumbled into but God Damn I was so wet I should have been wearing that diaper. If it’s something that we both enjoy how about exploring” Trish said as she slammed her hand on the table.

I looked at Trish in amazement, not sure yet what I believed or how to even start to explain. Trish read the uncertainty on my face. “How about this, we each take turns asking yes or no questions? You can only answer yes or no without explanations and you can get up and walk away anytime” Trish explained. “You get to go first”.

I thought about it as I reached over and pulled a cigarette from the pack in front of Trish. “Ok” I said as I lit the cigarette, pulling a deep lung full of smoke and letting it out slow. “Did you really enjoy last night?” I asked in skepticism. Trish smiled, “YES! Silly question” she said with a wink.

“My turn, were you happy that you lost the coin toss?” Trish asked quietly reaching out across the table to squeeze my hand. There was a long pause before I answered “Yes” there it was out in the open. I looked up feeling Trish’s eyes on me; I could tell my face was flushed. “Did you want me to wet my diaper?” I asked lamely. “Another silly question, but yes” Trish said with a smirk on her face. I sat staring at my hands my brain trying to take it all in, I could not think of any questions to ask Trish.

“Your turn” Trish said gently across the table, I just shook my head. “Ok I have a few” as she gently placed her hand under my chin and raised my eyes to hers. “Do you believe that I love you and would not hurt you in anyway?” “Yes” I breathed. “Good. Assuming that the age of 18 is an adult, have you ever worn a diaper as an adult before last night?” Trish asked softly. I pushed back my chair as Trish placed her hand on my arm. As I turned with my coffee cup to the counter I whispered “yes” not a word was spoken as I deliberately labored over the process of filling my cup. I felt Trish’s arms around me as she whispered, “I love you” I slowly turned, my face burning but Trish smiled encouragingly from her chair.

I sat back down as Trish patted my hand, “its ok” she said gently “I have a few more and then we can stop. Do you have a physical need to wear diapers? Or do you just enjoy the feeling?” My face was burning up as I said in a voice from the bottom of my gut, “that’s two questions. No and yes” I answered as I tried to raise my coffee cup to my lips with shaking hands.

“Honey your going to burn yourself” Trish said as she gently put my coffee cup on the table and squeezed my hands in hers. “You don’t like little children do you” I pulled my hands away as I read the concern on her face. “NO I AM NOT A PERVERT! At least not a child molester I said with a lopsided half smile. “Sorry but you know I had to ask Trish said gently. Boy or Girl?” I looked at her quizzically not sure what she was asking. Chuckling “I noticed something last night and this morning” Trish explained. “When you wore your diapers in the past, were you a boy or a girl in your mind?”

There it was. I had already bared my soul so to speak, based on the answers to the previous questions I felt Trish had a pretty good idea what she was dealing with. Our lives had already changed whether we realized it or not, answering this question could change it again. “Boy or Girl” Trish asked in a soft whisper.

“Girl” I said as I pushed back my chair and got up from the table, “and we are done.” Her hand rested on my arm, “I know your not gay” she said with a smile, “bi?” she asked with a doubt on her face.

“Hetero all the way” I said as I pushed past her and walked out onto the deck. The fall rain was falling softly on the deck, enough to quite the neighborhood. I glanced at my watch and was amazed to see it was just after noon. I stepped out from the overhang, letting the soft rain settle my thoughts. I looked skyward letting the rain mix with my tears as I wondered if I was about to lose another relationship with my obsession.

Section 12

I heard the French doors open, and felt Trish behind me as her arms wrapped around me, placing a beer on the deck rail in front of me. Hoping the rain had masked my tears I allowed Trish to pull me around. I looked at her with a lopsided smile on my face. “OH MY GOD, honey this was never meant to hurt you” as she pulled me close and held me. Taking my hand she led me inside and out of the rain.

Trish guided us to the couch, pulling me down a pressing my head to her chest. “Honey I am so sorry” she whispered as she stroked my head, “I love you so much and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. We won’t talk about this ever again if that’s what you want, she said and she held me close. Is that what you want?” Trish whispered. I took a deep breath and slowly shook my head no.

I untangled myself slowly, leaving Trish in the corner of the couch as I scooted forward. Latching on to the beer that miraculously found its way from the deck, I took a long pull. Trish was gently rubbing my back as I faced away from her.

With a deep breath and a shy hesitant voice I slowly bared my soul. I told her about my first marriage, how I found out that my wife could not keep her panties on. How I was left in the evening with so much time on my hands. My voice got softer when I explained about the letter I read in “Penthouse” and the wife putting her husband into a diaper and how that letter started me down a long road of discovery.

It took me awhile but I described my years as a single parent, how I built up my collection of diapers and baby things. The research and product testing that I had done and the articles I had written for various forms. Trish never said a word, her hand never left my back as she patted and rubbed encouragement when ever I hesitated.

I lit one more cigarette as I brought Trish up to the present day. How my second marriage had failed, I admitted that I was as much to blame as she was. Different addictions and obsessions, hers was alcohol and gambling mine an obsession with diapers. I explained to Trish that I had gone through two years of therapy trying to rid myself of these obsessions and up until this weekend thought I was doing ok.

“So now you know” I said as I got up from the couch and looked at her for the first time since I had started my long history lesson. She looked at me with a warm smile on her face and love in her eyes. “I love you” was all she said.

I could feel my eyes start to tear up and I whispered, “thank you” as I stumbled down the hall to the bathroom. When I was done I splashed cold water on my face and dried my hands, with a deep breath I ventured from the protective cave of the bathroom.

Trish was in the kitchen, fussing with something going into the oven. I glanced at the clock and realized that I had been talking for 3 hours, and it was just after five. The rain had stopped and the late fall afternoon sun was trying to break through as I once again escaped to the deck.

Trish came up behind me, wrapping her arms tightly around me as I felt her head rest gently on my back. I slowly turned in her arms, letting out a huge sigh. Trish smiled up at me, “feel better” she asked with a soft kiss. “I think so” I said with a half smile.

“Want to know what I think? I think I am a very lucky woman. I have a man who I love very much, who loves and trust me enough to share his most intimate feelings and desires. Desires and fantasies that if he will let me I want to explore and be involved with” as she kissed me again, much deeper and longer. I held her close and whispered hesitantly “are you sure?” “You bet your diapered bottom… Baby Girl” she said with a laugh and headed into finish dinner.

I finished my beer and headed through the door just as Trish was placing the baked halibut on the table. “You could open a bottle of wine for us honey” she said as she got the table setup for dinner. I went to the wine cooler and selected a bottle of white wine and proceeded to cork it, placing it on the table. “All set” Trish said as she dished up plates for the both of us. The halibut was wonderful and I told her so as I placed another bite in my mouth.

“Would you be uncomfortable discussing some things about our discovery today over dinner?” she asked sweetly knowing that I had my mouth full. I took my time, a sip of wine to wash down the last of the halibut. “No I guess not” I said quietly. “What do you want to know” I asked somewhat embarrassed

“Whoa, whoa. You said you have done some research on this, right? Talk to me like your giving me the results. It might make it easer for you to approach it this way.” Trish said with a smile. I took a moment to collect my thoughts, as Trish picked up the remnants of dinner. Grabbing my hand and the wine she pulled me in the living room and on to the couch. This time I was in the corner and she sat in the middle on the edge.

Section 13

I made one last attempt to organize my thoughts as I started my dissertation.

“You have been a nurse for over twenty years, and I am sure you have heard the term “infantilism” I asked Trish and she nodded her head. “Well in actuality there are two clinical terms that attempt to describe the behavior. “Infantilism” and “Paraphilic Infantilism”, I say attempt as both definitions are out dated and do little to explain the behavior. The DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) describes paraphilic disorders as conditions characterized by recurrent intense sexual urges, fantasies or behaviors involving unusual object, activities or situations. So in other words, if you get turned on by rubber boots, socks, latex these would be considered parahilic” I explained to Trish. She nodded her head as she filled my wine glass. I leaned back more relaxed and continued.

First you have to realize, there is very little information on this behavior in the clinical sense. What I am going to explain is mostly speculation based on what I have discovered, what I believe and a little bit of clinical input from a mental health specialist that I have worked with the past two years” I said with some embarrassment. “You have actually gone to a counselor?” Trish asked. “Oh yes, I still she her occasionally” I said. Trish just looked at me as I sipped my wine and gathered my thoughts.

“There are a couple of terms you need to understand” I said as I continued. “The first term is “Adult Baby” or an AB. This person enjoys regressing to a very young age; the age varies from newborn to about 5 or 6 very rarely past that age. These individuals want to be treated as babies, in every way. From dressing, being feed, bathed, cuddled you name it they want to be cared for just as you would an infant. Very rarely is this condition in conjunction with sexual pleasure.

The second term you need to understand is “diaper lover” or DL. This person enjoys all aspects of wearing a diaper. This often means using the diaper in some aspect for what it was designed for”. I said looking at Trish. “Really?” Trish asked. “From wetting to defecating or somewhere in between, in most case these individual do derive some sexual pleasure from this process. As you can guess this is where the term “Paraphilic Infantilism” comes from.

I took a break and filled my wine glass. Glancing up at Trish I could see that she was wrapped up in the conversation. She looked at me and said with a sly smile, “So which one do you prefer?” I looked at her my face red as a beat.

“What I have just described,” I continued. “Is the extremes of both ends of this community. There is a wide variation within this spectrum. As for demographics” I said. “As I said very little is known about this community, what I can tell you is from my experience in this community as well as review of sales records from various online sites.

This community is made up mostly of white heterosexual males even those that chose to change gender in these situations.” I said smiling at Trish. “Most are between the age of 18 to 60 years of age, many in mid to high level management positions. Most are from developed countries such as, United States, Canada, and Great Britain and others” I said. Trish looked at me puzzled. “My physiologist has a theory on this” I said. “She seems to think that the social rules of a developed society put negative connotations during the development of children.

Developed societies push children to grow up earlier then 3rd world countries. Societies in developed countries push for children to be potty trained early, to segregate gender from birth by clothing, play toys and so forth. 3rd World countries have a longer process in the development, potty training is not enforced, children are raised by the whole community, and clothing is dependent on what is most available and efficient. Gender roles are acknowledged later in the development of child and predominately through peer development. Few underdeveloped countries have large gay populations.

As for the large number of mid-level executives that participate, my shrink seems to think that it’s turned into a way of releasing stress. Her theory is they make decisions every day and that by taking on this role even for a short time they can put themselves into a position of absolute no responsibility, no stress.

So there you have it, you know as much as I do” I said half drunk as I swallowed the last bit of wine in my glass.

Trish set there for a few moments, digesting the information.

“So” Trish said with a smile, “You still have not told me which one you prefer. I already know that your 100% male and that when you are in whatever role you are in you’re a girl but are you an AB or a DL” she asked with a wink.

I was just drunk enough to answer her. “For me, it’s all about the diapers and dressing up as a little girl. I am not into the adult baby role but I do enjoy a set of thick diapers and dressing in frilly baby dresses” I said with a drunken smile.

Trish giggled, “Great I get to shop” she said with a smile. “But not tonight” she said as she grabbed my hand and guided me back to the bedroom.

Diaperedone · « **Reply #3 on:** October 12, 2008, 02:52:21 PM »

Section 13

I made one last attempt to organize my thoughts as I started my dissertation.

“You have been a nurse for over twenty years, and I am sure you have heard the term “infantilism” I asked Trish and she nodded her head. “Well in actuality there are two clinical terms that attempt to describe the behavior. “Infantilism” and “Paraphilic Infantilism”, I say attempt as both definitions are out dated and do little to explain the behavior. The DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) describes paraphilic disorders as conditions characterized by recurrent intense sexual urges, fantasies or behaviors involving unusual object, activities or situations. So in other words, if you get turned on by rubber boots, socks, latex these would be considered parahilic” I explained to Trish. She nodded her head as she filled my wine glass. I leaned back more relaxed and continued.

First you have to realize, there is very little information on this behavior in the clinical sense. What I am going to explain is mostly speculation based on what I have discovered, what I believe and a little bit of clinical input from a mental health specialist that I have worked with the past two years” I said with some embarrassment. “You have actually gone to a counselor?” Trish asked. “Oh yes, I still she her occasionally” I said. Trish just looked at me as I sipped my wine and gathered my thoughts.

“There are a couple of terms you need to understand” I said as I continued. “The first term is “Adult Baby” or an AB. This person enjoys regressing to a very young age; the age varies from newborn to about 5 or 6 very rarely past that age. These individuals want to be treated as babies, in every way. From dressing, being feed, bathed, cuddled you name it they want to be cared for just as you would an infant. Very rarely is this condition in conjunction with sexual pleasure.

The second term you need to understand is “diaper lover” or DL. This person enjoys all aspects of wearing a diaper. This often means using the diaper in some aspect for what it was designed for”. I said looking at Trish. “Really?” Trish asked. “From wetting to defecating or somewhere in between, in most case these individual do derive some sexual pleasure from this process. As you can guess this is where the term “Paraphilic Infantilism” comes from.

I took a break and filled my wine glass. Glancing up at Trish I could see that she was wrapped up in the conversation. She looked at me and said with a sly smile, “So which one do you prefer?” I looked at her my face red as a beat.

“What I have just described,” I continued. “Is the extremes of both ends of this community. There is a wide variation within this spectrum. As for demographics” I said. “As I said very little is known about this community, what I can tell you is from my experience in this community as well as review of sales records from various online sites.

This community is made up mostly of white heterosexual males even those that chose to change gender in these situations.” I said smiling at Trish. “Most are between the age of 18 to 60 years of age, many in mid to high level management positions. Most are from developed countries such as, United States, Canada, and Great Britain and others” I said. Trish looked at me puzzled. “My physiologist has a theory on this” I said. “She seems to think that the social rules of a developed society put negative connotations during the development of children.

Developed societies push children to grow up earlier then 3rd world countries. Societies in developed countries push for children to be potty trained early, to segregate gender from birth by clothing, play toys and so forth. 3rd World countries have a longer process in the development, potty training is not enforced, children are raised by the whole community, and clothing is dependent on what is most available and efficient. Gender roles are acknowledged later in the development of child and predominately through peer development. Few truly underdeveloped countries have large gay populations, although many have bi-sexual populations.

As for the large number of mid-level executives that participate, my shrink seems to think that it’s turned into a way of releasing stress. Her theory is they make decisions every day and that by taking on this role even for a short time they can put themselves into a position of absolute no responsibility, no stress.

So there you have it, you know as much as I do” I said half drunk as I swallowed the last bit of wine in my glass.

Trish set there for a few moments, digesting the information.

“So” Trish said with a smile, “You still have not told me which one you prefer. I already know that you’re 100% male and that when you are in whatever role you are in you’re a girl but are you an AB or a DL” she asked with a wink.

I was just drunk enough to answer her. “For me, it’s all about the diapers and dressing up as a little girl. I am not into the adult baby role but I do enjoy a set of thick diapers and dressing in frilly baby dresses” I said with a drunken smile.

Trish giggled, “Great I get to shop” she said with a smile. “But not tonight” she said as she grabbed my hand and guided me back to the bedroom.

Section 14

Trish and I made slow passionate love gently and enjoyed each other’s bodies. As we finished, Trish whispered “hey baby girl, time to get you ready for bed. I drifted off to sleep secure in my thick diaper suc-king gently on a warm nipple.

The rest of the week was uneventful, my schedule is such that I am usually out of the house by 6:30 and home by about 5:30. Trish on the other hand works rotating 12 hour days and this week she was scheduled Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Because of her schedule we ate late on Monday and Tuesday, I normally cook the days she worked and we had light dinners both nights and curled up on the coach and watched a little T.V. Trish asked on Tuesday if I still had the research and articles that I had written on AB/DL’s. I told her they were on my computer in a directory call research… the password was “diapers” I didn’t think anything about it when I gave her the password.

On Wednesday I rolled out of bed, I realized that Trish was up, not unusual if she had to work but I remembered that she was off today. I threw a robe on and walked into the kitchen to the smell of fresh coffee. Trish was at the table reading some papers as I came in and wished her a good morning.

“You’re up bright and early considering you don’t have to work today” I said as I topped off her coffee. She closed up her portfolio as I set down at the table. “Catching up on things” she said with a smile. I figured they were work related, Trish is pretty good about following the HIPA rules and very rarely did she bring home work. We talked about our day, I had a couple of meetings throughout the day and Trish had a number of errands to get done.

We chatted about plans for dinner, Trish was not sure that she would be home when I got home but would pick up something for dinner. I showered and changed and was out the door shortly afterwards.

I did make it home early that afternoon, Trish was out and about and had not made it home as of yet. I changed into my sweats and headed into the home office that we kept.

I got caught up on the family email and checked on some things. I check the recently open files and realized that Trish had been logged on. She had accessed my research directory. No big deal as I had given her my password. I logged off and headed back into the kitchen just as the phone rang.

The caller ID showed Trish’s cell number, I hit the answer button. “What’s up” I said cheerfully, “Hey baby boy I am running a little late” Trish said, “but I have dinner so don’t start anything.” We chatted a few more moments and I hung up the phone, not sure if I want beer or wine I opted for the beer.

Trish walked through the door a half hour later, two large shopping bags and a pizza in hand. I was glad that I selected the beer. Trish put the pizza on the counter give me a big kiss, “need to change into something more comfortable” she said. I grabbed a couple of plates and two more beers from the fridge.

Trish came out of the bedroom, pajama bottoms and pullover on, “lets eat in front of the T.V” as she grabbed her plate and the beer and headed to the media room. We called it a media room since we did not have family living with us.

The gas fireplace provided a cozy warm backlight as Trish flipped on the 52 inch flat screen monitor. Pulling the coffee table up close we placed our pizza and beer on the table. Trish grabbed the controls and flipped the monitor over to the thin form PC that I had hooked up to our home network. The wireless keyboard and mouse were on the table.

Trish logged into the network. Being the geek that I am I had set the house up with a small network, I had a large central server in a small data closet in the garage along with the cable internet connection, each of the major rooms were wired to the closet as well as wireless access point in the house.

We had different logins but we shared the same directory area. Trish changed to my research directory and typed in the password. Before I realized what she was doing she brought up a list of url’s and clicked on the first one. “Babykins” adult diaper supply site opened on the 52 inch monitor. I almost choked on the beer in my mouth as I quickly swallowed the bite of pizza. Before I could say anything Trish asked in a light conversational voice. “So if I read your notes correctly, you had a large part in the selection of items on this site. This was the company that you did all the research for, correct?” “Yes” I answered softly. Trish squeezed my knee, “see that wasn’t hard” as she kissed my lightly.

“So” Trish asked, “where are all your things?” as she double clicked on the link for a pair of pink rumba panties. I glanced at the screen as all 52 inches displayed a pair of rumba panties, with my recommendations written underneath and signed as “DiaperedOne”

“I got rid of all of that stuff a couple of years ago” I said softly. “Didn’t figure I would ever have a need for it again, maybe I was wrong.”

“Too bad” she said as she flipped to another full screen image of a product. “Help me understand this product” Trish asked with a twinkly in her eye. I glanced at the screen and felt my face turn bright red. “Punishment Diaper and Panties” was the label on the picture. Under the picture was the caption. “Keep your little one inline, with the extra thick punishment diaper. So thick they can’t hide the fact they need a diaper, add the locking plastic panties ensures they stay on until you want them off”

Trish looked at me expectedly. I started to stammer and stutter, too embarrassed to say anything. Pulling me over to her she kissed me passionately. I was almost sitting on her lap as she wrapped her arms around me and guided my head to her shoulders. I laid there as she rubbed my back and whispered, “It’s alright honey, just want to understand better.”

I took a deep breath, seem like all I was doing lately was baring my soul.

“You have to understand”, I started out tentatively. “There is a lot of guilt associated with this behavior. I can’t speak for everyone in this lifestyle but it is difficult for me to openly admit that I enjoy this behavior. It’s much easier to be discovered or forced into this behavior then to openly admit that I like it, and it adds a little bit of excitement and fantasy to the process.” I set back and grabbed my beer from the table.

“Even in this situation” Trish asked. I gave her a quizzical look, “I’m not sure what you are asking” I said. With an exasperated look she said, “You do too. I am talking about me wanting to explore this with you.”

“Honey, I love you very much, but you’re still asking me to admit something to you that my ego has a hard time accepting. I’m not saying we can’t get there but it’s not going to be over night and it may take some prodding and pulling on your part. I said with a smile.

Trish smiled “I understand some of your writings a little better now” she chuckled as she flipped to the next product on the “Babykins” site. The screen filled with an extremely frilly dress, matching rumba panties. “I think I am going to have a blast shopping” Trish said with a giggle.

For the next half hour or so we looked through the various items on the website and then slipped off to bed. Trish was a wild woman. We made love until we were exhausted.

Thursday morning Trish was up and gone before I headed into work, this was to be my last day prior to a week’s vacation. It was one of those forced vacations; I had way too many hours and needed to burn up some time prior to the end of the year. I like taking vacation from Friday to Friday, the weekends are free days and if I should decide to add one more day I actually 3. I wrapped up a few loose ends at worked and managed to slip out early and was home by 2:00 PM.

Diaperedone · « **Reply #4 on:** October 18, 2008, 11:33:23 AM »

Section 15 Old Friends

Thursday night was a quite night for Trish and I. Trish got home late and had a long day at the medical center. She had lost a patient and was emotionally drained. We had a late diner and a couple glasses of wine and crawled into bed. That night I held her in my arms as she drifted off to sleep.

Friday morning came. I awoke to the smell of fresh coffee, something that I usually do for Trish. There by the bedside was a fresh cup of coffee. I got up showered, shaved and dressed in a pair of jeans and sweatshirt ready to start my vacation.

I walked into the kitchen just after 8:00 AM; Trish was sitting at the kitchen table reading the morning paper. After refilling my coffee I kissed her and sat down at the table. “You’re up and running early this morning” I said as I grabbed the front page, “what’s on your agenda today?”

“WE” Trish said as she emphasized we. Are going to visit an old friend and get reacquainted. “Oh” I said with surprise, “who’s that” I asked. “It’s a surprise” Trish said with a devious grin on her face. I shrugged and finished reading the paper and my coffee.

Trish got up from the table and put the coffee cups into the sink, “get going baby boy. We have things to do today” she said in a playful voice. I got up, headed into the bathroom and relieved my bladder. Grabbing my jacket I headed to the backdoor where Trish was waiting keys in hand.

I was surprised as Trish headed for the SUV. Given the gas issue the BMW would have been less expensive drive. Trish headed out to the freeway and headed north, “where we going?” I asked with curiosity. Trish laughed, “Don’t worry about it you’ll find out in just a little while.”

I sat back and watched the traffic flow by, wondering where we were headed. We had left the house after rush hour so traffic was not too bad. I could tell we were headed north toward the border. I was not sure if this was an old friend of Trish’s or what. “So how long have you known this person” I asked trying to figure out who this “old friend” might be.

Trish took the next exit. I looked at the exit sign to a small town just shy of the Canadian border. Trish just looked at me with a smile. 10 min later we pulled into a small town, Trish glanced at the internal GPS system in the SUV, made a couple of turns and pulled into an empty parking lot in front of a small warehouse.

Trish shut off the car, “Come on baby boy, we have things to do” as she opened the door. I got out and meet her at the door. We walked into a very small empty office in the front of the warehouse. “Good morning my dear, you must be Trish” a middle aged woman said as she came through the door. She turned to me and I realized it was Grace. She gave me a hug and whispered into my ear. “Looks like you found the right one this time.”

I just stood there with my mouth open in shock. Trish looked sweetly at me, “oh baby girl, you know I can’t leave this alone.” Grace smiled, “I guess you’re ready to replace some lost items” Grace said. “Replace hell, I’m going shopping” Trish said with a giggle. “Well before you get started let’s get some measurements” Grace chuckled and reached into her desk and grabbed a cloth measuring tape.

Grace slipped the tape around my waist and then around each of my thighs, her last measurement went from the front of my pants through my crotch. Glancing over at Trish she said over her shoulder, “well he’s not wearing any now but he’s a medium.” I just stood there face burning. She took a couple of quick measurement of my chest and confirmed my size.

“Well you’re in luck “Grace said. “We are pretty much overstocked. Being a medium you won’t have a problem finding anything that grabs your fancy. The warehouse is closed on Fridays so you won’t be bothered. Were not set up for retail, so you may have to dig through the shelves” Grace said as she pushed through the swinging doors. Grace paused halfway through the door and said over her shoulder “we do not have a fitting room, but the bathroom is oversized and you’re welcome to use it any way you chose.” Trish patted my butt “baby girl this is going to be fun as we walked to the back of the warehouse.

Grace stopped us just inside the warehouse. “Ok let me explain how we are laid out. The front of the warehouse where we are now is the various diapers, as you move back you will progress through the dressing stages. Plastic pants after the diapers, tops, clothing and so on. Also we now carry 4 styles of diapers. Plain flat diapers, flat pre-fold, contoured hourglass with elastic in the leg and waist openings and a pull-on style.” Grace said as she handed one of each to Trish. “Each of these comes in various weights and thickness, day time, night time, and the pull-on comes with a special thickness called “punishment” thanks to your input” Grace said as she handed me one. I felt it, and was amazed at how thick and fluffy it felt. “WOW.” I said looking at Grace, “the pants too?” “Of course, can’t have a diaper that big without protection.” She smiled.

Grace looked at Trish, “He’s a medium except for the punishment diaper that is designed to be worn over a night time diaper so you will need a large. Let me explain about the panties and then I’ll turn you lose. Like the diapers we have a few different styles. The standard “Gerber” style, the Gerber snap-on style, and then the high-back pull up. Each has its advantages” Grace said. “The high-back is great for little ones that are mobile or sleep on there side, the extra height in the back prevents the diaper from wicking up the clothing. Here’s a cart “Grace said, “I have some bookwork too do if you have any questions.”

Trish looked at me and smiled, “come on baby girl lets get you some clothes” Trish pushed the cart down the first row. “So which do you prefer, flat, pre-fold or contoured?” Trish asked. I just stood there, face burning. Trish came up to me and kissed me lightly on the lips, “we can do this the easy way or the hard way, either way your going to be in diapers before the end of the day” she said as she folded her arms and waited for my reply.

“The contoured fit snug and are less bulky” I said shyly. “See that wasn’t hard” Trish said, “We will get a few of the contoured ones for when you go out” Trish said with a wicked grin on her face. My stomach dropped to the floor as she put half dozen plain white diapers into the cart, followed by a dozen extra thick night time diapers in various prints. “These are so cute,” Trish said as she held up a light pink diaper with toddlers in yellow sundresses.

Trish moved on to the pull-up diapers, “Well?” she asked “Those are actually better for concealment, at least the daytime ones as they compress pretty well under clothing and if you need to use the bathroom you can pull them up and down.” Trish looked at me a winked, “a voice of experience … how cute.” Trish put a couple of pairs of plain white daytime pull-ups in the cart along with half dozen baby girl nighttime pull-ups and move to the next bin.

Trish reached into the bin and pulled out a very large pull-up in pale yellow with blue and pink and brown teddy bears printed all over it. Trish passed over to me, “Grace told me this “punishment diaper” was your creation, want to tell me about it.” I just stood there, stammering. By explaining it I would have to admit that I enjoyed it and more of my secret would be exposed.

“OH COME ON”, “Grace tells me this is one of her best sellers. You can’t be the only one that feels something about this.” Trish said in exasperation. I stood for a second, “for me it was just the sheer thickness, and the bulk. I could ware it for hours without having to change it due to the absorbency. For the ones who have partners it was a way of embarrassment, or reminder that they were in diapers, no way to hide something that bulky.” I said as my hands felt the 15 layers of thick terry cloth lined with pink satin. Trish had no difficulty reading the excitement on my face as I handed it back to her. She quickly put it into the basket along with 3 more.

Moving down to the next row, Trish discovered the plastic pants. Smiling, “I don’t need your help here baby girl… Grace filled my in on your preferences” as she worked her way into the midst. Every thing she picked either had lace and frills or girlish colors and prints. Coming to the end Trish uncovered the “punishment panties” There were two different styles to choose from and Trish discovered the small lock in the waistband of the one style she laughed with delight. “Oh baby girl, I can see you in a pair of these when I have to go off to work on a Saturday.” Three pairs of the locking style landed on top of the pile. All three encased in lace with a pink bow in the front of the panties.

We move down to the next aisle away from the diapers and into the baby clothing. “Oh how fun” Trish said with a squeal. She picked out a pink one piece ruffled romper and held it up to me, “how cute” as she dropped it into the basket. Over the next 10 min all I heard was “how cute or adorable” as smock tops, sundresses, blouses, skirts and other clothing items made it into the basket.

Trish could tell I was about done shopping. She took one look at me as we move into the next aisle. “What is your problem?” she asked in a curt voice. “I have got to find a bathroom” as I pushed past her and headed to the back of the warehouse.

Trish caught up with me about ¾ of the way down the warehouse and grabbed my elbow. Grace a few moments latter grabbed my other and guided us towards the restroom

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