Bound for bed

[Bertha]

Come along Babykins, down you come, that’s it, straight onto your knees like the baby you are. Now crawl over to the dresser and we shall get you dressed for your outing. Yes, that’s right. We’re going to take you on a lovely trip to the park to see the quack-quacks, aren't you a lucky baby? Now then, what shall we dress baby in for his outing today?

Why don’t we let Melanie choose Babykins, I am sure you will love anything your old girlfriend chooses for you to wear won’t you sugar plum? Yes, all his baby clothes are in there, yes any drawer, pick anything you like.

Oh how sweet, baby’s pink bunny-rabbit footed onesie. He does look ever so cute wearing that particular one. Yes, I agree, it is lovely and babyish.

Babykins look at the lovely outfit Melanie has chosen for you. Ha-ha, certainly you can wear your jammies outside, you’re just a baby so no-one cares. See how he excited he is at your choice, Melanie? He just loves wearing his jammies, don’t you, my little diddums?

Ah-ah, naughty Babykins, down on all fours again unless you want yet another smacked botty? I thought not. No, they’re tears of joy, or they better be...

I think it would be easier if Babykins was put onto his changing mat. That’s much easier isn’t it? Hold still while Melanie puts your footsies in first. Make sure his tootsies go all the way into the padded foot, good. Now feel how soft his jim-jams are against his skin, they will keep him nice and cosy-wosy. Won’t they my precious?

That’s it, now get his arms in. Behave Babykins! Yes, you can punish him too if he doesn’t do as he is told, my dear. Stop fussing or you will go across Melanie’s lap do you hear? That’s better. Stop flapping the sleeves Babykins. Yes I know they are too long, I made them like that so you could grow into them. Maybe other eighteen-year-olds don't have to wear baby pyjamas, but their mummies don’t have eighteen-year-old sons who behave like babies and need to be spanked for misbehaviour!

Wasn’t that sweet of Melanie to pick your going-outfit for you Babykins?  I want you to give her a big hug, go on. Oh, dear Babykins, that wasn’t a very enthusiastic hug, was it?  If you don't start being more babyish and affectionate mummy might think about returning Babykins to the nursery full time. Do you want to go back into the nursery and spend all day in your cot or playpen and being pushed around the garden taking naps in your pram? I thought not. Now hug Melanie again and thank her properly for choosing your baby jimmy-jams. I want to hear you using your sweetest lisping baby voice, come along. Yes, that was much better, mummy expects you to be sweet and affectionate to every female who fuss over you, or else!
 
Melissa, have you got your baby brother’s pushchair ready? Good girl. See how well behaved and sensible your sister is. I beg your pardon Babykins? Does she act like a baby? No, because she is a girl that’s why. All males of any age are babies, that’s why you have a bedtime and have to wear baby outfits. Well if you think you look silly you only have yourself to blame but we all think you look really sweet in your onesie.

Now, get into your pushchair and Melissa will help put your mittens on. Oh yes, you are wearing them Babykins, I am not having you catch a chill, they will keep your handy-pandies warm and cosy In any case, your sister made them especially for today.

Babykins! Apologise at once. That’s it; a big kiss for your younger sister, you should be ashamed of yourself after all her hard work to make you those lovely mittens.

Yes Melanie, strap him in. Somehow I don’t think your brother would be running away dressed as he is but we wouldn’t want him to fall out and injure himself would we?

No, Teddy isn’t coming with us today; I thought Mr Flopsy would be a better  choice since Melanie’s mummy gave him to you. Besides Mr Flopsy complements your bunny jammies; yes Mr Flopsy has to come with us so none of your tantrums. Now, mummy will pull up the plastic cover, so if you sit quietly and hug Mr Flopsy, no one will take any notice of you sitting in your pushchair. All anyone will see is baby out with mummy and his big sisters. All ready? Off we go.

[Bertha]

Isn’t it a lovely day to visit the park Babykins? Tut what a naughty thing to say, are you missing Teddy, never mind, you just hug Mr Flopsy until we reach the duck pond.                                                                                                                                                                                           
Look Babykins, there are Melanie and her mummy waiting for us. Let me just move the rain cover. Ha-ha, It’s no good trying to hide behind your bunny Babykins, we can all see you.

Say hello to Melanie’s mummy Babykins, don’t mumble, say hello to Aunty properly like a good boy. That’s better. Yes they are adorable, aren’t they?  I don’t think Babykins likes his bunny rabbit pyjamas too much but mummy does and that’s the main thing. Isn’t that right my pet lamb, oh a little sulky are we? Perhaps the cat got your tongue?

Now then, why don’t we get you out of your pushchair so you can feed the quack-quacks? Yes, people may well see you in your jim-jams but if you don’t get out of that pushchair this minute people will see mummy put you over her knee and taking your jammies down to smack your little bottom. I thought that would make you change your mind, out you come. Take your bag of breadcrumbs and walk to the edge. Careful now. Melanie, take his hand thank you. We don’t want Babykins falling in now, do we?

Well, the duckies won’t come if you don’t call to them pet lamb. Why don’t you pretend you are a duck? How to ducks talk Babykins, yes they go quack-quack don’t they. You call to them, louder Babykins. Here they come, throw the breadcrumbs Babykins.  Keep shouting quack-quack, it’s so funny. Clever boy.

What's that you say, girls? Yes, a walk around the pond seems a splendid idea.
Did you enjoy feeding the ducks Babykins? No? I can’t imagine why not. There’s no pleasing you sometimes Babykins. Come along and take mummy's hand, we are off for a stroll.
Yes, you will walk, because mummy says so that’s why. Right, Babykins I warned you, over to that park bench.
Stop struggling; you are only drawing attention to yourself. You are lucky I am not taking down your jim-jams and nappy and giving you a bare bottom spanking.

Spank! Naughty Babykins will walk in the park in his bunny rabbit jim-jams if mummy says so!

Spank! Babykins does not answer mummy back!

Spank! Babykins will learn that mummy makes all his decisions even if he is eighteen!

Spank! Mummy is going to make an example of you once and for all!

Up you get onto the park bench. Yes, stand up there. Stop crying and do as you are told. Yes, no doubt you do feel foolish standing up there in your bunny slippers and pyjamas but mummy hasn’t started yet. Stand still and listen, no, don’t you dare get down. Now Babykins you are going to perform the teapot song all the way through with all the actions. Never mind you won’t. You will, or I will send you to nursery school for a whole week where Mrs Foster will be in charge of you, oh yes, believe me, I would. I thought that would make you think, remember what happened the last time Mrs Foster had you under her control

Come along the sooner you start the sooner you can get down.
One, two, three.
I’m a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle here is my spout  Hand on your hip Babykins
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out!   Lean over, arm like a spout Babykins

I’m a clever teapot, yes it’s true
Here’s an example of what I can do
I can change my handle to my spout  Switch arms Babykins
Just tip me over and pour me out.

Well done Babykins! You have never performed it better and luckily Melanie's mummy caught it all on camera so we can enjoy it all over again. Down you come and mummy will put your mittens back on. No, you can’t go back into your pushchair, you need some exercise.
That’s it hold tight to mummy and Melanie’s hand and we will walk all the way back to their house.

Here we are. Are you tired after your walk Babykins? Of course, you are.
We have a surprise for you Babykins, Melanie is going to take you for a lovely warm bath and get you all ready for bye-byes. Oh yes, she is. She will bathe you, dress you in some clean jim-jams and put you to bed. Yes, that’s right you are going to spend the night here. What’s the matter Babykins? Don’t you want to spend time with your ex-girlfriend? Well, you will have to get used to it. Melanie is going to be helping mummy and your sister to make sure you are constantly supervised as our Babykins, what a lucky Babykins you are!

My, we have had a lot of tears today, We really should get you to bed earlier. Well really it’s not up to you is it Babykins. I suggest that a new five o’clock bedtime would be more appropriate from now on, is that agreed girls? Good, it’s unanimous. Your days will consist of being fed your meals sitting in your high-chair, napping in the garden on your blankie when weather permits, going for walks in your pushchair and then home in time to be bathed then tucked up in your cot, goodness after your busy days Babykins will be all tired out by five o'clock won't he? We will keep you dressed in nappies and jammies permanently from now on Babykins and tuck you up at five every night without fail. Your sister and your ex-girlfriend will find you much easier to manage that way.

Hush now don’t get upset, here is your dummy to calm you while Melanie makes up your baby bottle. You will soon get used to your new life of baby routine, you can look forward to being mummy’s Babykins for a long time to come!

FIN

[Ahiru]

I haven't been very active for a while, I'm still struggling with my health, but I have to say you're currently my favourite author, Bertha! I would love to read a story from a lucky babykins perspective.  It must be so very hard to fall asleep knowing other children are out playing! <3

[Bertha]

Ahiru, thank you for your kind comment. I fully appreciate how debilitating it can be when one is feeling unwell that even writing our little tales is too exhausting to contemplate. Wishing you well. B