The Settlement

[Sandra B]

Chapter 80.  All Good Things…

The two boys moved outside away from curious ears, to plot the arrangements. 
“I’ll have to get off school a bit early, and get to Dayton Comp. before you actually come out,” said Philip.  “And I’ll have to change, won’t I?  School uniform isn’t very cool, is it?”
“No.  And they might realise then who you are.  Ideally you’ll need something, you know, a bit sexy…and plenty of makeup.”
“Oh great!  So I’m supposed to hang out outside your school dressed up like a tart?  I’ll probably get picked up before you come out – or arrested, more like.”
“You know what I mean.  Subtle, but attractive.”
“Okay.  That’s something I need to think about.  What happens then?”
“Well, I’ll make sure I leave with my mates.  And I’ll tell them I’m meeting someone.  They’ll go, like, ‘Yeah ? What, your mum?  Hah ha ha.’  And I’ll go, ‘Nah – just a friend…  Oh, I think that may be her there’…  Then you, like pretend to see me, and give me a little wave…sort of coy and sweet… and keep your head down, just in case…maybe wear a hat with a brim…”
“How about some dark glasses and a trench coat?  Or a diving suit?”
“I just mean, be discreet.  Pretend to be shy or something.  Don’t get too close just in case…”
“What, in case someone recognises me?  Great.  This is a terrific plan.  What could possibly go wrong?”
“No, it’ll be fine, Phil.  So then I sort of sidle over, say, like, ‘hello darling’, an’ give you a kiss…”
“What?  Forget it!  No kisses!”
“Not a real kiss…but I mean, it’s gotta look authentic, hasn’t it?  Just a peck on the cheek, then.  And then I’ll take your hand and we can walk away…”
“…with half your school following us to see where we’re going…”
“No, no.  They won’t.  They wouldn’t.”
“Oh, god, what have I agreed to?  This is madness.”
“It’ll be fine, you’ll see…”
Philip shook his head.  Matthew tried to look encouraging.  They stared at each other.  Then again, simultaneously collapsed in laughter.
“You’re f***ing crazy, you know that?” said Philip.  I mean, if this goes wrong – and it wouldn’t surprise me if it did - you’re the one who’s going to bear the brunt.”
“I’m confident you’ll pull it off, Phil.  You’ve been at a girls’ school for weeks.  You must have learnt how to behave like a girl.  And you certainly look like one.”
“Maybe…”  He grinned.  What the hell.  It would be a bit of fun, anyway.  This guy was completely off the wall.  But he was beginning to like him.  In fact, to their growing surprise, they were both beginning to realise they weren’t as different from each other as they had imagined.

Inside the house, the girls had noticed that the boys’ relationship seemed to be blossoming.
“Look at them,” whispered Nikki, peering sideways out of the French windows.  “Thick as thieves suddenly.  What do you suppose they’re plotting?”
“Dunno,” said Jennifer.  “Not quite what I was expecting.  But I think we should try and find out.”
At that moment, the two turned and headed back towards the house.  As they came in through the kitchen, the girls caught the end of their conversation.
“… we’ll have to do it the first week after half term,” Philip was saying, “because my exams start the following week, and I don’t want to be thinking about that then…”
“Suits me,” said Matthew.  “My first one’s that Friday, so ideally early in the week.”
They reappeared in the lounge.
“What’s happening?” asked Nikki.
“Nothing,” replied Matthew, quickly.
“You two seem very friendly, all of a sudden,” remarked Jennifer, looking at them curiously.  “Been reminiscing about old times, have you?”
“Something like that,” said Philip, defensively.  “Come on, Matt – let’s get a drink and go back to the garage, shall we?”
After they’d gone, the girls began speculating about the rather odd turn of events.
“An hour ago Matthew was poking fun at him and calling him a sissy,” said Desdemona.  Now they’re the best of mates!”
“You know when he changed?” said Sadie.  “When Philip walked in in his Alice dress.  Did you see his face?”
“Do you think he’s taken a fancy to Philippa?” grinned Freida.  “Maybe they’re going to have an affair!”
“Seriously, though,” said Jennifer, “Sadie’s right.  His eyes were nearly falling out of his head.”
“I have to admit it would be the best, those two romantically involved,” laughed Nikki.  “But I think it’s something more prosaic.  They’re cooking up some plan and it’s due to come off next week.  And it’s up to us to find out what it is.”
“Maybe we should torture them,” said Freida, thoughtfully.
“Well of course that would be fun,” responded Nikki.  “But if we want to find out the truth I think we’re going to have to use subtler methods.”
“Such as?”
“Leave it to me and Jen.  I think Philippa may be persuaded to talk.”

The girls generously allowed Philip to complete his period of intensive revision in relative peace, though they made the most of the afternoons and evenings, dressing him as their whims dictated.
On the final Sunday Rebecca, much rested and refreshed, called at Jennifer’s to collect her property.  Jennifer was there with Nikki.  The others had all gone home, having had their fill of fun for the time being.  She found the baby waiting for her in the lair, naked except for its nappy and pink plastic pants, chained to the wall, and feeding itself from a gigantic plastic bottle of milk.
“Oh!  Philip!  You look firsty!” she exclaimed.
“Oh, she is,” smiled Jennifer.  We didn’t give her any lunch today, or anything to drink.  So she’s forced to feed herself from her new bottle.”
Philip had quickly removed the teat from his mouth, and seemed to be hiding it with his hand, with a guilty and embarrassed expression on his face.
“Show Rebecca your bottle, baby,” ordered Jennifer. 
Philip shook his head slowly, and blushed.
“What’s up wiv ‘im?” asked Rebecca.  “Seems to me you’ve tamed ‘im all right, just like wot you said you would.”
“Well, almost,” said Nikki.  “I think he’ll be much better prepared for the baby school now.  But he’s been cooking up some plot with his new friend, Matthew.  And he won’t tell us what it is.  So we’ve been trying a little coercion.”
“Any luck?”
“Not yet,” she whispered.  “But we have one final card to play, which I’m confident will do the trick.”  She winked at Rebecca, then turned back to Philip.  “Now show Rebecca your bottle, like a good baby, or you’ll have another spanking, my girl!”
Reluctantly, Philip released the bottle.  Nikki took it from him and handed it to Rebecca.
“What do you think?  The cap is glued on, so he has no choice but to use the teat.  The perfect training aid, don't you think?”
Rebecca goggled, then gave a short laugh.  “Oh, Philippa!  No wonder you were lookin’ so ‘appy!  I’ll let you ‘ave all your drinks like this from now on!”

[Sandra B]

Chapter 81.  The Plot Thickens.

The girls left him to finish his meal, and went into the house.
“Thanks for looking after ‘im,” said Rebecca.  “Did ‘e get all ‘is studyin’ done okay?”
“He did,” said Nikki.  “He told me today he could never have done it otherwise.  And something else.  He’s worn a chastity device for the whole week, and seems to have got quite used to it.  But now you’re back….”
“He did?  ‘Ow did ‘e manage that?  It ain’t possible, not for ‘im!”
“I don’t know.  I was surprised myself after all that you told me.”
“You know, Nikki,” said Rebecca thoughtfully, “I fink it’s somefink to do wiv ‘is aunt and that Tina woman.  I wondered wevver they was givin’ I’m somefink.  When ‘e’s away from ‘em ‘e seems to be’ave different.”
“He’s certainly not like the boy that we took in a week ago…or the one I…the one who sat next to me in class.  He seems much calmer and more at peace.”
“I ‘ad a feelin’…  I don’t fink ‘e would ‘ave got all that revision done if ‘e’d bin at ‘ome.  I’m gonna get ‘im outta there if I can.  An’ I’m investigatin’ the legal position.  I’m sure they ain’t allowed to do wot they done…”
“Look, Becca…  Do you mind if we try one last thing?  We need to find out what’s going on between Philippa and Matthew.  If  we could just….”  Her voice dropped to a murmur.
“Sure.  Course.  Let’s do it now, and then I’m gonna take ‘im back to my place.  I’ve missed ‘im a lot over the past week, but I stuck to our agreement, and fanks to you guys I fink ‘e’ll do well in ‘is exams, which is all I care about at the moment.  Come on.”
They returned to the lair.  Philip had finished his bottle.  Rebecca smiled at him.
“Darlin’?  I want you to come stay wiv me now.  Not your aunt.  Will you do that?”
“Course, Becca.  I wish we could live together always.  I’ve been thinking of you such a lot.  I do love you.  I’ll be anything you want.  I’ll be Philippa, of course, or baby Philippa if you’d prefer.  And I won’t be so selfish any more…”
“You were never selfish, silly.  And I love you, too.  I ‘ope you understand…  I needed a break, and you needed to fink about your work.  P’raps it were a bit cruel, but we bofe got wot we needed.  Now all I want is to go ‘ome and go to bed wiv you…”
“Me too, Becca…”
“But,” said Jennifer, “unless you tell us what’s going on with you and Matthew, it’s not going to happen.  Because unless you open up, you’re going to stay with your little willy all nicely locked up in its plastic tube, and you and Rebecca are going to have a frustrating time!”
“What?  You wouldn’t!”
“I fink they would, Phil.  So please tell ‘em what they want to know!”
Philip didn’t take long to decide.  It was no big deal really.  But he was reluctant to betray Matthew.
“All right.  But you have to promise to keep what I tell you a secret between us four.  No-one else can know.  Matthew confided in me.  He'd be terribly hurt if other people found out.”
“I promise,” said Nikki.
“I promise, too,” said Jennifer.
“Okay, well, it’s like this…”  And he told them the whole plan.  Jennifer and Nikki were ecstatic. 
“And when’s this coming off?” asked Nikki.
“We were thinking about Tuesday…”
“I want to be there!” said Jennifer
“Me too!” added Nikki.
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”
“You won’t see us.  We’ll keep well out of the way.  You in, Becca?”
“I certainly am,” she said, seriously.  “What do you fink?  My boyfriend ‘avin’ a date with someone else?  I ‘ope this ain’t gonna get serious, Phil…”
“Shut up, Becs!  I’m doing him a favour, that’s all…”
“Ah, I see, now,” said Nikki.  “A favour in return for the pictures…?”
“Pictures?” asked Rebecca.
“Yeah," said Philip, “he dumped some pictures – I’ll tell you about them later, darling – he dumped the pictures in return for me helping him out.  So what?”
“No, nothing.  I think you made a good deal.  And now we’re going to do a deal with you.  You’ve spilled the beans, so I’m going to unlock you, and we are going to help dress you for your date!  Agreed, girls?”
“Agreed!” said Jennifer and Rebecca, in chorus.
So Philip was released from his restraint, and allowed back into his normal clothes.  Then all four of them retired to the lounge, to decide on a suitably glamorous outfit for his assignation with Matthew.

[babycakes]

Didn't comment for a while because what the girls were doing to Philip was reprehensible.  Under the guise of "for his own good" they exposed him to Matt, which could end his life outside of this current fiasco, which per the story line has been reasonably well contained (his sojourn at the maid cafe aside).  A definite blame the victim scenario of which Rebecca was a co-conspirator. 

Now it seems Philip is coming back into his own and Matt may be a true friend though the jury is still out on him.  The girls do seem to have too much control given that, when the opportunity arises, Philip has a strong character.  If Rebecca can free Philip legally and physically from the clutches of his aunt and Tina then he hopefully should have the ability to turn the tables on the girls for once.  All in "good fun" mind you. Maybe Jennifer, et al, go to "Baby School" instead.  Would be a nice twist and teach the girls a valuable lesson. Couldn't resist the plug.

Time and your excellent authorship will tell.

[Paddybaby]

Suffering Withdrawal symptoms need more soon

[Sandra B]

Chapter 82.  Operation Girlfriend.

“What he needs,” said Nikki, addressing the other two girls and speaking as if Philip wasn’t there, “is something cool, functional, and not too dressy.  He needs to look like an ordinary girl coming from work.”
“I agree,” said Jennifer.  “Mini-skirt and blouse.”
“I was finkin’,” said Rebecca, thoughtfully, “ if ‘e wore ‘is tights, an’ the school shirt wiv a round collar, an’ ‘e just took off ‘is blazer an’ tie…”
“Yes….and put on a cute little leather jacket, and maybe a choker…” added Nikki.
“That would do it,” said Jennifer.  “The school skirt is pretty standard tartan, and he won’t need to change his shoes…”
“An’ we could straighten ‘is ‘air…maybe page-boy style…”
They smiled at each other.
“Well I’m glad you’re all agreed,” said Philip, sarcastically.  “Don’t bother to ask me, will you?”
“Okay, so what do you think, Philippa?” asked Nikki, in a slightly bored tone.  “Do you have any better ideas?”
“No…not really.  It sounds okay, I guess…  As good as anything.”
“It means you won’t have to change,” said Jennifer.  “You can just dump the school stuff in your locker, put on the choker and jacket, and away.  How are you planning to get off early?”
“Oh, I can say I have a dentist’s appointment, or I need to help my aunt.  Anything, really.  They’re not too bothered now.  Normal lessons are finished for the year.”
“Okay, that’s settled, then,” said Nikki.  “And listen, don’t forget to take your makeup to school with you.  Some nice red lipstick and a bit of mascara, okay?  Now, let’s have a go at that hair, shall we?”

The next couple of hours were spent in straightening, combing and trimming Philip’s wig, until his hair cupped his face like a shining bell, neatly framing his delicate, girlish features.  Jennifer stood behind him at the dressing-table, gently weighing his hair in her hands with satisfaction.
“It really suits you.  Don’t you agree?”
“I suppose it does, in a way.”
Rebecca bent down and kissed him on the cheek.  “You look so pretty, darlin’!  I’m almost feelin’ jealous of that Matt guy.  Make sure ‘e don’t take advantage of you.”
“No-one’s going to recognise you, I’m sure of that,” added Nikki.  “There’s no way they’ll associate you with that bloke that left to go to a girl’s school.  That hairstyle makes you look a hundred percent feminine.”
“And a hundred percent cute,” laughed Jennifer.  “I almost fancy you myself!  But if Matt’s trying to make his mates envious, I think you’ll do the trick.”

On the Tuesday, Philip eschewed his usual socks for a pair of forty denier black tights.  The girls had found him a short, plain, fine leather jacket with a little collar and a diagonal zip, and a leather choker with a buckle and a small silver sphere dangling from it.  He left class half-an-hour early, changed, did his makeup, dabbed a little scent around his neck, and headed off for Dayton Comp.  He rather liked his new look; he noticed he was attracting glances in the street, which gave him a faint illicit thrill.  He arrived at Matthew’s school about ten minutes before it was due to finish for the day.  He was beginning to feel anxious.  There were several cars outside, presumably parents waiting to collect their kids, but he ignored them and positioned himself just inside the recess of the main gates, which were still closed.  There was a car parked right opposite him, with a woman smoking a cigarette sitting at the wheel.  He was aware she was looking at him with faint interest.  He glanced at her nervously, and she returned a quick smile.  He checked up and down the street.  There was no sign of the girls.  Probably they hadn’t made it over after  school.  Okay.  His confidence was returning now.  He tried to compose himself.  A surly-looking man in a dirty overall and cap was approaching unhurriedly from behind the black bars of the gates, holding a bunch of keys.  He spat once, unlocked the gates, and swung them open noisily.  A minute later one of the doors in the main building crashed open, and the students began to cascade out. 
It seemed that Matthew’s friends had been in no hurry to get away; it was a full ten minutes before he caught sight of his friend’s untidy thatch amongst a group of other boys, heading straight for him.  He took a deep breath, and attempted to compose his face into a complacent smile.  As they approached, he saw Matthew say something to the others, detach himself from the group, and trot towards him.  He smiled and held out his arms, expecting a friendly embrace.  Instead, Matthew hugged him bodily, and gave him a massive wet kiss on the lips!  Philip was taken aback, but somehow managed not to recoil, and did his best to respond naturally.  He quickly became aware that Matthew’s friends had caught up, and were staring at him with intense interest, and not a little surprise.  Matthew turned to them.
“Guys, this is Philippa.  We’re just off to her place.”  (He must have thought this up all on his own, mused Philip, with the intention of implying Philippa was an independent girl of independent means.)  “Ready, darling?”
Matthew’s friends, having recovered from the initial shock, were now crowding around this vision of loveliness, introducing themselves and asking questions.
“Hi!  Nice to meet you, Philippa…  Er, I’m Dave.  Do you come from round ‘ere?  I mean, I ain’t seen you before, an’ I would know if I ‘ad….”  Dave wound up his salutation with a wink and slightly coarse chuckle, which, seeing Philip’s dismay, he quickly cut short.  Fortunately, Matthew rescued him from further examination by taking him by the hand and making to leave.
“Gotta go, guys.  See you tomorrow.”
A chorus of “bye, Philippa!  See yer round!”
“Goodbye boys,” responded Philip, politely.  “Nice to meet you all…”

They trotted off down the street, side by side.  They could feel the stares of the others on the backs of their necks.  Matthew took the opportunity to consolidate his gains by stopping unexpectedly, taking “Philippa” in his arms, and repeating his previous kiss; only this time, he was a little more tender and gentle, and to Philip’s horror slid his tongue deep into his mouth.  He felt unable to resist without blowing the whole prank, so he allowed his friend free rein.  Involuntarily he closed his eyes.  While the kiss lasted, the strangest feeling steadily blossomed inside him; a sense that he was indeed a girl, submitting to her lover.  Matthew kissed at least as well as Rebecca – and stirred all the same feelings.  His breasts began to tingle, and he felt a growing pressure in his panties.  He actually clung to him with a sort of inexpressible desperation.  He was shocked and confused.  When their lips finally parted, they stood there for a moment, looking into each other’s faces; Matthew with a smile of pure affection, Philip with reddening cheeks, blinking with puzzlement, searching his friend’s face for an explanation.

[Sandra B]

Chapter 83.  Affinity.

They walked on, still hand in hand despite the fact they had left the school far behind.  There was still no sign of the girls.  That was a relief.  God knows what they would have made of proceedings.  Philip was the first to speak.
“I think I know now why you don’t have a girlfriend.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t be disingenuous.  You know exactly what I mean.”
There was silence for a minute.
“I’m sorry, Philip.  Maybe you’re right.  I don’t really know myself.  But I like you a lot.  And when I first saw you in a dress, all made up, with your hair…  Anyway, that day you took my breath away, that’s all.  I can’t help what I feel…”
“It’s okay.  I like you too.  But beyond that…  I’m not sure.  I have a girlfriend.  I’m very happy with her.  It’s odd…  I didn’t think a bloke could make me feel…anything.  I need to think.  Can we go somewhere quiet?”
“We can go to my place.  My mum’s out.  My sister will be at her friend’s house till late.”
“Okay….I guess…”

Matthew led him to a red brick demi-detached in a quiet road.  He let them in.  There was a smell of cleanliness in the air, and the place was furnished with quiet functionality.  Matthew made them coffee, and they went and sat in the lounge, side-by-side on the sofa.
“So, that seemed to be a success,” remarked Philip, “don’t you think?”
“Maybe too much of one,” returned Matthew, with a wry smile.  “They’re going to want to see you again, or…”  He looked at his friend with an expression in which doubt and hope were intermingled.
“Hm,” was all Philip said in reply.  He sipped his coffee and looked straight ahead.  He knew Matthew was waiting for him to say something.  Eventually he turned to his friend with a sigh.
“Look, Matt.  I don’t know what all that was about…  I did feel…I don’t know…I wasn’t repelled by what happened…not at all…it was odd…”
Matthew reached over and took his free hand.  “It’s okay.  We don’t have to say anything more about it.  I’m sorry.  It was…the wrong thing to do…”
Philip allowed Matthew to retain his hand.  He looked at him and smiled a smile of resignation.  Matthew had such an innocent face, such a childish demeanour, somehow.  He put down his coffee, and took Matthew’s and put it down next to it.  They moved closer together, and embraced.  He felt Matthew’s lips on his ear, his cheek, his mouth.  In a moment they were locked together.  Again they kissed passionately.  His hand sought and found the zip of Matthew’s jeans…  His head descended into his friend’s lap…

In the excitement and intensity of the episode at the school, the boys had been oblivious to their surroundings.  In fact, the girls had observed everything.  Nikki had arranged for one of her friends to drive them to the school and park with the waiting parents.  They had already been incredulous at Matthew’s initial greeting, and when they witnessed the second, more passionate, embrace, their mouths fell open in unison.
“Shit!” ejaculated Jennifer, expressively.
“What the f***?” cried Rebecca.  What does ‘e fink ‘e’s up to…?” 
Nikki laughed.  “Looks like they’re even better friends than we thought...”
When the boys were at a safe distance, they piled out of the car and followed on foot.  They watched them go into Matthew’s house.
“Now what?” asked Jennifer.
“Give ‘em a minute, then we’ll ‘ave a peep frough the winder,” murmured Rebecca.  “See what they’re up ter.”
But all the curtains were drawn, and they could hear nothing.  They debated knocking at the door, but in the end decided to leave.  They had seen enough for one day.
“Wait till ‘e gets ‘ome,” said Rebecca.  “I’ll soon find out what’s bin goin’on!”
“And don’t keep it to yourself, will you?” added Nikki.
 

[Sandra B]

Chapter 84.  An Explosion.

When Philip returned to Rebecca’s, at eleven that night, she was waiting for him.  The rolling-pin she was holding was purely metaphorical, but it might as well have been real.
“’Ave a good time, then, did yer?”
“Sorry I’m a bit late darling….”
“A bit late?”
“Quite late, then…  I sort of lost track of time…  I tried to ring you…”
“Bullshit!  You did nuffin’ of the sort.”  She seemed to calm down a bit.  “Well, come on then.  Tell me ‘ow it went.  Sorry we didn’t make it.”
Philip was relieved.  “That’s okay.  There was nothing to see, anyway.  Yeah, we got away with it.  I think Matty’s mates are convinced he’s got a girlfriend now.”
“Matty?”
“Matthew…Matt.  Yeah, went off pretty smooth, all right.”
“Oh, I’m pleased to ‘ear that, darlin’.  I s’pose you went off to…Matty’s, afterwards?”
“Yeah.  Sat around there for a bit.  Played a few computer games.”
“I see.  Anyone else there?”
“No, we…  I mean yes, his mum, of course.”
“What’s ‘er name, now?”
“Oh, yes, er…”  He suddenly remembered.  “Jill, yes, that’s right.  Jill was there, of course.  Made us supper…”
“Anyfink nice?”
“No, not particularly…you know, just like…sandwiches and stuff.”
“Nice of ‘er.  I should meet ‘er.  Now that Matty’s such a good mate of yours…”
“Oh, yes, good idea….  Becca, I’m really tired.  Do you think we could…?”
“Of course, darlin’.  Just as soon as you explain what you an ‘im was really doin’ all this time!”
“Sorry?  What do you mean?”
“You’ve bin gone hours, an’ no’ a word.  Just tell me.  I ain’t the possessive type.  I don’t care.  But please, tell me the troof.”
“The truth?  What do you mean?  I already told you…”
“We saw you.  You an’ ‘Matty’.  Snoggin’ each uvver’s gobs off.  Then you disappear wiv him for hours.”
“You saw us?  But you said…”
Rebecca looked at him.  “I’m waitin’.”
“Well it didn’t mean anything…  I mean, he started it, and I couldn’t very well push him away, could I?  It would have ruined everything.”
“’E may ‘ave started it, but you was just as enfusiastic, weren’t yer?”
“No, I…  That’s not fair.”
“Come on, Phil, tell me.  If you tell me the troof, I ain’t gonna be angry.  I’m only gonna be angry if you lie to me.  An’ if you lie to me, we might as well give up, anyway.”
It too several minutes of coaxing, kissing, and affection, but eventually Rebecca got her confession, after a fashion.
“I’m so, so sorry.  I don’t know what came over me.  It was like…like I was someone else.  He started it, and I just…I don’t know, I couldn’t…resist.  He was very persuasive.”
“Was ‘e?  An’’ow did ‘e persuade you?  Well?”
“He…he started kissing me…and then…”
“Yeah?”
“Then he put his hand up my skirt, and the next thing…”
“Carry on.”
“The next thing…he went down on me.”
“Did ‘e?  That must ‘ave been nice.”
“No, not really…”
“And did you…”
“What?”
“You know.  Did you…”
“Well I sort of had to, I mean, I felt it would have been selfish…otherwise.”

He looked at her sheepishly.  Suddenly the sympathetic smile faded from her face.
“You f***ing bastard!”  She screamed.  “’Ow could you?  ‘Ow could you do that to me?”
“I’m not gay…” Philip began.
“I don’t give a f*** if you is or if you ain’t!  I don’t give a f*** wevver it was a woman or a man or a f***ing ‘ermaphrodite!  That ain’t the point.  The point is, you f***ing betrayed me!”
Philip realised he had made a mistake.  Two mistakes in fact.  The first was having sex with Matt.  The second confessing it.
“Darling, I….”
“Don’t darlin’ me, Philip – Philippa, or wotever.  You’re sleepin’ on the floor tonight.  In the shed!  An’ tomorrer I’m gonna see that Matty of yours and tell ‘im wot I fink of ‘im!”
And she stormed out.