Chapter 7. Minutiae.
Tina pulled up three armchairs, and they sat around the coffee table, facing each other. Nothing was said for several minutes, as Tina poured out the coffee and handed round the cups. Aunt Estella sat very upright, with a virtuous expression on her face, looking straight at Philip. He felt the need to break the silence.
“These…things. They fit me perfectly. Is that coincidence, or…”
“Nothing I do is coincidence, young man. Don’t you remember I sent you some clothes last autumn, for your birthday?”
He did. They were not at all the sort of things he would have worn. They were still in their packets at home, unopened.
“Yes…”
“Well, I used that as a pretext to ask your mother for your sizes and measurements.”
Philip remembered his mother measuring him. He had been slightly puzzled about it at the time, but she had said she was thinking of ordering him some stuff.
“So you had this planned a year ago?”
“Not planned. But it was in the back of my mind.”
“So what you’re saying is, that in fact you’re a total pervert. You were fantasizing about dressing me up as a girl even when you hadn’t seen me for years.”
“Philip, please don’t…” interjected Tina.
“No, that’s all right, darling. You misunderstand, Philip. I have no sexual interest in you. In fact, as my nephew, I want you get on in the world. I think this training, together with the schooling, will help you do that. No, I do have personal motives, but they’re not perverted, merely utilitarian. You see, our maid had been talking about leaving since last summer. I really can’t manage without a maid, you understand. Then a few weeks ago, she finally did it. You have no idea how difficult it is to find a maid these days. I always prefer a trainee – they’re so much more compliant. But girls simply aren’t going into the profession any more. However, I have a feeling that you are going to be perfect for what I want.”
“Is this true, Tina?”
“I’m afraid so, Philip. But your aunt will be a good mistress, really. Please just do what she asks. It will be best for everyone. And I’ll be here to assist in any way I can.”
She looked at him with such an expression of concern and interest, that Philip forgot all about his situation for an instant. He would have endured anything to be closer to Tina.
“I guess I’ll have to get used to it for a while. I don’t have an alternative, do I?”
“No Philip. you don’t. I’m glad you’ve decided to co-operate. If you’re diligent and conscientious I’m sure we’ll get along. Who knows, you might even get to like it.”
Philip made no reply.
“So, let me explain what will be required of you. I’m a great believer in routine. Routine ensures things get done in their proper order and proportion, and it frees the mind of worry about what to do next. This will be your routine. On weekdays you will rise at seven, shower, and dress in your maid’s uniform. You have a winter uniform, full-length, made of wool, and a summer uniform, much shorter and lighter, made of cotton. I have also acquired a fancy uniform for special occasions - just a silly indulgence of mine - but you needn’t concern yourself with that at present. You will come downstairs and make the coffee, which you will take to Tina and myself on trays. You will then lay the breakfast table, make more coffee, and tea – I like tea with my breakfast – and, if I have asked you the night before, maybe make some toast or put a croissant in the oven. Having done that you will clean the shoes and do any other little jobs I assign to you. We shall descend at eight and eat breakfast, after which you will eat your own breakfast, and clear away and wash the breakfast things. This should take you until eight forty-five. You will then return to your room, change into your school uniform, and be ready to leave with Tina at nine. If she is not available to drop you at school, you will walk – it is only fifteen minutes away.”
Philip, who had been listening to his aunt’s lecture with growing discomfort, stared at her aghast. “But I can’t walk there dressed up in a girl’s uniform, aunt! It would be…..”
“Embarrassing? Please don’t interrupt, Philip. No, you will soon get used to it, believe me. Most days you will have to make your own way home, in any case. To continue, on your return from school, you change back into your maid’s uniform, and deal with the washing and ironing. You will need to collect the clothes from the bedrooms, wash them, dry them , and, if necessary, iron them. And please make sure use the appropriate wash cycle – I don’t want to see any of our clothes ruined by your incompetence. Everything you need is in the cellar. Once that is done, your duties, apart from washing up after supper – are done. You may wear casual clothes during the evening. I have calculated that that should leave you a total of about five hours before bed at eleven-thirty. You will devote four of those hours to study, and one to leisure. You will not study on Friday evenings or on Saturdays. But on Sundays, apart from your early morning duties, which will be scheduled one hour later than on weekdays, and your usual evening duties, you will devote yourself exclusively to school work and preparation for school the next day.”
“So what happens on Friday evenings and on Saturdays?”
“If you have worked well during the week, that will also be leisure time. You may have friends round, or do something with Tina ,and if I feel I can trust you not to break any of the terms of the agreement, I may – may, mind – allow you to visit a friend, or go out, as well. But you will have to earn my trust. Occasionally I will require you to work either or both evenings, if, for example, I have a dinner party.”
“Is that all?”
“It is a fair division of labour and leisure, nephew. I have put a full timetable in your room, so you will know exactly what your duties are at any time. Though I imagine you will not need a reminder after the first few days. If you stick to the rules, it will instil in you a proper sense of responsibility, as well as benefiting your academic pursuits.”
“Aunt, I’m gonna look stupid in those clothes…”
“Which is why I’m employing a beautician for you, Philip. She will be visiting for the next three or four weekends. She will be here at two this afternoon. By the time she’s finished, I hope you will look anything but “stupid”. Moreover you aren’t that tall for a man, so you should fit in nicely amongst all the girls. And tomorrow morning I will travel to school with you. We have an interview with Miss Tancred, the headmistress, at ten.”
“What is this school, anyway?” Philip sulked.
“It is one of the best sixth-form academies in the country, Philip. The Caroline Norton School. There are only two years, with, I think, about forty girls in each year. Tina went there, didn’t you, dear?”
“Yes, Philip. It really is an awfully good school. The teachers are really nice, and consequently the girls are all very happy.”
“Christabel Tancred is a very close friend, and she has agreed to bestow upon you the honour of being the first boy ever to attend.”
“So why can’t I be a boy, then, and not a girl?”
“Oh, don't worry. It will be made clear to everyone that you are a boy. But you can’t expect the school to start altering the uniform for a single pupil. So you will wear the standard uniform – you will have seen it in your closet – and, like all the girls, you will be expected to be presentable – hence the beautician.”
Philip’s head dropped and he mumbled something under his breath. He felt that listening to his aunt had worn him out. She had broken down all his resistance by sheer weight of verbiage.
“Any questions? No? I take your silence as acquiescence. Good. You will have some, I'm sure, when all my instructions have sunk in. Tina and I will always be pleased to offer you guidance. Won’t we, darling?”
Tina nodded, looking at Philip and lowering her head slightly at the same time as if trying to gauge his reaction.
“And one last thing, Philip. It would be unwise to deviate from the schedule, or neglect your duties. Remember your declaration. If you manifest laziness or dissent, be assured, you will be punished. Do you understand?” Philip made a face. “Do you?”
“Yes, aunt.”
“Good. So you are now free until this afternoon. Sally will be here after lunch. Dismissed.”
Philip glanced at her with disbelief. Did she actually say “dismissed” to him?
“You may go, Philip. I suggest you arrange your wardrobe to your own satisfaction. Let me know if there’s any item of clothing you would particularly like, and if I think it appropriate, I will endeavour to obtain it for you.”
A pair of trousers would be nice, he thought. But he decided such pleasantries were better unspoken at present.