Exploit the First: Charlotte
We all know the scenario. You’re a young boy with a tendency to mischief and a familiarity with a range of bad language. Your mother will stoop to the lowest subterfuge to foil your schemes, if she can divine what they are, deny your right to free expression, and generally make life difficult for you. Her best friend is equally malevolent, and the two of them may frequently be seen plotting together, like two gleeful witches. It’s a wonder they don’t have a cauldron stashed in the garage or somewhere. Worst of all, this friend has a daughter, an annoying little girl a couple of years younger than yourself, who seems to have taken a solemn oath that she will dedicate her life to the sole purpose of plaguing and provoking you to death. So you might have guessed – had you read any stories in which such a conjunction of factors occurs – that trips to this friend’s house would one day end in disaster.
And the annoying thing was, he was only going because, when his mother had suggested it, he had been distracted by the game he was playing, and had failed to come up with a suitable excuse within the period she had allotted for a reply – that is to say, immediately. He had made a bold bid to recover the situation, by suggesting he had a prior appointment with his friend Michael; a poor choice, since, as his mother cheerfully reminded him, Michael and his parents had gone away that very Saturday for the week. So here he was, trotting along the street in the sunshine, when he could otherwise have been ensconced in his room with his computer and a giant bag of crisps, the curtains tightly drawn. His only distractions consisted in assessing the possibility of injuring little Daphne in some minor way, whilst escaping blame, and cogitating on the important question whether, it being Saturday, her mother had laid in a variety of sweetmeats in preparation for the weekend.
Sammy Watkins was small for his age, which was twelve, with an interesting combination of brown eyes and scruffy blonde hair, and therefore not much taller than Daphne, who was only nine, though her birthday was the following week. That thought checked for a moment his malicious scheming, since her birthday parties were famous for the variety and quantity of food and drink available, and invitations were eagerly sought by her friends and acquaintances alike. Anyway, Sammy knew he would be okay, being the only boy amongst those her mother counted as her daughter's friends, and therefore, by the requirements of diversity, being indispensable, despite their occasionally abrasive relationship.
Upon arrival, the two mothers greeted each other with effusive exclamations. The visit, under the pretext of allowing the children to play together, was in truth as much for the convenience and pleasure of the mothers. Sammy was focussed on the presence or absence of food, and, whilst keeping his distance from Daphne, was able to detect some interesting-looking crumbs in the vicinity of her mouth. That looked promising, so he provided the necessary catalyst for the appearance of the source of those crumbs.
“Mum,” he whined, “I’m hungry. I didn’t have much breakfast…” Which would have been the truth, had he been a young carthorse.
Daphne’s mother was eager to satisfy his wants and remove any excuse for later interruptions.
“Darling, I’ve just baked some cakes. They’re in the kitchen. Help yourself.”
“Mum!” protested Daphne. “Don’t tell him that! He'll scoff up the whole lot!”
“Now Sammy,” his mother intervened, “you may have two of Patricia’s cakes. Two, and no more, mind. Do you understand?”
“Yes, mum,” he threw back, as he headed for the kitchen. He understood, but understanding was not the same as complying. However, Daphne was in hot pursuit.
“He eats such a lot,” smiled Vivien Watkins apologetically. “You wouldn’t think it to look at him, would you?”
“Don’t worry, Viv. He’ll suddenly spurt up one day, and you'll be bankrupted trying to buy him clothes,” replied Patricia Bishop, encouragingly.
“I suppose so…”
In the kitchen, Sammy had eaten his allowance, but predictably, given the deliciousness of Mrs Bishop’s cakes, was unable to restrain himself from gobbling up two more.
“I’m telling your mum,” said Daphne, triumphantly.
“No, Daphne, please…”
Sammy could deal with a telling-off. Water off a duck’s back. What he didn’t like, was being told off in front of Daphne. His mother had done it before, and she always managed to say something particularly humiliating, which Daphne would latch onto. Last time it was, “If you pull Daphne’s skirt once again, I’ll put you in a pair of girl’s panties for the rest of the week!” This had delighted Daphne, and she referred to it for weeks after as a sort of threat should he misbehave.
“Please, Daphne. We can go and play if you want…”
The bribe worked.
“Okay. Come upstairs and let’s play with my dolls.”
With a sigh, Sammy followed his friend up to her room. Her dolls were scattered around everywhere, in every conceivable posture. He remarked that in general they looked tired, and may not want to be played with, but Daphne pointedly ignored him.
Now you may have been wondering who the titular heroïne of this story was, and if and when she was going to appear on the stage. Charlotte was Daphne’s most favourite doll. She was propped up against Daphne’s pillow, with an expression of unalterable innocent happiness of her face. She had a variety of costumes, but today she was a ballet dancer, in a yellow leotard and yellow leg-warmers, with a yellow bandana around her shock of curly yellow hair. Sammy stared at her. Charlotte stared back. She seemed to be mocking him on behalf of her owner, or daring him to do something naughty.
“Let’s play tea-parties,” said Daphne. So they played tea-parties. It was one tea-party, as it turned out, but all the dolls were invited, and it seemed interminable. Eventually even Daphne had played the game for long enough, and suggested the dolls should at last all go to bed and sleep for a few minutes, which apparently was the most time a doll needed to sleep in a day. Sammy would have been happy for them to sleep forever, but he was corralled into arranging them all in comfortable positions in the bed and on the chairs. All except Charlotte. Because Daphne so loved Charlotte, that she had kept her original box, and she always had to sleep in that next to Daphne’s bed. It was a pink box with padded pink satin lining. The lid, also pink, with her name at the foot and a clear plastic window, lay next to it.
After all the dolls were asleep, Daphne suggested they after their nap they should next organise a dress-up session for them. Poor Sammy felt he could take no more, so he came up with a counter suggestion, namely that some of the dolls should play hide-and-seek. At least this would involve some running round the house, and get him out of the claustrophobic atmosphere of Daphne’s bedroom. To his surprise, she agreed, and even seemed quite enthusiastic. It worked like this. One of them would hide a doll in one of the rooms, and tell the other which doll and which room it was. The other then had five minutes to find the doll. Success led to the seeker becoming the hider. Failure, to the seeker remaining the seeker. They played quite happily for a while. Sammy was more often the winner, by virtue of his greater cunning and his willingness to toss a doll onto the top of a wardrobe, or hang her out of the window on a length of string. Vivien and Patricia were pleasantly surprised to see the children playing together so nicely for once, and leaving them to their coffee, cakes, and gossip.
But then Sammy decided to enlarge the boundaries a little. While Daphne covered her eyes, he sneaked Charlotte out of her box and ran downstairs, through the lounge, through the kitchen, and out into the garden. Vivien must have had a faint premonition of trouble, because she shouted after him, “Sammy? Where are you off to with Charlotte?” But he was gone and away.
His plan had been to lodge her in the branch of one of the trees, but he thought she might be bored up there, so instead he ran round the side of the house to the front garden to look for a hiding-place. The front was just lawn, however, with no secret nooks. He was about to turn back, when he had a great idea. Hide her in plain sight. And she could also entertain, and be entertained by, the passers-by. So without any real malice, the sat here on the front wall, looking out into the street. When he got back, Daphne was already in the lounge, her eyes full of tears.
“Where’s Charlotte?” she wailed. “What have you done with her?”
“What’s up? She in the garden, isn’t she?”
Daphne rushed in the garden and began running from one bush to another, one tree to the next. Sammy allowed her to waste five minutes, then shouted in triumph,
“Five minutes! You’ve lost again, Daph! She’s not there!”
“Where is she?” sobbed Daphne. “Where’s my Charlotte?”
Now Vivien and Patricia issued forth from the kitchen. His mother was not happy.
“Sammy! Tell Daphne where she is at once!”
He perceived the joke was over.
“Front garden,” he said. “I never said she was in the back garden, did I?”
Daphne hurled herself around the side of the house, the women following, Sammy in the rear.
“Stupid doll,” he murmured.
“Where is she?” Daphne was screaming.
“Open your eyes and look on the wall, stupid.”
“Where?”
Sammy pointed to the place he had left her, but there was nothing there. He went out of the gate, fully expecting she had fallen into the street, but there was nothing there either. He began to feel uneasy.
“She was right there…” he said, in a defensive tone.
“You left her on the wall?” asked his mother, in disbelief. “On the wall? Are you stupid? Whatever were you thinking?”
Daphne, inconsolable, ran back into the house, screaming.
“It’s just a stupid doll…” began Sammy. Not the wisest remark, under the circ-umstances.