It didn't take long to find the other contestants in the 1-4 age range and group up with them. For one thing, almost all of them were either sitting in strollers or being held by their parents, and secondly, they were standing far away from the other groups of contestants. This was because the annual competitions at the Princess in the Park event were generally split into two categories. The first was your standard Prettiest Princess competition. In this category, girls between the ages of 5 and 10 usually competed to see who was the most elegant and princess-like in a series of beauty contests and silly games to test their "princess skills". This was all mostly done for fun, with the contest rarely getting too heated and the prize being nothing more than your bog-standard plastic trophy of a fake golden tiara. The second category of the competition was referred to as the Prettiest Princess in Training category, and it was the one I was to be competing in. It was mostly similar to the first category in both it's theming and structure, the main differences being that the contestants were usually toddler aged and were allowed to have a parent or chaperone on stage with them. The contests and games were also generally toned down and made much more age appropriate for a group of contestants that may not even be able to comprehend instructions yet. After the two competitions, the girls and their families would have a chance to meet with the titular Princess Brittney and engage in various activities including crafts, face painting, and story time. For it's target audience, it was a day of fun and good cheer to remember and cherish for the rest of their lives.
For me however, it was going to be torture.
The first thing I noticed as Jenna and Beth dragged me over to this rag-tag group of not-yet princesses were the multitude of upset stares being shot in my direction before we even joined them. Not from the little girls of course, they were completely oblivious, but from their sneering parents. As we drew in closer one concerned mother walked up to us with her hands on her hips and madly began to confront us. "Um, what is this?", the tall middle aged woman said as she came to a stop in front of us, blocking our path. "Surely you can't be serious right now. This is highly inappropriate, and it has to be against some sort of rules!"
Jenna, completely unfazed by this woman's harsh tone of voice, handed the stroller and diaper bag to Beth before leaning close to the angry woman and whispering something in her ear. I could not tell what she was saying since she was holding a hand up to block me from reading her lips, but I could tell that whatever it was, it was convincing. The lady's face became much more relaxed and pacified the more that Jenna whispered.
"Hmm...Yes...Oh no...I'm so sorry about that...that's terrible...well of course", the woman said to Jenna as I leaned in and tried to figure out what the heck they were talking about. "I understand completely. Well, if your little Buttercup feels the need to do this that badly then I don't see any harm. I'm sorry I was so harsh and judgmental."
"That's alright, I understand why you might have been", Jenna said out loud, finally breaking from her whisper, "Thank you so much for understanding our special circ-umstances. I'm glad we could discuss this like rational adults. I hope your little one does well!"
The woman thanked her before returning to the group and telling them all exactly what Jenna had said. By the time I arrived with each of my cousins in hand, all of the adults were looking down at me smiling, and cooing sympathetically. "Awww there's the little sweet pea. Mrs. Jenkins told us all about Buttercup's special problems and we want you to know that we're proud of you two. What you're doing is so, so brave", one woman said to my cousins as she placed her hand on Jenna's shoulder in a sign of solidarity. I don't know how powerful Jenna's story must have been to convince an entire group of adults that it was perfectly fine for me to be paraded in front of them dressed like a fairy princess in diapers, but I was almost certain that I did not want to find out.
We spent the next twenty minutes or so hanging out with the group while we waited for our resident "Princess Guide" to arrive and give us further instruction. I spent most of this time sitting on Beth's knee on one of the chairs that had been provided while Jenna merilly bounced from person to person, no doubt talking to them about me and my sissified state. When our guide finally did arrive, she ushered us into a roped off section of the stands where we were to wait some more and prepare ourselves for the main event. Our guide's name was Emma, and she was a short and bubbly girl probably aged 14-18, dressed in a purple sleeping-beauty esque dress with short blonde hair and a very positive attitude.
While we were waiting for the event to start, parents fussed over their noisy toddlers all around me as I sat in the stands and tried not to draw too much attention. Emma was now going row by row with a clipboard and double checking the names of every contestant, and was only about two rows away when Jenna leaned over and tapped me on the shoulder.
"Hey, if I were you I wouldn't talk very much for the rest of the day. I'm not going to tell you the kinds of things I've been telling people here, because it would probably just upset you, but for the time being it might be wise to keep things to babbling or one word responses", she said to me in a low, hush-hush kind of voice.
A cold shiver inched down my spine. Babbling? What could she have possibly told them that would result in me needing to pretend to be nearly non-verbal? Beads of sweat began to permeate from my scalp as Emma finally approached our spot in the stands.
"Hello there", Emma greeted us in a friendly and innocent tone, "I can already tell that you must be Buttercup! I'm so glad to finally meet you!" She wrote something down on the clipboard, then looked up straight at Jenna and Beth. "And you must be her wonderful cousins Jenna and Beth. Roxy was telling me all about her encounter with you guys earlier. The picture she took with Buttercup was soooo adorable! You've very lucky to have such a special little sissy to take care of. Just so you know, you guys are going on seventh, right after Carla and her mother Ms. Laurence. Good luck! I can't wait to see her on stage."
My cousins thanked Emma as she continued her rounds and eventually made her way back to the ground level in front of the stage. By now there were multiple members of the sound and stage crew setting up equipment and props for the event, and I could tell that it would not be long before things got started. A few more minutes passed before a string of pink, purple, and blue lights turned on, and a lady in a similarly themed dress to Roxy and Emma walked out on stage to announce the beginning of the show. By now the other groups of older contestants as well as many attendees who were not participating in the show had arrived, and the stands were filled up to near capacity. As soon as the lady on stage began to talk, the stands full of people became as silent as an audience full of children could possibly be, and everyone listened intently to what she had to say.
The lady introduced herself as Court-Maiden Elaine, and thanked everyone for coming before discussing the itinerary for the evening. Admittedly, I did not hear much of what she had to say because she was slightly soft-spoken and I was in a section full of whiny toddlers, but I do remember afterward being alerted by the sound of clapping as I saw none other than Princess Brittney walk up onto the stage. Taking a moment to stop and curtsey, as well as bow to the audience, the little girls in the stands went wild as Brittney took her place at the microphone and began to adress everybody.
"Greetings fellow princesses and members of the royal court! My name is Princess Brittney and I am the host of tonight's extravagant gala here at the incredible Sea-Otter amphitheater, located inside of the wild and wonderful Upstate Park Zoo! Tonight will surely be a celebration for the ages as we gather so many beautiful princesses and princess in training together in one place to celebrate their wonderful regal excellence!"
High pitched hollars and cheers could be heard all around me as a sea of hyperactive girls jumped up and down upon hearing their favorite royal idol speak. Princess Brittney seemed to look slightly different than I had remembered, and in addition seemed to have picked up an English accent since the last time I had seen her a decade ago, as opposed to the not very noteworthy midwestern accent I remembered her having. At this moment I began to speculate that this was actually a different person entirely, and that the whole Princess Brittney persona was just a cheap way to market birthday party entertainment to little girls. I don't know why, but there truly was a part of me deep down that felt slightly betrayed by that development.
Brittney continued. "We will begin our celebration tonight with a contest to determine who is the fairest maiden of all. Of course, I myself am of the opinion that all princesses are beautiful, no matter what shape, size, or color they may be. It's inner beauty that truly defines a princess, and I truly do believe that everyone has the capacity to be beautiful and compassionate deep down! However, there can only be one fairest maiden in the land. The princess of the highest order. The one who can display the most elegance, thoughtfulness, and knowledge of how to treat her subjects well and shine brightly above the rest. Tonight, princesses from far and wide will partake in a series of contests to determine who will reign princess supreme! Looking out into the stands tonight, I can already tell that it will be a very tough competition. I can't wait to see what each and every one of you beautiful young ladies bring to the table, and I look forward to watching you show us all how beautiful you are in your own special way."
Once again the audience fell into an uproar. Children called out to Princess Brittney as if she was going to answer their calls, and parents worked tirelessly to calm their kids down enough for the show to continue. Eventually Princess Brittney held a finger up to silence the crowd, and for the most part they all complied.
"Before we begin however, there is another contest that we must all bear witness to. This particular contest is very, very special to me. It regards those who are not yet princesses in their own right, but may very well someday become just as elegant and charming as the multitude of mature, sophisticated young royals I see out there in the audience before me. I am, of course, talking about the annual Prettiest Princess in Training competition! Soon you will all meet the next generation of pretty young princesses and decide who is the most elegant and princess-like among them. I hope you all enjoy what I consider to be the most adorable part of our show tonight...and please, no flash photography! Without further ado, please put your hands together for the princesses in training as they begin to make their way on stage and introduce themselves to you!"
An eruption of applause from all around me began to deafen my ears as Emma walked over to our area and began to motion our group onto the stage. Jenna grabbed my hand and began to drag me after the rest of our group, while Beth remained in the stands to keep watch of our stuff. The supposed rule of no flash photography seemed to go out the window immediately for the parents and relatives who'd been left behind, many of whom were frantically whipping out their cameras and phones to take pictures of their little ones making their way on stage. Walking the considerably short distance from the stands to the stage became a nightmare as soon as I realized that there were many more people here than I had initially thought. Although I could hear no distinct conversations from the audience, the amount of disparate chuckles and gasps I could hear amongst the roar of the applause made me feel as though a great deal of attention was now being paid to my presence. My legs quickly became wobbly from sheer nervousness, and Jenna shot me dirty looks as she used her disproportionate strength to keep me upright and moving.
Once on stage, me and the other princesses-to-be, plus their chaperones, were neatly lined up together facing the audience. Starting from the beginning of the line, Court-Maiden Elaine appeared from backstage with a microphone and began asking the contestants to introduce themselves one by one (Or, if they were too young, asking their chaperones to introduce them instead). As she slowly made her way towards Jenna and I, I couldn't help but stare out into the sea of people and feel incredibly scared and anxious. Although there were many other contestants on stage, most eyes seemed to be fixed on me as though they knew something fishy was going on. To make matters even worse, as I looked around the crowd I soon noticed there were three separate figures on the top row of the stands with large cameras labed "WHKB Action 13 News", all of which were aimed directly at me. My body began to feel incredibly hot with sheer terror as I froze up and began to disassociate with myself physically. "Oh no. No no no no", I thought, "This can't be happening. They're going to put me on the news! Everyone I know is going to see me like this!" This overwhelming barrage of nervousness would end up getting the better of me, and it wasn't long before I snapped back to reality and noticed that my diaper was now completely warm and drenched! I couldn't believe it! I was actually so terrified that I soaked my diaper without even realising it, and now I was standing on stage in front of what felt like hundreds of people and possibly the entire local television market.
I was snapped back to reality when Jenna gave me a quick nudge from behind and motioned her head to the left. There I saw Elaine holding a microphone up to the contestant one spot ahead of me, a quiet and shy little girl with curly ringlets named Susie. I did not catch what Elaine initially asked her, but it did not seem to matter. Instead of answering her, the shy girl instead hid behind her mother's leg, eliciting a series of awwws from the audience. Elaine simply laughed and told her mother that it was okay. She was used to princesses being shy.
Finally the moment of truth had arrived. Elaine took her place before us and readied the mic. "Hello there sweetie", She said as she lowered the mic down to my face and put one arm around my shoulder, "and who might you be?"
I once again found myself frozen in place, unable to find the courage to answer such a basic question. Instead, I just hopelessly stammered in front of the beautiful hostess in front of me. "I...I...bu...uhhh...."
She lifted the mic up to Jenna, who happily grabbed onto it and answered for me. "This is my little Princess Buttercup! I'm sorry she couldn't answer, but she's not very good at the whole speaking thing."
Elaine chuckled and looked down at my nervous, shaky body. "And just how old is this pretty little girl?", she asked Jenna inquisitively, "She seems awfully big to not be talking yet."
"Well, her actual age is 16, but she has the mental age of about two years old. She's always wanted nothing more than to be a pretty princess like her favorite idol, Princess Brittney. She gets so lonely sometimes, sitting alone at home with her mommy all day. You know, not being able to go to school and all...", Jenna responded with a sudden serious tone, playing to the crowd for fake sympathy. The crowd bought into it hook, line, and sinker, and began to mutter amongst themselves about the poor unfortunate soul standing on stage before them. I suddenly felt Jenna reach down and hoist me up into her arms, as if to signal to the audience that despite my age I really was just a big simpering baby, and they should have no problem viewing me as such. She began rocking me back and forth as she continued. "I wanted to give her something special today that she could remember for the rest of her life, although I'm not sure if she even has such capabilities. She's such a special little girl, and she means the world to me. I hope you all agree and can help make her special day the happiest one of her life."
The crowd started cheering as Elaine leaned in and gave Jenna a hug, letting her know how brave and thoughtful she was to do something so nice for such a helpless, unfortunate person such as myself. By the time she had moved on to introducing the next princess and Jenna had let me down, I was barely even able to stand on my own. My legs were growing too weak from the humiliation of what just happened. Jenna looked down at me and smiled, patting my head. "I know what you just did in your diapeys, little girl", she whispered as I trembled before the entire audience. The humiliation had truly just begun.