44.
There was a brief, horrible silence. For a moment no-one moved. Sarah looked wide-eyed from Patricia to Sinead and back again. She began to try to retrieve the situation – “I-I mean, Annabel…” - but it was too late. Patrick was staring at Archie, whose eyes had filled with tears. With a faint cry he turned and dashed from the room. His footsteps pounded on the stairs, and then the bedroom door slammed shut.
Sinead made a move towards Patrick.
“Patrick…”
But he was already out of the room, and following Archie upstairs, leaving the girls rooted to the spot.
“I… I’m sorry,” blurted Sarah, bursting into tears. “It just…sort of came out…”
Patricia put her arms around her sister.
“It’s okay…it’s okay, darling. He had to find out soon, anyway. Don’t cry…”
“She’s right, Sarah,” said Sinead. “This is for the best. There’s no way this could have gone on…”
“I was so stupid…!”
“No, dear,” said Sinead, “not at all. I already nearly spilled the beans earlier. So don’t feel guilty. It had to happen.”
Upstairs, Patrick knocked softly at the bedroom door.
“Annabel…Archie…whatever. Can I come in?”
The only reply was faint sobbing. He turned the handle, opened the door slowly, and slipped in. Archie was face down on the bed, one arm across his eyes, crying in regular chokes, his little skirt half way up his bum. Patrick approached and sat down next to him on the bed. Archie prepared himself for an angry tirade – or even a blow. But…
“Don’t cry, idiot…” Patrick said, gently.
Archie waited. But as Patrick said nothing more, but placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and patted it slowly, he peeped up from his wet sleeve.
“I-I’m s-sorry, P-Patrick…so s-sorry… I didn’t mean to deceive you… I just…I just didn’t want you t-to go away…”
“It’s okay. It’s fine. Stop crying. I’m not going anywhere, and I hope neither are you.”
Archie shifted onto his side, and blinked at him through his tears.
Patrick smiled. “You know why I was immediately attracted to you, that day on the bus? Well, partly – mainly, I guess – because you had such appealing eyes and such an honest face. And then because you looked startled at my interest in you, like someone who had never been admired or – I don’t know if I should say this – properly loved. But also, I have to say, because I found you stunningly physically attractive. And part of that attraction – I realised this later that day – was that there was a striking ambiguity about you. There you were, to all intents and purposes a girl, yet there was something quite boyish about you – now I know just how boyish! For me, that tension between the genders was very exciting. Something in my psychology, I guess. It doesn’t matter why…
“But…”
“Then when we met in the park I began to be suspicious. It was too easy to talk to you. I’ve never felt that relaxed with a girl. And the way you walked … Just a tad too uninhibited, too energetic…”
“Oh… Yes, I guess I sor’ of forgot to act properly girlish…”
“And then in the restaurant, you in your uniform and tie… I was thinking, well, if this girl is a girl…then I think I really like her best in boys’ clothes!”
“An’ now…?”
“Now I’m glad I know the truth. It doesn’t make any difference to me…Archie? I’d better call you that now. None at all. Except…”
Archie had propped himself up on one elbow, and his tears were drying on his cheeks. “Yes?”
“You look so great in girls’ stuff. The ambiguity is simply reversed. So…I mean, would you go on dressing as a girl for me…? Not all the time, but maybe…”
Archie gave a gasp of relief, and threw his arms around his friend. “Course, Patrick! Any time you want. All the time, if you want!”
“Well, not all the time – that may make your life a little difficult. But some of the time. This outfit, for one…you look amazing in it…”
“You like it? I’m so glad. I love it too. I feel so good in it. Sometimes I feel ugly in my boy clothes, but as soon as I put on these pretty fings…”
“So you’ll still be my girlfriend…?”
“For as long as you want….”
“Give me a hug…”
Downstairs the atmosphere was fragile. The girls sat around saying little, and trying to interpret the silence above.
“Sarah – stop biting your nails.”
“Okay sis, only… What do you think…?”
“No idea. Just wait.”
They had to wait about forty minutes. Then they heard steps coming down the stairs. They all sat bolt upright.
“Both of them,” hissed Sinead.
They entered, hand-in-hand, big smiles on their faces. The girls stared, no-one prepared to ask a question.
“We’re fine,” said Patrick. “Archie’s still my girlfriend – boyfriend, whatever. We’ve talked it all through. For now at least, gender…”
“Ain’t an issue!” said Archie, ecstatically. “An’ I still want all my girl stuff, sis!”